


Shattered Remains

by xspike4evax



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-21
Updated: 2015-09-22
Packaged: 2018-04-22 17:44:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 52
Words: 221,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4844564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xspike4evax/pseuds/xspike4evax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Willow’s attempt to re-soul Spike has disastrous results turning her life and Spike’s upside down. As she grows closer to Spike and further away from Oz and her friends the Scoobies come to realise that not all dire situations mean the end of the world; but sometimes life as they know it, and all that’s left for them is the shattered remains of what they once had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Winner of the 2015 Willowy Goodness Spike/Willow category and runner up at the Sunny D Memorial awards 2015 in the category best romance.

Chapter 1

 

How could a night go so wrong so quickly? How could everything turn upside down within in a matter of minutes? Considering she lived on the hellmouth Willow figured that she shouldn’t really be surprised; she already had first- hand experience of how bad things could get and how quickly they could get even worse.

She sniffed, and twined her fingers together in her lap. All she had wanted to do was the right thing, cast a de-lusting spell on herself and Xander so that they could squash these new feelings between them, new for Xander anyway, she had lusted after him for a good few years now. But he was with Cordy and she was with Oz and the last thing either she and Xander wanted to do was hurt Cordy and Oz, they were all friends after all.

Hence the de-lusting spell.

Experience should have taught them both to keep their guard up, Sunnydale High School was not the safest of places to be at night, it wasn’t the safest of places to be during the day either. But really, how could she or Xander have foreseen the arrival of Spike in the science lab!

The object of her fear and panic was across the room from her right now, ranting and raving and waving his arm about. From what he had told her so far Willow understood that Drusilla, the absolute love of his life, had dumped him.

To say she was surprised was an understatement. Willow hadn’t really given the romantic relationships of vampires much thought but from what she had seen of Spike over the last year, Willow honestly had never expected to see him looking so broken and defeated.

“You’re a witch, right? So you’ll do a spell for me. You can do that, can’t you?” Spike demanded glaring at her.

“Um…” Willow cleared her throat. “I can try….”

“Try?”

Spike looked livid and Willow was now aware that she had said the wrong thing. Spike didn’t want to hear how she was just learning, how her magic hadn’t developed all that much yet. No, he wanted to hear her say how she could perform any spell he liked.

“You’ll do more than that, witch. You’ll do a love spell for me, make it so that Dru can’t unlive without me. You’ll make her sorry, you’ll make her beg and crawl!”

She jumped when he hit the end of the bottle he was holding against the wall. It smashed loudly, shards of coloured glass falling to the floor, splintering apart even more when his large black boots stood on them, crunching the glass into the dirt and dust.

Spike stalked over to her his arm going around her neck and his hand fisting tightly in the hair at the back of her head. He yanked her to her feet dragging her close to him, forcing her head back as he raised the jagged end of the broken bottle to her face.

The sharp edges of the glass were cold when they brushed her cheek, dark droplets hung on the serrated glass and the smell of whisky was foul and cloying in her nose.

Willow cried out, her blood roaring in her ears and her mind going completely blank with blind panic as she faced what she thought was the end of her life.

“You’ll do the spell or I’ll shove this through your face!”

“I’ll do the spell,” Willow gasped out. “I’ll do any spell you want.”

He released her then, turning away from her to pace again and throwing her back towards the bed she had been sitting on, the bed where Xander lay   unconscious and unresponsive. She wanted to check on him but she daren’t, Willow daren’t turn her back on Spike for a moment and the last thing she wanted to do was draw attention to Xander’s weak and vulnerable state; Spike might just decide that Xander was no use to him like this and snap his neck or drain him.

Spike threw the remains of the bottle at the wall with a loud yell startling her. He turned to face her, blue eyes blazing with anger. “A bloody chaos demon!”

Willow blinked, the way he was looking at her told her that he was waiting for a response. When a drunken angry vampire was yelling at you and pacing around a damp, dark basement like a prowling animal Willow figured that listening to him would be the smartest thing to do. Letting her guard down once tonight had gotten her into this basement in the first place.

“Do you know what they look like?” He was still moving around, unable to stay still for a moment with all the pent up rage and energy boiling in his veins.

Willow swallowed nervously and shook her head her hair falling from behind her ear to obscure her face. She wanted to sink down into a little ball and hide from him, anything to make him stop shouting and go away.

“Ugly things, all slime and antlers.” Spike sat down beside her on the bed. It had at one point probably been a nice bed but with the fire everything was blackened.

Should she tell him she was sorry? Express some sympathy? Willow wasn’t sure what he expected her to say and do. Since knocking Xander out in the science lab and bringing them both back to the warehouse he had once stayed in with Drusilla and Angelus, all Spike had done was shout and swear about Drusilla cheating on him and leaving him. It was only now that he had given an explanation for the kidnapping. He showed no sign of leaving any time soon either.

The last thing she wanted to do was a spell for Spike. What if it went wrong? He’d be sure to come back to Sunnydale to rip her throat out, after torturing her half to death first of course.

Willow was well aware of Spike’s reputation, she knew of his past evil misdeeds, of the bloody trail of death, torture and destruction that had followed him across Europe for a century and he terrified her to her very soul.

Anything could happen to her in his company.

“I gave her everythin’,” Spike moaned pitifully. “Beautiful jewellery, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them.”

A wave of nausea washed over Willow at this last gift although she was pretty sure that it wasn’t the worst present Spike would offer to a vampire like Drusilla.

“I did everythin’ for her and then suddenly I’m not demon enough for her. It was that truce with the slayer that did it,” he told her mournfully. “She said I was weak she did. Said that…. That we could still be friends. How can she be so cruel? Didn’t even care enough to rip out my heart or cut off my head.”

Willow stiffened when he leant his head on her shoulder. It was weird not feeling his breath against her skin. She inhaled slowly, willing herself to stay calm. Buffy and Angel would be out looking for them, Spike couldn’t take on both Angel and Buffy in his drunken state. Buffy would find her and Xander, Buffy would rescue them she just had to keep him talking or better yet, get him out of the basement, it would give her a chance to examine her surroundings and maybe find a way out.

“I’m so unhappy,” he wailed.

Spike was a soulless demon, he had no scruples, no morals, he was the embodiment of a living nightmare; and yet Willow couldn’t help but feel a spark of compassion for him.

Reaching out a shaking hand she patted his jean clad leg awkwardly. She hoped the gesture would convey sympathy and understanding. It wasn’t as if she didn’t understand because she did, only too well. Willow knew first- hand what it felt like to love someone who didn’t love you back. She and unrequited love were old friends.

Willow stilled when she felt his hand on the side of her head, his fingers sliding slowly through her red hair before brushing it back from her face. Spike settled his head on her shoulder, his face turning into her neck.

Willow froze, hardly daring to breathe certain he was going to bite her, sink his fangs into her neck and drain the life from her.

“-Mmm,, that smell … .,” Spike murmured into her neck inhaling deeply. “I haven’t had a woman in weeks.”

A sudden bolt of adrenaline shot through her and Willow was on her feet spinning to face him her eyes wide and terrified, her heart hammering so hard against her rib cage she thought it might just escape. “I’ll do the spell for you, Spike but there’ll be no bottle in face and no having of any kind with me!”

His head tilted slightly his eyes almost challenging. “Won’t there now?”

“N…no!” Willow said firmly. “And I’m going to need stuff for the spell. A book for a start and… and ingredients…. Ingredients… and…”

Spike was on his feet now moving towards her slowly; stalking her, Willow realised as she stammered and backed away from him.

What to do? What to do? She had to do something! She could float a pretty mean pencil but there wasn’t a pencil in sight. She couldn’t immediately find a weapon of any kind either, and even if she did find one she was hardly going to be able to fight Spike. He was faster and stronger than she was and had decades of fighting experience. He had killed two slayers in his time! If they couldn’t defeat him what chance did she, a little high school apprentice witch stand?

Oh if only she knew some spells, something really useful that would render him immobile and give her the chance to take Xander and escape.

But all she was capable of doing was backing away from him and skirting around him as best she could.

Spike watched her with barely concealed amused interest. He could almost see her mind working as she tried to figure out just how she could attempt to fight him. Her fear filled the small space around him and Spike basked in it. She smelt so good, fear and panic and strawberries and he wanted a taste.

His fingers flexed at his side, she was a tasty little morsel this one. He wanted to get his hands on her, wanted to feel her squirming against him as he held her in his arms. He wanted to feel that pale milky skin beneath his lips, wanted to feel it split apart under the pressure of his fangs and taste her blood.

His tongue came out to swipe along his bottom lip in anticipation. She would be delicious Spike was sure of it. Who knew, maybe when he got going she’d like it and then there would be having, all kinds of wonderful having.

She moved to the right, her hand gripping the side of a table and sliding behind it, putting it between him and her; like it was going to do any good. But Spike was willing to indulge her, anticipation was half the fun after all.

“You wanna dance, love, we’ll dance.”

A look of confusion crossed her face and Spike chuckled quietly in response. “You’ll like my kinda dancin’ pet, get you all hot and bothered it will.”

Willow wasn’t entirely sure what he was talking about and didn’t have the inclination to work it out right now either. She had to keep her wits about her and find something to say to stop him prowling after her the way he was. Her calm was shot to pieces, the fine hairs on her arms and the back of her neck standing up to attention, and her nerves were stretched tighter than a tambourine.

It was catching sight of Xander out of the corner of her mind that had a calming effect on Willow’s racing mind. He was her best friend and he needed her help. Xander had experienced a hard blow to the head, he was bleeding and he had to go to hospital. She had to be calm, focused, in control for Xander’s sake.

Then it occurred to her, she did know a spell and a very useful one at that.

XxX

 

“Are you sure?” Cordelia Chase peered out of the passenger seat window of Oz’s van. She wrinkled her nose at the sight that met her eyes, broken down and boarded up buildings, burnt out cars and over flowing trash cans. “This is the bad side of town.”

“I know where we are,” Oz replied patiently. “And I’m telling you, I can smell Willow.”

Cordelia made another face. “That’s so creepy.”

“I completely agree,” Oz said. He knew how Cordelia Chase operated, she said the first thing that came into her head and hardly ever checked before it came out of her mouth. Cordelia’s first response was generally her honest response and Oz actually liked that about her, she was quite refreshing in an annoying kind of way.

“Do you smell Xander to?”

“Yeah, he’s here,” Oz said pulling the van to a stop beside a partially burnt warehouse.

“What would they be doing here?” Cordelia looked up at the building warily.

“I don’t know.” Oz switched off the engine and climbed out of the car. “But I think it’s safe to say that they didn’t come here of their own free will.”

Cordelia made another face. “Who would?” She got out of the van too and rounded the bonnet to stand beside Oz. He was quite small in stature and with her heels on Cordelia topped him by a good head. Absently smoothing out her hair Cordelia took a step forward. "We should start looking for a way in."

“Lets do it.”

That was another thing Oz liked about Cordelia, she had guts. Even when she was afraid she still went ahead and did things anyway. She was much more than a pretty face it was just that most people didn’t get to see the other side to her; the strong and brave side.

Oz led the way around the building searching for a door or a window. Rounding the corner he found a large metal door but it was chained and bolted from the outside. Just why that was Oz couldn’t say, he couldn’t see what would be in this building that required such protection. He bit the inside of his mouth a moment and hoped it wasn’t something illegal like stolen goods or drugs. He didn’t really fancy facing off with a gang of criminals, Willow for all he knew was on borrowed time which meant he didn’t have any to waste.

“Over here, Oz.” Cordelia waved him over to the furthest corner of the building. “There’s a fire escape maybe we can get in that way.”

The door at the top was open and Oz stepped through slowly. It was dim but not dark in the little corridor so Oz could see his way pretty well. Cordelia followed close behind him as he inched further into the building, Willow’s scent grew stronger as did Xander’s, but there was another, one he couldn’t identify but instantly disliked and distrusted. Oz was still getting to grips with the werewolf aspect of his life, there were new things to discover about himself all the time, some good, some bad, and one of the new things he was discovering was a sixth sense about people. It was definitely the wolf in him, wolves and dogs were part of the same family and everyone said that dogs could sense things about people and Oz had that in him too. There was something about this particular scent that made his hackles rise and the thought of Willow with the person it belonged to turned him both cold with dread and hot with anger.

“Can you smell them?” Cordelia hissed.

Oz merely nodded and led the way down the hallway, there was a door at the far end but nothing else in sight. He was halfway towards the door when he heard it, Willow’s voice raised in panic and fright speaking Latin words that tripped over each other she was in such a rush to get them out.

Something was wrong, something was very, very wrong Oz could feel it in his bones and he broke out into a run hurtling the rest of the way to the door and almost falling through it.

XxX

Spike was surprised when the little witch started speaking in Latin, he could only surmise that she was casting a spell and assumed it to be the love spell. He hadn’t realised that she was so accomplished at magic that she could do that without any aid whatsoever. He toyed with the idea of taking her with him when he left Sunnydale having his very own witch by his side would do wonders for his already well-established reputation. He really would be a formidable force with his very own witch.

His very own witch. The biggest of all the big bad’s with his very own witch. Spike really liked that idea.

The door above him suddenly crashed into the wall and Spike looked up in surprise. Two humans stood at the top of the stairs, bloody hell but he was off his game, he must have drunk too much not to even hear them coming in.

“You try to interfere and I’ll kill the boy!” Spike warned moving closer to the unconscious Xander.

Cordelia frowned down at Willow. “Does that spell sound familiar to you?”

“Sort of,” Oz admitted beginning to descend the stairs, just what he planned on doing he wasn’t too sure but he couldn’t leave Willow and Xander down there with Spike of all the demons in Sunnydale. Oz rather hoped that Spike might consider himself outnumbered and flee the scene, but he didn’t really consider it a viable option.

Oz was halfway down the rickety stair case when Willow’s voice rose as she completed the spell. A white light, so bright that Oz had to shield his eyes, shone from her until she looked as though she were glowing.

Agony, she was in absolute agony! Willow screamed and doubled over, sinking to her knees. Pain radiated from the centre of her body lancing through her to the roots of her hair and the tips of her toes. Tears ran down her cheeks and she wrapped her arms around herself as the pain intensified and she felt as though she were being ripped apart.

Spike felt it enter his body; magic. It hurt more than fire and holy water put together burning a trail through his entire body and forcing him to his knees. He was panting, harsh breaths that he didn’t need and his whole body was shaking with the intensity of a white hot pain like none he had felt before.

Somewhere off to the side she heard Spike yelling, cursing loudly and violently. From where she lay on her side curled into the foetal position Willow could see him on his hands and knees his face all ridges and fangs and yellow eyes as he howled in pain his body glowing with a white light.

She didn’t know what or how, but Willow did know that the spell had somehow gone very, terribly, horribly wrong.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

Chapter 2

 

Willow groaned, her eyelashes fluttering like butterfly wings. The first thing she saw was Xander’s face, his hair a mess, dried blood along his temple and his eyes dark with worry. The second thing she registered was Buffy’s face, blonde hair falling into clouded green eyes as she stared down anxiously at her best friend.

“Wills, you’re awake!” Xander exclaimed. “She’s awake!” he looked around him beaming.

“Oh God, Wills!” Buffy dragged her into a sitting position and hugged her tightly.

Still beaming Xander threw his arms about the two girls and joined in the hug. His best friend was alive, nothing could possibly be better than that.

“Um… guys… breathing.”

“Sorry,” Buffy relaxed her grip and took Willow’s hand instead squeezing her fingers gently. “You scared me, what with the unconsciousness and stuff. I like my Willow wide eyed and bushy tailed.”

“Well I’m wide eyed,” Willow said and let out a heavy sigh as she rubbed at her chest, the pain was gone but she remembered it vividly. “Not so sure about the bushy tailed.”

Oz got up, he had been sitting in a chair at the head of the table they had set Willow on. “Are you feeling alright?”

She turned to face him and smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Yeah, I’m alright. A little tired but okie dokie.” She held out her arms to him and Oz pulled her close, his hold loose, but safe and warm and comforting. Willow liked being held by Oz. “Oh, what happened to Spike?”

“Well, it’s nice to know that someone’s thinkin’ ‘bout me.”

Willow followed the voice and found Spike locked up in the book cage, Oz’s cage where he stayed when in wolf form to ensure he didn’t hurt anyone. When Oz was in the cage even when he was all wolf-Oz, the cage looked safe, it looked just likewhat it was:a cage. But with Spike leaning against the door his one arm stretched up over his head, long fingers lacing through the links and his duster falling open exposing his body pressed taunt against the door; it looked very, very unsafe, in fact it looked positively indecent.

“Shut it, Spike,” Angel glared at him from where he stood in the doorway to Giles office.

“Oh, the lap dog speaks,” Spike said mockingly.

“I’ll only warn you once, Spike.”

“Must be the soul, there was a time you wouldn’t warn at all,” Spike smirked as Angel flinched, his eyes darting to the Slayer.

Deciding the best thing for now was to ignore Spike, Giles came forward the arm of his glasses between his teeth. “Are you sure that you’re alright, Willow? From what Oz and Cordelia tell us you were casting a spell that seemed to cause you quite a lot of pain.”

Willow rubbed at her chest again and nodded as Oz helped her down off the table. “Yes, there was a lot of pain.”

“What kind of pain was it?”

“Probably the kind that hurts. That’s the kind of pain I had when the evil undead hit me over the head,” Xander said shooting an irate look at the caged Spike. Spike simply grinned back at him.

“Xander please,” Giles popped his glasses back on. “Willow, can you tell me what spell you were trying to cast, it might help with explaining why you and Spike were rendered unconscious as an after effect.”

Willow nodded. “I was um, well, it was Spike. I was locked in a basement with Spike. I was scared and I didn’t know what to do. I kept thinking that Buffy would come…”

“And I did,” Buffy interjected quickly. “I came to the rescue, only Oz and Cordelia sort of got there before me.”

Willow smiled. “I knew you’d come. You always save the day.”

Spike let out a breath and rolled his eyes.

“Oh sure, Buffy always saves the day. How about a little gratitude to the people who actually saved you,” Cordelia huffed from her chair across from Willow.

“Cordelia please,” Giles said.

“I was getting to that part,” Willow promised. “I am grateful that you came looking for us. Really.”

Oz smiled softly and patted her arm. “We know.”

“Well,” Spike sighed dramatically from the cage. “Isn’t this a slap and a tickle? You wanna get to the part where you explain just what you did to me, Red?”

Giles turned to look at him. “Do you feel any different?”

Spiked eyed him warily before replying. “Don’t feel exactly the same,” he admitted grudgingly.

He couldn’t say that he felt totally different, nor that the feeling was all that prominent, but there was definitely something different in him. At the moment he felt just fine, he felt like Spike. But when that pain had been slicing through his body and his insides had been scorching like nobody’s business Spike had felt something new, something fiercely hot in the centre of his body that had eventually sizzled down to a slow simmer and then disappeared. It had been a strange alien sensation, but at the same time sort of familiar.

Spike had a bad feeling; pain and burning could never be a good thing.

“Maybe what’s different is that you’re locked in a book cage,” Xander suggested hopping up onto the table and shoving a pile of books to the side.

“Back to Willow,” Giles said quickly in the hope of halting a pointless argument before it started. He knew only too well how quickly discussions could veer off onto a tangent.

“Um, where was I?” Willow looked to Oz for confirmation.

“You were busy praying for super Buffy,” Cordelia replied crossly.

“Oh yeah,” Willow exchanged an eye roll with Buffy. “Well, like I said, I was thinking that Buffy would come to save us, well, Buffy and Angel and then I thought, oh, hey, Angel!”

“As so many of us do,” Spike drawled from the cage.

Buffy’s lips pursed. “Why Angel?”

“I was thinking that I would never be able to fight Spike and I wished that I knew a good spell to use to stop him and get out of there and then I thought, Angel! I do know a spell that would help me and stop Spike. So I did the Restoration spell.”

“The what?!” Spike yelled, grasping the bars and shaking the door his eyes hot and violent. “You bloody bitch! You had no right to try and do that to me!”

“And you had no right to knock Xander out and kidnap them either,” Cordelia retorted. “So you can get down off your high horse.”

“I put up a fight.”

Cordelia looked up at Xander. “What?”

“I put up a fight,” Xander insisted. “He didn’t just knock me out, I put up a fight.”

“Such a stellar performance it was too,” Spike said with a flex of his fingers. “But can we get back to the important item on the itinerary; she tried to give me a soddin’ soul!”

“But I didn’t,” Willow pointed out. “I don’t know what I did, but I didn’t do what I tried to do.”

“So you cast the wrong spell?” Buffy looked from Willow to Giles. “Is that it?”

“It appears so,” Giles said leaning on the table and taking off his glasses again. “But what spell was cast, that’s the question.”

“Granted we only came in at the end but some of the words seemed familiar to me,” Oz said. “And Cordelia too.”

Cordelia nodded. “They really did. I said that to you, didn’t I?”

“Yes you did,” Oz agreed. “I think it was from the Restoration spell. Especially considering the effects of the spell.”

“You mean the light and the glowing,” Cordelia said.

“Exactly.” Oz couldn’t help scrutinising Willow, but he saw nothing different in her.

“Light and glowing?” Willow turned worried eyes towards Giles. She was afraid to look at Spike, she really didn’t want to see what she was sure would be a murderous expression on his face.

“Do you remember what you said, Willow? Do you remember the words?”

“Yes, I think so.”

“Hold on.” Giles raised a hand in the air and scurried into his office in search of a pencil and paper. The sound of rustling papers and drawers opening came to them and then Giles reappeared, pad and pencil in hand. He sat down at the table pencil poised. “Go ahead, Willow.”

Willow spoke slowly, haltingly as she recalled the Latin phrases she had spoken earlier that evening. She let her mind drift back to that moment of terror and desperation when all she wanted to do was stop Spike shadowing her every movement and take that hungry look out of his eyes.

She shot a sneaky glance at him out of the corner of her eye, he had changed position, he was still leaning against the cage door but now he was bent slightly at the waist, his forehead resting against the grating, and his arms also pressed against the confines of the cage above his head. He reminded her of a prisoner. She supposed that was exactly what he was at the moment and she wondered what Buffy intended to do with him.

Would they kill Spike? Willow found she didn’t much like that idea.

She watched him as he pushed away and thendug about in the pocket of his long black leather duster and produced a crumpled packet of cigarettes and a zippo lighter. Popping a cigarette between his lips his mouth twisting slightly to keep it steady he lit up and inhaled a lung full of smoke before returning to lean on the grating.

Spike listened intently but he could make no sense of the spell. The words themselves he was able to translate albeit slowly and even then he wasn’t entirely sure he had it right. He had learnt Latin as a boy but that was over a hundred years ago and Spike had found no need for Latin as the years went on.

 

Grudgingly he had to admire the fact that the witch was able to perform such a powerful spell as a soul restoration. The gypsies who had originally cursed Angelus were a powerful clan, gypsies could be that way. But she was only a girl and from what he could see had no-one to help guide her in the ways of magic. What she did she did on her own back and Spike had always admired people who got somewhere under their own steam.

“Where’s the original spell?” Giles gave a low groan. “It’s on that idiot box isn’t it?”

Willow’s lips twitched into a smile. “I’ll pull it up for you.”

“Would the spell even work without the Orb of Thesul-thingy?” Xander wondered. “Wasn’t the orb a big part of the spell? It was where the soul was kept before it went back into Angel, wasn’t it?”

“That’s a very valid point,” Giles agreed.

“Here’s the spell, Giles.” Willow sat back to let him get a closer look at the screen.

Giles spent a long time comparing the spell on the screen to the words on the paper. He muttered to himself and made little scribbles at the bottom of his page. Now and again he got up and rushed in and out of his office checking books and comparing what he found.

“Bloody hell, Watcher,” Spike took a drag of his cigarette. “You’re in and out of that office like a blue bottle with the runs.”

Giles stopped long enough to give Spike an infuriated look, but he didn’t favour him with a response.

“Giles, is there anything we can do?” Buffy pressed. “Any books we can read?”

“No, no,” Giles murmured his head bowed over a book.

Angel came closer to the table; he usually kept on the fringes of things when he came to the library unless he was specifically asked to help with any research. He always felt out of place when he was here with the whole lot of them. Somehow, seeing them all together, the love and affection between them, it made him feel more of a demon than he had in a long time, not counting the return of Angelus. They were worlds apart him and them, and he felt it when he was here watching them all together, he felt old, he felt like a demon.

He turned the writing pad slightly as he bent over Giles his lips moving silently as he read and translated the words. He wasn’t as quick with Latin verse as Spike was. “This here, this part,” he pointed at the end of the spell, tapping the paper with his index finger. “It doesn’t seem to fit in with the purpose of the spell.”

“That’s what I thought too,” Giles held a book up to Angel. “That’s the translation.”

Willow leant in closer and Spike stood up to attention, they could tell,as could the others, that Giles had found the answer and he didn’t look pleased about it.

“Giles?” Buffy prompted.

“That can’t be right,” Angel muttered glancing from the book to the writing pad. “Willow, are you sure this is what you said?”

“Yes,” she nodded her stomach twisting with anxiety.

The book fell from Angel’s hand landing on the table with a dull _thunk._ He had a look of utter dismay on his face. Giles looked simply horrified.

“Angel?” Buffy was getting frustrated. “Giles?”

Exasperated Xander ran a hand through his hair. “Will someone please explain?”

“What’s goin’ on over there, soul boy?” Spike demanded, rattling the door of the cage to get Angel’s attention.

“Giles?” Willow whispered. “What have I done?”

“Damn good question. What the bloody hell has she done? Oi! Am I invisible over ‘ere?” Enraged Spike kicked at the door to his prison.

“Giles?!” Buffy yanked on Giles arm. “What is it?”

“It appears,” Giles said slowly. “That the spell you cast, Willow wasn’t quite the Soul Restoration spell you used for Angel. If fact, it isn’t a restoration spell at all, the words in this section here,” he pointed wearily at the writing pad on the table. “They’re something completely different. They have a similar feel to them which may be how you came to mix things up, especially under the circumstances.”

He sighed, taking off his glasses he bowed his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. “What you have done, is spilt your own soul into two and given half of it to Spike.”

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 

“Say what now?” Spike could hardly believe what he was hearing. How was it even possible to split a soul in two? The Watcher had to be wrong; he didn’t have half a soul inside him, especially one that didn’t belong to him.

 

“Split her soul?” Buffy said slowly.

 

“He has…?” Xander pointed unnecessarily at Spike.

 

Spike frowned when all heads turned in his direction and they all just stood there staring at him wide eyed and slack jawed; like it was his fault that the witch was incompetent.

 

“Aren’t you glad you listened now and didn’t stake first and get the answers later?” Cordelia said with a pointed look at Buffy.

 

Buffy, who was perched on the edge of the table wiggled. “I’m the Slayer,” she said defensively. “It’s my job to slay vampires. Especially vampires who hurt my friends,” she added with an affectionate look at Willow.

 

“And yet somehow you didn’t think of that when Angelus was roaming around,” Cordelia retorted.

 

Angel’s eyes dropped to the ground. He couldn’t blame Cordelia for her words, they had all suffered when Angelus had returned. He didn’t expect any of them to forget what they had seen and endured, he wouldn’t forget himself, and he knew he didn’t really deserve a second chance and forgiveness, but they gave it anyway; because they loved Buffy.

 

Buffy flinched, she wanted to say something, to jump to Angel’s defence but she remained silent knowing in her heart that to say anything would just make things worse. Her friends would side with Cordelia if she got into an argument with them about Angelus and she couldn’t blame them. She even sided with Cordelia. There was no argument for Angelus. But Angel was not his soulless counterpart, he suffered enough having to deal with the memories of what he had done without the rest of them making it even more difficult for him.

 

She would remain silent for now and focus on Willow, but she made a mental note to bring this conversation up later, when Angel wasn’t around.

 

“We don’t need to drag all that up, Cordelia,” Giles said, the last thing he wanted to do was take a trip down that particular memory lane. “But yes, I will grant you that staking Spike on sight might have had less than a desirable outcome.”

 

“Less than desirable?” Spike griped from the cage. “That’s a fine way of puttin’ it.”

 

“Will you shut up!” Angel snapped. He could vent on Spike, that would be allowed and nobody would particularly care.

 

 

“Hey, I’ve got a bloody soul inside me thanks to that daft bint and it ain’t even mine. Get rid of it!” Spike demanded with a glare at Willow.

 

“I didn’t mean…”

 

“You gonna add lying to the ever growin’ list of charges against you, pet?” Spike asked snidely. “’Cause you did mean it, didn’t you?”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Spike remained quiet and still, he observed the young witch through the grating of his prison and strangely, he believed her.

 

“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

 

“Oh! Wills, don’t cry,” Buffy scrambled over the table and wrapped her arms about her best friend. “It’s not your fault, not really. We’ll find a way to fix it. We will.”

 

“Yeah, come on, Wills. No need to worry about it, the G-Man will sort it all out. You know what he’s like with the books and the research. Nobody can beat this guy at finding the answers,” Xander leant forward and grasped her hand.

 

“It’s all Spike’s fault anyway,” Cordelia said tartly. “If he hadn’t have kidnapped you then you would never have done the spell. You can’t blame yourself.”

 

Spike glared at her. It didn’t help matters that she was right. If he hadn’t have come back to Sunnydale then he would never have kidnapped the witch that did this to him.

 

“Now, now,” Giles soothed bringing a box of tissues from behind the counter and handing them to Willow. “I’m sure the situation isn’t as bad as we first thought.”

 

Willow looked up at him hopefully. “Really?”

 

“Well, um, it might take a little bit of time to find the solution but we always do, don’t we?” Giles forced a smile to his face relieved to see Willow’s lips tremble into a ghost of a smile in return.

 

“I know what will make it better,” Buffy released Willow and drew a stake from her pocket. She twirled it between her fingers her eyes latched onto Spike. “How about I just stake him and then the soul will depart his body and go home.”

 

“I like it,” Xander said.

 

“Buffy…” Angel placed a hand on her arm to keep her where she was.

 

“If you had let me stake him in the basement we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” Buffy said crossly. “But you and Oz wouldn’t let me do anything expect carry him back here. Okay, it made sense at the time not to stake him I admit that, we didn’t know what had happened to him or to Willow but now we know. Doesn’t it just make sense that if I kill him the soul will leave him and go back to Willow where it belongs?”

 

“No,” Giles said, pushing his glasses up his nose. “It doesn’t, Buffy.”

 

Spike tried not to show how relieved he was; not that he didn’t think he could take the Slayer or Angel, but he didn’t much feel like trying when he was stuck in a poxy cage with no wiggle room.

 

“It does to me,” Xander said as if that closed the argument.

 

Cordelia snorted. “Isn’t that a surprise. On no, wait, it isn’t. Instead of agreeing with Buffy all the time why don’t you try having an original thought for a change.”

 

Xander cut his eyes at her. “I’m having one now,” he said through grit teeth.

 

Cordelia simply rolled her eyes unconcerned.

 

“Giles is right,” Angel said ever the voice of reason, he wanted to keep Buffy as calm as possible. When it came to her friends being in danger or any type of bad situation Buffy had a tendency to act now and eliminate the threat and worry about the ramifications later. That was why Angel was glad she had Giles. Giles had a clear head and Buffy needed someone like that to guide her. “I don’t think that killing Spike is the way to go, Buffy. There’s no guarantee that his half of the soul will automatically go back to Willow, and if it doesn’t, then we don’t know where it’ll go or how to get it back.”

 

Willow glanced up at the ceiling. “I don’t like the idea of my soul just sort of floating about up there, Buff.”

 

Buffy made a face. “Neither do I.” She sighed and returned the stake to her pocket. “Fine, I won’t dust him ... yet,” she added giving Spike a warning look.

 

“You’re all heart, aren’t you, Slayer?”

 

Buffy ignored him and returned her attention to Willow. “We’ll figure it out,” she promised.

 

Oz had been silent so far. He wasn’t one to talk around in circles, if he had something to say then he said it. But he also knew that Willow understood that even if he didn’t speak it didn’t mean that he didn’t feel. He touched a hand lightly to the small of her back and gave her a warm, reassuring smile.

 

It seemed to do the trick where all the other promises had not. Willow smiled back and dabbed at her eyes, somehow Oz’s silence was much more encouraging, it told her that he just knew they would sort everything out without having to say it. Oz’s silence could be very heartening in a bad situation.

 

“Indeed we will,” Giles said firmly. “But it’s getting late and you all have school tomorrow. I think its best that we all get a good night’s sleep and start our research with fresh eyes in the morning.”

 

“Good idea.” Cordelia rose and gathered her things together. “All this rescuing your friends stuff is exhausting.”

 

“Do you need a ride home?” Oz offered.

 

“No thanks, I’ve got my car. Xander, are you coming with me?”

 

“Yeah,” Xander took up his back pack from beneath the table.

 

“Um, hello!” Spike shook the door of the cage. “Aren’t you forgettin’ somethin’? You can’t leave me in this cage all day, can you? How do you expect to explain that away to your little students? Besides,” he pointed across the room at the windows. “Sunlight.”

 

Buffy let out a heavy sigh. “He does have a point. What are we going to do with him?”

 

“Don’t worry about him,” Angel said crossing to the cage, taking great delight in the wary expression on Spike’s face as he unlocked the door. “He’s coming home with me where I can keep an eye on him.”

 

Angel opened the door and Spike stepped carefully out of the cage. As soon as Spike was free of the confines of his prison his right fist shot out and landed on Angel's jaw. Angel’s head was knocked back, he stumbled a few paces and Spike had a clear path to the door.

 

“Not bloody likely.” Spike darted past Angel and out of the library the doors swinging back and forth in his wake.

 

Angel bolted after him. Spike hadn’t got a very good head start, he was only a few steps ahead of him. Angel leapt. Spike rounded a corner and Angel … collided with the wall.

 

“Are you okay?” Buffy skidded to a halt beside Angel.

 

Angel grimaced. Not only had he mistimed that attack but it had been in front of Buffy too. Embarrassed he nodded and started after Spike again. “Fine.”

 

The front doors to the school were just swinging shut when Angel and Buffy came into the last corridor and Angel cursed under his breath. They burst through the doors together out into the fresh night air and scurried down the front steps.

 

Buffy couldn’t see Spike anywhere but Angel went forward a few steps before stopping. He pointed down the street where the houses started. “He just went over that fence into the back garden.”

 

“Then lets go,” Buffy started forward again but Angel’s hand on her elbow stopped her.

 

He shook his head. “You won’t catch him, Buffy. He’s gone.”

 

“But… we need to get him back!”

 

“We will,” Angel promised. “He’ll come to us, Buffy. Trust me.”

 

“How can you be so sure? He just ran off. That doesn’t look like someone who wants to be around us to me.”

 

“He’s got half a soul inside him, Buffy, and believe me that’s the last thing Spike wants. He’s going to start feeling the effects of it sooner or later and he’ll come running back faster than he ran away, trust me.”

 

Buffy smiled and nodded. “Of course I trust you, Angel.”

 

The double doors opened again as the others rushed out, various weapons in hand. “What happened?” Xander asked hopping down the steps towards them.

 

“Lost him,” Buffy said with a sigh. “Angel says that he’ll come back though.”

 

“Psychic now are we?” Xander asked.

 

“I know Spike and I know what it’s like to deal with the effects of a soul. Spike’ll come back. He’ll want the soul out of him as quickly as possible and back into Willow where it belongs.”

 

Willow bit her bottom lip her eyes straining into the darkness as though she could see the path that Spike had taken. “What if he doesn’t come back?”

 

“He will,” Xander said firmly. “We’ll get your soul back and glue it together again. I promise.”

 

Her eyes drifted to Angel, they latched onto his face swimming with unshed tears. “Didn’t you feel the soul straight away?”

 

“Not straight away,” Angel said “I couldn’t remember what had happened at first but after a minute or two, everything came back to me.”

 

“I thought so,” she started to cry again and was immediately flanked by Buffy and Oz. “It’s been more than a minute or two and Spike isn’t any different.” She leant into Oz’s shoulder for comfort.

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Buffy looked despairingly at Giles.

 

“He’s got part of my soul inside him, _my soul,_ and he’s just the same as he was before. Is there something wrong with me? Maybe I’m a bad person. Maybe deep down inside I’m evil?”

 

Buffy burst out laughing. “Sorry,” she pulled herself together and schooled her face into a more understanding expression. “Sorry, Wills, but you, evil? I don’t think so.”

 

“Me either,” Xander grinned and shook his head. “You couldn’t be evil if you tried. No way, no how.”

 

“They’re right,” Oz said softly. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

 

“But, Spike…” she gestured towards the empty street.

 

“Oh he’s plenty evil,” Xander said. The fact that the despairing look hadn’t departed from Willow and the impatient look Cordelia gave him told Xander that his words had not been as reassuring as he had expected them to be.

 

“Willow,” Angel spoke softly. “Spike’s behaviour has nothing to do with you as a person. You have to remember that I wasn’t just cursed with any old soul, it was mine. Spike hasn’t been cursed. He doesn’t have a complete soul, and what he does have doesn’t even belong to him. It’ll take a while for him to feel anything with half a soul, if he even feels anything at all. I expect that his experience will be different to mine. Whatever happens with Spike isn’t a reflection on you.”

 

He smiled gently. “You have to remember that Spike’s a demon first and foremost and that may override the existence of your soul in his body. You’re strong, Willow and that makes your soul strong too. I’ve seen and done enough evil in my time to know a genuinely good person when I see one.If Spike does feel something with your influence inside him he won’t like it, but even if it isn’t anything like what I went through when I got my soul back it doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person, Willow.”

 

“Angel’s right,” Giles said. “Spike’s situation is completely different to Angel’s, one has nothing to do with the other. We don’t know how severe of an effect of your soul will have upon Spike, but you mustn’t let it worry you, Willow. I’m sure Spike will be back as soon as he starts feeling even a minor discomfort.”

 

Angel nodded his agreement. “I know Spike, Willow. He’ll be back and we’ll figure out a way to reverse what’s happened.”

 

Willow sniffed and wiped at her tears with the back of her hand. She smiled shyly at Angel and nodded. “Thank you.”

 

“Come on,” Oz took her arm and led her down the steps. “I’ll take you home. You need a good night’s sleep, you’ve had a long night.”

 

“Hey, Buff, are you comin’?” Xander called, following Oz, Cordelia and Willow to the car park.

 

“You go on,” Angel said. “Be with Willow.”

 

“Thank you,” Buffy said.

 

Angel shrugged his large shoulders.

 

“Well, see you tomorrow, Giles.”

 

“Goodnight, Buffy …. Angel.” He went back into the school to close down the library and lock up for the night.

 

“Will you be by tomorrow for research?” Buffy asked.

 

“Yeah, I’ll be there. I owe Willow for putting my soul back, I’ll do all I can to help her.”

 

“Buff!” Xander yelled. “Come on!”

 

“Gotta go. ‘Night, Angel.”

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he bent over and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. “It’ll all be okay.”

 

She nodded and smiled at him before bounding off across the grass to where Xander was waiting by Oz’s van with the door open for her.

 

XxX

 

Willow waved goodbye as Oz’s van pulled away from the curb in front of her house. She had refused all offers from both Oz and Buffy at accompanying her into the house and Buffy’s offer to spend the night if she felt she wanted company, in the most polite way possible, but Willow didn’t feel like company right now. She had brought herself under control and felt a little silly about her earlier tears and as much as she loved both Buffy and Oz, Willow really didn’t want either of them hovering over her, watching her and waiting for her to break down again.

 

They would want to talk about what had happened and offer support and sympathy and reassurance, but Willow didn’t want it. She didn’t want to hear them telling her that everything would be fine and dandy because they didn’t know that it would be.

 

Willow felt that she could really do without it all tonight; her head was spinning enough as it was.

 

She went through her nightly ritual and changed into her Snoopy pyjamas, they reminded her of Christmas time with Xander and brought a sense of peace to her troubled mind, at least for a few minutes.

 

Fingers running along the closed lid of her lap top, Willow considered firing it up and doing her own research, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. If there was going to be bad news she wanted to face it with Oz and her friends around her, not alone in her bedroom in the middle of the night.

 

A knock at her French windows made Willow jump. Letting out a disgruntled sigh figuring it was probably Buffy refusing to take no for an answer, Willow crossed the room to open the windows for her friend. “I’m fine, really,” she said as her fingers closed over the curtains.

 

“Well I’m not,” came the annoyed reply.

 

Willow started. A small squeak of surprise leaving her lips as her heart picked up speed. Slowly pulling the curtains back she stared at Spike who stood on the other side of the glass glaring at her.

 

“Open up,” he demanded.

 

“How… how did you know where I lived?”

 

“Made it my business to know where you all lived when I was around before. Lesson number one in survival, know your enemy, love. Now, open up.”

 

She touched the lock with light uncertain fingers. Opening the window wouldn’t hurt, he couldn’t get in unless she invited him and it did seem rather rude to conduct a conversation with him through the glass.

 

What else could possibly go wrong in one night? And on that note, Willow opened the windows and took a step back. “I’m not going to invite you in.”

 

“Didn’t think you would. ‘M happy out here. Just a bit more sociable with the window open, don’t you think?”

 

Her brow furrowed, a look of distrust crossing her face. “What are you doing here? You know as much as I do, I can’t tell you anything else until we start researching properly tomorrow. You’re welcome to help.”

 

“Am I really?” he asked dryly. “Doesn’t that make me feel all special and good.”

 

Willow sighed and folded her arms across her chest. “I just thought that the more people we have researching the quicker we’ll come up with an answer. I’m sorry,” she said in a soft whisper.

 

Spike pursed his lips in annoyance. Tears, just what he needed from her. He was the victim here not her. He was the one who’d had a soul, albeit half a soul, forced on him. “You’re messin’ with things you don’t understand, Red. Always a consequence for that.”

 

“I know. I didn’t mean….”

 

“Oh I know you didn’t mean to give me half your soul, you meant to give me my own, didn’t you? Brought back all shiny new from the ether just for me. Well screw you, witch. Who gave you the right to make that kind of decision?”

 

“You were scaring me!” Willow snapped. “I thought you were going to kill me and Xander. I was trying to protect us. Magic is all that I have. And,” she added, her mouth dipping down at the corners. “I can’t even do that right.”

Spike remembered the scent of her fear, how it had tickled his nose and curled deliciously through his body to be savoured. Fear was absent from her right now, but Spike didn’t take it to heart, he didn’t take it as a slur upon his demon. He was safely behind the supernatural barrier that prevented him entering any dwelling place until specifically invited, no reason why she should fear him at this particular moment in time.

 

There was a lot of misery pouring from her though; despair, anguish, guilt, it wasn’t as good as her fear but it was close enough. Usually he would have enjoyed every moment, but he found he felt a little bit sorry for her. She no more wanted him to have part of her soul than he did. Although, considering the alternative Spike felt he had gotten off light.

 

“Oh I don’t know, pretty powerful magic involved with souls. You gave Angel his back, didn’t you, and you managed to split yours in two without even tryin’. Can’t be all that bad with the mojo, pet.”

 

To say she was surprised to receive encouragement and some form of sympathy from Spike was an understatement. Willow wasn’t sure what to do with it.

 

“For what it’s worth, you’re right. I had no right to try and put your soul back without your permission. Forcing somebody to accept something against their will is wrong. I was wrong. I’m sorry, Spike.”

 

Spike’s nod was slow. “Well, now that you’ve seen the error of your ways, what do you plan on doin’ to fix it?”

 

“We’re going to look for a way to get my soul out of you and back into me. And I promise that I won’t give you your own soul back. How’s that?”

 

“It’ll do,” Spike agreed. “For a start.”

 

Willow blinked. “A start?”

 

“Seems to me that you’ve got some makin’ up to do, love. Considerin’ all the inconvenience you’re gonna cause me. Not to mention the unendin’ misery an’ boredom I’m gonna ‘ave to endure livin’ with the poof.”

 

“Who?”

 

“Angel.”

 

“You’re going to stay with Angel?” she asked surprised.

 

“Gotta stay somewhere, don’t I? Besides, I like that place and I’ll get first hand updates on your progress.” A sudden grin split his face. “And it’ll annoy Angel.”

 

“I suppose that’s the crowning glory,” she said with a little smile.

 

“You suppose right.” He patted down his pockets and produced his packet of cigarettes and a lighter. Cigarette lit, he took a deep drag and replaced the lighter and pack in his pocket. “What else you got for me?”

 

An angry flush coloured her cheeks. “What else? Nothing else! Considering everything you’ve done to us I don’t owe you a thing. Besides, Cordelia was right, if you hadn’t kidnapped me in the first place we wouldn’t be in this situation. Maybe it’s about time you accepted some responsibility for your part in all this.”

 

Taking the cigarette between his fingers Spike raised his arms above his head, planting his hands on the barrier that kept him out, and leant as close to her as he could. “Quite the little spit fire behind the magic wall, aren’t you, love?”

 

Willow was tempted to invite him in just to see him fall flat on his face, but she curbed the impulse. She took a deep, steadying breath. “I’ll do all I can to fix this, Spike, and I give you my word not to put your soul back, _but_ that’s all you’re getting.”

 

His lips curled into a half smile, half smirk, blue eyes dancing with mischief. Something in her gut kicked in response and Willow’s hands flew to her stomach, pressing down as if she could physically force the reaction away.

 

“That right?” His eyes swept over her in one long movement. “Still no having then?”

 

She flushed and averted her eyes from his face. Just why he felt it necessary to bring that up Willow wasn’t sure, but it made her uncomfortable, she wasn’t used to handsome men teasing her like that and was uncertain as to how she should or even wanted to react. It would be nice to be confident enough to flirt back the way Cordelia would or tease the way Faith would, but that wasn’t in her nature. Willow had often lamented that about herself. It would be nice to be a little more self-assured.

 

“Spike,” she sighed heavily, “it’s late, I’m going to bed.”

 

“You haven’t invited me in yet,” his eyebrow lifted suggestively.

 

Willow blushed again wishing she could stop herself doing that. She had the sneaking suspicion that Spike enjoyed that about her, enjoyed making her squirm. It made her cross both with him and with herself.

 

“Shouldn’t you be heading to Angel’s?”

 

“Got some time before I need to head inside.”

 

She looked at him now quite curious as to what an evil vampire like Spike got up to during the pre-dawn hours. “What will you do?”

 

Spike rolled his shoulders in a shrug. “Get drunk. Go huntin’. Play some poker. Night’s still young yet and full of possibilities for a demon like me whose filled with wicked intentions.”

 

He touched the tip of his tongue to his upper lip and a shiver ran down her spine. Willow couldn’t quite work out if it was the good or bad kind of shiver.

 

“I’ll be seein’ you, pet. Sweet dreams.”

 

And then he was gone, melting away into the night.

 

Willow blinked staring out across her back garden searching for him, but so far as she could tell Spike had really left.

 

With a shrug and a little sigh she began to draw the curtains. “Goodnight, Spike,” she whispered, it was only polite; he had wished her sweet dreams after all.

 

She climbed into bed and settled down feeling exhausted. She hoped they’d find a way to reverse the soul split thing and soon. It occurred to her that she could talk to Amy tomorrow, she was a witch as was her mother before her, she might have some ideas.

 

That decided Willow snuggled down under her blankets, however it took a while for sleep to come to her, for hovering at the edge of her subconscious, refusing to budge, was Spike.

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

Chapter 4

 

 

Crawford Street was quiet, its occupants sleeping the deep sleep of the carefree. They had no real clue as to what went on around them in the shadows of their town and Angel felt he would like to feel like that just once.

 

He climbed into bed and settled back against the pillows, he needed his rest; the next few days would be gruelling both mentally and emotionally. Possibly even physically if Spike continued to play hide and seek with him.

 

He pushed Spike from his mind determined not to think or worry about him until the following evening when he would wake up rested and refreshed and ready for research.

 

Angel basked in the silence of the street drifting away, drifting, drifting….

 

“Honey! I’m home!”

 

Angel jerked upright and grit his teeth. “Spike.”

 

Climbing out of bed he yanked open the bedroom door and stormed along the landing. His bare feet made a slapping sound on the cold marble of the stair case as he descended into the rooms below. He found Spike in the living room swaying on his feet with a whisky bottle dangling from his fingers.

 

“You’re drunk,” Angel accused, although why he bothered to say anything was beyond him. Spike’s intoxicated state was evident.

 

Holding up his thumb and index finger about an inch apart Spike said, “Little bit.”

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

Spike snorted. “You gettin’ senile in your old age or what? You invited me, remember? Said I had to come home with you, you did. Remember? Gotta say, not lovin’ the hospitality so far, mate. Least you could ‘ave done is put on a spread.”

 

“Put on a….” Angel grit his teeth again his fingers curling into fists at his side. “Where have you been?” Angel was aware that he sounded as though he were scolding an errant child, but Spike just brought it out in him; all the anger, the frustration the annoyance he felt on a day to day basis Spike brought it all to the surface even when those feelings had nothing to do with Spike at all.

 

“Been to see the witch,” Spike staggered forward tilting the bottle to his lips and gulping down the last mouthful.

 

“Willow? You’ve been to Willow’s?” Angel strode forward a menacing look on his face. “I swear, Spike if you’ve….”  

 

“No havin’,” Spike said sadly and Angel stopped short. “No havin’.”

 

“Having?” Angel was confused and it showed.

 

“Not bad enough,” Spike moaned softly. “Not demon enough.”

 

Angel’s forehead wrinkled. “What?”

 

“Not good enough. Not man enough,” Spike turned pitiful eyes to Angel. “Why aren’t I good enough?”

 

Angel was astounded. He genuinely thought that Spike was about to burst into tears and he had no idea what to do to handle a crying Spike. He’d never seen Spike shed a tear before and Angelus had given him enough reason to over the years. “Good enough for what?”

 

“Anybody,” Spike turned away and wandered around in a circle for a moment. “Never the one.”

 

“The one what?” Angel sank down on the arm of a nearby chair watching Spike warily.

 

“The one!” Spike yelled spinning around and throwing the empty bottle violently against the wall. “Never the one, always rejected I am. Not wanted. Not needed. Always alone. No-one cares.”

 

Angel let out a heavy sigh and rubbed at his forehead. He had seen Spike drunk before, too many times to count, and he was guaranteed to go one of two ways; he either turned sappy or violent, there was never a happy medium. He hadn’t known Spike to be self-pitying before and he honestly had no idea what to say to him, they were hardly friends in spite of their long history together.

 

“No havin’,” Spike said, his mouth turning down at the corners. “’bout right that, ain’t it? Never ‘ave do I?”

 

“What’s all this “having” you keep talking about?”

 

“Never ‘ave anything. Not what I want anyway. Never the one, always second best.”

 

Angel closed his eyes striving for patience. “It’s late, Spike and your drunk and not making any sense at all. I’m tired,” he stood up and headed towards the door. “I have no intention of sitting around here all night listening to you whine like a little girl, I’m going to…” he trailed off and spun round to face Spike his jaw dropping open in shock.

 

Spike was still standing and swaying on the spot watching him with wet eyes, although he hadn’t started crying.

 

“This isn’t you,” Angel said a thoughtful look crossing his face.

 

“So little,” Spike said holding out cupped hands towards Angel.

 

“I… what?” Angel edged closer to peer into Spike’s palms but he didn’t see anything.

 

“Little and soft and fluffy.”

 

Angel shook his head despairingly and decided to just give up and let Spike talk. “What are?”

 

“Kittens!” Spike’s voice rose impatiently.

 

“You’ll have to forgive me for not leaping to that conclusion, Spike. Especially since you don’t even have a kitten with you.”

 

“Little balls of fluff,” Spike said with a nod of his head for emphasis.

 

“Yeah,” Angel agreed. “They are.”

 

Spike nodded. “You gotta go there, you gotta help ‘em.”

 

“Help who?” Angel was instantly alert. “Go where, Spike?”

 

“Go an’ help ‘em. Gonna eat ‘em they are.”

 

“Spike! Make sense! If someone’s in trouble you need to tell me and quickly. Who do I need to help?”

 

“The kittens!” Spike yelled exasperated. “Don’t you listen?”

 

Angel groaned and held his head in his hands for a minute willing himself not to knock Spike out just for some peace and quiet. “You’ve been to Willy’s, haven’t you?”

 

“Yeah,” Spike agreed, he looked suddenly happier. “’ad a drink I did. Met some demons and got offered a game. Was gonna play cards but then…”

 

Angel’s lips twitched with amusement. “Then you saw the kittens?”

 

“Yeah,” Spike deflated again. “They were playin’ for kittens.”

 

“I know, Spike.”

 

“They’re so…”

 

“Little and soft and fluffy,” Angel guessed.

 

“Yeah,” Spike agreed. He pointed at the door, “Go save ‘em.”

 

“I will,” Angel promised. “I just need to put you to bed first so you can sleep it all off.” He took Spike’s arm and guided him to the sofa. “I’m not carrying you upstairs, you’ll be safe enough here.”

 

There was no direct sunlight in the living room and the sofa was as good a place as any for Spike to sleep. Angel didn’t fancy breaking his neck trying to get Spike up the stairs.

 

Spike toppled onto the sofa and Angel swung his legs up. He debated whether or not to remove Spike’s boots but decided against it, Spike had slept in them before and Angel didn’t trust Spike not to kick him in the face or something.

 

He gave Spike a shove to move him away from the edge of the sofa and Spike squirmed pulling his coat closer about him. “No having,” he mumbled his eyes closed he batted at Angel’s hands. “No havin’.” His lips curled into a slow smile. “We’ll see.”

 

Angel stared at Spike for moment before shaking his head and heading back upstairs. If he wasn’t mistaken he had just seen the first side effect of Willow’s soul.

 

XxX

 

When Spike woke hours later it was dark out, the sun hadn’t long set if his body clock was anything to go by. Sitting up gingerly he gave a low groan and cradled his head in his hands.

 

Slowly he got to his feet and glanced around. He didn’t quite remember getting here but it made sense seeming as he had nowhere else to go. Angel was nowhere in sight and Spike wondered where he was.

 

“Bit of hair of the dog.” Spike looked around but couldn’t see a decanter or any bottles so he left the living room in search of a drink. He wandered into the study to find Angel sitting in a chair with a small brown chest open at his feet and a piece of parchment in his hand.

 

Angel didn’t look up as he entered and Spike stood in the doorway watching him in silence for a few minutes.

 

“You got any liquor ‘round ‘ere?” Spike didn’t really expect an answer and was surprised when Angel made a vague gesture towards a cabinet in the corner.

 

Spike made a face at the cabinet, he had the sinking feeling that the only thing he’d find in there was cheap liquor, Angel had such a martyr complex that he probably thought enjoying a nice glass of whisky would damn his lovely pure soul to the deepest pits of hell. He was pleasantly surprised when he opened up the cabinet and rooted through the bottles on offer; Angel had actually sprung for the good stuff.

 

He didn’t bother to use a glass he just opened the bottle of whisky and drank over the top. “Whatcha readin’?”

 

“Rescue mission.”

 

“Huh?” Spike came closer interested in spite of himself.

 

“Yeah, gives me all the instructions I need on how to rescue kittens from a poker game.”

 

Spike scowled and took another drink of whisky. He wasn’t going to live that down in hurry. “What the bloody hell was that anyway? It’s not as if I ‘aven’t played kitten poker before an’ right now I don’t give a damn about it one way or the other.”

 

The amusement left Angel’s face and he looked directly at Spike for the first time. “I think it’s the soul.”

 

“Did it happen to you?” Spike was genuinely interested, he’d spent some time at Willy’s the previous evening contemplating just what it would mean for him having half of Willow’s soul inside him. That’s what had started the heavy drinking, the possibility that he would end up brooding and miserable like Angel.

 

“No. It was different for me. You’ve had it easy so far, no guilt, no pain, no misery, your not haunted by faces you had half-forgotten existed, at least they did until you ended that existence.”

 

Spike remained silent after this admission taking occasional swigs from the bottle. Getting all upset over kittens didn’t seem half as bad in comparison to that kind of emotional turmoil. His outburst had been embarrassing and Spike couldn’t say that it wasn’t, but what got him the most wasn’t the fuss he’d made about the kittens, it was opening himself up like that in front of Angel.

 

It was bad enough that Angelus had known his weaknesses and exploited them mercilessly to rule and humiliate him, but having Angel know the true depths of his weaknesses was just too much. After all, what did Angel know about rejection, the women in his life always wanted him, Darla, Drusilla, the Slayer; neither Angel nor Angelus had ever been second best to anyone.

 

“What’s all this stuff anyway?” Spike tapped the chest with the toe of his boot.

 

Angel sat up a little straighter. “Over the years I’ve collected as much information as I could get my hands on about souls. It’s not as vast as it looks, a lot of it is repetitive and I don’t remember reading anything about splitting a soul in two, but then, I wasn’t looking for that kind of information so it could have slipped by me. I was just combing through it all until the sun set and I could go to the school.”

 

“You find anythin’ helpful?”

 

“No,” Angel admitted. He dropped the piece of parchment he had been reading back into the chest and closed the lid. “I’ll take it with me tonight, Giles might be able to do something with it.”

 

“The witch said they’d all be researchin’ tonight.”

 

“Its what they do.” Angel got up and lifted the chest into his arms. “Are you going to put yourself out and help?”

 

“I could come along,” Spike replied evenly, he was unwilling to commit himself one way or the other until he saw how things were going to pan out.

 

“Try not to be a pain in the ass,” Angel warned. “Remember, they’re trying to help you.”

 

“Help the witch you mean.”

 

“It amounts to the same thing at the moment.” Angel rested the chest on small table when he put on his coat before tucking it back under his arm. “Are you taking that bottle with you?”

 

“I am,” Spike replied, almost challenging Angel to argue with him.

 

Angel didn’t, he couldn’t be bothered with Spike and his nonsense right now. Instead he led the way out of the house rolling his eyes in annoyance at Spike’s dragging feet behind him.

 

They were all in the library as Angel had expected by the time he and Spike arrived. There was a pink box open on the table filled with crumbs and blobs of jelly and empty cans and bottles and packets of crisps littered about telling him they had been there for a while.

 

Buffy looked up as they entered her face lighting up at the sight of him. “You made it.” She stood up putting down the book she had been reading. “What’s that?”

 

“Some stuff I’ve collected on souls. I couldn’t find anything useful but I thought Giles might like to look through it anyway,” Angel placed the small chest on top of the counter.

 

Giles came out of his office polishing his glasses on the hem of his jumper. “Yes, I certainly would.” He came over to open the chest and root around the parchment. “There might be something in here I can cross reference.”

 

Cordelia sighed and tossed a book onto a pile at the end of the table. “Nothing in that one. What’s next?”

 

“Try this one,” Xander handed her a small leather bound book, he was sitting stretched out in his chair a large book propped up on his stomach and a chocolate bar in his hand. “Tell me again just what it is that we’re looking for?”

 

“Anything,” Oz said from beside him, he was pouring over a large decrepit looking book and cross referencing with a smaller one his brow furrowed in concentration.

 

“Any luck?” Angel asked taking off his coat and tossing it over the counter.

 

“Tons,” Cordelia piped up. “If we were looking for things that don’t help us in the slightest.”

 

Buffy glared at her. “It’s a process of elimination, right, Giles?”

 

“Quite,” Giles agreed. “As we don’t know exactly what will help in this situation we have to look at it from all angles and therefore there’s no such thing as a failure. All information helps.”

 

“Except when it doesn’t,” Cordelia retorted. “Look at those,” she pointed to a tall pile of books. “We’ve been through each page in every book and nothing.”

 

Spike took a deep gulp of whiskey, he was now officially depressed. Crossing the room he sank down in the chair vacated by the Slayer and looked at Willow who was sitting next to him. She had her lap top open but she didn’t appear to be doing much with it except staring at the screen.

 

Willow’s moods had been fluctuating all day. For the first time since she could remember she had woken that morning hardly bothered at all as to whether she went to school or not. She liked school, Willow wouldn’t go as far as to say that she loved it, but she did enjoy school. There was structure and routine and familiarity in the school system and she enjoyed learning; that didn’t mean that she didn’t have days like everyone else when her last class seemed to drag on into eternity or a teacher or another student was particularly mean for no apparent reason, but on the whole, she liked school in spite of not being popular.

 

Her feet had dragged on the steps this morning, it was such a lovely day and the last thing Willow felt like doing was spending it in school. She had found her mind wandering to Faith, wondering what she got up to all day without school commitments. It would be nice, Willow had reflected, to go out and do whatever she wanted to do and not worry about anything or anyone.

 

Her mood had picked up in her first class, computer science. Willow loved computers, she was in her element in this particular class and she began to feel more like herself as the lesson wore on.

 

It had been in her third lesson of the day, history class, that her mind had begun to wander again and her eyes and turned longingly to the window. Willow had found herself wishing that she was outside in the world doing something fun rather than sitting in a stuffy classroom listening to her teacher droning on and on about stuff that he had read in a text book. She could read a text book, she hardly needed a teacher to tell her about history when she could read it for herself.

 

Spike had popped into her head then. He could probably tell her loads about history after all, he had lived it! That was pretty exciting, to have lived in history, experienced things other people could only read about. Spike had seen history come alive and Willow would bet her bottom dollar that Spike would make it sound much more interesting than her teacher did.

 

Spike must find them all pretty boring considering the life he had led. The thought depressed Willow. She was boring; all she did was school work and take a trip to The Bronze a couple of nights a week, if she didn’t have too much homework to do or any research to help Giles with.

 

By the time school had ended Willow’s depressing thoughts had vanished and she had parted company with Buffy and Xander as chipper as ever. She was disappointed that she hadn’t had the opportunity to talk to Amy today but she was off school sick. Still, it wasn’t the end of the world, she could talk to Amy tomorrow, she understood from Amy’s friends that she had a bug and thought it might be one of those twenty four hour things.

 

Those niggling depressing thoughts were back again now, Willow watched everyone researching diligently and while she knew they were doing it to help her, she really couldn’t be bothered with it. She had perked up a bit when Spike and Angel had come through the door, especially when she had caught sight of the chest Angel held, rather hoping he had the answers and they could stop researching and do something fun; it had not turned out that way.

 

She heaved a little sigh and frowned down at her hand as Oz reached out and patted it lightly. Pulling her hand away she turned to Spike. “Where did you go last night after you left my house?”

 

“He was at your house?” Xander’s head shot up. “What was he doing at your house? You didn’t invite him in did you?”

 

Willow frowned again. “Of course I didn’t, and he came to talk to me.”

 

“About what?”

 

“None of your business,” Spike snapped.

 

When it became clear that Willow wasn’t going to provide any further information Xander slipped a piece of paper into the book to mark his page and stood up. “Time for a doughnut run, who wants what?”

 

There was a flurry of movement as the others gave Xander their orders and dug about in bags and pockets for money.

 

Willow again turned to Spike. “So, where did you go?”

 

“Willy’s.” Spike’s eyes swivelled to Angel, incensed with the amusement he saw in the other vampire’s face.

 

Willow nodded, she should have expected that. There probably wasn’t anywhere else he could go. She wondered if Spike had felt differently today, he didn’t look guilt ridden and full or remorse and Willow’s doubts as to the purity of her soul began to surface again.

 

“Giles, can I have a word?” Angel asked tentatively. It was awkward dealing with Giles at the best of times, he hadn’t tried to do it on a one to one basis since his return. Angel knew that Giles hated him, could hardly bear the sight of him, and yet he could, for the most, part remain civil towards him. Angel had to admire that, Giles had a quiet dignity about him that Angel envied.

 

“Um… yes of course.” Something told him that this was a private matter and Giles curiosity was roused. He didn’t have any dealings with Angel if he could help it, not since Angelus had murdered his beloved Jenny. It haunted him still, the image of Jenny Calendar laying on his bed her lovely face, her beautiful eyes darkened with death, and it would continue to haunt him for the rest of his days.

 

His own time in the clutches of Angelus paled in comparison to the moment he walked into his bedroom with music playing setting the scene for romance and seduction only for the night of passion he had anticipated to turn into a living nightmare. Giles would willingly go back to that chair he had been bound to with thick rope that cut into his skin and suffer through the physical torture of Angelus as he towered over him demanding information about Acathala if it would bring Jenny back even for the most fleeting of moments.

 

Giles motioned towards the office and led the way inside with Angel following him and Buffy bringing up the rear. Angel surprised Giles further by stopping in the doorway and shaking his head at Buffy. “It’s private, Buffy. Sorry.”

 

Buffy flinched and Angel could tell by her expression that she was both surprised and hurt that he was excluding her.

 

“Oh… okay, I’ll just…” she waved towards the table.

 

“It won’t take long,” he assured her.

 

Buffy stared up at him for a long moment as though she would see the answers written on his face, but she remained clueless as to what private matter Angel could possibly want to talk to Giles about. Shrugging, she turned away and took a seat next to Cordelia.

 

Spike watched the exchange from beneath his lashes. It was obvious to him that the Slayer wasn’t used to being excluded and she didn’t like it. Although whether she didn’t like it because she wanted to know what was going on or whether she didn’t like it because it was something Angel was involved in that she was not a part of, Spike couldn’t quite make out.

 

Willow huffing beside him drew his attention away from the pouty Slayer and the cryptic wanker. “Problem, love?”

 

“All out,” she said putting an empty can of soda back on the table. “I’m going to get a drink.”

 

Spike slugged back some whisky. “I’ll go with you.”

“Oh no you don’t,” Buffy said her eyes darkening with suspicion. “You aren’t going anywhere on your own with Willow.”

 

“Just what do you think I’m gonna do, Slayer? Sell her to passin’ gypsies?”

 

“I don’t trust you,” Buffy said. “You can either stay here or I’ll go with you.”

 

“It’s alright, Buffy,” Willow got to her feet and pushed the chair back. “I’ll only be five minutes. Do you want anything?”

 

“What she wants she ain’t gonna get,” Spike said his eyes moving pointedly to the closed door of Giles office. He had the satisfaction of seeing the Slayer’s face tighten into hard lines before he turned away tipping the bottle to his lips again and accompanied Willow from the room.

 

“You been sufferin’ any side effects?” Spike demanded as soon as they were free and clear from the library.

 

“Not that I’ve noticed,” Willow admitted. “Have you?”

 

“Oh yeah,” Spike muttered darkly.

 

“Well?”

 

Spike cleared his throat and twisted the bottle between his fingers. “Got upset last night,” he said, his face sullen.

 

“Upset? About what?”

 

“Kitten poker.”

 

Willow looked confused. “What the heck is kitten poker?”

 

“Poker, but you play for kittens instead of cash.”

 

“Well, you’ve got to play for something, or why play?”

 

Spike almost choked on his mouthful of whisky. Really he was only taking little sips now and again, he had brought the bottle purely to annoy Angel. “Come again, Red?”

 

“You need something to play for, don’t you?”

 

“You do realise that the demons plan on eating the kittens, right?”

 

Her face fell. “They do? That’s awful, Spike!”

 

“Just what I said.”

 

“But… you know, kittens. They’re so small, they don’t do anyone any harm they’re just little balls of fluff.”

 

“That’s exactly what I said!” Spike exclaimed. “Angel was right.”

 

“About what?”

 

“He said that it was an effect of your soul inside me,” Spike groaned. “I’ve got your bloody compassion.”

 

Willow beamed. “Oh good!”

 

“What?” he glared at her, his eyes narrowed and heated.

 

“I was worried because last night you didn’t seem any different at all and, well, I thought that, you know, maybe there was something wrong with me, with my soul.”

 

Spike chuckled. “Doubt there’s much wrong with your soul, Red.”

 

“You can’t know that for certain. It’s my soul and I don’t even know. Well, partly your soul too now I guess.”

 

“I know,” Spike said firmly. “I’ve been without a soul and surrounded by darkness and evil for the last century and when you live like that, when you spend your life sinning in the most horribly wonderful ways you can think of when you see goodness you know it; it calls to you in a way ‘cos all you wanna do is corrupt it and bring it over to the shadows. You do what you do, helpin’ the Slayer an’ all ‘cos it’s the right thing to do, not many people do the right thing, pet even when they want to, trust me on that. You stand by the Slayer, you’ve become part of a fight that isn’t yours an’ yet you stay, you put your life on the line to help people with no more clue as to what’s goin’ on around ‘em than the man in the moon, as me old mum used to say. You do it ‘cos you feel it’s the right thing, you do it ‘cos you want to even though it could mean your untimely end. That’s the good in you, pet, that’s true goodness; to do something completely unselfish the way you do; and it’s still in you, no need to worry ‘bout that.”

 

“Even now when I only have half a soul?”

 

She was looking at him with so much hope in her eyes that Spike couldn’t find it in him to disappoint her. “Even now.”

 

He probably wasn’t that far off anyway, people like her had goodness running through their veins, the soul she had was still hers, a part of who she was and she was a good person; half a soul couldn’t make that much of a difference.

 

“So, where are you goin’ to get a drink?” They were stood in the corridor and it didn’t look as though she had any intention of moving any time soon.

 

“The lounge's just down here, don’t you remember the lay out of the school?”

 

“Not really, last time I was ‘ere I was just lookin’ to kill the Slayer,” Spike said, glad to find that he was completely unrepentant about it. Perhaps it had been the alcohol that had him behaving like a total prat the previous evening, he had been hammered after all.

 

“Makes sense,” Willow said.

 

“Not gonna give me a hard time ‘bout it?” Spike asked surprised.

 

Willow shook her head. “Why should I give you a hard time for being who and what you are?”

 

“Other’s would is all. You aren’t afraid of me,” Spike noted. “Last night you were.”

 

“I just figured that a smart guy like you wouldn’t want to kill me until you knew for sure what would happen to you and your half of my soul. You wouldn’t want to run the risk of getting all my soul, would you?”

 

“No I bloody well wouldn’t!”

 

She entered the canteen and dug about in her pocket for some change when she reached the vending machine. Running a finger lightly back and forth across the buttons Willow tried to decide just what she fancied to drink.

 

“There’s always my option,” Spike said holding out the bottle by the neck and wiggling it her.

 

Willow considered the bottle, she made no move to take it but she didn’t reject the idea out of hand either.

 

“You drink much, pet?”

 

“Not at all,” she admitted. “It helps to keep a clear head when you’re patrolling, especially if you don’t have super Slayer powers.”

 

“Very sensible,” Spike agreed. “I’ll just keep this for meself then.”

 

Willow frowned, her hand reaching for the bottle, why did she always have to be the sensible one? “I didn’t say I wouldn’t try it.”

 

Eyebrow quirked in surprise Spike let her take the bottle and laughed when she took a swig, made a face and started coughing. “Not to your taste, love?”

 

“It’s awful. How can you drink that stuff?”

 

“Not so bad when you get used to it.” He took the bottle back from her. “That all you do at night, love, patrol? Shouldn’t you be out ‘aving fun? Like you said, you don’t ‘ave Slayer powers.”

 

“I’ve been thinking along those lines a lot today,” Willow confessed.

 

Spike smiled encouragingly. “What you say we ditch the goody-two shoes back there an’ head out?”

 

“Out where?”

 

“Wherever you wanna go,” Spike offered generously. He gestured dramatically towards the large windows. “I give you the night, pet.”

 

“I’ll take it,” Willow said excitement colouring her voice. “I’ll take it, Spike.”

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 

 

The night air was warm; the streets deserted and as she kept pace with Spike heading further away from the school and closer to town Willow had the strange feeling of escape; as though she had been let out of prison after years of service and solitude.

 

Somewhere inside her she was aware that she shouldn’t be disappearing with Spike, that she should be sitting in the library with her friends who were all busy researching a way to help her out of her current predicament, one that she had been the cause of with her fumbling attempts at magic. But still Willow made no attempt to turn around and go back to the school.

 

“So, where we headin’, pet?”

 

Willow’s eyes widened when she realised that she didn’t exactly have a destination in mind. She had only wanted to leave, to go with Spike, she hadn’t given much thought as to where they would go. Willow had rather assumed that Spike would have something planned and to discover he hadn’t and was leaving things up to her was both frightening and exhilarating; she hadn’t been in charge girl before.

 

“The Bronze,” she said at last.

 

Spike stifled a sigh but couldn’t help rolling his eyes. Chit had an evil demon on her arm and a night filled with possibilities and yet she chose The Bronze. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, if he was to hazard a guess he would say that she had never done anything truly rebellious in her life.

 

“Probably best to start off small an’ work your way up,” he murmured, more to himself than to her.

 

Willow looked confused. “What do you mean?”

 

“It’s hardly the most rebellious thing you could ‘ave picked to do, but then, you’re new at this, so best not to go overboard all at once. You wanna save the good stuff for later on,” he said with a nod of satisfaction.

 

If he could mange it Spike thought it would be fun to join her in her teen rebellion stage, being evil he could offer her quite the alternatives to piercings and tattoos. It would be fun to not only watch, but actively aid the sweet little witch down the dark garden path. But he would have to go slowly, pushing her before she was ready would only make her scurry back to the safety and comfort of her friends.

 

“Good stuff?” She was probably more curious than she should be but Willow didn’t ponder it.

 

“I’ll show ya,” Spike promised. “When you’re ready.”

 

Having an evil vampire like Spike show her the “good stuff” should have been a truly terrifying thought, but instead Willow found herself wondering when he would get around to showing her and just what the “good stuff” would entail. Her stomach fluttered with nervous anticipation.

 

Brow furrowed Spike looked her up and down as they walked along. She wore a pink jumper with daisies around the neck, a pink skirt and pale pink tights, the outfit clashed horribly with her red hair. Her hair he liked, rich and full it was, the colour of spilled blood, and her eyes, deep and green hiding a well of secrets.

 

“What?”

 

“You always wear those clothes?”

 

She glanced down at her outfit. “Yeah, why?”

 

“Just that you look like you got dressed in the dark is all.”

 

A cross look settled over her face. “I don’t criticize your clothes.”

 

His response was immediate. “Nothin’ to criticize ‘bout my clothes.”

 

“That’s a matter of opinion.”

 

“Matter of taste,” he said evenly, a small smile twitching at the corners of his mouth.

 

“Spike,” she began irritably. “If you don’t want to go …”

 

“Now don’t get your knickers in a twist,” Spike held up a hand to forestall her complaints. “Just makin’ conversation is all, love.”

 

“Well don’t!” she snapped. “If you can’t say something nice then don’t say anything at all, Spike.”

 

“Bloody hell, love I’ll never open my mouth again if I gotta live by that tired cliché.”

 

Willow laughed. “I suppose not, what with the evil demon thing.”

 

“Exactly.” Spike paused as they neared The Bronze. “You know, you could make that outfit a whole lot better right now if you had a mind too.”

 

“I could?” Willow smoothed down her skirt. “How?”

 

“Those tights,” Spike said with a snort. “They don’t help matters, pet.”

 

Willow picked absently at the tights, she always wore tights, she just didn’t feel comfortable without them showing off her legs; but all of a sudden she really didn’t care. Shrugging she stepped into the mouth of the alley out of the way and wiggled the tights over her hips and lifted a foot to pull off her shoe.

 

Spike grinned at the tangle she got herself into. “Let me help you.”

 

Squatting down on his haunches Spike reached for the material bunched around her thighs, slowly peeling the pink fabric down her leg. Removing her shoe with one hand he balanced her foot in the palm of the other and drew the foot of the tights over her toes.

 

Willow kept very still, her hands resting lightly on his shoulders for balance. His hand was cool holding her foot, his finger tips brushing her skin so softly that Willow had to look down to be sure that he was in fact touching her and she wasn’t imagining it.

 

She swallowed nervously, unable to suppress the shiver that worked its way over her body.

 

“There, much better,” Spike said approvingly. He caught her legs just behind her knees. “You got lovely long legs, Red, dunno why you feel the need to hide ‘em.” He glanced up at her. “Bloke could drive himself crazy thinkin’ ‘bout climbin’ the length of these.”

 

His fingers flexed and Willow sucked in a sharp breath. Boys didn’t talk to her like that. Not that she considered Spike to be a boy, he was very definitely all man, but still, the members of the male species in general tended to be completely oblivious to the fact that she was alive in the world, especially when she was with Buffy.

 

Willow could feel the blush creeping into her face and wished she could find something to say, something cheeky like Buffy, something flirty like Cordelia, something naughty like Faith; but her mind was a blank.

 

Spike watched the conflicting emotions on her face with interest. There was confusion as to what was happening, disbelief that he would really mean what he said but pleased that he would say it just the same; and there was a glint in her eyes, a glint he knew well, a glint that did not belong in the eyes of a good girl as she contemplated what it all might mean.

 

A tingle down the back of his neck alerted Spike to the arrival of the Slayer and he groaned inwardly.

 

A girl rounded the corner in jeans and a skimpy top her long dark hair wild about her shoulders and the tingle grew stronger. Spike knew without being told that she was a Slayer, but it didn’t make sense, this was not Angel’s perfect little princess, this girl was something darker altogether.

 

“Hi Faith,” Willow greeted the new arrival.

 

Faith looked from Willow to the man at her feet with unconcealed curiosity. A grin curled her lips. “Whatcha doin’?”

 

Willow’s blush deepened but she held her head high. “We’re going to The Bronze. This is Spike, remember we told you about him and Drusilla and Angelus.”

 

Faith stared long and hard at the handsome man. “He’s a vamp?”

 

“Yeah,” Spike stood up, surreptitiously shoving Willow’s tights into the pocket of his duster. He eyed her warily. “You’re a Slayer. You wanna explain this to me, Red?”

 

“I’ll explain everything,” Willow promised. “Can we go inside first?”

 

Spike smiled slightly. “You can do whatever you want, love. Night’s yours, remember?”

 

“Why don’t you come too, Faith? Something’s happened, or more to the point, I’ve done something. It involves Spike so that’s why he’s here with me now. Um, you want to join us and I’ll explain?”

 

Faith shrugged. “Was goin’ in there anyway, might as well join you.”

 

They went into The Bronze together and were lucky enough to find a table over at the far end of the stage. Spike went straight to the bar and returned a short time later with a beer for himself and Faith and a yellow drink in a tall glass for Willow.

 

“You’ll like it better than the whisky,” he promised when she sniffed at it suspiciously.

 

Faith took up the beer with a nod of thanks. It was a relief to find someone in Sunnydale who didn’t think each and every rule had to be strictly adhered to. She had been in town for a while and had never seen Buffy or any of her friends doing anything remotely out of line. The very last person she had expected to see experimenting and indulging in teen irresponsibility was Willow Rosenberg.

 

“So, what’s the sitch?”

 

Stirring her drink with the red and white stripped straw it came with Willow explained about Spike kidnapping her and Xander and the spell she had unwittingly cast. Faith listened her beer bottle half way to her mouth and her eyes growing wider and wider in disbelief.

 

When Willow had finished she let out a low whistle and took a swig from the bottle. “Way to screw things up, Red.”

 

Spike was surprised when Willow merely laughed shortly and didn’t burst into tears as he had expected. “It’s a relief to hear someone other than Spike have that reaction.”

 

“I’m not sure you could have screwed up any more if you tried,” Faith admitted.

 

“Could ‘ave given me my own soddin’ soul back,” Spike said crossly. “Things could always be worse.”

 

“B and the others busy doing the research thing?”

 

Willow nodded. “I was there, well, we both were, but I just had to get out of there. Everything was just,” she paused her arm moving around in a circle as she searched for the right words. “Stifling,” she said at last. “I could feel it, all the tension in the air, all the blame that no-one was actually saying out loud but felt anyway. We don’t know what to look for, we don’t know exactly how I managed to do it and all everyone will say is “it’s okay” or “it’s going to be fine”. They’re driving me mad,” she finished with a small groan. “I know they’re trying to help but at the same time they’re not, they just make it worse.”

 

“You ever take a breath?” Spike asked staring at her fascinated. He had never seen anyone talk the way she did.

 

“So you came here for a little R and R, huh?”

 

“Something like that,” Willow agreed.

 

She took a sip of her drink fully expecting to dislike it and was pleasantly surprised with the fruity flavour. She could hardly taste any alcohol at all. She took another sip, a long sip and Spike grinned.

 

Faith took another long drink of beer, from what Willow had told her there was a serious situation going on and B hadn’t been round to tell her about it or ask for help or anything. She didn’t like it, but it hurt. She was a Slayer too and it was hardly her fault that she had been called and sent to Sunnydale. It was hardly her fault that Golden Girl Buffy wasn’t special anymore. She had a job to do and Buffy was too threatened by her to let her get on with.

 

“They know your here?” Faith asked after a while.

 

Willow shook her head. “I doubt Buffy has noticed that I’m taking so long to get back from the canteen. She never notices anything else when Angel’s around.”

 

Faith was surprised at the snarky comment, from what she had seen of B’s little friends they were always ready to jump in at the deep end whenever there was a problem and never seemed to resent being dragged into a world they should really have no part in.

 

Spike snorted. It was pathetic and utterly ridiculous this obsessive need Angel had to pant after the Slayer. Personally he had killed two of them and Angel was busy mooning about over one like a love sick puppy. Spike was almost humiliated over it, Angel being part of his bloodline and all.

 

“You wanna hit the dance floor, get rid of all that stress,” Faith advised.

 

Willow turned in her seat and looked out at the dancing couples, the flashing lights turning hair and faces waxy green and bright purple. She envied them all, dancing, laughing, lost in their own worlds of freedom and fun without having to worry about vampires and souls and the end of the world.

 

She looked at Spike and he shook his head. “No need to concern yourself with me, love. You go an’ dance, I’ll be right here.”

 

“Are you sure? Sort of feels like I’m abandoning you.”

 

Spike laughed and settled further back in his seat. “Gonna ‘ave my old mate Jack to keep me company after I’ve finished this,” he tapped the top of the beer bottle. “I’ll be fine.” Besides, he could hardly go and find himself a meal with her and the Slayer hanging about.

 

“Jack?” Willow asked confused.

 

“Jack Daniels.”

 

She rolled her eyes and smiled. “Alright, if your sure.”

 

Willow slipped from her seat and followed Faith to the dance floor. It didn’t take long for her to unwind and really start to enjoy herself. As she danced with Faith, their fingers entwined, bodies moving together Willow had a strange feeling of relaxation, as if she could actually feel her worries leaving her and her inhibitions peeling away in much the same fashion as a snake shedding its skin.

 

Faith soon made friends with a gang of boys hovering at the edge of the dance floor, her writhing body holding their attention. Like a siren she hypnotised each one in turn drawing them in to dance.

 

Face flushed with the heat of the tightly packed bodies on the dance floor, tiny beads of perspiration standing out across her forehead and her hair sticking to the back of her neck Willow flitted from Faith to Spike in search of a drink to cool down and Spike always had one of those fruity drinks ready and waiting for her.

 

She couldn’t say when she had last enjoyed herself so much. There was a momentary spark of anxiety when she made another trip back to the table to find that Spike was gone, but Faith was there to walk home with her and Spike had generously left her a drink to be going on with and the anxiety soon left her.

 

The amps sent the pounding beat of the base guitar vibrating along the floor and Willow felt it rock through her body. Eyes closed, head titled back she lost herself in the music. She forgot about research, the library, her soul, Spike; the only things of importance in her world now was the music and Faith’s fingers still curled around her own.

 

XxX

 

Willow had an arm wrapped around the waist of one of the boys, his arm was around her shoulders and they were singing along to the music, jumping up and down on the spot and punching the air with their free hands when Spike materialised at her elbow.

 

“Spike!” Willow beamed to see him standing there. “I thought you’d left.”

 

“Time to hit the road, love.” Spike’s Slayer alarm was going off and he had just noticed the Slayer and her lap dog walk through the door. He was in no mood for a stand off with them it would only ruin his night.

 

Her face fell. “Now?”

 

“Now.”

 

Her lips pursed and for a moment Spike thought she would refuse to go with him, but she leant over to shout into Faith’s ear and then she submitted to being taken out the back way.

 

Willow sucked in a deep breath as the night air cooled her skin. “That was so much fun, Spike. The Bronze has never been that much fun before. Where did you go? I went to the table and you weren’t there any more.”

 

“Had somethin’ to take care of is all.” Spike glanced at the dumpster as they passed by, he didn’t even wonder who it was he had tossed in there and how long they would remain there. “The other Slayer weren’t all that bad as Slayers go, prefer her to the blonde bint at any rate. You wanna explain her to me, love?”

 

“Who Faith?” Swinging up onto her toes Willow proceeded to hop from one flag stone to the other trying not to step on the cracks.

 

Spike watched her little dance with amusement. She spoke slowly as she brought him up to speed on the two Slayer situation; a combination of her alcohol induced brain and her concentration on her game.

 

She stopped suddenly, throwing her arms out to the side she spun around in a circle. “Tonight was great. We should do it again.”

 

“Always up for a bit of fun, love. You just name the time and place.”

 

Willow paused in her spinning, lost her footing and fell off the curb. “Oh my God,” she looked up at Spike with large eyes. “Are you okay?”

 

His eyebrow quirked, a look of amusement on his face. “I’m fine.”

 

“Oh good, so long as you didn’t hurt yourself.”

 

“No, I’m tip top, pet.” Not bothering to correct her he offered his hand to help her up. “Are you alright?”

 

“I’m great,” she was smiling again a wild sense of freedom resonating throughout her entire body. “I really liked that drink you gave me. It was yummy.”

 

“Said you’d like it better than the whisky, didn’t I.”

 

“You were right. You’re so smart, Spike.”

 

“And you’re a lightweight,” he teased amiably. “Best get you home, love.”

 

She pouted at him. “Why did we have to leave so soon? I was still dancing and having fun. I never get to have any fun.”

 

“Well I’m here now, I’ll make sure you have plenty of fun. And one sure fire way to ruin the fun is ‘aving the poof show up.”

 

“Angel was at The Bronze?”

 

Spike nodded lighting up a cigarette. “With Little Miss Tight Arse in tow.”

 

Willow giggled at his description of Buffy. “Looking for me?”

 

“Most likely.”

 

Spike grinned as he imagined the look of utter panic on the faces of Angel and his precious Slayer when they had arrived at the student lounge to see his half empty bottle of whisky sitting on the table and no signs of a struggle. Their minds had probably been racing trying to figure out what had happened to Willow.

 

“I’m allowed to have fun.”

 

Why did she always have to be the responsible one? Why did she always have to be research girl and homework girl and boring girl? It wasn’t fair that the others always expected her to be that one thing; the reliable one.

 

“’Course you are, pet.”

 

“Will you be around tomorrow night, Spike?”

 

“You got somethin’ in mind?” he asked with interest, she’d had a taste of it now; irresponsibility and Spike was determined that she should have more of it.

 

She looked at him suspiciously. “Why are you so interested in what I do with my evenings?”

 

“Got my reasons.”

 

Willow shrugged, the alcohol in her system kicking in turning the edges of her mind blurry and unfocused.

 

“So, what’s your big plan for tomorrow?” Spike blew a stream of smoke into the air.

 

Willow hopped up and down on the spot her fingers curling around his arm and tugging lightly. “Will you think of something? I’m too fuzzy to think.”

 

Spike smiled slowly. “Yeah, pet I’ll think of somethin’, leave it to me.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Buffy was officially worried, she and Angel had scoured the town and they hadn’t even caught a glimpse of Willow or Spike. Willy swore blind he hadn’t see Spike since the previous evening and that he had never seen Willow at all.

Angel believed that they were together and Buffy so no reason to doubt him. But she had no idea why Willow would sneak off with Spike, it stood to reason that he must have kidnapped her again, although Buffy couldn’t see why Spike would do that, she didn’t see what he hoped to gain by it after all, he knew that they hadn’t yet discovered the way to reverse the spell.

The Bronze was packed; Angel took the stairs to the second floor while Buffy elbowed her way through the crowd towards the dance floor. She scanned the area around her hopping up onto her tip toes craning her neck as she searched for her best friend. Willow she didn’t find, but her temper flared when she caught sight of Faith surrounded by a group of boys quite clearly lost to the music.

Pushing her way onto the dance floor Buffy grabbed hold of Faith’s arm and yanked her away from the boys. “We have a crisis on our hands and you’re dancing!”

Faith scowled. “Maybe I wouldn’t be dancin’ if you bothered to tell me that we had a crisis on our hands. What’s the sitch?”

“Willow’s missing, she’s…”

“With Spike,” Faith finished. “She’s alright.”

Buffy blinked thrown for a moment. “You’ve seen her?”

Faith nodded. “She only left a few minutes ago; she’s been here all night.”

Buffy blanched, it stung, knowing that Willow had been here with Faith and Spike all night without her. She was aware that it was the wrong aspect to be focusing on but she couldn’t help feeling hurt over it.

“Willow’s been here all night, with you?”

“Yeah, that’s what I just said. She told me about the soul thing, pretty big stuff, huh?”

And the stinging pain just kept on coming. It shouldn’t make a difference that Willow had told Faith but it sort of did. Willow hadn’t really spoken about it, all she would say was that she hadn’t meant for it to happen and that she was fine. For a girl who babbled most of the time it was disconcerting to see her so quiet. Had Willow confided in Faith? If Willow was talking about it that should be a good thing and Buffy hated that she couldn’t get totally on board with that. Willow was her best friend, if she was going to talk to someone it should be her, or Oz or Xander or even Cordelia; but not Faith and Buffy couldn’t exactly say why.

“Yeah it is,” Buffy agreed. “Where did she go?”

Faith shrugged. “I dunno, she just said she was leaving.”

“And you didn’t stop her or ask where she was going? You just let her leave with Spike?” Buffy was incredulous.

“Not down to me to tell Willow what she can and can’t do. If she wants to go with Spike that’s her choice.”

“You’re a Slayer, Faith,” Buffy said impatiently. “Spike’s a vampire, and not just any vampire either, he’s as evil as they get and you should have stopped her going with him.”

“Like you did, you mean?” Faith asked with a lift of her eyebrow.

Buffy flushed, she had no response and that was pretty annoying. Luckily Angel chose that moment to reappear. “They aren’t upstairs.”

“Faith said that they left a few minutes ago.”

Angel’s shoulders relaxed. Now that he knew that Spike hadn’t done anything untoward he felt better. Spike was known to have a short fuse and to lash out and Angel wouldn’t have put it past him to lash out at Willow killing her in the process in the hopes that her death would result in ending the spell she had cast. He was pleased to discover that Spike was using some common sense for a change.

“Did Spike say where he was going?” Angel asked. He had the sneaking suspicion that Spike was the master mind behind tonight’s escapades.

“No. You want some help looking for them?”

“We’ll split up,” Angel said turning to head out the door. “You two take the cemetery and I’ll sweep the streets.”

Buffy bit her lip worriedly. “He won’t have taken her to the cemetery would he?”

“Probably a hot first date for a vampire,” Faith said falling in behind Angel.

“It’s not a date!” Buffy exclaimed crossly. “He’s kidnapped her again.”

“She seemed to be here of her own free will to me.”

Rubbing at her forehead as she left The Bronze Buffy wondered what could have been going through Willow’s mind to disappear with Spike this way.

They searched the streets around The Bronze together before splitting up. Angel went one way and Faith and Buffy the other.

There was some action in the cemetery but no sign of Spike or Willow. Buffy and Faith worked together almost seamlessly fighting the nest of vampires they came across, but they didn’t speak.

“She’ll be fine,” Faith said after dusting the last vampire.

“She’d be better if she wasn’t with Spike,” Buffy muttered.

“Spike’s not gonna let anything happen to her, B. Don’t you think she deserves a chance to blow off some steam after what’s happened? You know Willow better than I do but she always seemed so in her head, you know, the type who thinks about everything. It’ll do her good to try and forget about everything for one night.”

“Maybe,” Buffy conceded. “But it’s not like Willow to just up and leave without saying anything, especially with someone like Spike!”

“She’s goin’ through some stuff, come on, B we’ve all been there.”

Buffy stopped walking and groaned, closing her eyes for a moment. “I’m the worst friend ever.”

Willow had a lot on her mind, she had a lot to deal with and try to absorb with this whole soul splitting thing, and all Willow had done was sneak away from research one night. When she’d had a lot to deal with and absorb after killing Angel she had ran away from Sunnydale altogether. She hadn’t confided in Willow or Xander or Giles, she had run. Buffy felt that she could hardly blame Willow for wanting some space.

Faith didn’t respond to the comment. She had nothing to say, she had never had a close group of friends the way Buffy did. She’d had friends of course, but Faith could honestly say that her friends wouldn’t have stuck around the way Willow, Cordelia and Xander did for Buffy. It took a special kind of person to join a fight that wasn’t their own, Buffy had fallen in lucky with her friends.

“Let’s swing by Willow’s, maybe he took her home.”

“Fine by me.”

Buffy was a little chattier on the way to Willow’s house. She told Faith about their research and how they hadn’t found anything yet. “But it’s only the first night of research, we don’t always find the answers straight off.”

“But you always do.”

“Yeah, and we will this time. Giles is going to ring around his contacts in the morning and see if anyone can help out. “

“Sounds like you’ve got all bases covered.”

“Yep,” Buffy forced a smile to her face. “It’s Willow, you know, we’ll do everything we can to put this right for her.”

Willow’s street was quiet, Faith hadn’t been there before and she took in the perfectly manicured lawns, the picket fences, the fancy cars in the driveways of equally fancy houses, even the street lights were all in working order. She’d bet her life that the pets in this street had it better than she did growing up.

“Nice digs,” she said when Buffy paused outside a large house with whitewashed walls and flowers boarders in the garden.

Buffy frowned up at the house, it was in total darkness. “Willow’s room is round the back, we’d better check it out. If her light isn’t on we’ll knock.”

She was relieved to see light spilling from Willow’s bedroom window, Buffy liked to know her friends were home safely tucked up in their beds. “I’ll just….”

“Let her alone,” Faith put a hand on Buffy’s arm. “Look B, if she had wanted to talk to you about things she wouldn’t have left the school tonight. Maybe she just wants some time to think things out for herself.”

Buffy let out a loud sigh and nodded. “Maybe your right, I’ll see her in the morning instead.” She turned away from the house but didn’t leave until she threw one last backwards look at the window, she smiled when the light went out, it settled her mind knowing that Willow really was safe and sound tucked up in bed.

 

XxX

 

Willow woke the following morning with a low groan, her head felt stuffed up, her mouth was as dry as the bottom of a bird cage and she felt sick. At least the room had stopped spinning; Willow remembered the room spinning a lot when she got in, although she didn’t quite remember the walk home.

Sitting up and pressing a hand to her queasy stomach Willow eased herself out of bed and made her slow way to the bathroom. Running the cold water tap she tilted her head and drunk greedily. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand Willow leant on the sink for a while the white porcelain cool and smooth beneath her hands.

She remembered being at The Bronze and dancing with Faith. She remembered leaving with Spike and she remembered flopping on her bed when she got home, that was about it. Clearly she hadn’t changed as she was still wearing the clothes from the previous day. Willow made a face, she had never been drunk before and never slept in her clothes before. She needed a hot shower to try and drag herself into the land of the living.

Nothing else came to her as she went through her morning routine still only half aware of what she was doing, not until she climbed into the shower and started to soap her legs. Then it came rushing back to her, something that was half memory and half a dream but felt so very real, more real than any other experience including the near death ones; Spike’s hands on her legs, Spike’s fingers trailing down her hot skin, Spike’s voice, deep and husky his eyes piercing blue as he looked at her and spoke to her; words that were designed to flatter and scorch and arouse and had hit their mark with no problem at all.

A tremor ran through her body and Willow found she was almost hyperventilating. The most erotic moment of her life and been with a vampire. An evil vampire. A vampire who was the Slayer of Slayers. A vampire whose evil deeds were legendary the world over and was known as part of the Scourge of Europe he was so notorious.

It was bad, somewhere inside her Willow knew it was bad, but still she clung on to that thrilling feeling of Spike.

Once she had finished in the bathroom she went and glared at the contents of her wardrobe before pulling on a denim skirt and taking a plain white blouse from her mother’s room. She spent some time rooting through the clothes her mother had left behind but Shelia Rosenberg was bigger in the chest that her teenage daughter and therefore her tops pretty much just hung on Willow’s slender frame. The blouse was the best thing she could find and even then it was a more than a little bit loose, but Willow preferred it to the alternative offerings in her wardrobe.

She was about to go and have breakfast when she noticed the time. With a loud squeak Willow scurried around her room packing up her bag and raced from the house. She was never late for school not ever, today she was going to ruin that perfect record and she squirmed. She didn’t want to do that but thanks to Spike keeping her out drinking until all hours it couldn’t be avoided.

Late didn’t really begin to cover it, she arrived at school during break after her first two classes were over. The only time she had ever arrived at school this time was if she had an appointment like the doctor or the dentist. Willow liked the stability of a routine, she liked knowing where she was meant to be and when which is why she and the school time table got along really well, unlike Xander and the school time table who were old enemies. He really resented the early starts to his day, especially when math was involved as a first lesson.

Willow entered the school through the main doors and headed straight to the library, she figured the others would be there worrying about her and discussing her absence. Willow Rosenberg absent from school with no good reason was a topic for discussion and Willow frowned slightly at the thought.

They were, as Willow had thought, all in the library when she pushed through the doors. “Hey,” she greeted them with a smile.

“Willow!” Buffy hurried across the room and threw her arms around her friends neck. “I’ve been…. I mean, we’ve all been really worried about you. Where have you been?”

Oz reached out and tangled his fingers with hers. “Are you alright? I tried getting you on the phone this morning and last night but you didn’t answer. You had me worried.”

Willow could honestly say that she’d had no idea the phone had been ringing that morning, she must have been really zoned out. “I didn’t get in until late and I slept late. I didn’t mean to make you worry. I just…” she gestured impatiently with her free hand unsure of right words to say to make them understand.

“I know,” Oz raised their joined hands to his lips placing a kiss on the back of her hand. “It must be hard on you. Maybe we weren’t supportive or understanding enough last night.”

Willow smiled a little worm of guilt wiggling in her chest. “Maybe I didn’t give you the opportunity to be supportive, you know, leaving like that. I should have told you what I was doing but I didn’t think. I really didn’t mean to worry you all.”

“It’s okay, really it is,” Buffy promised. “Oz is right, we probably weren’t understanding enough. This isn’t an end of the world situation, this is a Willow situation, we should have shown you more support. We will from now on. I’m sorry,” she slid an arm through Willow’s. “You were there for me when I needed you, you know, when things got.... got personal and I let you down.”

“No,” Willow shook her head quickly. “You didn’t, Buff, I don’t know what I was thinking, I probably wasn’t to go disappearing like that.”

“Personal?” Cordelia piped up from where she was leaning against the counter. “That’s what you call it when you turn your boyfriend all psychotic and he tries to kill us all?”

“Cordelia,” Xander groaned.

“Okay,” Buffy stepped back and held out her hands, her face pink as she tried to ignore Cordelia. Cordelia Chase could always be relied upon to speak the truth and it grated on Buffy. “New rule. We talk about it, okay Wills? No matter what you’re thinking or feeling you talk to us about it. We’ll listen with no judgement, I promise.”

“She’s right,” Oz said. “This is a whole new situation for us to deal with. It’s never been this personal before and we’re all a little scared, you probably most of all and that’s perfectly understandable. It’s alright to be frightened, Willow, just you know, talk to us.”

“Willow, are you sure that you’re feeling alright?” Giles asked

“I’m fine,” she turned to look at Giles and noticed for the first time that Faith was there too.

“No side effects?” Giles persisted. He couldn’t get his conversation with Angel out of his head, Spike, _Spike_ tearing up over kittens! It was pretty clear to both Giles and Angel that Spike’s behaviour had been caused by Willow’s soul setting up home inside him, and Giles couldn’t understand why Willow didn’t appear to be experiencing any changes at all.

Willow shook her head. “Nope, I’m just the same. Just me. All Willow.”

Xander grinned. “That’s my Willster.”

“I thought I’d talk to Amy today, see if she had any ideas,” Willow suggested and Giles nodded his agreement.

“Good idea,” Xander said. “Another witch in the mix can’t be bad, right?”

“I certainly think that all avenues should be explored in this case. Amy’s mother as we know was a pretty powerful witch. She would have to be to perform a body swap the way she did. There just might be something in her collection of spells and paraphernalia that might help, or at the very least point us in the right direction,” Giles said.

“Body swapping can’t be all that different from soul splitting, can it?” Xander asked. “I mean they’re kinda the same, putting something into someone else’s body.”

“In principle maybe,” Giles said. “But souls are tricky things, it’s best not to get ahead of ourselves until Willow has spoken to Amy. I don’t mean to sound pessimistic,” he told Willow with a small smile. “But I don’t want you to get upset if Amy turns out to be a dead end. There are still many angles to look at yet.”

The bell suddenly sounded loud and shrill and Xander groaned dramatically. “Science. I hate science.”

“You hate all your classes,” Cordelia responded gathering up her books. “If you don’t start paying attention you’ll spend the rest of your life asking people “do you want fries with that?””

“And what’s your big plan for the future?” Xander demanded hopping off the counter and following her from the room. “You gonna design a new purse that’ll bring about world peace?”

Oz watched them go. “Love’s wonderful, isn’t it?”

Buffy snorted. “I don’t get it, but it seems to work for them so who am I to argue? You ready Wills? The science lab awaits.”

“I’ll walk you both,” Oz offered. He didn’t want to let Willow out of his sight unless he had to. He wasn’t the over protective, suffocating kind of boyfriend but he was worried about her. That sixth sense of his kept kicking in telling him that something wasn’t right with Willow and he was starting to get concerned about her scent; Oz was pretty sure that the previous night it had started to change but right now he could smell nothing but Willow.

“Give me a minute, I’ll be right there.” She stood there looking pointedly at the door when neither of them moved.

“We’ll wait for you in the hall,” Oz said, sensitive to the fact that she may have something she wished to confide to Giles. He wished she would talk to him but so long as she was talking to someone Oz wasn’t complaining too much. Maybe she thought it was too hard for him, what with her soul being part of another man. He made a mental note to let her know that Spike didn’t bother him, he wasn’t the jealous type either.

“Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?” Giles asked.

“No,” Willow shook her head. “I wanted to talk to Faith.”

“Oh,” Giles nodded and took up a pile of books from the counter and went up into the stacks.

Faith grinned. “Don’t think he was expecting that. What’s up?”

Willow let out a heavy sigh. “Just wanted to say thanks, you know, for not telling them about last night.”

Faith’s grin deepened. “You wanna walk on the wild side with a wild vamp that’s your business.”

Willow bit her bottom lip her mind drifting to Spike for a moment. If ever a vamp was wild it was Spike.

“You changing your look?” Faith eyed the slightly baggy blouse.

Willow made a face. “I was getting dressed this morning and I realised that everything I own is fuzzy! I had to borrow one of my mother’s blouses to look even half way decent, and it’s too big for me.”

“Here,” Faith lent forward and untucked the blouse, pulling the ends tight together she knotted them at Willow’s waist. “It doesn’t look so big on you now.”

“Thanks,” Willow fingered the knot absently.

“You’d better get to class.”

“What will you do all day?”

Faith shrugged and stood up swinging her arms back and forth. “Whatever I feel like doing. Haven’t decided yet. You, um, you seeing Spike again tonight?”

“I doubt it, I’m sure he has more interesting things to do than hang out here and research with us. I don’t see Spike as research vamp but more of the find-a solution-or-I’ll –rip-your –heart-out kinda vamp.” Willow honestly couldn’t remember if she had agreed to see Spike tonight or not, but she suspected that she hadn’t. Spike probably wouldn’t want to spend any more time with her than was necessary after what she had done to him. Still, there was a part of her that couldn’t help remembering the previous night and the feel of his hands on her skin.

“Well, see ya round,” Faith said when they left the library, she turned to the left and Oz, Willow and Buffy went to the right.

“So,” Buffy feigned enthusiasm. “Science.”

Willow took Oz’s offered hand. “Science,” she said aloud. But her mind said _Spike._

XxX

Once she had gotten to the science lab Willow’s day began to pick up. School had a calming effect on her mind and she busied herself with her class work. She had managed to catch Amy after science and explained her current predicament. Amy had agreed to look through her mother’s things and promised to let her know if she found anything. She had even offered to be her second in executing a spell if Willow thought she might need her, it was a nice feeling, knowing that Amy was willing to go so far to help her.

She had a ton of homework to do, especially since she hadn’t gotten a thing done the previous night. She had agreed with Buffy that they would meet at the library later that evening after Buffy had been on patrol and Willow had managed to catch up on her homework. She wasn’t all that much behind in her work, not when she compared herself with Xander, but Willow was never behind in her school work and the very thought of handing in an assignment late made her queasy.

Willow sat at her desk with her lap top open and books spread out around her as she tried to compile her essay for English. Willow didn’t find English any great chore the way Xander and Buffy did and she especially enjoyed Shakespeare. Sometimes she got so caught up in the story that she ended up reading the whole play before she even got started on her homework.

A knock at the French windows brought Willow out of the tragic romantic world of Shakespeare. Marking her page she pulled back the curtains not overly surprised to see Spike on the other side of the glass smoking a cigarette.

“Hello, Spike.” She opened the windows.

The first thing she noticed was that he smelled great, a smoky-leather scent with a spice that was sensually enticing. Her head buzzed as a sensation of heat washed over her. Her gaze collided with those lovely blue eyes of his, turning her instantly into a marshmallow.

“Red.”

“W…What are you doing here?”

A smirk slid across his lips. “You don’t remember?”

“No.”

“You asked me to think of somethin’ to do tonight, so I did. ‘M always willin’ to give a lady what she wants.”

Willow’s cheeks pinked, she had the feeling that he wasn’t talking about a night out and her mind spun back to the alley way when he had squatted at her feet and held her legs in his hands. She was so glad that Spike couldn’t read minds.

“I… I have homework to do,” she gestured weakly behind her towards her desk.

Spike rolled his eyes propping himself up against the wall. “Thought you wanted to ‘ave fun, pet.”

“Fun will just have to wait,” she stood firm. “I have homework to do right now.”

“Surely you know a little spell to get it done quicker?”

“No,” Willow shook her head. “Amy knows one, or at least she knows a spell to pretend to hand homework in, but I don’t. It’s not a spell that I need.”

“Magic can help you get things done, help you get what you want. If you ‘ave the power, use it, why shouldn’t you?” Spike pointed out.

“That’s not exactly what magic is for, Spike.”

“Says who?”

“Giles.”

Spike burst out laughing. “The Watcher? Oh love, what does he know about it?”

Willow bristled on Giles behalf. “Giles knows what he’s talking about. He can do magic too you know.”

“No, I didn’t know,” Spike said exhaling smoke behind him. “But I do know he’s not half as powerful as you are.”

“Me?” she almost squeaked. “Powerful? Where did you get that from?”

“Like I said before, you’ve performed two spells involving souls, that’s powerful stuff. Besides, I feel it, not all the time, but I do feel it.”

Her head titled quizzically. “Feel it? What do you mean?”

Spike tapped his chest lightly. “In here. Don’t forget that part of you is inside me, love.”

That shouldn’t have made her shiver. It shouldn’t have made her stomach flutter; but it did. Willow swallowed and rubbed at her suddenly tight throat.

“You should use it, use what’s yours an’ use it for you,” Spike urged, his voice low and insistent.

“I don’t know how,” Willow spoke softly.

“Practice and control,” Spike said. “The more you use your power the more you’ll feel it inside you an’ the more it will become yours and yours alone to wield and control. It won’t control you the way it did when you split your soul.”

She looked suddenly helpless and lost, almost as though she were drowning in his words and Spike held out a hand to her. “I’ll help you, if you want me to.”

“Yes,” her voice was barely above a whisper.

Willow reached for his offered hand her fingers sliding between his.

Spike smiled slowly.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

 

His fingers were cool in hers and Willow shivered a little. Taking a step back she drew him with her. “Come in, Spike.”

 

“Don’t mind if I do.” Spike stepped into her room his eyes darting around as he took in his surroundings. The first thing he noticed however was the scent of her room, laundry powder, perfume, candles and Willow. Spike inhaled deeply, he liked it.

 

Willow had redecorated her room when she moved into high school, it was no longer the room of a little girl and she wasn’t one for fussy frills and pink stuff either. But Spike made her room look small and feminine, he was just so _male_ standing there in head to toe black and that red shirt that somehow accentuated his pale skin and made him look like a marble statue when he stood still.

 

Spike very rarely stood still and now was no exception. He moved around her in a circle, unable to go too far as she was still holding his hand. Willow blushed furiously when she realised what she was doing and dropped his fingers quickly.

 

“I have to finish my essay, it’s nearly done, I won’t be long.”

 

“You carry on pet, don’t mind me.” Spike wandered to her chest of drawers and examined the nick knacks lying about on top of it.

 

“Do you want a drink? I don’t have blood but I have alcohol.”

 

“Just tell me where it is an’ I’ll get it, don’t want to disturb you,” Spike smiled pleasantly at her.

 

“In the living room, the cabinet by the TV.”

 

Spike nodded. “I’ll get to it.”

 

“Right,” Willow sat back at her desk and reopened Shakespeare but it was impossible for her to concentrate when Spike was wandering about behind her picking things up and then putting them down, running his finger along the spines of her books, peering into her fish tank and tapping lightly at the glass and squatting to examine her music collection expressing his opinion at what he found there with a loud snort. Willow shot him an annoyed look but didn’t say anything.

 

Eventually he left the room and Willow let out a breath of relief and rolled her shoulders, she was suddenly feeling all tense.

 

Shakespeare did not hold as much interest for her now as it had only minutes ago, now her mind was on the vampire pottering about in the other room. She wondered what he was doing; it shouldn’t take him this long to pour himself a drink. But, having been alone in her own home for so long it was nice to hear movement down the hallway and know that just for now, just for tonight there was someone else within these four walls with her; it was comforting somehow.

 

Pulling her mind back to her homework Willow forced herself to focus, the sooner she finished the sooner she could try out some spells with Spike.

 

He reappeared a little while later with a glass of scotch in his hand. Propping himself up against the door frame Spike watched her as her fingers flew over the keyboard and her lips moved in silent thought of what came next.

 

“You about done?”

 

Willow jumped startled. “Goodness, don’t do that.” She pressed a hand to her heart for a moment. “Yes, just got to print it off and I’m all done.”

 

“Good.” Spike came into the room shrugging off his duster and tossing it across the back of a chair.

 

The printer groaned to life and Willow frowned at it. She really needed a new one, this one was on its last legs and it would be just her luck that it would conk out on her when she had a super important homework assignment to do. Shuffling her papers together, closing down her lap top and putting her books back into her bag Willow nodded once in satisfaction, homework was done and now she could have fun.

 

“I’m ready.” Her smile faltered when she saw him, he looked so different without his trademark coat and Willow found herself fixating on the tight fit of his jeans.

 

“Finally.”

 

Spike turned to face her and Willow noticed that those jeans were just as nice from the front as from the back. She hadn’t noticed before what with him trying to kill her and wearing that long coat. There was a little tingle in her belly as her eyes slid up his flat stomach, over a chest that was really worth sighing about, to the broad expanse of his shoulders. He wasn’t built big like Angel but Willow felt she preferred Spike’s more compact frame. She finished her perusal with sharp cheekbones a chiselled jaw, amazing blue eyes and she almost forgot to breathe.

 

“Oh, Buffy!” Willow bit her bottom lip. “I’m supposed to meet her for patrol.”

 

“You better do somethin’ ‘bout that, pet. Don’t want her turnin’ up here lookin’ for you.”

 

Picking up the phone she dialled the library in the hopes that she would catch Buffy before she headed out. Giles answered on the third ring.

 

“Hey, Giles it’s me, Willow. Did Buffy leave yet?”

 

“No not yet, she’s still here. Is something wrong?”

 

“Not wrong exactly,” Willow said. “But, um, I won’t be able to make patrol with her tonight. I um, I’m not feeling well.”

 

“Is it a side effect?” Giles asked worriedly.

“No, it’s just a headache. I think I’ll have an early night.”

 

“Well yes of course, if you’re unwell sleep is the best thing for you,” Giles agreed. “Don’t worry about anything, Willow we’ll keep researching here. It’s probably all the worry and stress of the last few days catching up with you. Try and get a good night’s sleep.”

 

“I will, thanks, Giles. Good night.”

 

“Good night, Willow.”

 

“Oh, and um, tell Oz that I’ll see him tomorrow, okay?”

 

Giles smiled into the phone. “I will.”

 

“Now that’s all sorted, what’ll we start with, love?” Spike asked taking a seat at her desk.

 

“Well, I’m still learning, but there’s this cloaking spell I wanted to try out. I figured that if I could master that then it would be a big help to Buffy, and well, Faith too now I guess. But,” her mouth turned down at the corners. “The last time I tried it the candle melted all over the place.”

 

Spike chuckled. “Just need to concentrate is all. Not sure how much I like the idea of the Slayer ‘aving that kind of advantage over me though.”

 

“Oh well, I wouldn’t use it against you, Spike. Just, you know, other vampire’s and demons.”

 

“Sounds fair.”

 

Willow smiled, leaning over him she plucked a pencil out of the pot on her desk. “There’s something I want to show you, it’s pretty neat.” Setting the pencil down she knelt at his feet and stared at the pencil for a long moment. At first nothing happened but then the pencil quivered and began to rise into the air and slowly rotate. “Neat huh?”

 

“Uh huh.” Spike wasn’t really thinking about rotating pencils when she was in this position. His mind went unbidden to the dark corners of desire and Spike found himself fantasising about her turning towards him, unzipping his jeans and taking him in her mouth as his fingers slid through her hair.

 

“I wish all spells could be this easy.”

 

Spike drew his attention back to the present. “They will be love, just give it time.”

 

“How much time? Like, soon?”

 

Spike chuckled. “If you work hard.”

 

“I can do that. I’m the original work hard girl,” Willow said with a nod.

 

Spike looked from her to the pencil. “Might not need to work that hard, the pencil’s still rotatin’ and you’re not concentratin’ on it at all.”

 

Willow glanced over her shoulder at the pencil. “Oh it’ll do that until I make it stop. Sometimes I forget it’s even there.”

 

“So you don’t have to concentrate to make it spin?”

 

She shook her head. “Not really, only to get it started. Once I got really frustrated with my math homework and it started spinning like crazy, it got really blurry. Like the pencil version of The Flash or something. He’s the one right? The fast one?”

 

Spike looked confused. “I don’t know who that is, pet.”

 

Willow shrugged. “It’s not important.”

 

“Can you float more than one pencil?”

 

“I don’t know. I’ve never tried it. Let’s try.” Reaching for the pot of pens and pencils Willow emptied them across her desk, spreading them out before settling back down to concentrate. It didn’t take her long before the air above her desk was filled with floating stationary. She beamed at Spike.

 

“Can you levitate something bigger than a pencil?”

 

“Levitate?” Willow frowned. “I never thought about it that way. You know, levitation. I just figured it was neat that I could float a pencil.”

 

Spike let out an unnecessary breath. “That’s because you’re tryin’ to learn all this stuff on your own. If you ‘ad someone to guide you then you’d be lookin’ at things differently. I told you the Watcher didn’t know what he was about, didn’t I?”

 

“Giles tries his best,” Willow said. “But well, he’s a Watcher, Buffy’s Watcher. He can’t do everything at once.”

 

For that Spike was grateful. With the Watcher busy watching over the Slayer that gave him free reign with Willow. The things he would show her, the things he could teach her, with his guidance she would be a force to be reckoned with in time. She had a power inside her that was raging against its restraints and just itching to get out; Spike was intent on unleashing that power.

 

“Good thing I’m here to help then.”

 

She smiled, “Guess so.”

 

“Try levitating a book next, it’s not too big but its bigger than a soddin’ pencil. That’s child’s play, you’re better than that, love.”

 

“You think so?” she looked surprised.

 

Spike tapped his chest. “I know so.”

 

“Levitation,” Willow murmured going to her bed and pulling out a large magic book from beneath it. “Neat.”

 

Spike grinned. “When you really get the hang of it there’ll be no stoppin’ you. You’ll be able to levitate all kinds of things.”

 

“Really? Like what?”

 

He shrugged. “Cars, people, vampire’s in trouble,” he winked and she laughed.

 

“Levitating you out of trouble would be a full time job.”

 

He laughed and nodded his agreement. “Can’t argue with that, pet.”

 

For the next few hours Willow concentrated on levitation, gradually moving on to bigger and heavier objects. Spike didn’t say much, he simply sat quietly in her desk chair with Willow at his feet and watched her. He had known a few witches in his time but he’d never really been friends with one, not that he particularly thought of Willow as a friend, but she was hardly his enemy either. Spike wasn’t sure what to call her; they were definitely something, what with her soul inside him and what all.

 

Watching her perform her spells was an interesting experience, Spike hadn’t had the opportunity to just sit back and watch a witch work her magic. There was an ever so slight shift in the air around her, it became charged, like an electrical current woven into the atmosphere and her eyes seemed to brighten with the heightened power inside her. Spike felt that power inside him. It wasn’t painful or even uncomfortable, but it was a very strange feeling. Her soul recognised the power as part of itself and it squirmed inside him as though it were trying to escape and join forces with its other half. Spike rubbed slow circles over his chest as though he could sooth it into submission.

 

Cheeks flushed pink and eyes gleaming with excitement Willow turned to him suddenly. “Don’t move, Spike.”

 

“What? Why?”

 

Willow didn’t respond, instead she just stared at him long and hard her brow furrowing in concentration. She let out a huff of frustration and poked at his knee crossly when he didn’t move an inch.

 

“Are you tryin’ to levitate me?”

 

“Oh hush! I’m trying to focus.”

 

Spike rolled his eyes. “Well excuse me for being a little cautious, the last time you did a spell that involved me it didn’t work out that great.”

Willow sighed, ignoring him as her frown deepened. She was determined to move Spike. Levitation could be just as useful to Buffy as a cloaking spell. If she could move Buffy about as easily as she did a pencil then she really would be a help out in the field instead of being a hindrance. Willow was honest enough with herself to admit that as much as she and Xander wanted to help Buffy sometimes they got in the way more than anything and divided Buffy’s focus because she worried about them getting hurt.

 

“Hey now!” Spike exclaimed as he felt him rise from the chair. There were no arms for him to grab hold of to steady himself and he found himself hovering a few inches above the seat. “Careful now, pet.”

 

“I did it!” she squealed clapping her hands with excitement.

 

It was enough to make her loose her focus and Spike landed hard on the chair tumbling to the side and onto the floor.

 

He glared up at her. “That what you call careful?”

 

Catching her bottom lip between her teeth Willow winced. “Sorry Spike. I guess I need to really focus if I’m going to levitate people.”

 

“What’s say we move on from levitation huh, pet?” Spike righted himself in the chair, rather hoping she’d had enough of including him in the magic for one night.

 

“Alright, I guess I’ve practiced that enough tonight. I’m definitely getting better, don’t you think?”

 

“Yeah I do. We’ll go back to it another night when I’m sittin’ on somethin’ soft.” He smiled to take the sting out of his words.

 

“Can I try the cloaking spell now?”

 

Spike nodded. “Go ahead, lets see what you’ve got, love.”

 

Willow got up and went to the closet from where she re-emerged with a large red candle. She set it in the middle of the room and brought over matches and a spell book.

 

Kneeling before the candle she lit the wick and looked over the spell again. “Well,” she looked anxiously at Spike. “Here goes.”

 

Willow began to chant, she waited a full two minutes after ending the spell but nothing happened. This time the candle didn’t even melt. She pouted, disappointed.

 

“Try again,” Spike encouraged. “This time try really focusing on the flame and open your mind up. Sometimes it helps to have a clear mind.”

 

Taking a couple of deep breaths to centre herself Willow watched the flickering orange flame until her eyes slid out of focus. She tried the spell again, the words felt more comfortable on her tongue this time and she could feel something cool sliding against her skin.

 

“It’s workin’,” Spike said as a thin grey mist materialised in the air, swirling around her body and spreading outwards across the room. The soul fluttered inside him again and Spike patted his chest absently.

 

In no time the mist was so thick that he couldn’t see her at all. In fact he couldn’t see much of anything, the only way he knew she was there was from her scent and the soft sound of her heart beating.

 

He shivered slightly when the mist touched him, curling around him turning thicker, changing from grey to black. Spike stood up concerned. “Love?”

 

Opening her eyes Willow was surprised to see the black mist floating about her obscuring everything in sight. She was aware that it wasn’t supposed to be like this, it wasn’t how the book described the effects of the spell. On the bright side, the candle hadn’t melted all over the carpet.

 

Climbing to her feet she peered into the mist. “Spike?” Willow shuddered, gooseflesh prickling over her skin when she stepped deeper into the mist.

 

“Good job, pet. You, um, you wanna get rid of it all now?”

 

Willow turned back towards the candle, all she had to do was blow out the flame, but the candle had been swallowed up by the mist. She gasped looking around wildly, she was afraid to move in case she kicked the candle over and set fire to the carpet.

 

Swallowing nervously she looked about her for any sign of Spike but she could hardly see her hand in front of her face. The mist was cold and getting colder, it was thick and getting thicker, it was black and getting blacker and it seemed to be prowling around her like a wild animal.

 

“Spike!” Willow pivoted anxiously on the balls of her feet her breath coming out in little white puffs. “Spike where are you?”

 

“I’m right here,” Spike took a step forward, she hadn’t been that far away from him. “Stay where you are, pet. I’ll come to you.”

 

Even he could feel the chill of the mist and Spike knew that something wasn’t right; variations in temperature didn’t really bother him unless fire was involved. Reaching out he waved his hand about in the mist to see if he could brush it aside but it had no effect at all. Still, he had faced worse than mist in his time and he pressed on anyway, following her scent.

 

Rubbing her hands up and down her cold arms Willow stayed still waiting for Spike. The mist still moved, drifting about reaching out long cold fingers to touch her and curl around her ankles and wrists like manacles.

 

Willow screamed, fear shooting through her, the mist had captured her; it was wrapping around her throat, covering her body, pressing down on her. “Spike!”

 

“Here.” Spike appeared out of the blackness his eyes widening in shock to see her clawing at her throat. “What do I do?”

 

“The candle,” Willow rasped. “Blow it out.”

 

Spike sniffed and caught the burning scent of the wick. Dropping to his knees he reached through the mist his fingers wrapping around the candle and drawing it towards him. He blew out the flame and the mist evaporated in the space of a few seconds.

 

Willow gasped rubbing at her throat. “Thank you, Spike.”

 

“You alright, love?” Taking her chin between his fingers Spike tilted her head back to examine her face.

 

“Yes,” she said letting out a breath of relief. “You saved me.”

 

“What happened? I know that’s not how the spell was supposed to go.”

 

“I don’t know,” Willow admitted. “It sort of worked, I mean the mist was supposed to happen and it was meant to hide you from me because that’s what a cloaking spell does. But I don’t know why it turned so black or so cold or tried to swallow me up like something from a bad science fiction movie.”

 

Spike laughed softly drawing her against his chest until her heart beat regulated out. “Better luck next time, pet. They didn’t hit the moon with the first missile shot either.”

 

“If at first you don’t succeed, right?”

 

“Right. Can’t go through life quittin’ when things go wrong.”

 

“Right,” she agreed, after all, Buffy didn’t quit when the going got tough and Buffy had dealt with a lot of tough going’s over the last few years. Willow covered a yawn with her hand. “I think that’s enough magic for tonight and besides, it’s getting late and I have school in the morning. I don’t want to be late again like I was today.”

 

Spike released her and took up his duster. “Been an interesting night, can’t say as I’ve ever been in that position before, and,” he paused to give her a long look. “I’ve been in a lot of positions in my time.”

 

Willow blushed and averted her eyes from his face. “What position?”

 

“Savin’ a human. Quite a hero, aren’t I?”

 

Willow gave him a grateful smile as she followed him to the windows. “I suppose you are. Thank you, Spike.”

Pulling open the doors he stepped out into the night, Willow stood in the doorway breathing in the night air. He turned and considered her thoughtfully. “Hero’s get rewards, don’t they?”

 

Her lips twitched. “I guess so. And I have the feeling you have something specific in mind.”

 

He pinned her with intense blue eyes. “Have somethin’ in mind? Yeah love, lots of having in my mind.”

 

Her jaw dropped open and her mouth worked soundlessly as her face flamed. “I…”

 

Titling his head Spike smirked, it was a soft almost lazy smirk and his eyes fairly gleamed with intent. “Hum, I see.”

 

He stepped away from the window into the shadows of the back garden his black attire swallowed up by the night.

 

Willow blinked. Just what had he meant by that? Before her brain managed to catch up to her body Willow was moving. “Spike!” she stepped out on to the back porch.

 

He appeared out of nowhere, or perhaps her mind was too fuzzy and confused to register where he had actually been standing because he was there, right in front of her the moment she stepped away from the door.

 

Spike swooped down sending her stumbling backwards. Her back hit the window and his hands came up to rest on either side of her head. Willow sucked in a deep breath her whole body going ridged.

 

“No having, huh?” His lips curled into a languid smile. “And yet you took away the safety barrier and invited me into your room.” Dipping and angling his head so that his nose touched her neck Spike inhaled deeply. “I found you so easily through that magic mist of yours by scent alone. Did you know you smell like strawberries? Not just any strawberries, but the kind that ‘ave spent days out in the sun and are wet with mornin’ dew.”

 

Willow’s eyes widened and her lips parted in surprise. “I…um…I…”

 

He trailed a finger down the curve of her neck. “Sweet dreams, pet.”

 

And then he was gone, melting away into the darkness.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

 

“Where have you been? I’ve been looking all over the place for you.”

 

Angel was on him as soon as he walked through the door and Spike let out a heavy breath. “Looks like the fun portion of the evenin’ is about to get started.”

 

Angel glared at him. “Where have you been, Spike?”

 

“Out.”

 

“Oh, out. I wonder why I didn’t think to check there. Out where?”

 

“Just around.” Spike wasn’t inclined to give Angel the details he knew that the giant poof would stick his big fat nose in and try to keep Willow away from him.

 

“Have fun did you?”

 

Spike tucked his tongue into his cheek. “All kinds of parties goin’ on in Sunnyhell if a demon knows where to look. Not sure you’d be welcome though.”

 

Angel's temper flared and his eyes darkened as he fished about in the back pocket of his jeans. “What about these, Spike? What are these?”

 

Spike eyed the pink material fisted in Angel’s hand. “Tights. What did you think they were?”

 

“Well I highly doubt that they’re yours, Spike. You want to explain them?”

 

“They’re tights,” Spike said again. “Women wear ‘em on their legs, under skirts an’ dresses, just like stocking’. You used to know this, Angelus, you used to like to remove ‘em. Guess the Slayer doesn’t wear ‘em.”

 

“This isn’t about Buffy, these are Willow’s, her scent is all over them. Now where did you get them?” Angel demanded taking a threatening step forward.

 

Spike wasn’t threatened by the movement and gave Angel a long, bored look. “Where did I get ‘em? Hum, well considerin’ their Willow’s with her scent all over ‘em I’m gonna say the Watcher gave ‘em to me.”

 

“Spike!” Angel moved swiftly his arm shooting out as he backhanded Spike across the mouth.

 

Taken off guard Spike stumbled backwards tripping over the edge of a rug and landing on the floor. Angel loomed over him shoving the tights under his nose. “What are you doing with these?”

 

“Not the sort of question a gentleman answers now, is it?”

 

Angel was incensed and he looked it. There was a part of him that wanted to beat Spike into submission but there was another part of him, the cool hand of reason that was overpowering his anger and telling him that this was Spike all over, playing games, twisting the truth, manipulating the situation. Angelus had taught Spike well and Angel had a feeling he was falling into his own trap.

 

He straightened up secretly pleased to see the wary look flash in Spike’s eyes. “You’re right, of course you are, and I wouldn’t expect anything other than the most meticulous of manners from you, William. You always were sensitive to a lady and her feelings, weren’t you?” Angel had the satisfaction of seeing the furious expression on Spike’s face before he dropped the tights into Spike’s lap. “I do apologise for my brusque and boorish behaviour, you will no doubt recall that I was not brought up the dandified city gent that you were. I was to be found in a pub with a pint in my hand rather than a flower garden with a book. Do forgive me, William.” He smiled at Spike and left the room.

 

Spike got to his feet almost shaking with fury. He hated being reminded of the pathetically weak man that he had been and since rising again as a vampire Spike had done everything possible to put his human self behind him and create a new legacy. The problem he had was that Angelus wasn’t ashamed of being a drunken, whoring, layabout. For a demon it was nothing to be ashamed of, whereas his poetry writing, simpering, lovelorn fool of a man quite simply was.

 

Stuffing Willow’s tights into the pocket of his duster and silently cursing himself for a fool and leaving them in his room where Angel could find them, although Spike had stupidly not thought of Angel poking about in his room, he went in search of a drink. He spotted Angel in the kitchen as he passed by on the way to the study and paused to watch him drinking a mug of blood. Spike figured he was quite lucky that Willow’s soul didn’t kick up a fuss when he wanted a nice drop of warm human blood.

 

“So, what are you feasting on today? Pig, chicken, what?”

 

Angel glanced at Spike but didn’t reply, he just took another drink.

 

“Personally, I had a nice cool blonde tonight. Remember the last time you had a blonde do you, Angel?”

 

Angel’s fingers tightened on the mug. He knew Spike well enough to know he wasn’t talking about feeding off a woman. He should have kept his mouth shut, he should never have brought up William, it was inevitable that Spike would retaliate and Angel should have known he would use Buffy to do so.

 

“Angel,” Spike said scathingly. “Gotta go and give yourself another name, like it makes a difference to who or what you are. Liam, Angelus, Angel. Man, demon, soul. You do realise that you’re all one an’ the same thing, don’t you?”

 

“Go away, Spike.”

 

Spike laughed shortly. “The man was a drunk, the demon was a legend and the soul is a complete moron. You actually think that being a vampire with a soul makes you any different from being a man with a soul? Your soul is your soul you idiot. It’s yours no matter what form your body takes. The man was a selfish lout and you’ve reverted to form, only your too bloody stupid to see it.” Spike turned on his heel and went into the study satisfied that he had given the Great Brooding One something to choke on.

 

XxX

 

Willow had been surprised when Oz had called that morning and offered to collect her for school as they usually met at her locker. She was glad to say that she was on time this morning too, breakfast eaten, dishes washed, homework completed and bag packed all ready to go when Oz’s van pulled up at the curb and he beeped the horn for her.

 

Oz couldn’t say how relieved he was to see Willow appearing on the porch in a pair of dungarees and a pale yellow top. Her hair bounced on her shoulders as she hopped down the steps and Oz smiled, she looked like Willow today.

 

It might seem like a strange thing to think but Oz didn’t think so. He’d had a nagging feeling since the night of the kidnap that something was off. Not wrong exactly, but definitely off.

 

“Hey,” she climbed into the passenger seat and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

 

She smelt like Willow today too but there was something else mixed up in her scent that Oz couldn’t identify, it made him shiver. “Hey. Are you feeling better?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Your headache.”

 

“Oh, right. Headache. Yes, I’m much better today. You um, you guys didn’t happen to find a cure last night did you?”

 

“Sorry,” Oz said with a shake of his head. “But we’ll find something, I know we will.”

 

Willow smiled and nodded. “It’s only been a couple of days. I’m not worried. We’ll figure things out. Research tonight at the library?”

 

“Cordelia’s even giving up shopping to be there.”

 

Willow’s eyes widened. “She is?”

 

Oz nodded. “I thought I’d do some research into bodysnatching on the side.”

 

“I can’t believe she gave up shopping to help me.”

 

“I think she’s a better person than we all give her credit for. I know she doesn’t show her nice side too often, but she was worried about you when you and Xander disappeared.”

 

“You like her.”

 

“Yes,” Oz agreed. “I do like her. I know there’s a lot not to like, but there’s some good stuff in there too.”

 

Willow felt a bit bad, she hadn’t really given Cordelia much of a chance. Mainly because Cordelia was usually mean to her and then she had broken her heart by dating Xander. But there had been a time when she had presided over tea parties that Cordelia and her dolls had attended and Cordelia did all that she could to help Buffy and she had put her reputation, which meant a lot to Cordelia, on the line to date Xander. That had to mean something, didn’t it?

 

“She’s not all bad,” Willow conceded.

 

Should she be concerned that it was more unsettling to admit that than to think that Spike wasn’t all that bad?

 

Oz chuckled quietly. “How are you feeling, any side effects of the soul spell?”

 

“Not yet,” Willow said. “Is that weird? It’s weird, isn’t it?”

 

Oz shrugged. “I thought that something would be different, but if neither you nor Spike have felt anything different…”

 

“Spike’s had a side effect,” Willow admitted. “Something happened and he felt compassion.”

 

“He did?” Oz nodded thoughtfully. “Well, that’s good, if he’s feeling compassion then he might stop killing people.”

 

“I guess,” Willow said, she hadn’t thought of that and Spike hadn’t complained that his moment of compassion over the kittens had stopped him feeding or killing. She could ask him, although Willow shrank from doing so, finding out that her soul hadn’t stopped Spike killing wasn’t something that she wanted to face.

 

Oz noticed that Willow didn’t go into detail about the incident that had brought compassion out in Spike but he didn’t push it. Willow wouldn’t break a confidence and he would never ask her to.

 

“There’s something I think we need to talk about,” Oz said slowly. “Or at least there’s something that I want to say.”

 

“Okay. What is it?” Willow shifted nervously in her seat.

 

“I want you to know that I’m not jealous that you’ve split your soul with Spike. It wasn’t intentional and I don’t want you to worry about talking to me about how your feeling or what you’re thinking. I want to be there for you and I just wanted you to know that. It doesn’t bother me that it’s Spike. What I mean is, that Spike’s a man, you know?” He frowned it had all sounded much better in his head.

 

Willow took his hand and pressed another kiss to his cheek. “I hadn’t even thought about that. I’m sorry, Oz, I hadn’t thought about how you might be feeling in all of this. I’m a bad girlfriend.”

 

Oz smiled. “No you’re not, Willow. This isn’t happening to me it’s happening to you and if things start getting worse before they get better then I want you to know that you don’t have to worry about my feelings. I don’t want you to worry about upsetting me.”

 

“Thanks, Oz.”

 

They were silent for a while before Oz spoke again. “You smell different.”

 

“I do?” her eyes widened in surprise, that had been the last thing she had expected him to say. “Is it, you know, a bad smell?”

 

“No,” he assured her. “It’s just different. It um, it makes me a bit uneasy, but I don’t know why.”

 

“Uneasy?” Willow bit her bottom lip and stared at him her eyes growing even wider. “That can’t be good, can it? What with your wolfie senses and everything.”

 

“We don’t know that. The uneasiness could be because it’s you and you’re scent is suddenly different and I don’t know why. It doesn’t mean that it’s a bad thing or something we need to worry about.”

 

“We should tell Giles.”

 

Oz nodded. “I think that’s the best thing to do.”

 

“Spike says he can feel it,” she blurted out.

 

“Feel what? You’re soul?” Oz asked surprised. “He can feel it?”

 

Willow nodded. “He says he doesn’t feel it all the time, but he can feel it sometimes. I should tell Giles, shouldn’t I?”

 

“Yeah, tell Giles.”

 

They pulled up into the parking lot and joined the flow of students entering the school. Xander met them by the door his bag half open and swinging off his shoulder and a can of soda in his hand. “You feeling better, Wills? Anyone seen Buffy this morning?”

 

“I’m fine and no I haven’t seen Buffy, we just got here, Xander.”

 

“She could be at the library, that’s where we’re heading,” Oz said. “We need to talk to Giles.”

 

“News?” Xander asked a note of excitement in his voice. Until told otherwise Xander had decided to be optimistic about the soul situation and treat all news as good news. Even if they came to a dead in with research Xander was determined to look at the positives; they no longer needed to waste time on that lead and were getting closer to the actual solution.

 

“Possibly,” Oz said.

 

“Looks like its good news all round today,” Xander said patting his bag. “Finished my history essay late last night and I’m telling you it’s a one way ticket to a sweet D, maybe even a D plus.”

 

Willow paled and her step faltered. She’d forgotten all about her history assignment. A small frown creased her forehead, actually, she hadn’t known about a history assignment. How was it possible for Xander to know about and complete homework when she hadn’t a clue?

 

Then she remembered, she hadn’t been listening during her last history lesson her mind had been full of Spike and fun. The two thoughts married well together, Spike and fun. Willow was freely willing to admit that the first time she had been alone with Spike certainly hadn’t been fun, but the other times had been. She wondered what he was doing now, sleeping most probably. Was he sleeping alone?

 

She sucked in a sharp breath and closed her eyes for a moment in an effort to banish that inappropriate and disloyal thought. Oz was right there beside her holding her hand and yet, Willow glanced down at their joined fingers, it wasn’t the same. She could honestly say that she wasn’t bothered if Oz was there or not.

 

She did care if Spike was alone in bed or not and the thought filled her mind so completely that she didn’t hear a single word of the conversation that passed between Xander and Oz all the way to the library.

 

Buffy was at the library just as Oz had predicted, she was sat on the edge of the table swinging her legs back and forth the short black skirt she wore shifting up and down her thigh with every swing. “Hey guys. How’s my Willow today?”

 

“Fine,” Willow said dropping her bag on the table and sinking into a chair. “Did I miss anything on patrol last night?”

 

“Vamp or two, no biggy.”

 

“Ah Willow,” Giles greeted her as he came scuttling out of his office a book in his hand. “How are you? Any side effects?”

 

Willow’s lips pursed in annoyance. He kept asking her that, they all kept asking her that. She wasn’t stupid, she knew all the “how are you feeling’s” she’d been subjected to that morning were about the soul rather than her headache. She wished people would just stop going on about it, so she’d accidentally split her soul in two, apart from one minor Spike episode neither of them were suffering over the spell. She couldn’t understand why everyone kept treating it as a huge problem.

 

“Only her scent,” Oz said and proceeded to explain his findings to Giles. “And Spike had a moment of compassion. I don’t know what it was exactly but…”

 

“Yes,” Giles interrupted. “I’m aware of that incident, Angel told me about it. Did you notice anything different about Spike’s scent, Oz?”

 

“I haven’t really been around him to notice anything.”

 

“We should check it out, shouldn’t we?” Buffy looked from Oz to Giles.

 

“So, what?” Xander asked confused. “You’re just going to go up to Spike and start sniffing him?”

 

“I don’t think he’d like that,” Oz said.

 

“Neither do I,” Giles murmured.

 

Willow also had the feeling that Spike wouldn’t like it.

 

She didn’t know what, if anything, Oz would find with regards to Spike’s scent but she could say that she really liked the way Spike smelled. She liked the way his hand felt in hers too. She liked that he encouraged her. She liked that he took her seriously. She liked that he wanted her to have fun. She liked that he thought there was more to her than brains and a sense of responsibility. All in all Willow had to conclude that she liked Spike. She liked him a lot.

 

She hoped he was alone.

 

“Now that I have a little more to go on I’ll start looking into it right away,” Giles said closing the book in his hand. “And I know just where to start.”

 

“You get way too excited about books,” Xander said.

 

“Can we help?” Buffy asked.

 

“We’ve got history in five minutes Buffster, and if I have to go then you do to.”

 

Buffy groaned. “Do I have to go to history?”

 

“Misery loves company,” Xander said with a large grin.

 

Willow’s mind spun back to the present; history, homework assignment she hadn’t done. Amy. “I’ll see you guys there, I want to catch Amy before class.”

 

“Oh yes,” Giles nodded. “I wonder if she managed to uncover anything from her mother’s spell books?”

 

“I’ll let you know.” Willow called over her shoulder as she hurried from the room.

 

The corridors were still tightly packed with students and Willow had to elbow her way through to get to Amy’s locker. She was just in time, Amy was shutting the door and walking away. “Amy!”

 

Amy paused and looked over her shoulder. “Willow, hi.” She came back to her locker. “I was going to speak to you after history…”

 

“Speaking of history, could you help me out with a problem?”

 

Amy’s eyebrows rose. “Another problem?”

 

Willow rolled her eyes. “This is a homework one. Can you do that spell for me, the one when the teacher thinks I’ve handed in homework when I haven’t?”

 

“Did you forget to do your homework?”

 

Willow was instantly annoyed. Amy said it as though she it was the most outrageous thing she had ever heard. “Yes.”

 

“Sure, hang back with me so we leave class last and I’ll do it for you. I’ll give you the spell if you like?”

 

“That would be great, thanks.”

 

Amy opened her locker and rummaged about for a minute. “I just never thought to give it to you before because, well, you always do your homework, don’t you?”

 

Irritation prickled beneath her skin and Willow’s fingers curled into fists at her side. Choosing not to respond she said instead, “I was doing a spell last night and it went a bit wonky. Well, actually, it was more than wonky, it was really scary. If Spike hadn’t been there, well, it wouldn’t have been good.”

 

“How do you mean?” Amy produced a small note book from the bottom of her locker and flipped through it.

 

Willow proceeded to explain about the cloaking spell, a shudder running through her as she recounted the events. She could have died. It was a very real possibility that the mist would have choked the life from her if Spike hadn’t have been there.

 

He really was her hero.

 

Pulling a page out of the note book Amy handed it over. “That’s um, that’s pretty scary.”

 

“Yeah it was. Any ideas on how it might have happened? I didn’t realise that a spell could turn on you like that.”

 

“It hasn’t happened to me,” Amy said. “I’d better be careful, huh?”

 

Willow stuffed the piece of paper into her bag. “That’s it? That’s all you can say?”

 

Amy shifted uncomfortably. “What do you want me to say?”

 

Willow sighed a cross look on her face. “Nothing. Are you coming to class?”

 

“I have to go to the bathroom first. I’ll see you there.” Amy watched as Willow walked off with purpose in her steps and she shivered.

 

Instead of going to the bathroom Amy hurried towards the library, even if Buffy had already gone to class Mr Giles would be there and he was the one Amy felt she should talk to anyway.

 

The bell sounded loudly just as she reached the library and Amy picked up her pace barrelling through the swinging doors and hitting Xander straight in the face.

 

“OW!”

 

“Oops, sorry Xander.”

 

“Good shot,” Oz said peering at Xander’s nose.

 

“Thanks a lot buddy.” Cradling his nose Xander glared at Oz.

 

“Willow just left looking for you,” Buffy said. “She wanted…”

 

“I saw her,” Amy said stepping around them and crossing the room towards Giles. “That’s why I’m here.”

 

“Is something wrong with Willow?” Buffy was immediately alert.

 

“Oh yeah,” Amy said with feeling. “Something’s wrong with Willow alright.”

 

“What does that mean?” Oz demanded abandoning all thoughts of class as he fixed Amy with an intense stare.

 

“She just told me about the cloaking spell she did last night. You and I both know that wasn’t supposed to happen,” Amy said looking at Giles. “But she didn’t know what it meant, or what it could mean. She should be told, Mr. Giles.”

 

“Spell?” Giles looked puzzled. “What spell?”

 

“The cloaking spell that turned on her.”

 

“We weren’t with Willow last night,” Xander said dropping his bag on the counter top. “She was at home with a headache.”

 

“She might have been at home but she didn’t have a headache and she wasn’t alone either,” Amy told him firmly. “She just told me about practicing a cloaking spell with someone called Spike. The spell is supposed to use mist to hide something, I could do it to hide myself from you, or stop you finding the door and leaving the room, that kind of thing.”

 

“Handy,” Oz murmured.

 

Amy nodded. “The problem is that Willow’s mist was black and cold and it turned on her and tried to choke her…”

 

“What?” Buffy was horrified.

 

“Willow’s spells have never done anything like that before,” Oz said.

 

“Losing control like that is dangerous,” Giles said taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. “It can result in catastrophe as Willow almost found out.”

 

“Exactly,” Amy agreed. “But any witch can lose control of a spell, that’s not the worrying part. The mist from a cloaking spell is just mist, like any other fog you come across its not back and icy cold. I looked through some of my mother’s books yesterday, there wasn’t anything interesting in the ones I had but my dad brought some down from the attic. They belonged to my grandmother and my mother didn’t even know they were in the house, and after reading some of them I know why. She was dangerous enough as it was.”

 

“What did you find out?” Giles leant heavily against the edge of the table.

 

“I haven’t found anything on Willow’s specific situation, but there was something about halving a soul. Turns out you can do that if your powerful enough, but it’s usually…”

 

“Part of a ritual,” Giles finished. “I read that too.”

 

Amy nodded. “Yes, I almost skipped over the whole section because I know Willow didn’t perform a ritual to raise a demon or make a deal or anything like that, but I did read the end about the effect half a soul can have on a witches casting.”

 

Giles straightened a little. “Well yes, of course, there’s only half of what was once whole, there probably would be an effect.”

 

“There is, although it’s not always a conscious one,” Amy explained. “With only half a soul the witch or warlock is left open and vulnerable to the dark part of their personality that the whole soul can easily suppress.”

 

“Some magic is dark,” Giles said quietly. “Very dark indeed. Other spells can be used either way depending on the caster and the intention.”

 

Amy nodded. “I don’t think Willow meant the cloaking spell to turn out the way that it did, but somehow the magic tapped into the darker side of her personality, or the darker side tapped into the spell, I’m not sure how it works exactly, and the spell turned dark.”

 

“Willow doesn’t have a dark personality!” Xander said insulted and infuriated on his best friends behalf.

 

“We all have a dark side, Xander,” Giles said patiently. “Mostly our soul, our humanity, our innate sense of right and wrong guides us and the darker parts of us never fully emerge. We all say and do things in anger that we wouldn’t generally do and that’s usually the dark side of us coming out for a short time. But witches and warlocks, they’re much more susceptible to their own darkness, magic can do that to a person no matter how good they are, dark magic has a pull all of its own.”

 

“I don’t think Willow was trying to use dark magic,” Amy insisted.

 

“Oh no,” Giles agreed quickly. “No I don’t think that Willow was trying to do that. But I do think you’re right, Amy. Her magic and the darker side of her did merge when she cast that spell and it could have ended up killing her and anyone who was with her; cloaking them from life itself.”

 

“That’s it,” Oz said suddenly. “That’s why I have this uneasy feeling. I just keep feeling that something is off when I’m with her, and her scent, it’s not wrong, but off.”

 

Giles pushed off from the table, his movements jerky and agitated as he paced to the counter and back again. “The “off” as you put it is the absence of her complete soul, it’s not “wrong” because we all have that darker side to us and I believe that what you’re sensing is Willow’s darker side surfacing.”


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 

The commotion downstairs didn’t wake Spike exactly, but he was in that place between sleep and awake when he was aware that something was going on. Angel was shouting, a door slammed and feet could be heard clomping up the stairs.

The bedroom door flung open and Angel almost fell through it. “Spike!”

Spike groaned and turned his head away from the door pressing his face into the pillow in the hopes that the giant poof would go away.

“Spike!” Angel staggered over to the bed looming over Spike’s prone form. “I know you’re awake.”

“’Course I’m awake, be easier to sleep through a stampede of wild elephants than you galloping ‘bout the place. Why the hell are you up at this ungodly hour?”

“I need you…”

“You wanna rephrase that?”

Angel scowled at Spike’s back. “I need you to come with me.”

Spike groaned again lifting his pillow and pulling it over his head. “Sleepin’ now. Come back later.”

“No! Now!” Angel insisted grabbing hold of Spike’s arm and tugging him. “Now, Spike.”

“I’m naked,” Spike complained pulling his arm back and struggling into a sitting position.

Angel shook his head. “I don’t care. I need you to do something for me.”

Spike’s eyebrow lifted. “When I’m naked?”

“Here,” Angel stooped, picking up a pair of black jeans he tossed them into Spike’s lap. “Put these on and hurry up. I need you to come with me.”

Spike got up and pulled on the jeans, but he made sure to grouse about it under his breath. “What’s the big emergency?”

Angel was in the doorway looking up and down the corridor his body filled with nervous energy. Spike had to admit he was slightly concerned, he hadn’t seen Angel like this before, if he had been human Spike thought Angel might start hyperventilating and sweating he was so agitated.

“Come with me,” Angel gestured and then took off down the stairs.

“Drama queen.” Spike rolled his eyes and followed behind Angel his bare feet made no noise on cold marble of the stairs. “What is it?”

“In there,” Angel pointed towards the living room.

Spike eyed him suspiciously. “What’s in there?”

“Just look,” Angel insisted rubbing a hand across his forehead.

He didn’t immediately go into the room, instead Spike stared hard at the half open door his ears straining, his nose twitching as he tried to gage what was in there; if it could harm him in some way, if it was the Slayer and a trap of some sort. Although, why Angel would bother to set a trap for him when he could have captured him easily enough when he was asleep Spike didn’t know.

When he was satisfied that he couldn’t sense anything or anyone in the room, no heartbeat, no breathing, no scent; Spike pushed open the door taking the dark room in at a glance. Frowning at the empty space he took a step forward and looked around again.

“What am I lookin’ at?”

Angel appeared at his elbow, standing so close to him that Spike pulled an annoyed face. “It’s empty.” Angel moved further into the room and turned in a circle.

“Well that’s just great. Thanks ever so much for wakin’ me up an’ draggin’ me down here just to state the bloody obvious. You really know how to show your guests a good time, don’t you, Peaches. I’m ‘avin’ a ball.”

“They were here.”

“Who? You’re imaginary friends?”

Running a hand through his hair Angel turned to face Spike. “No… there!”

He pointed just off to Spike’s right but when Spike turned to look he saw nothing. “Been drinkin’ by any chance?”

“And there,” Angel said pointing to his left and taking a frightened step back. “This isn’t funny, Spike.”

“I know, bleedin’ tragic is what it is. You can’t hold your liquor anymore.”

“I haven’t been drinking!” Angel looked wild. “Are you seriously telling me you don’t see them?”

Spike threw his hands up in the air. “There’s nobody here, you bloody idiot. What’s wrong with you?”

“Daniel,” Angel whispered his eyes glued to Spike’s right where a man stood, dressed in a black jacket and trousers with a white shirt, tall with dark curly hair and eyes full of judgement and condemnation.

“Daniel?” Spike looked to his right again but still he saw nothing. “Who’s Daniel?”

Angel swallowed gripping his head for a moment and squeezing his eyes tightly shut as the ghost of Daniel moved from Spike’s side to circle him like a shark. Angel hadn’t heard Daniel’s voice since the Christmas of 1838 when he had drained the life from him in an alley way in Dublin; but it was as though it were yesterday the sound was so familiar to him.

_I was to be married that week_

Daniel’s Irish brogue filled his head and Angel turned away from him only to come face to face with another man, dressed and pressed in a suit a tie; an ordinary man who looked as though he had just stepped out of any ordinary office building on any ordinary street in any ordinary little town. Angel backed away from him his hands up as though he could ward off the ghost.

_The thing I remember most was how artful it was._

“Angel?” Spike was now genuinely concerned, Angel was panting heavily and fear was pouring off him in great waves.

“You don’t see them?” Angel gasped his head jerking from side to side.

“No, I don’t see anythin’.” Spike reached out and took hold of Angel’s arm. “What’s goin’ on?”

“They’re here, they’re in my dreams, they’re haunting me, Spike.”

“Who are?”

“The people I’ve killed.”

Spike let out a sigh. “Bloody hell, that’s one hell of a hauntin’ the list is endless.”

Angel’s face fell even further, it didn’t help matters that Spike was right. He was seeing Daniel and Travis right now, but who else would pop up? These people he knew, but what about the nameless faceless people he had murdered over the years?

_That’s what makes you different to other beasts. They kill to feed. But you took more kinds of pleasure in it than any creature that walks or crawls._

“Oh God,” Angel spun round, falling to his knees as she knelt down beside him, a young girl with curly blonde hair tucked beneath a crisp white cap, Margaret, the maid he had killed at a party one night long ago.

Spike squatted down on his haunches and surveyed the trembling Angel with worried eyes. “What can I do?” Lost for inspiration on how to fight or get rid of something he couldn’t even see Spike did the only thing he could think of, he stood up and threw his arms out. “Stop! Be gone ghosts!” He looked around but nothing appeared to have happened. “Did it work?”

Angel frowned up at him. “What the hell was that?”

Spike shrugged. “Dunno, I think I saw it on TV once. Did it do anythin’?”

Still shaking Angel got to his feet. “Yeah.” He was astounded, they were all gone.

Running a hand through his rumpled hair Spike took a seat on the hearth. “You see ghosts often?”

“Never before.” Angel joined him clasping his fingers together and hunching over his knees

“You dream about the days of Angelus often?”

“Sometimes,” Angel admitted. “Not so much now, not for a long time, but once, yeah I did. All the time. It was the guilt of the soul.”

Spike rubbed his chest absently glad that Willow’s soul wasn’t inflicting him with that kind of torture. “Your problem is that you won’t accept anythin’ that you’ve done.”

“I know what I’ve done,” Angel snapped. “I deal with the guilt of every life I’ve taken every day.”

“Pfft,” Spike waved a hand dismissively. “No you don’t. You brood about every killin’ every day, you flog your precious soul with it every day, but you don’t accept it. What’s done is done, it’s in the past, Angel an’ you can’t change it no matter how much you might want to. What you gotta do now is accept it and forget it.”

“Forget it?” Angel stared stupidly at him. “What do you mean, ‘forget it’, how do you expect me to forget the things I’ve done, the things that we’ve done? You were there for a lot of it, remember.”

“Yeah I was, but I don’t cry about it, I’m still evil. You on the other hand, you don’t seem to grasp the fact that you’re good now.”

Angel scowled, he said it so snidely, so mockingly that it left Angel in no doubt whatsoever what Spike really thought about things.

“Maybe forget isn’t the right word,” Spike spoke slowly, comforting Angel was new to him and he wasn’t sure how to go about it. “But accept is the right word. You have to acknowledge what you’ve done, feel real remorse about it and then put it in the past.”

“I do feel remorse.”

Spike stared at Angel for a long time. “No you don’t, you let the guilt eat you up every day but you feel bad ‘cos of how it makes you feel. Remorse isn’t about how your actions affect you but how they affect other people.”

Angel was silent for a while. “What do you suggest?”

Spike grumbled. “If you’re the one lookin’ for forgiveness why ‘ave I gotta think of everything?” Still, he rested his elbow on his knee, placed his chin in his hand and gave the matter some thought. “You gotta embrace your shame,” he said at last. “And you gotta say goodbye to Angelus. You let Angelus go, bury him in the past and it’s over.”

“You think it’s going to be that easy?” Angel said a look of disbelief crossing his face.

“I never said it was goin’ to be easy.”

“It might help if I knew why I was back. I mean, I’m supposed to be suffering an eternity of torture in a hell dimension somewhere and instead I’m back here. Why? What reason could there be for me to be here? Who brought me back?”

“What am I, an oracle?” Spike asked testily. “How the bloody hell should I know why you’re back. But that’s it,” Spike snapped his fingers. “That’s your problem, you think you should suffer for what you’ve done, you think you deserve an eternity of torture and what not and that’s not gonna ease your guilt. You wanna stop feelin’ bad, you want redemption, try workin’ for it. Redemption don’t come easy you gotta earn it. Try makin’ _amends_ for what you’ve done instead of broodin’ about it all the soddin’ time.”

“You’re right, Spike.”

“I know.” Spike yawned and stood up. “You could always talk to the Watcher. He might ‘ave a book or fifty you could read.”

“I might,” Angel said. “Giles doesn’t really like to be around me and I don’t want to bother him for something personal, not after…”

“You tortured him?”

“Yeah.”

“And killed his girlfriend.”

“Yes,” Angel said through grit teeth.

“Fine. Whatever. Now that we’ve saved your soul can I go back to bed?”

Angel gave him a small smile. “Yeah, thanks, Spike.”

Spike was at the door when he stopped dead in his tracks and spun round to stare horrified at Angel. “I just counselled you.”

Angel nodded. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“I felt sympathy for you and I wanted to help!” He made a loud, frustrated noise. “I’m gonna strangle that witch!”

Angel grinned as Spike stormed from the room leaving a trail of colourful curses behind him.

XxX

Buffy, Xander and Amy arrived at history together, unfortunately, not before their teacher who gave them each a long, disapproving look for being late. Buffy was pleased to see that Willow was already in class her head bent over a book and her finger moving along the page.

Amy took a seat in corner of the front row, Xander managed to snag a seat towards the back three desks away from Willow and spent the majority of his time staring at the back of Willow’s head, and Buffy found herself in the row behind Willow two seats over.

Pulling her books out of her bag Buffy bent her head pretending to read along with the rest of the class, but her eyes were on Willow, her seat gave her a good view of her friend and Buffy watched her avidly. Willow looked no different to Buffy than she usually did, no matter how hard she stared at the side of Willow’s face Buffy saw nothing new, nothing different, nothing dark at all.

It defied belief that Willow could be dark in any way. It was _Willow_ for God’s sake. If ever a person was good it was her. Willow was kind, generous, understanding; way better than her and Buffy squirmed a little at the knowledge. Willow had been there for her when she had ran away after sending Angel to hell, she had been there for her when Angel had come back and Buffy felt terrible for the moment of doubt she’d had after hearing what Amy and Giles had to say.

She had killed Angel, ran him through with a sword and sent him to hell; the man she loved, the man she would always love. Wasn’t that a horrible, cruel thing to do, sending him to hell with a soul intact? But she had done it to save the world, did that make it okay? Did that make it not terrible? Did that make it a good thing and her good? Or did it still make her wrong, make her dark? Could she have done anything darker than that?

Willow hadn’t done anything on that scale and just because she’d spent some time with Spike and told a few little lies, her friends were all suddenly so concerned and condemning her. Buffy rubbed at her temples, she wasn’t being a good friend, Willow hadn’t judged her and she sure as hell wasn’t going to start judging Willow either.

So Willow had performed a spell and it had gone a bit wonky, so what? That didn’t mean Willow was going dark for goodness sake. How Amy and Giles could say that was beyond her, especially Giles, he had seen dark, they all had. Angel had gone dark, Spike was dark, Drusilla was dark, the Master was dark; Willow was nothing like any of them and Buffy fully intended to remind the others of that.

They had all seen what losing a soul could do to someone, Xander had taken it upon himself to stake Jessie when he had turned after all and they had all suffered one way or the other when Angelus had returned. Willow still had her soul, Willow was still good, Willow was still Willow.

By the time class ended Buffy was resolved to be a better friend and not judge if Willow chose to spend some time with Spike. It made some sort of weird sense however much Buffy didn’t like it, after all, Spike did have part of Willow attached to him now.

After packing up her things Buffy went to hand in her homework with the others and lingered about outside the classroom waiting for Willow. Xander and Cordelia joined her a few moments later and Cordelia immediately began telling them of her plans for the Christmas vacation.

Willow hung back as Amy had instructed, slowly putting her belongings away before joining Amy at the front of the class. Amy said nothing, she merely looked long and hard at the teacher who smiled and thanked her for handing in her homework. Willow couldn’t help admiring Amy’s technique, she hoped to one day be able to perform magic without having to cast the spell out loud. Amy repeated the spell for her.

“Thanks, Amy.”

“No problem, happy to help. If you got the power, use it, right?" Amy smiled and lifted her shoulder in a little shrug.

“Skiing,” Cordelia was saying when Willow and Amy joined the others. “In Aspen, with real snow.”

“Sounds fun,” Buffy said.

“It’ll be a relief to get out of Sweaty-Dale,” Cordelia said fanning herself with a book.

“I’ll see you later,” Amy nodded at Xander and Buffy and wandered off to the right.

“I’d better get going too, I have psychology at the other end of the building,”Cordelia made an unnecessary gesture with her hand. “I’ll be by later for research.”

“I’ll see you then,” Xander gave her cheek a parting kiss and Cordelia smiled, pleased.

Linking her arm through Willow’s Buffy tugged her into a walk. “Can we talk?”

“Sure.”

Xander fell into step on her other side. “Anything you want to tell us?”

Willow frowned. “Like what?”

“Like what you were doing last night,” Xander said giving her a meaningful look. “You were with Spike, Amy told us.”

Willow rolled her eyes and sighed in annoyance. “Talk about ratting me out.”

“You could have told us, Wills,” Buffy scolded gently. “If you want to talk to Spike you don’t have to hide it from us, just, you know, do it where we can keep an eye on him.”

Willow’s eyes narrowed. “Excuse me?”

“It’s Spike,” Buffy said making a face. “Evil vampire Spike, we just…”

“The same evil vampire Spike you did a deal with,” Willow reminded her.

“That was different,” Xander said. “We all wanted the same thing, we all wanted to stop Angelus and Spike helped us out.”

“How is that different to now?” Willow stopped walking and faced Xander full on. “You want my soul back together and he wants it out of him. You want the same thing.”

Xander shifted about on his toes a confused look on his face. “Well, yeah…”

“And,” Willow turned to face Buffy. “There’s no need for you to keep an eye on Spike, he’s not going to hurt me and I don’t insist on keeping my eye on you.”

Buffy looked blank. “Me?”

“You,” Willow agreed a cross look on her face. “One little slip up on your part and its bye bye Angel, hello Angelus, and yet I don’t tell you not to hang around with Angel, do I? Seems to me that with the way you feel about Angel, the two of you together are a hazard just waiting to happen.”

“I…” Buffy blinked, her cheeks flushing uncomfortably. “That’s not even an issue.”

“Oh it’s an issue alright,” Willow said with a nod. “You can’t stay away from him, it’s like you’re obsessed, and sooner or later you’re going to give into temptation.”

“That’s so not what I want to hear,” Xander said with a groan.

“That’s not going to happen,” Buffy said, although even she noticed that her voice lacked conviction.

“You want it to,” Willow said withdrawing her arm from Buffy’s grasp. “That’s enough.”

“Nothing is going to happen with me and Angel,” Buffy insisted her gut twisting with longing.

“Can we change the subject, please?” Xander begged. “Let’s talk about your spell instead, huh, Wills?”

“Amy told you about that too?”

“Yeah she did and it doesn’t sound good, Willow.”

Willow sighed and nodded. “That wasn’t so good,” she admitted. “I’m not sure what would have happened if Spike hadn’t been there.”

“You wouldn’t have been doing the spell if Spike hadn’t have been there,” Buffy pointed out. “You would have been with us.”

Willow bristled. She’d been practicing spells to help Buffy, the only reason she had gotten involved with magic in the first place was because of her and Buffy was acting as though she had done something wrong.

“Maybe you shouldn’t do any magic for a while,” Buffy suggested, the very idea of Willow casting a spell that had gone so wrong and almost resulted in killing her didn’t bear thinking about.

She stared at Buffy completely taken aback. “You weren’t saying that when I tried putting Angel’s soul back. I’m only allowed to do spell’s that you approve of now, am I?”

“What? No,” Buffy shook her head. “That’s not what I’m saying. I don’t…”

“You don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t do, Buffy. You don’t get to decide if or when I practice magic.”

“I’m not saying that, I…You know me, Wills I’ve always got one foot or the other in my mouth, nothing I’m saying is coming out right. I just want you to be safe. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“There’s more chance of something happening to me whenever I go anywhere with you than there is when I practice a spell, but you don’t seem too concerned about that,” Willow retorted.

“That’s a bit harsh, Wills,” Xander said.

“It’s only the truth.”

Buffy looked crushed, she was unsure what to say in response, she could hardly argue the point when Willow was right. Taking hold of Willow’s arm she pulled her to a stop. “Xan, can you give us a minute?”

He nodded giving Willow a long look before walking away completely unsettled with what he had just heard. He’d never known Willow to behave like that before and he’d known her since kindergarten.

“Willow, I…” Buffy sighed heavily and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “…I know that you don’t have to help me and do what you do. I know you do it because you’re my friend and you’re always there for me no matter what dangerous situation I get myself into. You’re a good friend, Wills, the best, and I’m trying to do what’s right. I may be the Slayer but I’m your friend first.”

“You’re such a good friend too.”

Buffy flinched at the cold, mocking tone.

“A good friend like you would always be sensitive to my feelings and wouldn’t do anything to hurt me in any way, would you? A good friend like you wouldn’t dance with Xander as if you were in the middle of a mating ritual, writhing and brushing up against him like some sort of pole dancer, not when you knew how strongly I felt about him. You wouldn’t do that, not in front of me, would you? You wouldn’t hurt your friend like that, would you? You wouldn’t forget all about me, wouldn’t build Xander’s hopes up just to make Angel jealous. A good friend like you wouldn’t ignore the feelings of your two only friends for a vampire, would you?”

Buffy’s lips parted in a soundless gasp her eyes widening to their utmost as a wave of shame rolled over her.

“You don’t think of anything else when Angel’s around, all you want is to be the centre of his attention and to hell with everything and everyone else.”

“No,” Buffy whispered shaking her head vigorously.

“Yes,” Willow corrected. “And if it wasn’t for you maybe Miss Calendar would still be alive right now. If you weren’t so busy playing the wounded lover and did your job as a Vampire Slayer Angelus would never have had the opportunity to kill her. But Xander was right, wasn’t he? You wanted to forget about everything Angelus did so that you could get Angel back. Everything always has to be about you, doesn’t it?”

Readjusting her bag on her shoulder Willow pushed her hair behind her ear and smiled. “I’m going to be late for English now, better get going.”

She left Buffy standing in the corridor staring after her a look of utter shock on her face. Sinking back against the lockers Buffy blinked back the tears that stung her eyes, Willow had been her friend when no-one else had bothered and she hadn’t thought about Willow once during that dance with Xander, all she had been concerned about was showing Angel what he was missing, what could be his. Buffy closed her eyes in distress, she was a shallow, selfish person and in that moment she really didn’t like herself at all.

She had never thought she’d live to see the day that Willow could be so cold, so unfeeling towards her or anyone for that matter. Willow wasn’t like this, Willow was warm and caring, she was nice to everyone even when they didn’t really deserve it.

Buffy’s head lifted slowly and she scrubbed at her eyes with her fist. Giles had said that Angel had told him Spike had felt compassion and they believed it was the influence of Willow’s soul, could it be that the Willow she had just encountered with the frostiness and the hostility was an effect of losing part of her soul to Spike?

Pushing off from the locker Buffy turned away from her English class and trotted off to the library, she really hoped this was a side effect because it meant that there was a way to fix it and make Willow all Willowy again. Buffy wasn’t sure she could handle much more of Willow and her new desire to tell the truth, the truth hurt and forced her to see herself in a new light, a very unflattering light and Buffy didn’t like it at all.

She wanted Spike gone and Willow whole again.

Replaying her conversation with Willow over and over again in her head Buffy had just reached the library when she remembered something Willow had said and gasped out loud. “Giles!” she yelled as she flew through the doors. “Giles!”

“Good Lord, Buffy,” Giles exclaimed jumping in his seat. “What is it?”

“Willow, she said ‘you want my soul back together’ she didn’t say ‘I want my soul back together’. Willow doesn’t see this soul split thing as a problem!”

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

 

“Spike!”

Spike groaned, he was sitting on the edge of the bed tying his boot laces when Angel’s voice bounced down the hallway. “He’s managed without me for a hundred years an’ now he wants me to be his bloody nursemaid.”

Getting up he left the bedroom and went straight to Angel’s room, highly amused to see Angel struggling to untangle himself from the bed sheets.

“Spike!”

“What?” Spike propped himself up in the doorway.

Panting, Angel looked up relief crossing his face when he saw Spike standing there. Going to the chest of drawers he pulled out a sweater with shaking hands. “I had a dream.”

“And?”

Angel swallowed and wiped a hand across his face. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “You’re just like Martin Luther King, aren’t you?”

“She’s here,” Angel whispered his eyes drifting to the bottom of the bed. He scrambled back a few paces. “Do that thing again, Spike. Make her go away.”

Holding out his hands again Spike said firmly. “Be gone ghosts!”

Jenny Calendar tilted her head and studied Spike quizzically for a moment before turning to Angel. “Is he for real?”

“It worked last time,” Angel said looking desperately from Spike to Jenny.

Jenny shook her head, “No it didn’t. He has no power over us, we chose to leave.” She wandered closer to Angel who moved closer to Spike, he felt just a little bit safer with Spike there. “He’s handsome, isn’t he? And so very wicked.”

Angel nodded. “What do you want?”

“I want to die in bed surrounded by my grandchild but that’s not going to happen now, is it?”

“I’m sorry,” Angel took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for what I did to you.”

Spike sighed and scratched his head, he was getting pretty board of Angel and his ghosts. “Whose here?”

“Jenny Calendar.”

“The Watcher’s bit of fluff? Weren’t she a gypsy?”

“Yes,” Angel scooted closer to Spike the closer Jenny came to him. “Leave me alone,” he pleaded. “I can’t take back what I did, I wish I could but I can’t.”

Jenny tutted. “Of course you can’t take it back, you are what you are, Angel; a monster.”

“No, I have a soul now.”

Spike groaned. “A soul doesn’t make you good, you know.”

“Shut up, Spike!”

Jenny smiled at Spike. “He’s right though, isn’t he? You had a soul once before, didn’t you?” she laughed and shook her head, her dark hair grazing her chin. “And what a soul it was, what a man you were, a drunk, a layabout, more concerned with whoring than anything else. You were a disgrace to your family and a bitter disappointment to you father.”

Angel flinched, it was true that he hadn’t been the best man he could have been. “I was young,” he said. “I didn’t have a chance to live properly, I…”

“What’s she sayin’?” Spike interrupted. “Why don’t you show yourself?” he yelled at the empty room.

“Why can’t Spike see you?”

Drifting up to his side Jenny leant close to whisper into his ear. “It’s not Spike’s time.” Her fingers traced his cheek. “I’m here for you, Angel. I’m here to help you.”

“H…help me?” Angel stammered, that was news, so far all the ghosts’ had done was torment him.

“Well of course help you,” Jenny gave him an encouraging smile. “I’m here to help you end all that guilt and misery you carry with you every day, Angel.” Her voice lowered and her eyes fixed him with a knowing look. “I know what you want, and if you just take what you want, Angel it’ll all be over.”

“W…what?”

“Angel?” Spike prodded him in the shoulder. “What’s she sayin’?”

“She… she wants to help me.”

“Oh,” Spike said surprised. “Bet you feel stupid now, don’t ya? All that fuss you made over nothin’.”

Shaking his head Angel pressed the heel of his hand against his temple, something wasn’t quite right he could feel it, but he didn’t know what it was. Looking up, searching for Jenny again, a wave of fear washed over him when Angel found himself staring at himself.

It was a scene he knew well, a party in Dublin, he wore a stylish, velvet burgundy coat and his hair was longer, flowing like dark silk to his shoulders and he sported a moustache that curled along his upper lip. He was holding a girl by her arm, Margaret, the maid with the curly blonde hair, crisp frilly cap and the starched white apron. She was terrified, pleading with him to let her go; she thought he wanted something else from her, she thought he wanted what was beneath her long skirts; he didn’t, he wanted what coursed through her veins.

Angel heard himself speak in lilting Irish tones that hadn’t passed his lips in over a century.

_Come, make a scene, huh? Shall I?_

_No, no. We'll be as quiet as mice._

Angel could do nothing but watch as Angelus pulled Margaret closer, his face changing, his fangs coming out and he bit down on her exposed neck draining the life from her.

Squeezing his eyes shut for a moment Angel hoped the scene would be gone when he opened them again; but it wasn’t and there was an extra in it this time. His eyes widened in shock. “Buffy!”

“What?” Spike looked behind him seeming as the Slayer wasn’t in front of him, but it was still just him and Angel in the room. “Look, Angel, you ‘ave to….”

“I have to get out of here,” Angel spun round almost knocking Spike off balance and he raced from the room his feet pounding on the stairs.

Spike let out a long sigh. “He’s lost it, he’s finally lost it.”

 

XxX

Giles had insisted that Buffy go home at the end of the school day, she had promised her mother they would go shopping for a Christmas tree and besides, she had been so agitated over her exchange with Willow that Giles felt it would be better for Buffy to do something normal for a few hours and try and put Willow out of her mind.

Just what had passed between them Buffy hadn’t said, he knew only that Willow been rather harsh. He too had been concerned when Buffy had told him, Willow wasn’t like that, she was nice to everyone and so inoffensive that Giles sometimes thought she should take a firmer stance with people. He too was guilty of taking advantage of her kind nature on occasion and he felt bad about it.

Most disturbing though, was the new idea that Willow didn’t think the new split status of her soul was that big a deal. It made sense to him now that he thought about it, Willow was always first to help research, she always had her own ideas of where to look for the answers; but twice she had chosen to disregard researching a solution to her problem and go off with Spike instead. As much as Giles would like to lay the blame at Spike’s door something told him that it wasn’t as simple as Spike being a bad influence.

Xander, Cordelia and Oz were all sitting around the table each engrossed in a book. Giles had, for the moment, elected not to say anything to them about his and Buffy’s suspicions; he felt it was best not to upset them before he spoke to Willow.

With a sigh Giles shut the chest that Angel had brought over and placed it on the counter top ready for collection. Although there were some interesting bits and pieces in there it held no information that helped in their current situation. Giles didn’t like to admit it, and he certainly wasn’t going to tell the others, but he was running out of ideas and exhausting all avenues of exploration.

He looked up as the door opened and Willow came shuffling in, she looked around her warily. “Hey guys, um, no Buffy?”

“I was just wondering about that,” Cordelia said looking to Giles for answers.

Giles cleared his throat. “Buffy has gone with her mother to shop for Christmas trees.”

“What?” Cordelia was outraged. “She’s the Slayer and she’s gone shopping when the rest of us have given up that fun and natural pastime to be here reading these boring books with no information in them whatsoever. Someone needs to get her priorities straight.”

Willow bit her lip and twisted her fingers together. “I guess I don’t blame her for not wanting to see me right now.”

“Buffy has been here,” Giles assured her quickly. “I sent her home. She’ll be back a little later.”

Cordelia looked confused. “What happened?”

“Did you two have a fight after I left?” Xander asked.

Willow considered the question. “No,” she said slowly. “I don’t think we had a fight exactly.”

“Well what did happen?” Cordelia asked impatiently.

“We had words, I suppose you could say.” Willow replied. “I guess I said some stuff to her that I shouldn’t have said.”

“Like what?”

Oz’s lips twitched into a small smile at Cordelia’s insistence at being included in all kinds of gossip. “We all say things we don’t mean when we have a disagreement, I’m sure Buffy’s not upset or taking it personally. Whatever it is.”

Willow winced. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that. I said a lot of stuff I shouldn’t have, once you’ve said something you can’t take it back no matter how much you try. You can’t make someone not hear something once they have.”

“I’m sure she knows that you didn’t mean it.” Oz wasn’t the type to pry and poke into other people’s business not even his girlfriends. If Willow wanted him to know what had happened between her and Buffy then she would tell him in her own good time, and if she didn’t, that was okay too.

“But I did mean it,” Willow admitted. “I just shouldn’t have said it.”

Xander stared at her for a long moment. “Did you say….I mean, was it along the lines of the stuff I heard?”

Willow nodded. “Something like that.”

He let out a breath and picked up the book he had been reading. Xander had to admit that he was glad he hadn’t been there for the rest of it, it was difficult to criticize Willow for speaking her mind when it was along the same lines as his own thoughts.

“If we can put that aside for now,” Giles said pushing his glasses up his nose. “We have more important things to worry about.”

“Not Buffy evidently,” Cordelia muttered.

Willow took a seat next to Oz and smiled wanly when his arm encircled her shoulders pulling her closer to rest against him. He pressed a kiss to her temple and rubbed her arm soothingly. “Everyone fights, you and Buffy have had disagreements before.”

“Not like this,” Willow said her voice low and strained.

She could have ruined her friendship with Buffy today and for what? She no longer had a thing for Xander, it was strange how quickly that had petered out after the kidnapping. Xander hadn’t entered her head in any lust filled day dreams at all and he hadn’t so much as hinted that his lusty feelings were still running rampant. So why had she brought up that dance to Buffy? It was in the past, it was over and done with and had no bearing on anything that was going on now, what difference did it make?

And how could she have said those things about Angel, about Angelus, about Miss Calendar? She had been unnecessarily cruel and now Willow couldn’t say exactly why. She wanted to apologise and take it all back but she knew in her heart that it wouldn’t matter what she said to Buffy, her words would still be between them.

“Willow, could I perhaps have a private word with you?” Giles asked gesturing towards his office.

“Sure, Giles.” She kissed Oz lightly, waiting for that familiar feeling of warmth at the softness of his lips against hers. Oz kissage had always been like a warm bubble bath at the end of a gruelling day; bliss.

Except now it wasn’t.

Oz caught her shoulders as she kissed him harder searching for that blissful Oz feeling; but it was absent, she couldn’t find it.

“Get a room,” Cordelia huffed from across the table.

“Yeah, best friends present and kinda wigged,” Xander added.  

Releasing Oz her brow furrowed, Willow got up and followed Giles into the office. “What’s the matter, Giles? Is this about Buffy?”

“No, Buffy hasn’t revealed any of the details to me,” he assured her. “This is about your soul.”

“What about it?”

“Is it causing you problems?”

“No, not really.”

“Any discomfort?”

Willow shook her head.

“Do you see it as a problem, Willow?”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, the situation with Spike, you only having part of your soul. Do you see it as a problem?”

“You don’t know how to reverse what I’ve done, do you?” she guessed.

Giles shook his head. “Not at the moment, that doesn’t mean we won’t find a way to do it. I’m just a little concerned as to how you’re handling everything.”

“I’m dealing,” she said with a smile. “Really, I’m fine, Giles. No problems at all.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” he said taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s not like you to lie to us or to duck out on research when you promised to be here. I’m worried that we’re starting to see, at least in some small part, a side effect of only half a soul.”

She didn’t respond right away, instead she simply stared at Giles as though he had announced he was going to quit the Counsel to join a chorus line in Las Vegas. “But that’s ridiculous, Giles. Are you saying I can’t have fun and live my life without there being some sort of ulterior motive?”

“No of course not!”

“I wanted to have some fun, Giles, I wanted to have a night for myself for once. It’s my life and I’m entitled to live it however I want to.”

“Well yes of course, nobody is disputing that Willow. I appreciate all that you do here and I know Buffy does too. You’re invaluable to us both and I do understand that it is not your calling and you are entitled to spend your evenings as you please. But, something has been brought to my attention and I think its worth paying attention to.”

“Oh? What is it?” Her curiosity came rushing to the forefront, Willow was a natural problem solver, she loved to discover the answers.

Slowly, to ensure that she took it all in and had the opportunity to ask questions if she wished to, Giles recounted Amy’s findings and his own thoughts. “Amy will provide me with further books that belonged to her grandmother, there may be more information in those.”

“You… you think I’m going dark?” Willow’s voice was a strained whisper.

“Not exactly going dark,” Giles said awkwardly. “We all have darkness in us, Willow, and you’re no exception. Just look at Angel and Spike, we’ve seen what happens when the soul departs the body, darkness is inevitable then.”

“But… but I’m not like Angel or Spike, I’m not a vampire and I still have part of my soul.”

“I’m sure it will do just as well,” Giles assured her. “But you must be extra vigilant when it comes to your magic, Willow. You cannot allow the spells you cast to become entangled with darkness it won’t do anyone any good.”

“Witch!”

Spike’s voice caused Willow to jump, she could tell by the angry tone that something was wrong with him. Giles forgotten for the moment she went back into the library to see what had happened to Spike this time.

“There you are,” Spike glared at her.

“Is something wrong?” she asked eyeing him nervously.

“Do you know what I’ve been doin’ today?”

“Um, sleeping?”

“Tryin’ to sleep,” Spike corrected. “It’s a bit difficult to do when you’re housemate’s a doolally vampire.”

“What does that mean?” Giles asked following Willow out of the office.

“Do you know what you’ve done to me?” Spike strode forward until he was nose to nose with Willow. “I’ve been counselling Angel! Angel! I’ve been helpin’ him with his little ghostly problems. I. Don’t. Help. Angel!”

Willow simply gaped at him her eyes wide and unblinking.

“Ghostly problems? What does that mean?” Xander asked, getting to his feet wishing he had a crossbow handy in case Spike decided to attack Willow; he looked mean enough to do it at the moment.

“Oh,” Spike made a dismissive gesture. “He thinks he’s being haunted or some such nonsense. There’s always a big drama with Angel.”

“Haunted by who?” Giles wondered. “Or by what?”

Spike didn’t hesitate, he didn’t look to soften the blow, he’d had enough of being considerate for one day. “You’re little gypsy woman and a bunch of other people he’s killed over the years.”

“Jenny,” Giles whispered.

“Never mind about him, get this soul outta me before I start feedin’ the poor or somethin’.”

“That’s what we’re trying to do. You could always help, another pair of hands would be welcome,” Oz said pointing to a stack of books they hadn’t yet been through.

“Great. Fine. Let’s read,” Spike snatched up a book and plopped down in a chair. “You too, Red, this is your fault in the first place.”

“I thought we’d established that it’s all your fault,” Cordelia said giving him a sweet smile. “You know, due to the kidnapping and your general evilness.”

Willow sighed and sat down next to Oz again. “It doesn’t matter whose fault it is, we just need to find a spell to put it right.”

Now more than ever she wanted to find that spell, the last thing Willow wanted was to go dark in anyway and she had to admit that the cloaking spell had gone severely wrong, trying to cloak her from life rather than just from Spike.

Silence reigned in the library for a while. Giles had retreated to the office and closed the door to think about Jenny. If she was back surely it meant something? But why would she go to Angel, why didn’t she come to him?

“I can’t wait for Christmas vacation,” Cordelia said, marking her page and taking a sip of water. “It’ll be a relief to get out of this place, all these books are depressing. No offence, Willow.”

Willow glanced up from the computer screen. “It’s alright, I understand.”

“Have you found anything at all?” Oz got up to stretch out his back and came to rest his hands on her shoulders and peer at the screen.

“No,” she said with a small sigh. “Maybe we should give this a rest for a bit and try and find something to help Angel?”

“Or we could just keep doin’ this and find somethin’ to help me,” Spike replied.

“Self-absorbed much,” Cordelia muttered.

“What is this thing with Angel anyway?” Xander asked looking expectantly at Spike.

Spike scowled at all the interruptions but he explained anyway knowing that they wouldn’t get back to work until he did. Good help was so hard to find these days!

“What do you think?” Oz asked giving Willow’s shoulders a light squeeze.

“I don’t know, I guess we’d have to look into it. It’s strange how he’s being haunted now though, I mean he’s had his soul for a long time. You’d think something like this would have happened before.”

“Does it really matter?” Spike complained and shook a book at her.

Willow sighed and made a face. “I suppose not, at least, not until he asks for our help.”

The doors suddenly burst open and Buffy came flying through them like a tiny tornado. “Giles! Where’s Giles?”

“Office,” Xander pointed towards the door. “What’s up, Buff?”

“Buffy?” Giles poked his head out of the office. “What’s the matter?”

“Something seriously wiggy is going on. I was shopping for Christmas trees like a normal person and then bam,” she clapped her hands together for emphasis. “I’m in Angel’s dream and I’m watching him kill a woman at some party, like, a hundred years ago or something. Wiggy, right?”

“Um, well, yes,” Giles agreed.

Spike got to his feet. “When was this?”

“Oh um, about half an hour ago.”

“That’s when it was all happenin’, all this ghost business. And right in the middle of it all he yells “Buffy!” and then takes off like someone deranged.”

Buffy stared at him stupidly. “What’s he on about?”

“Angel’s being haunted,” Xander said.

Buffy still had no clue and it showed on her face. Spike grit his teeth and went through the whole Angel episode again for her benefit.

“Where is he now?” Buffy demanded.

Spike shrugged. “How do I know? Like I said, he took off.”

“I’d better get out there and see if I can find him,” Buffy said.

“You might want to call on Faith,” Giles suggested. “You might need back up if Angel’s that disturbed.”

“He’s a vampire who shagged a Slayer, of course he’s disturbed.”

“Shut up, Spike!” Giles glared at him. “Don’t go alone, Buffy. It might not be safe.”

Buffy went into the book cage to arm herself, just in case, and promised that she would call at Faith’s place before she went looking for Angel. She paused once to look at Willow and was relieved to see the familiar sympathetic look on her friends face. “I don’t want to abandon you or anything, but if Angel’s in trouble I can’t run the risk that he’ll hurt anyone.”

“I understand,” Willow said. “Go help Angel. My problem will still be here when you’re done. I don’t think it has a time limit or anything.”

“I’m going to get a drink, can I get you anything?” Oz asked putting a comforting arm around her waist. “See,” he whispered in her ear. “Everything’s fine with you two.”

“You were right,” she said with a nod. “And no, I’m fine thanks.”

Spike watched them his eyes narrowing with displeasure. Just why it bothered him to see them together he couldn’t quite say, but it did. He was used to her focusing on him and him alone whenever he was with her and Spike discovered that he didn’t like not being the focal point of Willow’s attention.

Cordelia passed by him to go up into the stacks and replace a pile of books. “You look like a jealous lover.”

Spike scowled at her but didn’t respond; he rather felt like a jealous lover and that was absurd. Nothing had passed between him and Willow that could be construed as romantic, just a bit of harmless flirting on his part. But there was something between them, something that sizzled and sparked and Spike knew she was aware of it too.

He was damned if he was going to sit in this poxy library all night watching her with the wolf and being completely ignored. He wasn’t used to Willow ignoring him and Spike sure as hell wasn’t going to get used to it either. There was only one way to remedy this situation and Spike intended to take it.

He waited until the wolf had followed the Slayer out of the library, the Watcher went back into the office and conveniently the boy started digging through some books with his back to them. He slid up to Willow’s side.

“Fancy a real drink, love?”

Willow caught her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment her eyes on Xander’s back. “When?”

“Now,” his lips brushed her ear and Willow shivered. “Come on, pet, lets get out of ‘ere and ‘ave some fun.”

Willow knew she shouldn’t go, that she shouldn’t disappear again; but the temptation of Spike was simply too strong to resist. “We probably shouldn’t.” It was a token response, she was already trying not to alert Xander that she was creeping from the library.

“That’s what makes it fun,” he wheedled, holding the door open for her and grinning when she ducked under his arm.

“Will you buy me one of those fruity drinks?”

“As many as you like.”

“Can we do some more spells?”

“If you want to.”

Willow paused on the top step when they exited the building a thoughtful look on her face and a glint in her eye Spike was already familiar with and looked forward to with great anticipation.

“Spike…”

“Hum?”

“Will you…. Will you take me to Willy’s?”

“Not in that get up,” he said eyeing her jeans and brightly striped top.

She looked down at herself and frowned. She could see his point. “I have a different outfit.”

Spike smiled slowly. “Yeah love, I’ll take you.”

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

 

Willow was glad that they hadn’t run into Buffy on the way back to her house. Without knowing where Angel was there was no telling where Buffy would be either and Willow just knew that Buffy would have something to say about her sneaking away with Spike.

“I won’t be long,” she said opening the front door and tossing her keys onto the table in the hallway. “You know where the alcohol is, help yourself.”

“Cheers, pet.” Spike made a beeline for the liquor cabinet and poured himself a scotch. While he sipped his drink he listened to Willow moving about; there were doors opening and closing, the sound of shoes being kicked off and her light tread as she crossed back and forth in her room.

Absently swirling the liquid in the glass Spike padded along the hallway and paused outside her door, it was open a crack, enough that if he angled his head just so he could see into the room. Unfortunately he couldn’t see her; she was well out of his limited line of vision.

Spike frowned and took another drink, what was he now, a peeping tom? Pathetic was what it was, him, Spike, William the Bloody sneaking around outside the room of a teenage girl hoping for a glimpse of her in her underwear, or if he was really lucky… Spike shook his head to clear it. He was getting as pathetic as the poof.

“You gonna be much longer?”

“Just fixing my hair, Spike. No! Don’t come in!” Willow cried out when the door began to slide open.

Spike paused. “You indecent in there, love?”

“No, I’m dressed.”

“Better luck next time,” he chuckled, imaging the pink flush of her cheeks. “If you’re dressed, why can’t I come in?”

“Um, just stay where you are, Spike.” What was she going to say to him, that if he came in and saw her before she finished with her hair it would ruin the whole effect of her outfit? That screamed date to her and this wasn’t a date and that was not disappointment she felt about it either. But still, she wanted to see Spike’s face when he saw her like this for the first time, when he saw her as perhaps someone other than the girl who wore stupid clothes and screwed up his life. Somehow it was important that he did although Willow couldn’t quite say why.

Spike huffed and leant against the wall. He took another sip of his scotch. “You ever been to Willy’s before then, pet?”

“No. Buffy says it’s a dump.”

“She ain’t wrong.”

“Then why do you go there? Isn’t there a better demon bar on the Hellmouth?”

“I like the social scene. Willy’s is sort of the demon version of your Bronze.”

“You mean everyone goes there.”

“That’s right. Willy can get his hands on most things if you ‘ave a mind for something special an’ if he can’t his patrons can.”

“Do they know he’s a snitch?” Willow wondered turning her head from side to side examining her reflection.

“Dunno, but if you’re gonna plan somethin’ on the Hellmouth with the Slayer around you gotta be prepared for trouble whether Willy snitches or not.”

“Makes sense.” Pulling on her shoes Willow gave herself one last look in the mirror, did a little twirl, took a steadying breath and opened the door.

Spike almost choked. He spluttered around a mouthful of scotch, his eyes growing wide in complete surprise. This he had not been expecting, not this firecracker in the rustic red top that showed off her midriff and the small black leather mini skirt that showed off her legs and the high heeled shoes that made those legs look even longer. And no tights he noticed.

“Blimey!”

“Will I do?” Willow asked an anxious look on her face. If he said no then she was screwed, she had no other outfit to offer.

Would she do! Was the bint blind? Didn’t she know just how well she did in that get up? Didn’t his initial reaction tell her how well she did? If it were anyone other than Willow he might think she was fishing for compliments, but Spike knew enough about her to know that wasn’t her style. He made a circular gesture with his finger. “Give us a twirl pet, let me see.”

Willow obediently turned.

“Slower!”

She blinked in surprise at the demand; he sounded almost cranky. Still, Willow obliged, taking pains to move slowly this time, she didn’t want to annoy Spike and have him call off their little trip out. “Well, will I do?”

“Oh you’ll do, love. You’ll do very well.” Spike stared at her, he couldn’t take his eyes off her; that smooth expanse of creamy flesh around her middle called for his touch, just a small touch, just the graze of his fingers along her skin; for starters.

Willow shifted her weight from one foot to the other, she felt extra warm all of a sudden, as though someone had turned the heat up without telling her. And his eyes, those cool blue eyes were almost smoldering; they made her tummy squirm in new and delicious ways.

“Shall we go?” she asked timidly.

Oh he wanted to go alright, go into her bedroom, go to her bed and go all night. Spike snapped out of his trance and knocked the remaining scotch to the back of his throat in the hopes of settling his thoughts.

“Let’s go, night’s waning fast,” he smiled at her, delighted when she smiled back and clapped her hands together with excitement.

As they stood on the porch for Willow to lock the door Spike took a moment to take her all in again, including this time, the thin black velvet band around her throat and the style of her hair, it looked different all up off her face and neck, that beautiful long neck that was just begging for a bite.

She turned to smile at him and Spike placed his hand at the small of her back to guide her down the steps. Her skin was warm, so lovely and warm beneath his palm, smooth and perfect like a ripe peach.

Willow shivered at the strange sensation of his hand against her skin, cool as silk and light as down, not as overbearing or intimidating as the touch of a vampire should be.

They walked in silence for a while, not uncomfortably, as Spike smoked a cigarette and Willow’s mind started whirring. “I think I know the answer already, I have a feeling you would have told me by now and very loudly too if you had, but, well, you aren’t being haunted like Angel are you?”

Spike shook his head. “Like you said, I’d have told you by now.”

She considered for a few minutes. “Why do you think it’s only him? Why don’t you get them too?”

“I think,” Spike said blowing out a puff of smoke. “it’s ’cos the soul I got in me ain’t mine. You ‘aven’t spent a century goin’ round killin’ people an’ what not. There’s no guilt or remorse or what ‘ave you for me to deal with.”

She let out a sigh of relief. “That’s what I thought. It makes sense, doesn’t it?”

“It does, love.” He chuckled softly. “Your still worryin’ ‘bout your soul, aren’t you?”

“Maybe a little bit,” Willow admitted. “But not so much as I was.”

“I told you not to worry ‘bout that, didn’t I?”

“Yes, and you were right, Spike.”

“Mostly am if anyone ever bothered to pay attention,” he muttered.

“I pay attention,” she promised. “Will Willy have one of those fruity drinks?”

Spike smiled. “He might, but you wanna try somethin’ new, pet.”

“Like what?”

“We’ll see what he has to offer, shall we?”

Willow nodded a little zing of excitement shooting through. Being with Spike was fun, he always knew just what to do to have a good time and she trusted him to keep her safe at the same time. “Will they mind me being there?” She asked a sudden worried look on her face.

“Who?”

“The other vampires, or demons, or Willy.”

“I shouldn’t think so. They don’t usually welcome humans but your with me, they won’t bother you.”

When they finally reached Willy’s Willow was slightly disappointed to see that the outside was completely unremarkable. Nothing stood out to her at all that this was a demon bar. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, after all, common sense told her that Willy wouldn’t want the human population of Sunnydale turning up here.

Spike held the door open for her, he was just about to warn her to try and keep her fear in check when he realised that there was no fear coming from her at all. Curiously he followed her inside, his hand going once again to the small of her back. The corresponding shiver to his touch was not lost on Spike.

The bar wasn’t full, there was a mild scattering of vampires all wearing their natural faces and a few demons, some species Willow could name off the top of her head, others were new to her. They all looked at her as soon as she stepped through the door, as though she were a movie star or something.

She saw one vampire take a step forward his eyes fixed on her. Spike shifted closer to her his face changing instantly and he growled.

“Spike!” Willy greeted him loudly. “What brings you here tonight, _Spike_?”

The other vampire retreated, turning away and returning to his drink. Willow let out a breath she hadn’t realised that she had been holding.

“Willy,” Spike led her to the bar. “The Slayer been in here yet?”

“Yeah, you ain’t long missed her.”

“Good.” They could relax now without worrying about Slayer shaped interruptions. “Give me a whisky, Willy an’ something sweet for my girl ‘ere.”

Willy eyed Willow curiously as he set about fixing the drinks. “You um, you Willow?”

Willow looked up at Spike but he looked just as surprised as she did. “Yes. Why?”

“You match the description the Slayer gave me the other night that’s all. She came in here looking for you. For both of you.”

“Well she won’t be back tonight,” Spike said. “She’ll ‘ave her hands full with Angel.”

“Yeah, what’s up with him?” Willy asked setting a glass down in front of Spike. “Slayer seemed agitated, only thing she kept asking me about was Angel.”

Spike snorted. “He’s got issues.”

“He’s a vamp with a soul, I don’t doubt it,” Willy replied placing a glass full of red liquid down for Willow.

“What is it?” she asked eyeing the glass warily.

Spike laughed. “It’s not what your thinkin’ don’t worry.”

Willy grinned and gave her a little salute. “Wouldn’t serve a nice girl like you stuff like that. So, Spike, you fancy a game? I can get you in on one in about half an hour.”

“No, not tonight,” Spike pointed to a corner booth. “We’ll be over there, keep the riff raff away.”

“You got it,” Willy said with a big grin. “Anything for you, Spike.”

Willow slid into the booth pleased to note that it was clean with no blood or slime or anything else demon-ish on show. “Are you famous in here or something?” she asked her eyes dancing with amusement.

“Famous everywhere,” he said without modesty. “Even in your Watcher Journals, aren’t I?”

She laughed and took a sip of her drink. “Oooh, it’s nice, what is it?”

“Cherry brandy.”

“What game’s do you play here?” she craned her neck. “I can’t see a pool table.”

Spike smiled, she was so naïve about so many things in spite of the life she led. “There’s one in the back, but he meant cards.”

“I can’t play cards, well, I can play snap but I don’t think that’s the kind of game you mean.”

“No,” Spike laughed at the very idea. “Poker mostly.”

“Oh yes,” she winced. “You told me. Is that the reason you don’t want to play, you know, after what happened to you last time?”

“Partly,” Spike admitted. Right now he didn’t feel anything about kitten poker, but who knew what would happen to him if he sat down at the table and saw that basket in the centre with all the kittens in. “And I can’t leave you to fend for yourself, can I? You saw what happened when we came in.”

Willow’s shoulders hunched inward. “That wasn’t of the good,” she admitted. “But I knew it would be alright.”

“How’s that?”

“You wouldn’t let anything happen to me, would you, Spike?”

It came out as a question but Spike got the feeling that she wasn’t asking so much as telling. He knew now why she hadn’t been afraid to walk through the door, she believed and trusted that he would look after her and keep her safe. It was a strange feeling being in the position of protector and defender to the little witch, but Spike couldn’t say it bothered him.

“’Course I wouldn’t, love. Keep you all nice an’ safe as houses.”

She took another sip of her drink. “Spike, will you teach me how to play poker?”

“If you’re really good I’ll teach you strip poker.”

Willow flushed and lowered her eyes to the glass. That little zing came back at the very thought of Spike naked and her colour deepened.

“We’ll start now if you like.”

“What?!” her head shot up like a jack-in-the-box.

Spike laughed. “I meant playin’ poker. We’ll leave the strippin’ ‘till its just us,” he gave her a long look. “And there’s all sorts of ‘aving goin’ on.”

Her face flamed and she looked away from him again, but, Spike noticed, she didn’t reject the offer. He called for some cards and Willy dutifully brought over a pack, they were well used and a bit grubby, but Willow didn’t complain, instead she scooted to the end of her seat her fingers clasped together and watched Spike shuffle the cards.

After explaining the rules to her he dealt out a hand, because he felt poker was best played with more than two people he dealt himself three hands in total to give her a better idea of the game. Willow was a quick study and she liked cards, it didn’t take her long to pick up the game. Spike was impressed with her, she was better as a beginner than Darla had ever been. But cards had bored Darla to tears and she only played if she was really at a loose end.

“Do you play fair?” she asked after a while.

“Mostly.”

Her lips twitched with amusement. “You cheat?”

“Sometimes.”

“Are you cheating now?”

“No, I’m being a good boy,” he promised and she giggled.

Willy kept an eye on them and kept up a steady flow of cherry brandies for her. Sometimes he brought over other colourful concoctions, and Willow had been rather taken with a drink called the Marilyn Monroe, it had really appealed to her drink something named for such a glamorous woman. She wished she could be as glamorous as Marilyn Monroe.

“You’re pretty good, love.”

“Really?”

“A natural.”

She beamed. “Neat.”

Spike chuckled quietly. “I still win this round though,” he tossed his cards on the table and she sighed folding hers up and offering them to him to shuffle back into the deck.

Sipping her drink Willow began to collect the cards he dealt her for the next game. “Spike…”

“Hum?”

“Do you think everyone has a dark side?”

He glanced up from arranging his cards. “Everyone’s got darkness in ‘em pet. Why?”

“Giles, he … um…. Well, he thinks that I’m… not going dark exactly but sort of… I don’t know, tapping into my dark side I suppose.”

Spike stared at her a stupefied look on his face. “What’s that now?”

“Amy snitched on me,” Willow said peevishly. “I told her about the cloaking spell because she’s a witch too and I wondered if it had happened to her, but she went and told Giles all about it. Buffy and I had a fight, sort of.”

 

Setting his cards face down on the table Spike rummaged through his pockets for his cigarettes and lighter. He didn’t respond until he had a cigarette clamped between his teeth and had inhaled his first kick of nicotine.

 

“Considering what’s been happenin’ to me lately, wouldn’t it be natural that somethin’ ‘appened to you too?”

 

“You think I’m going dark?” Her hand shook slightly as she exchanged a card for one on the pile.

 

“Turnin’ dark ain’t the same as turnin’ evil, love.”

 

She blinked at him, it amazed her that Spike of all people could tell what she was really thinking, what she was really worrying about down in the depths of the half soul she had left. “You don’t think I’m evil?”

 

Spike laughed loudly. “No, pet. From what I feel of you there’s no evil in you. Half a soul won’t change that you’d ‘ave to lose it completely for the evil to kick in with someone like you.”

 

Willow visibly relaxed and studied her cards for a few moments before she spoke again. “What if I cast another spell and it goes wrong again? I could kill someone, Spike.”

 

“What if you cross the road tomorrow an’ get hit by a bus?”

 

Her brow furrowed. “That’s not the same thing and you know it. If I’m tapping into dark magic without even meaning too then I could do real harm to someone, or maybe even myself. What if I try to help Buffy and ended up killing her?” Her hand shot up palm facing towards him. “Don’t answer that, it was rhetorical.”

 

He ignored the comment about the Slayer but grinned wickedly at her just so that she knew without him saying it, what he thought about that particular rhetorical question.

 

“I’ve read a little bit about dark magic, not very much because Giles keeps all that stuff hidden in his office with some of the other books he has that he doesn’t think we should see yet, and there’s a reason that its called dark magic, it can have terrible consequences.”

 

“All magic can have terrible consequences,” he reminded her. “Spells go wrong, sometimes even the simple ones, bad things can happen. That’s just magic. You gonna quit with the mojo just ‘cos somethin’ might go wrong? It might not go wrong.”

 

There was power in dark magic, serious power, Spike had seen it and had hired witches to perform such spells for him in the past. Things went wrong Angelus style of course, but they could also go right providing the witch had enough power of their own and he felt that Willow had that power. She hadn’t tapped into it yet, she was still young, still learning, but in time she would have strong magic at her fingertips he could feel it.

 

They would try to hold her back her little friends, the Watcher, Angel; she would in time, terrify them with the power she would wield but she didn’t frighten Spike. Whether it was his own self-assured arrogance or whether it was because part of her resided in him now Spike wasn’t sure, but he didn’t fear what she could do with all that power that was building inside her, instead he wanted to release it; Spike hadn’t totally given up the notion of his own witch at his side.

 

He could just imagine Dru’s face when she saw him with Willow; another woman who had more power than she did, someone more fragile than her in spite of that power, someone he would protect and care for the way he had Dru. Spike smiled at the thought, revenge was always sweet and his revenge on Dru would be the sweetest yet.

 

“There’s enough danger in Sunnydale without me adding to it.”

 

“Danger enough everywhere,” he pointed out reasonably. “You gonna sit there huggin’ ‘em cards or are you gonna play?”

 

“Oh, sorry.” Willow took her time examining her options before discarding one of her cards and collecting another.

 

“You like doin’ magic, don’t you?”

 

“Yes,” her eyes lit up with excitement. “I’ve finally found something that I’m good at, well, sort of, and can help Buffy at the same time. Its like… well, sometimes it feels like I’ve found what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. Like magic has always been there inside me just waiting for me to unlock it.”

 

“Then you got your answer. Like I told you before, love, you just gotta get control over your power is all, then it won’t control you. Magic isn’t somethin’ that has its own life force, it doesn’t just appear out of nowhere, someone’s gotta bring it into the world, someone’s gotta cast the spell, which means you’ll always be in control of it, providin’ you work at it. You can make sure it doesn’t go all dark again.”

 

“I don’t know if I can take the chance,” Willow admitted

 

Taking another drag of his cigarette he said, “Life’s a game of chance, love. Always has been.” Tossing a card onto the pile he lifted his eyes to hers. “You wanna play?”


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Willow swallowed her throat suddenly dry, he had the ability to do that to her she had noticed, and when his eyes were so intense upon her face it became difficult to breathe. It was not difficult to answer him; Willow found she already knew the answer to his question without having to think about it.

“Yes, Spike, I want to play.”

He smiled. “Good girl. Pointless ‘aving a life if you ain’t gonna live it.”

Examining her cards, not overly impressed with her options, Willow tossed them on the table. “I fold.”

Spike grinned. “If we were playin’ strip poker right now I’d feel better ‘bout winning.”

“I’d take my shoe off.”

“You’re under the wrong impression there, pet. I’m the winner, I decide what comes off an’ I wouldn’t start with your shoes.”

“Can we …”

Willy’s voice loud and strained broke into their conversation. “Slayer! Your back. Twice in one night, I’m honoured.”

Willow gasped and slid down in her seat, the last thing she wanted was for Buffy to spot her. “Spike!” she hissed through clenched teeth giving him a swift kick in the shin when he didn’t immediately make an attempt to conceal himself.

“Looks like that’s somethin’ else I gotta teach you,” Spike said shifting in his seat until he was hidden from view.

“Huh?”

“That’s not how you play footsie, love.”

Willow rolled her eyes and shushed him.

“So,” Willy was saying, “What can I get you, Slayer?”

Resting her arms on the bar Buffy gave Willy a long look but before she could say anything Xander spoke up.

“We’ll have a double shot of information.”

“Hey, if I’ve got information I’ll give it to ya, kid, what do you want to know?” Willy absently began to wipe down the bar.

“I’m looking for Spike,” Buffy said. “He might have a girl with him, Willow. I asked you about them the other night, remember?”

“I remember,” Willy shrugged. “Saw Spike earlier, had the girl with him. Can’t say for certain what they’re doin’ now though.”

“Was she alright?” Xander asked leaning over the bar.

“Willow? Fine and dandy so far as I could tell.”

“He hadn’t hurt her?” Buffy prompted.

“Spike?” Willy’s eyes went wide. “Spike hurt a nice little girl like that? Not likely.”

Xander frowned. “We are talking about the same Spike, right? I mean, this isn’t a case of mistaken identity? The vampire we’re looking for looks like a reject from a Billy Idol convention. British accent. Pain in the butt. That Spike.”

Willy nodded. “I know Spike. Most of the demon population knows Spike.”

“Then you know exactly what he’s capable of,” Buffy said her fingers clenching over the lip of the bar. “And if he’s hurt her I’ll introduce him to a world of pain.”

“I told you, she weren’t hurt. Happy as a clam she was when I saw her.” Rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably Willy asked, “Did you, um, did you find my buddy Angel?”

Buffy’s face tightened. “Yes.”

“We’re more interested in Willow right now,” Xander said. “So if you know anything you better start talking, ‘cause if you don’t, we have ways to make you talk. That world of pain she just mentioned, there’s room for other people in it not just Spike.” He waited a beat before quickly clarifying, “I mean you.”

Buffy closed her eyes for a moment. “Maybe you shouldn’t help, Xan,” she suggested gently. “Maybe you should just stand there.”

“And look intimidating?” Xander raised his arms to shoulders level and clenched his fists his biceps straining.

“Um, yeah,” she agreed. “Did Spike say where he was planning on taking Willow?”

“Didn’t say anything about taking her anywhere.”

“Fine,” Buffy stepped back towards the door. “If you see them tell Willow I’m looking for her.”

“That’s a promise,” Willy said. “And hey, I’m glad Angel’s doin’ okay.”

Buffy gave him a brief smile and pushed open the door with Xander behind her.

“You were great by the way,” Willy called after them. “Very intimidating.”

Xander looked back over his shoulder. “I was? Really?” he grinned and almost bounded after Buffy. “Cool.”

When the door swung shut behind them Spike righted himself in his seat and lifted one mocking eyebrow. “That’s the best the Slayer can do for backup? Him? Really?”

Willow giggled struggling to get into a sitting position, she felt all weak and floppy as though her limbs didn’t quite belong to her. “He’s not so bad when you get to know him. He’s really funny. Especially when he does the snoopy dance.”

“You do realise that the rest of the world is laughin’ at him an’ not with him, don’t you?”

She pouted. “Don’t be mean about Xander. He’s my best friend.”

“Your best friend? You can’t be serious. Love, you can do better than that.”

Willow shook her head. “There’s no better friend than Xander.” Placing her hands on the table she pushed herself onto her feet. “Where’s the bathroom?”

Spike looked blank. “How do I know? I don’t ‘ave to use it.”

Willy suddenly appeared at the corner of the bar. “Spike, Slayer was looking for you. Said I’d tell you if I saw you.”

Spike grinned. “Cheers mate. My girl ‘ere is lookin’ for the bathroom.”

“Announce it to the world,” she muttered stepping out from behind the table.

Willy gestured to the far end of the room. “Just down there and on the left.”

Spike watched her cross the room, she seemed steady enough on her feet even if the alcohol was starting to get to her. She’d been worse the other night, she had a long way to go yet before she was drunk. “Keep the drinks flowin’.”

“Right you are, Spike. Another whisky or a beer for you?”

“Beer.” Spike went to the bar his eyes glued to the scarred door Willow had just gone through. It wouldn’t do to let anything happen to her, although Spike didn’t think there was a demon in the place stupid enough to attack his girl.

Another door to the right opened and a large demon came through it. He grinned and waved when he spotted Spike. “Hello, Spike.”

“Clem. How’d you make out?”

“Lost,” Clem said taking a seat at the bar. “Lady luck was not smiling on me tonight. Are you going to join the game?”

“Not tonight. I’ve got somethin’ else on.”

A few minutes later the bathroom door opened and Willow reemerged. Spike watched her as she paused beside the juke box, it was more than a little bit battered and he could honestly say he’d never heard it play a note. She turned and came back to him a little bounce in her step.

“Alright, love?”

She nodded, moving in close to his side and examining the newcomer with interest. He was quite large with lots of pale flabby skin and floppy ears like a puppy. He had kind eyes but Willow didn’t take that to mean anything, after all, Angelus and Spike were nice to look at but she knew first hand not to judge by appearances.

He held out a hand. “I’m Clem.”

“He’s alright, he’s a mate. Harmless.”

Willow took his hand with a tentative smile. “I’m Willow.”

“Nice to meet you.” Clem shook hands and smiled at her.

“Spike, do you have change? Can I put a song on?”

“You can do whatever you like, pet.” Spike dug about in his pockets and produced some quarters. “Better check that thing actually works before you go feedin’ it money.”

Willy was busy serving another customer but he called over to assure them that the juke box was in working order.

Clem eyed the quarters with interest. “I love music.”

“What sort of music?” Willow asked using the tips of her fingers to slide the coins off the bar and into her waiting palm.

“All kinds,” Clem said. “Rock and roll mostly.”

Willow stared at him for a minute, that had not been the answer she had been expecting to hear. “You mean like Elvis?”

“Well of course, who else but the King himself?”

“Good singer, nice bloke,” Spike said taking a swing of beer.

Willow rounded on him her eyes wide. “What does that mean?”

“What it sounds like.”

“Are you… are you trying to tell me that you knew _Elvis_?”

Spike rolled his shoulders. “Partied with him some when he was doin’ a show in Vegas. Good times.”

“You… you _knew_ Elvis?” Willow stared at him slack jawed.

“You _partied_ with Elvis?” Clem was leaning so far forward he almost fell off the stool.

“Well now,” Spike grinned at her. “Finally done somethin’ to impress you ‘ave I?”

“You do lots of impressive things,” she said putting out a hand to steady Clem when he wobbled dangerously on his stool as he produced a few dollar bills from his pocket and called for Willy to change them for him.

Spike wanted to ask her just what he had done that was so impressive to her but she was skipping over to the juke box. Clem ambled over to her and Spike watched and half listened to their discussion before they picked out the songs they wanted. He was not surprised to discover it was Elvis, he was surprised when _Hound Dog_ came on and Willow grabbed Clem’s hands and pulled him to the middle of the floor to dance.

He had half expected trouble, but the other demons didn’t seem to mind Willow firing up the juke box in the slightest. It took only half an hour before Willy’s was jumping and Willow had made lots of new friends of the demon variety. The up side to this meant that he didn’t have to keep feeding the juke box as the others joined in adding their favourite artists to the mix so there was someone else besides Elvis signing their lungs out. The down side was that he had to share Willow’s attention with everyone else.

Spike understood that Willow was a novelty, a living human who wasn’t entertainment or collateral in a demon bar and they all gravitated to her. She was laughing and singing and dancing, she was drinking with demons and enjoying herself immensely, but more than that, no matter what she was doing her eyes always sought him.

Head thrown back Willow twirled in the middle of the room her hands clasping tightly to the leathery fingers of a hobgoblin. Her head was fuzzy and her body felt nice and loose, she was usually self-conscious about dancing even when The Bronze was packed and it was a pretty safe bet that no-one was watching her, but tonight Willow felt as though she were born to dance. She danced until tendrils of hair escaped from their confines and stuck to the back of her neck and her feet hurt.

Pulling the black velvet choker from around her neck Willow weaved her way back to Spike, tossing the choker on the bar she slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow and hugged his arm to her chest. “You aren’t dancing, Spike,” she chided taking a long drink of the Cosmopolitan he had ordered for her.

“Surprised you noticed, being the belle of the ball an’ all.”

She laughed encircling her arms around his neck her fingers absently stroking against the hair at his nape. “I noticed,” her lips brushed against his ear as she spoke. “Come and dance with me, Spike.”

He curled his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. “I’ll dance with you, love that’s a promise.”

Willow’s stomach flipped, somewhere in her woolly mind she was aware that there was a hidden meaning in his words but she wasn’t sober enough to see it; she only knew that she liked the feelings his voice coaxed out in her.

A vampire by the name of Johnny appeared at her elbow with a shot glass. “Here you go dancing queen, we’re doing tequila shooters.”

“Oh, neat.” She leant in to Spike. “What do I do, Spike?”

He chuckled and finished off his beer before accepting the glass Johnny offered him. “I’ll guide you through it, pet. First you gotta lick your hand between your thumb and forefinger and sprinkle the salt on it.”

Willy had now placed a salt shaker and a plate of lime wedges on the bar and stood ready with a bottle of tequila.

Clem sat down heavily on the stool beside Spike and reached for the salt.

“Then hold the lime with you thumb and index finger in the same hand you put the salt on,” Spike instructed taking a lime for himself. “Then on the count of three you breathe out, lick the salt, down your shot and suck the lime.”

A small frown creased her forehead. “But you don’t breathe, Spike. Isn’t that kinda cheating?”

“It won’t get me any the less drunk, pet. You ready?”

“Yes,” she bounced on the spot her cheeks flushed with the excitement of doing something she shouldn’t.

Johnny did the count down and Willow went through the steps Spike had given her grimacing at the strong taste of liquor. Still, she was more than willing to partake in another round and held out her glass for Willy to refill it. It was Frank Sinatra’s voice blaring from the speakers now and Willow sung along as she sprinkled salt on her hand.

There came a point where Clem fell off his stool he was so drunk, Johnny’s friend Rose who had also joined them in tequila shots sat with her head in her arms half asleep, the hobgoblin had taken his leave and Spike had moved his stool right next to Willow’s to ensure she didn’t fall.

“I’d better get Rose home,” Johnny said half dragging the other vampire to her feet. “Sunrise’ll be here soon.”

“I had a great time!” Willow enthused.

“We’ll do it again soon,” Johnny promised.

Willow waved him off and turned back to Spike. “Let’s do another one, Spike.”

Vision ever so slightly blurry Spike stared at her for a moment. “You sure? You don’t feel sick?”

“No I’m not sick. Are you?”

“’Course not, love. Takes more than a few shots to floor me. Clem on the other hand,” he paused and glanced down at his friend who was slumped against the front of the bar. “His kind can’t handle much alcohol.”

“Poor Clem, will he be alright?”

“He’ll be fine love, not to worry. Now, you sure you wanna go again?” When she nodded her agreement Spike reached for her hand, brought it to his mouth and swiped his tongue along the flesh between her thumb and index finger. Lifting his eyes to hers Spike held her gaze as he stroked her flesh again, a slow deliberate movement.

Willow caught her bottom lip between her teeth, there was a strange and not at all unpleasant stirring between her legs. It frightened her a little bit and she clamped her thighs tightly together, although she didn’t really want it to go away.

An innocent look on his face that completely belied the wicked gleam in his eyes, Spike offered her his hand.

With a slight tremor Willow curled her fingers around his wrist her eyelashes drifting to her cheeks as her tongue touched his skin. Spike stifled a groan.

It was she who reached for the salt shaker and poured the little white grains on both their hands. “Ready?” she asked in a voice that was not quite steady.

“One. Two. Three.”

Willow made a face and shook her head at the bitter taste of alcohol. She accepted the cool glass of water that Willy placed in front of her as he passed back and forth behind the bar.

“I’ll be closing soon, Spike.”

“Just one more round,” Willow said wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “Then we’ll go.”

“One more then,” Spike agreed. He couldn’t help grinning when she quickly licked at her hand and applied the salt. Spike did the same and then grabbed at her salt cover hand and brought it up to his mouth. “Ready?”

His implication was clear and Willow swallowed nervously. He fitted a lime wedge between the fingers of her right hand before picking one for himself and offering her his hand. Willow nodded and he released her wrist to pick up his glass. Spike did the count down and they both knocked the tequila back. He was quicker than her and took her wrist again licking away the salt and split alcohol on her skin.

He felt her fingers close around his but she didn’t move to the second stage of the game and he didn’t move onto the third, he wouldn’t until she participated. He was quite happy tasting her skin.

It was Spike’s turn to be surprised when she finally did lick the salt away for she didn’t move to the last step, instead she twisted his hand so it was palm up and closed her mouth over his fingers sucking gently, taking the juice from the numerous lime wedges from his skin that way.

Spike’s grip tightened on her and he took the fleshy part of her hand between his lips sucking slowly, matching the movement to hers. Willow’s eyes lifted to his face glistening with barely concealed desire; his own eyes flashed yellow in response.

Her tongue dipped down between his fingers to stroke at the webbing with little cat-like licks and Spike mirrored her actions, taking note of the increased heart rate and the way her pulse throbbed at her throat. Eyes finding hers again Spike moved to her wrist and gave her pulse a whisper soft kiss; he was rewarded with a soft moan.

Willy cleared his throat uncomfortably. “I… um… I really am closing now.”

Spike smirked plucking the forgotten band of black velvet off the bar and dropping it into his pocket. “Come on pet, lets get you home.”

Willow wobbled when she stood up, but at this point she honestly couldn’t say if it was the effect of the alcohol or Spike.

 

 

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Willow woke around four o’clock in the morning her stomach dipping and swooping like a roller coaster. She rolled out of bed with a groan, fumbled for the switch on her bedside lamp and stumbled towards the bathroom her eyes mere slits against the overly bright light and her world shaking.

Sinking to her knees beside the toilet Willow leant over the bowl and vomited; tequila and the rancid taste of bile at the back of her throat. Her stomach heaved, emptying its contents with very little effort and so violently that her eyes watered and bile burnt her nose causing her to cough and splutter.

Flushing the toilet she leant her head on her crossed arms over the bowl and groaned. This was what it must feel like to die.

Taking hold of the sink Willow used it to pull herself to her feet and drank greedily at the cold water tap. It took mere seconds for her to realise that was a mistake. Her stomach swelled in objection sending her back to her knees beside the toilet.

When she felt there was nothing left in her stomach Willow took another drink for the vile taste in her mouth sipping slowly from the facet before shuffling back to bed. Crawling between the covers she switched out the light and closed her eyes expecting to go back to sleep; but that was not to be. She twisted from her side to her back but nothing helped, her stomach would not settle, rolling and gurgling in ways that were all new and extremely unpleasant. A wave of nausea over took her and Willow found herself heading back to the bathroom for another long bout of vomiting.

Around half an hour later Willow was weak, exhausted and frustrated to the point of tears. She needed to sleep, but every time she lay down in bed her stomach cramped and squirmed and she felt sick, even when there was nothing to come back except the water she was forced to drink to sooth her dry throat. It was a vicious circle she couldn’t find a way out of. A headache had begun at the top of her head where she felt her spine was about to burst right through her skull and the only position she found comfortable was sitting up, but she couldn’t sleep sitting up.

Eventually, just as the birds were waking outside her window, exhaustion took over and Willow fell asleep in a ball on the bathroom floor.

 

XxX

 

Arms wrapped around her torso Buffy paced back and forth from the book cage to the counter a worried frown on her face. “Something’s wrong, Giles. It has to be.”

Giles rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s worrying, Buffy I agree.”

Oz looked from Slayer to Watcher. “I tried calling her last night and again this morning but she didn’t pick up. I went over there before school but she didn’t answer the door even when I hammered on it.”

“I called too, Giles. I called last night and again this morning, nothing.” Buffy stopped pacing. “I should call Angel.”

“What’s he gonna do?” Xander looked confused. “It’s daytime, he can’t exactly go looking for her. Which by the way, is what we should be doing. I swear if Spike’s done anything to her I’ll be the one to drive a stake through his heart.”

Faith had been lounging at the table with her legs stretched out and feet crossed at the ankles, she stood up and swung her arms around in a circle. “Tell you what, I’ll go and check out Willow’s place, if I don’t find anything I’ll swing to Angel’s. I’ll check in and let you know the sitch then we can go from there.”

“Yes,” Giles nodded once. “That sounds like a sensible plan, Faith.”

Buffy’s hands came to rest on her hips. “And just what do you expect the rest of us to be doing when this is going on?”

“Go to class,” Giles said.

“No way!” Xander was on his feet now agitation in every line of his body. “My best friend is missing. No way am I going to math and pretend to be listening when Willow’s missing. Nah uh, no way.”

“Xander’s got a point,” Oz said. “I can’t go to class not knowing where Willow is or if she’s alright.”

“I understand your concerns,” Giles said, “especially with Spike involved. But we don’t know that anything is wrong. There could be a perfectly reasonable explanation, after all, last night isn’t the first time Willow has chosen to spend time with Spike.”

Oz frowned, he had been trying not to think about that. It was unsettling and more than a little hurtful that Willow seemed to prefer Spike’s company to his. It didn’t help matters that he could, in a way, understand it. Spike did have a part of Willow’s soul inside him. Spike had a connection to Willow that Oz could never have. He told himself that was the reason Willow seemed to almost be drawn to Spike; it made sense but it didn’t make things any easier.

“If Faith runs into any problems or can’t locate Willow then we’ll think again,” Giles said. “But until we hear from Faith I want you all to go to class. I can’t have you running around all over Sunnydale. Your mother wouldn’t be best pleased, Buffy.”

“Maybe not, but she’d understand. This is Willow and she’s missing Giles! I can’t just do nothing!”

“Buffy,” he began patiently. “I understand, really I do. But think about it, Faith can go and assess the situation first and if there’s no sign of Willow or Spike then we’ll work out a strategy for finding her. Now, go to class, you’re all late already. I’ll be right by the phone waiting for Faith’s call and if she doesn’t find Willow I’ll come and retrieve you from your class, alright?”

“Fine,” Buffy said through grit teeth. “Call straight away,” she said pointing a finger at Faith.

“I know how to use a phone, B.”

Throwing his bag over his shoulder Xander followed Buffy and Oz from the library. “I’m so not loving this new hanging with Spike thing.”

Glancing behind her Buffy noticed the slight tightening of Oz’s eyes and she wished Xander would learn to keep his thoughts to himself. Even if they were all thinking it.

XxX

Faith made the trip to Willow’s in record time. She couldn’t say that she was particularly worried about Willow, not that she didn’t think Spike was dangerous, Faith was pretty sure that he was, but she had seen Willow and Spike together outside of the gang and Faith had the feeling that Spike wouldn’t let anything bad happen to Willow.

She went up the steps of the porch and knocked on the door. She waited for two minutes before knocking again a little louder and calling through the letter box. If Willow was in there she wasn’t answering the door so Faith went around the back of the house to the French doors Buffy had pointed out as Willow’s bedroom. They were locked and the curtains were drawn so Faith rapped her knuckles on the glass.

“Willow! Red, you in there or what?”

Fingers moving along the glass Faith ducked and twisted her head in an effort to see through the curtains but the room beyond remained closed off to her. She was just deciding to go once around the house and look for an open window when she heard movement.

The curtains were pulled back and Willow, pale, dishevelled and tired was stood looking at her through the glass. She fumbled with the lock and opened the door. “What are you doing here, Faith?”

“Well, you don’t look good, Willow.”

“I feel worse,” Willow said closing the windows behind Faith. “I’ve never been so sick in my life.”

Glancing around the room Faith took note of the crumpled outfit on the floor at the foot of the bed, there was also the distinct scent of stale smoke and alcohol clinging to Willow. “Rough night?”

Willow groaned.

Faith grinned. “Going by the clothes and the fact that your bed looks like a murder took place in it I’d say it was a rough night.”

Willow just looked blank.

Faith rolled her eyes and spread her arms out to the side. “Hey I’m not judging. You wanna get down and dirty with Spike that’s your business. I’m no snitch, I won’t tell your boyfriend or anyone else. Girls got a right to get it on with whoever she wants.”

Willow’s face flamed and she shook her head vigorously, wishing she hadn’t when her head started to pulse again. “No. That’s… no, I didn’t.”

If it was anyone else Faith might not have believed it, but the look on Willow’s face told her that it was true. “Too bad. Spike looks like the kinda vamp who knows how to rock your world.”

Willow didn’t reply, instead she made yet another trip to the bathroom and vomited again, the water she had been sipping no longer wishing to reside in her stomach. “I’m dying.”

Laughing Faith propped herself up against the door frame. “Drink will do that to you. You been like this long?”

“Since four o’clock.”

“Pity you haven’t got the type of hang over where you can eat. Helps sometimes.”

“I can’t even keep water down.”

“Everyone’s different the morning after. Where’s your phone? I need to check in with Giles and let him know you’re alive. They all think Spike did something to you.” She grinned again. “I can imagine just how happy they’ll be to know he hasn’t, but Spike’s rep is gonna suffer if it ever gets out.”

“Phones by my bed, and… just… shh.” Willow closed her eyes resting her chin in her hand and her elbow on the toilet seat.

Willow listened in as Faith called Giles, her shoulders relaxing when she heard Faith tell him that she had a stomach bug and was at this very moment actually being sick. It would deflect any sort of lecture for a while and Willow was grateful for it.

“You wanna go back to bed or what?” Faith asked coming into the bathroom and eyeing Willow’s washed out face.

“I can’t lie down it makes me sick and I can’t sleep sitting up the headboard is too hard, and I’m so tired.” Her voice cracked and she rubbed a hand over her face.

“Here,” Faith held out a hand to help her up. “We’ll go downstairs you can sleep in the chair, supported on all sides.”

It was a testament as to how awful she felt that Willow hadn’t thought of this herself. Once she was in the living room Willow took the blanket off the back of the couch and made herself as comfortable as possible in the arm chair. “You can stay if you like,” she offered looking up at Faith who stood awkwardly in the centre of the room.

Faith shrugged. “Guess I could hang for a while.”

“Remotes over there.”

Taking up the remote from the coffee table Faith flopped down on the couch and turned on the TV. “Your TV is way better than mine. Pictures all snowy.”

“Help yourself to whatever’s in the kitchen,” Willow said snuggling further under her blanket and closing her heavy eyelids. She didn’t expect to fall asleep but within a few minutes she was completely oblivious to Faith and her channel surfing.

Willow was still sleeping at lunch time when a knock came on the door. Muting the TV and putting a cookie back in its packet Faith went to answer the door. “Oh, hi Oz.”

“I didn’t think you’d still be here.”

Faith shrugged. “Just chillin’. Willow’s asleep in there,” she gestured towards the living room.

Oz made his way to the living room and peered around the doorframe a wave of relief washing over him at the sight of Willow tucked up safe and sound in the arm chair. She looked pale and her hair was pulled off her face but loose strands had escaped their confines and curled against her cheek. “She alright?”

“Been sleeping for a few hours now and no throwing up.”

“Good. I won’t wake her I just wanted to make sure she was okay. Tell her I’ll come by after school about five o’clock.”

“Sure. No problem.”

Oz stared at Willow a moment longer, there was no point hanging around if she was asleep. “Tell her not to worry about going out, we’ll spend the night watching videos.”

Pushing her hair back from her face Faith nodded and closed the door behind Oz when he took his leave. Returning to the couch and biting into the cookie she’d had to abandon Faith examined Willow closely. She couldn’t help wondering if Willow was awake right now and she was given the choice exactly what she would choose, spending the night watching videos with Oz or going out with Spike.

XxX

Willow woke around four o’clock feeling a lot more alive and a lot less delicate. She stretched and yawned smiling at Faith who was stretched out on the couch remote in her hand, a bag of cookies on her stomach and a can of pepsi on the coffee table.

“What are you watching?”

Faith jumped at the sound of her voice. “You’re awake. Good, means I don’t have to wake you.”

“Wake me? Is there a problem? Did something happen when I was asleep?”

“No, nothing like that. Oz came over at lunch time, he said he’d be here at five o’clock and you’d spend the night together watching videos. Wicked good times there, Red.”

Willow scrambled to her feet her fingers digging about in her untidy hair. “I’d better get in the shower and wash my hair, I don’t have long. Thanks for sticking around today, Faith, I know you probably had better things to do than baby sit me in my hung over state.”

Faith shrugged and got to her feet. “No big deal.”

What else was she going to say, she had nothing else to do all day. Unless B called with a Slayer emergency she was pretty much left to her own devices, that was nothing new for her but Faith didn’t exactly want to admit that to Willow.

“Well, thanks anyway.”

Pulling on her jacket and taking up the half empty can of pepsi Faith headed for the door. “Enjoy your night. Probably do you good to have a quite one after last night.” She tilted the can at Willow and left the house.

Willow stood in the hallway for a few minutes staring at the door chewing on her bottom lip. There was a part of her that wanted to yank open the door and beg Faith to stay and not leave her alone with Oz. It was difficult to think of Oz without feeling guilty about the way she had been behaving the last couple of days.

Still, Willow went ahead and showered and washed her hair. She felt much better when she was clean and a lot less like an extra from the Night of the Living Dead.

Dressing in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt she was popping some popcorn when Oz knocked on the door. She greeted him with a smile, relieved when he hugged her and kissed her cheek, his eyes clear of accusations.

“Are you feeling better?”

“Oh yes, I’m much better now.”

“If you’d rather go to sleep I could leave?”

“No,” she shook her head. “I was just making popcorn. You, um, you didn’t bring any videos. Faith said we were going to watch videos.”

“We are,” Oz said taking his jacket off and throwing it over the stair rail. “I thought I’d let you pick, anything you want.”

Willow smiled. “Anything I want?”

“The slushier the better,” Oz assured her. “Go sit down, I’ll get the popcorn and some soda.”

She liked the classics but she didn’t feel right in picking a movie that Oz wouldn’t enjoy. He had a thing for Julia Roberts, although he hadn’t flat out admitted it and Willow always found it amusing considering Julia Roberts legs were bigger than Oz, so she chose _Pretty Woman_ and popped it into the video recorder before making herself comfortable on the couch.

“Popcorn’s up,” Oz came into the room and plopped down on the couch next to her with a bowl of popcorn in his hands and two cans of soda in his arms. “What am I in for?”

“Julia Roberts.” Willow watched him out of the corner of her eye a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

“Oh,” he nodded. “My second favourite red head.”

Willow laughed. “I knew you liked her.”

Oz smiled and stroked her hair back from her face. “I’ve got a weakness for red hair.”

He lent in and kissed her, a kiss that was soft and light like angel cake. Oz kissage. It was always like this.

Willow’s eyes fluttered shut her arms wrapping around his neck as she kissed him back. He had such soft lips, they were familiar and wonderful and Willow’s fingers curled tighter into his shoulders when he deepened his kiss, his tongue touching lightly to hers.

Unbidden a memory flashed across her brain, Willow knew it was a memory even if it was slightly fuzzy. It was a memory of another tongue, cool and sure stroking against her hand; Spike.

She jerked back from Oz as though he had electrocuted her.

“Something wrong?”

“I, um, I don’t want you to get sick,” she stammered. “I think I’m all better now, but just in case.”

“I didn’t think of that.” Oz picked up the remote and hit play. “Lets watch my second favourite red head, shall we?”

Willow smiled and snuggled into his side, her fingers stroked absently between the thumb and forefinger of her right hand.

XxX

Spike strode into the library his duster flapping around his ankles and a cigarette clamped between his teeth. Angel followed his eyes lighting up when they landed on Buffy, it was both highly amusing and extremely disgusting to see how ridiculously Slayer whipped Angel was. No wonder Angelus had wanted to destroy this Slayer so much, he’d had a lot to make up for thanks to the soul.

And speaking of souls, where was his little witch?

Buffy smiled, a look of utter adoration in her eyes when she saw Angel come through the door. “Hey.” She slipped her arms around his waist and squeezed him gently.

“Hey,” he was very aware of Spike and that awareness made his voice gruff.

“Any, um, episodes today?” Buffy asked reaching up to smooth his cheek.

Angel sighed and rubbed her shoulders.

“There was, what happened?”

“I had a dream…”

“Don’t tell me,” Spike said. “You don’t wanna talk about that one either.”

Angel scowled at him. “There was a round table with candles in the centre and it had these ritualistic artefacts arranged on it to form three spokes. There were three people sitting around the table chanting…”

“Do you know what the artefacts were? What were they chanting?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Let him finish, Giles.”

Spike was only half listening, Willow wasn’t there and neither was the wolf. He couldn’t find it in him to muster any kind of interest in what Angel was saying when Willow and the wolf were absent.

“I couldn’t understand what they were saying and I didn’t recognise any of the artefacts, but I saw their faces and they didn’t have any eyes, just runes.” Angel looked at Giles with pleading eyes. “I should be suffering an eternity of torture in a hell dimension somewhere…”

“I don't feel particularly inclined to argue with that,” Giles said.

“No!” Buffy exclaimed at the same time. Her face coloured and she determinedly avoided looking at Giles and everyone else, especially when she heard a snort of contempt that could only have come from Cordelia.

Spike grinned, distracted from thoughts of Willow and the wolf for a moment by the awkward tension in the room.

Angel pressed on regardless, he had started now and he needed to finish, even though common sense told him he should have spoken to Giles privately. “I need to know why I was brought back.”

“Give him peace of mind, like,” Spike said. He could hardly believe that he was part of this conversation again; Angel and his precious soul and his Holy Grail quest for redemption.

Giles eyebrows lifted. “You think that's something you ought to have?”

“Does it matter?” Faith asked, she was sitting opposite Cordelia at the table a book in her hand. She wasn’t one for research, she was more action gal, but the situation with Spike and Willow had piqued her interest enough that she wanted to know a bit more about it. She had discovered that everyone else was as clueless as she was. She had also discovered there was an issue going on with Angel, Giles hadn’t been too happy to find out that she’d hadn’t known about that. Apparently B should have called her for back up the previous night and she hadn’t.

“Of course it matters!” Buffy snapped.

“What I mean is, whether he should be suffering an eternity of torture or whether he should have peace of mind makes no real difference, that isn’t the problem, is it?”

“No,” Giles said with a small sigh. “You’re quite right, Faith.”

Buffy stared mouth agape and Faith couldn’t help feeling pleased.

“We need to find out what’s going on here. These ghosts, the dreams, it’s all part of something, it has to be,” Giles said. “We just have to find out what that is.”

“So, where do we start?” Xander asked.

“The Black Chronicles,” Giles said going to a book case.

Spike tuned out the Watcher as he droned on about books to read and turned to Faith. “Where’s Willow?”

“At home,” Faith said. “She’s been sick all day. Rough as hell.”

Spike was well aware from the knowing look Faith gave him that she knew just why Willow had been sick. He felt bad that he hadn’t thought of that when she had been doing tequila shooters, the hang over part was far from his mind at the time. “So she’s staying home tonight?”

“Oz is with her.”

Spike’s face tightened and his shoulders stiffened.

“They’re watching videos,” Faith said with a roll of her eyes. “Wild times.”

Watching videos. Together. In an empty house. In the dark. Together. Spike didn’t like it. He turned on his heel and headed for the door.

Angel called after him. “Where are you going?”

“Well you ain’t doin’ anythin’ to help me tonight so I’m off. Got more interestin’ things to do.”

Angel didn’t ask him to stay and he didn’t argue the point. Spike would be a complete pain in the ass if he was forced to stay and would be anything other than a help.

Spike was slightly surprised that Angel hadn’t put up a fight to make him stay but he didn’t ponder it for long. He made his way to Willow’s house chain smoking the entire time, his eyes flashing from blue to yellow and back again.

He slowed his pace when he reached the Rosenberg house. There was a pale flickering of light against the living room curtain which he assumed to be the TV, other than that the house was in darkness. Spike made his way across the front lawn to stand outside the window. There was a small crack in the middle where the curtains didn’t quite meet and Spike peered in.

Willow was sat on the couch with her feet curled up beneath her and a blanket thrown across her lap. She was tucked under Oz’s arm and his fingers trailed slowly through her hair as he picked at the popcorn with his free hand.

Spike’s eyebrows rushed together in a furious scowl above yellow eyes, the muscles and bones shifting in his face as his ridges emerged and his fangs lengthened. His fingers slipping beneath the cuff of his coat to stroke against the band of black velvet he had fastened to his wrist.

His mood as dark and black as the night surrounding him Spike stalked away from Willow’s house his mind full of murderous thoughts.

 

His thumb rubbed continuously at the soft velvet of the choker on his wrist the faint scent of Willow catching in his nostrils every now and again.

 

There was a part of him, the reasonable part, although that was quickly being beaten down with imagining all the ways he could torture the wolf before he let him feel the sweet release of death; that told Spike he was behaving like a total wanker and had no reason to hate the wolf or feel this blinding all consuming jealously at seeing him with Willow.

 

But still his thoughts persisted. Still the image of the two of them curled up all nice and cosy on the sofa plagued him and made his borrowed blood boil dangerously in his veins.

 

The little witch had gotten under his skin that was for damn sure. He had fun when they were together, it was the kind of good time that had nothing to do with blood and death; it was a refreshing change.

 

There was a part of her inside him, they were joined, tied together in a way he had never been with anyone else even Drusilla.

 

Spike shook his head a look of confusion crossing his face. Drusilla was his princess, his beloved, his one and only; his only reason to un-live. She should be all he thought about, all he wanted; but quite suddenly, she wasn’t. It was all Willow’s fault, she had performed that spell and bollocked everything up, and now he was jealous of a high school boy.

 

He was getting as pathetic as the poof.

 

Only he wasn’t, he couldn’t be. Angel was fawning about after a Slayer, Nancy boy that he was; Spike had a connection with Willow that went beyond the shared soul. There was something between them; he had felt it the previous night when her tongue stroked slowly against his hand, when her mouth covered his fingers making his cock hard and an ache uncurl in the pit of his stomach.

 

Willow wanted him and Spike knew she did. So why was she with the wolf tonight and not him? He was shut out, ignored, forgotten about and it made Spike furious.

 

Why was it always him who was kicked to the curb in favour of some other man?

 

Spike turned a corner brow furrowed as he tired to make sense of all the muddled thoughts that would continue to pester him until he had them in some semblance of order. A flash of red caught the corner of his eye and Spike’s head snapped around expecting to see Willow. Of course it wasn’t Willow, she was shut away from the night all snugly with the wolf; Spike growled with displeasure.

 

He watched the woman who had caught his attention. She was a little older than Willow, perhaps early twenties, all shut up in a phone booth. Spike crossed the road and waited until the woman had finished talking and hung up. She had russet auburn hair cut into a severe bob and she wasn’t freshly pretty and innocent like Willow but was rather hard faced. Spike didn’t care. He growled again his face shifting to that of his demon and he pounced as soon as the woman stepped out of the glass booth.

 

She screamed; a sound of pure terror as arms closed around her like a steel trap. Spike smiled, he liked it when they screamed. He struck like a snake, his fangs ripping into the woman’s throat uncaring as to the mess he made, wanting only to feed, to hurt, to punish her for not wanting him tonight.

 

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

 

 

“Oh yeah,” Xander said clapping his hands together a wide grin on his face. “Last day before Christmas vacation. My kinda school day.”

 

“It’ll be so nice to have some time off,” Buffy agreed leaning against the lockers, relishing the cool feel of the metal beneath her bare shoulder. “What’ve you got planned for Christmas Break Wills?”

 

“Being Jewish,” Willow said with a tilt of her head. “Remember people, we don’t all worship Santa.”

 

Buffy grinned and shook her head. “I just meant you know, any fun plans, not necessarily Christmas plans.”

 

“Oh,” Willow sighed. “No not really, my parents aren’t coming home until New Year so I’m pretty much doing my own thing. Whatever that is.”

 

“The Dingos got any gigs?” Xander asked Oz.

 

“A few. We’ll be at The Bronze twice next week and Devon thinks he’s scored us a gig in L.A.” he paused and looked at Willow, “I’m not sure me leaving town right now is such a good idea though.”

 

She looked confused. “Why not?”

 

Oz didn’t answer right away he just examined Willow closely. She looked all Willow-like today with her hair in braids, a multicoloured striped top, jeans and her yellow smiley face backpack and there was no rising of his hackles; that didn’t mean that Oz trusted what he saw. It was Willow, the girl he loved, and Oz was taking no chances with her safety.

 

“Well,” he said at last. “I thought we’d need all hands on deck to figure out this problem with you and Spike.”

 

“Oh,” Willow’s lips turned down at the corners. “That.”

 

“You know what,” Xander clapped his hands again. “Let’s not talk about the evil undead right now. Let’s just bask in the glow of the last day of school.”

 

Buffy nodded. “Good plan.”

 

“I’ve been known to have them.”

 

“Oh yeah? When?” Buffy teased.

 

“I seem to recall an ugly ancient guy sitting in _judge_ ment on us all.”

 

“Your right,” Buffy held up her hands in a sigh of surrender. “You really pulled it outta the bag with the Judge, Xan.”

 

“It was pretty inspired,” Oz said.

 

“You want a man with the plan, it’s the Xan-Man.”

 

“Could you be any lamer?” Cordelia sniffed as she came up beside Buffy.

 

“Admit it, Cordelia, your just jealous ‘cos I have all the good ideas and not you,” Xander said taking her hand and lacing his fingers through hers.

 

“Yes,” she said patiently, “That’s exactly what it is, Xander.”

 

“So, class?” Willow suggested, the corridor was beginning to thin out as students headed to the first class of the day.

 

“Lets do it,” Buffy said. “Just a few hours to get through and then we’re outta here.”

 

“Anyone know what Faith’s up to over the holidays?” Oz wondered.

 

“Probably hanging out in some sleazy bar doing some skanky stuff,” Cordelia wrinkled her nose. “I on the other hand will be skiing. Did I tell you, Oz?”

 

“You may have mentioned it.” Oz replied. “Did she say anything to you yesterday?” he looked to Willow.

 

Willow shook her head. “I was sleeping for most of the day, I wasn’t exactly chatty girl. We should make more of an effort with her, shouldn’t we?”

 

“Yeah we should,” Buffy agreed. “I’ve already had the lecture off my mom about that. She wants to invite her to spend Christmas Eve with us.”

 

“That should be nice,” Willow gave her friend an encouraging smile.

 

Buffy did not appear to be encouraged by it. “I guess.”

 

“We could invite her to The Bronze,” Oz suggested. “She did spend all day yesterday looking after Willow.”

 

“Definitely gets points for that,” Buffy squeezed Willow’s arm. “Okay, let’s do it. As soon as we figure out this bizarro problem with Angel we’ll Bronze it and I’ll bring Faith along.”

 

A sense of annoyance needled the back of Willow’s mind. It would never cease to amaze her how Buffy could conveniently forget all about any other problem when it suited her. It was always Angel. Only twenty four hours ago Buffy had been hell bent on solving the Spike/ soul problem but now it appeared that she and Spike could take a back seat to Angel and his dreams.

 

Willow glowered. Maybe she would let Buffy do all the research and all the reading and the cross referencing and the patrolling and the mooning about over Angel and see how well she did without her.

 

XxX

 

Willow’s dark thoughts about Buffy had disintegrated by the time lunch rolled around and she had forgotten all about her friend’s comments on Angel.

 

She was sitting comfortably on Oz’s lap at a table by the window the sun warm on the back of her neck and spilling on to Buffy’s hair turning it golden in the light. Xander was having a rather gross conversation with Oz about how many fries he could fit in his mouth at one time while Buffy chatted on about French class. Cordelia was still in the lunch line with Harmony beside her, she had a bored look on her face and Willow giggled to herself.

 

“School food,” Buffy glared at her plate of lasagne. “I’m so not going to miss this.”

 

“It’s not the tastiest treat,” Willow agreed breaking off the top of her banana. “Oh look, it’s Giles.”

 

Buffy turned and saw Giles falling into step with Cordelia and cross the canteen to their table. “Hey, Giles.”

 

Cordelia took a seat next to Xander. “So, what’s with the dire face, Giles?”

 

“Yeah G-Man, how can you be all doom and gloom when it’s the last day of school?” Xander tutted and shook his head in mock disgust.

 

“I take it not one of you have seen the paper today?” Giles took the newspaper from under his arm and smoothed it flat in the centre of the table. He tapped the front page. “Six women were killed last night. The police are refusing to comment on it but somehow this reporter got wind of the story overnight and here it is on the front page.”

 

“Six!” Cordelia exclaimed her forkful of salad half way to her mouth.

 

“Vamps?” Xander looked to Giles for confirmation.

 

Buffy sat up straighter. “Some sort of ritual?”

 

“Are we sure it’s a hellmouth thing?” Oz turned the paper around so that he could scan the article.

 

“God I hope so,” Buffy cracked her knuckles.

 

“I don’t know,” Giles admitted. “There isn’t an awful lot to go on in the paper. Willow, do you think you could perhaps find something on the computer?”

 

“No problem, I’ll pull up the police files and the coroner’s data base and see what they have to say.”

 

Giles gave her a grateful look. “Wonderful. I don’t know where we’d be without you.”

 

It would do no harm, Giles thought, to remind Willow just how important she was to him and to Buffy. If Willow could really see how they valued her help, if she didn’t feel as though they were taking advantage of her kind nature then maybe it would assist in curbing Spike’s influence over her and keep her on the right path.

 

Willow beamed her cheeks pinking at the praise and she looked to Giles the way she always looked; like Willow. Nice, kind, dependable Willow with never a bad word to say about anyone. But no matter how much he tried not to, Giles could still feel that ray of sunshine dipping behind a dark cloud.

 

Buffy, Oz and Willow accompanied Giles back to the library leaving Xander to stay with Cordelia until she finished her lunch. Willow immediately went behind the counter and fired up the computer, it always made her smile that Giles never switched it on unless he absolutely had to.

 

Leaning against the counter and dropping her bag at her feet Buffy asked, “Are there any obvious links between the women?”

 

“Not really,” Giles said tossing the paper on the counter. “All different ages, not much on their backgrounds at this juncture. The only thing that connects them at the moment is their hair.”

 

Eyebrows lifting in surprise Oz said, “Their hair?”

 

“All red heads,” Giles said.

 

“So what does that mean?” Buffy’s fingers played along the edge of the newspaper. “Is someone or something sacrificing red heads for some sort of ritual?”

 

Willow paled. “I hope not.”

 

“No-one’s getting you,” Buffy said firmly.

 

“Definitely not,” Oz agreed. “Would hair colour even matter in a ritual? I’ve heard of virgin sacrifices but never red head sacrifices.”

 

“Bit risky too,” Buffy said thoughtfully. “I mean, you see a woman on the street with red hair but you don’t know that’s her actual hair colour. Not everyone’s natural like our Wills.”

 

Willow smiled and touched a hand to one of her braids. The police department really should take better precautions with their security system, she clicked her tongue against her teeth, it was ridiculously easy to breach it.

 

“I’m not positive that it’s a ritual sacrifice,” Giles said. “With a ritual sacrifice the sacrifice is at the place of the ritual.”

 

“Like an altar?” Oz asked.

 

“Precisely; or pouring the sacrificial blood upon a pentagram drawn on the floor, or drinking the blood at a certain stage in the ritual. Sacrifices aren’t generally left scattered all over town.”

 

“The bodies weren’t all together?”

 

Giles shook his head. “No, Buffy, they were found where they fell.”

 

“Vamp’s then?” she suggested a frown on her face. “Should we be expecting some newly risen pains in my ass or what?”

 

“I don’t know,” Giles sighed. “We’ll have to see what Willow uncovers.”

 

Willow sat back after scanning the coroner’s data base. “I’d say vampires. Unidentified bite radius on the neck and body drained of blood.”

 

Buffy snorted. “Unidentified bite radius. Guess I’d better hit the morgue tonight, huh?”

 

“Best to be safe,” Giles said. “I’m not sure what significance the hair colour has, if any, but six women in one night is concerning, especially if they rise.”

 

“I’ll drop in as soon as it gets dark.”

 

“Do you want some help?” Oz offered.

 

“Maybe you better have some back up, Buffy. Just in case.”

 

“If you say so, Giles. Sure, Oz, that would be great.”

 

Giles frowned. “I was thinking more along the lines of Faith. No offence, Oz.”

 

Oz shook his head. “None taken.”

 

Buffy’s smile was strained, she didn’t see why she, Oz and Xander couldn’t go, they’d faced worse in their time and they were all still standing. She was trying to get on board with Faith but it was difficult having another Slayer around. Besides, apart from the Slayer thing she and Faith had nothing in common; they weren’t two people who would naturally choose to spend time together.

 

“It’s nearly time for class,” Willow said getting up. “I’ll look again later and see if there’s any other statements or reports I can find in the police files.”

 

“What about the newspaper?” Oz suggested. “If you could get into their system there might be something there.”

 

“That’s a good idea,” Willow said. “I’ll check there later too. I never really think to look at their site, we always know more than they do.”

 

“That’s because you and Giles are better investigators.”

 

Willow smiled. “Thanks, Buff. Has a ring to it, doesn’t it, Giles and Rosenberg Investigations.”

 

“You could totally fight crime,” Buffy said grinning when Giles lips pursed. “In tights,” she added her grin deepening.

 

Giles sighed and rolled his eyes at their laughter and went to tidy some books away.

 

“That’s really more of superhero thing,” Oz said, “But he could make it work.”

 

“Oh definitely,” Buffy agreed.

 

They continued to debate the merits of Giles in tights as they left the library and Giles smiled to himself, it was always nice to see them behaving like every day regular teenagers without the stress of impending doom on their shoulders.

 

XxX

 

Squatting on her haunches before the TV Faith scowled and gave it a vicious thump, stupid thing was all static. She barely glanced at the door when the knock came. “Yeah?”

 

Willow pushed open the door and eyed the irate Slayer who continued to thump the life out of the TV set. “Everything alright?”

 

“I told you this thing was crappy,” Faith muttered hitting the off switch and standing up. “What’s up?”

 

“Nothing really,” Willow said glancing around the little room. She had rather hoped that the rooms would be better than the outside of the motel suggested; she had been wrong. “I um, I like your lights.”

 

Faith glanced at the string of red Christmas lights she had strung along the wall. “’Tis the season and everything.”

 

“Hum,” Willow shrugged. “Jewish, so….”

 

Faith nodded, “Gotcha.” She waited but Willow said nothing more no matter how hard she stared at her. “Something on your mind?”

 

“Oh, well, I… um, well, I was sort of hoping that maybe, you could help me out with something.”

 

“What sort of something?” A week ago Faith would have been mystified as to what Little Miss Good Girl could possibly want her help with, now though she was curious as to what Willow had in mind that perfect Buffy wasn’t first on the list of helpers.

 

“I’m heading to the mall and I thought that… well I hoped that you’d come with me.”

 

Faith’s eyebrows shot up. “The mall? What for? I mean, why me?”

 

“Well,” Willow stepped further into the room her fingers picking absently at some colourful fluff on her equally colourful sweater. “Do you remember the other day when you asked if I was changing my look? Well, I decided that I should. Change my look I mean. Like I said, everything I own is fuzzy.” She glared at the sweater. “Like this.”

 

“So where do I come in?” Faith dug her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. “I’m not exactly Fashion Queen, you know.”

 

Willow let out a long breath. “The obvious person to ask would be Cordelia but I don’t want to wear what Cordelia says is in style and what Cordelia thinks is best. Besides she’d treat me like a living breathing Barbie doll.”

 

“Yeah, she probably would. What about B? Isn’t the girl bonding and girly shopping more B’s thing?”

 

Willow folded her arms across her chest. “I don’t want to look like a mini Buffy. She’s tried making me change my look before and she doesn’t listen to what I like and what I don’t.”

 

Although Willow had to admit that if it weren’t for Buffy’s insistence she wouldn’t have had that Halloween outfit and Spike wouldn’t have taken her to Willy’s.

 

“You’re not the height of fashion like Cordelia or tiny skirts like Buffy. You’re more…. Normal,” Willow said after a pause. “Comfortable and normal and not bright and fluffy. I just….”

 

“Yeah alright I’ll go with you,” Faith held up a hand to cut off Willow’s rambling, besides, with the TV busted she didn’t exactly have anything else to do right now. “Lets face it, your wardrobe is a cry for help.”

 

Willow sighed. “Yeah I guess it is. How come I never realised how bad it was before?”

 

Faith shrugged as she grabbed her keys and her jacket. “People change, they grow up and their tastes change. Just the way it is.”

 

“Don’t let me buy anything fuzzy, okay?”

 

“Deal.”

 

Faith wasn’t particularly a big fan of shopping and luckily for her neither was Willow. They picked a shop, went in, looked around and if something caught Willow’s eye she tried it on. There was no lingering around, no looking at every single item in the shop, no oohing and ahhing over the shoes and accessories; it was Faith’s kind of shopping.

 

She found Willow easy enough to be around. Willow didn’t pout when Faith gave her honest opinion, she didn’t spend ages staring and twisting and scrutinizing herself in the changing room mirrors, if she liked it she bought it, if she didn’t she put it back. No muss, no fuss.

 

“I need a new going out outfit,” Willow said after a while swapping the carrier bags from her left to her right hand and flexing her fingers. She was glad Faith was there with her super Slayer strength, it was handy having a Slayer to carry her bags. “I only have the one you saw in a heap on the floor and Spike won’t take me to Willy’s again if I don’t have an appropriate outfit.”

 

“He say that?”

 

“Not in those words exactly but yeah, pretty much.”

 

Faith grinned. “Got to admit I checked out the outfit on the floor, pretty radical for you, isn’t it? Where’d you get it?”

 

“It was a Halloween costume Buffy picked out for me.”

 

Faith frowned. “B sent you out on Halloween as a hooker?”

 

Willow was immediately indignant. “No! I was a ghost!” she paused, a horrified look on her face. “Do you think I looked like a… like _that_ in it? Spike didn’t say so, he said I… what was it? Oh yeah, that I did very well.”

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“I asked him if I’d do, you know, if I looked alright to go to Willy’s and he said that I did very well. He seemed to like it, the outfit I mean.”

 

Faith grinned. “Yeah, I bet he did.”

 

The response was loaded with meaning and Willow flushed. Turning her head away she made a bee line for the next shop she saw. Faith followed her laughing quietly which just proved to inflame Willow’s cheeks even more.

 

Willing her face to return to normal colour Willow wandered between the racks of clothing stopping to run her fingers over the cool fabric of a blue top, it had pretty little flowers and birds embroidered on it in an oriental pattern.

 

“What’s with you and blue?” Faith asked leaning her elbow on the rack and eyeing the top. “Nearly everything you look at first is blue.”

 

“It reminds me of Spike’s eyes.” Willow gasped, her eyes growing wide. Had she just said that? She had, she could tell by the way Faith was looking at her. Withdrawing her hand from the top she took a step back from it her hand resting over her suddenly racing heart.

 

She had no idea where that thought had come from, she hadn’t deliberately been looking at blue clothing, she hadn’t realised that she had been doing it until Faith had pointed it out.

 

Confusion, it swamped her and caught her thoughts, twisting them, playing with them, laying them bare for scrutiny when she would prefer not to have to deal with them at all.

 

“There’s a red dress on the wall over there, looks nice,” Faith gestured over Willow’s shoulder. “Go try it on and then we’ll get something to eat, yeah?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Dazed, Willow went through the motions of collecting the dress, trying it on, doing a twirl for Faith’s approval and finally buying it. The joy had gone out of the afternoon, not that it was all that great to begin with, Willow disliked shopping as much as Faith did, but they’d been getting along well and Willow had been enjoying herself; until the colour blue was mentioned.

 

They were silent leaving the shop, they were still silent when they found a place to eat and ordered burgers and fries and they remained silent until the food came and Willow desperately launched into an account of the six murdered women.

 

Faith listened dipping her fries into the blob of ketchup on her plate. It was lucky that she had read the article that morning, keeping up with Willow’s rapid pace was a difficult thing to do. The girl hardly paused long enough to chew her food; Faith was positive she just bit into her burger and swallowed.

 

“So I guess I’ll swing by the library tonight and head to the morgue with B.”

 

Willow nodded sipping at her soda.

 

“You going to the library tonight?”

 

“Yeah, depending on what you and Buffy find at the morgue there might be research to be done.”

 

“So no plans with Spike then?” Faith rolled her eyes when Willow started. “Oh come on, Willow, one of us had to mention him.”

 

“No,” she said carefully. “I don’t think so. I haven’t seen him. I don’t make plans with him, he just sort of shows up.” Willow felt it was important that Faith know that although she couldn’t quite say why.

 

“And you drop everything and go with him.” She said it simply, there was no judgement in her tone that wasn’t her style, but she was curious about the relationship between Willow and Spike it seemed to be moving along at breakneck speed. She’d been with him nearly every night this week.

 

Willow opened her mouth to refute the claim but found that she couldn’t. That was exactly what she did. She lied to her friends, she blew off research, she got drunk with a vicious vampire like Spike and she wasn’t sorry about it.

 

“Yes.”

 

Willow didn’t elaborate and Faith didn’t push it, she wasn’t sure that there was much else Willow could tell her right now even if she was so inclined.

 

“Weird about Angel, huh?”

 

Faith nodded and took a drink of her soda. It was odd, but she didn’t get the feeling that Willow was changing the subject in order to avoid a difficult conversation about Spike. Somehow, and Faith wasn’t sure exactly how she knew as she had never really been very good with people; but in spite of everything that was going on, in spite of the fact that so far as she could see Spike was the one very real thing in her life, he still didn’t quite exist for Willow beyond the shared soul.

 

“I hope we can find a way to fix it for him and soon, he’s been to hell and back, he needs some peace.”

 

“Giles doesn’t see it that way.”

 

Willow’s brow furrowed. “Maybe he has a right to feel that way, but, well, Angel’s spent a hundred years in hell, doesn’t that kinda make it even Stevens?”

 

Faith shrugged. “No point asking me, I’m no expert on the rights and wrongs of things. If I wanna do something then I’ll do it and worry about the consequences later. Maybe.”

 

“Do you like Angel?”

 

“Don’t really know much about him. He’s hot, I can tell you that much.”

 

“Attractive,” Willow amended.

 

Lips twisting into a grin Faith leant back in her chair. “Your tastes run to smoking hot, bleached blonde, British vamps, don’t they, Red?”

 

“If I had to make a choice,” Willow said slowly. “Then yes, I’d choose Spike.”

 

“You like him. Spike I mean.”

 

“Yes,” Willow nodded once. “Yes I like him.”

 

It wasn’t a confession, she said it in much the same way she would say she liked Angel or Giles or some random person in her class, but she didn’t pick out clothing that matched Angel’s eyes or Giles eyes or even her own eyes and Faith simply didn’t understand how Willow didn’t see that.

 

“I think Giles is wrong.”

 

Faith blinked in surprise. So far as she could tell there was no such thing as Giles being wrong. “About what?”

 

“Angel.”

 

“How’d you mean?”

 

“Buffy sent him to hell with his soul, he’s paid the price for what he did. The universe brought him back and there has to be a reason for that. It’s not to make him suffer that much I do know, he was suffering quite well in the hell dimension he was trapped in for a century.”

 

“What’re you getting at?”

 

“He’s back for a reason, the universe, fate or whatever you want to call it has seen to that. No-one tried to bring him back he just appeared one day. I figure the universe feels he’s done his penance and who’s Giles to argue with forces strong enough to bring Angel back from a hell dimension? He’s back for a reason, I don’t know what that reason is, but there is a reason for his return.”

 

“Probably.”

 

“Giles isn’t the only one to suffer at Angelus’ hands, and just because he has suffered doesn’t give him the right to play judge, jury and executioner.”

 

“Maybe not, but I don’t think he sees it that way.”

 

“He’s wrong,” Willow said again, her voice firm and her eyes almost defiant.

 

“Well, I agree with you. I don’t have a clue why he’s here, but I think there is a reason that Angel’s back.” Eyes narrowing thoughtfully, Faith decided to just throw her next comment out there and see what Willow did with it. “He’s different to other demons, he’s a vamp with a soul, makes him special, unique.”

 

An indignant look crossed Willow’s face and a frown creased her forehead. “He’s a vampire cursed with a soul and he’s not the only one with a soul. Therefore, he’s not special or unique.”

 

Right then, now she knew, note to Slayer, don’t say anything bad about Spike, don’t dismiss Spike and don’t insult Spike. Faith had the feeling that whether she realised it or not Willow was very much in Spike’s corner and that, Faith just knew, was going to complicate everything.

 


	15. Chapter 15

 

Chapter 15

 

 

Spike barely glanced into the living room as he passed by on the way to the kitchen, but he noticed Angel in his little white tank top and his little black sweat pants doing his stupid little Tai Chi workout.

 

“Wanker,” he muttered digging his cigarettes and lighter out of his pocket.

 

The house was so quiet he could hear Angel doing his stupid breathing techniques; Spike rolled his eyes. “You’re dead you pillock! You don’t need to breathe.”

 

Angel’s response was immediate and fairly even. “I’ve also got supernatural hearing, you don’t need to shout, Spike.”

 

Blowing out a stream of smoke Spike flicked the radio on for a little background noise half expecting some poofy ballet music to come bleeding out of the speakers. He remembered being in L.A. with Angelus and being forced to sit through a ballet performance. They’d gotten to eat the people in the box they commandeered which was good, but not good enough to alleviate the boredom the ballet brought out in him. He hadn’t been allowed to leave though and had to suffer through not just the prancing about on stage but Angelus bawling like a baby next to him.

 

It turned out that Angel had the radio tuned to the local news station. Spike made a face and reached to turn the dial but before he got halfway there the news came on and they started talking about the six dead red headed women. Spike paused and took a seat staring fixedly at the radio as he absorbed it all. It wasn’t the first time he had made the headlines but his chest swelled with pride just the same.

 

The smile faded from his lips when the news reporter started talking about Jessica Stevens, she was the one found by the phone booth, Spike knew her as victim number one. It turned out that Jessica Stevens had been phoning for a cab; it had been the driver who had found her lying dead in the gutter where Spike had dropped her. That in itself didn’t bother him, but she left behind a five year old boy and that sort of did.

 

Then came the background information on Rebecca Hartland, Spike remembered her as victim number five; she had been taking a fag break around the back of a factory when he had come across her. She left behind an eight year old and a four year old, both boys. That bothered him too.

 

Spike switched the radio off just as Angel appeared to pour a mug of blood. He had of course heard the news report from the other room and he had already brought the paper in and read the article. He suspected vampires and intended to head to the library once the sun set to offer his help to Buffy.

 

He eyed Spike as he took the blood out of the fridge; no snort of derision, no snarky comment, not even an eye roll. “Something wrong?”

 

Spike turned in his seat and flicked ash over the table much to Angel’s annoyance. “Did you hear?”

 

“Yeah.” Angel popped his blood into the microwave and found a saucer for Spike to use as an ashtray.

 

“Those poor little kids.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

It was a strange feeling, Spike didn’t feel bad about killing the women, even the two mothers, but he did feel bad for the kids left behind. He didn’t regret his killings, didn’t wish he could take it back; but still, it was too bad for the kids.

 

“They’re like us,” he said after a moment’s pause and stubbed out the cigarette with agitated fingers.

 

“How’d you mean?” Angel failed to see any similarities between two century old vampires and a couple of little kids.

 

The microwave beeped and Angel removed his meal.

 

“Orphans.”

 

Angel started. “What?”

 

“Didn’t mention any dad’s,” he said waving a hand towards the radio.

 

“There might be dad’s.”

 

“Maybe,” Spike conceded. “But we’re still orphans, aren’t we?”

 

“I guess,” Angel shrugged his large shoulders. “I can’t say that I’ve given it much thought.”

 

Spike merely nodded, he could understand that, he hadn’t given it a thought until now either. “Our parents are dead. That makes us orphans.”

 

“I suppose it does. I just tend to think of kids when I hear the word orphan.” He took a sip of blood. “And we did kill our parents, Spike. I’m not sure that the word really applies to us.”

 

“We don’t have parents; that makes us orphans.”

 

“Technically, yes, I guess it does. What’s your point?”

 

Spike shrugged his fingers tracing the edge of the saucer. He remained silent for a while and Angel leant against the counter drinking his mug of blood. Something told him to stay, that Spike wasn’t done yet.

 

 

“Do you miss ‘em?”

 

“Who?”

 

“Your parents.”

 

Angel considered the question licking blood off his lip. He remembered doing that, remembered licking the blood of his father, his mother and his little sister off his lips all those years ago after indulging in the glory of his first kill. He had killed them, he lived with the guilt of that but he hadn’t thought about missing them. “My sister, yes. Maybe my mother.”

 

“Not your father?”

 

“We never really got along. I wasn’t the son he wanted me to be. I wasn’t the man he wanted me to be. I feel bad about killing him, but I don’t think I miss him. I think he’d rather like this version of me though, how’s that for ironic.”

 

“He wanted you to be a better person,” Spike said quietly.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“He wanted you to be a better man.”

 

“He did,” Angel nodded once in agreement.

 

Spike let out a small wistful breath. “He must ‘ave loved you a lot.”

 

Angel’s eyes went wide. “I… what?”

 

“He wanted the best for you, that’s what you do when you love someone. You want the best for ‘em. Sometimes it turns out alright an’ other times it destroys ‘em.”

 

Playing for time Angel swilled out the mug and placed it carefully on the draining bored to drip dry. There was something brewing in this boy of his and Angel had no idea what it was or where it had come from. Was it Spike? Was it Willow? Was it a combination of them both?

 

He didn’t get a chance to ponder it for long and try and phrase his question just right, Spike spoke again.

 

“I destroyed her you know.”

 

Sudden panic gripped Angel, an icy cold dread trickled down his spine. “Who?”

 

“Me mum.”

 

Angel relaxed, for one horrible, terror -filled moment he thought Spike had meant Willow. “I know, but it’s nothing I didn’t do to my mother and my family.”

 

Spike smiled slightly. “You don’t know.”

 

“Sure I know. Drusilla told me when you came home.”

 

Spike shook his head. “She told you part of it, she didn’t tell you all of it.”

 

Confused, Angel examined Spike for a long moment, he looked sad and sickened all at once and there was a desperation in his eyes that Angel really wished wasn’t there. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

 

“Not really.”

 

“But you’re going to.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Angel didn’t question it he simply sat at the table opposite Spike crossing his arms and waited patiently. He only hoped that listless tone would leave when Spike started to speak again; he had always been a vivacious person vibrating with energy and strange as it was to say about a vampire; life. Angel didn’t like Spike this way.

 

“I bit her, sank my fangs into her and drained the life out of her just as Dru said. But I didn’t take her life then, I gave her a new one.”

 

Angel’s jaw dropped open. “You turned her?” This really was the first he had heard about it and it was as interesting as it was shocking. Spike had never shown an interest in turning anyone in one hundred and twenty six years. Angel and Angelus both had always figured it was because Spike was so devoted to Drusilla, but now he was starting to rethink that.

 

“She was sick, she was old; dying.” Spike paused to light another cigarette. He drew the smoke deep into his lungs holding it there for a moment before releasing it. “I wanted to make her well again, I didn’t want to see her die I wanted to give her that gift of strength an’ life. She was my mother, the only woman… the only person, who gave a damn ‘bout me. She was the only one I was ever good enough for, even now.”

 

“You were good enough for Dru, she didn’t make a habit of turning people,” Angel pointed out. “She saw something special in you and she wanted it for herself, she wanted to keep you.”

 

Spike snorted. “She might have wanted me but not as much as she wanted you. Second best, that’s what I was,” he paused to take a drag of his cigarette. “Second best, passed over, ignored; story of my life.”

 

Scratching his head Angel considered Spike’s words carefully; there was something about them nagging at him but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

 

“The sire bond’s a strong one, Spike you know that. Look at you and Dru. She’s drawn to me, to Angelus just the way you’re drawn to her. It didn’t mean anything to Angelus he only did it to hurt you because he was jealous of the way Dru felt about you.”

 

“Doesn’t really matter,” Spike flicked ash into the saucer.

 

Angel didn’t particularly want to get on to the subject of Drusilla, there was no telling how Spike would end up reacting, he might decide to leave to try and get her back and Angel wanted Spike in Sunnydale until they had solved the problem of Willow’s soul.

 

“So, what happened with your mother?” Angel couldn’t deny he was curious and he wanted Spike’s mind off Drusilla as soon as possible.

 

“Told you, I destroyed her.” Taking another drag of the cigarette Spike stared into the past. “All you ever wanted was to be back inside.” His voice was low and distant. “You wanted your hands on me. Perhaps you'd like a chance to finish off what you started.” Rough and hoarse he almost cracked, but he continued anyway. “Who's my dark little prince?”

 

Angel wasn’t sure what to say so he kept silent. He understood why Drusilla had omitted to tell Darla and Angelus this story, she might be as barmy as they came and Spike may have spent the better part of his existence looking after her and protecting her, but Drusilla did her part too and protected Spike from the emotional cruelty of Angelus.

 

“She tried to kill me. I ended up killin’ her.”

 

“Come on, Spike, you know that it wasn’t her. It was the demon talking, you’ve said and done worse in your time.”

 

“It’s not about that exactly.” Spike sighed and flicked more ash into the saucer. “I destroyed her. I loved her, I destroyed her and I killed her. Don’t quite feel guilty ‘bout it though. Guess havin’ her try to shag me knocked any guilt outta me.” He waved a hand towards the silent radio. “Those kids, it brought it all back. I know what its like to lose a mother is all.”

 

Angel nodded understanding crossing his face. “Empathy.”

 

Willow’s soul strikes again he thought.

 

“Suppose.”

 

Angel knew what it was like to kill his own mother but it wasn’t quite the same as losing her. He knew it had been just sweet William and his mother for years and Angel understood that what had transpired between them during the last exchange was not about William killing his mother, it wasn’t about her death, it was about the demon taking over her body. With that one act of love and devotion William had lost his mother, the memory of her always tainted by the demon.

 

The conversation was interrupted when a knock came at the door. Angel got up to answer it leaving Spike to brood at the saucer. He was surprised to find Willow on the other side of the door.

 

“Willow, hi.”

 

“Hi, Angel, is Spike here?”

 

“Yeah,” Angel stood aside for her. “He’s in here.”

 

Willow followed him into the kitchen, Angel took great pains to stand just inside the doorway where he could see both Willow and Spike at the same time, he hadn’t had the opportunity to watch them in close quarters since the splitting of her soul.

 

It was immediately obvious to Willow that something had upset Spike. His eyes were downcast, the cigarette he held between his fingers gathering ash, forgotten about and his mouth dipped down in the corners. It was different than his drunken ranting and shouting, whatever this was ran deeper inside him and Willow made a small sound of distress at seeing him like that.

 

Spike glanced up when he caught her scent. She hurried across the room to stand beside him her hand resting on his arm her eyes full of concern. “Spike?”

 

“’ello pet.” He patted her hand.

 

“Are you alright?”

 

Spike smiled, it amazed Angel how different he looked, the clouds were gone from his eyes, his jaw relaxed and the tightness left his shoulders; he was transformed by Willow’s mere presence.

 

“Just fine, love. What’ve you been up to all day?”

 

She didn’t answer right away, instead she studied him carefully for a few moments as if to satisfy herself that he was indeed okay. She shrugged off her jacket and Spike stiffened, his eyes flashing yellow for an instant. Willow was wearing one of her new outfits, tight fitting jeans and a red halter top that left her shoulders and her back beautifully bare.

 

Angel started at the yellow eyes and took an automatic step forward, but they vanished as quickly as they appeared.

 

“I went shopping with Faith and then I had a clear out of all my old clothes. Which reminds me, do you think that perhaps you could take me to the clothes bank so I can drop them all off? I don’t drive and you have a car and everything.”

 

He reached for the stray lock of hair that rested on her shoulder. She wore her hair back in a ponytail today which pleased Spike, it left all that soft skin uncovered. “I’ll take you.”

 

“Thanks, Spike.” She sat down beside him her hand still on his arm. “Have you been up long? I wasn’t sure what time to come round.”

 

“Not that long.” Spike stubbed out the cigarette and laced his fingers through hers. “You feelin’ better today, pet?”

 

“Yes, much better. Yesterday was awful, Spike!”

 

His lips twitched into a smile. “I don’t doubt it, love.” He didn’t want to ask, he didn’t really want to know, but something inside him, the deeply disturbed sadistic part of him forced him to anyway. “How was your night with the _wolf_?” It came out as a growl no matter how much he tried to control it.

 

“Fine. We watched Pretty Woman then The Godfather, but I fell asleep half way through that.”

 

“That all?”

 

She looked confused. “We were watching videos, how many do you think we can watch in one night? Sometimes Buffy and I watch more than that but that’s only when we have a sleep over and we stay up most of the night talking.”

 

Angel had been watching Spike closely and he saw it, the tension easing out of Spike when it became apparent that Oz did not stay the night at Willow’s house. Was Spike jealous of Oz? The thought was both ridiculous and disturbing to him.

 

“It’s hot out and I walked all the way here, do you think I could have a glass of water?” Willow looked expectantly at Angel.

 

“Yes, of course. Sorry, I didn’t…”

 

“Peaches doesn’t ‘ave company too often, you’ll ‘ave to forgive his bad manners, love.”

 

Angel glared at Spike and took a glass out of the cupboard to pour Willow a drink. “I only have tap water.”

 

“Tap waters fine, thank you, Angel.” She took the offered glass and gulped down the cool liquid.

 

Spike watched her throat work with a small frown and turned displeased eyes on Angel. “You’ve got no clue how to look after a human, do ya, in spite of claimin’ to be in love with one.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“Leavin’ her sittin’ ‘ere all thirsty like. It’s customary to ask a guest if you can get ‘em somethin’,” Spike snorted, “Don’t suppose a farm hand like you knows the finer points of polite society.”

 

“I’m not really a guest,” Willow said licking her lips and putting the glass on the table. “I just sort of turned up.”

 

“Makes no difference, manners are manners,” Spike glared at Angel.

 

Angel was astounded. He could scarcely believe that he was being lectured by Spike about his behaviour, and it wasn’t just Spike having a dig or being his usual argumentative self. Angel got the feeling that this was actually quite important to Spike although he couldn’t see why.

 

“You want another one, love?”

 

Willow shook her head. “No thanks, I’m fine now.”

 

“You sure? Don’t want you gettin’ dehydrated an’ flakin’ out on me.”

 

“I’ve never fainted in my life,” Willow said with a proud tilt of her head. “And I’ve had plenty of cause considering the things I’ve seen with Buffy.”

 

“That’s my girl.”

 

Completely stunned Angel just stood there watching them. A pleased little smile curled Willow’s lips, her cheeks pinked with pleasure at the compliment. Spike was looking at her calm and steady, his blue eyes soft. Angel had seen Spike like this before, it was the way he looked at Drusilla, waiting, watching, anticipating her every need. Spike liked to be needed, craved it even, and it was obvious to Angel that Spike had now taken it upon himself to be… what exactly? Willow’s friend? Her protector? He wasn’t quite sure, what Spike had in mind but Angel felt that Spike very definitely had something in mind.

 

Willow looked up at him taking Angel off guard. “Where you ….” She stopped and dropped her eyes back to her glass.

 

“Was I what?” Angel prompted.

 

She shook her head her ponytail swinging against her neck. “Nothing, it doesn’t matter.”

 

“What is it?” Spike asked. “Go on, pet ask your question.”

 

“Its not my business.”

 

Spike shrugged. “Doesn’t matter, ask it anyway.”

 

Willow smiled slightly. “No, really. It doesn’t matter.”

 

His one hand was resting on the table close to hers, which were wrapped around the empty glass. Spike reached out with his little finger, straining towards her until the tip touched the back of her hand. “If you don’t wanna ask him you can ask me.”

 

She looked up at him her bottom lip caught between her teeth. “Was he really….a, um…”

 

A grin split his face and Spike nodded taking a deep pull on his cigarette. “Sorta. His father owned a farm, can’t say that Angel did much work on it to hear Darla tell it anyway.”

 

He didn’t speak, instead Angel continued to observe them. They were so easy together and it unnerved him. Spike was more comfortable with Willow in a matter of days than he was with Buffy after three years. He wanted to say it was because Spike had part of Willow’s soul in him, but there was an honest part of Angel that refused to allow him to indulge in that idea. It was quite simply that Spike was more sociable than he was and Willow was easy to talk to.

 

Willow had never asked about his human past before. Angel didn’t think it was because she wasn’t interested or didn’t care, Willow was naturally curious about everything, but he figured that she genuinely felt it wasn’t her business so she hadn’t asked. Perhaps she would have asked Spike if she had been alone with him, who knew what they talked about when they were together; but Angel still felt sure that she wouldn’t have asked him. And she hadn’t, not really, she had asked Spike.

 

Angel considered carefully, it wasn’t just Spike’s snarky comment that had her asking the question, there had been a time when Willow wouldn’t have asked in spite of Spike and his running commentary. It was Spike, Angel realised, Spike brought something out in her, Willow was more confident with Spike in the room.

 

“Oh, here,” Willow stood up and dug a piece of paper out of her back pocket. “I brought this for you to look at.”

 

Spike scanned the paper in silence. “Looks interestin’ love.”

 

“What do you think?” she leant closer to him an eager expression on her face.

 

“I think,” Spike said slowly as he read the paper again. “I think that you probably don’t realise what you’ve got ‘ere.”

 

Willow couldn’t help feeling surprised; it was only the spell Amy had given her, all it did was hand in imaginary homework. She had been busying memorising it that afternoon, and she wanted Spike’s opinion before she tried her hand at it. If he didn’t feel she could do it then she wouldn’t try it but if he did think she could manage it she wanted him to be there when she tried it out for the first time. Willow had found that she was surer of herself and her magic when Spike was there. She felt more focused, more in control.

 

It was obvious to Angel that Spike was not going to share the contents of the paper with him and not wanting to look as though he were prying he excused himself and went upstairs to change.

 

“Thought he’d never leave,” Spike muttered.

 

Willow smiled and bounced a little in her seat. “It’s the spell I told you about, the one my friend Amy can do, you know, about the homework.”

 

Spike tapped the folded piece of papers against the table. “That what you think this is? A spell about homework?”

 

“Well, what else can it be? That’s what Amy uses it for.”

 

“It’s a mite more complex than that, love. This,” he waved the paper at her. “Is a memory spell; plenty of ‘em around, all different in their degrees of strength and whatnot. This one’s pretty strong but you can work it.”  

 

“A memory spell,” she echoed quietly. “You mean altering someone’s memory?”

 

Spike nodded watching her closely, messing about with people’s minds might be going too far too soon for her.

 

“I didn’t think of it that way when Xander told me about it, the spell I mean.” Willow pursed her lips, floating a pencil had turned into levitation, a simple homework spell had turned out to be a memory spell, she was supposed to be the smart one and yet she hadn’t seen her magic for what it was before Spike came along.

 

“I told you, its ‘cause you’re tryin’ to do everythin’ by yourself. If you ‘ad someone to talk to ‘bout the magic you’d understand it more.”

 

“I have you.”

 

Her response was immediate and the honest simplicity of it touched something in him and caused Spike’s chest to swell with pleasure. “Course you do, love. ‘M not goin’ anywhere.”

 

She smiled and then gave a little sigh her eyes resting on the folded newspaper. “Have you read it?”

 

“No, heard about it on the radio though.”

 

“I hoped we could try out more spells tonight but I have to go to the library, Giles wants me to check out the police files and stuff. I looked lunchtime but there might be more information on there now. Buffy and Faith are going to go to the morgue to see if any of the women rise, Cordelia had the idea that someone might be building an army of vampires.”

 

“No need to go to the library, pet. No rising, no army.”

 

She blinked, baffled. “How do you know?”

 

“It was me.” Spike wasn’t exactly sure why he told her; to keep her there with him maybe, to keep her away from the library and the wolf. Perhaps he wanted to see what her reaction would be, maybe he needed to see the anger on her face, the hate and disgust in her eyes; he was emotionally self-flagellating enough to do it to himself. Possibly he just wanted to get rid of her now, watch her walk away like every other woman in his life before he got too attached to her.

 

Willow paled but instead of withdrawing from him her hand touched his as she stared at him with bewildered unblinking eyes. “Why?”

 

“Got mad.”

 

Before Willow had a chance to question this Angel stormed back into the kitchen. They had both been so engrossed in each other that neither Spike nor Willow had realised he had come back.

 

“God damn it, Spike!” Angel was across the room in three strides his hand reaching for Spike’s throat.

 

Spike was on his feet in an instant. He batted Angel’s hand away sliding around the table with a warning growl.

 

Angel could see it, he could see it as clearly as if he had been inside Spike’s head the entire time. Spike’s jealousy was like his love; a truly devastating emotion and when Spike felt it, it consumed him whole. Jealous of Oz, believing himself to be _second best, passed over, ignored_ Spike had wanted someone else to hurt the way he was but he still hadn’t wanted it to be Willow just the way he had never wanted to hurt Drusilla in spite of what she did to him. So, Spike had acted out his revenge with women he could pretend were Willow for a brief moment to alleviate his pain.

 

He blamed himself, he should never have allowed Spike to roam free in the first place, he should have known Spike couldn’t be trusted. Angel lunged for Spike his only thought now to get hold of him, subdue him and lock him in the basement where he couldn’t hurt anyone else.

 

Spike hopped backwards and collided with the chair Angel had previously vacated and not pushed back beneath the table. He lost his footing twisting round to steady himself against the table. Angel grasped the back of Spike’s head slamming him face first into the table.

 

Willow gave a startled cry and scrambled out of her chair her hand going to her heart.

 

Spike gave a furious yell his arm coming back to elbow Angel in the ribs. Angel grunted a sharp pain singing through his ribs with the force of the blow, it was enough to slacken his hold on Spike and allow the other vampire to twist free so they were face to face.

 

Spike didn’t waste any time, his fist collided with Angel’s nose jerking his head back and Angel’s fist caught Spike’s jaw with a sickening crack.

 

Horrified Willow stood with her back pressed against the kitchen counter watching the two enraged vampires trade blows. Their human faces melted away as their anger increased and ridges, fangs and yellow eyes emerged.

 

The rage that fuelled them was a palpable thing as they focused solely on each other, on handing out the maximum amount of pain possible and gaining the upper hand. Spike knew he had to get out of the house before Angel slapped him in chains and Angel knew he had to keep Spike from escaping and causing more bloodshed.

 

The fight was vicious and brutal, blood smeared the floor and there were broken dishes and chair legs scattered about the room but they were pretty evenly matched until Spike sensed it; Willow’s fear.

 

Shoving Angel away Spike turned to her looking to… soothe, comfort, protect, he wasn’t sure, all Spike knew was that he wanted to give her what she needed it.

 

Angel lunged, caught Spike round the neck and sent them both to the floor. “I’m going to put you out of harm’s way, boy.”

 

“Sod off, Peaches!” Spike bucked but couldn’t dislodge him. “Gonna run an’ tell the Slayer on me?”

 

“No!” Dropping to her knees beside them Willow grasped Angel’s shoulder. As soon as he looked at her Willow caught his eyes and held his gaze as she began to chant. Angel’s eyes slid out of focus and Willow felt herself inside his head, it was a strange sensation; like moving through tar.

 

It was easy to find the memory she wanted it was right there for the taking and she latched on to it with little tendrils of magic. It was the oddest thing, seeing herself and Spike through Angel’s eyes, the memory had a fuzzy quality to it the edges soft and blurred, she and Spike looked almost cosy.

 

Willow touched the memory lightly, her magic surrounding it, manipulating it with little red threads that flashed in and out and around the memory like a sharp needles and wove a new memory like a tapestry.

 

Spike watched avidly, from his hand on Willow’s leg he felt her magic crackle along his skin just this side sharper than a tickle which wasn’t unpleasant. Her soul stirred inside him and Spike automatically rubbed soothingly at his chest.

 

When she was done Willow sat back a sheen of perspiration on her forehead.

 

Angel blinked slowly and came back to himself.

 

“Just watch how you talk about Buffy, Spike.”

 

Spike stared at Angel over his shoulder. “Whatever you say.”

 

Angel got to his feet and frowned down at his blood- stained shirt. He muttered something about going to change and wandered out of the kitchen.

 

“You wanna clue a bloke in, pet?” Spike sat back on his knees.

 

She spoke quietly, her voice as low as she could make it. Willow didn’t want to run the risk of Angel overhearing her. “I used Amy’s spell to alter his memory. He thinks you were fighting because you insulted Buffy. I had to,” her voice was strained. “If he told Buffy or Giles the truth they’d try to kill you or lock you up or something. I couldn’t let anything happen to you, Spike.”

 

His eyes burnt a heated path over her body as he stroked her cheek with gentle knuckles, lips curling into a smirk. “Couldn’t you now?”

 

Blushing, Willow averted her eyes from his face. The rich timbre of his voice gave her the disconcerting feeling that her bones were dissolving from the heat that suffused her.

 

Willow scrambled for something to say but the only one thought came to her mind; was Spike going to kiss her?

 

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

 

A loud thump from upstairs caused Willow to jump breaking her connection with Spike. A furious pink blush coloured her cheeks and her palms were sweaty.

Spike frowned up at the ceiling cocking his head to the side to better gage Angel’s movements. There was a scuttling sort of sound, as though Angel were crawling across the floor.

“It wasn’t me!” Angel cried out piteously.

Spike’s frowned deepened and Willow’s head fell back to follow his gaze to the ceiling.

“What’s he saying?”

Spike got to his feet offering Willow his hand to help her up. “I think his ghostly friends are back.”

“We should help him, shouldn’t we?”

“Guess we should go an’ see what he’s makin’ a fuss about this time,’ Spike agreed giving her a small tug after him. He led the way upstairs his fingers still twined with hers. He kept her behind him just in case Angel had really flipped his lid this time.

They found Angel in his bedroom cowering on his hands and knees whimpering and shaking his head. “A demon isn’t a man,’ he said, his voice hoarse and strained.

Spike shot a glance at Willow, did she think the same thing? Did she look at him and see a demon and only a demon? Of course Spike made no bones about the fact that he was a demon and proud of it. He enjoyed his darkness, revelled in it, indulged in it, but there was more to him than that.

Willow didn’t notice Spike watching her, she was transfixed by Angel. He was a wreck. It was disconcerting. Angel was always so strong, so sure, so competent. To see him cringing and trembling on the floor was frightening.

Jenny Calendar smiled softly at Angel. She squatted down beside him making a soothing sound in the back of her throat. “There, there, Angel. I don’t want to hurt you. That’s not why I’m here. But you must understand, you must see the truth; cruelty is the one and only thing you have a real talent for.”

“No,” Angel shook his head again and squeezed his eyes tightly shut. “That’s not true. It can’t be true. It can’t!”

“Now don’t misunderstand me, Angel,” Jenny smiled again. “It’s not a curse. It’s merely your destiny.”

“I don’t want that kind of destiny.”

“That’s just the pain talking,” Jenny said soothingly. “You’re full of it, aren’t you? Full of pain and guilt and misery. I can make it go away, Angel. I can help you. Take what you want, Angel, pour all that guilt and pain into her. Take her and be free.”

“No!” Angel clamped his hands over his ears and shook his head again; there was nothing she could say, there was nothing anyone could say that would induce him to hurt Buffy again. Never would he be the cause of her pain and distress again.

Willow tugged at Spike’s arm an expectant look on her face. Just what she was expecting him to do she wasn’t sure, but surely he should do something.

“Oi, Peaches, you wanna join the rest of us back in the land of the livin’?” Spike didn’t release his hold on Willow’s hand, Angel looked crazed enough to do anything including attack her and he wasn’t going to let that happen.

Panting, Angel looked up at Spike, but he didn’t really see him, his eyes were large, dark pools of fear blotting out anything else other than what Jenny Calendar wanted him to see. He was in Buffy’s room, in Buffy’s bed with Buffy in his arms. Her hands were on his skin, her mouth against his, her passion as strong and loving has his own. She was warm and soft against him, her legs clasped around his waist her hips moving with him as his back flexed beneath her splayed fingers.

Angel’s lips touched to her neck and Buffy moaned, her fingers sliding into his hair. As small as she was compared to him Angel could still feel the raw strength of her beneath the silk of her skin, her muscles strong and powerful. Even with all that strength she was in that moment merely a young girl in bed with the man she loved, sharing her body with him, making love with him so sweetly and tenderly.

She wasn’t the Slayer, she was Buffy and she gave herself over to him her love blinding her to the truth of what he was. It was that love and trust he would use against her now.

Angel saw his face change, as the demon rose to the surface and bit down hard on Buffy’s throat.

He gave an agonised cry and jerked out of the nightmare. “No. No. No. I won’t let it happen. I won’t.” Scrambling to his feet Angel lurched forward, stumbled a few paces and then flew from the room his feet pounding on the stairs. “I’d rather die than hurt her.”

The door slammed loudly in Angel’s wake.

“It’s gettin’ worse,” Spike said quietly.

Willow shivered looking around the room, but she could see nothing out of the ordinary. “I’ll call Giles and let him know what’s happened. Buffy’s going to have to go and find him.”

They went back to the kitchen, Spike smiled when she picked up the phone and dialled the Watcher without releasing his hand for a second. He leant against the wall beside her and drew her close to enable him to pick up the Watcher’s side of the conversation as well.

“Hello?” Giles answered on the fifth ring.

“It’s Willow. Giles, Angel’s having a break down, I’m sure of it,” she said gripping the phone tightly.

“What do you mean? How do you know?”

“I’m at his place now, I just saw it for myself. You know what Spike was telling us before about Angel talking to ghosts, Giles, its really starting to affect him, you should have seen him. We need to do something and quickly.”

Giles rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand letting out a long sigh. “Yes, I know its serious, Willow. I think I’ve managed to pin point the cause of his um, shall we say difficulties.”

“You have?” Willow’s shoulders sagged. “That’s good. He needs help, Giles he really does. I know we’ve been through a lot with him as Angelus, but we’ve been through a lot with him as Angel too. He’s done so much good and helped us with no questions asked. We have to help him through this.”

Giles smiled into the phone, his relief at hearing those words from Willow was so acute he could almost taste it. This was their Willow, the girl with the big heart and tender nature who wanted to help anyone who needed it whether they deserved it or not.

Even though he knew Angel and Angelus were two separate beings, hell, he knew that more than anyone considering the things he and his friends had indulged in during their youth, it was still difficult for him to overlook the reign of terror and death Angelus had subjected them too. It was hypocritical and Giles knew it and it bothered him. He liked to think he was open and fair-minded and knowing that he was being a hypocrite didn’t sit well with him at all. Giles didn’t want to be that person.

“You’re right, Willow. Of course you are. I’ll send Faith to deal with Angel and Buffy can go to the morgue.”

“The morgue?”

“We still have those women to be concerned about, Willow.”

“Oh, um there’s no need to worry about that,” Willow spoke slowly.

“Do you have some information we’re unaware of?” Giles asked blinking in surprise.

Willow nodded and then remembered that Giles couldn’t see her. “Yes, I…. um, it was a vampire.”

“Yes,” Giles said. “That was something we had previously agreed on, wasn’t it?”

Willow winced, she had never been a very good liar. At least she wasn’t face to face with Giles, she’d never convince him she was telling the truth if she was. “What I mean is, well, the women won’t be a problem. They weren’t turned or anything.”

“How do you know?”

“Spike told me.” That at least was the truth. “He knew the vampire who did it. He won’t be a problem from now on.” And Giles could make of that what he wanted to.

Giles was silent for a few astounded seconds. “Spike… you mean Spike… dealt with the problem?”

“Yes.” Willow decided it wasn’t technically a lie

“Oh, well, that’s one less thing to worry about. Quite, um, quite decent of him to lend a hand really.”

Spike made a face, he could only image what the Watcher would say if he knew the truth. Eyes narrowing slightly he studied Willow’s face wondering why she had chosen to lie and mess around in Angel’s mind just for him. A little zing made its way up his spine.

“So just Angel to worry about,” Willow pressed.

Spike let out a breath and closed his eyes. “We’re losing him.”

Willow stared at him horrified. “We can’t,” she shook her head for emphasis. “We can’t lose him, Spike. Buffy can’t lose Angel, not again. Giles, we have to do something. We have to find something, like now.”

“I’ll go back to the books,” Giles said. “Xander’s here too and Buffy is on her way. We’ll put our heads together, we’ll find something.”

“I’m on my way,” Willow promised. “See you soon, Giles.” She hung up with a small sigh. “I’d better get to the library. We’re going to need all hands on deck if we’re going to help Angel. Are you coming?”

“Not gonna let a tasty treat like you wander about Sunnyhell at night all by yourself,” he grinned wickedly at her, thrilled when she blushed to the roots of her hair; he’d found a treasure and no mistake.

She turned away embarrassed and gestured towards the door. “Shall we go?”

The night was cooler than the day had been and Willow was grateful for the light breeze against her hot face. What was it about Spike? He made her tummy squirm, he made her hot all over, he made new and frightening sensations flare up between her legs; no matter how much she tried to ignore it.

He walked quietly beside her small indents rippling along his forehead. He looked edgy, his handsome face pulled tight and his shoulders thick with tension.

“Spike? Are you alright?”

Spike shrugged. “Just thinkin’ is all pet.”

“About Angel?” She forced a smile to her face and a cheerfulness she didn’t feel into her voice. “He’ll be fine, you’ll see. You heard Giles, he thinks he knows what’s happening to Angel, we’ve nearly solved the problem.”

He nodded once but didn’t respond. If anyone had asked prior to this Spike would have said he wouldn’t have given a bugger if Angel, or Angelus for that matter, unlived or died. But the sad truth to the matter was that he did care. Spike had to admit that he hadn’t given it much thought last year when he had served Angelus up to the Slayer and fled Sunnydale with Dru. She was all he thought about, the only thing he wanted was to keep her safe, make it the way it used to be; just him and Dru again.

It had been decades since he had last seen Angelus and Spike had been quite happy to see him and have him back in the fold. Truth be told Spike had missed him. There was no –one like Angelus to share the slaughter of innocents with. They didn’t always get along, Angelus could be downright cruel to him sometimes using Dru to torture him emotionally and crack his heart into pieces; but he was still, for all intents and purposes, Spike’s Sire, his Yoda, the one who had taught him how to enjoy his new unlife to the fullest.

Angel was no Angelus and Spike never for a moment confused the two of them, but Angel was the closest thing he had to Angelus and even though he was loathe to admit it, even to himself, Spike didn’t really want to lose him for a third time.

The Slayer had, he was ashamed to admit, thwarted all of his plans last year one way or another and put him in a sodding wheelchair. Surely to God this same Slayer and her little friends could find a way to help Angel before he went completely off his head and slipped further into the realms of lunacy than Dru on her worst day.

“Everything really will be alright,” Willow insisted. “I promise. We’ll find a way to stop the ghosts and Angel will be right as rain.”

“I hope so, love.” Spike reached out and caught her hand, she seemed to understand that he needed the comfort for she squeezed his fingers gently.

When they finally arrived at the library Buffy was already there pacing back and forth a small ball of agitation. She glanced at them when they came through the door but she didn’t take them in, didn’t notice their joined fingers, she saw only that they were there, that Willow was there and the sight of her best friend did have a slight calming effect on her nerves. With both Willow and Giles on the case Buffy felt more confident.

“Hey, Wills. Spike,” Xander gave them a spare look over the top of a book and groped across the table for a slice of pizza.

“I’m glad you’re here.” Buffy went to Willow and hugged her tightly. She felt safe when Willow hugged her back. It was not the same as when Angel hugged her, she didn’t feel that Willow’s arms could protect her physically, but the tightness in Buffy’s chest eased and the pain in her heart became less intense. Willow knew how she loved Angel, Willow knew that Angel was her whole world and Willow would know what to do to keep her heart safe, Buffy was sure of it.

“Everything’s going to be fine.” Patting Buffy’s shoulder Willow turned to Giles. “Where are we? Any closer?”

“I found this,” Giles came around the counter and picked up some worn looking papers off the desk. He had deliberately kept them from Buffy until Willow was present. Where Angel was concerned Giles felt it was better for Willow to be the voice of reason instead of him. She and Buffy were close, he understood that young girls talked about everything and that being the case he figured Willow would be better equipped to handle boy problems than he was. No matter how he might view the situation Buffy would always look at Angel and see her first love and that fell into best friend territory rather than Watcher territory. It made him uncomfortable and Giles didn’t mind admitting it.

Willow came to stand beside him and scan the papers.

“What?” Buffy bounced on her toes at Willow’s shoulder. “What is it?”

“These letters contain references to an ancient power known as The First,” Giles said.

“The First?” Willow and Buffy spoke as one and grinned at each other.

“First what?” Spike sat on the edge of the large table.

“The First Evil,” Giles said.

Xander’s eyebrows lifted. “Why does that make me think that fun times are not ahead?”

Giles sighed. “I’m talking about the First Evil, as in absolute evil, something that is older than man and demon alike. It could have had the power to bring Angel back.”

“You didn’t tell me this before,” Buffy accused.

“It’s not definite,” Giles replied. “I’m still looking. This in itself doesn’t really help us, Buffy.”

“I’ve been through book after book and I don’t remember reading anything about the First Evil,” Xander said giving the book in his hand a heated glare.

“Neither do I,” Willow shrugged off her jacket. “Lets get to work.”

Xander, who had just taken a mouth full of soda spluttered and coughed his eyes widening in surprise. “That’s um, that’s a lot of Willow,” he said eyeing her bare shoulders and back.

Spike’s eyes narrowed.

“I like it,” Buffy touched the red top with her fingertips. “The colour suits you. Is it new?”

“Just bought it today,” Willow said going round the counter and firing up the computer. “You can borrow it if you like.”

Buffy smiled and picked up a book moving to sit behind the counter with her friend. “Thanks, I’ll take you up on it.”

Scooping up a book Spike hoisted himself on to the counter next to Willow. Resting his foot on the counter and the book against his bent knee he settled down to research with Willow’s scent in his nose.

Silence descended over the library broken every now and again by the movement of Buffy, Spike, Xander or Giles as they exchanged their books. Spike kept glancing up at the clock, he had the unsettling feeling that time was of the essence and Angel was slipping from them.

Presently Giles cleared his throat and started to read aloud. “They're known as the Bringers or Harbingers. They're high priests of The First. They, uh, they can conjure spirit manifestations and set them on people, influence them, haunt them.”

“The guys with no eyes?” Xander asked

Giles nodded. “It appears they work for the First.”

“Bringers or Harbingers,” Willow murmured her fingers flying over the keyboard.

“Okay,” Buffy stood up her body tense. “So where do I find them and this First? Its time for some slayage.”

“You can’t slay the First, Buffy, it non corporeal,” Willow said.

Buffy wasn’t put off and Spike was forced to admire her determination not to be defeated. “But I can pummel the high priests, can’t I?”

“Yeah,” Willow nodded. “You can pummel them.”

Xander got to his feet and swung his arms around. “Alrighty then, lets get to the pummelling. Where do we find them?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know.” Giles flipped the pages of the book. “There’s nothing in here about where they’re likely to be found.”

“They are the Harbingers of death. Nothing shall grow above or below them,” Willow read aloud off the screen.

“Why is everything the non- helping kind of information?” Xander complained. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Lips pouted in thought Buffy considered the words carefully, there was something needling the back of her mind but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. Suddenly she shot to her feet. “I know, I know where they are.” She scurried around the counter and took up an axe from the book cage. “The dead Christmas trees.”

“The what?” Xander looked to Willow for an explanation but she looked as confused as he felt.

“The dead Christmas trees. I’ll explain later,” Buffy said. “I have to go.”

“You can’t go alone,” Xander exclaimed.

“I have to,” Buffy hefted the axe. “I can’t risk you guys getting hurt if Angel’s there and these priest guys are controlling him or something.”

“That does make sense,” Giles began, “But I think…”

Buffy didn’t wait to hear what Giles was thinking, she ran from the library she had a purpose and a focus and she had to help the man she loved.

Spike jumped off the counter tossing the book to the side. “She’s not going to find him. He’s not with the priests.”

Willow frowned. “How do you know?”

“I know.”

Angel’s last words echoed in his head. _I’d rather die than hurt her. I’d rather die than hurt her. I’d rather die than hurt her._

Spike knew, in his heart he knew that this First Evil was trying to use Angel to kill the Slayer. Personally he didn’t care if Buffy lived or died, but Angel did. Angel loved her and he knew that Angel would indeed rather die than do anything to hurt his beloved Buffy.

“Spike?” Willow reached across the counter and touched his shoulder. “What should we do?”

“I think I know where he’ll be. Leave it to me.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Probably kick his sorry arse,” Spike said sweeping from the library.

Once he left the room Spike started to run, it was an advantage of being a demon, he could move faster than a human and as he didn’t need to breathe he could run longer without any hassle. The streets of Sunnydale were deserted the pounding of Spike’s feet echoing in the stillness. A dog barked as he vaulted a fence in someone’s back garden.

It was one of those moments when he didn’t stop moving and yet Crawford Street just seemed further away than ever. Eventually Spike reached the mansion the scent of sunrise in the air.

“Angel!” he paused in the hallway and listened with his ears and his senses, reaching out to determine if he was alone or if Angel was there. “Angel!”

Spike shook his head, of course Angel wasn’t in the house. If he was going to die Angel was going to do it while taking one last look at the world. He was going to meet the sunrise and where better to do it than overlooking the last place the demon had reigned supreme.

“Bloody drama queen!”

Leaving by the backdoor Spike made his way up the steps in the garden and took off up the hills behind the mansion. He found Angel standing at the top of the hill looking down at the quiet sleepy town dotted with the soft glow of the streetlights.

“Why do you always ‘ave to make a big song an’ dance ‘bout everythin’?”

“Go away, Spike.”

“Why, so you can die in peace?”

“That would be nice.”

“Too bad. You ain’t dyin’ today, Peaches now come inside like a good little boy.”

Angel shot him a glare over his shoulder. “What’re you doing here?”

“Not totally sure to be honest. The Slayer’s busy with those blind blokes you were dreamin’ ‘bout. Work for the First Evil apparently. Sorry to ‘ave to tell you that,” he said dryly, “I know you like to think that you’re the most evil thing to walk the earth, that no other demon can come close to the depravity you inflicted on the world, but, looks like you were wrong.”

Angel scowled. “Taking the piss doesn’t change the facts, Spike.”

“Oh for Christ’s sake, wake up, Angel!” Spike threw his arms in the air with frustration. “Didn’t we already ‘ave this conversation? You were goin’ to make amends for your evil deeds, remember? How you plannin’ on doin’ that when you’re a big pile of dust?”

“I can’t be a killer again, Spike. You can laugh all you like, but I can’t do it again.”

“So don’t do it again.”

“Its not that easy.”

Spike snorted. “I told you before, what you want ain’t gonna come easy to ya.” He patted down his pockets looking for his cigarettes one eye on the lightening skyline.

“It wants me to kill Buffy and I wanted to do it.”

“But you didn’t. That’s call fightin’ Angel.”

“I’m tired of it, Spike. It’s too hard.”

“You just gonna quit then, that it? You’re gonna stand ‘ere an’ burn for your sins? Got that Angelus style of religious imagery to it that,” he said scathingly. “Well, don’t expect me to stand around ‘ere watchin’ you burst into flames. Got no desire to join you, mate,” he muttered turning away from Angel.

“I’m weak, I’m not worth saving.”

“Got that right. Bleedin’ ponce is what you are,” Spike didn’t look back. “Stay here an’ burn, take the easy way out.”

“What?” Pivoting on the balls of his feet Angel watched Spike’s retreating back.

“Death’s easy, Angel. Well, unless you end up in a hell dimension again with no way of gettin’ back. It’s livin’ that’s the hard part.”

Angel said nothing, he simply stared at Spike’s back. He had stopped walking but Spike still didn’t turn to face him. Angel had a feeling he should be grateful for small mercies, he probably didn’t really want to see the look of disgust in Spike’s eyes, and it would be there, Spike’s tone told him as much.

“So, you’re just gonna give up, huh? Gonna curl up and die. Pathetic is what is you are, mate,” he snorted again. “What you were born you will die.”

“What does that mean?”

Spike spun round and scowled at him. “You were a pathetic excuse for a man and you died that way. Now you’re a pathetic excuse for a demon and you’ll die that way too. All anyone will remember of the great and wonderful Angel, the vampire with a soul, the savior of the people, blah, blah, blah, is that he met the sun cos he was too weak an’ cowardly to keep livin’. You know,” he said thoughtfully. “I think you were wrong. I think your father would be just as ashamed of you now as he was back then. Can’t see that all this woe is me nonsense was the kinda manly behaviour he expected from his son.”

 

“You leave my father out of this!” Angel’s eyes snapped dangerously.

“You’re a selfish git you know that? What about Willow, huh? This is how you thank her for givin’ you back your precious soul? She risked her life to do that spell, you know an’ now your just gonna go an piss all over it.”

“I didn’t….”

Spike didn’t give him a chance to finish, slight his witch would he. Ponce! “That’s a fine thank you, ain’t it? Fine way to treat my girl I must say.”

“She’s not your girl,” Angel’s response was reflexive.

“You keep tellin’ yourself that if it makes you feel better. Not that you’ve got much time left to be worryin’ ‘bout it,” he gave Angel a small salute. “Wish I could say it’s been nice knowin’ you, Peaches.”

Angel watched Spike start to walk away again.

“Nice to ‘ave someone to unlive for,” Spike called back. “Obviously you’re not as in love with the Slayer as you claim to be.”

“I’m doing this for Buffy,” Angel shot back. It was true in a roundabout way, once he was gone there was no danger to the world and no danger to Buffy’s heart either.

“You ain’t got the first clue about love, do ya?” Spike paused long enough to give him an eye roll. “You think turnin’ into a pile of dust is gonna help her, it ain’t. All you’re doin’ is creatin’ a martyr for her to cherish. She’ll spend the rest of her life measurin’ every other man she meets against the yard stick that is the wonderful Angel an’ they’ll all fall short. She’ll build you up in her ‘ead an’ she’ll never be free of you an’ she’ll never be truly ‘appy. That what you wanna do to the girl you claim to love?”

“No,” Angel shook his head vigorously. “But staying, being here, its hurting her and I want to hurt her.”

“You’re a vampire, its in your nature to hurt people, but the soul stops you. That’s what being good is, mate, dancin’ with temptation an’ walkin’ away from it.”

“What if I don’t? What if I give in to temptation?”

“But you didn’t,” Spike reminded him. “If this evil thing that’s hauntin’ you can’t make you kill her what can? Don’t you get it? Your soul is stronger than this First Evil, its tried to control you but it can’t. If it’s tryin’ to kill you, Angel, it means its scared of you, it means that you can hurt it somehow. But you can’t do anythin’ if your bloody dead!”

Angel stared at him for a few moments. “You’re right.”

Spike let out a long put upon sigh. “I know.”

“You don’t think it brought me back?”

“Nah mate, why bring you back from hell just to kill you? You being back, it’s not down to this First thing. If you ask me, it’ll like you gone again. You wanna do that, Angel? You want the First Evil to get what it wants?”

“Hell no!” Angel shook his head.

“Great,” Spike closed his eyes for a moment. “Now can we go inside?”

Angel nodded making his way towards Spike. “I don’t feel it anymore,” he said suddenly. “Sunrise I mean.”

“Me neither.”

They stood there shoulder to shoulder staring up at the sky. It was still dark, not black as pitch but dark, and clear, the stars shining brightly. The hazy strip of pink and mauve that had previously touched the horizon had vanished. Sunrise had gone.

XxX

The door to Angel’s house stood open. Willow crept inside her ears straining to pick up any kind of movement but the place was as silent as the grave. It was quite clear to her Spike wasn’t here. She had no way of knowing for certain if this was where Spike had gone when he had left the library but it stood to reason he would return to the mansion and soon, sunrise wasn’t far off.

The house was in darkness so she switched on a table lamp and sat down in an armchair to wait for Spike’s return. She crossed her fingers that he would find Angel before it was too late.

She wasn’t sitting there long before she heard the door open and footsteps in the hall. “Angel! Angel are you here?”

“He’s not here, Buffy.” Willow went to meet Buffy in the hallway.

Buffy’s blonde hair, once neatly pulled back from her face was now escaping, long loose tendrils stuck to her face and dangled against her neck. Her eyes were fraught, her face tense with fright and worry. “Willow, what are you doing here?”

“Spike went after Angel. He said he didn’t think Angel would be with the priests. Did you find them, by the way?”

“Yeah,” Buffy said, her body shifting with nervous energy. It felt wrong to just stand there and let Spike do all the work while she just waited around.

 

What could Spike possibly say to Angel to help him that she couldn’t? Should she even trust Spike? This was the same Spike who had teamed up with her against Angelus last year and had walked out on Angelus when he had been in the middle of a fight with her. Spike had killed two Slayers in his time, it would have been nothing for him to join up with Angelus and kill her off. But he hadn’t, Spike had abandoned Angelus to his own fate. If Spike could do that to Angelus who was just as evil as he was then what would he do to Angel who was good and decent?

“And?” Willow prompted. “Did you make with the pummeling?”

Buffy nodded. “When I was shopping for a tree with my mom there were a few of them that just died, the sales guy didn’t know why. It was a hunch that the priests would be there, I was right. They aren’t there anymore.”

“Good.”

There was more to tell her, but Buffy couldn’t keep still. She simply couldn’t sit around with Willow when Angel was out there in trouble. With a loud huff she trotted into the kitchen blinking in surprise to see the back door standing open. Had Angel been here? Had Spike?

“Buffy, wait. Let Spike handle it. He said to leave it to him.”

“It’s Angel!” Buffy cried out distraught, tears of frustration burning her eyes. “I can’t not be there for him. I need to see him, I need him to know that he has to live, that I love him and can’t be without him not even for a second!” She grasped her head in her hands for a moment her fingers digging into her scalp. “It’s not Spike he needs, it’s me.”

Since she had met Angel, whenever she found herself in a crisis it was Angel she wanted, it was Angel she looked for. It defied belief to Buffy that in his time of crisis Angel wouldn’t want her too.

Buffy turned suddenly and raced into the back garden.

“Wait a minute, Buff.” Willow scurried after her following her up the back steps. There was something telling her that having Buffy in the mix was going to make things worse and Spike was better left to deal with Angel on his own.

Reaching the top of the steps Willow ran straight into Buffy’s back with a grunt. “Sorry, Buff.”

“Look,” Buffy whispered pointing to the two figures coming down the hill towards them.

Willow let out a breath of relief to see Spike all safe and sound. Pushing passed Buffy she hurried forward to meet him.

“See, my girl,” Spike said smugly and took off at a light jog before Angel could say anything.

The joy at seeing Angel alive and well made her chest ache and Buffy swallowed past the lump in her throat. He was so handsome and strong and breathtaking; her heart nearly burst with love for him. Pulling herself together she smiled when he stopped and simply stared at her as though she were the most wonderful thing he had ever seen. Blinking back tears Buffy went to meet him a little bounce in her step.

“’ello pet,” Spike slowed when he came abreast of Willow. He barely noticed the Slayer scurrying past him.

“Are you alright, Spike?”

“Tip top, love.” He fell into step beside her as they walked back to the house. “Sorted out the old poof, all in a days work it seems these days.”

“You’ve probably been a lot of help to Angel since the First Evil decided to target him. Can you imagine how he would have been if he’d had to deal with it all on his own? Angel… well, he doesn’t seem to like to ask for help.”

Spike snorted. “That’s cos he doesn’t feel he deserves it.”

“Everyone deserves help,” she said firmly. “I know he’s done bad things, but he’s making up for it now.”

Spike merely nodded, scanning the sky again for the telltale signs of dawn; but there was nothing to be seen.

Willow watched him for a moment. “Spike, shouldn’t the sun have started to rise by now?” she glanced at her watch and brought it to her ear to check it was still working.

“It started to, but then,” Spike waved his arm around in a circle. “Something happened and it just…. Stopped.”

“Weird.”

“Yeah. Careful of the steps now, love,” Spike automatically held her elbow to assist her down the back steps.

Willow smiled, she thought it was sweet; not even Oz took as much care over her as Spike did. Still, she had to force herself not to read too much into it. It was only natural that Spike would want to make sure nothing happened to her until they found a way to get her soul out of him. She was pretty sure that Spike wouldn’t want to get stuck with half a soul inside him for the rest of his existence.

“I’ll walk you home, alright love?”

As if he had to ask. She’d be willing to walk all over Sunnydale to spend more time with him. “Yes of course. Thanks, Spike.”

Instead of going through the house Spike led her round the side path and through a gate which brought them into the driveway. Everything around them was still, even the birds appeared to still be asleep. It was unsettling, the absence of day break. Willow worried the sun would suddenly pop up before Spike could get undercover.

Something cold and wet touched her nose and Willow wiped at it with the back of her hand. Another cold, wet spot touched her cheek and Willow frowned wiping at her face.

“Bloody hell.” Spike stopped walking to stare open mouthed at the sky. “You see that, love?”

“Spike, it’s… its snowing.”

The snow came in thick, fast dancing flakes; landing gently on Willow’s upturned face causing her eyelashes to flutter when the smaller flakes caught and clung.

Spike smiled at the pretty picture she made with snow-flecked eyelashes; she looked innocent and dreamy, a world away from the harsh reality she lived in. “Come along pet, don’t want you to catch cold out ‘ere.”

“What’s happening, Spike? Where’d the snow come from?”

“Dunno, love. Don’t look like its gonna stop any time soon either.”

It was beautiful, the snow, by the time they reached her house the streets and gardens were covered in a thick white blanket all fresh and untouched and the snow was still falling. Willow held out her hands to catch the flakes that glittered like jeweled butterflies in her palm before melting away. They landed on her neck and made her shiver and drifted into her hair where they sparkled in the pale light from the street lamps like tiny diamonds.

“You look lovely in the snow.” Willow blushed and Spike pressed the backs of his fingers to her cheek. “Now then, that’s a pretty bit of warmth and colour.” Her blush deepened, sweeping down her throat to touch her chest and Spike palmed her cheek absorbing the heat.

Her heartbeat pounded in his ears and Spike let it wash over him, reveling in it. She had cast her eyes down so he couldn’t read her expression, but Spike knew Willow wasn’t unaffected by him. Her heartbeat could speak louder than words ever could.

Willow’s nerves were stretched tighter than a tambourine. Was he going to kiss her this time? Would he have kissed her earlier if Angel hadn’t have interrupted? She hoped so. Her stomach tied itself up in knots as she waited, almost breathless to see what Spike would do next.

Spike’s thumb stroked the corner of her mouth. “You don’t much like compliments do you, pet?”

Startled she looked up confusion shining in her eyes.

“So it’s just me then?”

“You?”

“You don’t like me sayin’ anythin’ nice to you.” It hurt Spike realised, that she was willing to tolerate him, even be friendly towards him, but she had a line drawn between them that he wasn’t to cross.

“What? No that’s not…. I mean….” It didn’t show on his face but he was hurt, Willow could hear the strain of bitterness in his voice that he couldn’t hide. “…No, Spike, it’s just…” her colour started to deepen and again she averted her eyes from his face. “It’s just, I… I’m not used to it, that’s all.”

Digging out her front door key Willow went to open the door. She glanced up at the sky a frown furrowing her brow. “It might not be safe for you to walk back to Angel’s. What if the sun starts to come up before you get there?”

“I won’t lie, don’t much like that thought, love.”

“Maybe… maybe…” she paused and took a steadying breath. “Maybe you should stay in the spare room. Just to be on the safe side.”

“Guess I could. Guess it wouldn’t hurt.” He followed her up the steps and into the foyer closing the door behind him. He was going to be here in her house, with her, all night, alone together.

Willow turned the light on jumping when she felt his hand at the back of her neck turning her to him slowly, gently, insistently. Wetting her lips she swallowed nervously as she raised her eyes to his.

Fingers spread out against her neck, thumb rubbing along her jaw Spike stared at her long and hard. “You better get used to me, pet. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

 


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

 

 

Spike seemed so close to her all of a sudden. His proximity made her hot and breathless, Willow swallowed thickly. “C…can I get you a drink?” she tried for normality, although there was nothing normal about Spike standing so close to her every fine hair on her body stood up to attention she was so aware of it.

“How ‘bout a mug of hot chocolate?”

“Hot chocolate?” Willow could honestly say that wasn’t the response she had been expecting.

“With little marshmallows.”

She nodded. “I can do that. I can make hot chocolate.”

He followed her into the kitchen taking a seat at the counter while Willow busied herself with making hot chocolate and digging about in the cupboard for the bag of little marshmallows.

It was still snowing; quiet, gentle flakes of lace drifting in the dark sky. Willow gazed out of the kitchen window a smile curling her lips.

“It’s so pretty.”

“That it is, pet,” Spike said, his eyes never leaving her face. “We could see it better from your room, open up your windows, switch off the lights and watch it fall all nice and cosy like.”

Her smiled deepened. “That’s a good idea, Spike.”

Willow finished fixing their drinks, handed him a mug and led the way to her room. The curtains were already open and she didn’t switch on the light, there was enough light to see by anyway, even if sunrise still hadn’t made itself known. Placing her mug on the computer desk Willow pulled the elastic out of her hair, kicked off her shoes and threw her jacket over the back of the chair while Spike pulled out the wicker chair from the corner and opened the windows wide. He settled in the chair with his mug in his hand and Willow pulled a crate from beneath her bed taking a large grey blanket from it and wrapping it around herself before picking up her mug and settling down at his feet.

The night was a crown of stars, the sky a deep midnight blue. There was a slight chill in the air and the snow continued to fall covering Sunnydale in eiderdown softness. She wondered how long it would last, snow was quite the novelty in California and she was enjoying the surprise of it. Would it continue into the day? Would they end up snowed in? A shiver worked its way down her spine at the thought; snowed in with Spike. It was both a delicious and terrifying prospect.

Resting his hand on her head Spike stroked her hair pulling it back from her face, this thumb rubbing slowly along her widow’s peak. She let out a little sigh and rested her head against his leg, she felt so comfortable with Spike, there was no urge to fill the silence with her usual babble and no worries as to what he was thinking. It was nice and Willow relaxed under the soothing motion of his hand.

He wondered what she was thinking, but Spike refused to break the spell they had woven between them by speaking. He was content to sit there in her bedroom drinking hot chocolate and watching the snow with this girl who had turned his life upside down and yet welcomed him into her own.

Presently she finished her drink and set her empty mug down on the carpet, her arm curling under his leg, her free hand resting on his knee as his thigh pillowed her cheek. He had such power, such strength, Willow could feel it beneath her cheek as his muscles shifted to accommodate her weight; and yet she was not afraid of him. Funny how things changed for when she had first learned who he was she had felt nothing but fear; a vampire who was the Slayer of Slayers was someone to fear.

Willow had never thought that she would be comfortable with Spike, she hadn’t known him half as long as she had Angel and yet she was far from comfortable with Angel. There was something about Angel, it wasn’t so much the way he seemed to appear and reappeared at a whim, it was more the way that he just sort of stood there in the shadows, all hulking brooding silence. His silence seemed to press down on her which made her uncomfortable.

She didn’t know Spike well, in fact she hardly knew anything about him at all, expect that he was resourceful, strong, brave and had the ability to love and love deeply if his devotion to Drusilla was anything to go by. There was a little fluttering of jealousy at the thought of Drusilla.

Pushing thoughts of Drusilla from her mind Willow refocused on Spike. Again she wondered at the life he had lived, the things he had seen, the places he had been, and for the first time she wondered what Spike had been like as a human. Was the man he had been so very far apart from the demon he was now? Angel and Angelus were nothing at all alike, was it the same for Spike?

She would ask him, one day, maybe. Willow yawned and wiped at her left eye, it had started to run. It was getting late, the snow was still falling but she was content to stay where she was all snuggly in her blanket with Spike’s fingers trailing through her hair.

He took a long piece of hair between his thumb and forefinger rubbing it gently and brought it to his nose to take in her scent. Letting the piece of hair fall Spike brought her hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear tracing the outer shell of her ear marvelling at how small and delicate she was.

She yawned again and Spike smiled. “Bit tired are we, love?”

“A bit,” she allowed, readjusting her head on his knee.

“Come on, pet, time to go to bed. It’s been a long day.”

Willow sighed and got to her feet, using his knee as leverage. “It’s always a long day on the Hellmouth.”

“All the more reason to ‘ave a little fun when you can.”

“I guess so.” She yawned again giving her head a spare shake to try and clear it. Unwrapping the blanket from around her shoulders Willow folded it up and handed it to Spike. “We should put it over the window in the spare room, just in case. I’ll show you where it is, the spare room I mean.”

“Thanks love,” he smoothed the blanket over his arm and followed her from the room.

“Bathroom,” she said pointing to a room on the left. “You know, if you want to take a shower or something.” She paused at the door just down the hall from hers and opened the door. “You’re in here.”

“Great, thanks, pet.” Spike watched her go back to her room a tendril of longing uncurling in his belly. Closing the bedroom door behind him Spike leant back against it for a few minutes; he couldn’t deny that he would prefer to be in Willow’s bed with her, even if it was just to hold her when she slept.

Letting out a quiet groan Spike put his empty mug on top of the chest of drawers, he only now realised he was still holding it, and then set about closing the curtains and securing the blanket over the curtain rail. He paused for a moment to take in her scent from the soft wool. Next he stripped off throwing his clothes haphazardly on a chair in the corner of the room and got into bed.

Tucking his hands behind his head Spike stared up at the ceiling, he wasn’t tired yet. He didn’t usually go to sleep until well after dawn, then he slept the day away all ready to indulge in wicked intentions at night. His tongue stole out to lick along his bottom lip, there were all sorts of wicked intentions he could indulge in with the girl on the other side of the wall if only she’d let him close to her.

How to achieve it, that was the big question. He would need to put in the work with this girl, she was a good girl, best friends with the Slayer and had no reason whatsoever to trust him; he had spent the better part of the previous year trying to kill her and her friends. The wolf didn’t pose too much of a problem for him, Spike didn’t really view Oz as competition even if he did stir his jealous side into waking, hadn’t Willow already proved she was willing to forego the wolf’s company in favour of his? He just had to find the right way to get her to dump the wolf for good.

Closing his eyes Spike let his mind drift as he imagined the moment Willow fell into his arms. He would take her away from Sunnydale, help her nurture her power and give her a life she could actually live free of the fear of imminent Hellmouth death.

He would give her the world and they would conquer it together.

XxX

Willow slept deeply, the deep sleep of the trouble free mind and contented heart. It had been comforting knowing Spike was in the house, less lonely; but it had also been frightening knowing Spike was sleeping just behind the wall. There was a part of her that wanted to go to him and be with him. It was different to the wanting to kiss Xander feelings. It was different to the feelings she had when she kissed Oz.

She wasn’t sure how to explain it even to herself, all Willow knew was that when she saw Spike, when she was near him, when she thought about him, it was very different.

When she woke she tiptoed around the house going through her morning ritual, she didn’t want to make any unnecessary noise and wake Spike before he was ready to get up. Willow was sitting in the living room eating a bowl of cereal with the TV on low when the knock came at the door.

Oz had a gig at The Bronze tonight so he would spend all day with The Dingo’s rehearsing, therefore she knew it wouldn’t be him. Her money was on Buffy coming round to talk about last night. Willow really hoped that her friends Slayer Spidey Senses wouldn’t go off and alert her to Spike’s presence in the house.

“Oh, Xander. Hi,” Willow stood back to let him in.

“Did you see the snow last night?” Xander went straight to the kitchen to get a can of soda out of the fridge. “There I was sleeping in the back garden and all of a sudden its snowing. It was coming down really thick last night and well into the morning, even shut my parents up for a bit, they stopped arguing and just sat there watching it and then went to bed.” He popped the can and took a long swig. “You wouldn’t know it was snowing at all now though, every last flake has disappeared. Pity, it would have been nice to have a white Christmas in Sunnydale. Weird Hellmouth stuff or what?”

Willow shrugged. “I’m not sure exactly what caused it. Snow doesn’t feel particularly Hellmouthy, but I don’t think it was a natural thing.”

“So, you guys find Angel last night?”

“Yeah, Spike helped out. I think Angel’s going to be alright now.”

He rubbed his hands together. “That’s one less thing to worry about then. We can look forward to Christmas, just forty eight hours to go and counting.”

“Yeah,” Willow smiled, it was always good when they resolved something. Of course another horror rose up to take its place almost immediately, but that never seemed to diminish the sense of accomplishment and peace they experienced from eliminating a threat. “Have you heard from Cordelia? Did she get to Aspen okay?”

“She hasn’t called,” Xander said unconcerned. “Look, Wills, can we talk? I was going to wait until tomorrow when we exchange presents but I’d rather not wait.”

“Of course,” Willow took a seat at the kitchen counter and gestured for Xander to do the same. “What’s up, Xan?”

“Well, what with one thing and another we haven’t had the chance to be alone and talk, have we? You know, about what was going on with us.”

Willow stilled, her eyes widened a fraction. She hadn’t expected Xander to bring this up, it was, so far as she was concerned over and done with, but by the way Xander was looking at her so expectantly she had the feeling that for him it wasn’t over. It was a bit of a revelation.

“We were in the science lab for a reason.”

“A good reason,” Willow said her chin firming up.

“Trying to do the right thing and not hurt Cordelia and Oz, right?”

She nodded. “Right.”

“Trying to do the right thing got us into this mess. If we had just been honest from the start then we wouldn’t have been in the lab where Spike could get to us and you’d still have your whole soul…” Xander let out a long sigh and ran a hand through his hair. “…and we’d be together right now.”

Willow said nothing she simply stared at him. It was finally happening, Xander was saying the words she had often dreamed he would. He was looking at her with a glint in his eyes that went beyond the borders of friendship; it was something she had wanted, yearned for, dreamt of for so long; but there was nothing in her, just emptiness.

“I know I’ve been stupid,” he gave her crooked grin. “Nothing usual about that, is there? I’m always saying and doing the wrong thing. I didn’t know how you felt about me, not at first and when I found out about it you scared me. It was us, you know. Me and you, Wills, your feelings were going to change everything and I didn’t want us to change. There’d been enough change between us…” he paused and gave her a long look. “You know?”

“His name was Jessie.” Annoyance made her tone sharper than Willow had intended. This was the first time in two years Xander had mentioned Jessie in any way at all and for him not to speak his friends name set Willow’s teeth on edge.

“I know that,” Xander said his eyes drifting to the soda can. “I still miss him.”

“You wouldn’t know it.”

Xander flinched. “I don’t try to block him out or forget about him. It’s just that with everything else going on there doesn’t seem to be much time to talk about him. Doesn’t mean I don’t remember him. Besides, we don’t want to upset Buffy, do we?”

Her eyes narrowed and her teeth ground together. “Buffy? What’s she got to do with it? She hardly knew Jessie, and maybe if she had never come to Sunnydale Jessie would still be alive.”

“You blame Buffy for Jessie’s death?” Xander’s jaw dropped open and he shook his head. “It wasn’t her fault he got turned, Wills. Vampire’s being in Sunnydale aren’t Buffy’s fault, and things could be a lot worse if she wasn’t here.”

“You’re right,” Willow said. “We would both probably be dead by now.”

Reaching across the table Xander caught her hand and squeezed her fingers. “I don’t ever want to think about that, you being gone. The world wouldn’t make sense without you in it, you’re my best friend.”

She squeezed his hand in return the warm glow of a long- standing friendship in her chest. “You’re my best friend too, Xan.”

“I guess I haven’t always been the best friend I could be. I’ve hurt you in the past,” he paused and wiped his free hand over his face. “But I never meant it. I wouldn’t deliberately hurt you, Wills.”

She smiled. “I know that.”

“You and me, we make a lot of sense, don’t we? I mean, we know each other inside out, we understand each other, I… well, I don’t know why I never saw it before. We make way more sense than me and Cordelia.”

“Is something wrong between you two?”

“No,” Xander shook his head. “We’re fine, just great. Except, you know, for the fact I can’t stop thinking about you, about us together. It’s right, isn’t it? Us I mean.”

She concentrated, she searched hard, but Willow came up empty. “I don’t think so. I think that ship has sailed.”

“No it hasn’t. I’ll have to wait for Cordelia to come home of course but as soon as she does I’ll end it. If I do, you’re going to be there for me, aren’t you, Wills? You’re going to end things with Oz and we’re going to be together? Like we should be.”

“No. You had your chance, Xander. You had it all these years we’ve been friends, you had it when you were using me to practice asking Buffy out, and you had it when you were choosing to be with Cordelia over me. I’m all out of chances, Xander.”

“You don’t mean that!” Xander grasped both her hands in his and held on tightly. “You don’t mean it, not really. You’re mad at me for being an idiot and you have every right to be. I’ve … the way I’ve been… the way I’ve treated you it’s been, well, not good. But I’ll make it up to you I promise.“

“We’re better off as friends and we won’t hurt anyone that way either.”

Xander lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “That doesn’t really have anything to do with it, does it? I mean, you either have that special feeling for someone or you don’t. I feel it, Wills. I know its been a bit late in getting here but I feel it now.”

Willow withdrew her hands dropping them into her lap. “Well I don’t, not any more. I look at you and I remember everything, how I felt about you as a friend, how I wanted so much more from you; but I don’t feel anything now. You’re my friend, Xander and that’s the way it is. I don’t want you that way anymore.”

“But… but… how can you say that? You’ve loved me for years, what could possibly have changed in a week?”

Willow’s lips pursed and she shrugged. “I don’t know what changed or how it changed but I know that it has.” That place in her heart where Xander had lived for so long was empty now. He didn’t live there anymore.

“So that’s it?” he was astounded. “That’s it?”

“That’s it. I’m not in love with you, Xander.”

“Fine.” The legs of the chair scraped against the kitchen floor as Xander stood up his face flushed red and his chin set. “If that’s the way you want it.”

“It is.”

“Fine.” He glared at her, furious with himself for leaving things too late, furious at her for not wanting him anymore. It was over before it ever got started and it hurt.

“I’ll see you later, Xan.” Willow tried for chipper but it fell flat. She felt awkward and hoped that it wouldn’t last, Xander was her best friend, he would always be her best friend and the thought of anything coming between them made her want to break down in tears.

“See you later,” Xander didn’t look at her as he left and shut the door sharply behind him.

Willow remained at the kitchen counter, she didn’t see Xander out. Her fingers trailed back and forth across the counter top her brow furrowed in thought. She cared about Xander, but there was a blank space where all those feelings of love and lust had once been.

She thought about Oz, her feelings for him and been weird lately, almost as though she were going through the motions. Oz had been special to her but now she felt nothing, there was simply emptiness.

 

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Willow didn’t hang around the house long after Xander left. She felt restless and didn’t want to wake Spike with her movements.

The day was warm, the sun was shining and Willow was sweating by the time she got to the end of the street. It was a normal day. Nothing out of the ordinary at all. There was nothing to suggest she had walked this same street last night in the snow. She wondered about the significance of the snow but nothing came to mind as a plausible reason for its appearance. She wondered about Angel and hoped he was doing better today. She thought about Xander, she wondered where he had gone and what he was doing now. She wondered about Buffy, had she slept easier knowing the immediate threat to Angel had been eliminated?

Her thoughts hopped about all over the place, her mind as restless as her body. Considering she was usually so focused Willow found her jumping thoughts annoying. She needed to do something, anything, to get rid of this restless feeling. It was like a permanent itch along her skin.

It was then she realised that she had walked further than she thought she had. She was looking up at Faith’s motel. Taking the steps two at a time she knocked rapidly on Faith’s door.

“Yeah?”

“It’s me,” Willow pushed the door open.

Faith was kneeling on the floor in front of a mini fridge a frown on her face as she arranged cans of soda in the limited space available. “What’s up, Red?”

“Oh, nothing,” Willow shrugged. “You feel like doing something?”

Faith’s eyebrows lifted. “You mean like hang? You and me?”

Willow nodded. “If you’re not busy. You’re probably busy though right? Slayer stuff to do, other plans, I get it, its okay…”

“No,” Faith interrupted. “I’ve got time if you wanna hang out.” She looked around at the dingy room. “Here?”

“We could go and get something to eat?” Her bowl of cereal hadn’t really done much for her, there was plenty of room in her belly for more food.

“Sure, there’s a diner just around the corner.” Faith scooped up her keys from the little bedside drawer and locked the door behind her, not that she had much to steal. “You see the snow last night?”

“Yeah, Spike and I were walking back to my house and it just started snowing. It was so weird. We solved the problem with Angel by the way.”

“Yeah?” Faith hid her annoyance, Buffy never bothered to tell her anything.

“I’ll tell you when we’re eating.”

The diner was one of those greasy looking places that seemed in dire need of a clean and a lick of fresh paint. There were some customers sitting at the tables, large gruff men whose trucks were parked outside. They didn’t even glance at the two girls, they were a tried lot, gulping down coffee and large quantities of food, intent only on fuelling up for the rest of their journey.

Faith and Willow took a seat in a corner booth giving their order to a waitress in a yellow dress with coffee stains on her once white apron. Faith stuck to her old favourite of burger and fries while Willow ordered a club sandwich and fries.

Once their food and soda’s had been placed before them Willow proceeded to update Faith on the events of the previous evening. Faith absorbed everything while quietly chewing her food. She was glad that Angel was okay, he seemed alright and it was hardly his fault that he had been dealing with all this, but she was furious with both Buffy and Giles.

They had been dealing with the First evil, and while Faith wasn’t exactly sure what that meant it didn’t take a genius to work out it wasn’t good, and yet Buffy had raced off on her own to handle it. There had been no phone call, no Scooby arrival requesting her immediate presence to deal with the danger; it had, as usual, been all about Buffy.

“She just can’t deal with me being here, can she?”

Willow didn’t have to ask who Faith was talking about. She wanted to back Buffy up, explain that it had to be hard for Buffy to come to terms with another Slayer in the world, but she didn’t think that was entirely true, after all, Buffy had really liked Kendra. Kendra hadn’t lived in Sunnydale though, she had come to town to help and then gone home again, Faith was in Sunnydale all the time and Willow felt that Buffy was intimidated and threatened by Faith. A small frown creased her forehead, wasn’t that a disloyal thought? Didn’t it attribute pettiness into Buffy’s character? Shouldn’t she feel a little bad about that? Willow shrugged, she didn’t feel bad and couldn’t be bothered to waste time analysing it.

“No,” she said simply. “If it were me, if you were academic like me then I’d feel as though my position in the group was in jeopardy, that you were going to turn out smarter than me and take my place. I guess that’s normal?”

“I guess.”

“Shouldn’t a Slayer be above that kind of thing though? I mean, as a Slayer your job is to keep the world safe, shouldn’t that be the priority in spite of what she thinks or feels about you? After all, only last year she made a deal with Spike an evil vampire. She certainly didn’t like him but she was willing to work with him to stop Angelus and save the world.”

“Spike wasn’t going to work with her for long though, was he? Spike wasn’t part of the group, it was a onetime thing.”

“You aren’t a onetime thing,” Willow murmured.

Faith took a large bite of her burger wiping a blob of ketchup from the corner of her mouth. Spike wasn’t a one time thing either, she could see it as clearly as she saw Willow sitting in front of her. Somehow, no matter what the conversation, Willow managed to bring it around to Spike.

“Nope.” Faith decided to leave Spike for now, she was sure he would make another appearance in the conversation before too long. “The sooner B gets used to that the better.”

“Maybe you could come to the library a bit more?” Willow twirled her straw around her glass. “Maybe Giles doesn’t feel that you want to be a Slayer and all it entails because you don’t join the meetings?”

“Maybe,” Faith conceded. “But they don’t invite me either. Not gonna hang around where I’m not wanted.”

“Doesn’t seem to bother Cordeila,” Willow muttered her eyebrows pleating together for a moment.

Faith grinned. “Your claws are showing, Red.”

“They scratched today,” Willow spoke softly. “I upset Xander.”

“Oh?”

Willow replayed her conversation with her best friend. The further into the story she got the less she worried about Xander and the more annoyed she felt. “Who does he think he is? Does he think that he’s only got to click his fingers and I’ll come running?”

“Men usually do,” Faith said, her lip curling in disgust.

“Well I’m so not going to go running” she said, resolve face falling into place.

“I think you made that pretty clear. He’ll probably sulk over it for a few days, his ego will have taken a bit of a knock.”

“Well, now he knows how it feels. Imagine sitting there with the boy you love as he uses you to practice asking out your best friend. Not so much with the fun I’ll have you know.”

Faith’s eyebrows raised. “I’d have told him to piss off.”

Willow let out a small sigh. “I guess I’m not the type of person to say that.”

 

“Well you should be,” Faith snapped a cross look settling over her face. “Why be a doormat when you don’t have to be? You proved you can do it, you did it today. You ought to stand up for yourself a bit more. Nothing wrong with that, you know. You can’t rely on anyone else to do it, you gotta take a stand for yourself and stop letting people walk all over you.”

It didn’t help matters knowing that she was extremely guilty of letting people take advantage of her inability to say no. Being helpful was ingrained in her, if she was smart and capable and could do things for others then they noticed her, relied on her; it was a close second to being wanted for herself. Having Faith bring this particular trait into the open made it look like a weakness. She didn’t appear helpful, just spineless and Willow felt a trickle of indignation run through her.

“Well, you put Harris in his place anyway. It might be a little late but better late than never, huh?”

Willow nodded and ate the last of her sandwich. She chewed thoughtfully while Faith took a big gulp of soda and dug into her fries. “I don’t know where it went.”

“Where what went?”

“The feelings I had for Xander. I had them for ever so long and they just went, poof,” Willow snapped her fingers for emphasis. “And Oz, that isn’t the same. I used to get butterflies just thinking about him, I used to get this warm little feeling when I kissed him. I used to look forward to seeing him every day….”

“And now?” Faith prompted when Willow trailed off a confused look on her face.

“Now I don’t care,” she let out a long breath her shoulders sagging and her eyes closing. “You don’t know how good it feels to say that out loud.”

Faith lent back against the bench her lips twitching into a smile. “I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that all this has something to do with the bleached blonde evil undead. Am I right?”

Willow flushed and nodded, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.

Faith laughed. “What’s the biggy? We’ve all been there, crushing on the older guy, the bad boy, the one we know is no good but we like him anyway. It doesn’t do anyone any harm. It’s okay to have a naughty little fantasy about Spike if you want to. I won’t tell anyone.”

She shook her head. “It isn’t that exactly. I mean I’ve wondered what it would be like if he kissed me, I think he nearly did yesterday but Angel had a freak out and ruined it,” Willow paused her lips forming a disappointed pout. “It just, with Spike, it feels different. It’s weird, last year he scared the living day lights out of me and when I was with him in the basement the night I did the spell, well, super terrifying. He’s like the biggest of the Big Bad’s.”

 

“And now?”

Willow shrugged. “Now he doesn’t scare me, at least not in the same way. I don’t know him very well. In fact, I don’t know him at all. I only know what I’ve read about him but… well, I just feel drawn to him.”

Faith smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Maybe it’s the soul thing. Maybe you aren’t drawn to Spike at all, maybe you’re drawn to your own soul?”

Willow shook her head. “No, it’s more than that. It would be easy if that’s all it was.”

“You don’t know I’m wrong,” Faith pointed out reasonably taking another bite of her burger.

“Okay, just say you’re right. Say the two halves of my soul are being drawn back together again, that would make sense, right? But it wouldn’t explain….”

“Explain what?”

She touched her fingers to her chest for a moment. “I… I feel…” Willow trailed off her voice soft and quiet.

“Oh, well, that’s more than the soul,” Faith agreed. “If you… feel.”

“It’s….”

“Complicated?”

“No.” Willow shook her head. “No it’s not complicated. There’s no such thing as complicated feelings. You either feel something for someone or you don’t and anyone who says differently is just trying to have their cake and eat it too.”

“Point taken,” Faith poked a fry at her. ‘So, you feel something for Spike, what’s the problem?”

Willow caught her bottom lip between her teeth. “What if I’m wrong and your right? What if we figure out how to reverse the spell and that feeling goes away?”

“Well….”

“But what if I’m right and it doesn’t have anything to do with the soul. What if it’s all about Spike, what then? I mean, just because I feel something doesn’t mean he’s going to feel it too.”

“Maybe…”

“And what if it is all about Spike, he’s evil, what does that say about me that I… you know, feel something for him that isn’t blind terror and fear?”

“I think you’re…”

“Xander, and Oz, I mean they’re nothing like Spike at all so how could I possibly really and truly feel something for Spike? If it was Angel then it might make some sort of sense what with him being all soul having. But Spike, I don’t know where the feelings have come from, no, that’s not true, I do know where they’ve come from but I don’t know if they’re real. What if they are? He’s not going to feel anything like that about me after what I did to him.”

Faith scratched her head and sighed. “Whichever way you look at it, you’ve got two options.”

“Which are?”

Faith rolled her eyes. “You either tell Spike….”

“I can’t do that!” Willow was horrified at the very thought.

“… Or you don’t.” Faith gave her a long look. “Doesn’t look like that suggestion appeals to you either.”

Willow sighed and closed her eyes resting her head in her hands. “What would you do?”

Faith was surprised that Willow would ask for her outright opinion, they were so very different that Faith couldn’t see how knowing what she would do would help Willow, but she answered anyway. “Want, take, have.”

“Huh?”

“If I wanted him then I’d take him and have him. If you want something you should take it and have it.”

Willow didn’t answer immediately; she considered Faith’s words and smiled. “Want, take, have.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	19. Chapter 19

 

Chapter 19

 

Xander’s knock at the door hadn’t been particularly loud, but not being used to knocks on doors whilst he was sleeping the noise disturbed Spike. After pulling on his jeans he had tiptoed down the hallway to see what was what. Make sure everything was alright with his girl.

 

He hadn’t intended on listening to their discussion, he just wanted to make sure nothing nasty had risen its ugly head, but after hearing the beginning of the conversation wild Slayer’s couldn’t have torn Spike from the hallway where he slid into the shadows against the wall to hear all that there was to be heard.

 

Spike felt no pangs of conscious at eavesdropping on their private conversation; eavesdroppers often heard interesting things and today was proving to be no exception to the rule.

 

At first Spike had been heartsick to realise there was not just the wolf but this boy in the running for Willow’s affection. This boy was her best friend, they had a long history together, that was difficult to compete with as he knew from experience where Dru and Angelus were concerned. But, the sun had peeked out from behind the cloud and unlife was good again; Willow had shot the boy down.

 

He had waited until the boy left the house before creeping back to bed. It would never do for Willow to even suspect he had been a witness to such a private moment between her and her best friend. Not long after she had left the house and Spike had settled down to go over what he had heard while he waited for sleep to claim him again a satisfied smile on his face.

 

 

XxX

 

Willow spent the remainder of the day with Faith. There was nothing much to do in Sunnydale as Willow knew from experience, but as Faith had yet to see the beach they went there and spent some time poking about at the rock pools and exploring the caves.

 

They found nothing of particular interest, the usual seaweed and algae, a crab or two and some shrimp; although Willow became quite excited when Faith discovered a starfish in one of the pools.

 

It was while they were walking in the surf, jeans tucked up around their knees and sneakers swinging from finger tips that they met Matt and Logan, two boys just a little older than they were from Australia who were travelling around the States in search of the perfect wave.

 

They offered to teach the girls how to surf and Faith sorely wished she had a swimming costume with her to give it a go, but Willow, never the most graceful of people had trouble walking on her own two feet half the time, expressed little interest in the activity.

 

It seemed a strange sort of sport to her, fighting the ocean to keep your balance for a few precious moments before rolling into the surf. Matt had openly laughed and patted his board affectionately.

 

“You can’t know what its like until you try it. Out there in the water riding a wave is the most incredible experience. The sea is strong, it’s violent, but when you’re on that wave you’ve got all that power beneath you and you’re controlling it.” He smiled and ran his hand down the board again. “Incredible.”

 

Willow shivered, Matt’s words struck a cord within her, they made her ache deep in the pit of her stomach; but it was not of surfing she was thinking. Instead of a surfboard and a wave Willow saw the pale, bare chest of Spike; she saw his taut face, his eyes smouldering. She saw in her minds eye a picture as clear and real as though it were a memory; her hand in the centre of Spike’s chest, using his body for leverage, feeling that animal strength and raw, supernatural power straining beneath the surface of his skin; but she was the one in control.

 

Blinking, her face flushing and her pulse throbbing wildly at her throat Willow swallowed giving her head a spare shake to clear it. This was not the kind of thing she should be thinking about, but Faith’s voice echoed in her head: _want, take, have._

Logan had taken a shine to Faith and they wandered up the beach together leaving Willow alone with Matt. He was a nice boy and was able to answer most of her questions about Australia; somewhere she had never been of course. He held her interest for most of the afternoon and Willow’s eager brain devoured all the information he could provide. He wasn’t particularly academic but he did enjoy reading and they discussed the books they had read and gave each other recommendations.

 

In spite of Matt’s interesting conversation Willow’s thoughts drifted often to Spike. She wondered if he had ever been to Australia and if so, when. Did he like to read? What did he like to do when he wasn’t plotting evil plans and fighting with Slayers or Angelus?

 

They had a connection, her and Spike, her soul saw to that, but she knew so little about him. Willow shrank from asking him too personal a question, she didn’t want him to think she was prying and he might not want to discuss his past with her anyway.

 

She had done this to him, given him half a soul. She was the one forcing him to stay in Sunnydale until such a time as they could find a way to undo the spell she had cast and Spike could go on his merry way doing whatever it was that he did. Willow’s eyes widened slightly. Buffy had made a deal with Spike last year, he helped her take down Angelus and Spike left Sunnydale with Dru forever, he had promised Buffy would never hear from them again. Desperate for an ally in her efforts to stop Angelus Buffy had agreed to the terms but Spike had broken them the moment he returned to Sunnydale. Add to that the fact that Spike was just plain, downright evil, would Buffy or Angel allow Spike to leave town once her soul belonged to her again?

 

A cold shiver swept her body and Willow rubbed at her arms, her skin was warm from the heat of the sun but it had little effect on her. The cold chill she felt went more than skin deep. She didn’t want anything to happen to Spike. She shouldn’t care and Willow knew it. He had killed hundreds, maybe even thousands of people during his time on Earth, a stake through the heart was no more or less than what he deserved; but still the thought of his death chilled her to the very marrow of her bones.

 

She wouldn’t allow it happen. She would simply have to find a way to make Buffy promise not to hurt Spike. Willow didn’t for a moment believe she would be able to extract such a promise from Angel, but maybe she could make Buffy swear to protect Spike. Angel wouldn’t go up against Buffy.

 

Matt could tell he had lost her again. Every now and then her eyes would glaze over and he knew his words were falling on deaf ears, still, he kept talking and eventually Willow would return to the present and somehow manage to pick up the thread of the conversation.

 

“Big plans for Christmas?” he asked when he saw Willow blink as she came back to herself.

 

“No, Jewish,” she said, patting her chest. “You?”

 

Matt grinned showing perfectly even teeth. He jerked his thumb over his shoulder, “Surfing.”

 

Willow smiled. “Of course.”

 

He was a good looking boy Willow noticed, but she saw his handsome face with disinterested eyes. She appreciated the shock of dark hair that flopped into his eyes and the deep, soulful brown eyes framed with thick black lashes, but they stirred no feelings in her at all.

 

“If you aren’t busy Christmas Day you could always hit the beach, we’ll be here.”

 

“I’ll be busy.” Willow rather hoped that Spike would be free, she couldn’t really see him spending his day with Angel if he could avoid it. Hopefully he would swing by her place and they could practice some more spells or go to Willy’s again. Tomorrow she would see Buffy, Xander and Oz to exchange gifts and they would probably go to see Giles, they had decided to club together this year for his Christmas gift, even Oz and Cordelia had chipped in, they had bought him something he would really enjoy; the complete works of Charles Dickens. Browsing the internet she’d managed to find them at a very reasonable price.

 

The last two years she had been alone for the holidays and she had enjoyed the exchanging of gifts with her friends while consuming some traditional Hanukkah food, although it was difficult to get a look in with the jelly doughnuts when Xander was around.

 

Willow’s thoughts lingered on Oz for a few moments, it would be the last time she saw him for a few days, he would be going to L.A with The Dingos on Boxing Day for a few gigs. Whenever Oz went away before she experienced a little worrying pang that he would meet a girl who was prettier and more interesting than she was. The pang was absent today and it bothered her.

 

“Won’t you miss your family?” It was different for her to be alone at this time of year, her parents had never really been big on the concept of family.

 

“I guess I probably will, but it’s only one year out of my life. We’ll have a big family Christmas next year.”

 

“If that’s your plan I wouldn’t hang around in Sunnydale too long.”

 

Matt looked confused. “What do you mean?”

 

“We have a very high death rate. Gang related,” she added as an afterthought.

 

“Really? This place?”

 

“You wouldn’t believe the things that go on in Sunnydale,” Willow said with feeling. “Try not to wander around after dark if you can help it.” She glanced up at the sky, the light was fading and she wanted to be home when Spike woke up. “Speaking of which, its getting late.” Turning she waved at Faith to get her attention.

 

“What is it?” Faith called crossing the sand towards her.

 

“It’s time to go, it’ll be dark soon and I want to get home before then,” Willow said firmly. “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to,” Faith looked like she was having a good time and Willow had no desire to spoil it for her.

 

“Its fine,” Faith shook her head once. She’d never hear the end of it if something happened to Willow on her watch. Besides, she was pretty low on friends at the moment, she couldn’t afford to lose the only one she had.

 

They said their goodbyes and made their way back into town. Faith eyed Willow a small grin on her face. “Matt seemed to like you.”

 

“He’s nice.”

 

“Hot too.”

 

Willow shrugged. “I didn’t really notice.”

 

Faith believed her. “Logan invited me back for Christmas Day, they’re gonna have a barbeque on the beach, some beer, that kinda thing. You in?”

 

Willow shrugged again. “Maybe.”

 

Faith knew she wouldn’t be with either Buffy or Xander, they had their own family dinners to attend. She figured Oz would probably swing by the house but that wouldn’t be all day, Willow was waiting to see if Spike would offer himself up as company. Faith didn’t exactly blame her, she wouldn’t say no to Spike’s company herself.

 

“Are you around tomorrow? I got you a Christmas gift.”

 

Faith looked surprised, she truly hadn’t been expecting that. “Yeah, I’m around. No big plans.” Somehow it didn’t pain her to be honest with Willow, she could admit she was at a loose end with nowhere to go and no friends to hang with. Maybe it was because Willow’s parents were just as crappy as her own mother was, it was almost a relief to meet someone who was continually left to her own devices as she had been.

 

“Good. I’ll come by in the morning then?”

 

“Fine. I’ll be in.”

 

Evening had arrived by the time they got back into town, the shops had shut for the night, the streetlamps had burst to life and the streets were empty of shoppers. They were just passing Meyer’s Sport and Tackle shop when a glinting object in the window caught Willow’s eye. She paused to stare into the shop, the orange glow of the streetlamp slanting in through the window fell directly onto a sword that was enclosed in the glass cabinet in the front of the window. Crossing the street Willow stood examining the sword with her hands linked behind her back a thoughtful frown puckering her forehead.

 

“What’s up?” Faith came to stand beside her and look the sword over for herself.

 

“Buffy has weapons.”

 

“Yeah, she’s pretty well packed.”

 

“Angel has his own weapons too.”

 

“Makes sense, he’s all about fighting the good fight.”

 

“If they decided to band together against Spike, well, he only has the two fists God gave him.”

 

“From what I’ve been told about him those two fists have served him pretty well for over a century,” Faith pointed out. “He hasn’t survived this long by being weak and stupid.”

 

“True,” Willow agreed slowly. “But he ought to have his own weapon too.”

 

“It would even out the playing field.” Faith could see where the conversation was heading and was slightly surprised that she had no qualms about encouraging Willow to arm one of the world’s most vicious killers. Spike was a vampire and she was a Slayer, they were natural enemies who looked to destroy each other, Spike had killed two Slayers in his time, and yet she didn’t balk like a mule at the idea of Willow casually handing him a sword of his very own.

 

“I’ll come back tomorrow and get it,” Willow decided. She smiled and turned away from the window. She had only taken two steps before she gave a disappointed cry. There was a sign on the door saying the shop was closed for the holidays. “Now what do I do?”

 

“Not a problem.” Faith walked up to the door giving it a hard kick. The wood splintered as the lock broke and the door swung inwards.

 

Willow bit her lip as she followed Faith into the shop. “I’m not sure we should be doing this.”

 

“Why not?” She went up to the glass case in the window using her elbow to shatter the glass. “I’m a Slayer, you’re a witch, we aren’t normal Red, why should we be bound by normal rules? Besides, we fight the forces of evil, we save people’s lives and we don’t get any thanks for it. We risk our lives and don’t see a dime in return. When we see something we want why shouldn’t we take it?”

 

There was something wrong with that logic but Willow couldn’t quite bring herself to find the fault in it when Faith turned to her the sword in her hands.

 

“I told you before. Want. Take. Have.” Faith held out the sword like an offering.

 

“Want. Take. Have.” Willow murmured her fingers running down the smooth metal blade before curling around the heavy hilt. She didn’t know much about weapons, she had never wielded anything more than a stake in her life, but Willow thought this was at least a nice looking sword.

 

The rounded pommel boasted an engraving of a dragon, there was a soft black leather grip, an intricate design along the cross guard and the blade gleamed cruelly in the dim light.

 

Willow could easily imagine this sword in Spike’s hand. “I’ll take it.”

 

“Good. Let’s get going before the cops show up.”

 

XxX

 

 

The house was quiet when Willow returned, it seemed that Spike wasn’t yet up and about which gave her the opportunity to hide the sword before he saw it. It was only when she was standing on the doorstep that she realised what an idiot she had been not to give the sword to Faith and retrieve it from her in the morning.

 

She hid the sword beneath her bed her mind busy as she tried to recall how much wrapping paper she had left over. She’d have to double check and buy some more tomorrow if she didn’t have enough to wrap the sword.

 

Taking off her shoes and shrugging out of her jacket Willow crept to the spare room and listened outside the door trying to discern if Spike was awake yet. She was surprised to hear what sounded like whimpers of distress on the other side of the door. She hesitated for a moment, unsure as to whether she should just barge in on Spike, but the low moan of anguish decided for her and she pushed open the door.

 

The room was darker than usual with the blanket over the window blocking out even the pale evening twilight. Willow switched on the light and found Spike tucked up in a ball his face taut, his brow furrowed and his fingers flexing over the bed sheet.

 

Spike was stuck, trapped inside his own head with two women he had never known. They had been in his life for a matter of moments, and yet they stayed with him now in the darkness with silent accusing eyes that gave him no peace.

 

Jessica Stevens stood off to the side her face pale, dark smudges beneath her eyes. She was hard faced, but her mouth was oddly vulnerable looking and her hair was two shades too harsh to be anything like Willow’s. The right side of her neck was a mess off blood and flesh and torn tissue; a bite filled with anger and pain and jealousy.

 

Her fingers touched to the wound for a moment. “It hurt,” she spoke coldly. “But I can deal with that, it went when I died. It’s the pain out there I can’t deal with,” she waved her arm in a circle.

 

“Its all I can feel,” Rebecca Hartland moved slowly, walking around him, brushing her long, copper curls from her face. “Pain. My children are full to the brim with pain and I can’t help them, can’t sooth them, can’t make it go away. It consumes them, it cries out to me through the darkness you put me in.”

 

Spike flinched, he didn’t want to hear this. There was still no remorse in him for taking the lives of these women, but the guilt ate at his insides like acid when he thought of the little boys left behind.

 

“I was the strongest most powerful person in my son’s little world,” Jessica circled him too, her eyes never leaving his face and Spike was forced to move with her, to keep watching her. “You killed me, you sent me away. You destroyed

his world.”

 

“Do you know what it’s like to have someone you love ripped from your life with that kind of violence?” Rebecca demanded.

 

“Yes!” Spike yelled his fingers digging into his hair. “Yes I know. I lost my mother to a demon too.”

 

“And yet you subjected others to that same pain. How many mothers have you killed over the years? How many families have you torn apart at the seams? How many women have you violated?” Jessica’s lip curled up in disgust. “Too many to count. Too many to remember.”

 

“You do it time and time again,” Rebecca said with a cold contemptuous laugh. “Over and over again you kill, you maim, you torture, you violate and you forget. Your victims mean nothing to you, nameless faceless people in the dark. You forget all of them don’t you, all except one.”

 

Spike’s jaw clenched his body going ridged. This wasn’t real and he knew it. These women were dead and gone, already decomposing in the ground somewhere. This was a nightmare, a nightmare born of guilt and empathy and he cursed Willow’s soul for doing this to him.

 

The two women closed in like vultures, he was powerless to move but there was nowhere to run in this dark world which consisted only of the three of them and his guilt which was like a living breathing presence.

 

“You always remember me, don’t you, William?” Jessica’s face changed, her body shifted and is mother stood before him.

 

“Bloody hell! Not you!” Spike spun away from her only to find that Rebecca was shifting and changing as she too became his mother.

 

“My sweet William,” his mother smoothed his cheek gently. “You still think about me, don’t you?”

 

“Not until recently,” Spike snapped.

 

Two mother’s, both touching his face with gentle fingers. They spoke as one, their voice blurred and echoing. “You always remember the very first woman you violated, don’t you? Your dear, helpless mother.”

 

They leant in, two sets of papery lips brushing both cheeks. “My dark little prince.”

 

“No!” Spike tried to get away, he tried to pry himself free but they held on with thin, wrinkled hands that belied their strength.

 

“Want to taste me again my sweet boy?”

 

“NO!” Spike fought like a wild cat, but he couldn’t get free.

 

“Spike!”

 

His mother never called him that, he hadn’t been Spike until decades later. He knew that wasn’t part of his dream.

 

“Spike!”

 

He focused on the voice, and felt something warm on his shoulder. He knew he was surfacing from the nightmare and he reached towards that voice calling his name again.

 

Spike came awake with a jerk. He blinked rapidly.

 

“It was a just a dream, Spike.”

 

He looked up surprised to see Willow sitting on the bed beside him looking at him with worried eyes, her voice laced with concern. “Are you alright?” Her hand covered his shoulder, her fingers moved lightly back and forth in a gesture of comfort.

 

“Fine. ‘M fine, love,” Spike sat up, he somehow had the presence of mind to ensure that the bed sheet covered him from the waist down. “Just a dream is all.”

 

Willow peered at him, he looked stricken and she knew it had been no ordinary dream in spite of Spike’s reassurances. A shiver worked its way down her spine, what could have sprung up in the realms of sleep that would affect a vampire like Spike so badly?

 

“Shall I get you a drink, Spike?” She strove to be helpful, it was what she did in times of crisis.

 

He nodded. “Yeah, thanks, love. I’ll just take a shower an’ come down, alright?”

 

“Alright,” Willow smiled at him. “I put fresh towels in the bathroom in case you wanted them.”

 

“Thanks, pet.”

 

Willow got up and went to the door, glancing back at him once before she left.

 

Spike wasn’t long in the shower, the sensation of warm water cascading over his body made him feel better, as though he could literally wash the nightmare away. He wondered briefly if Angel felt that intense amount of guilt and misery every day and Spike thanked God that Willow’s soul wasn’t such a burden to bear.

 

When he finally made it down to the kitchen he was surprised to find a mug of hot chocolate waiting for him with tiny white marshmallows melting on the surface. He sat at the little counter opposite Willow and took a sip. “’S good, love.”

 

She smiled. “Feeling better?”

 

“It was just a dream, love.”

 

“Looked more like a nightmare from where I was sitting.”

 

Spike frowned, she could at least have the decency to let him keep his Big Bad dignity. Evil vampires did not have nightmares, they were the nightmares.

 

“Anything I can help with?”

 

“’S nothin’ pet. Just forget about it.”

 

Willow fell silent and sipped at her own hot chocolate.

 

Placing his mug back on the counter Spike angled his head and took a discreet sniff; sun, salt, and Slayer. He determined that she had been to the beach with Faith. There were other scents on her, faint, but there, two male scents, one stronger than the other and a little displeased growl vibrated in his throat.

 

“I went to the beach today,” she volunteered.

 

“Can smell the salt on you, love.”

 

“You can?” she looked surprised and took a sniff of her arm. “I don’t smell anything.”

 

He grinned. “You wouldn’t, would you love, you ain’t got a vampire’s nose,” he tapped the end of his nose.

 

She laughed and continued to chat about her day. She didn’t mention the visit from Harris and Spike made no mention of it either. His fingers briefly tightened on the mug when she told him about Matt and Logan, but the more she spoke, the more she told him about Matt the clearer it became that he was just someone she happened to meet on the beach one day. The boy had made no lasting impression on her.

 

She skipped over the sword, but in doing so Willow couldn’t help but remember why she had wanted it for him in the first place which brought to mind a very unpleasant subject. But, unpleasant or not, she knew she had to broach it.

 

“Spike, can we talk about what you did?”

 

“What did I do?”

 

“All those women you killed,” she spoke softly, afraid he would refuse to discuss it with her and half afraid that he wouldn’t.

 

Spike stilled, he supposed it had been ridiculous to think she wouldn’t bring it up at some point. She was the good girl, friends with the Slayer, she fought against evil every day, of course she would want to talk about it.

 

“What about ‘em?”

 

She chewed nervously on her bottom lip. “Why did you do it? You said something about being mad.”

 

“That’s ‘bout the size of it, pet.”

 

“So, what? Getting mad means you have to kill people?”

 

“Not necessarily. Just seemed like the thing to do at the time.”

 

His blasé attitude to so many pointless deaths made her cringe. What did it say about her that Spike could kill so many women in one night when he had half of her soul inside him? He had showed no remorse for his actions the previous night when he first told her about it and he showed no remorse now. He had taken their lives, snuffed them out like candles in the wind without one iota of regret. It was wrong, it was all wrong and that had to mean that she was all wrong too if her soul couldn’t prevent him doing something like this.

 

“Are you…. Do you….?”

 

“Do I what?”

 

She swallowed and rubbed her hands together. “Feel even a little bit guilty?”

 

“Not the way you mean,” he replied, a little unwillingly.

 

She wanted him to feel bad about the women, but he didn’t. It was the kids left behind he felt bad about. God damn the bitch! His mother had been dead and gone for more than a century, why was she on his mind now? He hadn’t given her a thought since he’d drove a stake through her heart.

 

Willow considered his words carefully but could find no meaning in them. She wanted to question him further but she had the feeling that to do so would be to pry. There was obviously something he was holding back, something he didn’t wish to discuss. There was a part of her which insisted she force the issue, letting the evil vampire keep secrets couldn’t be a good thing, but the other part of her trusted him enough to let sleeping dogs lie.

 

In the end she let it be.

 

Finishing his drink Spike reached across the counter covering her hand with his own, pleased when she didn’t recoil from him. “You’re upset because you think your soul should stop me from doin’ this kinda thing an’ it doesn’t. Now, aren’t I right?”

 

Willow nodded.

 

“You keep comparin’ me to Angel an’ that’s where you’re goin’ wrong, love. I’m not like Angel, he’s got his own soul back. I have yours, and whilst its all good an’ pure, it ain’t mine. I’m a demon, love, that’s who I am now, half your soul ain’t gonna override that, it ain’t gonna control the urges an’ impulses drivin’ the demon.”

 

“But… but the kittens… and helping Angel. It does affect you, Spike, it makes you all helpful and nice so why doesn’t it stop you killing?”

 

Spike chuckled dryly. “’M not denyin’ it’s ‘aving an affect on me, but that ain’t the same as changin’ me the way Angel’s soul changes ‘im. I’m a vampire, pet, I kill to feed, without blood I don’t survive.”

 

“Angel doesn’t kill to feed. He drinks animal’s blood from the butchers.”

 

“Those animals still had to die for him to feed. Maybe that doesn’t matter to you, the killin’ of cows and pigs an’ what ‘ave you. But it matter’s to some humans, they’re called vegetarians if I recall. And some humans won’t even allow doctors to operate on ‘em if an animal has to die for them to live. The world ain’t as straight forward as you’d like it to be, love, it’s all swings and roundabouts.”

 

Willow opened her mouth to argue the point but she couldn’t find a decent inroad; what he said was no more than the truth.

 

“You didn’t kill to feed,” she said at last.

 

“Says who?” Spike cursed her quick brain, he had been hoping she wouldn’t have picked up on that.

 

“Says you,” she pursed her lips. “You said you got mad and that’s why you killed those women.”

 

“Well yeah,” he admitted. “But I was hungry too. Vamp’s gotta eat, love.”

 

“You could drink bagged blood. You know, from a hospital.”

 

Spike smiled, it was a pleasant, disarming smile and Willow’s suspicions were instantly aroused. He had a pat answer for her and she knew it, but she couldn’t quite see what it was going to be.

 

“You’d ‘ave me steal from the sick an’ the injured? You’d ‘ave me take all that preciously horded blood being kept nice an’ safe to help all those in desperate need of transfusions to save their lives? And you one of the good guys. Fie, for shame.”

 

Willow fumed, and it showed in her eyes. They snapped and crackled and Spike’s very being surged towards her. He wanted that fire, he wanted to touch it and taste it and hold it and own it.

 

“Of course I don’t want you to do that,” she said with a soft resigned sigh. “I just… I’m trying to find an alternative here, Spike.”

 

“There isn’t one, pet. For me to keep livin’ someone has to die, for you to keep eatin’ animals ‘ave to die. It’s nature’s way, love, it’s all part of the same process of life an’ death. Put it out of your mind, love, it’ll drive you crazy if you don’t.”

 

Willow let out a sigh and closed her eyes. “Can we make a deal?”

 

“Depends, what you got in mind?”

 

“You don’t just kill to feed, you kill because you enjoy it too.”

 

Spike eyed her curiously, she didn’t sound angry anymore and she wasn’t accusing him either. “Can’t say there’s no truth in that.”

 

“Can you perhaps limit yourself to feeding?”

 

“While I’m ‘ere, while you’re soul’s still in me, any killin’ I’ll do will be strictly necessary. How’s that?”

 

“Not great, but not so bad either.”

 

He laughed and patted her hand. “You can’t change the nature of the beast, love.”

 

“Maybe not, but there’s bound to be an alternative, I’ve just got to figure out what it is.”

 

“I’ll await your conclusion with interest, love.”

 

He was laughing at her and she knew it, but Willow didn’t really mind. She had secured the best deal from him she knew she could hope for, at least for the time being. It was better than nothing. Besides, only last year Buffy had let both Spike and Drusilla leave Sunnydale to do more killing and God only knew what, she was only doing what she could to keep Spike safe now. If Buffy found out he was running around Sunnydale killing anyone he came across she’d dust him in the blink of an eye.

 

Again that cold feeling of dread swamped her at the very thought of Spike dying. She felt a little breathless and Willow clutched at the counter top for a moment to steady herself.

 

“You alright, love?” Spike frowned at her, she’d gone terribly white all of sudden, a distraught look crossing her face.

 

“Yes,” Willow forced a smile to her face. “Do you think you could take me to the clothes bank tonight, Spike? You said you would.”

 

“If you like,” he watched her rise and gathering the two empty mugs she took them to the sink “On one condition. You keep that fuzzy pink jumper with the lilac underneath, the one you wore the other night when I kidnapped you.”

 

“Why?” She turned and leant against the counter the sink at her back.

 

“I like it.”

 

Her surprise was evident. “Why?”

 

Spike’s lips curled into a smile as he rose and closed the distance between them. “You don’t know how good you look in it, pet. Shows off your neck just right, it does.” Leaning in he allowed his hands to rest on the counter on either side of her. “Made me want to bury my fangs in you.”

 

Something tightened in the pit of her stomach. Willow was aware that it shouldn’t have, but she couldn’t really find it in herself to worry about it. “Bite me?” It came out as a squeak and Spike chuckled in response.

 

“Bite you,” he agreed. “Sink my fangs into the soft skin of your throat and feel your pulse against my lips when I tasted you for the very first time.” His cock twitched and his demon roared, Spike had a hell of a time keeping control of himself.

 

“First time?” her voice was a whisper, her throat suddenly dry.

 

“Hum, got a feelin’ you’d taste as good as you smell an’ I don’t give up a good thing. Keep you I would, drink from you every day, little sips to savour like age old scotch or fine champagne.” Closing his eyes Spike dipped his head to the crook of her neck and inhaled deeply, he felt rather than heard the shuddering breath she took in response.

 

“I got a part of you inside me but its not enough anymore. You make me ache, love,” his voice was a deep rumble in her ear. “You make me ache to slide my fangs in your throat all nice an’ deep an’ slide my cock inside you at the same time.”

 

She made a sound of mingled shock and desire. Spike would wager her wolf nor any other boy for that matter had ever spoken to her like this. She wasn’t adverse to it even if he had managed to stun her into silence.

 

“It’s right, love; soul, blood, bodies, all joined in one way or another. I’ll make love to you, a nice, long, slow go at it an’ you’ll feel me; not just my cock inside you as deep as I can possibly go; but _me._ When I touch you, you’ll feel me all over your skin, you’ll feel me in your blood the way I’ll feel you in mine an’ you’ll feel me in your soul the way I feel your soul in me.”

 

The air was thick with unslaked desire, her arousal hot and heavy surrounded him as his cock strained full and heavy against the front of his jeans; but still Spike didn’t touch her, he didn’t dare trust himself.

 

Willow made a little noise in the back of her throat; a whisper of longing, a sigh of surrender, a whimper of desire and Spike growled in response.

 

“You feel me now, don’t you, pet? You feel me in every inch of you just the way I feel you.”

 

Her eyes were closed and she shivered, her lips parting as she panted quietly her body flushed with the heat of arousal. She wanted…. She needed…. _Something_. Ever the articulate one Willow was no more capable of putting her want and need into words than Xander was of explaining algebra.

 

“Wanna taste you, an’ not just your blood. Wanna spread your legs an’ taste your cunt too.” She made that sound again, the cross between shock and desire and Spike’s grip tightened on the counter until his fingers cramped. “Wanna feel even more of you, love, wanna feel if your warm an’ wet for me, wanna feel if you ache for me the way I ache for you. But you do, don’t you, pet? I can feel it now without even touchin’ you, I can feel your body pulled so tight an’ taut like a bowstring. ‘M just like you, love, my cock’s all hard an’ full an’ I need to let go too. Let go, pet.” His voice, thick and hoarse seemed to drop to an even huskier octave, “Let go. Come with me, Willow. Come with me…. Willow.”

 

He let out a low strained groan, the wooden counter top splintering between his fingers just as she gave a startled, desperate cry and her eyes shot open.

 

Willow swallowed, her body shook, her nerves were shot and she had no idea what to say or do next.

 

Spike took a step back, he wanted to sooth her but he daren’t touch her. Curling his hands into fists he stuck them in his pockets out of harms way. “Easy now, pet.”

 

She blinked; dazed, confused green eyes stared up at him. “S… Spike?”

 

How had they got here? Willow was so confused she couldn’t think straight, couldn’t seem to remember anything prior to the words _bury my fangs in you._ She was sure it would return to her at some point but right now it seemed very unimportant. Unbidden her hand went to her throat, her fingers probing the unmarked flesh.

 

Spike smiled slightly. “I won’t …” he turned towards the front door, “Slayer. Both of ‘em.” His Slayer alarm went into overdrive whenever Angel’s Perfect Princess and Faith were about.

 

Willow nervously wiped her hands on the back of her jeans and went to answer the door when the knock came; as Spike had predicted both Buffy and Faith stood on the doorstep. “Hi guys.”

 

“Hi, Wills,” Buffy stepped into the hallway. She paused and stared at Spike, who had propped himself against the doorframe of the kitchen, a look of pure amazement on her face. “What are you doing here?” She turned to Willow and jerked her thumb over her shoulder. “What’s he going here?”

 

“Oh, um, nothing really,” Willow let out a short breath.

 

Spike’s eyes darkened the longer he looked at Buffy and he silently cursed her for showing up now of all times. Whatever the Slayer was doing here he knew there wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that she would leave so long as he was present in the house. She didn’t trust him in spite of making that deal with him about Angelus last year and in spite of the fact he had half a soul now and that he had never shown any inclination to hurt Willow. Buffy still didn’t trust him. Not that Spike blamed her, but it was very inconvenient.

 

“I’ll be makin’ tracks then, pet.” He nodded once to Faith as he passed her and paused in the doorway. “You’re welcome by the way.”

 

Buffy frowned, he was looking directly at her a strange, almost mocking look in his eyes and a sardonic smile on his face. “Huh?”

 

“For savin’ your boyfriends life. ‘M always ‘appy to help you out, Slayer,” he gave her a mocking salute before stepping out into the night and shutting the door behind him.

 

Buffy’s frowned deepened into a scowl. It riled her to her very core that Spike had been the one to save Angel, to bring him back from the edge of death and make him want to continue to live. In her heart she knew it shouldn’t matter who had said or done what to stop Angel meeting the sun, but it still hurt that it had been Spike and not her who had given Angel the hope he needed.

 

“So,” Willow smiled brightly. “What’s the what?”

 

Pulling herself out of her thoughts Buffy smiled back. “Nest.”

 

“You in?” Faith asked.

 

“Oh sure,” Willow nodded. “Let me grab some stuff from my room and I’ll be right with you.”

 

With every step she took Willow could feel the dampness of her panties and her face flamed red. She hadn’t thought it would be possible to feel the things she had simply from listening to him talk. Something hot and fierce coiled and tightened in her stomach and her hands shook with the force of her emotions; she could almost still feel his voice curling, touching, stroking inside her.

 

Her nails left red crest moons in her palms as she sank against her bedroom door her thighs squeezing tightly together. “Spike,” it was a throaty, desperate whisper. She wanted him now as she had only moments ago with a violent, savage longing.

 

 

 

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

 

Giles and Xander were just preparing to leave the library when the door swung open and Amy appeared a big sports bag on her shoulder. She smiled a greeting. “I hoped you’d be here, Mr Giles. I have the books I promised.”

“Oh wonderful,” Giles set down the sword he was carrying and went to help Amy with the bag. “I appreciate this, Amy. I’ll take good care of them.”

“You’re welcome. I’d have been here sooner but what with last minute shopping and packing to go to my Auntie’s for Christmas I just haven’t had the time.”

“You’re going away for Christmas?” Xander asked coming to lean against the counter beside her.

“Yes, it’ll be nice to get out of Sunnydale for while. Dad’s waiting for me outside so I can’t stop, but here,” she pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket. “This is my Auntie’s number, if you need me to help with a spell or something give me a call and I’ll do what I can. Is Willow alright?”

Xander rolled his shoulders. “She says she is but she’s saying and doing stuff that’s just so un-Willowy.”

A sympathetic look crossed Amy’s face. “I haven’t had time to really look at the books. I hope they can help her.”

“Me too,” Xander said with feeling.

“We appreciate all your help, Amy,“ Giles said taking the books to his office and locking them safely away. “I’ll start going through these tonight, hopefully they can at the very least point us in the right direction.”

Amy eyed the sword he had set on the counter and the axe Xander held that swung a little at his side. “Are you going somewhere?”

“Woods,” Xander said, straightening up and adopting an air of importance. “Got a situation.”

Giles rolled his eyes and took up the sword again. “Yes, quite. And we don’t want to delay your Christmas trip, Amy.”

“Well, Merry Christmas,” she said with a smile and edged towards the door. “Um, good luck.”

“We don’t need luck,” Xander said swinging the axe around. “We’ve got skills.” The axe came down heavily behind him and lodged in the counter. Xander grimaced, struggling to pry it loose.

Giles closed his eyes and prayed for patience. “Thank you, Merry Christmas, Amy.”

“Bye,” she waved once, giving Xander a look of mingled curiosity and amusement before she left.

With one last heave Xander managed to dislodge the axe. “Got it.”

“If you’re quite ready, Xander?”

“Let’s go kick some vampire ass.”

XX

 

Having changed and packed up her bag Willow went with Faith and Buffy to the woods where they met up with Giles and Xander. Willow figured something really bad had to be going on if Giles was there too, he was usually all Watcher-y what with being a Watcher and everything.

Even with two Slayer’s in the mix it hadn’t been an easy fight. There had indeed been a nest but it wasn’t vampires, they had instead found a group of large demons hiding out in the caves with blueish grey skin and red glowing eyes. They had sharp teeth and large pointed ears with a series of horns above their eyes and along their large foreheads.

They were a strong bunch and fought valiantly. Willow had retreated to the mouth of the cave to dig out her candle and perform the cloaking spell, they needed all the help they could get.

Now a thick grey mist filled the cave, hidden in the shadows Faith, Buffy and Giles waited, watching the demon as it searched the mist for those who had barged into its home and attacked and killed its brethren.

Willow held up her candle, pleased that her spell was working so well. She blew out the flame, the mist swirled and disappeared and the demon came clearly into view.

Buffy, who had been perched on a ledge above the others leapt at the demon with the light, feline grace of a cat, and tackled it to the ground. Giles came rushing forward to assist her, they each took hold of the demons arms and pulled it from the ground pinning it against the wall. Irritably, the demon shook Giles off and with a swipe of its arm sent Giles forcefully into a nearby wall and he slumped to the ground.

Faith came forward then sword held high. She charged at the demon and plunged the blade into its heart. The demon gave an agonising scream as Faith retracted the sword and it fell face down to the ground narrowly missing Giles who rolled off to the side.

“Wills, you okay?” Buffy asked.

Willow nodded. “I’m fine.”

“Good thing you were here,” Faith said. “These babes were wicked rowdy. If it wasn’t for your spell we’d have been in big trouble.”

Willow grinned and looked down at the candle. “No melting, no scary mist. All good this time.”

“What are they?” Buffy asked looking down at Giles who was kneeling beside the fallen demon and examining it with unconcealed curiosity.

“I’m not completely sure.”

Buffy’s lips pursed, she didn’t hear those words from Giles often but when she did she knew research was imminent. Research was so not her favourite thing to do, too many books depressed her.

There was a stirring to the left beneath a pile of cardboard boxes and Xander emerged scrabbling to stand on unsteady feet. “Good show everyone,” he offered them two thumbs up.

Willow winced as he wobbled. “Are you okay, Xan?”

“Oh tip top,” he assured her. “If anyone sees my spine lying around, just try not to step on it.”

“One day you’re going to get really hurt,” Buffy said concerned.

“Or killed,” Faith added.

“I’d like you all to remember just who it was, who, at a crucial moment distracted the lead demon by allowing her to pummel him about the head.”

Faith rolled her eyes, her lips twisting in amusement. “It was real manly how you shrieked and all.”

“Faith’s right, Xan, one day you’re going to get yourself killed jumping into the fight like that,” Willow said. “I honestly don’t know what you were thinking attacking a demon that size by yourself when even Faith and Buffy were struggling and they have Slayer powers. It was obvious you were just going to get hurt. And it really doesn’t help Buffy and Faith having you flailing around like a puppet on a string, how can they fight at their full potential when they’re worried about you? Maybe you should leave the battles to the able fighters from now on.”

Xander’s face flamed red, completely mortified. Buffy shifted her weight uncomfortably from foot to foot and Giles cleared his throat as he rose to his feet.

“So, we, um, we’re researching then?” Buffy asked fixing her eyes on Giles, refusing to look at Xander, she could feel his humiliation even if she couldn’t see the flush of his face in the dimness of the cave. It wasn’t like Willow to be so blunt or to disregard someone’s feelings this way, but then, Willow hadn’t minded telling her exactly what she thought of her friendship a few days ago either. There was a perverse part of Buffy which was relived someone else was feeling the rough side of Willow’s tongue and it wasn’t just her.

“Yes indeed,” Giles said, a frown furrowing his brow as he stared down at the demon at his feet.

Packing her candle away Willow fell into step with Faith and they left the cave chatting quietly together. Buffy felt a sharp stabbing in her chest as she trailed along behind them.

“See, I told you,” Xander said pointing after them. “Un-Willowy.”

“I’m not disinclined to agree,” Giles murmured

They went back to the library, Faith and Buffy spent some time cleaning off the weapons while Giles and Willow settled down at the table to begin the research. Xander came in last having been to the bathroom to wipe some of the dust, dirt and blood from his hands and face.

When he arrived at the library Willow was already reading, Xander took a few moments to watch her unobserved. She was sitting back in her chair a look of concentration on her face and her green eyes drifting along the page as she absorbed its contents. She looked as she always did when she was researching, except for the skinny jeans and the tight black top she wore that fit snugly around her breasts. Somehow, even Cordelia’s tightest tops, most clinging dresses and shortest skirts didn’t affect him the way this one top did.

Willow had breasts, who knew.

Willow didn’t want him anymore, she had made that perfectly clear. It didn’t stop him looking or wanting though, he was used to looking. Xander had rarely met a girl he had wanted who wanted him back, expect for Cordeila and he still couldn’t quite work out how that had all come about.

“I think we’re probably going to be here for a while,” Giles said, indicating the pile of books he had brought to the table and giving Faith and Buffy a pointed look.

“Don’t we get snacks?” Buffy pouted as she took a seat beside Willow.

“I’ll go,” Xander offered.

Willow looked up and smiled at him. “There, an important job that’s right up your street. It’s all about team work, we need snacks, you provide them; team work. And,” she added, “You’re not in the way or getting hurt.”

Xander stilled his jaw tensing. He heard Buffy suck in a sharp breath and Faith snorted. Giles had the decency to keep his eyes on the book he held.

“I’ll go get the snacks then,” Xander said through grit teeth, he turned and left the library.

“You, um, you were a bit hard on him, don’t you think, Wills?” Buffy spoke softly, not wanting to deal with any of Willow’s truthful words herself.

Willow shrugged. “He’s better off out of harm’s way and he never could take a hint. Better to give it to him straight and keep him nice and safe. We don’t want anything to happen to him, do we? And besides, now that Faith’s here there really is no need for him to be in any danger, is there? You two can patrol together.”

“Of course we don’t want anything to happen to him,” Buffy shuddered at the very thought. “It’s just…”

“I’d have thought you’d have been on my side,” Willow said with a small frown. “After what happened to Jessie.”

It was Buffy’s turn to still, the blood drained from her face and her eyes grew so wide they threatened to take over her face. She said nothing in response, but Willow didn’t appear to expect an answer, she returned to her book effectively closing the conversation.

The library descended into silence, but it was a tense, strained kind of silence that made Faith’s skin itch. Even though she didn’t know who Jessie was, it was obvious that Willow’s comment meant something, that Jessie was a sore point that had been glossed over until Willow had deigned to drag it out into the open and force it to be acknowledged. The silence didn’t lift when Xander returned, in fact it seemed to get even heavier and pressed down on Faith until she felt she would burst.

“It’s the end of the world,” Giles voice broke the silence and made Faith jump.

“Are you sure?” Buffy put down her book.

“The demons we fought tonight are part of The Sisterhood of Jhe, they are an Apocalypse cult. They exist solely to bring about the world's destruction, and we've not seen the last of them. More will follow.”

“More wicked good times then,” Faith said leaning back in her chair.

“It seems,” Giles said slowly. “That they intend to open the Hellmouth and if they succeed the world will be overrun with demons of all kinds.” He took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“How do we stop it?” Xander asked dusting powdered sugar off his fingers.

“When’s it going to happen?” Buffy asked at the same time.

“I’m not sure, to both questions.”

“So,” Buffy let out a breath. “Deep research mode it is then?”

Giles nodded, “I’m afraid so.”

“If there’s more,” Faith said thoughtfully. “Shouldn’t we double the patrol or something? We might find another nest or even stop them in the act.”

“Yes, good idea, Faith. Buffy, maybe you could ask Angel if he’s heard anything on the demon grapevine,” Giles suggested. “I know most of the demons in Sunnydale avoid him if they can, but he still manages to hear things we don’t.”

“Sure, no problem, I’ll swing by his place and ask,” Buffy got to her feet an eager expression on her face.

“I didn’t mean right now,” Giles said putting a steadying hand on her arm. “It’s late, go home and get some sleep, we’ll start tomorrow.”

Willow sighed inwardly how relieved she suddenly felt at Giles words, she couldn’t concentrate on research, not even to stop the Apocalypse after what had happened with Spike earlier this evening. She still felt hot and bothered by it in spite of finding herself in the middle of a battle with The Sisterhood of Jhe.

She wondered where he was and what he was doing. Would he come to see her before he retired for the day? The prospect of seeing him again both excited and terrified her. How would she look him in the face after what had happened? How would she refrain herself from throwing herself at him as soon as she saw him again?

It was all so confusing and arousing.

Pulling her jacket back on and taking up her bag Willow paused her mouth popping open in surprise. “Oh!” The disappointment in her tone was that of opening up a present and finding the box empty.

“What is it?” Faith asked.

Willow shook her head. “Nothing.”

It had only just occurred to her that Spike still hadn’t kissed her! He wanted her, Willow knew he did, he had told her how much, so why hadn’t he kissed her? Maybe he would have if Buffy and Faith hadn’t turned up and she scowled at yet another interruption at a crucial Spike moment.

Perhaps, if they had been left alone there would have been more going on than kissing. Perhaps Spike would have done all that he said he wanted to do to her. The thought left her breathless and trembling with excitement and fright. How could she possibly do _that_ with Spike. She hadn’t done _that_ with Oz. She had Oz were close but they weren’t all that intimate. Oz didn’t push her or try to rush her into something she wasn’t quite ready for and Willow had always appreciated that about him. He accepted her as she was, and took what she offered so willingly without demanding more. He was willing to go at her pace and because of that she felt comfortable with him, they had a deeper, more intimate relationship that had nothing to do with the physical side of things.

She wasn’t close to Spike, but she wanted to be, she wanted to know all about him. More than that she wanted him, wanted him in ways she hadn’t known it was possible to want someone. There was something vital and earthy about Spike that appealed to her. He was dark and dangerous and somehow those qualities spoke to her, drew her in like a moth to a flame.

Now she ached for him as he said he ached for her, but the ache wasn’t new, it was just awoken within her. Tonight she had discovered something about herself, she had found that beneath her quiet exterior and timid face there was a coarseness to her nature that responded passionately to Spike’s vulgar words and open desires. He made her blood quicken and run hot in her veins. It was a violent blood full of urgency and desire and naked pleading for Spike and Spike alone.

“What a way to spend Christmas Eve,” Buffy said with a long sigh linking her arm through Willow’s as they left the library. “But as least we’ll get to exchange presents.”

“Hum,” Willow murmured. Her mind strayed to the sword hidden beneath her bed.

“What about Spike?” Xander asked trailing along behind them with Faith.

Buffy made a face. “What about him?”

“Well, maybe he could help out too.”

“I don’t think so,” Buffy shook her head.

“Why not?” Xander persisted. “He helped stop an apocalypse before; he might help this time too.”

Buffy squirmed inwardly as she always did at the mention of Angelus and Acathla. “We can handle it,” she said shortly. “We don’t need Spike. Besides, I think its probably best that we don’t get attached to Spike, you know, don’t look to rely on him to help us out, besides, I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him.”

“You trusted him before,” Willow pointed out.

“That’s because his girlfriend was a skanky whore and running around with Angelus, Spike wanted her back. The deal we made was all about Drusilla. Without her there was no deal. Spike’s evil, he can’t be trusted, he’d betray us without a seconds thought if it benefited him and you know it.”

“So, what’ll you do when we get Willow’s soul of him?” Faith asked, she was curious about the answer but more than that she knew Willow was concerned about that too, why else would she have bought a sword for Spike.

“He promised that if I let him and Drusilla leave Sunnydale I’d never hear from them again, and yet here he is back in town and causing trouble. I’m not sure leaving the Slayer of Slayer’s to wander around town is a good idea. I’ll do whatever I have to do.”

Willow’s eye’s widened and her stomach cramped in horror. There was no way she was allowing Buffy to hurt Spike, there was no way she would allow anyone to hurt Spike if she could help it. She wasn’t a fighter, she had no power over Buffy or Giles or Angel to ensure Spike’s safety, but she wasn’t completely useless. Her heart hardened against her best friend, if the time ever came that Spike would go up against Buffy then he would be ready for her.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

 

 

It was late, just an hour or two away from dawn when Buffy let herself into Angel’s place. She had of course made sure Willow and Xander got home alright, Faith had gone off to do her own thing, whatever that was, so Buffy had decided to see Angel tonight. Giles had said it could wait until tomorrow and Buffy knew he was right, but she had an almost desperate ache in the pit of her stomach to see Angel, to make sure he was still doing okay. She had nearly lost him and the fear she felt over that still lingered like a sheet of ice over her heart.

 

“Hello, Angel?” Buffy closed the door and headed for the living room.

 

“Buffy?” Angel appeared in the doorway a smile on his face. “What’re you doing here?”

 

Momentarily distracted by that smile, something she didn’t see too often and always caused her heart to leap when she did, Buffy floundered her mind a blank. “Oh,” she cleared her throat blushing slightly. “We’ve got a problem. A big one.”

 

“What is it?” Angel was all business, his smile fading, his eyes turning serious.

 

Buffy sighed inwardly. It would be nice if just for once Angel could at least look like he wanted to say more to her, that he wanted to speak warm, romantic words instead of discussing death and destruction. She caught her lower lip between her teeth for a moment, maybe it was better this way, if he did start making declarations of love she would be lost, even knowing what would follow Buffy wasn’t sure she’d have the willpower to resist him. She severely tested her control whenever he was in sight.

 

“We cleared out a nest tonight, not vamps but some demon cult called The Sisterhood of Jhe.”

 

Angel shook his head once. “Can’t say that I’ve heard of them.”

 

“Oh,” Buffy’s face fell. “Giles thought you might have heard something, you know, from the demon community. He says they want to open the Hellmouth.” Shuddering at the thought Buffy rubbed her hands up and down her arms. “We’re going into deep research mode tomorrow, all of us. There’s something about this that scares me, Angel. I can’t put it into words exactly. But I’ve got a bad feeling. My Spidey senses are telling me this is going to be bad. Like the baddest of all the badness we’ve ever faced.”

 

Placing a hand on her shoulder Angel gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “You’re not on your own, Buffy. We’ll handle it together. I’m here for you. You know that, right?”

 

“I know,” she spoke softly, wet eyes touching his face, drinking him in as though this was the very last time she would see him. “I couldn’t do it without you, Angel. I need you in this.”

 

“I’m here,” he touched her face with cool fingers.

 

“I always need you, Angel.”

 

Maybe as a modern woman she shouldn’t say that to a man and definitely a Vampire Slayer shouldn’t say it to a vampire, but Buffy didn’t care. He was her world, her whole heart and she had not only watched him die but had been the one to kill him. Even having him back, knowing he never once, not even for a second blamed her for what she had done, Buffy still couldn’t get rid of that cold, dark ache inside her knowing she had killed the man she loved. Angel’s death had all but destroyed her and the idea of him not being around, of not being able to see him, talk to him, touch him frightened her more than anything she had faced so far. It even out weighed this dragging, nagging feeling in her gut that this time she was facing something she couldn’t even imagine.

 

There was a fluttering of emotion in his chest, he wanted to say the words she longed to hear but Angel remained silent on the subject. She continued to stare at him her eyes pleading even while she strained to remain strong in the face of the stony wall of silence he presented to her.

 

Angel didn’t quite understand what was happening. It would do no good to speak the words, they could cause only pain, but not speaking them was hurting her even more. Still he said nothing, it was almost as though he couldn’t will himself to form a response, not even in his own head. It was almost as if he refused to give voice to a lie; but it wouldn’t be a lie, would it? This was Buffy. His Buffy. The woman he loved.

 

Still Angel didn’t speak.

 

“I’m here,” he said at last, when the silence between them stretched so tightly he could almost feel it. “I’ll always be here for you, Buffy.”

 

It wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but it would have to be enough. Buffy nodded, “I know that.”

 

“Willy.”

 

“Huh?” Buffy blinked at the abrupt change of subject. She had rather hoped to continue in the same vein and maybe Angel would say what was in his heart, speak the words she longed to hear, words that she could hug close to her heart and cherish.

 

“Spike said that Willy had been beaten up prettily bad. They were demons Willy had never seen before.”

 

“The Sisterhood?”

 

“Probably. I mean, it’s a bit of a coincidence if its something else.”

 

That frightened feeling coursed through Buffy again and she gripped Angel’s arm tightly. She had only just found him again, somehow, somewhere there was someone who had restored him to her and she feared losing him all over again.

 

“Buffy?”

 

“I don’t know how to explain it, but I’ve got this feeling that everything is slipping away from me and I don’t know how to stop it, Angel. I’m scared. I don’t know what to do. I can’t lose you again, I don’t think I can stand it.”

 

Somehow she was in his arms and Angel soothed her with quiet words and gentle hands. “You’ve been so strong for so long, Buffy, you’ve just got to keep on being strong. Your friends look to you for strength, they need you, Buffy, the world needs you. You can do this, you’ve stood so much and you can stand this too. It’s okay to be scared, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, but know in your heart you can beat this like you’ve beat everything else.”

 

“So long as I have you I can do anything,” Buffy whispered into his chest, her breath warm against the thin fabric of his shirt. “I love you. I love you so much, Angel.”

 

“I’m here, Buffy,” he rubbed her back gently lowering his face into her hair. “I’m always here.”

 

It was just a small sound, almost undetectable. Buffy didn’t hear it but he did. Angel glanced up and saw a shadow flitter past the door and a frown marred his forehead. It was just like Spike to earwig on someone’s private moment.

 

XxX

 

It was bad, this Hellmouth thing, if it had the Slayer running to Angel bawling her eyes out. Spike left the mansion making a face at the lovey dovey display he had just witnessed. He had nothing against love and romance in general, but between a Slayer and a vampire! It was sickening, repulsive and just plain wrong on so many levels.

 

“Ponce!”

 

What with Willy’s beating and the Slayer’s tearful display he knew this Sisterhood of Jhe was going to be worse than Angelus and Acthla, it was serious, as in apocalypse serious and Spike had the maddening urge to see Willow and make sure she was alright.

 

He quickened his pace.

 

The lights were off in Willow’s house when Spike arrived so he made his way through the garden to her bedroom, relived to see the buttery light peeking through the curtains. She smiled when she pulled back the curtains in answer to his knock, Spike was quick to note the warm blush on her cheeks and the slight hesitation to let him in, he had to curb the impulse to smirk.

 

Her voice wavered a bit when she spoke. “H…hello, Spike.”

 

“Alright, love?” Spike stepped into her room and closed the windows behind him. Instantly he knew Willow had been using magic, a strange prickling sensation washed over him and the scent of herbs caught his nose. It wasn’t unlike the feeling he’d experience when he had touched her as she wiped Angel’s memory, except this time it wasn’t as strong. “What you been cookin’ up this time, pet?”

 

Willow didn’t ask how he knew she had cast a spell, she was just grateful for the distraction, that he didn’t deem it necessary to bring up their earlier conversation. Not that she felt it could be called a conversation exactly, Spike had done all the talking she had… her face flushed and she swallowed nervously.

 

“Oh, just … ah… just a little protection poultice. Can I, um, can I get you something?”

 

“No, I’m fine.” Spike took a seat in the wicker chair watching as she fussed about the room doing nothing in particular, just straightening the bed clothes and books and desk chair and anything else that came into her line of vision.

 

She was trying not to look at him but Spike couldn’t take his eyes off her. She was ready for bed wearing a little grey tank top with pink piping and a pair of small grey shorts that showed off her long legs to perfection. Spike licked his lips, his eyes tracking their way up those legs from her bare toes to the hem of her shorts. His fingers flexed, they wanted to follow the route his eyes had taken and more.

 

“How’s Angel today? Is he alright?” Willow steeled herself and sat on the edge of the bed tucking one leg beneath her. It was ridiculous not to face him, it would only rouse his curiosity and she’d die right there on the spot if Spike asked her what was wrong, why she didn’t want to look at him.

 

Spike rolled his eyes. “As alright as he’ll ever be I suppose.”

 

“What have you been up to tonight?”

 

“Went to Willy’s. Johnny was there, he asked ‘bout you. Wanted to know when I was takin’ you back there.”

 

“He did? That was nice of him.”

 

“I think he likes you,” he teased lightly and she flushed again.

 

If she was going to have any opportunity of spending Christmas Day, or any day for that matter with Spike, she knew she would need to bring it up without actually asking him outright. Asking was the simple way to do it but a lifetime of disappointment and rejection held her back.

 

“So, do you and Angel have any plans for Christmas?” Willow wasn’t sure if religion played any part in Angel’s life now that he had his soul back, but Angel being Irish and looking at the time frame in which he had been human Willow could hazard a guess his family had probably been Catholic and would have celebrated Christmas.

 

“Plans?” Spike looked incredulous “With Angel? Love, Angel isn’t exactly the right vampire to spend Christmas with.”

 

At her blank expression Spike couldn’t help elaborating. There was a part of him urging himself to keep his trap shut, but that self-sadistic part of himself won out. He just had to see her face when he told her, he had to see if she would turn away from him filled with disgust and disappointment.

 

“Christmas used to be a lot of fun back in the day. There were always carol singers back then comin’ round door to door wailin’ away with their Ding Dong Merrily on High’s and massacring Hark the Herald Angel’s Sing; always been quite partial to that one myself. Anyway, we’d always stand on the doorstep an’ listen all polite like, me an’ Angelus I mean, then we’d invite ‘em in for a little Christmas tipple an’ to find some money to donate to the poor, they were always collectin’ for the bloody poor. Once they were inside all nice an’ snug we’d bar the doors an’ ave our fun, let ‘em try to escape, hunt ‘em through the house, catch ‘em and drain ‘em dry, every last one of ‘em. Their screams were usually more musical than their soddin’ singin’.”

 

Willow let out a heavy sigh giving her head a spare shake. She rather wished she hadn’t asked now. “What a lovely Christmas story.”

 

There was no disgust in her eyes merely a look of resigned patience; Spike grinned in response. “So you see, love, Angel not being the vamp he used to be, well, he ain’t gonna wanna partake in my kinda Christmas cheer.”

 

“I don’t think you’ll find many Christmas carollers in Sunnydale.”

 

“Probably not,” he agreed sinking further into the chair tucking his hands behind his head. “Guess my Christmas Day just blew wide open.” Would she invite him to spend the day with her? She didn’t celebrate the holiday the way her friends did so Spike figured it wasn’t too great a stretch to imagine she was at a loose end on Christmas Day.

 

“You… um… you could always come here,” she offered timidly. “I mean, we could go to Willy’s, you know, if you want?”

 

“Willy’s it is,” Spike said, pleased everything had gone his way without a lot of wangling and manoeuvring on his part.

 

The smile she gave him slipped from her face, her mouth dipping down in the corners. “That’s if we’re still here.”

 

“How’s that?” Of course he knew about this demon cult they were all busy worrying about, but he didn’t want Willow to know he made a habit of eavesdropping on her best friend and her vamp boy toy.

 

“Well, tonight we went to clear out a nest of demons. They’re called The Sisterhood of Jhe and they want to open the Hellmouth. We don’t know when its going to happen, but it will. Giles says more of them will come to take the place of the ones Buffy and Faith killed. The Hellmouth opened before you know, Spike and it wasn’t so great. There’s a demon that almost got out of the Hellmouth that night, the kind of demon that haunts my nightmares. Well, any nightmare that doesn’t involve academic failure or, you know, public nudity. Actually, I had a dream once where I was late for a test and that demon attacked me. Oh, and I was naked.”

Spike waited but she said nothing more, she just sat there looking at him expectantly. “That’s it? That’s your story?”

Willow shrugged. “That was the whole dream. Or well, nightmare. There isn’t any more.”

“But you were naked love, it was just gettin’ good.”

Willow’s cheeks coloured and she looked away from him for a moment to gather herself together. She couldn’t help but cast her mind back to earlier in the evening when they had stood together in the kitchen, she swallowed suddenly short of breath. “A…Anyway, we’re all gathering at the library tomorrow to research. I thought that since you helped Buffy stop the world being sucked into hell before, you’d, well, you know, like to help?”

“Everyone’s gonna be there huh?” Like he wanted to spend the evening watching the wolf dribble and drool all over her, sitting by her and touching her because he could, because he was her boyfriend and was allowed to touch her whenever he pleased. Spike’s jaw clenched his frustration building, it was probably best for his sanity if he didn’t think along those lines, but he always had felt things deeply and jealousy was no exception.

 

She nodded. “Everyone. Well, except Cordeila because she’s in Aspen.”

 

Spike had known it was going to be bad and he had no intention of letting Willow face it alone. Sure the wolf would be there, but what experience did he have of fighting demons? He could hardly protect Willow from the kind of nasties the Hellmouth would spit out. He didn’t want anything to happen to her and not just because of this wretched soul business either. He simply wanted her to be safe and he was just the vamp to keep her that way. Besides, he hadn’t exactly lied to the Slayer last year, he did like this world just as it was and had no desire to see it sucked into hell by Angelus or any other demon.

 

As he sat there watching her watching him a cold finger of fear touched the back of Spike’s neck. If this world went to hell someone as innocent and pure as Willow would be the first to discover what a living hell was really like. The things a demon could do to her, the pain she would suffer; he couldn’t and wouldn’t allow that to happen to her.

 

Spike didn’t voice his concerns; there was no point in frightening her by speaking of possibilities and maybes. She was better off living in ignorance for as long as possible. If all went according to plan and the Slayer thwarted this Sisterhood as she had him and Angelus in the past then Willow need never know about any of it.

 

“So, the world is gonna end an’ you thought old Spike would throw in with the good guys, huh?”

 

“You did before; it’s not so strange to think you would again.”

 

“Well, I guess I could help, like I told the Slayer, I like this world the way it is. Count me in, pet.” It was worth it to see the smile on her face, to know he was the cause of it. “I suppose the Mighty Brooding One will be there too playing at Knight in Shining Armor,” Spike snorted. “All he needs is a noble steed an’ he’s all set.”

 

She laughed at the mental picture he drew.

 

“Oh!” Willow sat up a little straighter her eyes shining with excitement. “I did the spell again, the cloaking spell, and it worked just the way it was supposed to. It gave Buffy and Faith the added advantage they needed to clear the nest. Faith said they were lucky I was there.”

 

It was obvious the praise from her friend meant a lot to her, she craved acceptance and approval like a drug. It saddened Spike that she couldn’t see her own worth and relied on others for it. “I bet they were, pet. If I was in a tight spot I’d want your power in my corner. ‘M proud of you, love.”

 

That smile came again and Spike thought he might start to crave _that_ like a drug if he wasn’t careful.

 

The smile left her face and a frown creased her forehead as she worried her lower lip. She might be able to levitate now and alter memories and her cloaking spell had worked just fine, but even with Buffy and Faith there she had been frightened tonight just as she had been frightened every other time she’d faced something at Buffy’s side. If they didn’t work out how to stop The Sisterhood of Jhe from opening the Hellmouth there was literally going to be hell on earth, not that she would see it, Willow figured that she and her friends would be the first ones to die being right there at the opening of the Hellmouth.

 

Death still frightened her, but more than that was the fear of failing. Willow was willing to give up her life if it meant the world still turned as it should. Even coming to terms with this she still found that in a life and death situation she was scared and she couldn’t help worrying that she would let that fear overtake her at a crucial moment and ruin everything they had worked so hard to protect.

 

“Penny for ‘em, love?”

 

There was worry in her eyes, despondency in her face and Spike wanted to take them both away. He wanted to sooth her and protect her and be the one she looked to for everything she could ever need from another person.

 

“I know how bad it could get, Spike. If everything goes wrong I know what’ll come out of the Hellmouth, I’ve already had a glimpse of it and it’s scary. What if I get too scared to help Buffy when she needs me? The Sisterhood will probably use magic to open the Hellmouth and we’ll need magic to close it again. I don’t know for sure I’m just guessing, but if I’m right I’ll have to do a spell, what if it goes wrong again? What if I can’t do it? What if I get so scared I can’t help Buffy?” she let out a small laugh and shook her head. “You probably don’t get scared, do you, Spike?”

 

“Everyone gets scared, pet, an’ anyone who says different is lyin’. What you gotta do is take that fear an’ make it work for you. You gotta let it fuel you an’ drive you. Fear can be a powerful force.”

 

Getting to his feet Spike crossed the room to sit beside her a smile curling his lips when her hand reached for his, her fingers twining with his. “Take me, I’ve fought two Slayer’s an’ too many vamps an’ demons to count. I go into each fight an’ fight like it’s my last ‘cos you never know when it will be.”

 

She sucked in a sharp breath and went so white her eyes looked luminous. Spike thought she might throw up or faint. Her fingers tightened their grip on his hand, nails digging into his skin leaving little crescent moons behind. “Love? Willow? You alright?”

 

Spike dead? Willow felt sick, a hard lump formed in her throat and she found it difficult to breathe. Somehow, even when she had imagined the world had gone to hell, in her head Spike was still standing. If everyone else in the world had to fight for their lives, scrabble for survival, die slow agonising deaths; somehow Spike would be alright, he had to be, Spike could survive anything the world or hell could throw at him.

 

“I’m fine, Spike.” Her reply was almost a wheeze and Willow was thankful Spike didn’t comment on it.

 

He peered at her closely. Could it be? Could she really care what happened to him? Could he dare believe that the thought of his death could bring that kind of reaction out in her? Spike closed his eyes and sighed inwardly, as much as he would like to believe that was true his fragile ego wouldn’t allow it.

 

“I don’t think I’d be half as scared if you were there. You’re so strong, Spike, nothing ever fazes you,” Willow let out a little wistful sigh. “I wish I could be that brave.”

 

“You don’t ‘ave to worry ‘bout the Hellmouth, pet. I won’t let anythin’ ‘appen to you.”

 

The lump was back in her throat and this time it threatened to bring tears with it; carefully she untangled their fingers. Spike could feel her withdrawing from him and he didn’t understand it. She hadn’t withdrawn from him earlier, when he had talked her to orgasm she had been very much a part of it. He caught her wrist hoping to keep her near, stop her rising from beside him. The soft caress of her skin caused him to tighten his grip for a moment and her pulse thundered against his fingertips.

 

Spike took a discreet sniff; confusion, fright and desire tickled his nose. Thoughts of manoeuvring her onto her back where he could press up against her lit Spike’s imagination and he drifted off for a few moments as he let those thoughts play out.

 

Willow understood what Spike meant, she understood his need to keep her safe. It hurt that it grew from his desire to be rid of her and leave Sunnydale rather than his desire to be with her and stay in Sunnydale with her. Spike might want her on a physical level, he had already said as much, but it was only a shadow of the wanting she dealt with when it came to him.

 

In that moment Willow fully realised the depths of her feelings where Spike was concerned. She wanted all of him; his mind, his heart, his body; all of him. She wanted to look into his eyes and know instantly what he was thinking, she wanted to look at his face and know what he was feeling, she wanted to hear him speak and know exactly what he meant without any explanation; and the guilt was starting to taint every thought she had about him.

 

She just couldn’t understand what was wrong with her. Willow had always thought of herself as the steady one, the sensible one. She wasn’t flighty not by a long shot and her feelings, once she felt something, were nice and solid; reliable almost. She had never jumped from one crush to another the way other girls did doodling names on their notebooks only to scribble them out and replace them with another the following month. It had always been Xander for her, until she met Oz.

 

Willow’s lips pursed in thought and Spike’s mind ran wild as he imagined those lips against his own, touching his bare skin, wrapped around his cock and his body tightened with desire.

 

It wasn’t true to say that her feelings for Xander had gone when she met Oz, even Oz had called her on it last year accusing her of wanting to kiss him merely to make Xander jealous. He had been right at the time, but when she had kissed Oz that first time it had been all about Oz. She had been kissing him as he had been kissing her and Xander hadn’t entered into it; at least not then.

 

She wasn’t sure what had changed between her and Xander before Spike returned to Sunnydale, but they’d been having all kinds of lustful feelings for each other and she would have ended her relationship with Oz as much as she cared about him to be with Xander. It was Xander, she had loved him all her life, but somehow even knowing she still had those Xander feelings she hadn’t felt all that guilty about being with Oz. She had been happy and wasn’t she entitled to some happiness? Xander had Cordelia, didn’t she deserve someone too?

 

Spike shifted his legs apart to ease the pressure on his growing erection. His forehead wrinkled, could he at least talk them both to a relatively satisfying climax as he had previously done? He had taken her by surprise earlier, hell, he had taken himself by surprise, but would she allow it a second time or would she order him out of the house?

 

She was with Oz, someone who cared about her and she cared about him, but Willow couldn’t stop thinking about Spike in ways she simply didn’t think about Oz. What she and Oz had was good, it worked for them, they had a loving, stable relationship there was nothing more he could give her or she to him. Oz was her friend as well as her boyfriend, it was something they both wanted, to be friends first and foremost, the rest would all fall into place when it was ready to and neither of them felt the need to rush their relationship into something it wasn’t quite ready for.

 

But she _wanted_ Spike.

 

Was she destined to forever be the grass is always greener girl? Was she never going to be happy with what she had?

 

A treacherous yet honest little voice piped up telling her she’d be happy with Spike.

 

Her heart thumped, almost in agreement.

 

Willow came back to herself, dragging herself out of her confusing thoughts. Tucking her hair behind her ear she let out a little sigh as she turned slightly towards Spike. Her eyes drifted innocently downwards for a moment and she froze.

 

Spike felt the heat of her stare on his cock. His body pulsed with a desire to unbutton his jeans and offer himself to her.

 

Face flaming red to the roots of her hair down to her chest Willow jerked back looking to scramble off the bed and put some distance between them where she could perhaps get a clear thought in her head.

 

Spike caught her free hand holding her still. “Easy, love.”

 

Fire spread through every cell in his body, igniting a need he hadn’t experienced in years. Her sweet scent teased him and he shifted closer feeling the heat radiating from her skin, warming him right down to his toes.

 

Willow was startled when Spike leant even closer to her and then simply pressed his cheek against hers. She stayed very still, not adverse to the contact but unsure as to what it meant or what he wanted her to do. She heard him sigh quietly, it was odd not feeling his breath against her skin.

 

If she asked him what he thought he was doing Spike couldn’t have given her an answer as he wasn’t too sure himself. He closed his eyes absorbing the warmth of her cheek against his and the tantalising scent of her in his nose. He wanted her, he wanted everything she would give him and more; he knew he had no right to ask it of her but he was selfish enough to want it anyway.

 

“Spike?” her voice quavered but washed over him like a caress and Spike sighed again.

 

“You’re so warm.”

 

Willow blinked, she wasn’t sure exactly what she had been expecting him to say but that hadn’t been it. “Oh.”

 

He smiled at the surprise in her tone. He let his hands uncurl from her wrists and run up her arms. “And soft. So warm and soft you are, pet.”

 

His hands reached her shoulders his palms moulding to the shape of her, squeezing lightly, memorising her. Exploring fingers sought out her pulse, feeling the rapid fluttering at her throat and crept up further until his fingertips touched her lips, caressing gently, coaxing them apart and dipping in to touch the damp cushion of her lower lip.

 

“Warm and soft and…..” he paused, his cheek rubbing absently against hers. Spike inhaled and let out a soft moan “….and wet.”

 

Her breath caught in her throat her face heating up.

 

Spike smiled as her cheek burnt beneath his. Curling his arms around her he held her tightly rocking back and forth for a few moments before pressing her back to the bed. He half expected her to push him away, but she didn’t.

 

Untucking her one leg from beneath her Willow’s frazzled mind tried to catch up to her body. She could feel the rough denim of Spike’s jeans between her knees as he pressed his leg between hers, slowly coaxing her legs apart. She swallowed, her fingers flexing over his shoulders. That was a surprise, Willow didn’t even remember grabbing hold of him.

 

“Oh!”

 

Spike smiled again, he kept his cheek against hers half afraid of his reaction if he looked at her and saw in her eyes what he knew would be in his. “Don’t be afraid, pet,” he rocked his hip against her thigh, pressing the hard ridge of his erection into the soft skin.

 

Cupping her other cheek Spike let his thumb explore her face, smoothing the soft arch of her eyebrows, stroking along the tender skin beneath her eye; her eyelashes fluttered against the pad of this thumb as her eyes closed and a little sigh escaped her lips. Trailing his thumb along the side of her nose he dropped his fingers to fan out against her neck as he traced the firm line of her jaw. Back and forth his thumb went in an almost soothing motion and Willow’s body relaxed that little bit more.

 

“Feel me, love. Feel me against you.” Spike shifted to allow his body to stretch out against her as best he could without crowding her. He stayed beside her and made no attempt to cover her body with his own, that would only spell trouble, the kind of trouble she wasn’t quite ready for, and he hated to admit it even to himself, but Spike wasn’t sure he was quite ready for it either.

 

Willow shivered, she had an odd feeling of fullness in her breasts, a tingling between her thighs and a hypersensitivity to everything about him to the point where she would swear she felt every cell in his body against her own.

 

Spike felt her grip on his shoulders ease and wondered just what she planned on doing next. Her fingers brushed the back of his neck making him shiver and then they sank into his hair. It was softer than Willow thought it would be, spreading through her fingers like richly spun silk.

 

“I felt you all night, pet. Felt you in my bones, I did. Did you feel me? Did you feel me inside you?”

 

There was a catch in her throat and her fingers tightened in his hair. Spike smiled.

 

It were almost as though she were compelled to answer and the thought of denying the truth never crossed her mind. “Y…yes,” she whispered, he shivered again at the sensation of her warm breath on his neck.

 

His fingers wandered back across her face to stroke lightly at the seam of her lips until they parted with a soft sigh.

 

“That’s my girl,” he murmured his approval. “You’ve got beautiful legs, pet, did you know that? Wanna… no, not want, _need,_ I need to be between ‘em, love. Need to feel you where you’re really warm,” his index finger traced the crisp bow of her upper lip. “And soft,” he followed her lower lip from corner to corner, “and wet,” his finger dipped into her mouth again.

 

“If I stroked you like this,” his finger moved continuously along her bottom lip, light, teasing strokes that made her breath quicken. “Would your cunt open for me the way your lips do?”

 

She made that sound again, the one that had played in his head over and over again all night; that mix of shock and desire. Spike’s body burnt in response and a little growl vibrated in his throat.

 

“Want you to touch me too, love. Wanna feel your hand on my cock, get me all nice an’ warm. Can you feel me, love? Feel me all hard in your palm?”

 

Willow whimpered, her fingers clutching at his skull needing to feel something other than the softness of his hair in her hands.

 

“If I touched you like this,” he dipped his finger into her mouth. “If I slid my fingers inside you would your cunt be just as wet for me? I’d be wet for you, like now, my cock’s weepin’ for you, pet.”

 

Her tongue pressed up, brushing against his finger as it retreated from her mouth and Spike paused, held himself still, waiting.

 

She was unsure what he was waiting for, but repeated the action, just to see if it was that.

 

There was a strangled sound in the back of his throat before he spoke again. “Would you do that for me, love? Do you wanna taste me the way I wanna taste you?” He didn’t expect her to answer, especially with his finger still in her mouth, but she nodded, her cheek brushing along his stained with a hot blush.

 

Heat sizzled through him as Spike dropped his head into the crook of her neck with a groan. There was so much he wanted from her, so much he needed to give her, but the timing wasn’t right. When she was with him there would be no guilt afterwards and Willow he knew, would feel guilty about the wolf. There was only ever going to be two in his bed, just him and her. He’d lived with three before, him and Dru and the ghost of Angelus. There would be no more ghosts in his bed.

 

A light kiss slid over her neck as Spike raised his head. “Want you pet, want you so bloody much.” His lips brushed across her cheek like a whisper all light and feathery soft. “Wanna fuck you, baby, wanna make love to you, not just with my cock, but with my…” he hovered over her the warmth of her breath fluttering against his lips. “… with my…” he couldn’t think straight any more, not when she was making that little whimpering sound of longing. “…. With my….mouth ….” Spike gave in and dropped his mouth to hers.

 

Her reaction was instantaneous. Willow’s entire body surged towards him, her thigh pushing against his straining cock, the soft flesh between her thighs pressing into his leg the damp heat obvious to him even though the thickness of his jeans; it was like a sensory overload and with a groan, for the second time that night Spike spilled himself inside his jeans.

 

Willow’s hands fisted in his leather duster, Spike could feel the material straining against his shoulders. She gave a quiet cry, her lips parting as she reached her climax against his thigh.

 

Spike murmured soothingly, smoothing her hair back from her face. Trailing tiny kisses along her jaw he sought to ease her and stop any embarrassment before it could rear its head.

 

Once she had calmed, before she had time to think of anything at all, Spike kissed her again. It was a deep, soul- searing kiss and Willow’s toes curled against the bed. He didn’t just kiss her, he seduced her mouth with soft, gentle strokes of his tongue that grew bolder and stronger. He explored her thoroughly, withdrawing to suck lightly on her bottom lip as she caught her breath before claiming her mouth once more and exploring her again, as though he hadn’t already touched every part of her mouth with slow, sensual flicks of his tongue.

 

Finally he broke away from her completely, sitting up and running a hand through his hair. “Sunrise isn’t far away, I’ve got to get back to Angel’s place.”

 

The dreamy expression dissolved and a worried look crossed her face. Her eyes went straight to the clock beside her bed, Spike’s chest tightened. “I’ll make it in time,” he assured her.

 

“You… um,” Willow cleared her throat and attempted to sound practical and reasonable. “You don’t need to risk it, Spike. The spare room is yours if you want it.”

 

“The risk isn’t gettin back before dawn,” he gave her a pointed look and stood up. “Thanks for the offer, love, but I’d better go. I need to go.”

 

A curious look came over her face, but she didn’t question him, if anything Willow was rather glad he was leaving. She didn’t trust herself to have him just the other side of the wall and leave him there. It was better this way, she really didn’t want to do any more to betray Oz than she already had.

 

“Oh, right, well, um, good night, Spike.” It was better to get him out of the house as quickly as possible or she was in danger of making a complete fool of herself by begging him to stay with her.

 

Spike was a bit put out that she was obviously so willing to let him leave and the offer of the spare room didn’t do much to improve his mood either. However, he felt he knew enough about her to hazard a guess as to what she was thinking, and he had the feeling the wolf was intruding into their time together.

 

He knew he was right by the way she was suddenly worrying at her lower lip, the frown lines that had appeared in her forehead and the guilt reflected in her eyes.  

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Research, you know, to stop the end of the world.”

 

“Oh, yes. Right. The end of the world.”

 

His mood lightened considerably, if he could make her forget the end of the world he could make her forget the wolf too.

 

“I’ll come an’ get you as soon as its dark.”

 

“Yes alright. I’ll see you then.” She had been planning on going to the library first thing in the morning and staying all day, but Willow figured she could make an excuse to be home for dusk to meet Spike, it wasn’t as if she wasn’t going to go back to the library afterwards.

 

He touched her face with gentle fingers and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead his eyes closing as he did so. “Sweet dreams, baby.”

 

Then he was gone, sliding through the window with a backward glance and disappearing into the shadows. Willow stood by the open window staring after him feeling strangely bereft.


	22. chapter 22

Chapter 22

They had exchanged Christmas presents that morning, Giles had been delighted with his Dickens books, but it hadn’t been the same as other Christmas Eve’s. There was no fun and laughter this time, merely a going through the motions and quiet thanks and hugs that went on longer than was necessary.

The end of the world was looming and they couldn’t shut it out not even for a moment.

The library was ablaze with lights, the sun sinking outside the window casting the town in ever deepening shadows. Somehow the darkness seemed more sinister now than it ever had before as they all wondered if this was the last sunset they would ever see.

“I have all the necessary ingredients for a binding spell, I thought perhaps if the Hellmouth did open we could try and bind the demons to it,” Giles said taking a sip of tea.

“Will that work?” Buffy asked.

Giles let out a long sigh. “I don’t know. I really don’t.”

Willow caught her bottom lip between her teeth. Now the guilt wasn’t just tickling at her or pricking her conscious, it was crashing over her like a rogue wave. “I, um, I could do a protection spell,” she offered. She should have given them all a protection poultice for Christmas, but she hadn’t.

“Good idea, Wills,” Xander nodded his approval. “We need all the help we can get, right?”

“Indeed,” Giles agreed. “If you think you can manage it, Willow?”

“Oh sure. No problem-o. I’ll have to go to the magic shop to collect some ingredients but I can manage it, no worries.”

Buffy clicked her tongue against her teeth. “Maybe I should go to Willy’s? Angel told me that Spike said Willy had been beaten up pretty badly. I didn’t go to see him last night but I should have. I’ll go now,” she stood up the chair legs scraping along the floor making Giles wince. “I can’t just sit here and do nothing. Are you coming, Faith?”

Faith had arrived around midmorning. She had quietly settled down beside Willow to share in the research even though every part of her was screaming to go out and slay something.

“I was going to ask Faith to come with me,” Willow said. “You know, for protection.”

Buffy’s face tightened a fraction but she forced a smile to her face, now was not the time for petty Faith’s-stealing-my-friend feelings; but they were there nonetheless.

“Sure, Red,” Faith nodded. “I’ll go with you.” She had stopped by Willow’s house on the way to the school and left her present around the back of the house. The idea of giving her gift to Willow at the library in front of everyone made her uncomfortable, she was still new at this friend thing.

Willow was just pulling on her jacket when Oz came through the door. “Hi,” she smiled, “You’re a little late.”

“Hum,” Giles glanced up from his book. “Cutting it a little fine aren’t you?”

“You know me.” He smiled at Willow accepting the hug she gave him. She squeezed him tightly, a little too tightly Oz thought but he didn’t comment, just as he didn’t comment on the lingering scent of Spike that clung to her person like perfume.

Experimentally Oz kissed her cheek. Willow didn’t pull away from him but she didn’t encourage him either. There was no sliding of arms around his neck, no playing with the hair at his nape, no shy meeting of lips, just a light, gentle hold as she continued to hug him.

Stepping back from her Oz went into the book cage. Pulling the door shut he caught Willow’s scent on the privacy towels already in place, he knew she had put them there tonight for even on the towels he could smell the faintest trace of Spike. Shrugging off his jacket Oz watched her as she locked the door and set the key aside, Willow was drifting away from him, Oz could feel it.

“Ready, Faith?”

“Let’s roll, Red.”

Willow waved to Oz and he smiled and waved back before bending to remove his shoes and socks. He had the strangest feeling that it wasn’t just him, that Willow was drifting away from all of them and if they didn’t do something quick smart they were going to lose her.

“Well,” Buffy said when they stood on the front steps of the school. “I’ll see you guys later.”

“Be careful, Buff,” Willow gave her friend an anxious look. “If Willy’s clients are beating him up you don’t know what you’re going to walk in on.”

“Yeah, watch your back, B.”

“Got it,” Buffy grinned. “Super careful gal coming right up.”

“See you later, Buff.”

“I’ll meet you back here in about an hour,” Buffy suggested checking her watch. “If anything happens, let Faith handle it.”

Willow could read the stress on Buffy’s face, the worry in her voice evident and she quickly nodded her agreement. She was perfectly willing to step back and let the Slayer slay if she and Faith ran into any trouble.

They parted, Willow and Faith went one way and Buffy the other. She kept glancing over her shoulder as she walked away and couldn’t help feeling more than a little hurt that Willow didn’t look back even once. She didn’t expect Faith to be overly worried about her after all Faith could take care of herself and knew that she could too, but Willow was her friend and Buffy had expected her to be a little more concerned than she was.

That nagging, dragging feeling in her gut came again silently telling her all was not right, that she was going to lose everything that was important to her. She had a sudden fierce urge to see Angel, but Buffy managed to curb the impulse to run to him and hold him and feel the strength of his arms about her. She had a world to save, romance would just have to wait.

Buffy crossed her fingers that she would still be around for some romance after this was all over.

XxX

Willow had been forced to wake the owners of the magic shop, this late on Christmas Eve they had shut up for the holidays, but they knew Willow and understood that anytime she came knocking on the door it was best all round to accommodate her and provide her with anything she requested.

Faith had stood silently in the background watching. Willow was in her comfort zone where magic was concerned, she knew what she was asking for, knew what she needed and she made her transactions with the minimum of fuss but a lot of apologising for turning up this late on Christmas Eve.

“Can we go back to my place?”

“Yeah if you like. But I thought we needed to get this stuff back to Giles?”

Willow rolled her shoulders. “I haven’t given you your present yet, with the end of the world looming it threw off all my plans to play Santa and deliver them to you.”

Faith grinned. “You’d think an apocalyptic cult would be more considerate.”

“You’d think, after all, they want to end the world, it’s only fair they give us time to sort our affairs out.”

Faith laughed, but her eyes remained serious. “Do you think this spell Giles wants to do will help?”

“I don’t know,” Willow admitted. “But it can’t hurt, can it?”

“Guess not, the Hellmouth is opening, guess it doesn’t get much worse than that.”

“Nope, pretty much the biggest, scariest, evilest thing that could happen. I think with two Slayers and two vampire’s as old as Spike and Angel we should do alright.” Willow tried for chipper but didn’t quite make it. Faith didn’t call her on it content to pretend as much as Willow was.

Faith explained about her gift when they arrived at Willow’s and she went around the back to collect it while Willow opened the door and went inside. She had her gifts for Faith, Oz and Spike set out neatly along the wall in the living room. She had been rather pleased to find an old box in the garage which did very well to house Spike’s sword.

Setting her purchases on the coffee table Willow went through them all again muttering to herself as she mentally ticked off all the ingredients and components she needed for both the protection and binding spells, the last thing she wanted was to discover she was short of something when she started to perform the spell. She had let her friends down enough as it was by failing to make them their own individual poultice.

“Here you go,” Faith came into the living room a small gift bag in her hand. “Happy… whatever,” she rolled her shoulders and grinned.

“Thanks, Faith. Here,” Willow handed her a bag. “Happy… End of the World?”

Faith nodded once. “Good enough reason to have presents as any.” She sat down in the easy chair. “You given Spike his sword yet?”

“No not yet, he’s coming here as soon as its dark, he can have it then.”

“Ah,” Faith winked, “Now I get why you wanted to come here.”

Willow smiled but didn’t reply, instead she dug into her gift bag her interest at an all-time high as she wondered what Faith could have picked out for her. Magic supplies, nothing fancy, just some candles and popular herbs and spices she could use for a multitude of spells and charms. Willow beamed, it was the type of present that she would have asked for, something she appreciated and had a genuine use for, not something that Buffy felt she should like or would be good for her. She loved Buffy but sometimes her gifts left a lot to be desired. The one saving grace was that Buffy’s heart, if sometimes misguided, was always in the right place.

“Thanks, Faith these are great!”

“And this is a nice… pouch,” Faith said examining the small black velvet pouch which formed part of her gift.

Willow laughed. “It’s a protection poultice.”

To say she was surprised was an understatement. Faith hadn’t been sure what to expect when Willow said she had gotten her a Christmas gift. Willow was difficult to gauge these days; sometimes she was all awkward and goody-goody as she had been when Faith first knew her and other days she was exactly the sort of person Faith enjoyed hanging out with, easy, relaxed and up for breaking the rules if it got her what she wanted. Faith rubbed at the back of her neck. “I don’t think “thanks” really covers it.”

“It’ll come in handy, huh?”

“Yeah,” Faith let out a snort of laughter. “Yeah it will.”

“Don’t forget the other ones,” Willow gestured to the bag.

There were bottles of nail polish in plum, crimson and black and a bracelet corded in red, gold, green and grey. Turning it over in her fingers Faith traced the intricate design with her eyes before looking up at Willow.

“It’s a friendship bracelet,” Willow leant forward on her knees from where she sat on the edge of the sofa. “The red symbolizes the essence of life and living with emphasis on survival. The gold symbolizes good health and success. The green offers protection from fear and anxiety and the grey is a symbol of friendship. I put a blessing on it for you too.”

“What kind of blessing?”

“A blessing for good health and balance of life.”

Faith offered the bracelet and her wrist to Willow and Willow tied the bracelet securely, pleased that Faith was willing to wear it and straightaway.

“Think it’ll keep me all safe and sound?”

“I don’t know,” Willow admitted. “I’m not sure exactly how it works, the blessing or the poultice, but its better than nothing, right?”

“Right. Well, I guess I’d better get this other stuff over to the library and make myself scarce,” she grinned wickedly. “Three’s a crowd and all that.”

“Things are… moving along,” Willow said slowly, unsure exactly how to describe the new status of her relationship with Spike.

“Oh?” Interest lighted her eyes turning them even darker. “You gettin’ your naughty on with Spike? Come on, Red, spill it.”

Willow considered the question and nodded once a thoughtful look on her face. “In a way. We haven’t… you know,” she paused and frowned up at Faith. “You do know, don’t you?”

Faith laughed. “You haven’t screwed, I get it, Red.”

“Spike he… well, he um, he wants to,” Willow said her fingers picking at her jeans, her eyes cast down with embarrassment.

“I’d have bet good money on that,” Faith laughed again. “He’s a guy and he’s a vamp, it can’t be a surprise he’d wanna …”

“No,” Willow interrupted quickly. “I know he’s done it before, of course he has, Spike wanting that isn’t a surprise. I’m just surprised that he would want to do that with me.”

“What? Why?” Faith’s forehead creased with confusion.

Willow shrugged. “It’s just me. Why would someone like Spike want what no-one else has?”

“Xander sure did a number on you, didn’t he?” Faith leant forward clasping her hands between her knees.

“Xander?”

“Just because he didn’t see what was right under his nose doesn’t mean someone else won’t see it. It doesn’t mean that Spike doesn’t see it.” Her anger came out without her meaning it to. She understood the feelings of rejection and loneliness. She understood what it was like to feel inadequate and uncertain; she saw her younger pre-Slayer self in Willow sometimes and it both angered and depressed her.  

Willow supposed there was some sense and logic in Faith’s words, they still didn’t banish the surprise where Spike’s feelings were concerned, but it was nice to hear Faith’s vote of confidence.

“It’s just, well, I know we’ve had this conversation before, but what if it’s just my soul coming back together and Spike doesn’t really feel those things for me? When we find a way to undo what I’ve done he’ll go away and I’ll be left with a broken heart all over again.”

Faith didn’t get the chance to respond, a knock came at the door and her Slayer senses went off alerting her a vampire was near. She figured it was Spike.

“I’ll get it,” Faith gathered up Willow’s bag of magic supplies. “I’ll get these over to Giles. See you later, Red.”

“Be careful, Faith, it’s dark now.”

Faith held up her wrist and flashed her bracelet. “I’ll be fine thanks to you,” she patted the pocket of her jacket. “Got my pouch too.”

“Poultice,” Willow corrected automatically and Faith sniggered.

Faith threw open the door. “She’s in there,” she jerked her thumb over her shoulder. “See you later.”

Shutting the door behind her Spike made his way into the living room where Willow still sat. The clouds disappeared from her eyes when she saw him standing in the doorway and she smiled.

“Alright, love?”

“Spike,” she jumped up and went to the far wall to collect his gift. “Here, I got you something. Merry Christmas,” she said shyly offering him a brightly wrapped box.

Startled, Spike took the long box from her. He simply held it for a moment trying to get his head around the fact she had given him a Christmas present. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t had Christmas gifts over the years for he had. Probably not the same sort of thing as he would find beneath this silver and gold paper, but Christmas presents nonetheless.

“You didn’t ‘ave to do this, pet.”

Willow’s shoulders rolled and her lips turned up into a tentative smile. “I wanted to.”

Taking a seat on the sofa where she could sit next to him Spike opened his gift the gears in his head working overtime as he tried to imagine what Willow could have seen to bring him to mind. Spike couldn’t deny that he was thrilled she thought about him when he wasn’t around, that was the best gift he could get.

The sword rested amongst pale blue tissue paper, Spike stared at it unsure what to think of this strange gift. Why was the Slayer’s best friend arming him? It was a nice sword, he’d used and owned a fair few over the years and Spike knew a good sword when he saw one.

Willow shifted her weight from one foot to the other her nervousness increasing the longer he remained silent. She couldn’t understand where she had gone wrong, he was a vampire, he enjoyed violence and weapons. Wasn’t the sword a pretty perfect gift for him?

“I… I thought that… that it would be, you know, good, for you to have your own weapon. Angel has his stuff and Buffy has her weapons and you didn’t have anything. I thought that… well… I thought…” Willow trailed off, it clearly didn’t matter what she had thought, she had obviously made a mistake and a big one if his silence was anything to go by.

Hurt and humiliated, tears stung her eyes and Willow swallowed past the tight lump in her throat.

“It’s great, love,” Spike assured her, finding his voice at last. She was upset, he had upset her Spike could tell, not just by the look on her face but by the beautiful wet green eyes that darted away from his face as soon as he looked up. “Couldn’t ‘ave found a better sword myself.”

“Really?”

Placing the box on the coffee table he crossed the room and touched her face with gentle fingers. “Really. You took me by surprise is all. I didn’t expect anythin’ from you an’ ‘en you give me this. It’s a bloody brilliant gift, pet.”

“There’s something else too,” she made a small gesture towards the box.

“There is?” Dropping his hand from her face Spike caught her fingers and pulled her with him to the sofa. He dug about in the tissue paper until he found a small black velvet pouch. The moment he touched it that prickling sensation Spike now associated with Willow’s magic rippled over his skin. “What is it, pet?”

“It’s a protection poultice. You have to keep it on you all the time. You will, won’t you, Spike? You won’t go anywhere without it, will you?”

Spike pocketed the pouch. “I’ll keep it with me all the time.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.” He was touched, more moved than he had been in a long time that she would do this for him. There was a sudden tightening of his stomach as realisation slammed through him; Willow cared about him. It was more than a physical attraction, she wouldn’t go to all this trouble if her interest in him was only skin deep.

Picking up her hand Spike brought it to his mouth kissing her fingers and her palm. She had lovely hands, soft and slender with a delicate looking wrist. He couldn’t resist and brushed his lips along her wrist to her pulse his eyes closing to better absorb the fluttering sensation against his lips.

“You’re not the only one with surprises tonight.” Dipping a hand into the pocket of his leather duster Spike produced a red box and handed it to her reluctantly releasing her hand to allow her to open it. “I thought you might like it.”

Willow’s eyes widened a fraction, her fingers smoothing over the soft velvet covering. She let out a long breath her eyes widening even more when she opened the box to find an emerald pendant sitting sedately against the black satin backdrop. “Spike,” she breathed, lifting the pendant up by its delicate gold chain.

“Fancy it then, pet?”

“It’s beautiful.”

Brushing his knuckles along her jaw Spike carefully cupped her face in his palm his thumb rubbing along her lower lip. “Pales in luster beside your eyes.”

Dear God but he was a ponce! He’d start spouting that bloody awful poetry William the sodding milksop had written if he wasn’t careful. Instead of the look of boredom and resignation Cecily had worn when he had delivered his carefully and lovingly written words of adoration to her, Willow looked stunned, disbelieving, but still pleased at his words.

Willow lowered her eyes, he was staring at her so intently he made her nervous. “Will you put it on for me?”

“’Course I will, love. Turn around an’ let me see.” Spike settled the necklace around her throat a smile touching his lips when her fingers smoothed the cool stone against her chest. “Suits you, love.”

“It’s lovely, Spike. Thank you.” Her chin lowered to her chest where she could look down and see the effect of the emerald in its gold setting against her skin.

“Welcome, pet. ‘M glad you like it. You probably won’t want to wear it tonight, I’ll understand if you want to take it off.”

Fingers curling tightly around the pendant she stared at him baffled. “Why would I want to take it off?”

“I figured it would be a bit too much to explain to your little friends. I figured they wouldn’t take it well, me givin’ you a present an’ what all.”

Willow frowned. Spike was probably right and that annoyed her. It was nobody’s business but hers who she exchanged gifts with and the pendant was just too beautiful to hide away in a drawer in her bedroom. “There’s nothing to explain. I love it and I’m not taking if off. I’ll never take it off,” she added in a sudden burst of passion.

His eyes found hers. “Promise?”

She felt breathless all of a sudden. “I promise.”

 

XxX

 

When Willow and Spike arrived at the library everyone was there and the place was in an uproar. Giles had been waiting for her the top buttons of his shirt undone and his hair rumpled. Willow stared at him slack jawed, Giles was always so neat and put together even when he was harassed. It threw her to see him in any kind of mess.

“There you are, good,” Giles caught hold of her arm propelling her into the room. “Are you sure you feel able enough to perform both a binding spell and a protection spell?”

“Yes,” Willow assured him glancing at Oz who was now all wolf-y and pacing in his confined cage. He growled and head butted the door as she passed by his eyes fixed on her and Willow had the uneasy feeling that wolf Oz could sense her betrayal much more keenly than human Oz could.

“It’s tonight,” Buffy said leaving Angel’s side and bouncing next to Willow. “Willy said that its tonight.”

“Tonight?” Willow stopped walking causing Giles to lose him momentum and stumble a little bit. “Are you sure?”

“We’re sure,” Angel spoke up, he was leaning against the counter an axe in his hand and his eyes flittering from Buffy to Spike as though he were unsure which of them needed watching more; Buffy for protection or Spike for general evilness and mischief.

“But tonight is so soon,” Willow turned anxious eyes to Giles. “Are we prepared?”

“As much as we can be,” Giles assured her with a strained smile. “Now, as you can see I’ve drawn the circle here on the floor for you to work in.”

“I’ve got your magic stuff right here,” Faith swung the bag from the tips of her fingers. “Make with the voodoo, Red.”

Oz growled again and threw himself at the door of the cage.

“We can’t keep him in here,” Willow said, “He won’t be safe.”

“You’re right,” Giles agreed, watching the agitated Oz. “We’ll move him for his own protection.” He disappeared into his office while Willow upended her bag and began to sort through her ingredients. Coming back Giles went to the cage and pushed a tranquiliser gun into Spike’s hands. “Shoot him before you open the door.”

Delighted, Spike flexed his fingers over the gun. He knew the Watcher had only given it to him because he happened to be the closest and the Watcher had other things to worry about other than who was going to tranq the wolf.

Oz let out a deep growl his eyes fixed on the vampire now standing at the door to his cage. Spike fired not once, but twice, just for good measure. It was the closest he would get to releasing his frustration and jealousy on the wolf.

It was left to Buffy and Xander to move the now sleeping Oz while Faith assisted Willow and Giles in lighting the candles around the circle.

Willow closed her eyes and tried to centre herself but she was too agitated and nervous to find her focus. She sank to her knees placing her hands flat to the floor to try and engage with the earth and draw some natural energy into her body.

“Focus now, pet.”

The wrinkles eased from her forehead at Spike’s close proximity and she relaxed a little bit more. She began her chant and Spike felt that prickling of his skin again, this time it was stronger, almost like a burn crawling all over him, but it didn’t hurt.

There was a sudden rumble like thunder, but it came from below. Willow paused, one eye cracking open. The ground shook beneath her and the floor splintered, opening up slowly, something long and green stretching out of the crack like a root sprouting from a seed.

It took only a moment for Willow to realise the green thing was a tentacle. There was a horrific noise and the ground completely gave way causing her to scramble back crablike on her hands and feet. The very same tentacle wielding demon from last time, the very same demon which had haunted her dreams many times, emerged from beneath them, tentacles waving and bolts of energy flashing like lightening.

“Dear God,” Giles gasped. “It’s grown.”

The three heads of the demon began to shriek and wail as it lashed out at the people surrounding it.

Angel swung his axe, Buffy leapt forward a sword in her hand, Faith hoisted the sword she held and Xander ran to the book cage for a crossbow.

Stunned, Willow stared at the Hellmouth beast in horror before pulling herself together. She had to finish the spell. She hadn’t had time to do a protection spell due to arriving late with Spike, the binding spell was her only shot.

The library doors swung open and members of The Sisterhood of Jhe came streaming in. Faith abandoned the demon and turned to face The Sisterhood with Giles at her side.

Lips parting to continue the spell Willow could only gasp when she came face to face with Jenny Calendar.

Jenny’s smile warmed her pretty face, her eyes lighting up at the sight of Willow. She looked happy to see her and Willow found herself smiling back.

Spike drew his sword ready to protect Willow, he turned away from The Sisterhood to check on his girl surprised to see her talking to a woman. She looked vaguely familiar but Spike couldn’t place her. Darting around the swinging tentacles Spike edged closer to Willow.

“Willow, what are you doing?” Jenny pursed her lips. “Why are you doing this? Can’t you see that you’re not using your magic in the right way?”

Spike frowned and looked behind him at the others, but even though the Slayer was facing them, she didn’t appear to see the woman standing beside Willow.

“Willow,” Jenny said soothingly “Don’t you see, you’re trying to fight a power that’s stronger than you. Do you feel the strength of that power?”

“Yes,” Willow nodded, she could feel the magic in the air that wasn’t hers. She could feel the dark power of the Hellmouth all around her.

“Of course you can,” Jenny’s lips curled into a proud little smile. “You’re a witch, magic is in your blood. Not like me, I didn’t have the ability that you have. You have so much potential, Willow, if you only use your power in the right way.”

Spike looked around again as he drew nearer to Willow and the woman, and he realised that it was only he and Willow who could see her.

“I thought I was using my magic right,” Willow looked confused.

“Not yet, but you will,” Jenny promised. “I’ll teach you just as I taught you at school. We can be teacher and pupil again, won’t that be nice?”

Willow nodded, eager to learn as she always was.

Spike frowned, something wasn’t ringing true about all of this.

“What you need to do,” Jenny continued “Is stop fighting it, Willow. You shouldn’t be fighting this power you should harnessing it for your own use.”

The realisation that this wasn’t Willow’s teacher crashed over him. Spike knew who she looked like, he knew this was the image of Jenny Calendar, the gypsy, the one Angelus had killed, the same image that had been haunting Angel over the last few days and fear clutched at his heart that the First Evil was talking to Willow.

There was a sudden shift in the air, a change in Willow’s magic, Spike could feel it all over his body and in Willow’s soul, which squirmed and bucked inside him. There was darkness creeping into the magic she was wielding and Spike knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that instead of closing the Hellmouth Willow was assisting in opening it.

 

 

 

 

 


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

A sharp wind had sprung up in the library and lights flashed green and black like spokes of lightening. Faith jabbed with her sword, spinning on the ball of her foot to deliver a roundhouse kick to the solar plex of one of The Sisterhood of Jhe.

Giles ducked as a large meaty arm swung at him. Lifting the spear high he struck a hard blow to the side of the head of another member of The Sisterhood. The demon staggered back and Faith sank her sword through its chest and pierced its heart. It fell to the floor with a sharp cry.

Emerging from the book cage with a cross bow Xander stood in the doorway aiming at the many waving tentacles which were causing Buffy and Angel to duck and weave around the room. He couldn’t make up his mind which he should shoot first or where he could do the most damage.

The demon screamed, a loud sound of pure anger when Angel brought his axe down on the end of one of the tentacles as Buffy lunged with her sword trying to get a clear shot at the demon’s heart. All she got for her pains was a hard thrust by one of the swinging tentacles which sent her flying across the room and out of the doors into the hallway.

Spike glanced around the library just as Buffy came charging back into the room sword flashing and her eyes filled with determination. It was a hard fight, the demon gave no quarter, it was bigger and stronger than both the Slayer’s put together and all they had for back up was a crusty old Watcher, a complete moron and the poof. Spike rolled his eyes, Angelus would have been more use.

It took a moment’s observation before it became clear that it was only the others who were fighting. He had no need to fight and neither did Willow, the demon took no notice of them at all, the waving tentacles came nowhere near them. With the amount of magic and energy that was pulsing in the air Spike had a horrible feeling that Willow was somehow controlling the demon.

The gypsy teacher, or rather her likeness, was still there, standing close to Willow whispering in her ear and gesturing. The First Evil was back and it had targeted Willow. Spike shuddered, his eyes flashing yellow and a growl resounding in the back of his throat; nothing was going to hurt his girl.

Leaping over a tentacle Spike closed in on Willow. The wind whipped her hair about her face, magic crackled and sparked in the air, spreading outwards to fill the room. This time the magic felt different, it was stronger than anything he had felt from her before; there was no chanting but the energy he felt was infused with darkness; Spike wasn’t sure if it came from Willow or The First Evil, all he knew was that he had to stop it.

Taking hold of her shoulders Spike pulled Willow to him, a startled look crossing his face when he saw her eyes were black and almost sparkling with magic. He couldn’t help the feeling of lust that swept down his spine at the sight of her, but it was chased by a wave of fright; she wasn’t Willow, she wasn’t there, she wasn’t in control.

He glared at Jenny. “Let her go!”

Jenny simply laughed.

“Its not her, Willow its not your teacher. Don’t let this thing control you, you’re stronger than that, love.” Spike dropped his sword, both hands gripping tightly to her shoulders. He stared into her eyes, searching for some sign of life, a flicker of recognition; but there was nothing, just darkness.

“Come back to me, Willow. Fight it, love. Fight her.”

Jenny laughed again, a cold, chilling cackle. “You can’t beat me, vampire.”

Spike ignored her, refusing to allow this mirage to get inside his head and turn him away from Willow. He leant in close until his lips brushed her ear. “I’m ‘ere, pet. I’m right ‘ere.”

“Feel it, Willow,” Jenny spoke softly. “Feel the power soaking through you. Feel what you’re meant to be. Take it, Willow. Be who you were meant to be.”

“No!” Spike wouldn’t allow this to happen, he wouldn’t allow The First Evil to destroy Willow as it had almost destroyed Angel.

He pulled her closer, fitting her body against his. The magic and energy she was wielding caused her body to heat up and the warmth of her skin seeped through his clothes to touch his own skin. Pressing her even closer Spike whispered in her ear, “Feel me, baby, feel me against you. Feel me in your soul.”

“Hold on to it, Willow. Hold on to the power. Feel it. Become it. Use it,” Jenny urged

Smoothing her hair back from her face Spike cupped her face gently and kissed her forehead. “Come back to me baby. Stay with me.” He pulled her into his chest, holding her tightly desperation washing over him as he scrambled to find a way to help her as he had helped Angel.

Somewhere in her subconscious Willow was conscious of Spike’s presence. She felt as though she were in that weird place between sleep and awake where she was only half aware of what was going on around her. She was responding to Spike. She could feel him, not just the hard lines of his body touching hers, but the deep baritone of his voice vibrating inside her.

Jenny’s eyes widened her lips parting in shock. “Stop it! You’re ruining everything!” She could feel her hold on Willow breaking.

Willow was in a bizarre world of darkness with strange white lights flashing behind her eyes, but she wasn’t afraid. She felt strong and powerful, as though she could do anything and there was nothing anyone could do to stop her; but Spike wasn’t in this world, he was on the margins of it. This world wouldn’t be much fun without Spike in it. She wanted to live in a world where Spike was, where she could feel him and he could touch her and kiss her and make love to her. His body against hers was driving her mad, her frustration building to the point of explosion; for she couldn’t quite feel him, it was more of a ghostly sensation which was less than satisfying.

“No!” Jenny gave a cry of pure fury.

Sluggishly, Willow’s mind came back to reality. The darkness receded, the white lights were gone and she found herself staring up at Spike’s face, his eyes clouded with worry watching her anxiously.

“Spike?”

“Yeah, love. It’s me.” Spike glanced to the right where Jenny had been standing relieved to see that she was gone. “Everythin’s gonna to be alright now.”

Willow blinked as she came fully back to herself confused and aroused at the same time. Her body drained of strength and energy she collapsed against Spike.

“Easy now,” he murmured rubbing soothing circles on her back.

With Willow back to herself the demon weakened. The members of The Sisterhood of Jhe who were still in the library sensed the change in the atmosphere and retreated allowing the others to make some headway to winning the battle.

Willow wrapped her arms around Spike and buried her face against his chest. “I’m so tired, Spike.”

“That’s alright, sweet. I’ll take you home an’ pop you into bed, you’ll be nice an’ safe as houses.” He kept her close, watching as the two Slayer’s closed in on the demon distracting it enough to allow Angel to go for the heart.

A tentacle swept out, caught Angel and sent him flying into the wall, which left the Watcher to go for the heart and stab at it with his spear. The demon gave a scream, the wind disappeared, the flashing lights stopped and the Hellmouth closed taking the demon with it.

A silence descended upon the room, Giles let out a long breath flexing his aching fingers around the staff of the spear. He looked around taking a mental stock of the room. There was some scarring on the counter, the floor looked no different than it ever had and everyone was still standing. Faith came up beside him frowning down at the perfectly polished floor, it was almost as though she’d merely been part of a nightmare and nothing had happened at all.

Giles smiled, they had done it, for the second time they had stopped the Hellmouth opening.

He placed a hand on Faith’s shoulder and squeezed lightly. “Well done, Faith. Good job.” There was a flash of surprise in her eyes and Giles felt bad, he should make more of an effort to praise her good efforts. Faith was undoubtedly good at what she did but she was so confident and independent that Giles sometimes forgot she was just a young girl and as much in need of validation as Buffy was, maybe more so.

Panting and pushing his hair from his face Xander froze when he saw Willow sagging against Spike. He dropped the cross bow to rush across the room to Willow’s side. It only took a few seconds but by the time he reached her Spike had scooped her up and was cradling her in his arms. She looked so tired and pale, Xander’s gut twisted.

“Wills, are you okay? Are you hurt?” Xander skidded to a stop beside Spike and reached out for her hand.

Willow smiled and shook her head. “No, I’m fine, Xan. I’m just tried from using so much magic at once.”

Xander scrutinized her face. “You’re white as a sheet, Wills. You look like your gonna faint. Are you sure you’re alright?”

“I’m fine, honest,” Willow squeezed his fingers. “Are you okay? Your head is bleeding.”

“Is it?” Xander touched the fingers of his free hand to his temple. “Oh yeah. You think it’ll scar?” he asked hopefully.

Willow smiled. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Cool. I don’t have any scars.”

Spike rolled his eyes and strove for patience. “As fascinatin’ as this is, I think I’ll take Willow home if its all the same to you.”

“Oh yeah,” Xander nodded. “Good idea.”

Rolling his eyes again Spike strode past Xander only to be waylaid by Faith and Giles. They both peered worriedly into Willow’s face and she shrank back into Spike’s shoulder half afraid they would see the darkness in her stamped on her forehead.

“Willow,” Giles said softly. “Are you alright?”

“Too much magic,” Spike answered for her.

“Of course,” Giles nodded a look of understanding crossing his face. “You need a good night’s sleep to revitalize your body. Don’t worry about Oz, I’ll stay with him tonight.”

Willow’s smile was strained. “Thanks, Giles.” She was ashamed to admit even to herself that she hadn’t given Oz a second thought.

“Come on, pet. Best get you home.”

“Alright, Spike,” she gave a little sigh and rested her head in the crook of his neck with a yawn.

Hoisting her more comfortably in his arms Spike made his way to the swinging doors grinning when he passed Angel who was lying spread eagled on the floor with the Slayer hovering over him helping him up.

Ponce.

XxX

Once he got Willow home Spike sent her to change for bed and poured her a small measure of brandy. He needed a little something himself, it had shaken him to his very core seeing her in that zombie like state all vulnerable to the power of The First Evil, although he couldn’t deny those black eyes turned him on, he liked a small touch of darkness in her.

She was sitting on the bed when he entered her room with the glass of brandy. Spike couldn’t find the words to express his relief at seeing her nice and safe in her room. “Here you go, pet. Drink it down in one, don’t be dainty ‘bout it.”

Willow took the glass and gulped the dark liquid, coughing and spluttering as the brandy made its warm way through her system. “Thanks, Spike. But that was awful.”

He chuckled and sat beside her. “You feelin’ better now, pet?”

“No,” she said softly. “Not really.”

Tonight the Slayer’s had been battling with a demon and he had been battling with The First Evil. Somehow, and Spike wasn’t sure exactly how, but he had managed to win, he had beat The First Evil and kept Willow in the light where she belonged.

He had almost lost her tonight Spike felt it in his bones. He closed his eyes for a moment, it didn’t bear thinking about.

“What ‘appened tonight, Willow?”

“I don’t know. I was just about to do the binding spell and then Jenny was there and telling me I wasn’t using my magic right and that I should be harnessing the power coming from the Hellmouth. I could feel it, all that power all around me and I guess I sort of latched on to it somehow and went into a trance, I don’t know what else to call it but it wasn’t like a trance because I was aware of everything that was happening . I could feel the magic and energy of the Hellmouth inside me and it was so intense, Spike. I felt more powerful than I ever thought was possible and I just didn’t care what was happening, I just wanted to keep feeling that power.”

Tears pricked her eyes as she thought of what could have happened. “They could all be dead right now, Spike. All my friends could be dead right now and I could have let the world go to hell all because I liked how it felt to have all that power inside me. I was too weak to fight. If it wasn’t for you everything would be bad and horrible and…. and I’m evil,” Willow burst into tears.

Reaching for her Spike pulled her into his arms and stroked her hair with gentle fingers. “There now, pet, no need to cry, you aren’t evil, not by a long shot.”

“I am,” she insisted through her tears. “This is worse than the cloaking spell gone wrong. I let Jenny talk me into connecting with the magic of the Hellmouth, even though I knew it wasn’t really her, I still let her talk me into opening the Hellmouth up because all that power felt so good. I’m turning evil, I know I am. Please, Spike,” she looked up gripping the front of his shirt so tightly that Spike could feel it straining against his shoulders. “Please don’t tell the others, Spike.”

“There now, sweet, you aren’t evil, I promise.” Cupping her face he used this thumb to blot the tears from her cheek. “You were dealin’ with The First Evil at the openin’ to the Hellmouth where it’s at its strongest. It’s not your fault you don’t ‘ave the experience to know how to block it from gettin’ into your head. Don’t forget it nearly killed Angel the other night. It’s The First Evil, love, it’s the strongest an’ darkest force you’ll ever encounter an’ you’re still only learnin’ magic; you can’t be blamed for things gettin’ out of hand.”

He pressed a light kiss to her forehead. “You can trust me, love,’ he said with a smile. “I’ll keep your secret, I won’t say anythin’ to the others.”

A trembling smile touched her lips and Willow sniffed blinking her wet eyes. “Spike, will you stay with me tonight? I don’t want to be on me own, what if The First Evil shows up again?”

Spike smiled and nodded. “’Course I’ll stay with you, love. Is the blanket still over the window? In the spare room,” he added when she merely stared at him with confused eyes.

“Oh, yes, no. I mean that’s not what I meant.”

“Oh, what did you mean?”

Her colour deepened. Pulling away from him Willow sat up and brushed her hair from her face. “What I meant was, would you stay here, you know, _here_.”

Spike blinked in surprise. “You mean in ‘ere with you?”

Catching her bottom lip between her teeth Willow nodded. “I’m afraid I’m too weak to fight on my own if The First Evil shows up like it did with Angel, but I’ll be alright if you’re here, you can fight anything.”

“You’re not weak, pet,” Spike assured her shrugging off his coat and crossing the room to throw it over the wicker chair. “Angel ‘ad a hell of a time fightin’ it an’ he’s got two centuries worth of fightin’ experience behind him.” Taking off his shirt, his boots and his belt Spike went back to the bed. “And don’t forget he knows a fair bit ‘bout being evil too. If he had trouble with The First Evil someone as good as you is gonna ‘ave an even tougher time with it.”

He stretched out on the bed getting comfortable. Willow crawled beneath the covers, switching off the light she settled down next to him. “You really don’t think I’m turning evil?”

“’Course you aren’t, love. I think I’d feel it if you were, I think it would affect your soul, the part I ‘ave I mean.”

She relaxed a bit more. “That makes sense, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, love, I think it does.” Spike had no idea if the part of her soul residing in him would in fact be affected, he could feel her magic so he didn’t think it was too much of a stretch that he would feel it if she did begin to turn too far to the dark side. Either way, he was willing to indulge her if it made her feel better and helped her to sleep.

“Thanks, Spike,” she smiled in the dark shifting closer to him. “And thank you for bringing me back tonight. I couldn’t have done it without you, you know.”

“You’re welcome, love. Come ‘ere,” he opened his arms hopefully, a smile curling his lips when she wiggled closer and willingly settled in his arms. “You’ve ‘ad a long night, sleep now, I’ll keep you safe, baby.”

“I know,” she said with a yawn. “’Night, Spike.”

“G’night, Willow.”

Her breathing evened out as sleep took hold of her and she snuggled closer to him her fingers clutching at his t-shirt as though she were afraid he would disappear once she was asleep. Spike smoothed the soft skin of her bare arm his hold on her tightening as he absorbed the warmth of her body fitting neatly against his. The scent of wild strawberries and magic and Willow swamped him as he fell asleep in the gentle wash of her heartbeat.

 


	24. chapter 24

Chapter 24

Willow came awake slowly. She yawned, her fingers flexed over Spike’s chest and a smile curled her lips to find him there beside her. A little excited shiver ran down her spine, she became goosepimply all over; she had spent the night in Spike’s arms. She had never slept with a boy before.

Examining Spike’s sleeping face in the dimness of the room Willow figured she really couldn’t call Spike a boy, he was a man; the thought made her shiver again.

He was undeniably handsome, the black of his t-shirt extenuating his pale skin and the scar on his eyebrow adding character and mystery to a face that really didn’t need any more help in being attractive. He was an all-round lethal combination as it was.

Moving her hand over his chest in a small circle Willow realised that Spike was very still. He wasn’t human and he didn’t sleep like one. There was no rise and fall of his chest, there was no sniffing or snuffling noises and no shifting and wiggling; he just lay there as still as a corpse. Willow figured that for all intents and purposes that was exactly what he was.

The thought should have been disturbing and creepy and maybe even a little bit scary; but it wasn’t. It was still Spike and he made her smile.

The sudden ringing of the phone made her jump and Spike jerked awake his face shifting to that of his demon and his arms tightening around her for a moment before he registered it was the phone.

“Spike, you’re squeezing me,” Willow gasped and wriggled.

“Sorry, pet.” Spike eased his hold on her and glared at the phone which was still ringing shrilly on the bedside table.

Moving regretfully out of the safe sphere of Spike’s arms Willow gestured towards the door. “I’ll take it in the living room. Go back to sleep, Spike.”

He watched her cross the room taking in all that lovely expanse of creamy leg he was just dying to touch. “Don’t be long, pet.”

“I won’t.” Her response was automatic, Willow didn’t even think about it. She scurried into the living room and snatched the phone out of the cradle. “Hello?”

“Merry Christmas, Wills!” Buffy carolled.

“Merry Christmas, Buff.”

“Or, you know, Happy Hanukah.”

Willow smiled. “Happy Hanukah, Buff.”

“So, how’s my Willow this morning? I didn’t get a chance to speak to you last night before Spike whisked you away. Are you okay? Xander said you weren’t hurt. He said you were just tired.”

“Yeah I was. I’m fine, Buffy. How’re you today?”

“Oh I’m alright. A little bruised after my flying trick through the doors and of course there was that moment when Angel hit the floor and was out for about a minute, the longest minute of my life,” Buffy let out a little sigh. “But other than that, I’m all good.”

“He’s alright though, isn’t he?”

“Yeah he’s fine. Takes more than that to keep Angel down.”

“Are you going to see him later?”

“Yeah, it won’t be until late though. Gonna have a quiet day with my mom and then patrol tonight.”

“Sounds nice.” Willow noticed the wistful tone was missing, she had often felt her mother’s absence keenly when she compared their relationship with the one Buffy enjoyed with her mother. Now however she was glad her parents were away, it had afforded her the luxury of spending the night with Spike.

“It’ll be nice to just relax for a bit. Giles says I should take it easy today and enjoy myself so I’m totally gonna do what he says, he’s my Watcher after all,” she laughed.

Willow grinned. “And you always listen to him, don’t you.”

“When it’s important,” Buffy said firmly and laughed again. “You spoken to Xander this morning?”

“No, not yet. I won’t hear from him until after dinner, that’s when things tend to kick off at his house. You know, after the drinking and stuff.”

Buffy winced. “Not so much with the festive fun.”

“No, not so much.” Willow let out a small sigh, “I don’t know, maybe it’s a good thing, at least they care enough to fight, that’s better than not caring at all, right?”

“I suppose,” Buffy replied uncertainly. Willow’s relationship with her parents had always been a strange back and forth feeling for Buffy. On the one hand she envied Willow the freedom her parents absence provided, but on the other she couldn’t imagine not seeing her mother for months at a time.

“Look, Buff, I kinda need to pee, can I call you back later?”

Buffy laughed loudly. “Yeah of course. I’ll talk to you later, Wills. Bye.”

“Bye.” Willow hung up and darted for the bathroom.

She finished her morning ablutions, took some clean clothes out of the pile of laundry she had yet to put away and made some toast to stop the rumbling in her belly. She had just decided on washing up and crawling back into bed with Spike, after all she had nowhere else to be today, when a knock came at the door.

She sighed, put her plate in the sink and finished the last of her glass of orange juice before going to open the door. Guilt assailed her when she saw Oz standing on the porch.

“Happy Hanukah.”

“Hi, Oz. Merry Christmas. How was your morning, get any neat presents?”

“Nothing exciting,” Oz said shoving his hands in his pockets.

Willow forced a smile to her face but her insides were in turmoil. She couldn’t invite Oz in with Spike asleep upstairs in her bed it didn’t feel right. It felt like a betrayal, even though they had only slept last night there was still all these feelings she had rushing and tumbling through her where Spike was concerned.

“Um, do you think you could do me a favour? Could you take me to the clothes bank? I have some stuff to drop off and I haven’t had the chance yet.”

“Sure. No problem.” Oz tried not to read too much into the fact that she hadn’t invited him in, but it was rather like trying not to think of the pink elephant in the room.

She had her bags of clothes just inside the garage door and Oz helped her take them out and load them into the back of the van. She hadn’t greeted him with a hug or a kiss either.

Willow settled nervously in the passenger seat sending a worried look at her house as Oz pulled off from the curb. Hopefully Spike would just sleep and not realise she had left. She wouldn’t want him to think she was abandoning him or anything.

Oz wasn’t one to mind silence, he never felt the need to fill it with a lot of mindless chatter the way other people did. But the silence that stretched between them now was fraught with nerves and things unsaid, it made him uncomfortable and twitchy. Oz wasn’t used to being uncomfortable and twitchy.

He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry I couldn’t help out with the fight and stuff yesterday, you know, what with it being a full moon.”

“Oh that’s alright,” Willow said quickly. “It’s a thing you have now, you know, the wolfyness. We all understand sometimes you’re going to be indisposed.”

“I’m glad it all went off okay anyway. Another disaster averted. Did Spike help out?”

Willow worried her bottom lip and wiggled in her seat. “Spike was there and did help out.”

When she offered nothing more on the subject Oz let out a sigh. “I know Spike is at your house. I can smell him, just the way I smell him on you. Spike’s scent is on you all the time these days.”

Willow remained silent, she was unsure what to say. It was horrible, this feeling of shame over the way she had betrayed Oz.

“What’s going on with Spike?”

The question was plain enough, directly to the point as was Oz’s way, but Willow couldn’t seem to find her voice never mind find the words to explain about Spike. How could she explain about Spike?

“I can feel it you know, Willow. I feel you drifting away from me,” Oz gave a small smile, he wanted to reach out and touch her hand, give her some sort of reassurance but something held him back. “I can understand that you might be drawn to Spike because of the soul, but I wish you would talk to me and not shut me out.”

“Nothing’s happened.” Willow was no longer appalled at how easily a lie could spring to her lips. She seemed to be much better at lying these days than she used to be. Besides, it was probably best that Oz not know she and Spike had spent the night in the same bed and she definitely lacked the courage to tell him about the kisses and the… other stuff.

“I’m not accusing you of anything. I know your relationship with Spike is a platonic one, Spike’s scent would be much stronger on you if it wasn’t.”

They had reached the clothes bank, traffic being rather thin on the road on Christmas Day. Oz pulled up and they unloaded the van in awkward silence. Even doing this good deed, this one nice thing for people less fortunate than her, Willow couldn’t elevate the guilt she felt. She and Spike weren’t as platonic as Oz imaged them to be, but she didn’t offer the truth; it would only hurt Oz and what was the point of that?

“I know things between us have changed, Willow,” Oz said dropping the last bag in the large metal bank. “But I don’t know how to put it right.”

Willow let out a shaky breath and turned back to the van. In that moment she couldn’t look at Oz. Lying to him was easy, looking at him was hard.

“I don’t think you can put it right. I used to wish time away until I could see you. I used to get this silly little smile on my face when I saw you. I used to get this special Oz-feeling when I kissed you, but now I’m with you and…”

Oz followed her back to the van and climbed in behind the wheel. He gripped it tightly for a moment. “Now you don’t feel those things any more. I get it.”

“I don’t.” Her voice was a strained whisper.

“I knew things had changed. I just needed you to say it to know I wasn’t imagining things. It’s weird, being in a relationship that isn’t a relationship anymore. I didn’t want to stay in it by myself, I need you in it too. But if that isn’t how you feel then we need to deal with it.”

Was this happening? Was this really happening? Willow could hardly believe it; still she found herself answering, her voice oddly flat. “Yeah we need to deal.”

“Dealt with.”

“Okay.”

“No judgement.”

“I appreciate that.”

Was this really her and Oz talking to each other like cold impersonal strangers? Was it over, just like that? Her first relationship, her first boyfriend, her first kiss; all over and done with, finished; where were the tears?

Willow had always figured that if she and Oz ever broke up she would be devastated. She had thought she would cry and cry and never stop. The mere thought of losing Oz had once almost made her burst into tears and now they were over she was dry; there was no emotion in her at all. It was almost as though she didn’t care, but she did care, she had to care, this was Oz after all.

“I gotta go. Gotta pack for tomorrow,” Oz said pulling up in front of her house. He must have broken the sound barrier getting back to Willow’s put Oz felt he couldn’t stand sitting in the enclosed space of the van in this dreadful, aching silence one minute longer than he had to.

“Last minute as usual,” Willow tired for light amusement and was pleased that she did a reasonable job of pulling it off.

Oz offered her a grin, willing to meet her half way even when he felt as though he were dying inside. “That’s me. I’ll see you when I get back, okay?”

Willow’s lips dipped down in the corners a feeling of sadness washing over her. “You mean once a month when the moon’s full? You turn up at the library to be locked up and then off you go when you’re all Oz again? That’s going to be us from now on? A ship’s passing in the night kind of deal?”

“No, I’ll still help out and stuff,” Oz assured her. “I’m happy to do it.”

“Thanks, Oz, I know Buffy’ll appreciate it.”

“I’m happy to be your friend too,” he said softly.

Even though he had a feeling she had dealt him half-truths where Spike was concerned and being her friend alone was going to be hard; Oz refused to abandon her. There was always the chance they could put things right when her soul was back where it belonged, for she wasn’t the same Willow he had known only a week or so go. He missed her and he wanted her back.

“I’ll see you in a few days,” he said, wisely keeping his thoughts to himself.

Willow smiled and jumped out of the van. “Have fun in L.A. Oz.”

She stood on the pavement watching him drive off. She felt freer than she had in days. Oz was gone, there was nothing holding her back now. She looked at the house biting her lip and hugging herself tightly. “Want. Take. Have.”

 


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

 

Willow had only stepped into the hallway when her courage failed her. She couldn’t go marching into her bedroom and put the moves on Spike. For a start she had no moves to make, and she wasn’t that type of girl anyway; she had lived with rejection too long to feel comfortable where first moves were concerned.

She stood where she was for a few minutes before taking off her shoes and padding to the bedroom. There was no reason why she couldn’t look in on Spike and make sure he was okay. It was probably a good idea to fetch the blanket from over the window in the spare room and put it up in hers, just to be safe.

Spike was lying on his side his back to her when she entered the room with the large blanket over her arm. He never moved and in the dimness of the room Willow was unaware of the light fluttering of his eyelashes as his eyes opened to slits and he tracked her movements as she dragged the wicker chair over to the window and balanced precariously on the arms to hang the blanket.

His chest tightened to see her doing something nice for him. It had been a long time since anyone bothered to try and take care of him.

“Where’d you go?”

Willow shrieked, her heart leaping and she wobbled, her hands pressing flat to the window to keep her balance. “Jeeze, Spike, don’t do that!”

“Sorry, love. You wanna hand?”

“No, I’m fine,” she hopped to the floor and sat on the bed beside him. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t. Just not used to ‘aving people wanderin’ about when I’m asleep is all. Vampire’s don’t sleep the way human’s do, we ‘ave an instinctive sense of awareness about us.”

“Handy,” she said with a smile, thinking how sweet he looked with his hair tousled.

“Uh huh.” He waited, willing her to tell him she had been with the wolf and why. He could smell Oz on her, very faintly, but there all the same.

Willow picked at the duvet tracing the swirling pattern of blues and greens with her eyes. She tried to image what Spike’s response to her new single status would be but somehow she couldn’t picture it and that frightened her. What if Spike didn’t really want her? What if his feelings were merely physical and he had no wish to actually be with her?

Well, she wasn’t going to find out what he thought about anything unless she spoke up. “I went out with Oz. We, um, we broke up.”

She hadn’t cried when it happened. She hadn’t cried on the way home and she hadn’t felt like crying while she pottered about covering the window. Saying it out loud didn’t change that. She was still dry. There was no ache in her chest, no lump in her throat, no burning tears in her eyes; nothing.

“You did huh?”

“I’m not upset,” she looked up at him a frown on her face. “If anything, I feel relieved. That’s awful isn’t it?”

“Not if it’s the truth.” There was no internal struggle to keep the smile off his face, there was no smile threatening to reveal itself, something felt off to Spike. From everything he had seen of Willow so far he knew she was a sweet, caring girl who had in fact had strong feelings for the wolf whether he liked it or not, and this indifference she claimed to have to the ending of her relationship concerned him slightly.

“It is the truth, Spike. I’m waiting for the tears but they just aren’t coming,” her lips pursed. “When you and Drusilla broke up you cried your eyes out and I don’t even feel sad.”

Spike bristled sitting upright a deep scowl on his face. “I did not cry my eyes out!”

“Oh, well, no,” she said hastily. “What I meant was that you were upset. I mean, obviously you would be, you’d been with Drusilla for a century. That’s much longer than I’ve been with Oz.”

“End of an era, love.” It was hypocritical of him seeming as he couldn’t find it in himself to wish to change his long relationship with Dru, but Spike was glad Willow hadn’t been with Oz for a century, the idea of someone else enjoying her exclusively for so long made his hackles rise.

Willow looked at him long and hard searching for any sign of misery or longing for Drusilla, but she saw nothing. The thought of Spike going back to Drusilla brought tears to her eyes, a lump to her throat and an ache to her chest. Lowering her head and shifting about in the pretence of looking for a more comfortable position Willow blinked rapidly to stem the tears.

“I should probably let you get back to sleep. You’re probably usually fast asleep by now, huh?”

“Usually.”

She rose from the bed. “Like I said, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

He caught her wrist with light fingers. “Stay. I mean, until I go back to sleep.”

She looked surprised, but sat back down, settling on her side next to him. “Alright. If you really want me to.”

“It’s nice ‘aving you next to me when I’m sleepin’. You’re all toasty warm.”

She laughed and wiggled closer to him. “Well, if you want me to stay then I’ll stay and keep you warm.”

“So good to me you are, pet,” Spike grinned and pulled her closer, settling her against him with her head beneath his chin. “There now, much better. Can feel you all over me now.”

There was a sharp intake of breath which made him smile but Willow didn’t respond to his comment, she just relaxed in his arms sliding her own about his waist. Spike’s eyes closed a feeling of contentment washing over him; he could get used to this.

 

XxX

Spike left when the sun set. He said he was going back to Angel’s for something to eat and then come back to take her to Willy’s as promised. Willow wasn’t totally sure she believed that Spike was going to, as he put it “pilfer some of the poof’s blood supply”, but she dismissed the worrisome thought and concentrated on the night ahead with excited anticipation.

Willow was fixing her make-up wrapped in a bathroom when someone knocked on the front door. She knew it wasn’t Spike, he’d just let himself in, besides he hadn’t been gone long enough. She thought it might be Faith since she hadn’t heard off her all day. It would be nice to chat with Faith while she got ready; Faith could tell her all about her day at the beach with Matt and Logan and Willow could tell Faith all about Oz. It was nice to know she could do that without being subjected to pity and sympathy; Willow wanted neither and she knew she could be totally honest with Faith without having to sugar coat things the way she did with Buffy.

Buffy wouldn’t understand her feelings and Willow knew it. It wasn’t Buffy’s fault, how could Buffy understand what Willow herself failed to comprehend?

It wasn’t Faith at the door but Xander. He greeted her with a huge smile and a big hug. “Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukah! Oooh, soft,” he said squeezing the billowing arm of her bathrobe.

Willow’s lips quirked with amusement. “I’m glad you like it.”

Xander’s grinned widened. “I do.”

Rolling her eyes she closed the door behind him. “How’s your day been?”

Xander made a face. “Same screaming and shouting, different Christmas.”

She touched his arm lightly. “Sorry, Xan.”

He shrugged. “I’m used to it. Still, not shouting would be a nice change of pace. You got anything to eat?”

“Go see, help yourself.” Willow had a tendency to forget to eat sometimes. Spike had reminded her to eat something before they went out tonight so she had made herself some cheese on toast. The fridge was pretty empty, she really needed to do a shop and soon.

Xander of course could always be counted upon to find something to eat in the barest of cupboards and he sat at the kitchen counter with a glass of milk and a box of biscuits. “I, um, I spoke to Oz earlier.”

“He called to say goodbye?”

“Partly.” Xander munched on a chocolate biscuit. “He said you’d broken up.”

Willow nodded and sat down opposite him. “Yeah we did.”

“Yeah, he said,” Xander paused, “I already told you that.”

She smiled. “Yeah you did.”

“You doing okay?”

“I’m fine. It was the right thing to do. Break up I mean.”

Xander grinned and reached for her hand. “So you changed your mind? About us,” he added when she merely looked baffled. “You and me, us,” he continued when she remained silent. “You know, being together like we talked about. Lusty feelings and all that, remember?”

“Yes I remember. Do you remember me saying I don’t feel that way about you any more?”

“Sure I do, but you were just being the good girlfriend, weren’t you? I can see that now. It’s okay, Wills, I know you, I get that you wanted to do the right thing but it doesn’t matter now, does it, what with the breakup and everything.”

Willow shook her head. “It was nothing like that, Oz and I just decided to end things, it wasn’t working between us anymore.”

 

“Because of me?” Xander pressed. “Because of how we really feel about each other?”

 

“No. It’s got nothing to do with you,” Willow couldn’t hold back her impatience, but Xander didn’t seem to notice.

 

“Well it can have something to do with me, can’t it. Now you’re all free again we can give it a shot.”

 

“I think you’re forgetting about Cordelia.”

 

“I haven’t forgotten about her, I don’t think I could forget about her,” he added ruefully. “But I told you before, I’ll end things with her when she gets back from Aspen.”

 

Willow grit her teeth and glared at him. “Don’t you listen? I told you I don’t feel that way about you anymore.”

 

He looked annoyed but had that stubborn set to his jaw Willow was familiar with. Xander wasn’t ready to back down just yet. “Well, why else would you finish with Oz? Isn’t it a bit of a coincidence that I tell you how I feel and within forty eight hours you’ve ended things with him?”

 

“It’s a bit of a coincidence,” Willow conceded, “But that’s all it is, Xan.”

 

Xander didn’t reply, he stared at her instead and for so long that Willow begun to feel uncomfortable and wiggled in her seat. She was just about to ask him to stop with the staring when he spoke.

 

“We didn’t get a chance to tell you what with the end of the world and stuff, but Amy dropped off those magic books the other night before she went away for Christmas.”

 

The subject change threw Willow for a moment but she welcomed it if it meant Xander was going to shut up about a possible relationship between them. It was so ironic that he wanted her now and she had no Xander-feelings left whatsoever, it almost made her want to laugh.

 

“That was really nice of her, to think about me when she was going away and everything.”

 

“She’s nice enough,” Xander said. “Even if she can be bit scary.” He couldn’t help but remember her infatuation with him during the love spell he had tried to cast to get Cordelia back. “Anyway, I was heading over to the library and thought you’d like to come with, you know, help Giles with the research.”

 

Willow didn’t call him on the obvious lie. He had come over to see if he was the reason behind her break up with Oz, she had the feeling that the last place Xander would want to go was the library if she did in fact return his feelings. Even though she hoped this was the end of it there was new mean streak in her which delighted in Xander’s new unrequited feelings; now he knew what it was like.

 

There was a loud knock on the door and Willow let out a little sigh as she went to answer it. All these interruptions were not helping, she wanted to be ready to go when Spike returned. She really hoped this wasn’t Spike being polite and knocking, Xander wouldn’t take his arrival well.

 

“I’m thinking I might get a turnstile installed instead of a door,” she said in greeting to Faith who grinned at her.

 

“Miss Popular are ya?”

 

“You could say that. Come in.”

 

“Thanks, Red. Hey, Xan,” she spied him through the open kitchen door and wandered towards him.

 

“Hey, Merry Christmas, Faith. Biscuit?”

 

“You too.” Faith took a biscuit from the offered box examining Willow closely as she did so. The carefully applied makeup and the bathrobe told Faith all she needed to know, she guessed Willow was going somewhere other than the library and patrol and she guessed Spike would be involved.

 

Willow smiled, glad of Faith’s presence, she prevented Xander from circling back to “them” and gave her a way to get rid of him at the same time. “I can’t come to the library with you, I have plans with Faith. We’re um…”

 

“Going dancing,” Faith supplied.

 

“Going dancing,” Willow agreed.

 

“Dancing?” Xander looked nonplussed for a moment. “But we still haven’t sorted out the problem of your soul. Now that the apocalypse has been dealt with we can concentrate more on that. I know he loves the books and stuff but you shouldn’t leave all the work to Giles.”

 

Willow’s eyes narrowed. “Who says it’s a problem? Who asked Giles to stick his nose into my business anyway? If and when I want to rectify the situation I’ll do it. But right now I want to go dancing.”

 

“Whaddya mean, “if” you want to rectify it? You have half a soul, Wills. The evil undead has the other half. That’s a problem!”

 

“Not to me it isn’t.”

 

“It kinda is, Wills,” Xander insisted. “You’re all un-Willowy!”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

She looked genuinely confused and Xander took heart from it. His Willow was still in there somewhere he was sure of it. “This split soul business is making you all weird and making you do weird things like hanging out with creepy evil vampires. I mean, its you, Wills, since when do you not want to research?”

 

“Since now,” Willow said crossly. “I want to go out with Faith and I’m going.”

 

“But,” he waved his arm in a circle. “Research, solving the problems, finding the answer’s. It’s kinda what you do. And we really need to find a way to undo what you did with Spike.”

 

Willow glowered. “Maybe I don’t want to undo it.”

 

Xander let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. “Yes you do. My best friend Willow would want to be normal again, she’d want her own soul back.”

 

“And want to be with you?” Willow guessed.

 

Xander glanced at Faith his cheeks colouring a little and shrugged.

 

“Hasn’t she already told you she doesn’t want you?”

 

“Yes,” Willow said. “And again before you got here, like three times!”

 

“You were right, Red, he can’t take a hint. Oh yeah,” she said in response to the surprised look on his face. “I know all about your pathetic attempts to get into Willow’s panties.”

 

“I wasn’t…. that wasn’t…it’s not like that. She’s my best friend and we...”

 

“You thought you could snap your fingers and she’d come running just ‘cos she’s had feelings for you before. That it?”

 

“No!”

 

“You got the prom queen on your arm, she not enough for you?”

 

Xander shook his head. “It won’t last between me and Cordelia. We’re too different. She’s all popular and stuff and I’m the bottom of the totem pole. I’m not gonna keep a girl like Cordy.”

 

Willow flinched, even though she knew Xander well enough to know he wasn’t trying to be hurtful, he just didn’t always think before he spoke.

 

Faith scowled. “Willow’s no-one’s second choice.” She took hold of Xander by the scruff of his neck and frog marched him to the front door. “Besides, she don’t want you, Harris, back off. Go lick your wounds someplace else.”

 

“Hey!” Xander squirmed in her grasp but couldn’t free himself. “What’re you doing? Let me go! I didn’t mean it like that.”

 

Willow watched her mouth at half mast as Faith literally threw Xander out of the house and slammed the door on him. Faith brushed her hands together and gave a small nod of her head. “That was satisfying.”

 

Willow simply laughed. “Thanks you for your help.”

 

“No worries, that’s what friends are for right?”

 

“Right,” Willow smiled. “Oz and I broke up earlier and Xander came straight over here looking to pick up where we left off. Who does that?”

 

“Guys. Guys do that.”

 

Willow made a face. “No sensitivity at all. Not that I expect anything different from Xander, he’s pretty clueless about things like that. He doesn’t mean it, he’s just, you know, Xander.”

 

“How’d Oz take it?”

 

“We both knew it was coming. I didn’t cry,” she said slowly. “I thought I would be upset but I’m not. Oz seemed fine too, not like he was going to burst into tears the moment he left or anything.”

 

“Spike know?”

 

“Yes.” Willow let out a sigh and made a dismissive gesture with her hand. “I don’t want to talk about it just in case I decide to get upset, it’ll ruin my night. How was your day? You can tell me all about it when I finish getting ready.”

 

“Off out with Spike?”

 

Willow nodded. “We’re going to Willy’s. You can come if you like?”

 

Faith followed Willow into her bedroom. “No thanks, I’m going on patrol. Besides, I don’t think Willy would be too pleased to have a Slayer hanging out at his place.”

 

“No, probably not.” Willow went to the closet and frowned at all her new clothes. “Faith, can you help me pick an outfit for tonight. I want one that will let Spike know I’m, you know… ready.”

 

“Big night tonight then?”

 

“I hope so, sort of. I mean I want it to be. I do want to sleep with Spike, but…”

 

“But?”

 

“What if I disappoint him?” Willow bit her bottom lip and sat on the edge of the bed. “Spike’s been around for a long time, he, well, he’ll know what he’s doing and I just…haven’t, ever, and I don’t want…. I want to…. I just….” she trailed off holding her hands up in a sign of surrender.

 

Faith scratched the back of her neck and swung absently on the swivel chair her brow creased in thought. “You, um, tell Spike about your big plans?”

 

Willow’s eyes went wide. “Tell him? Like with actual words? I just sort of hoped he’d get it.”

 

“He might not,” Faith pointed out. “Sometimes you have to spell it out to a guy. It won’t be so bad, you already know he wants you. Telling him you want him too will make his night.”

 

Her eyes somehow got even wider. “What would I say? I’ve never had to say something like that before, well, there was that time with the love spell and I was in Xander’s bed all propositioning him and stuff, but that was different, there was magic involved.”

 

“You propositioned Xander? What’d he say?”

 

“It was more of a freak out reaction than a wordy reaction,” she paused and grinned in spite of herself, “He ran away from me.”

 

Faith laughed, her eyes shining with amusement. “He’s all man ain’t he? What did you ever see in him?”

 

“He’s Xander. That was enough for me.”

 

Faith said nothing, she couldn’t identify with such simple feelings. There was nothing all that complicated with Willow, she had a way of making things more complicated than they were by all the thinking she did and the insecurities that ate away at her.

 

“What did you say to Xander? Maybe you could say the same thing to Spike?”

 

“I don’t remember exactly, just something about wanting him to be my first.”

 

“Simple and affective. I think Spike would get it.”

 

A blush stained her cheeks at the very thought of saying something like to Spike. No way would she be able to get the words out. “Spike usually does the talking,” she murmured without thinking.

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“Nothing,” Willow’s colour deepened.

 

Faith grinned and cocked an eyebrow. “Somehow I just don’t believe you, Red.”

 

Willow’s embarrassment was at an all time high, but she confided in Faith anyway. “He talks to me, well he did. Telling me what he wanted to do to me, you know,” she glanced up and lowered her voice “ _sexually_.”

 

Faith had trouble keeping a straight face and was sure she didn’t quite manage it. “Then you’ve got your perfect opening. Just tell him you want some action to go with the words. I’m sure he’ll be happy to show you how much of an action-vamp he is.” She sat up and pushed her hair back with a sigh. “Look, Willow, you wanna get it on with Spike that’s your business.”

 

“Buffy won’t like it,” Willow warned. “None of them will like it.”

 

“B got it on with a vamp and she’s a Slayer. You do what you wanna do not what you think B would do or even what Spike thinks you should do. You wanna get down and dirty with Spike then do it. You wanna give it up to Spike then do it. It’s your virginity you can do what you like with it. So your friends might not like you and Spike getting cosy, they probably won’t approve, so what? You can’t go through life worrying about what other people are gonna say, you can’t live your life according to the Prophecy of Buffy. Its your life, Willow and you only get one shot at it. Do what you wanna do and to hell with everyone else. If they don’t like it that’s their look out.”

 

There was a lot of sense in Faith’s words and Willow had always liked common sense. Faith had a point, it was her life and her body and her decision. She hadn’t told Buffy, a vampire Slayer, not to get involved with Angel, a vampire. Of course Angel had a soul, but darn it so did Spike, he had her soul! That was better than Angel and his there one day gone the next excuse for a soul.

 

“Spike’s what I want,” Willow admitted. “I want to be with Spike.”

 

“Then tonight’s definitely the night,” Faith winked and sat back in the chair her hands folded across her lap. “And I’d go for the red dress.”

 

“Red dress it is.” She took out the dress and put it on, running her hand over her hips to smooth out the wrinkles. “Do you really think he’ll like it?”

 

“Sure he will. The virgin done up as a vixen, it’ll appeal to some twisted fantasy he’s got running around in his head, believe me.”

 

“This is it,” Willow murmured stating at herself in the mirror. “This is what I’ll wear the first time I’m with Spike.”

 

Faith smiled slightly. “When you get to Willy’s have a little drink, it’ll relax you and stop you worrying so much; take the edge off.”

 

Willow nodded her hands smoothing over the dress again.

 

“Don’t worry so much, everything’ll be fine, you’ll see. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself and don’t let Spike put the pressure on either.”

 

“Oh, Spike wouldn’t do that.”

 

Faith thought differently but kept her comments to herself.

 

“Before you got here Xander told me that Amy had dropped off more magic books with Giles.”

 

“That the research he was on about?”

 

Willow nodded. “The thing is, I don’t want to give up my link with Spike.”

 

“Yeah, I got that,” Faith considered the situation. “Maybe you could take the books from the library, you know, until you speak with Spike about it. You know as well as I do that if they find a way to reverse the spell they’ll do it without waiting to ask your permission.”

 

“I know, that’s what I’m worried about.” Willow bit her lip rubbing her hands together nervously. “Do you think maybe you could get hold of the books for me?”

 

“You want me to steal from Giles?” Faith’s eyebrows rose a fraction.

 

“Well, it’s more like borrowing….”

 

Faith held up a hand to stop the explanation. “It’s not a problem, Red, I just wanted to make sure we’re on the same page here.”

 

“Oh, then yeah, I want you to steal from Giles.”

 

“Leave it to me, I’ll have them by the end of the night.”

 

 


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

 

Spike was full when he returned to Angel’s. He had managed to keep his promise to Willow, he had fed and hadn’t killed. Wandering the back alleys of Sunnydale was like finding an all you can eat buffet; it was a surprise in a town like Sunnydale, although Spike had never had to not kill his meals before so anyone had been fair game and he liked the challenge of the hunt. He was a predator after all.

He wandered into Angel’s purely because he wanted Angel to be in a position to vouch for him if Willow asked if Spike had in fact shown up at Crawford Street. He didn’t think she would, she trusted him, but it was better to cover his back just in case.

Angel was home, sitting on the couch with a book and Spike could tell straight away that Angel was fuming. “Where have you been?” He got to his feet when Spike appeared in the doorway, tossing the book on the couch he glared at Spike. “I know you’ve been to Willow’s, I can smell her on you.”

Willow’s scent was strong although it was still her own; her scent hadn’t yet mingled with Spike’s which told Angel their relationship was still platonic and Spike hadn’t yet managed to scheme and manipulate his way into Willow’s bed. The very idea of them being intimate in any way set Angel’s teeth on edge.

Spike rolled his eyes. “If you know, why ask?”

“Leave Willow alone, Spike. She doesn’t need you screwing with her head, manipulating her and wrecking her life.” Angelus had taught Spike well, if anyone knew how to find and exploit someone’s inner demons and insecurities and make them work for him it was Spike.

He was angry at the accusation but he kept his emotions under wraps, it came from years of trying to keep his fragile heart safe from the cruelty of Angelus. “That’s not what I’m doin’.”

“Its what you always do. Leave her alone, Spike.”

Spike let out a bitter laugh his eyes hardening. “I know what you’re problem is, your jealous.”

A surprised look crossed Angel’s face. “Jealous? Of what? Why don’t you grow up, Spike?”

“Oh you’re jealous alright, cos I’m actually needed an’ you’re not. I saw you,” Spike said warming to his theme. “I saw you hittin’ the floor all unconscious an’ your girl kickin’ arse all over the library. Your jealous cos my girl needs me, I get to protect the girl, rescue the girl, you get to be rescued _by_ the girl. Probably makes you feel less of a man, don’t it?” he grinned tucking his tongue into his cheek.

“The Slayer’s stronger than you an’ she don’t need you for shit. Now don’t get me wrong, the time’ll come when my girl’s more than capable of turnin’ me into a stink beetle or what ‘ave you, but she still needs me. We may have been turned by women, women who are strong an’ capable, but we still come from a generation of men who looked after women. Its hard to shake even with Sire’s like ours. The Slayer don’t need lookin’ after an’ she’s proven it time an’ time again. She even sent you to hell. You’re not needed an’ it rankles, don’t it Peaches, whether you admit it or not.”

“You’re way off the mark, Spike.” Angel crossed the room pushing past Spike and making his way to the kitchen, he felt claustrophobic all of a sudden.

“I’d say I was right on the mark, Angel,” Spike headed for the front door already sick to the back teeth of Angel and his crap.

“Just leave Willow alone.”

Spike turned back to the kitchen his eyes hot with anger. “You leave her alone, Angel.”

“Huh?”

“All this concern for your girl’s best friend, doesn’t sit right somehow. You want her for yourself, that it? Slayer not woman enough for you?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Angel couldn’t deny that Spike looked pretty intimidating standing there in the doorway with his eyes flashing to that strange mixture of man and demon. He genuinely felt it wouldn’t take much to cause Spike to rip his heart out.

“You’re gettin’ a bit obsessed with my girl is what I’m on about. Wasn’t enough for you to ‘ave Dru you wanna try an’ take Willow too. Well you go ahead an’ try mate,” Spike challenged. “See how far you get.”

Angel squeezed his eyes shut, striving for patience. “I don’t feel that way about Willow.”

“Sounds like you do.” So far as Spike was concerned how could anyone not feel something extra special for an extra special girl.

“Well I don’t,” Angel snapped.

Spike scowled, he had a lot of trust issues where Angelus was concerned. Angelus had always made it his mission in unlife to take everything that meant anything to Spike. “Bet the Slayer won’t be too pleased to ‘ear you’re makin’ goo goo eyes at her best friend. Might even send you back to hell, it has no fury like a woman scorned an’ all that rot.”

“I’m not in love with Willow!”

“Good. Lets keep it that way.” Spike said nothing more, he simply turned and walked out of the house. He needed to see his girl and he needed to see her now; only then would he feel that sense of calm and contentment Willow brought out in him.

Angel let him go, he felt he’d do better with Spike out of his face. He went into the study looking for a drink, he needed something other than pigs blood to calm the shaking of his insides. Angel had an unsettling feeling that Spike had unearthed something that was better left buried but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was.

Pouring himself a shot of whisky Angel sank down in a leather wingback chair and stared unseeingly at the wall the whisky sending a pleasant burning down this throat. Spike always did rub him up the wrong way, he was a complete pain the ass and never listened even when he was offered good advice. He was unpredictable, his emotions ruled him sometimes as much as he tried to deny it. Spike bothered Angel on so many levels. It was undeniable that Spike was vicious and evil, Angel knew he was, but he could feel too; Spike could love with a passion unequalled even without a soul. Now that he had a soul it bothered Angel a lot to think that when he was without one he didn’t feel anything other than the desire to inflict pain and misery on everyone in his orbit.

Spike was different, he had always been different and where Angelus would ridicule him Angel envied him.

Spike was a wild card, you never could tell what he was going to do next, whether his head or his heart would make the decision for him. Angel felt that most of the time Spike’s reactions came as much of a surprise to Spike as they did to everyone else.

When Spike had helped him with The First Evil Angel had seen William in him. Spike hated his useless human counterpart Angel knew, but he didn’t. William wasn’t as dead and buried as Spike would like him to be. William emerged a lot around Drusilla, he was reemerging now that Spike had a slice of Willow’s soul in him. It was William’s generosity and kindness that had prompted Spike to try and help him, although Angel knew Spike would deny it to the very last.

Spike had been right, he was jealous in his own way. Spike was like a force of nature, untamable, destructive and beautiful. Everything he did he did whole heartedly whether it was the torture of a victim or loving a woman. Spike’s love and passion could be lethal, an almost toxic thing, for feelings so powerful had the ability to take over not just Spike, but the person to whom they were directed. Still, Angel couldn’t help wondering what it would be like to be loved so completely.  

“Oh…!” Angel’s eyes widened and his grip on the glass tightened until it shattered in his hand as realisation slammed through him; it wasn’t Spike he was jealous of, it was Willow.

 

XxX

 

Willow’s house was blazing with lights, it shone like a beacon calling him home and Spike quickened his pace along the sidewalk. He paused when the front door opened and he saw Faith standing there. She had her back to him calling for Willow to have a good time. He couldn’t hear what, if anything, Willow said in response, but a moment later Faith shut the door and jumped the last step off the porch.

Faith sensed a vampire near and her head whipped up ready to search for the threat in the darkness. She blinked in surprise to see Spike standing there in full view. She should have expected it to be him really.

“Spike.”

“Slayer.” She sauntered towards him her hands at the small of her back so that her breasts jutted forward enticingly. Spike’s eyes never left her face, Faith gave him points for that.

“I got one thing to say to you. You hurt Willow in any way you’ll be praying for a stake to the heart before I’m even half way finished with you.”

The threat in itself meant little to Spike, he’d killed two Slayers after all, but he appreciated the sentiment behind it. Faith was standing up for her friend and yet still allowing Willow to make her own decisions. Something told him the other Slayer wouldn’t be so considerate. “Hurtin’ Willow is the last thing on my mind.”

Faith believed him, as odd as it seemed. She was under no illusions that Spike could lie his way out of a room with no doors if he wanted to, but something told her he was sincere, and she chose to trust her gut instinct. She shifted her weight awkwardly from foot to foot before she spoke again trying to find the right words for what she wanted to say; they wouldn’t come, she had never been very good at finding the right words.

“Somethin’ else you wanna say to me?”

“Yeah, um, be careful with Willow. Remember the kind of girl you’re dealing with…” Faith paused, it probably wouldn’t be right to come out and tell him of Willow’s plans just in case she changed her mind. “She’s a good girl, um, you know, innocent about a lot of things. She needs to be handled carefully.”

Spike was confused and it showed. “Slayer, what the hell are you on about?”

“You’ll understand by the end of the night,” she said cryptically and gave him a nod before walking away.

Spike watched her leave and shook his head. “Slayer’s are crazy birds.” He went into the house calling for Willow as he did so.

“I’ll be right there, Spike.”

“Take your time, pet. I’m just gonna ‘ave a drink.” Spike went to the liquor cabinet in the living room and poured himself a scotch. He wished he had never gone back to Crawford Street, Angel always knew just what to say and do to get on his last nerve. Ponce!

“I’m ready when you are, Spike.” He felt her behind him, she didn’t have to speak, it was a combination of her quiet breathing, her steady heart beat and that delicious scent of wild strawberries, magic and Willow.

Spike turned and almost choked on the scotch. His eyes widened and his lips parted in a soundless moan of desire. “You’re bloody gorgeous, pet.”

Willow smiled shyly her eyelashes sweeping down for a moment and her hands smoothing along the front of the dress. “It’s new, Faith helped me pick it out.”

“She’s got good taste.” Spike’s eyes swept over her from head to toe and back again causing a blush to stain Willow’s cheeks. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to the way Spike could look at her with such intensity.

The red dress called to him, affected him deep in his core. The scooped neck showed the barest hint of the gentle slope of her breasts, the thin spaghetti straps left the pale skin of her neck, shoulders and arms all delightfully bare. It hugged her hips snugly and ended a little above her knee exposing those lovely long legs, every creamy inch of them teasing him without knowing it, begging to be touched and climbed.

And there, nestled into the apple of her cleavage for all the world to see was the necklace he had given her for Christmas.

She was so different to the frightened girl he had kidnapped and terrorised and cried to what felt like light years ago. She had allowed outside influences such as himself and Faith to help her blossom and explore a side to herself she had kept hidden all this time; maybe she hadn’t realised it existed, but it certainly did now.

She was willing to flout the rules now, to bend them and ignore them as best suited her needs at any given time. She put herself first and didn’t pander to the Slayer the way Angel did; sickening was what it was! More than that, she didn’t just include him in her life she actively made room for him, carved out a place that was just for him, just for them, separate and apart from the Slayer and her other friends; nobody had ever done anything like that for him before.

“Lets get goin’, sweet.”

Spike said very little on the way to Willy’s, he let Willow talk and didn’t complain that she talked a lot about Faith and how she had spent her day at the beach. He remembered her speaking of Matt and Logan and relaxed when she expressed no wish to head back to the beach herself to see them.

He made the appropriate replies, enjoying her closeness, the way she slid her arm through his and brushed against him as she walked; but his mind was on Angel. The bloody wanker had done all he could to drive a wedge in his relationship with Dru. Angelus had been at his happiest when he was proving that nothing belonged to Spike, not even Drusilla, his own Sire. Drusilla had loved him, Spike knew she had, but Angelus had a hold over her Spike couldn’t even make a dent in never mind break. Angel may have his soul now but he was still a demon; he still had the demon’s nature and instincts whether Angel liked to acknowledge that or not. Women had always succumbed to the wondrous charms of Angel whether he was a drunken human lout or an evil vampire, why would the soul be any different?

It made him ache, it made his temper flare and his instinctive, natural urge to fight rise to the surface. He hadn’t exactly rolled over where Dru and Angelus were concerned, but he hadn’t fought tooth and nail for exclusive ownership of Dru’s love either; mostly because he knew he was wedged in on the margins were Dru and Angelus were concerned, he knew, even though she had sired him, Drusilla would always love Angelus first.

Angel would not take Willow away from him too.

 

XxX

Willy’s was mostly empty when they arrived. Willy greeted them with loud cheerful tones letting his clients know in no uncertain terms who the vampire was and challenging him would not be in their best interests.

“Something nice and sweet, huh?” Willy asked smiling at Willow when she came up to the bar.

“Yes please.”

“Beer,” Spike said when Willy lifted questioning eyebrows in his direction. He took Willow to a corner booth but didn’t call for cards this time, he’d never concentrate on the game when she was sitting opposite him looking the way she did. She was beautiful, maybe not in the conventional sense, but she was beautiful nonetheless and so unaware of it that it was mystifying and precious all at once.

“Are you alright, Spike? You’ve been very quiet?” Willow had a thing about silence, she liked to fill it and usually found herself filling it with a lot of useless, ridiculous babble. She was doubly nervous tonight knowing how she wanted the night to end and trying to find a way of getting them there. She didn’t have the confidence of a love spell behind her or the comforting familiarity of knowing Spike as well as she did Xander when she had thrown herself at him; only to be rejected.

“’M fine, love. Angel put me in a bit of a mood is all, nothin’ for you to worry about.”

Her lips pursed and she shook her head a look of amusement on her face. “Is it necessary that you fight with Angel every chance you get?”

“Completely necessary.” Spike grinned. “Somebody needs to put him in his place.”

“I don’t think you hate Angel as much as you pretend to,” she said decisively.

“You don’t huh?” he looked amused.

“No. If you did then you never would have helped him. You were pretty worried about him no matter what you might claim now.”

She looked so pleased at having figured him out that Spike couldn’t help chuckling a little. “I’d hate for you to get the wrong idea ‘bout me, love. That was more you than me.”

“Me?”

“Your soul kickin’ into gear an’ decidin’ old Angel was worth savin’.”

“Uh huh,” she nodded and took a sip of her drink. “It had nothing to do with you at all. I think you’d both be very upset if something happened to the other.”

“There’s somethin’ in that, love. Not ashamed to say I was a bit upset the Slayer took out Angelus, always figured I’d be the one to do that an’ blondie beat me to it.”

Willow laughed. “Spike, you can deny it all you like, but you wouldn’t really want anything to happen to Angel any more than he would want anything to happen to you. You’re family, you have decade’s worth of history together, you can’t tell me you don’t form bonds when you’ve been together for that long.”

Spike pouted instead of replying. He didn’t really want to get into it. His history with Angelus was complicated, sometimes he liked Angelus and other times he was plotting his demise; but he couldn’t deny they had all, Dru, Darla and himself included, felt the loss of Angelus when he had finally left them all for good after the return of his soul.

“You don’t have to say anything, we don’t have to talk about it,” Willow said hastily. “The way we feel about our family can be complicated. I’m just trying to get a better picture of you. I mean, um, well, I don’t know much about you other than what I’ve read in the Watcher’s Diaries and what little Angel has told us. I… I want to know you, Spike.”

The simple honestly touched him and Spike had the sudden urge to please her and give her what she wanted. Reaching out he took her hand, bringing it to his mouth he kissed her fingers letting his lips hover over her pulse. “Spike fact number one, I like the feel of your pulse on my lips, it tells me things about you without words.”

Willow’s breath caught in her throat and her heart picked up speed.

“Spike fact number two, I like the taste of your skin,” his tongue flickered across the tips of her fingers. “And I wanna taste every inch of you.”

“Spike!” she hissed shooting a look over her shoulder towards the other demons. They weren’t sitting close to each other but she knew a lot of demons, not just vampire’s, had enhanced hearing. Her free hand touched her flushed cheek; it seemed he never ran out of ways to make her blush.

Spike grinned, a low chuckle vibrating in his throat. “They can’t hear me, love.”

Willow’s stomach tightened, her pulse beat rapidly against his caressing thumb and the flush of arousal spread down her throat to stain her chest and the swell of her breasts; Spike’s eyes darkened and his fingers tightened their hold on her hand.

“Know what I’d do right now if you’d let me?” He nibbled gently on the pad of her thumb. She shook her head watching him with wide eyes. “I’d set you on this very table,” he patted it with his free hand. “Hike that new dress of yours round your hips…” he kept her fingers against his lips, his voice quivering against her skin. “… push your knickers out of the way and spread your legs… wide…” she was breathing heavily, causing an alluring rise and fall of her chest. “…. And taste you, slide my tongue inside you an’ be part of you.”

“Spike.”

It was a soft moan and coupled with the tantalising scent of her arousal Spike lost control, his face shifting to its natural state, yellow eyes glowing with an unholy light.

“Spike, hey, and Willow, you came back!”

The greeting broke Spike out of his lustful haze and he looked up as Johnny came over to them all torn jeans and loud shirt of him. As soon as he came close enough Johnny’s face changed as he too caught the scent of Willow’s arousal. He had enough sense to stop moving forward and instead took a step back, he knew enough about Spike to know attacking his girl wasn’t going to end well for him.

“I’ll be at the bar,” Johnny gestured unnecessarily and returned to Willy.

Confused Willow looked to Spike for an explanation. “That was weird.”

Spike decided not to tell her the truth it would only upset and embarrass her and he didn’t want that. Instead he shrugged and stood up still holding her hand, he gave her a little tug. “Never mind him. Fancy a dance, love?”

She got to her feet and he handed her some quarters. Leaning in to her he spoke quietly in her ear. “Somethin’ nice an’ slow, pet. Wanna feel you all pressed up against me.”

Willow swallowed and nodded. Reluctantly she pulled her hand from his and went to the jukebox while Spike went to the bar.

“Hey, um about that,” Johnny rubbed the back of his neck an awkward look on his face. “Didn’t mean nothing by it, Spike.”

“Just remember who she belongs to. You forget that, even for a second, an’ you won’t see another sunset.”

“I won’t,” Johnny said hastily. “She took me by surprise that’s all. I weren’t expecting it and when you get hit with a scent like that…” he trailed off as Spike’s expression turned furious. “Yours, Spike,” he held up his hands in a sign of surrender. “I know, she’s yours.”

“How about a game, Spike?” Willy asked hoping to defuse the tension.

“Got somethin’ better to do,” Spike said watching Willow come back towards him. She’d selected Elvis again and he King’s dulcet tones singing _I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You_ filled the barroom. If she had only chosen that song for a reason other than the fact Elvis had sung it!

“Do you still want …?”

“I do,” Spike said sweeping her into his arms and pulling her close. “Take any excuse to hold you, sweet.”

“You don’t need an excuse, Spike. You, um, you only have to say,” she peered at him through her lashes.

“That right?”

He looked pleased and she relaxed a little more in his arms.

“I don’t really know how to dance,” Willow admitted.

“I thought you liked dancin’ pet?”

“Oh I suppose I do. I dance with Buffy and Xander at The Bronze, its just that I’ve never really been all that comfortable on the dance floor where everyone can see me.”

Spike snorted. “That ain’t dancin’ that’s jumpin’ around. Real dancin’ requires a lot more skill than that.”

“You mean like waltzing and the foxtrot and that kind of dancing? Spike,” her face lit up with the delight of a new discovery. “Can you dance like that?”

“Course I can. All well-bred gentlemen learnt how to dance proficiently. It was expected. I learnt other dances over the years as they grew an’ changed with the decades, so yeah, I can dance, love.”

“Gentleman? Were you rich when you were a human?”

“Probably not by today’s standards, but yeah, I was pretty well off when I was alive,” Spike admitted. He drew her closer, pressing his body into hers. His lips quirked when she gave a small gasp at the sensation of his erection pressing into her belly. “I’d say sorry but I’m not, I like the affect you ‘ave on me.”

“Do you like dancing?” Willow had the feeling it was better for both of them to stick to safer subjects than the way they affected each other. Now was not the time to proposition Spike.

“I like to dance with a purpose, I don’t just dance for the sake of it.”

She looked at him curiously. “I don’t understand what you mean.”

“Well, take the rumba for instance, the dance of love; all that intense hip swayin’ an’ steamy eye contact with lots of flirtin’ an’ teasin’. You’re goin’ somewhere with a dance like that. Spike fact number three, I like flirtin’ an’ teasin’. “

“Maybe you could teach me?” She quite liked the idea of dancing like that with Spike.

His tongue tucked into his cheek and he smirked. “Flirtin’ an’ teasin’? It’ll be my pleasure, pet.”

Her breathing turned shallow. “I… I meant the dancing,” she whispered, her breath sticking in her throat.

“That would lead to mutual pleasure, love, so ‘m more than ‘appy to teach you.”

XxX

 

Buffy was getting ready to patrol when Xander stormed into the library a look of pure indignation on his face and began to complain. “I just don’t know what’s happening to her. She just stood there, _stood there_ and let Faith throw me out of the door. She threw me out, literally, _threw_ me out of the door!”

Giles looked up from the book he was reading. “Faith threw you somewhere?”

“Out of Willow’s house.”

“Well, you must have done something to deserve it,” Giles said reasonably. “Willow wouldn’t allow that to happen if you hadn’t upset her in some way.”

Xander scowled. “I didn’t do anything much. I was just trying to get her to see how things were but she didn’t want to know and she shouted at me. And alright,” he said grudgingly. “I may have said something not so good, but I didn’t mean it the way it sounded but they wouldn’t let me explain, Faith just threw me out. _Threw me out_!”

Buffy’s lips twitched. “You aren’t letting that go any time soon are you?”

“I dunno who she thinks she is treating me like a bag of garbage,” Xander scowled. He was halfway across the library when he froze his jaw dropping opening. For reasons unknown it came to him now, he saw it as clearly as he had the other night, but with everything else that was going on Xander hadn’t really been paying enough attention to take it all in at the time. “They were holding hands!”

A gleam associated with interesting gossip came to Buffy’s eyes. “Who were?”

“The night Angel flipped out, they were holding hands!”

Giles exchanged an eye roll with Buffy. “Who are we talking about now?”

Xander made a noise of exasperation. “Willow and Spike!”

XxX

The dancing became a little too much; hips moving together, Spike’s thigh shifting between hers pressing up against her and her warm breath on his neck enflamed the heat between them even more. Spike’s hold became a little too tight and Willow’s pupils dilated so much her eyes were black and Spike became concerned her scent was going to prove too much for the other occupants of the bar as well as himself.

Johnny took over the jukebox and Willow felt she had been flung back into the sixties, she wondered if that was Johnny’s era but she didn’t pry into his personal life. She did, once she had calmed down, dance with him, but it was nothing like the dancing she had done with Spike. Dancing with Johnny was the jumping around Spike had been scornful of, but she actually felt much more comfortable doing it after the heat with Spike. Willow was now positive a person could burn from the inside out.

“I’ll get you a drink,” Johnny said as he let Willow take a breather and slide back into the booth. He sashayed up to the bar where Spike was leaning getting another beer and smoking a cigarette. “I told Willow I’d get her a drink, if its okay with you?”

Spike nodded and gestured to get Willy’s attention. “You seen Clem about?”

“Not today,” Johnny replied. “Shall I pass a message on?”

“Nah, just wonderin’.”

“What can I get ya?” Willy asked.

“Whatever Willow’s been drinking and a rum and coke for me,” Johnny said his foot tapping along to _Needles and Pins_. “You’re always in the know ‘round here right?”

Spike shrugged. “Mostly. Why?”

“You heard anything about an ascension? Been some rumblings underground that its coming but I can’t find out much about it.”

“Ascension?” Spike was intrigued, Angel hadn’t mentioned anything and neither had Willow so he was willing to bet this wasn’t something the Slayer was part of. “Can’t say I’ve heard anythin’ ‘bout an ascension. This a good thing or a bad thing?”

Johnny made a face. “Not sure. Guess it depends what side you’re on.”

“Usually does.” Spike turned and looked at Willow through a cloud of smoke. Whatever it was he wanted to make sure Willow was safe through it all. “Keep your ear to the ground, yeah. Let me know what you find out.”

“Course I will.” Johnny was only too pleased to be of help to a vampire like Spike. An association with Spike would only improve his standing in the demon community and give him a name to trade on.

“Ascension,” Spike murmured taking another drag of his cigarette. “Probably a loada bollocks.”

 

 

 


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

 

 

“Is Johnny from the sixties?” Willow asked. Dawn was approaching as she and Spike left Willy’s and headed for home. She’d had a good night, although she was disappointed not to see Clem again.

 

“Don’t know, never asked. Why?”

 

Willow shrugged. “Just wondering.” She slipped her arm through Spike’s resting her head comfortably on his shoulder. She had danced a lot again tonight and she was hot and sticky, the night air was cool on her skin. “I like him.”

 

“He’s alright. Not as annoyin’ as most.”

 

“Do you like him better than Angel?” she sneaked a look at him and grinned impishly.

 

Spike grinned back. “Like the Slayer more than I like Angel.”

 

She laughed and hugged his arm to her chest. “Spike?”

 

“Hum?”

 

“Will you tell me another Spike fact? A proper one this time,” she added, poking him in the ribs.

 

“You don’t count what I’ve told you so far as proper facts ‘bout me?” he glanced down at her wondering at the way her mind worked.

 

“No,” she pouted slightly. “They don’t really tell me anything about you.”

 

“They tell you a lot ‘bout me, love.” She was the smart one of the group he knew that, Angelus had told him so, although Spike figured he only need five minutes with the Slayer and her little gang to see that for himself. How did she not see his Spike facts revealed more to her than any old Watcher Diaries could? Did she not see how vulnerable they left him to her rejection and disgust? Did she not see that to tell her those things proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was willing to trust her and trust her with his heart?

 

“Not really, I don’t know your favourite colour for instance…oh, well, black,” she said indicating his clothing.

 

“Red actually.”

 

“Well see,” she frowned up at him. “I didn’t know that. Just like I don’t know what kind of music you like, or your favourite country to visit or if there’s something in the world you haven’t actually done yet.”

 

Spike smiled and patted her hand. “I like The Sex Pistols, there’s nowhere quite like home an’ there’s probably a fair few things I ‘aven’t got ‘round to doin’ yet.”

 

Like her; he hadn’t got around to being with her yet. But he had time.

 

“I’ve never heard of The Sex Pistols, I’ve never been to England and there’s so many things I want to try.” She gave a little sigh. “I don’t expect I’ll ever get to England or do any of those other things I think about. It’ll be hard to defend the Hellmouth from over there.”

 

He looked down at her in amazement, she would give up her dreams to stay here with the Slayer? “It’s not your fight.” He couldn’t help sounding annoyed, he’d had it all worked out in his head; take her away from the Hellmouth, let her live a good, safe, life away from the daily threat of death, help her with her witchy powers, and turn her and keep her with him forever. Gone was the plan of using her to taunt Drusilla, he wanted something better than that; he wanted to live again and he could do it through Willow. He would give her the world and see it anew through her eyes and her discoveries.

 

“We’re friends. We’re a team. We fight together, that’s the way it is. Except,” she paused and bit her bottom lip, “sometimes I feel like I want to break free from it all. Forget everything in Sunnydale and go to university and learn and have a career and a life that doesn’t involve demons and death and Hellmouth stuff.”

 

“You… you plannin’ on givin’ up all demons, pet?”

 

She looked up at him and smiled; it was like a ray of sunshine in his dark world. “No, not all demons. Maybe I’ll ask Angel along.”

 

“You take that back!”

 

She laughed and darted away from his wiggling fingers intent on tickling her until she begged for mercy. She was no match for his reflexes and Spike caught her easily, his fingers burying themselves into the soft flesh around her ribs and she squirmed in his grasp rubbing against him in all kinds of delicious ways.

 

“I take it back! I take it back, Spike!” Panting and smiling she allowed him to draw her to his side. Tucked under his arm she snuggled into him no longer caring how hot she was. “You told me Angel was a farmer…”

 

“Somethin’ like that,” Spike said with a smile. “More like a drunken womanizer, but go on.”

 

Her eyes got wide and a look of disbelief crossed her face. “Angel? But he barely speaks to Buffy and he loves her. ”

 

“He was different back then. Human Angel was different to souled Angel; or so he said.”

 

“And you?” Her hand smoothed over his chest. “What did you do when you were human?”

 

“Not a lot,” he replied honestly.

 

“Lazy bones,” she chided and he chuckled. “Didn’t you have a job?”

 

“We had money, I looked after our interests. It’s what men did back in the day.” He said a silent prayer she wouldn’t poke into his human life too much. He wasn’t yet ready to reveal his poetic secret to her.

 

“We? Did…. Were….you had a wife?” It hurt, she realised, although it shouldn’t. It was over a hundred years since Spike had been human, she was nowhere near being born, it shouldn’t matter if he’d had a wife and maybe children too; but it did matter. It brought out a nasty jealous streak Willow wasn’t sure what to do with.

 

Spike heard it, that note of pain in her tone, that little catch in her throat and the tightening of her body telling him the idea of his being married mattered to her and mattered a great deal. “No. I meant my mother. Just mother an’ me.”

 

“Oh.” Willow felt the tension easing out of her shoulders and she relaxed against him a little bit more. “Were you an only child?”

 

“I was, pet. Just like you.”

 

“Did…” she paused and bit her lip again. There was a part of her warning that she might not like the answer to her next question, but there was another part of her which needed to know, although she couldn’t say exactly why. “Did you have a… what would you call it….a sweetheart?”

 

Looking up at him Willow was surprised to see his jaw clench. There was a flash of something she couldn’t recognise in his eyes and a look she couldn’t identify settled over his face. “No,” he said tightly.

 

There was a story there Willow could tell, but she didn’t push it. Instead she squeezed him tightly in the hopes of making him smile again, or at the very least get that frightening look off his face. It worked, Spike’s face smoothed out as his arm tightened around her.

 

Leaning over her Spike pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head quietly breathing her in as he did so. He wondered what she would say if he told her how pathetic a man he had been. She knew him as Spike, vicious and strong and able to protect her from anything; William was the complete opposite. Would he go down in her estimations if she knew how completely useless William had been as a man and a human being in general? Spike closed his eyes for a moment and held her a little tighter; he couldn’t bare it if she looked at him differently upon learning the truth about his humanity.

 

While Spike brooded in what he considered a perfect imitation of Angel, Willow’s mind was working busily. She figured she would invite him in when they got to her house and ask him to stay with her again, he hadn’t minded that. When they were in bed perhaps she could find the right words, or maybe the right move would come to her and Spike would just get the hint and do the rest. A little shiver worked itself over her body, when Spike kissed her she felt it down to her toes, what would it be like to make love with him? She wanted to know and she wanted to know tonight.

 

All her plans went out the window when they arrived at her house. Willow stopped short her jaw dropping open in shock. The lights were on and the car was in the driveway telling her that her parents were home and had been shopping. It was a nightmare! It was the worst thing to happen; ever!

 

“Oh!”

 

The disappointment in her tone drew Spike’s attention and he followed her line of vision frowning at the house. “What’s goin’ on?”

 

“My parents. They’re home. They’re early, they’re never early.” Willow scowled, of all the dumb bad luck.

 

“Guess I’d better just drop you at the door then, pet. Like a good little suitor,” he added mockingly.

 

“No! I mean,” she flushed a little. “I, um, I wanted you to stay.”

 

Spike smiled, smoothing her hair from her face he took her chin in his hand and tilted her head back. “There’ll be other nights, love.” She looked so disgruntled that he wanted to make her smile again. Closing the distance between them Spike pressed a light kiss to her lips.

 

Catching hold of the lapels of his duster Willow used him for leverage. Swinging up to her tip toes she chased his lips kissing him soundly. Spike’s arms slid around her pulling her closer, deepening the kiss as her lips parted willingly for him.

 

She made a sound, a little trapped moan in the back of her throat and Spike’s body surged in response. Hauling her even closer his tongue swept her mouth, stroking against hers, devouring her slowly.

 

Spike was like an addiction, if she didn’t see him every few hours she felt lonely and a fear would grip her that he had left Sunnydale never to return. When they were together all Willow could think about was Spike; loving him, touching him, doing naughty things to excite him.

 

Spike pressed a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth. His tongue stroked along her bottom lip, pleased when her lips parted in response and her arms tightened around him silently asking for more. Drawing her bottom lip into his mouth Spike nibbled lightly, tugging on the soft, moist cushion, pulling it further into his mouth with a small sound of pleasure; her proximity was sheer torture to his self-control.

 

He drew back to allow her to breathe.

 

She made a little dreamy sound. “I so didn’t plan for you.”

 

His lips twitched into a smirk. “You plan everythin’, pet?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Too bad. No more plans, love, we go with it. Do as we please. Providin’ we’re pleasin’ each other.’ He teased the shell of her ear with the tip of his tongue catching the lobe between his teeth and biting down lightly.

 

Willow liked to plan things out, she liked to know where she was and where she was going and what she was doing; but planning required thinking and Spike had robbed her of the ability to think past his next kiss.

 

The kiss when it came was hard and deep. He growled against her mouth, his tongue clashing with hers, demanding surrender and submission and Willow gave him what he needed with every breath and every heartbeat.

 

“Spike.”

 

“Hum?” He kissed her forehead watching her eyes drift shut as she absorbed the impression of his lips on her skin. “What is it, pet?”

 

“Giles has some books, magic books. Amy gave them to him.”

 

“I don’t know who she is, love,” he reminded her.

 

“Oh, I forgot. She’s in school with us and she’s a witch. She helps us sometimes and we’ve helped her too. She gave magic books to Giles, her mother was a very powerful witch and Amy thought there might be something in them to help with reversing the spell and getting my soul out of you.”

 

Spike stilled, rolling the idea around in his head for a moment. He wasn’t sure he liked it, the soul wasn’t causing him too much trouble or discomfort and he had to admit he was afraid the return of her whole soul would change the way she looked at him.

 

“If they found something in the books Giles would cast the spell, they wouldn’t care what we thought. I asked Faith to help me,” Willow paused catching her bottom lip between her teeth; she shivered, the ghostly sensation of Spike’s teeth, of Spike’s lip attached to hers washing over her.

 

“Help you do what?” Spike pressed when her eyes glazed over and she drifted away from him.

 

“Oh, um, she said she’d take the books from Giles. Remove them from the equation until we had a chance to talk.”

 

“What do you want to talk about exactly?” he regarded her curiously, her mind was a complex thing, it worked in a completely different way to anyone else’s.

 

Willow didn’t answer immediately, she took the time to think about her response. Babbling right now wouldn’t do her any favours, she should be honest with Spike, tell him what she had told Faith. “I know you’re mad about the soul and you have every reason to be…”

 

“Not so mad anymore,” Spike admitted. “It’s not as inconvenient as I thought it was gonna be.”

 

She smiled, her hand caressing his shoulder through the worn leather of his coat. “Maybe not, but we don’t know what’s going to happen the longer you’re stuck with it. It might affect you more as time goes on.”

 

Strange how she was thinking this now, it hadn’t occurred to her before, the lingering affect half a soul might have on Spike. It was enough for her that at the moment he wasn’t hurting and they had such a special connection. It was selfish of her to want to stay like this when there was no guarantee Spike wouldn’t, at some point in the future, feel the kind of pain and misery Angel did. That was the last thing Willow wanted for Spike.

 

“No, we don’t know that.” A small frown puckered his brow, Spike just couldn’t see where she was going with this.

 

She wanted to tell Spike the truth, that if Faith was able to seal the books for her they could stay this way, sharing a soul, sharing this connection to each other. She wanted to tell him it was what she would like best. If they removed her soul from him Willow was terrified any feelings Spike had for her would go with it.

 

Willow let out a sigh and waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. “It doesn’t matter. Never mind.”

 

“It does matter. You’ve got somethin’ you wanna say, now spit it out, pet. What’s botherin’ you ‘bout these books?”

 

“If they found a reversal spell then they’d cast it, they wouldn’t care if there was any danger to you, they’d do it anyway. If it worked I really can’t see Buffy letting you walk out of Sunnydale again and I have the feeling Angel will back her up. I don’t want anything to happen to you, Spike. I asked Faith to bring me the books so I can check them out first and if there is a potential problem with a reversal spell, if there’s even a spell in the books, we’ll figure it out then.”

 

It wasn’t a complete lie, the parts about Buffy and Angel were true and there was a possibility one or both of them could face potential danger if a spell was found.

 

“So desperate to get rid of me.” Spike couldn’t contain the note of bitterness in his voice. Over a hundred and twenty years old and he had read the entire situation wrong. She might enjoy trading kisses with him but she clearly had no wish to keep him around for the long haul. Trying to keep him alive was one thing, but she made no mention of them being together reversal spell or no reversal spell. Maybe she knew, maybe deep down inside she knew that once her soul was restored she wouldn’t see him in the same light and she would rather not get too attached to him if she could help it.

 

“No,” she shook her head, her voice low. “When I think about you leaving its like I can’t breathe.”

 

Darn, she hadn’t meant to say that out loud, but there was no taking it back now.

 

“That right?”

 

“I like you, Spike.”

 

“I like you too.” Taking her chin between his thumb and forefinger Spike tilted her head back to examine her face. She looked confused more than anything and a little sad. “I want you, pet, you know I do. And I know you want me too.”

 

“Yes.” He didn’t know how much she wanted him.

 

“We don’t need to ‘ave it all figured out right now, do we? This reversal spell,” Spike said, testing the water.

 

“We don’t know there is a reversal spell,” she reminded him. “But no, we don’t need the answers right now.”

 

Moving her hands from his shoulders to wrap her arms around his neck Willow hugged him tightly, needing to feel close to him after all that talk about separation, for that was what it boiled down to, a separation of her soul from Spike and it made her cold all over.

 

Slightly surprised by the tightness of her embrace Spike hugged her back, pressing her into his body and dropping his head down to bury his face where her neck met her shoulder. His lips brushed over her skin, blunt teeth nipping at her neck and his chest tightened when she didn’t even flinch at having a vampire at her throat. It screamed of acceptance whether she knew it or not.

 

Willow’s eyes drifted shut when he started to mouth her neck, sucking her skin, using his tongue to stimulate the flow of blood to the surface, his teeth scraping gently back and forth. It didn’t frighten her, she didn’t mind if he wanted to bite her, she trusted Spike enough not to kill her.

 

She gave a little involuntary moan and gasped when she heard the shift of muscle and bone beside her ear as Spike vamped out. Excited anticipation had her stomach clenching and she had a growing awareness of his cock stirring to life against her stomach and an answering wetness between her legs. If he wanted her now, here, on the front lawn, Willow knew she’d be powerless to resist him and would welcome him into her body with an eagerness that was making her breathing turn shallow.

 

The sound of the front door opening didn’t register with Willow, but her father’s voice did. He wasn’t talking to her but standing in the doorway having a conversation with her mother who was still inside the house somewhere.

 

Willow’s mouth popped open in an O of disappointment. “Why do they have to be here now?”

 

Her frustrated muttering made Spike smirk. “Want me to kill him?”

 

His response had the desired effect of making her giggle and she pressed her face into his shoulder to stifle the sound. Cupping the back of his head she brought him in for a kiss. “Don’t want you to go. I want you to stay, Spike.”

 

“Wanna stay too,” he murmured, his eyes closing as her lips made their way across his face. “Wanna tumble you right ‘ere on the grass.” He stepped back deeper into the shadows. “Wanna be inside you. Wanna feel you all around me.”

 

“Yes,” she breathed against his mouth. “Yes, Spike.”

 

The trunk of the tree against her back surprised her, Willow hadn’t realised they’d moved so far from the sidewalk. Her mother had always disliked this particular tree claiming it blocked the light in her study. Although Willow was at a loss as to how her mother could really care, she was hardly around to spend much time in the study.

 

His hands framed her face, his body pinning her securely to the tree trunk as he finger combed her hair from her face. Spike groaned as she shifted against him, unconsciously pressing against his erection and causing his jeans to rub over his cock in all the right ways. She was clutching at him, her fingers digging into his skull as she kissed him hard and hungry, mindless of his fangs and ridges.

 

Uncurling her fingers from his hair Willow’s hands dropped to his shoulders; moving down and over his chest, desperate to touch him, to feel the hard lines of his body against her own.

 

Catching her wrists Spike pulled her hands away from him, she couldn’t know how dangerous it was for her to touch him right now. He was teetering on the edge of self-control and it wouldn’t take much for him to fall over and do something everyone would regret.

 

Resting his body against hers Spike watched her with heavy lidded eyes as she squirmed towards him, trying to get as much contact between them as possible. Her eyes were fever bright, pupils dilated and her breath caught in her throat when she felt his hand slid up the inside of her thigh.

 

Spike’s own chest was rising and falling in a parody of breathing, he was busy taking in her scent, from the rush of her blood to the heady scent of her arousal; he swam in it all.

 

Parting her legs even more Willow’s hips shifted towards his searching fingers, her heart hammering nine to the dozen in her ears. Finally he touched her, his hand curling around her, the lace of her underwear rough against his skin as he held her cradled in his palm.

 

“Bloody hell.” Spike’s eyes closed, fingers flexing. “So wet you are, baby. All for me, hum?” he whispered against her ear, his eyes rolling back and his nipples tightening as he absorbed the heat flaring between her legs.

 

She strained against the cool, strong fingers which held her wrists with enough restraint to stop her touching him. Willow wanted to touch him, to feel him. With desire giving her the added courage she needed to do it she reached for him again surprised when Spike jerked her arms above her head keeping them there easily with one hand. His eyes swept over her and he made a rumbling growl of approval; her dress was rumpled, her chest heaving as she struggled to control her breathing, the flush of arousal in her cheeks and her hair tousled and tumbling around her shoulders. She looked exactly what she was, a sweet, ripe peach just waiting for him to sink his fangs into her soft, downy skin.

 

Acting on desire, arousal, want, need; riding the primitive natural instinct of the beast, Spike dipped his head his hand coming from beneath her dress to clamp over her jaw, holding it shut as his lips parted against her neck and he sank his fangs into her skin.

 

Willow jerked in his hold, pain shooting through her as he tore through flesh and muscle. It was not the erotic moment she had envisaged, it hurt. The pain coupled with the sound of satisfaction he made vibrating against her skin caused something inside her to snap and Willow broke apart her orgasm ripping through her wild and violent like a tsunami.

 

Her blood burst into his mouth like a dream, like heavenly hope and unholy communion; sweetness and darkness and innocence all wrapped up in one tasty package. Spike splintered apart, his control gone he sank his fangs in deeper, being sure to keep a firm hold on her face to stop her moving and causing even more pain than he was already giving. His own release made itself known; a ferocious rupture in his jeans, he was shaking with the force of it.

 

Her hands dropped limply to his shoulders when he released her. She struggled to get her breathing under control while he licked slowly at the mark on her neck, being sure to wipe away any trace of blood.

 

Spike’s fingers worked gently against her jaw, massaging the skin to ease the tight feeling the pressure of his hand had caused. He examined her carefully with yellow eyes that gleamed in the darkness, searching for signs of bruising. He hadn’t meant to hurt her just stop the scream attracting unwanted attention. He licked his lower lip, taking the last drop of blood into his system.

 

Willow’s eyes fluttered open and she stared up at him. He was still all grrr but she didn’t mind. He had bitten her, but she didn’t mind that either. He hadn’t been inside her; she minded that a lot.

 

“You alright, pet?” His voice was pitched low, for her ears only, loaded with satisfaction.

 

“Yes.” She reached up to touch her neck, it was a little bit sore, and there was a strange, almost throbbing underneath the skin, but it wasn’t all that bad. She was more concerned with the fact he would be leaving any minute now and returning to Angel’s. He wouldn’t be staying with her. She wouldn’t sleep in his arms again tonight and she silently cursed her parents. They weren’t meant to be back until New Year’s.

 

Spike’s head turned suddenly, he stared across the garden and Willow realised he was listening to something. It was then she heard her father’s voice and remembered he had been on the porch. Evidently he was still there.

 

Goodness, her father! He was right there. He had been right there the whole time with darkness alone separating them. She thanked God that Spike had the common sense to cover her mouth when he bit her otherwise her father would have known everything. Humiliating wasn’t the word for it!

 

“For God’s sake, Sheila, I said wait. Let me take a drive around town first and look for her. Just because she isn’t with that Bunny girl doesn’t mean something has happened to her. Sit tight and wait for me. If I don’t find her then we’ll contact the police.”

 

Willow’s eyes widened. “The police?” Pulling herself out of Spike’s grasp she smoothed down her dress and tried to bring some order to her hair.

 

“Bunny,” Spike snorted an amused glint in his eyes. He’d have to remember to use it with the Slayer when he next saw her.

 

“I’d better stop him before he goes racing off. Why would he call the police?” she frowned.

 

“Do you want me to come with you?”

 

“No!” she winced and placed a hand on his chest. “If they’re worried about me its probably best I don’t show up with the stereotypical bad boy in the small hours of the morning. You understand, don’t you?”

 

He smiled and nodded, kissing her forehead. “I’ll wait ‘ere till you go in.”

 

“Alright.” Willow stared at him for a long moment, leaving him was hard to do. “Goodnight, Spike.”

 

“’Night, love.” He wished she wasn’t leaving him.

 

With a last lingering caress to his cheek Willow turned away and scurried across the garden. “Dad! What are you doing here?”

 

“Willow!” Ira let out a breath of relief. “Where have you been?”

 

“Oh, just out. Nowhere special. I thought you weren’t coming home until New Year.” She was surprised when her father took her elbow in a firm grip and almost dragged her up the steps and into the house. She didn’t even get a chance to look back for Spike.

 

Sheila Rosenberg came hurrying out of the kitchen. She gave her daughter the once over and Willow had the distinct impression her mother didn’t approve of the dress.

 

“Where have you been?” Sheila demanded.

 

Willow shrugged. “Just out. Why?” she frowned at her mother, there was a tightness to her features which highlighted the small lines around Sheila’s eyes and mouth. “What’s the matter?”

 

“Your friend Bunny called looking for you, she wanted to make sure you were alright and no wonder, who would have thought such a thing could happen in Sunnydale.” A look of distress came to Sheila’s eyes and she rubbed her hands up her arms. “What do you think you’re doing wandering around town in the middle of the night worrying everyone senseless? Didn’t we raise you to have respect for other people? What do you have to say for yourself?”

 

Willow was so shocked she could only stare at her mother with round eyes. Her lips parted to apologise, it was her go-to reaction, apologise and try to be helpful, be polite and respectful and, her eyes narrowed slightly; be a doormat. It started slowly, like a tickle in her lower belly before exploding through her; red hot anger.

 

“I’d say it’s a bit late for the parental concern, wouldn’t you? You’re never here, you don’t know what I do, where I go at night and what time I come home. What’s going on, you’re acting all weird what with the caring and the parenting and stuff.”

 

“Something dreadful has happened,” Ira said placing a comforting arm around her shoulders. “It’s going to be upsetting for you to hear about it, come in and sit down,” he gestured towards the living room and Willow found herself wondering if he would notice Spike had been helping himself to the liquor cabinet.

 

“Just tell me already.” Looking from one disturbed parent to the other Willow felt the fingers of dread touch the back of her neck.

 

XxX

 

Spike fairly floated into the mansion, he was flying high above the world, cloud nine was a million miles below him, for the first time in a long time Spike was happy.

 

Angel heard Spike shut the door and came into the hallway to meet him. “There you are.”

 

Spike waved a hand his smile never slipping. “There’s nothin’ you can say to ruin my mood, Peaches.”

 

“Never mind your mood,” Angel said with a small huff. “Where’s Willow? Tell me you’ve been with Willow and she’s alright?”

 

“’Course she’s alright. She’s at home, her parents are back.” Spike saw Angel’s shoulders sag with relief. “Why?”

 

“Everyone’s accounted for. I’ll call Buffy and let her know. She’s been going out of her mind with worry.”

 

“But why?” Spike persisted. “What’s ‘appened now?”

 

“Come in here and sit down, Spike. I’m not sure how you’re going to react to this.” Angel led the way into the living room and pointed to the sofa. “Sit down.”

 

Spike made a face and huffed. It was just like Angel to go all cloak and dagger on him. Most likely the Slayer had her knickers in a twist because Willow was spending so much time with him. He plopped down on the sofa with his feet on the coffee table and his hands behind his head. “What’s the drama this time?”

 

“Buffy went patrolling tonight,” Angel began slowly, a spark of irritation igniting when Spike rolled his eyes a bored look crossing his face. “She was at the park and found two kids…”

 

“You runnin’ a lost an’ found now?”

 

“They were dead, Spike. Two little kids left dead in the park. Buffy said…”

 

Angel trailed off his eyes widening as he watched Spike’s face crumple. Dropping his feet to the floor Spike hunched over his knees letting out a wail of agony and despair. It was a sound Angel was familiar with, he was used to hearing it from Angelus’ victims.

 

“Spike?” He sat next to the crying vampire patting his shoulder awkwardly.

 

“How?” Spike choked out.

 

“We’re not really sure at the moment. Buffy said …”

 

“She’s bloody useless you realise that?” Spike interrupted with a scowl. “Where the hell was she when two little kids needed her, huh? Soddin’ Slayer my arse, she’s about as much use as a whore at a virgin sacrifice. And you ain’t no better, Mr Saviour of the People. Bet you were ‘ere broodin’ when someone was off killin’ innocent kids.” The tears came again, his bottom lip quivering.

 

Gingerly, Angel put an arm around Spike’s shoulder. “It’ll be alright, Spike. We’ll figure this out you’ll see.”

 

“Don’t matter what you do, you can’t bring ‘em back, Angel. You can’t make it okay again. Nothin’ can do that.”

 

“That’s true.” Angel squeezed him gently. He had spent the better half of his re-souled time wishing things could be different, that he could undo the horrors of the past. Angel knew as no one else did what was done was done and there was no going back no matter how much you might want to.

 

“Wait a minute,” Spike raised his head, small tears glittering on his cheeks reflecting the orange light from the crackling fire in the hearth. Angel liked a good fire. “Are you blamin’ me?” Spike demanded indignantly, shrugging Angel’s arm off. “That why you were so worried ‘bout Willow? You thought I’d done somethin’ to her?”

 

“No!” Angel shook his head. “That’s not what I’m saying. I know you, killing children isn’t your thing and nobody thought to connect you with it. It’s just that Buffy said the children had marks on them…” Spike made a choking noise and Angel hastened to reassure him. “I mean like a symbol, Spike. There was a symbol on them, maybe to do with witchcraft we don’t know yet and because of Willow’s powers Buffy started to panic something might have happened to her that’s all.”

 

He trailed off when it became apparent that Spike wasn’t listening, his body was shaking with harsh, ragged sobs. Again Angel reached out to Spike, putting his arm around Spike’s heaving shoulders and drawing him close so he could rest his head in the crook of Angel’s neck.

 

Angel wasn’t the best at offering comfort but he did all he could for Spike, smoothing his hair gently and murmuring softly. Angel knew it was a testament as to how much all this was upsetting Spike that he allowed the closeness.

 

Spike’s tears rolled down his cheeks and dripped off his chin to wet Angel’s neck. Angel managed to supress a shiver, but he couldn’t supress the images that flashed into his head of spreading Spike out before the fire and watching the way the flames made his pale skin glow and cast his face in shadows while Angel slid inside him and indulged in Spike.

 

His tongue swiped along his bottom lip and his cock hardened; but the image wouldn’t stay, for while Spike’s scent was strong in his nose; trapped smoke, beer, leather and something that was uniquely Spike, there was also the scent of Willow which blocked the daydream from fully forming.

 

Angel’s eyes flashed yellow in response.

 


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

 

Willow yawned as she flipped through the musty yellowing pages of Amy’s magic book. Her sleep had been constantly interrupted. The phone had been ringing off the hook, so much so that Willow had elected to turn the ringer off on the phone she kept beside her bed.

It had all steamed from the little boy and girl Buffy had found when she had been on patrol. Willow had been permitted to call Buffy and let her know she was now home safe and sound. Sheila had appeared in the doorway within five minutes a stern look on her face and an even sterner voice telling her it was time to hang up and she wasn’t to call “Bunny” again.

Buffy had overheard and it hadn’t helped improve her mood. Buffy had quietly admitted that Joyce was also taking the death of the children very hard and was vowing to do something about it. Buffy had sounded slightly annoyed at that, it was as if her own mother didn’t believe in her ability as a Slayer to keep the town safe when she had already been doing just that for three years.

“I can’t be everywhere at once.” Buffy had said a catch in her voice.

Willow was inclined to agree and had hastened to reassure her friend and after Buffy had described the symbol she had seen on the children Willow had promised to research on her laptop and call Giles with any interesting results.

She’d spent some time online but hadn’t found anything so she had decided to take a break and look for a reversal spell of some kind before hitting the internet again.

“Willow, can I come in?” Sheila knocked lightly on the bedroom door.

Shoving the book under her bed Willow sat up and smoothed the duvet before scuttling to the wicker chair in the corner and snatching up a battered copy of _Middlemarch_ off the shelf. “Yes, what is it?”

Sheila smiled as she came into the room shutting the door behind her. “I’ve been having a little chat with Joyce Summers and I have to admit that what she had to say was rather disturbing.”

It wasn’t unlike her mother to get straight to the point, no beating about the bush for Sheila Rosenberg.

“Disturbing?”

Sheila nodded folding her hands neatly in front of her. “Joyce tells me that you’ve been dabbling in the dark arts, Willow. Is this true?”

Her mother didn’t look angry, merely interested and slightly confused. Willow was confused too. She could scarcely believe her rational, top-of-her-game-in -the –psychiatric- profession mother was asking her about magic. Willow would have bet good money her mother would have scoffed at the idea of her daughter using magic and rushed to admit her into therapy.

“Not exactly,” Willow said slowly. “I can do magic but its not dark and its not all that advanced either.”

She didn’t lie to her mother, mostly because she wasn’t very good at lying, somehow, and Willow was never quite sure how, she managed to give herself away. Besides, she wasn’t really lying. Splitting her soul with Spike was hardly amateur level, but Willow was honest enough with herself to discount that spell as a success seeming as she hadn’t been trying to do it in the first place. She also hadn’t been trying to open the Hellmouth so she didn’t count that either. She hadn’t been using dark magic she had been possessed by The First Evil just as Angel had.

It was so totally not her fault.

“Oh dear,” Sheila rung her hands together a look of despair crossing her face. “What has that Bunny dragged you into? You used to be such a good girl, Willow. You used to have a good head on your shoulders and never get into trouble.”

“I’m not in trouble,” Willow pointed out sitting upright in her chair a wary look creeping into her face.

“But you will be, dear,” Sheila said with a little sigh. “If you keep allowing Bunny to influence you. You never went in for dark magic before she came along.”

“I’m not going in for it now.” Willow had the feeling telling her mother she used her magic to help Buffy save the world was not going to go over the way she wanted it to. It was best to downplay the magic and keep her mother off her back.

“I take it you look up magical information on your computer?”

“Yeah, sometimes.”

Sheila nodded once. “That’s what I suspected. I’ll take it for now.” She picked up the laptop and tucked it under her arm.

“What? You can’t take my laptop I need it!” Willow jumped to her feet holding out her hands expectantly.

“School’s out for the holiday season, you won’t need it for homework, and if you do, well, you can use it in the study under parental supervision. I won’t have you accessing those sort of websites, designed to twist people’s minds and bring chaos into the world. No, Willow,” Sheila said firmly when she saw her daughter’s mouth open to protest. “My mind is made up. I shall keep the laptop. It would never do for people to discover my daughter believes herself to be a witch of some kind, not when I’m a founding member and leader of M.O.O. I’d lose all credibility and that won’t do Sunnydale any good.”

Willow blinked in confusion. “Moo? What’s moo?”

“Not moo,” her mother said impatiently. “M.O.O. Mother’s Opposed to the Occult. We intend to purge the down of evil and make it safe again for moral, decent people to live in.”  

“Since when do you care what happens in Sunnydale? You sure haven’t given a damn about your own daughter up until now, isn’t taking on the safety of the town a little ambitious?”

“Rudeness will not be tolerated, Willow. Until you can apologise you are grounded.”

Willow’s eyes widened to their utmost. “Grounded? You can’t do that, you can’t ground me!”

“I can and I will, I’m your mother don’t forget.”

Willow snorted. “Finally remembered that, have you?”

“I am doing what I have to do to ensure my daughter stays safe. I will not have you practicing magic in this house, do I make myself clear?”

Willow forced a smile to her face and nodded, wondering just what kind of conversation had taken place between her mom and Buffy’s to make her mother believe in magic and dark arts. “Yes, mom.”

“Good.” Sheila nodded and left the room taking the laptop with her.

Grinding her teeth together Willow dropped _Middlemarch_ on the wicker chair and went to retrieve Amy’s book from beneath the bed. She decided to ignore her mother for now. Even without the laptop she could still help Buffy with the research; but for now she decided to look for any reversal spell. A little smile played across her lips; her mother wouldn’t expect her to have an actual book of spells.

After her father had explained about the two little children the previous night he had handed her a note he had found pushed through the door when he had arrived home. There was a dirty foot mark on the paper from where he had stood on it coming through the front door. It was a hastily scribbled note from Faith saying the book was around the back of the house.

She’d had to tell her parents Faith was a girl from school who had loaned her a book for class, seeming as she wasn’t home when Faith had come round she had left it in the garden rather than make a second trip. They had believed her without question and Willow had felt a slight prickling of irritation. Was she such a goody-goody, so well behaved and boring that there was no spark of suspicion of her late arrival home and mysterious notes on the welcome mat?

It was pathetic.

Shoving her depressing thoughts to the back of her mind Willow continued to flip through the book. It was quite a big book bound in worn brown leather with intricate symbols on the front. She hadn’t even made her way halfway through it when she spotted a hallucinogenic spell which looked quite interesting.

Skimming through the list of ingredients Willow smiled, pleased to see that she had the necessary components to hand. Buffy and Giles would be busy researching the strange symbol which meant her soul would take a back seat for now; she had time to try out a little spell.

Creeping to her door Willow opened it a crack and listened, she could hear her mother talking on the phone again and deemed it safe enough to try the spell with the founder of Moo suitably occupied.

Gathering her ingredients together Willow gave a snort of derision. “Moo. What a stupid name. If Buffy can’t purge the town of evil a bunch of housewives don’t stand a chance.”

Setting out stubby white candles in a circle Willow lit them and took a seat in the centre of the ring of flickering flames with a small bowl and four little lilac pouches filled with herbs. Opening the first pouch she emptied a pinch of the ground seeds into the bowl.

“Anise for dreams.”

From the next pouch she took a single purple leaf which was tinged slightly in green. “Belladonna for delirium and astral projection.”

Opening up the third pouch she took a pinch of Mugwort and sprinkled it into the bowl. “Mugwort for visions.”

Lastly she took some red wood shavings from the fourth pouch. “Red sandalwood for trances.”

Lighting a match Willow dropped it into the bowl and closed her eyes as the ingredients began to burn and a white smoke curled into the air. Centering herself she began to chant her brow wrinkling in concentration.

XxX

“We’ve got to do something about this,” Buffy said, the itch to go out and pummel something stirring restlessly beneath her skin.

“We will,” Giles said soothingly.

Xander glanced up from the book he was reading. “We really need Willow. She’s the best at research next to the G-Man here. She’d be able to look stuff up on the computer for us when we hit the books.”

“We’re going to have to do this without her,” Buffy said her face tight. “Her mother made it pretty clear that she wasn’t to have anything to do with me from now on and my mother was just as insistent I stay away from Willow. Do you believe it, Willow’s my best friend and all of a sudden she’s unsuitable company. And,” Buffy’s eyes flashed with hurt and anger, “my mom thinks I’m useless as the Slayer.”

“No,” Giles shook his head. “I’m sure you misunderstood her. She’s proud of you.”

“No she’s not,” Buffy let out a sigh and sank against the table blinking back tears. “She thinks I just react to things, that I don’t really do anything, that nothing gets better. Part of me thinks she’s right.”

“How can you say that?” Xander’s eyes widened. “You’ve stopped the world being sucked into Hell. You killed the Master. You died, Buff and your still standing. Everything you do means something.”

Buffy smiled. “Thanks, Xan, you’re a good friend.”

“Your mother’s just upset, Buffy. You know how you felt seeing those two little children lying there and you deal with evil every day. Your mother hasn’t had to deal with this face to face before, its bound to affect her,” Giles pointed out. “Don’t forget she’s a mother, Buffy. For a mother to see children like that, it must be...”

“I get it,” Buffy said with a nod. “Maybe I haven’t been as understanding as I could have been. But,” she let out a growl of frustration. “I hate that my mother had to see that, Giles. Why did she pick last night of all the nights of the year to bond with me over slaying? It’s scared her Giles, she hasn’t been off the phone all day calling round to all her friends and people have been in and out of the house like we’re handing out free money or something.”

“What’re they doing there?” Xander asked.

“They’ve made up a sort of support group or something. They call it Mother’s Opposed to the Occult.”

“Any hot chicks in the support group?” Xander’s eyebrows lifted a crooked smile curling his lips.

Buffy grinned. “I should so tell Cordelia about you.”

Xander groaned. “My ears are aching just thinking about it.”

Giles polished his glasses an absent look on his face as he bent back over a book. “It’s good, Buffy. That she has other mothers to talk to I mean.”

“I guess.”

“So,” Xander said striving for casual. “You spoke to Wills earlier?”

Buffy sank down opposite him and picked up a book. “I didn’t get a chance to ask her about Spike. I didn’t speak to her long enough. More to the point, I wasn’t allowed to speak to her for very long. I think her mother was hovering over her like mine was hovering over me. But, I think you’ve got it wrong.”

“Oh you do, do you?” Xander sat back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. “You wanna explain to me why our Willow was holding the hand of the evil vampire if there isn’t something going on with them? You do know she and Oz broke up, right?”

“Yes. Faith told me,” Buffy said shortly.

She couldn’t put into words the painful twinge in her heart when Faith had dropped that bombshell on her the previous night. It had been the reason she had ended up in the cemetery with her mother rather than her fellow Slayer. Buffy simply hadn’t felt equipped to deal with Faith’s presence, not when Faith knew more about Willow than she did. Willow was her best friend, the bestest friend Buffy had ever had and it hurt that Willow didn’t appear to want to confide in her any more or even spend any time with her.

“Wills is holding hands with the evil undead and then she and Oz break up. Coincidence I do not think,” Xander said.

“Do you think it would be possible to concentrate on the more pressing matter of those poor children rather than idle gossip?”

They both had the grace to look a little shamefaced at Giles remark. Logically Buffy knew the children deserved her full and complete attention as the Slayer in order that she might avenge their deaths and make sure it didn’t happen again, but she couldn’t get herself to focus properly. The concept of Willow and Faith lurked in the back of her mind no matter how much she tried to shut it out.

Xander bent back over his book chewing on his bottom lip. It was not idle gossip and he knew it, he just couldn’t flat out prove it. There was something not quite right between Willow and Spike, he could feel it. The more he thought about it, and Xander had thought about it quite a bit over the last few hours, the more that feeling of certainty grew; something wasn’t right and he’d bet his life it had to do with Willow’s soul.

The sun was beginning to set when Xander ventured to suggest they try the computer. He received a scowl in response from Giles but even Giles had to admit they weren’t getting very far with the books and he was worried the demon might strike again tonight and more innocent lives would be lost.

They had just gathered around the computer with Buffy taking over Willow’s role, less than enthusiastically, when the doors swung open and a boy staggered in rumpled and dishevelled a wild look on his face.

“Michael!” Xander stared in surprise to see a fellow student who was not a part of his dire social circle appearing at the school during the holidays. “What’s happened? Are you alright?”

“I’ve been attacked. Amy’s out of town, I didn’t know where else to go.” Panting and clutching at a stitch in his side Michael wiped at the blood on his face. “I need help.”

“Of course,” Giles sprang into action pulling out a chair for the boy to sit in. “Who attacked you?”

“My father and his friends,” Michael took a deep breath and ran a hand through his unruly dark hair. “They’re taking people out of their houses. The whole town’s gone mad.”

“Taking people?” Xander asked baffled. “Who’s taking people?”

“Some new vigilante group, Mother’s Opposed to the Occult or something like that.”

Buffy’s face paled and she swayed slightly on her feet. “What?”

“Why would they go after you?” Giles asked at the same time.

“Magic,” Michael said quietly. “I can do magic. I’m glad Amy’s not here for this.”

Leaning over him Buffy gripped his shoulder tightly a sharp sense of urgency thrumming through her veins. “Where are they taking these people?”

“City Hall, something about a trial and purging the town,” Michael said.

“Okay, Michael you stay here with Xander. Giles, keep on with the research, I’m going to talk to my mom, see if I can get her to stop this craziness.” Buffy took off at a run, her feet pounding out the same rhythm that resounded in her head: Willow. Willow. Willow.

XxX

Across town Faith arrived at Willow’s surprised to find her parents at home. She didn’t do too well with parents, they freaked her out the way they were always watching, scrutinising, finding her lacking in every way.

Willow’s father let her in and told her to go on through to Willow’s room. Her mother was on the phone peering at her around the door to the living room, she’d only had a fleeting glance at the woman as she passed by but it was enough for Faith to feel uncomfortable.

“Red, you in there?” she knocked once on the bedroom door.

“Faith? Come in.”

Faith found Willow sitting on the floor in a circle of candles. Her eyebrows arched questioningly. “What you up to?”

“Come in. Come in. Sit down, Faith. Watch, I’ve been learning a new spell.”

Faith took a seat on the edge of the bed. “You’ve been busy today then?”

“Well, I’m not allowed to play with Buffy any more, so yeah.” Willow took a few minutes to bring Faith up to speed, her impatience evident.

“Yeah I heard about the kids. It’s on the front page of the newspaper,” Faith said. “Everyone in the motel is talking about it. I was expecting a call from Giles or B to come over and research but surprise, surprise; nothing.” It was extremely frustrating the way B and Giles disregarded her on a daily basis. If she didn’t turn up of her own accord neither one of them tried to contact her and give her the low down on what was happening. So far as Faith was concerned two dead children was cause for concern.

“You didn’t go to the library then?”

“No,” Faith said shortly. “I was going to but B made it pretty clear last night that she didn’t want me around. She went off to patrol on her own, we split the town.” She grinned suddenly, “Xander didn’t look all that happy to see me either.”

Willow grinned back. “He had good reason. He was probably worried you’d throw him out the window or something.”

“Not gonna lie to you, Red, wouldn’t mind trying it.”

Willow laughed and shook her head. “Poor Xan, he won’t get over this for a while. Getting his butt kicked, so to speak, by a girl, even if she is a Slayer. Anyway,” she wiggled, excitement colouring her cheeks. “Can I show you the spell now?”

“Yeah, lets see it.”

Willow closed her eyes again to centre herself. She let her mind go quiet before conjuring up the image in her mind her lips moving in a silent chant.

“Whoa!” Faith stared around her opened mouthed as leaves: golden yellow, rustic orange and crispy brown of autumn floated around her. Reaching out to flick at a particularly large sycamore leaf drifted beside her shoulder Faith let out a gasp when her fingers went straight through it. “What the hell?”

Willow grinned. “It’s a hallucination.”

“Wicked!” Faith laughed standing up and moving through the mirage her eyes wide with disbelief and admiration.

“I found it in Amy’s book and thought I’d give it a try.”

Faith picked up the book which lay open beside Willow. “You find anything else in here?”

Willow bit her lip her eyes sweeping down for a moment. The hallucination spell hadn’t worked right off so she had taken a break to regroup and had continued to peruse the book. “Yes. There’s a spell in there that talks about undoing and reversing magic. I haven’t read it all the way through, I didn’t want to. If I didn’t read it then it didn’t really exist.”

“So you decided to magic up some leaves that don’t exist instead?” Faith gave her a knowing look. “Ignoring it isn’t going to make it go away, Willow and neither is living in a fantasy world.”

“Spike says we don’t need to have all the answers right now,” Willow said defensively.

“He’s right,” Faith said snapping the book shut. “Just because you have the spell doesn’t mean you have the answers though, does it? You still don’t know whether you want to reverse the spell, do you?”

Willow’s eyes met Faith’s and she nodded. “I do know. I don’t want to reverse it, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t.”

“Did Spike say he wanted to reverse it?”

“No, but he didn’t say he didn’t either.” Willow let out a sigh and busied herself blowing out the candles, the leaves continued to fall covering the carpet and the bed and every available surface. “I’m afraid to reverse it in case everything changes.”

Faith watched a beech leaf twirl in the air and smiled. “I don’t think the spell works that way. From everything you’ve told me I get that it affects the way Spike reacts to things, but it doesn’t change him completely, does it?”

“No,” Willow said slowly, thinking of the women he had killed. “It doesn’t change him completely. It’s just that I really like Spike, when we’re together everything’s great but when I’m not with him all I can think about is how I felt the same about Xander and it didn’t work out.”

“It worked out with Oz though,” Faith pointed out. “I know you wanted Xander and he didn’t want you which kinda sucked, but Oz wanted you even before you wanted him. You’ve got to put Xander behind you. Everyone has to deal with unrequited love at some point but its not always like that.”

“You’re right,” Willow said with a sharp nod. “I’m just going to tell Spike the truth. But I guess I’d better look over the spell and see if it’s what everyone else has been looking for.”

Handing the book over Faith sat down next to Willow. It was odd sitting amongst the leaves and not actually feeling them. Willow flipped through the book until she located the spell. Faith kept quiet while she read it, but she could tell by the way Willow’s body tensed that she had found the elusive reversal spell.

“Can you work it?”

Willow let the book rest on her crossed knees and tucked her hair behind her ears. “I wouldn’t want to go rushing into it. If I’m going to do this spell I want to do it right and I think I might need a bit of help, but yeah, I think I could work it.”

Faith squeezed her shoulder lightly. “Tell Spike first before you say anything to the others, see what he has to say. I won’t say anything.”

“I know that,” Willow smiled. “You’re the only one I can talk to who won’t judge me. Except for Spike. He doesn’t judge either.”

“He’s got no right to judge anyone considering his past,” Faith said with a slight smile.

“That’s not really Spike’s style, he just lets people be who they are. I… I think I’m in love with him.” It was scary saying it out loud, but not half as terrifying as the mere thought of saying it to Spike. Not that she planned on doing that any time soon.

“Oh really?” Faith laughed. “I never would have guessed.”

Willow flushed a little smile touching her lips. “Maybe I shouldn’t, but I don’t care. I do.”

“Like I said before, you shouldn’t care what other people think. You should do what you wanna do. I take it you didn’t get to have your big night last night?”

“No,” Willow’s mouth dipped down at the corners. “My parents came home earlier than I expected and ruined everything. Something did happen though.” Hesitantly Willow pulled her hair back into a ponytail and tilted her head to show Faith her neck.

Faith’s eyes widened and her lips parted in a soundless gasp. She didn’t know if it was the Slayer in her or simply the idea of a vampire at her throat in general, but the sight of that bite mark caused a shudder to run down her spine.

Willow didn’t take Faith’s silence as disapproval. “I guess its hard for a Slayer to think of a vampire biting her friend.”

“A little bit,” Faith admitted. “Did it hurt?”

“Yes.” Willow touched the mark with gentle fingers. “But I still had a powerful reaction to it.”

“Going by that blush I’ll say the night wasn’t a total bust.”

“No, it wasn’t.” Willow’s face lit up and she let her hair fall back around her neck. “I didn’t expect him to bite me but now that he has…”

The door suddenly opened and Sheila came into the room followed by several people Willow had never seen before. Sheila gave a startled cry at the sight of the leaves and made a noise that could only be described as shrill, when they abruptly disappeared.

Willow and Faith scrambled to their feet, the interruption scattering Willow’s focus completely and she lost her connection to the spell.

“A witch!” One of the women behind Sheila exclaimed angrily.

“I told you,” Sheila said sadly. “I’ve been harbouring the bringer of evil right here in my own home.”

“Bringer of evil?” Willow stared incredulously at her mother. “They’re a few leaves, hardly the most wicked of spells, mom.”

“Magic is magic,” Sheila said. “And it must be eradicated.”

“Burn the witch!” Another woman cried out pointing an unnecessary finger at Willow.

“Hold up,” Faith stepped forward shielding Willow with her body. “Nobody’s burning anybody.”

A man pushed himself to the front of the group. “Burn the sympathiser!”

“You wanna go ten rounds with me you better be damn sure you know what you’re doing,” Faith warned taking up her natural fighting stance.

Sheila made a gesture. “Make sure you get the witch and be quick about it, we’re going to be late, we have to meet Joyce at City Hall. Watch out for the other one, she’s a Slayer.”

As the group of men and women advanced Faith retreated pushing Willow behind her. She wasn’t totally sure what to do, these people were all human and she couldn’t fight humans, but if she did nothing she left Willow exposed to all sorts of danger.

“I’m warning you,” Faith said again her eyes narrowing dangerously.

“The town must be purged,” Sheila said firmly.

“I’m your daughter,” Willow tried to reason with her mother.

“You’re a witch and all witches must burn at the stake.”

“What?” Willow’s eyes went wide.

“Its for the best, honey,” Sheila said with a smile. “Trust me.”

Pushing Willow backwards Faith aimed for the French windows. “We’ll run.”

“I can’t move as fast as you,” Willow said. “You go. Go and get Spike.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“You have to,” Willow gripped Faith’s arm swinging her round and pushing her towards the door. “We need help. Go, I’ll handle things here.”

Faith lunged for the door as the members of M.O.O reached for them. She managed to dart their outstretched hands and fumbled with the door yanking it open as the man caught hold of the back of her jacket. Throwing her elbow back Faith caught him in the ribs causing him to loosen his hold on her and allowing her to escape.

As she was leaving she saw Willow throw out her hands and send two women sailing across the room into the wall. Faith felt bad abandoning Willow but she couldn’t fight humans and if they did manage to take both of them down there was no-one to go for help.

Sheila scowled at her daughter. “Stop that, Willow. We’re only trying to do what’s best.”

The man Faith had thrown off crept up behind Willow and before she knew what was happening a cloth was placed over her nose and mouth and the world began to fade to black. Willow had just enough presence of mind to glare accusingly at her mother before her body went weak and she slumped against the man as the chloroform took over her body.

A little boy and a little girl stood beside the open windows looking across at Sheila. “It’s right,” said the little boy, he was slightly older than the little girl with blonde hair falling in curtains to either side of his forehead, he wore a blue and white striped jumper with a pair of jeans.

“I’m scared of the wicked witch.” The little girl wore a pair of denim dungarees and had long curly blonde hair; she turned watery blue eyes towards Willow.

“No need to be scared,” Sheila promised. “We’ll burn the witch and you’ll be safe.”

XxX

Relieved to see the light on in the house Buffy rushed up the front path and leapt up the steps throwing the door open and barrelling into the foyer.

“Mom! Mom!”

Joyce was just replacing the phone in its cradle; she looked up in surprise to see her daughter wild eyed and frazzled standing in the doorway to the living room. “Buffy, honey, what is it? What’s the matter?”

“We need to talk, mom. It’s important.”

“Of course,” Joyce stood up holding out a hand. “Come here and tell me what it is.”

“It’s Moo, that’s what it is,” Buffy began as she crossed the room to her mother. “Its all gotten out of hand, they’re tak…”

Buffy was cut off when Joyce suddenly pressed a strip of cloth over her mouth catching her around the shoulders to keep her still. Overcome by the sudden fumes of chloroform Buffy’s eyes slid out of focus, her head began to spin and her body felt like lead; she collapsed to the floor her cheek scraping along the rough weave of the rug.

“I told you it would be easy.” A little boy with blonde curtains, wearing a white and blue striped jumper and a pair of jeans stood on the stairs peering at Joyce over the top of the banister.

“You were right,” Joyce said.

Standing in the doorway was a little girl with curly blonde hair and wearing a pair of dungarees. “You have to make them go away forever.”

“Of course I will,” Joyce promised. She knelt down beside Buffy and stroked her hair with gentle fingers. “I have to do what’s best, Buffy.”

XxX

Spike was coming down the stairs intent on getting some supper before heading to Willow’s when the front door flew open so violently it slammed into the wall and bounced back almost hitting Faith in the face.

“Spike!”

“What?” he eyed the distraught Slayer.

Panting for breath Faith placed her hand palm down on a nearby wall to steady herself. “They’ve taken Willow. Her mother and some people. They’re mad, Spike. They said they had to purge the town.”

“Taken Willow?” Spike closed the distance between them; catching Faith by the shoulders he hauled her closer until they were nose to nose. “Taken her where and why?”

“City Hall.” Faith took a deep breath. “They said they were going to burn her at the stake.”

Spike’s grip tightened briefly before he released Faith his face shifting as his fangs and ridges came forth, his yellow eyes glowing with the promise of violence. “Burn my witch will they.”

For the first time since she had met him Faith understood why this vampire was feared by others, why he had earned a placed in the Watcher’s Diaries and managed to kill to Slayers in his time. His voice alone, low and dangerous sent a chill over her body and Faith had no trouble believing that a furious Spike was the stuff of nightmares.

“Angel’s gone to the library to see the other Slayer. You’d better go an’ tell ‘em what’s happened. I’ll go for Willow.”

He didn’t wait for an answer, Spike turned on his heel and swept out of the house. He could move fast, faster than a human, but he was taking no chances with Willow’s safety. He went straight to the garage and hopped into his beloved Desoto. This would get him to City Hall in record time.

Faith watched the car screech down the street the two glowing orange tail lights disappearing around the corner. Spike would rescue Willow she felt sure of it. Turning in the opposite direction she began to run again, heading for the library.

XxX

Willow groaned, her tongue felt thick and furry and her head ached dully. She blinked against the bright light thankful for the pole at her back keeping her on her feet. As fuzzy as her head was, Willow quickly became aware that a pole at her back wasn’t a good thing, especially when she discovered she was tied to it and she was in fact standing amongst a pile of wood. She tugged against her bindings but the rope held tight.

Lifting her head slowly, a feeling of nausea assailing her, Willow noticed Buffy was also there, tied to her own stake her head lowered, her chin to her chest. The room was packed with people, some were holding flaming torches and Willow’s stomach lurched at the sight of them. Both Joyce and Sheila stood nearby talking and Willow noticed Amy’s magic book in her mother’s hands.

“Mom! What the hell are you doing?” Willow demanded pulling again at the ropes holding her fast.

“Language, Willow,” Sheila scolded with a frown.

“Are you out of your mind?” Willow watched as her mother came to stand in front of her and place Amy’s book at her feet.

“No, Willow, I’m not out of my mind, I’m seeing clearly.”

Joyce came to stand beside Sheila and peer at Buffy who was still unconscious. “I had to give her a lot, she’s a Slayer you know.”

“Dreadful,” Sheila said sympathetically. “I’m not sure what’s worse. A witch or a Slayer.”

Joyce touched a hand to Sheila’s arm. “All we ever wanted was a normal family and look what we got.”

“We’re making it right now though,” Sheila said with a smile.

Joyce nodded. “There’s not much else we can do.”

“Making it right?” Willow looked warily from one to the other. “What does that mean?”

Oh where was Spike? He’d stop all this, he’d help her, he’d make it all better. Willow felt it was safe to assume that Faith had gotten away seeming as she wasn’t trussed up to a pole the way she and Buffy were. Surely Faith had reached Spike by now. He would come. Spike would come and rescue her Willow was sure of it.

“There’s only one cure,” Joyce said. She turned and took one of the flaming torches from the man Willow recognised from her room earlier.

“Fire is the only way,” Sheila said accepting a torch from someone else.

“No!” Willow strained wildly against her ropes. “Buffy! Buffy wake up!”

She tried to think of a spell but nothing came to mind that would be helpful right now and Willow wasn’t sure she would be able to summon enough power to do anything anyway; she had never felt so tried and drained and completely unfocused.

Buffy heard Willow’s voice in the recess of her mind. She groaned, struggling towards the voice her eyes opening slowly. Groggily she lifted her head and took in her surroundings with a sense of panic and disbelief.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.”

Buffy stared at her mother, taking in the flaming torch with horrified eyes. “Mom, what are you doing? You don’t want to do this, I’m your daughter, you love me and I love you. Mom!”

Willow started when the little blonde children appeared. They stood before the two girls watching them with eerily calm eyes. She frowned down at them, had she imagined it or had they just appeared out of thin air?

“You promised,” the little girl said to Joyce.

“They killed us,” the little boy added.

Buffy stared at the children incredulously. “It’s them. Wills, those are the children from the park!”

“But the children in the park were dead.”

“Doesn’t stop them standing right there and telling our mothers to burn us,” Buffy said crossly. She pulled again at the ropes around her wrists, but she was still too weak from the chloroform to break them. “Mom! Stop this, this isn’t right, those kids are dead, you saw them!”

“Now there’s no use arguing, Buffy,” Joyce said soothingly. “I’ve made up my mind.”

“No!” Willow’s panic went up another few notches as Sheila brought her torch closer. “Mom, don’t!”

“Burn them,” the little girl said. “Burn the bad girls.”

The sound of the door slamming shut brought a halt to the proceedings as the crowd all turned to see what was happening. All Sheila could see was a man standing with his back to her doing something to the door.

Once he was satisfied the door was locked and barred Spike turned to face the room. There was an uneasy murmuring when the crowd saw his face. Nothing was hidden in the harsh light of the strip lights above.

“Spike!” Willow’s relief was a palpable thing. Her head fell back against the supporting pole her eyes closing.

Seeing her like that bound and helplessly tied to a stake caused Spike’s temper to flare. His anger was red hot in his veins and he reveled in it, indulged in it, and used it against these pathetic humans who thought they could take what was his. They thought they could hurt his girl.

They were going to find out what pain and fear really was.

He let out a low growl baring his fangs.

The humans staring at him uncertainly weren’t stupid, they had an innate sense of survival tucked away inside them and this burst forth now telling them all they were in danger and there was nowhere to go as the double doors were barred against them.

A woman screamed and backed away from Spike into the crowd.

Spike smiled. “I love it when they scream.”

What followed was the stuff of nightmares and Buffy, still weak and groggy from the chloroform, unable to free herself from her ropes was powerless to stop it. All she could do was watch and discover first hand just why Spike had been dubbed William the Bloody and the Scourge of Europe.

He was stronger than a human, faster than a human and a hundred times more vicious. The righteous anger that had carried M.O.O to this point evaporated in the face of something so terrifying and deadly. If they had banded together they may have taken Spike down, but in typical human nature they panicked, each persons’ fear feeding that of the others and as the room fell into chaos Spike worked his way through each one of them.

Screams, loud and filled with blinding terror resonated through the room. Blood splattered up the walls and pooled on the floor around the dead bodies dropped where they breathed their last as Spike made his way around the room devouring everyone in his path.

“Spike! No! Stop!” Buffy yelled, her eyes round as saucers as she witnessed what could only be described as a massacre.

Spike ignored her. He snapped necks, tore at throats, ripped hearts from chests and never slowed his pace. Burn his witch. Kill his girl. He’d show them the errors of their ways alright.

The children watched Spike with horror. They were not however as useless as Buffy, they still had some power left.

“They hurt us.” The little girl looked up at Sheila.

“Burn them.” The little boy prompted Joyce.

“Mom no!” Willow cried out as Sheila bent and touched her torch to the wood at her feet. “Spike!”

Spike turned when Willow called his name and he let out an angry roar. Pushing off on the balls of his feet he raced across the room, the people left alive were darting out of his way trying to get as far away from him as possible, tripping over dead bodies and slipping in the blood as they did so.

Skidding to a halt beside Sheila he lifted his arm and backhanded her to the floor. Growling he stood over her, fangs red with blood and the desire to kill forefront in his mind. He reached for her neck.

“No! Spike she’s my mother!”

Spike paused, every cell in his body howled to kill the bitch who tried to kill his girl; but Willow had asked him not too. He took a step back, turning away from Sheila he kicked at the burning wood sending it sailing across the room towards the handful of people who still remained alive and were cowering in the corner watching him fearfully.

“You’re alright, baby,” he murmured reaching behind Willow and pulling at her robes, snapping them easily with his superior strength.

“Spike.” Willow fell into his chest wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

“It’s alright, Spike’s got you now. You’re safe.”

“No!” The angry little faces of the children glared up at Spike. They moved closer to each other until they were shoulder to shoulder and then they seemed to merge and grow changing into another demon altogether, one which was seven feet tall with mottled red skin. It had black hair which was long and tangled, pointed ears and large fangs which jutted out from its lower jaw.

Joyce stared at it mouth agape and automatically took a few steps backwards.

“You ruined everything!” The demon yelled at Spike.

“Too bad ‘bout that,” Spike snapped. “You mess with my girl you gotta deal with me an’ there’s only one Big Bad ‘round ‘ere.”

The demon roared and charged at Spike. He shoved Willow away from him ready to take on the demon taken completely by surprise when a long pole appeared at his shoulder and impaled the demon through the neck. Looking back he saw that Buffy had managed to dislodge her stake, although she hadn’t freed her hands, but by bending at the waist she had managed to stop the demon in its tracks.

Grudgingly he gave her points for resourcefulness.

Unable to straighten up Buffy planted her feet shoulder width apart to help her keep her balance and tried to peer through her hair which kept falling into her face and eyes. “Did I get it? Did I get it?”

Spike’s lips quirked as his face returned to its human state and his blue eyes danced with amusement. “Demon shish kebab, Slayer.”

“I knew you’d come,” Willow whispered, sliding her arms around Spike’s waist mindless of his blood soaked shirt.

“I’ll always protect you, love.” Spike hugged her close, dropping his face into her hair and breathing her in.

“Can you free Buffy?”

Spike made a face. “Do I havta?”

Willow smiled and nodded and Spike went to Buffy’s side to undo her ropes. The second she saw him Buffy’s temper flared. “Look at what you’ve done! All those innocent people! You’ve slaughtered the entire room!”

“Not the entire room. There’s some people alive over there,” Spike gestured towards the small knot of people still huddled in the corner.

Buffy’s face was splotched with colour, her fury knew no bounds. Her fingers flexed behind her itching to grab a stake and carry out some justice. “Lets see how you do against someone who can actually fight back, shall we?”

Spike snorted. “You mean you? Already killed two Slayers in my time, got no problem in makin’ it three, blondie.”

“You aren’t going to walk away from this, Spike. Even if you kill me now you’ll still have Angel to deal with!”

“Oh no! Not the poof!” Spike exclaimed dramatically.

Buffy strained against the ropes, she could feel them start to give now that the chloroform was wearing off and she could hardly wait to plant her fist in Spike’s face.

Willow listened to the exchange a worried look crossing her face. She didn’t want Spike and Buffy to fight. She would end up losing one of them and she couldn’t bare that. “Buffy,” she squatted next to the still hunched over Slayer.

“Get me off this stupid stake, Wills. I’m gonna kill him!”

“Buffy,” Willow said again, taking her friends face in her palms Willow’s eyes caught Buffy’s and she began to chant, forcing herself into Buffy’s mind and latching on to her memory of Spike’s massacre. Letting her magic loose, Willow wiped the memory and began to weave a new one.

 

 

 


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

 

When Faith arrived at the library she found Xander cradling the phone against his ear under the watchful eye of Angel. Some boy she had never seen before was sitting at the computer with Giles hovering at his shoulder.

“Faith,” Giles looked surprised to see her. “Have you seen Buffy? We have a situation.”

Faith ground her teeth together. If it wasn’t for Willow she might just turn around and walk away and leave them deal with everything by themselves. It seemed to be how they preferred it anyway.

“I know about the situation. I was there. How do you know about it?”

Giles looked confused. “I think we’re talking at cross purposes. I’m talking about the new vigilante group that has sprung to life overnight…”

“Yeah I know all about them Willow’s mom’s like the leader or something. They’ve kidnapped Willow and taken her to…”

“City Hall!” Xander cried out slamming the phone down. He’d had a bad feeling when the phone at Buffy’s and Willow just kept ringing. “They have, haven’t they?”

Faith nodded. “They’re going to burn her to purge the town of evil.”

“And you let them take her?” Xander was aghast.

“They’re human, Xander, what did you expect me to do? Willow asked me to run for Spike so I did. He’s gone to get her. How do you know about it?”

“Spike?” Xander was hurt and he couldn’t deny it. Willow was in trouble and the first person she looked to for help was Spike, the evil undead rather than her friends.

“This is Michael,” Giles said indicating the boy at the computer. “He practices magic and was attacked by M.O.O earlier tonight; Mother’s Opposed to the Occult,” he clarified when Faith stared at him stupidly. “It appears that Buffy’s mother is also a founding member.”

“So where’s B?”

“She went to talk to her mother a little while ago and she hasn’t checked back in yet. We can’t get hold of her or Willow,” Giles said polishing his glasses on the hem of his jumper.

“You won’t get hold of B. Willow’s mom mentioned meeting Joyce at City Hall and she knew about Slayers. Its my bet that B’s been taken there too,” Faith said.

“To help purge the town of evil, right?” Xander said with a scowl. “Burn the Slayer who keeps the town safe, great way to keep evil out of Sunnydale.”

“We’ve been through this,” Giles reminded him impatiently. “Its not their fault they’re being controlled.”

“By an evil demon,” Xander said. “More good reason not to kill the Slayer or a witch who could save them, wouldn’t you think?”

Giles came around from behind the counter and made his way into his office. “I’ll get the book, Faith, you and Angel sort the weapons. I’m not totally sure what we’ll be dealing with when we expose the demon.”

“Angel,” Faith prompted when the vampire didn’t move. “Angel?”

“Huh?” Angel was barely listening. Spike, his Spike had gone to City Hall to save Willow at risk to his own life. Moo, or whatever they were calling themselves were looking to rid the town of evil and no one was more evil than Spike; yet he still went to Willow’s rescue with no form of backup whatsoever.

“Weapons,” Faith said.

“Right, weapons.” Angel sprang into action, he had to get to Spike, he couldn’t let anything happen to Spike. If he could help Spike, rescuing him would be better, but Angel would take whatever he could get; then Spike might start to thaw towards him and maybe he’d start to see Angel the way Angel was now seeing Spike.

XxX

Buffy blinked slowly her eyes focusing on Willow who was kneeling beside her. “Well? Are you just going to leave me tied to this thing all night?” Her lips quirked into a smile. “Come on, Wills, my back is aching.”

“Sorry,” Willow fumbled with the knots at Buffy’s wrists. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“I’m fine, and so is Sunnydale thanks to Spike.”

Spike’s eyebrows lifted questioningly in Willow’s direction but she said nothing, she gave no hint as to what memory she had given the Slayer in place of the original one. Right handy it was, having a witch on his side who could alter memories to please herself.

“Spike may have helped out but you killed it,” Willow said holding the large pole so Buffy could stand and stretch out her back.

“Lucky shot,” Buffy said modestly. “I didn’t know I was going to get it.”

“But you did,” Willow said smiling. “You always do.” She gave Buffy a long look and made a small gesture with her head towards Spike.

Buffy frowned slightly; it was easy to interpret the gesture. Willow wanted her to personally thank Spike and acknowledge his assistance. It wasn’t that Buffy had a problem with giving credit where it was due, and it was due to Spike; it was just that it really rubbed her up the wrong way having to thank an evil vampire for helping to save her own town and friends. It was almost as bad as having that same evil vampire saving the man she loved from certain death.

Still, Spike had helped out, he had risked his own life to come here and help Willow. Buffy was under no illusions that Spike wouldn’t have lifted a finger to help it she had been here alone and would probably have found himself a good spot to watch from as her own mother burnt her alive. Buffy didn’t exactly blame him for that, he was a vampire and she was a Slayer, they were natural enemies and Spike was evil after all.

Letting out a little sigh Buffy turned to Spike trying not to let her distaste show on her face. “Um, I guess… you didn’t have to help I get that, so, thanks. I know it goes against your instincts to help me in any way.”

“Didn’t do it for you.”

Buffy’s head titled and she surveyed him quietly for a moment. Spike had to restrain himself from shifting his weight or turning away from her; it would only come across as shifty or weak and he didn’t wish to appear to be either in front of the Slayer. Keeping his face carefully blank Spike simply stared back at her.

“I know.”

“Don’t care whether you live or die, Slayer.”

“I know that too.” Buffy’s hands came to rest on her hips and she glared at him. “Look, you helped out tonight and I appreciate that. I also know why you did it. But don’t think you can play me for a fool, Spike. I may not be able to stake you, but if I get so much of a hint that you’re up to something you’ll live to regret it. Understand?”

Spike chuckled softly. “You threatenin’ me, Slayer?”

His arrogance made her temper flare. “I’m telling you, Spike.”

“Well now,” Spike smiled coldly. “Not so sure that’ll go down so well.”

Buffy followed his pointed look towards Willow who was standing with Joyce and Sheila. She had her hand on Joyce’s arm staring intently into the older woman’s face seemingly reassuring her. Buffy’s stomach tightened as Xander’s suspicions rushed to the forefront of her mind; something told her that Spike was right and Willow wouldn’t like her threatening him at all.

Before she could fully consider that disturbing thought there was a banging on the door; a moment later the door burst open courtesy of combined Slayer and vampire strength. Buffy smiled to see Angel standing in the doorway, her heart leaping at the very sight of him.

“Good Lord!” Giles stepped into the room staring in horror at all the dead bodies. “Good Lord,” he exclaimed again as the remaining humans in the room almost knocked him over in their bid to get out of City Hall as soon as possible.

Angel grit his teeth his nostrils flaring at the scent of fresh human blood. His eyes found Spike, the other vampire had blood all down the front of his shirt and his chin was smeared red. Angel’s eyes narrowed.

“We missed the party?” Faith asked crossing the room with delicate steps to make sure she didn’t slip in the congealing pools of blood.

“This is…. This is…” Xander trailed off, he actually had no idea how to describe the horror of the room. He gestured towards the large demon lying on the floor. “That the demon?”

Giles gave him an exasperated look. “What else do you suppose it is?”

“Buffy killed it,” Willow said coming to stand beside her friend. “Without looking,” she added giving Buffy a grin.

“Nice one, B.” Faith went to stand beside the demon’s lifeless body.

Spike watched Angel advancing out of the corner of his eye, the poof had that look, the one Spike associated with being extremely constipated. He was mad and ready to fling accusations about like nobody’s business.

“Well, Spike helped.”

Spike hid his smile as the Slayer’s words stopped the Souled Wonder right in his tracks. He looked confused, his eyes switching from Spike’s bloody appearance to the Slayer’s open and honest face. Ha, the ponce could shove that up his arse and brood about it.

“But,” Xander frowned, a confused look crossing his face. “I thought you said that the demon had to be revealed?”

Giles nodded tapping the front of the magic book he held. “Well, yes.”

“You found out what it was?” Buffy wasn’t totally sure if she wanted to know just what kind of demon could control her own mother to the point where she was willing to burn her at the stake.

Giles cleared his throat alerting everyone that he was going into lecture mode. “The two little children are known as Hansel and Gretel…”

“As in gingerbread house in the woods Hansel and Gretel,” Xander said with a shake of his head.

Giles frowned at the interruption. “As I was saying, Hansel and Gretel have been turning up every fifty years since 1649….”

“Turning up dead,” Xander added. “Never seen alive, just dead.”

“But why?” Buffy asked.

“Well, some demons thrive by fostering hatred and persecution amongst the mortal animals, not by destroying men but by watching them destroy each other. They feed us our darkest fears and turn peaceful communities into vigilantes.” Giles paused and scratched his head. “The thing is, to stop the demon the veil, as it were, needs to be lifted to make the demon appear in its true form to negate its influence.”

“Obviously that’s what they did,” Faith said pointing to the demon.

“Spike got into a fight with it,” Buffy said. “It turned from two cute kids to one giant demon. It slaughtered everyone in the room, Spike tried to stop it but he couldn’t do it on his own. I just about managed to get the pole free, I was tied to a pole,” she added rubbing at her sore wrists. “And Spike maneuvered it back so I could kill it.”

“I’m a little confused,” Giles admitted. “Lifting the veil requires an incantation. The demon doesn’t just turn back into itself that’s not how it works. Being in its true form means it loses its power over the humans. It’s not the kind of demon who slaughter’s, it lets humans slaughter each other.”

Willow flinched and glanced at Spike. He closed his eyes briefly and gave a very small shake of his head telling her to keep quiet and not worry about it.

Buffy shrugged. “Well, that’s what happened.”

“Very strange,” he murmured itching to open the book and read a little more, he had been sure the only way to force the demon to take its true form was with a spell.

Angel had been there when Giles had discovered the identity of the demon as he had been there when Giles had uncovered the reasons why other demons were popping up and roaming around Sunnydale causing trouble. Giles was never wrong, he always had his facts straight before allowing Buffy to rush out into battle, that was a Watcher’s job after all, to, in his own way, protect the Slayer in his charge by ensuring she had all the information before going out into the field.

Something wasn’t quite right.

He saw the little exchange between Spike and Willow and every demonic instinct in him, and Angel still had demonic instincts even if he didn’t like to acknowledge them, told him Spike was hiding something. What that was he couldn’t say, but the feeling persisted.

Buffy let out a sigh and turned towards her mother. Joyce looked stricken and Buffy hated that her mother had been dragged into something this horrible. As the Slayer this was her world, a world she was forced into and couldn’t walk away from; but she had wanted to protect her mother from it all and she failed.

Not wishing to listen to any more Willow touched Spike’s arm. “Can we go now?”

“If you like.” He looked across at the mother, she was standing with the Slayer and her mother a little way away her face pale. “What ‘bout her?”

“She got here on her own, she can get home on her own.”

“Fair enough.” Placing a hand to the small of her back Spike guided her out of the room. Luckily the poof and the others were busy discussing how to get rid of the dead demon and didn’t notice them sneaking out.

The hallways were empty and the night was still when they left City Hall. Willow noticed Spike’s car had mounted the pavement and sat at an angle at the bottom of the steps leading up to the large double doors.

She smiled when he held the passenger door open for her. He could be quite the old school gentleman at times; it was another thing she liked about him.

“Where you wanna go, love? You wanna go home? Just drive round? What?”

“No, I don’t want to go home yet. Can we just go back to Angel’s place?”

“If that’s what you want.” Spike was willing to give her anything right now, she had been through a traumatic experience having her own mother try to kill her. “How you doin’, pet?” There was also the little matter of having seen him massacre a bunch of humans. She may have erased the Slayer’s memory but she wasn’t going to forget it or let it go, Spike would bet his beloved duster on that.

“I’m fine.”

Willow was a woman of many words. They might fall out of her mouth in a domino effect, and sometimes they didn’t always make much sense first off, but they were there and they were continuous. Having her sitting beside him in silence put Spike on edge.

She remained silent on the drive back to Crawford Street, and Spike worried her silence gave her way too much time to think about what she had seen. She wouldn’t understand, no matter how much he tried to explain it to her Willow simply wouldn’t understand why he had done what he had. She was human, a good girl and he was a demon; their minds didn’t work the same way, they saw things differently and that was never going to change. Spike refused to think they saw things too differently, where there was a will there was a way, and his will was strong.

“Spike, do you think… I mean, would you mind if I stayed with you tonight? I don’t really want to go home.”

“’Course you can, pet.” He could understand that she wouldn’t want to be face to face with the woman who had tried to kill her even if that woman wouldn’t remember doing it. “What memory did you give your mother?”

“No memory, I wiped their memories completely. I thought it would be better for both of them.”

He looked across at her in surprise. “I didn’t know you could erase memories.”

“Neither did I,” she admitted with a little smile. “But then I did it. Pretty neat, huh?”

“Could be right handy, pet.” He grinned wickedly at her as the possibilities opened up before him.

“Can you stop somewhere so I can get a toothbrush?”

Spike chuckled and nodded. “There’s a gas station comin’ up. I’ll stop there.”

“I’ll take your word for it, I can’t see anything out of these windows. How do you drive like this?”

“It’s a skill.” He’d had the idea of covering the car windows with black paint a good few decades ago and it had turned out to be a pretty good idea. It allowed him and Dru to move around during the day if they needed to make a fast getaway from an angry mob or a demon he happened to owe money to or had double crossed.

Spike did as she asked, he stopped to purchase a toothbrush for her and he actually paid for it leaving the cashier alive and well. He didn’t want to run the risk of Willow seeing him kill someone else tonight, especially when he didn’t have the excuse of saving her to offer in his defense.

Angel’s place didn’t exactly look warm and inviting, but Willow felt she would prefer it right now even to the familiarity of her own room. Besides, Spike was right there with her and she felt safe when he was around. She smiled slightly, if anyone had told her a fortnight ago that she would feel safe with Spike she would have thought they’d totally lost their mind. Now she couldn’t picture her day without him in it.

“Are you sure you’re okay with me staying?” Willow twirled the toothbrush round, her nails digging into the thin cardboard where the packet opened at the back.

“Sure, pet. Don’t worry ‘bout being in the way, Angel’s got a load of bedroom’s you can choose from.” It took every ounce of understanding he had to say those words. If she was going to be staying at his place he wanted her with him, not being with her was killing him; but he said nothing about it, when she was finally in his bed it would be because she wanted to be there.

Willow cleared her throat her eyelashes sweeping down against her cheek. “I want to stay with you, Spike, you know, if you want me to. I want us to be together. I, um, I want to be with you… first.”

Virgin’s blood tasted different to anyone else’s blood and the innocence of her blood had been a genuine and pleasant surprise for Spike. “I always kinda figured you an’ the wolf.”

Cheeks flushing pink Willow shook her head. “No. We didn’t get to that. We were building up to it. We weren’t ready, well, I mean Oz had, with someone else, or maybe more than one, I don’t know, I didn’t ask. Didn’t really want to know, it was enough just knowing that he had, you know? Anyway, what I meant was, I wasn’t ready, there were issues and complicated Xander feelings all mixed up in there too and I wanted it to be right. I wanted it, or well, I guess we both wanted it to be special, Oz said he wasn’t quite ready for it either so it all worked out for us really.”

There was a warm feeling in his chest and a smile playing on his lips. Spike was more touched than he had been in a long time that Willow wanted her first time to be him. It told him the depth of her feelings towards him without her having to say it out loud, although, he reflected, that would be quite nice. Spike could only hope that she would, in time, love him the way he loved her.

Spike’ s lips parted in sudden shock. Love? Love? No, he couldn’t love Willow, he hadn’t known her long enough, it was way too soon for anything as deep and meaningful as love. Or was it? Love was a tricky business, worse than magic to control. Love was one of those things that didn’t go by the calendar and it didn’t marry up to common sense either; if you felt it then you felt it and there was nothing you could do to change that. Didn’t he know that first hand? It had been the most ridiculous thing for him to love Cecily who had never so much as given him a backwards glance; but his human self hadn’t cared about that, he had known only that he loved her and there was nothing to do about it.

It seemed the same was now true about Willow. At least this time there was hope for him, more than a mere chink of light at the end of the tunnel, for at the end of the tunnel was Willow, waiting for him, willing to accept him demon and all.

Running his fingers down her cheek he said, “If it’s what you want, love.”

Willow nodded. “Yes, it’s what I want, Spike. Oh, is it, you know, what you want too?”

He smiled. “It’s what I’ve been wantin’ for a long time, pet.” Wrapping her up in his arms Spike pulled her closer, cupping her cheek and titling her head back so he could look into her face. “If you’re absolutely sure,” he gave her a teasing smile. “You did say no havin’ remember?”

Willow smiled back, his little joke easing her nerves. “Faith says, want. Take. Have. I like her philosophy better.”

His nose bumped against hers, his lips touching hers. “So I do.”

Her eyes closed absorbing the light touch of his lips, stomach muscles tensing with excited anticipation. “Could I take a shower? I feel like I need to wash the last hour away.”

“You can even use my en-suite.” Slipping an arm around her shoulders Spike guided her towards his room. “Had to stay on the first floor when we first moved ‘ere what with the wheelchair an’ all. Got my own bathroom an’ everythin’.”

“Every cloud has a silver lining.”

He laughed. It was nice to see a bit of cheek in her after a night like tonight. “In you go, pet.” He opened the door for her. “I’ll be in the bathroom upstairs, I won’t be long.”

Spike didn’t take long in the shower. He was in such a hurry to get back to Willow he almost slipped getting out of the shower, he managed to grab the sink and stop himself falling on his arse. He left his bloody clothes in a pile on the floor, he’d deal with them later, he had more important things on his mind right now like a sweet little witch who was all wet and naked in a shower just below him.

When he padded back downstairs to his room and reached to open the door Spike was surprised to see his hand trembling. He stared at it for a moment, curling the fingers into a fist the muscles in his arm tightening as he strained for control. It was getting exceedingly difficult to control the violence of his emotions when he was with her and everything he wanted was just behind this door in a room where he had been at his most miserable in decades. But control was essential, the last thing Spike wanted to do was hurt or frighten her in any way.

Willow was still in the bathroom when Spike entered the bedroom. The shower was no longer running but the steam lingered in the air and he could hear her pottering about. Looking about the room Spike winced at its untidiness. Willow wasn’t exactly a neat freak but everything in her room had its own little place, she was untidy in strangely organised way, everything was neat even when it was obvious something was left out when it should have been put away. His room didn’t exactly look like a bomb had hit it, but it wasn’t the best either. The bed was unmade, there was an overflowing ashtray on the nightstand, there was at least one empty beer or whisky bottle on every available surface and he had a habit of throwing his clothes around the room when he took them off.

Spike emptied the ashtray, his eye lighting on the necklace he had given her which was sitting beside the fallen ash and stubbed out filters. Spike smiled and touched his finger tips to the cool emerald. He was just straightening out the bedspread when the door behind him opened and Willow came out of the bathroom.

He jerked upright a nervous feeling curling through him which was quickly chased away by a screaming lust when he saw her standing there in a towel. “Feelin’ a bit better now?”

She smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I think I needed that.”

“You sure?” he eyed her closely. “You’ve been through a bit of an ordeal tonight, love.”

“I’m fine, really. Thanks to you.”

Closing the distance between them Spike rested his hands on her shoulders, his eyes deep and serious he stared down at her. “Nothin’s gonna ‘appen to you so long as I’m around.”

Maybe she should have been a little insulted that he thought she couldn’t take care of herself when she had survived three years of fighting evil on the Hellmouth alongside the Slayer, but there was a bigger part of her which craved the care and attentiveness her parents had denied her with their constant traveling. Her peers didn’t help matters by treating her like the invisible girl either.

It was nice to mean something to someone like Spike who had seen and done so much in his time on Earth.

He kissed her then, a soft, slow kiss and Willow’s eyes drifted shut her fingers coming to rest in the crook of his elbows. Was this really going to happen? Her and Spike? She was dreaming Willow was sure of it, men like Spike never noticed girls like her. But his lips against hers were oh so real, and oh so lovely; her heart beat picked up a little.

She let out a little sigh when he drew back to let her breathe. She blinked nervously at him. “Spike, will you, um…”

Cupping her face he stroked her cheeks with gentle thumbs. “Don’t worry ‘bout anythin’ love, Spike’ll take good care of you.”

Dropping his hands Spike caught hers and drew her with him towards the bed. Willow’s eyes closed as she tried to calm her jumping nerves. There were so many different emotions racing through her; awe, happiness, nervousness, desire, disbelief and others she couldn’t even put a name to.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” she whispered raggedly as Spike settled her back on the bed, his arms around her pulling her close.

“Believe it,” he murmured against her fingers. He kissed the tip of each finger and smiled into her palm. “No thinkin’, pet.”

“I… I’m not.”

Spike chuckled and pressed a kiss to her pulse. “Yeah you are, you do it so loudly.”

Reaching out slowly Willow touched a broad, pale, naked shoulder, swallowing thickly. “I’ll try not to.”

She wasn't dreaming. Firm muscles rippled beneath her fingers, reacting as electrifyingly to her touch as she did to his, that in itself had the power to render her speechless.

A cool tongue licked at the crook of her elbow before he pressed a kiss to her shoulder, his mouth trailing up her neck and taking her lips in a forceful, erotically charged kiss that had her melting against him with a soft moan, her fingers burrowing into his hair and gripping his head tightly.

Willow was gasping when he finally released her mouth; he dropped tiny little closed mouthed kisses against her lips. “Wanna do all those things I told you ‘bout, love. Wanna feel every inch of you with me.”

His voice was deep, husky, sexy in a way that sent shivers down her spine. He was beyond breath taking and he looked at her with such intensity, as though she were the single most fascinating thing in his world.

Her stunning green eyes darted to his, then flitted away. Nervousness drenched her, making Spike’s nape prickle, his entire body harden and an overwhelming urge to take extra special care of her washed over him. “Spike’s right ‘ere love, gonna take you nice an’ slow. Let you get used to me.”

Her exhaled breath caressed his face and heat flared in Spike’s gut; he hadn’t wanted anything in his long life the way he wanted Willow. A part of him was terrified at how vulnerable she made him feel.

It seemed to Willow that Spike spent hours loving her mouth, his tongue probing, flirting, caressing; teasing, exploring, ravishing until her lips felt red hot and swollen and her body ached unbearably for more.

Dropping his face into her neck Spike mouthed gently at the skin where two puncture wounds were currently hidden beneath little scabs. He wanted to taste her again, but held back, he knew what her blood tasted like; there was much more of her to taste yet.

Finding the knot in her towel Spike untucked it. Willow’s body tensed as the damp cotton moved over her skin exposing her body, she’d never been naked in front of anyone before. The hard ridge of his arousal pressed against her leg and Willow shivered.

“So warm you are,” he murmured kissing the swell of her breast. Spike shivered when her hands slid down his back over skin that was sleek and soft, and bones that were hard and solid, and muscles that were taunt and defined. Spike arched up into the caress.

“You aren’t as cold as I thought you’d be.”

He chuckled, resting his cheek in the valley between her breasts. “Nice to know you’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout me, love.”

Her skin heated a little more as her blush made its way from her cheeks, down her neck to her chest. “M…maybe a little bit.”

“Good.” Teasing her was easy, looking at her was hard. The hunger that clawed through him was so acute Spike was terrified it would frighten her should she see it reflected in his eyes.

His hand ran down her side finding skin that was silky and supple beneath his fingers and blooming with health and vitality despite its pale quality. His tongue stole out to stroke along the underside of her breast and curl up and around her hardened nipple. She sucked in a sharp breath when he shifted slightly to take it in his mouth.

The cool touch of his lips on her skin fractured her breathing and Willow’s stomach clenched, a now familiar heat springing to life between her thighs.

Blunt teeth scraped her nipple and Willow moaned, her eyes closing and her fingers gripping his back tighter as she arched towards him. Pushing himself up onto his elbows Spike palmed her other breast, his thumb rubbing erotically over the darkened nipple.

His hands trailed over her ribs, down her sides and over the hollow of her stomach, and where his hands went Spike’s lips followed, revelling in the sweet taste of her flesh and the quiet moans that escaped her lips.

She squirmed when his fingers brushed along her ribs. Spike lifted his head from where he was pressing soft kisses around her navel. “Well then, what do we ‘ave ‘ere?” he grinned wickedly at her.

“Oh!” Willow’s hand grabbed his wrist. “Nothing. Just a little ticklish.”

“Uh huh.”

“No!” her eyes went wide. “No tickling, Spike.”

He gave her that wicked grin again before dragging his fingers back along her ribs and soothing the sensitive flesh with the palm of his hand. “Not ticklin’,” he said quickly and she frowned at him making him laugh. “Where else are you ticklish? No, don’t tell me, I wanna find out on my own.”

And serve him right if he did discover her feet were ticklish and she accidentally kicked him in the face, Willow thought. At least he wouldn’t do it again. She hated being tickled above all else. Except maybe frogs. Frogs were the worst!

He continued the drag and smooth motion along her side as his lips returned to her skin, the combination of sensations confused her senses as he scattered small kisses along her abdomen, his tongue darting out to swipe at her skin.

Shucking his towel Spike lent over her his arms wrapping round her as he returned his mouth to hers; all soft and exquisite. He could feel her heart hammering against his chest and thoughts of all that delicious blood rushing beneath the surface of her skin flashed across Spike’s mind.

Willow’s back arched slightly as her lips parted and a low moan tumbled from her. She was so soft, so hot against his bare flesh Spike could barely control himself. His hands tangled in her hair and he kissed her again; hard and deep, his tongue searching, ravishing until her body trembled against him.

She kissed him back just as heatedly, her tongue plundering his mouth; needing him, pulling him closer to her, desperate to take anything he offered her.

When his thumb brushed across her nipple once again Willow’s entire upper body surged towards him. Satisfied, Spike left her mouth to allow her to breathe and dropped his head back to her breast.

Willow could feel her nipples straining towards him as he latched on to the tip of her breast, pulling her between his teeth. Suddenly, Spike’s eyes lifted, caught hers and held.

Willow sucked in a sharp breath, the look in Spike’s eyes; an intense mixture of wildness, contentedness and pleasure made her body shudder almost as much as what he was doing.

He sucked lightly, passing his tongue over and over her, enjoying the feel of her and the taste of her skin. He was so taken with her Spike almost forgot that he held her other breast in the palm of his hand. Gently, he rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, massaging the swell beneath, his forehead rippling when she tangled her fingers in his hair her nails scraping along his scalp.

She was so soft, so creamy; like running his hands over silk and satin and she drove Spike wild without even meaning to. His mouth ravaged the dusky pink crest of her breast, urged on with the sound of her shallow breaths and the way she arched against him, her breathy voice whispering his name, threatening to release the untamed beast inside him.

Willow revelled in the erotic sensations flying through her system. She embraced the feeling of being so close to Spike and she gasped his name again, enjoying the fact that she could say it, that this was real and not a wonderful dream.

"Spike…. I ache," she whispered breathily.

Spike growled softly against her skin. She wasn’t the only one aching, his entire body was aching.

Her thighs softened and parted as Spike’s knee pressed against her legs, easing between them until she felt the hard male presence of his thigh between hers sending a hot flush through her system. The sudden feel of his knee against the softness of her core caused a sharp breath to catch in her throat. Spike’s mouth lifted from hers, his eyes holding hers as his knee moved against her again, gently, teasingly causing fierce shivers of pleasure to run through her.

Using his knee to slowly part her legs Spike reached out to touch her, gently, carefully between her thighs, his fingers trembling slightly as she yielded willingly to his caress.

She was so wet, so hot, so swollen; he traced his fingers along the length of her, and she quickened to his touch, her flesh ripe and blooming. Willow moaned, desire sizzling away beneath her heat prickled skin. The feel of Spike’s finger dipping into her had her eyes widening, a small gasp leaving her parted lips and her stomach tightened. She grasped hold of his upper arm, her eyes lifting to his face and his name came out of her in a croak.

“It’s alright,” Spike spoke softly, brushing his lips against her moist forehead.

Spike took his time with her, enjoying her completely, struggling to curb the wild urges roaring inside him. When he was sure her body had relaxed and she was used to the new feeling, Spike added a second finger; penetrating to their fullest length. He stoked her sometimes slow, sometimes hard, but always sliding in deep before retreating. Willow gasped with pleasure, her body pulsed with longing.

His thumb brushed against her clit in a slow hypnotic rhythm which made her press her bare feet into the mattress and push up against him. He could make her come with this alone and Spike knew it, but he had so much more to give her and the need he had to taste her was thundering through him.

Spike slithered down her body, his hand releasing her, easing her legs wider apart and pressing his lips to her inner thigh in a tender kiss.

After a moment he lifted his head his eyes soft. “’M flattered, pet.”

A small frown wrinkled her brow.

“When a woman’s aroused she swell’s. You’ve opened up for me like a flower.” Spike grimaced inside, if he started spouting poetry he was going to stake himself right there and then.

Her skin heated with embarrassment and arousal. Reaching down she touched his cheek feeling the clench of his jaw beneath her palm. Spike turned enough to kiss her hand his eyes closing for a moment before settling himself between her thighs his hard cock pressing into the bed.

Her hips jerked in surprise when his lips brushed over her and Spike curled his hands over her hips firmly. "Easy," he murmured.

Spike’s eyes closed and he inhaled deeply drawing the scent of her arousal into his body, letting it linger in his head. When he finally touched her, his tongue running along her slit he groaned, his eyes rolling beneath the closed lids. She tasted as delicious as he knew she would. He touched her clit then, and a shock travelled all the way to her heart and down to the tips of her toes. Willow’s body tensed at the power of his touch and then relaxed as she eagerly waited for more.

As his tongue slid inside her Willow’s vision clouded with lust and her lips parted in a soundless gasp her chest heaving as all breath threatened to leave her.

Willow released a trembling breath and then a gasp of pleasure at the erotic flick of his tongue; a heavy kick of heat came from her and she arched her back in delight. Heart pounding, pulse racing, emotion flooding her as Spike’s tongue teased and promised, his mouth cool and devastating, wrenching a broken whimper from her lips.

 

She tasted of strawberries and magic; it was the very essence of her. Magic belonged to her in a way even he hadn’t anticipated. He gathered that heavenly elixir on this tongue, groaning as it tickled his taste buds with sensual promise.

 

Fingers still working against her, inside her, all around her; Spike caught her engorged clit between his lips and pressed down with his tongue, lashing from side to side. Willow’s back arched as the muscles in her legs tightened. She grasped him with one hand and tired to push him away with the other as her senses went into overload and she came with a scream that tore from her throat.

 

“Oh God….. Spike.” She barely managed to get the words out through panting breaths.

 

Spike smoothed her damp hair back from her face amusing himself by spreading the long red tresses out along his pillow. “Shh, easy now, pet. Catch your breath, hum?”

 

She made a little sound of agreement watching him curiously as he continued to arrange her hair over the pillow, twining a strand or two around his fingers before brushing them out. He shivered when her warm hands ran over his chest and back bringing him closer to allow her to press a kiss to his shoulder, her tongue darting out to taste his skin.

 

It hadn’t been easy ignoring the throbbing of his cock and Spike knew he could ignore it no longer. He needed to be inside her or he might just explode. Positioning himself over her, balancing on his elbows, Spike looked down at her flushed face and glassy eyes, parted lips swollen; she was the picture of debauched innocence.

 

Nudging against her heated core, Spike eased into her. Propping himself on one elbow, his other hand crept down her thigh cupping her beneath her knee, drawing her leg up to hold it against his hip. She was slick enough to ease his passage and Spike’s eyes rolled back in his head at the heat that surrounded him. It was different, an odd but pleasant sensation of burning; it had been a long time since he’d been with a human but he didn’t remember it feeling like this.

The muscles in his back and shoulders tightened with the force of battling his ferocious need to possess her. Spike groaned in pleasure, she was so snug wrapped around the thick length of him already, he could barely wait to get fully inside her.

Catching her bottom lip between her teeth Willow moaned quietly at the combination of pleasure and discomfort between her legs. This feeling of being stretched, of being filled, didn’t hurt, not yet, but she had read enough to know that it would. She clutched at Spike as he nuzzled her throat, a grunt of pleasure vibrating against her skin. He was being very gentle with her, sliding in and then withdrawing, easing himself into her a little bit more each time letting her get used to him.

His fangs scratched at her neck dislodging the scabs. He worried at the cut to bring a small measure of blood to the surface, licking at the wound a bolt of pleasure swept down his spine; magical virgin’s blood.

He felt her body's natural resistance to his intrusion and Willow gave a sharp gasp of pain, her body freezing. "Easy now, baby," he whispered hooking her leg over his hips. “Put your other let round me, love, an’ keep it there.”

She did as he asked, confused when his hands came up to frame her face, his fingers sliding up into the hair at her temples and holding her tightly. Pulling back slightly, Spike pressed his hips forward again.

A sharp pain enveloped her senses and Willow cried out, her nails biting into his shoulder blades, her eyes screwing tightly shut as his hips surged forward, his fangs simultaneously sinking into her throat.

A raw groan left his lips as her blood burst into his mouth and he pushed his full length completely into her body; her blood changed and Spike had the duel taste of the innocence of the blood already coating his tongue and the new slightly more spicy tasting blood of the girl who had given herself over to him completely. Spike savoured the moment; it was truly one to remember, the very second his girl became his.

Willow was glad he’d held her still for that, if she had started jerking or squirming about his bite would probably have hurt a lot more than it had. It wasn’t that she was opposed to Spike biting her, she just wished it didn’t hurt so much.

Licking the fresh wound one more time Spike raised his head to rest his ridged forehead against hers. Her warm breath fanned his face, her lips mere inches from his. “No more pain,” he promised kissing her softly. “Just pleasure.”

With each slow, deep thrust he gave her their bodies drew nearer, and Spike's back rippled with the movement, his behind clenching, his hand coming back to her leg, holding her firmly, keeping her knee bent.

This was what she had been yearning for, aching for; she shivered with each firm thrust of Spike’s body into her own.

Spike was lost in his own hazy desire. Lost on the way she gasped his name and clung to his body as pleasure stormed through her; lost on the wild tide of passion that carried him onwards straining towards his release and driving Willow to hers.

The air around them was hot and cloying with an ever -increasing desire that burnt between them, transporting them to another level of consciousness and a blissful moment of perfection.

Willow cried out just as Spike felt her inner muscles clamping down on him. Something between a roar and a growl erupted from him as he spilled his release, his climax as thorough as hers was.

She felt boneless, as she lay half under Spike from where he had collapsed beside her, the lower half of his body still covering her. She was panting, harsh and ragged against his neck all energy drained from her.

“You alright, love?”

“Hum,” she let out a contented sigh, fingers moving slowly through his hair.

“You want anythin’?” He had no idea if humans required something post making love.

“No thank you.” Her finger wandered down his cheek bone and back up again.

“Nothin’?” he pouted. “Not even a cuddle?”

She laughed at the mock sulky look he gave her. “Oh yes, I’d like one of those.”

Stretching out on his back Spike held his arm up for her to settle against his side. Cupping the back of her knee he drew her leg up and over his. “’M gettin’ used to being nice an’ warm.”

Picking up a packet of cigarettes off the nightstand Spike shook one loose and proceeded to light up. Taking a nice long drag he exhaled watching the cloud of smoke hang lazily in the air above them. “It bother you?”

“No, I like it.” Willow settled her head more comfortably on his chest. “Smoking always makes me think of you.”

He rubbed her arm. “That right?”

“Hum.” She fell silent, her fingers tracing idle patterns over his chest, noting the very stark differences between her own fair skin and his. “Spike.”

“”Yeah love?”

She chewed on her lower lip for a moment before replying. “If… if you know, it wasn’t, um all that…um, good for you…”

His hand came to rest on the side of her head, holding her steady as he placed a kiss on the top of her head. “Perfect, love. Don’t worry ‘bout that.”

Willow felt that was probably a bit of a stretch but she appreciated the sentiment behind it anyway. “Spike?”

His lips quirked into a smile, it was almost impossible for her to remain silent if she wasn’t thinking about something. “Yeah?”

Her hand trailed down his chest to his hip, her thumb sliding along the sharp bone, her eyes dropping to where his cock lay quiet and soft between his thighs. “Will you… will you teach me how to make you.. um… well, you know?”

Tucking her hair behind her ear he rubbed a lock between his fingers watching the play of red and gold in the light. “Teach you anythin’ you wanna learn, love.”

“You make me happy.”

The simple declaration hit him hard and made his chest ache. Even Dru had never come out and said something like that to him in the hundred years they were together. He squeezed her shoulder, kissing the top of her head again. “You make me happy too, baby.”

She said nothing more, and after a few minutes her heart beat evened out completely and she fell into a light doze. Spike closed his eyes and absorbed her; warmth, scent and heartbeat.

XxX

 

The scent of sex and blood hung in the air thick, heavy and cloying. Yellow eyes glared balefully at the closed door to Spike’s room.

Angel couldn’t remember when he had last been so jealous that the demon came out in him but it was out now; angry and displeased and the soul ached with hurt; Spike was happy without him.

 

 


	30. Chapter 30

 

 

Chapter 30

There had come a point where Angel simply couldn’t take any more. It wasn’t that Spike and Willow were particularly loud with their incessant fucking; it was just that the house was quiet and he was, in all honesty; listening. He couldn’t help it, it was like being hypnotised; he knew what he was doing but Angel couldn’t stop himself.

If Angel was being reasonable about it he could see how they had been drawn together, but Angel didn’t really want to be reasonable about it; the green eyed monster was roaring in his chest.

He could hardly stand the thought of them together, all naked and writhing and moaning as Spike taught her the finer points of sex. And Spike would take great delight in teaching her, Angel knew it.

A mug of blood had not helped calm him down and neither had half a bottle of scotch, and so Angel found himself storming through the sewers on his way to the school, at this time of day Buffy would be at the library and Buffy was who he needed. He would tell Buffy what was going on and Buffy would stop it. He wouldn’t let her hurt Spike of course, she would want to but Angel had faith in his powers of persuasion that he could convince her to stop at a punch in the face; he wouldn’t deny her that and Spike more than deserved that anyway, he was evil after all.

As plans went his was relatively simple; he would tell Buffy, she would express her disapproval to Willow and Willow, as was her way, would crumble and fold under the disapproval of her friends and Spike would be all Angel’s.

Spike wouldn’t take it well, but Angel would cross that bridge when he came to it. He was sure he could offer Spike some interesting and satisfying ways to occupy his time.

Just as he came out in the basement of Sunnydale High School Angel had a flash back to watching Willow and Spike together in his kitchen a few days ago. He remembered thinking how Willow’s confidence came to the fore with Spike near her and a tickle of dread crept down his spine that his little plan was not going to work out as he thought it would. There was the slight possibility that Willow wouldn’t fold under the pressure from Buffy, Xander and Giles. There was also the more likely scenario that Spike wouldn’t back off either. Spike didn’t like being told what to do and to be told who he could and couldn’t take to his bed was not going to go down well with him.

Still, in over a hundred years Spike had never bested him, Angelus had taken Drusilla from Spike whenever he felt like having some fun and Angel saw no reason why he couldn’t come out on top this time too.

He did have a moment’s pause as he thought back to the previous year when Angelus had made his brief return. Spike had been stuck in a wheelchair having had a piano dropped on him breaking his back. He had taken Drusilla away from Spike then making his life an even bigger misery than it had already been. He had taken Drusilla into his bed not caring, and even wanting Spike to hear them at it and know that even though Angelus had been gone for so long still nothing belonged to Spike; it was still Angelus who reigned supreme.

Angel let out a little sigh, he was sorry for hurting Spike; now he knew what it was like to have to listen to someone you loved rutting away with someone else. Trying to come between Spike and Willow would hurt Spike in short term, but this time Angel was willing to make up for the pain he would cause. He smiled, Spike would be happy again Angel would see to it personally.

When he finally arrived at the library Angel wasn’t completely surprised to see Buffy and Giles weren’t alone, Xander and Faith were there too. Buffy looked over her shoulder when the door opened and smiled at him.

“Angel, what are you doing here?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Angel said. “Thought I’d check in after last night.”

“Oh I’m fine,” Buffy made a dismissive motion with her hand. “Except that Giles thinks I’m lying to him,” she shot her Watcher an impish look.

A look of exasperation crossed Giles face. “I never said you were lying, Buffy. I’m just trying to establish what occurred last night.”

“And I’ve told you like five hundred times!” Buffy’s hands came to rest on her hips. “You just won’t believe me.”

“I’m not saying that I don’t believe you, Buffy. It’s just that your account doesn’t measure up with the previous accounts of this particular demon. Like I said before, it takes its pleasure from watching humans destroy each other, it doesn’t do the destroying itself.”

“Maybe there’s some more information on Hansel and Gretel we didn’t come across?” Xander suggested. “There could be other accounts of it. We didn’t really have all that much time to go digging about did we?”

Giles let out a sigh. “Yes, I suppose so.”

“I was just lucky Spike was there,” Buffy admitted. “He really helped saved the day.”

“Good for Spike,” Faith said tilting her can of coke in a toast.

“Speaking of Spike,” Xander began, “Did you notice he left with Willow last night?” he gave Buffy a pointed look.

“Any reason why he shouldn’t?” Faith asked.

“Xander thinks there’s a Willow and Spike situation,” Buffy said slowly. “I… I’m not sure what I think. I haven’t had the chance to ask Willow about it. I called her this morning but her mother said that she had stayed out last night. She wasn’t with me or Xander. Was… was she with you?”

Faith shook her head. “I haven’t seen her since City Hall.”

The sense of relief she felt made Buffy squirm slightly. She didn’t want to be jealous of Faith. She didn’t want to resent Willow befriending Faith. She knew what it was like to be new in town, she knew what it was like to crave a friend and she had been met Willow, the best girlfriend she’d ever had. It was pretty much in Willow’s nature to be nice to everyone and it wasn’t surprising Willow would extend the hand of friendship towards Faith, it was just that Buffy rather wanted to keep Willow to herself; that petty jealous side of her bothered Buffy a lot.

“See!” Xander exclaimed.

“See what?” Buffy gave him a blank look.

“If she wasn’t with us then there’s only one other person she could have been with. And when I say person, I mean creepy, evil, blood sucking vampire.”

“Xander,” Giles said patiently. “We don’t know that.” He passed by the irate boy to go into his office.

“Ask him,” Xander pointed at Angel. “Well?”

Angel looked uncomfortable. “Well what?” This wasn’t exactly how he had wanted the conversation with Buffy to go. He had wanted to do it in private, where he could express his concern for Willow and distrust of Spike. He didn’t want an audience.

“Good Lord!”

“Giles?” Buffy turned away from Angel to peer into Giles office. “Something wrong?”

“I’ve been robbed!” Giles appeared in the doorway a distressed look on his face.

“Robbed?” Xander was suitably distracted from the problem of Willow. “Whaddya mean?”

Giles frowned. “What do you think I mean? Someone had been in here and taken something of mine, that’s what I mean.”

“What’s been taken?” Faith placed her can on the table and stood up.

“Amy’s book. She leant me two, the one is there on the table, I’ve been taking it home with me at night to read through. The other I kept here with my other important books under lock and key. It’s gone.”

“Just that one book?” Angel asked.

Giles nodded. “Just that one. Dear Lord, I told Amy I’d look after them. What will I tell her? Who could have taken it? Nobody knew it was there.”

“Why that one in particular?” Angel crossed to the table to examine the remaining book. “Are they valuable? Not so much worth something financially, but the spells, are they valuable to the right demon?”

“Well,” Giles paused, taking off his glasses and polishing them on his jumper. “I don’t really know. There are some very interesting spells in there, a lot of them are quite complicated and would require a great deal of power. No novice would be able to cast them. I confess I hadn’t really looked at the other one. I should image it is much the same as this one, but of course I can’t be certain.”

“Is that all that’s missing?” Faith asked, she was pretty sure Giles wouldn’t suspect of them of stealing the book, but she wasn’t certain how much she should appear to care or how much help she should offer. She decided to take her lead from Buffy and see what occurred.

Giles nodded and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Maybe it’s at your place?” Buffy suggested.

“Yeah,” Faith leant back against the desk. “Maybe you thought you’d left it here but you didn’t?”

“No. No.” Giles shook his head. “I left it here. Oh I knew I should have kept them both with me but I never imagined someone would steal one of them. How did the thief even know it was there?”

“Maybe they were looking for something else?” Buffy trotted past him to look over the scene of the crime for herself. She eyed the open cupboard. “Lock’s busted. Someone wanted into that cupboard alright. Is there anything else in here they could have wanted?”

“I don’t know why anyone would steal that particular book in the first place never mind anything else,” Giles came to stand behind her, shuffling the other papers, books and documents in the cupboard. As he had thought, nothing else had been disturbed.

“So, what do we do?” Xander looked from Giles to Buffy when they re-emerged from the office. “I mean we can’t exactly report it to the police can we? How do we go about finding the book?”

“Maybe Willow could help?” Faith said. “It’s a magic book and she’s a witch, maybe she can use a spell to find it?”

“Like a locator spell?” Giles murmured. “Yes, that’s a good idea.”

“I have them now and again,” Faith grinned. “Look, I’ve gotta get going. Places to go and all that.”

“Yes alright,” Giles nodded. “There’s not much we can do until Willow shows up. We’ll see you this evening for patrol.”

Faith gave him a little salute. “I’ll be around.”

“Seeming as we’re back on the subject of our wayward Wills…”

“We’re not back on the subject, Xan!” Buffy snapped. “I’ll talk to her okay? As soon as I see her I’ll talk to her. Me. Not you. Alright?”

“Fine. Good. Girly talk. That’s what we need.” Xander gave a nod of satisfaction.

Angel shot a sneaky look at the pleased Xander. He wondered what had happened to make Xander of all people stumble upon the truth. Although, Angel felt Xander might actually collapse if he knew the full extent of the truth.

If Buffy was going to talk to Willow anyway he decided not to interfere. He could instead play the role of comforter to Spike. Angel let his mind wander as he thought of some of the ways he could comfort Spike and drive Willow from his mind completely.

 

XxX

 

“That’s it, love.” Spike groaned his fingers tightening in Willow’s hair. She was a novice of course but he could tell this was something she’d be good at, all that enthusiasm to please and to learn.

Willow’s lips travelled down his cock, being careful not to hit her gag reflex. It was a difficult thing to do, she wasn’t used to this at all. She’d thought about it before, thought of maybe doing this with Oz but hadn’t had the opportunity. It wasn’t what she had expected but it wasn’t bad. It would take some getting used to, there were a fair few things to learn to juggle at the same time, but Willow felt it would be an activity she would enjoy and by the satisfied sounds Spike was making she judged he was enjoying it too.

His fingers flexed against her scalp as his cock jerked and quivered against her tongue; his voice deep and husky gave her directions and Willow was glad of them, she wanted to know exactly how to please Spike.

Her palms slid along the tops of his thighs feeling the muscles tighten as she pulled back and licked the weeping tip before drawing her lips back down the length of him with mind-blowing strokes.

Spike groaned again, his face shifting, his ridges and fangs emerged as pressure built in his groin and he fought to hold back one moment longer to fully enjoy the ecstasy.

“Bloody hell, Willow.” Fire burned through him like a raging inferno. He couldn’t hold back and pushed deeper into the white hot cavity of her mouth. His hips jerked again and Spike threw his head back with a low satisfied groan, his cock pulsing wildly as his release erupted in her mouth.

Willow coughed a little, swallowing as best she could. Spike watched her through yellow eyes as she sat back on her heels; she couldn’t know how good she looked with those pinked cheeks and a sprinkling of his release on her lips and chin. All too soon it was gone as she licked her lower lip and cuffed her chin with the back of her hand.

“Sorry, pet. Should ‘ave warned you ‘bout that.”

“It’s alright,” she smiled. “I didn’t mind.”

“Always somethin’ a bloke likes to hear.” Spike wiggled back on the bed and gestured for her to join him.

Willow curled up next to him resting her cheek against his shoulder, tracing his collarbone, her finger trailing along the defined muscles of his chest.

“Everythin’ alright, love?”

She smiled and stretched her neck to kiss him. “I’m not really sure, there’s something I need to tell you. I meant to earlier but well, I got distracted.” She shivered at the wickedly sinful grin he sent her way.

“Well, day’s still young yet an’ I ‘aven’t ‘ad nearly enough of you. But take a breather an’ tell me now, hum?”

Willow nodded but remained silent for a few minutes. She let out a little sigh, there was no point in putting it off any longer, she should just get it over with and see what he had to say. “You remember when you kicked the fire from around me earlier? Well it wasn’t just burning wood, there was a magic book there too. I told you about Amy, didn’t I? Remember how I said she had leant us some books and Faith was going to steal… I mean borrow them from Giles? Well…”

“Easy, pet, take a breath,” Spike grinned at her. “Never known anyone to talk like you an’ I’ve met a lot of people an’ demons in my time.”

Willow let out a breath a small smile touching her lips. “I babble, I know. I don’t know why I do it, it’s just how the words come out sometimes. Well, most of the time actually. Sometimes I loose Xander completely; he doesn’t say anything but I can tell by the blank look on his face.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout losin’ me, pet. ‘m more than capable of followin’ a bit of babble. Easy enough after a hundred years of deciphering Dru’s visions.”

“Does she babble too?” Willow looked surprised. She didn’t know Drusilla but from what she had seen of her Willow wouldn’t have put Drusilla down as a babbler.

“She don’t babble exactly, just talks ‘round in riddles and circles sometimes. The visions make sense to her but when she tries to tell ‘em there’s a bit of a breakdown in communication from her mind to her words an’ things get a bit jumbled. You know how she is, what Angelus did to her?”

“Yes,” Willow said softly. “We know about that.”

It said something, not just about Willow but the whole bloody bunch of them that they could feel some measure of sympathy towards a vampire as vicious as Drusilla. They did, he could tell by the expression on her face. They saw only what Drusilla had been through, not the misery she inflicted. It was almost the same way they treated Angel; choosing to push aside his reign as Angelus and focus on the good instead. Their sympathy and willingness to forgive, up to a certain point, was extremely misplaced, but Spike had no illusions that the Slayer would kill Drusilla and any other threat to cross her path if she had to just as she had killed Angelus.

She was a tough little bird no matter how you looked at it. Spike might dislike her with a passion, but he was willing to give credit where it was due.

“You were sayin’?”

“Oh yes, well, Faith did get the book for me, only one of them, and I did find something in it…” she trailed off, part of her wishing she hadn’t said anything at all.

“Well? What did you find?” Spike had a sinking feeling he already knew the answer and he didn’t particularly want to hear it.

“A spell which could reverse what I’ve done,” Willow spoke slowly, watching closely for his reaction, but Spike kept his face maddeningly blank. “I only read through it once. It was a complicated spell and I don’t remember it. I had the book with me when my mother came to take me to City Hall, she took the book along and put it at my feet when she tried to burn me. I don’t know if got damaged or not, I just know it ended up on the other side of the hall after you kicked it. I don’t know if Giles saw it before he left City Hall. If he has it, he’ll find some way to do the spell.”

“If it’s a complicated spell, will the Watcher be able to cast it?” There had to be a way to avoid the spell just long enough for Willow to realise they were just fine the way they were and didn’t need any old spell.

“I don’t know, maybe not. But Amy’s pretty powerful and she’ll be back from her vacation before school starts. She’ll be able to cast it.”

“I see.”

Willow’s eyes widened, her lips parted in surprise. “That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say when there’s a chance your life can go back to how it was?”

“Sometimes change isn’t all that bad.”

The surprise was replaced with confusion; she had such an expressive face. Spike couldn’t help himself, he reached out to drag his knuckles gently down her cheek. Willow’s eyes closed and she took a deep breath.

“If I hadn’t come back ‘ere and you hadn’t cast the spell, we wouldn’t be here right now, would we?”

“No.” Willow smiled shyly. “I’m not sorry about that.”

“Could never be sorry ‘bout this, love.”

Closing the gap between them Willow kissed him. It was a soft kiss filled with the sweetness of a first love. She poured everything into that kiss, her tongue stroking his, her hands gripping at his shoulders as her world tilted and the words she longed to say ran around in her head.

Spike’s arms slid around her pulling her closer so she was pressed against his chest. A surge of happiness washed through him, a knot of desire tightening in his lower abdomen. Pulling back to let her breathe Spike caught her bottom lip and sucked lightly, absorbing the taste of her.

“A bloke could get used to this,” he murmured kissing her once more.

Willow let out a sigh her fingers sliding along his cheekbone. Her lips pursed. “You’re so much prettier than me.”

He laughed, his eyes gleaming with amusement. “Maybe,” he conceded. “But you’re the beautiful one.”

Her lashes drifted down to shield her eyes. “You don’t have to say that, Spike.”

“You don’t believe me.” Catching her chin between his thumb and forefinger he titled her head back. “But you ‘aven’t seen what I’ve seen. You ‘aven’t seen your face when you’re filled with passion,” his eyes caught hers. “And you ‘aven’t seen you’re face when your filled with me.”

She could feel her cheeks burning but Willow couldn’t look away. Her heart pounded in her chest which was suddenly too tight to breathe comfortably; she hadn’t known it was possible to want someone as much as she wanted Spike.

“I don’t want you to leave.” The words tumbled passed her lips before she could stop them.

Spike frowned. “Where am I goin’?”

Willow shrugged. “I don’t know. Back to Drusilla maybe?”

“What’s this now?”

“If we reverse the spell you’ll go away,” Willow said softly, letting her eyes drift down again to hide the tears. “I know you’ve only stayed this long because you were waiting for us to find a way to get my soul out of you. What with one thing and another we haven’t been able to devote as much time to researching that as you’d like, but now I’ve found a way to give you what you want and when you get it you’ll leave.”

“Not gonna deny that stayin’ in Sunnyhell isn’t part of the plan, pet. It’s the Slayer’s territory an’ if I stick around sooner or later we’re gonna come to blows an’ only one of us is gonna walk away from it. You said that you’ve never been anywhere else. You said you’d like to see England. Kinda thought you might wanna come with me when I leave. I’ll take you to England, or anywhere else you wanna go. The world’s yours, love, if you want it.”

“I don’t want the world, Spike. I don’t need it.”

He was hurt, Willow saw it in his face. His jaw tightened and his eyes cooled as she rejected his gift.

Stroking along his jaw Willow kissed the tip of his nose, pleased to see the flash of surprise in his eyes. Spike was so difficult to read most of the time.

“The only thing I want is to be with you, whether that’s in Sunnydale or England or someplace else.”

“Really?”

He looked a little disbelieving and wary; at first Willow couldn’t understand it. Then it occurred to her; he had been with Drusilla for over a century and she had still gone running around with Angelus when he had returned, she’d cheated on him with a Chaos demon and goodness only knew what else had transpired in their relationship Spike hadn’t mentioned.

Willow nodded. “The real reason I wanted Amy’s books was so I could have a little time to play with and maybe convince you that sharing a soul might not be that bad. If I took my soul back from you I thought you might feel differently about me.”

Spike chuckled and shook his head. “Kinda thought the same thing ‘bout you, pet.”

“I don’t think it’ll change things, I don’t think it can really affect the way we feel, but, well, can we just leave things the way they are for now? We don’t really need to mess about with soul’s do we?”

“Don’t think we do. It’s not exactly hurtin’ is it? The way things are now I mean.” Spike tucked her hair behind her ears. It was still there, lingering in the background; the fear that the return of her whole soul would in fact change the way she looked at him and Spike didn’t think he could take it if she rejected him. “And it stops Peaches and the Slayer tryin’ to kill me, so that’s an added bonus.”

“Buffy won’t kill you, Spike. She wouldn’t do that to me.”

Spike considered before replying. “She might, if she thought what you felt was a result of you puttin’ part of your soul in me. She’d wanna do the reversal spell. She’s your friend, you can’t really blame her for wantin’ to help you even if she is an interfering bitch.”

Willow swallowed back a laugh. “You really know how to compliment and insult Buffy all at once, don’t you?”

Spike grinned. “I think our best bet is to head down to City Hall when the sun goes down an’ see what’s left of that book. We’ll take it from there, whadday say?”

“Alright. I guess there’s not much else we can do in the middle of the day.”

“Oh there’s lots of things we can do in the middle of the day,” Spike corrected, rolling her onto her back and burying his face against her neck.

Spike’s mouth found hers and Willow was just sinking down into blissful Spike kisses when she heard someone calling her name. Her body went ridged and her hold on Spike tightened a fraction, as though she expected Buffy to come storming in through the door and yank him away from her.

Spike felt the tingle along his spine that told him a Slayer was about. He frowned when he heard a girl yelling for him. “Not blondie.”

Willow let out a breath of relief. “It’s Faith. How did she know I was here? Oh!” she scrambled into a sitting position. “She’s going to wake Angel!”

Spike snorted getting off the bed and snatching up a pair of jeans from over the back of a chair. “Who cares.”

“I do. I don’t want him to see me… well, like this.” Willow tugged the bed sheet up over her chest.

“Can’t say I’d be to ‘appy ‘bout it either.” Carefully zipping the jeans over his erection Spike went to the door. “I’ll see what she’s shoutin’ ‘bout.” He went out and closed the door. “Oi! Slayer! What’s crawled up your arse?”

Faith paused on her way up the stairs and came back to the bottom. “There you are.”

“What’s with all the shoutin’? You wanna bring the Poof down ‘ere or what?”

“Where’s Willow? She has a problem. And Angel’s not here, he’s at the library,”

“Problem?” Spike tilted his head. “What kind of problem?”

The bedroom door opened again and Willow appeared. Spike glanced behind him an indulgent little smile curling his lips as she padded towards them. She’d thrown on an old shirt of his and it was way too big for her, the sleeves hung over her fingers obscuring them completely and the neck dipped over one bare shoulder where her hair was all tangled and mussed. She looked adorable and completely and thoroughly shagged. Spike felt his cock stir in response.

“What’s going on, Faith?”

Faith raised an eyebrow and grinned. Her grin widened when Willow flushed and looked down at her bare toes. “Don’t ask me how he knows, but he does; or at least Xander thinks he knows about you two.”

Willow stared, a look of utter surprise on her face. “Xander?”

Faith nodded and proceeded to tell Willow what had happened at the library. “So, B’s on girl talk duty and Giles might start playin’ at Nancy Drew. Both problems really.”

Willow sighed heavily. “I can handle Buffy. I’m not sure what to do about Giles. I mean, modifying his memory isn’t going to help. Amy’ll know she leant him two books and we can’t give that other one back to Giles because of the reversal spell.”

“We don’t know that it still exists,” Spike pointed out. “It could ‘ave burnt to a crisp.”

Faith looked from one to the other. “What’s he on about?”

“The book was in amongst the wood when my mother set fire to it. It might have been destroyed.”

“So it’s at City Hall?”

Willow nodded. “Unless Giles had you guys cleaning up last night?”

“He suggested it, but Angel said it was best to just get rid of the demon and leave everything else as it was for the cops to deal with. Giles didn’t like it, but B sided with Angel…”

“What a surprise,” Spike mocked.

Faith rolled her eyes and nodded once. “Anyway, Giles agreed in the end. I mean, what were we gonna say had happened? It was easier to just split and let the cops think of an explanation. Besides, B didn’t want her mother to have to deal with anymore weird stuff, even though she didn’t remember it.” She stared hard at Willow for a long moment. “You just said something about modifying Giles memory. You did something to Joyce and your mom, didn’t you?”

Willow nodded. “I wiped their memories. I thought it might be easier.”

Faith caught her lower lip between her teeth and eyed Spike. “He was covered in blood when we got there and Giles is still questioning B about what happened ‘cos her story doesn’t add up to the accounts he’s read. You did something to B too, didn’t you?”

“I may have modified her memory,” Willow admitted twining her fingers together nervously.

“So basically what you’re saying is, you two screw up in some way and then you just make everyone forget about it?”

Willow’s brow wrinkled, she had only done what she felt was necessary to save Spike a stake to the heart. Somehow it didn’t sound like such a good thing when Faith put it like that.

“It’s a mite more complex than that, but yeah, in a nut shell.” Spike was ready to pounce and wrestle the Slayer to the floor for Willow to do her little mind trick if it was needed.

“You ever screwed with my head?”

“No!” Willow looked indignant. “Why would I? You’ve never been a threat to Spike or been all disapproving and stuff.”

“I’m not B that’s for damn sure.” Propping her shoulder against the wall Faith asked, “What you planning on doing about that book? You want me to head over to City Hall and see if I can find it?”

“We were going to go tonight, but if you don’t mind,” Willow made a gesture.

“Got nothing else on right now. What’ll I do with it if I find it?”

“Take it to your place,” Spike said. “We’ll figure something out when we see what kind of state it’s in.”

Chewing on the pad of her thumb will turned guilty eyes to Spike. “What’ll I tell Amy?”

“Worry about Amy when we’ve got the book,” Faith advised.

Clicking his tongue against his teeth Spike considered the situation and the guilt ridden witch to his left. “There’s a simple solution really. Providin’ the books in one piece you can keep it an’ modify the Watcher’s memory so that he thinks he gave it to you to look through. That way you can give it back to Amy and keep it from the Watcher all at the same time.”

Faith threw up her hands. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Got more experience of being evil and manipulative than you do is all.”

She laughed. “At least you’re honest about it.”

“If there’s one thing I learnt from Angelus, its that honesty is always much more entertaining than a lie,” Spike’s lips curled into a smirk.

Willow shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “I don’t know. I don’t like all these lies. Lies are just never good and I’m a dreadful liar anyway.”

“It’s not really lyin’, pet,” Spike wheedled. “Not if the Watcher thinks its true.”

Willow frowned at him, her hands coming to rest on her hips. “It all adds up to the same thing. I never lied to Buffy or Giles until I met you two.”

Faith stifled a laugh and decided not to mention that stealing the book had been Willow’s idea in the first place. The guilt was creeping up on her and it was possible she just might crack under the pressure. Not that Faith was afraid of Giles or B, but she didn’t fancy a long winded English lecture and she fancied listening to B bitching and moaning about being a bad influence even less.

“Lets look at it this way. Do you want to reverse the soul thing?”

 

Willow shook her head. “We’ve decided not to.”

 

“Will Giles and B listen to you and leave it alone?”

 

Willow shook her head again. “That’s not very likely.”

 

“So, you’ve got two choices.” Faith stuck a finger in the air, “One, you let Giles have the book back and run the risk of them doing the spell without your consent. Or two, you do what Spike said and get what you want.” Folding her arms across her chest Faith said, “I guess it all boils down to how much you trust Giles and B, doesn’t it?”

 

They were looking at her, watching, waiting for her decision. Willow was a little cross that Faith and Spike left the decision making to her, but she could see that ultimately it had to be her decision; it was her soul and they were her friends.

 

It wasn’t as though she enjoyed messing with people’s minds, she knew it had been a rotten thing to do to both Angel and Buffy but there was a small part of her that relished that little bit of power. They all thought she was so helpless it was nice to know that she could in fact help herself and Spike if she needed to.

 

Willow wasn’t stupid, she could see that she had changed, in what she considered small ways, since she had split her soul, but she was relatively certain that the return of it wouldn’t change her feelings for Spike. It might make it a little more difficult to overlook some of his actions, but Willow didn’t think she’d stop loving him.

 

Spike on the other hand, coming face to face with goody-goody boring, old reliable Willow might change the way he felt about her. It was never good to change who you were to fit in with other people and she Jessie and Xander had never done so, always instead being the “freaks” of the class, but Willow didn’t really think she was changing to be with Spike. Spike was different to how he had been as a human and now she was different to how she had been with a complete soul; she was still Willow, just an improved version. She didn’t mind the change, she wasn’t hurting anyone and she felt better about herself. Wasn’t that a good thing?

 

For the first time it hit her that she didn’t miss her whole soul and if there was a way to get the other half out of Spike she would do it if he asked her, but she didn’t really need it back. She was having way more fun than she used to, she was living her life and seeing what she had been missing out on. Willow didn’t want to go back to being a mousy doormat or second fiddle to Buffy and Cordelia. She liked being who she was now.

 

Tucking her hair behind her ears she offered Spike a smile. “I guess a little tweak of his memory won’t hurt Giles, will it?”


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

 

“Come on, pet.” Placing a hand at the small of Willow’s back Spike guided her to the bedroom. “Don’t want your feet gettin’ cold out here.”

Willow glanced down and noticed, as if for the first time, she was in her bare feet. “Yes, alright,” she agreed, covering a yawn.

Spike grinned. “A nice little sleep, that’s what you need.” Shutting the door he reached for the top button of the shirt she wore.

“A… a sleep?” Willow looked uncertain, her eyes dropping to his fingers.

“Hum.” He brushed a kiss against her temple. “Gotta remember you’re human. Human’s need sleep. You need anythin’? A drink maybe?”

“Oh yes, I’ll just get a glass of water.”

“You get comfy.” Spike said, slipping the shirt from her shoulders. “I’ll get you a drink.”

Patting her on the behind Spike passed by her to the bathroom. If he remembered correctly there would be a glass in there somewhere, he had a vague recollection of using a glass sometime last year before deciding to drink straight from the bottle to get himself pissed and block out the sound of Angelus and Dru going at it in the rooms above him.

Filling the glass with water he went and set it on the bedside table beside Willow. “Alright, love?”

She smiled up at him. “Yes, thanks, Spike.”

Taking off his jeans Spike crawled into bed and spooned in behind her. He let out a huff. “What’s with these?” He snapped the band of her knickers.

“Oh, well… um…”

“Go on, pet,” he urged, licking the shell of ear. “Just you an’ me, hum? Nothin’ between us.”

“Spike,” she wiggled beneath the covers to get rid of her underwear and he curled around her again, inserting his knee between her legs.

“Hum?”

Twining her fingers with his Willow squeezed his hand, bringing his knuckles to her mouth for a soft kiss. “I’m glad you’re here and that you’re you.”

She felt him smile against her shoulder. “’M glad you’re here and you’re you too, love.”

XxX

Faith wasn’t particularly surprised to find City Hall crawling with cops. They had sealed the place off, including the car park, and curious members of the public were stood behind the yellow tape talking and pointing and trying to wheedle information out of the officers on crowd patrol.

She stood back and surveyed the building, there was no getting in through the front door that was for sure. The forensic team were trotting about in their white coats and boots with paramedics on standby beside their ambulances waiting for the all clear to go in and remove the bodies.

Taking off around the side of City Hall she presently came across a fire escape which the police had over looked. The ladder hadn’t been pulled all the way down, but if she jumped Faith figured she could reach the bottom rung and swing herself up.

Climbing up to a partially open window Faith peered through it into a corridor. She eased herself through the window and stood perfectly still listening for any sound of voices or movement. When she deemed it safe to continue, she turned right and made her way to the far corner. Faith let out a sigh when she came to a dead end and retraced her steps, creeping along the corridor her ears straining for other footsteps; but she heard nothing.

Finally she came to glass double doors. Easing them open Faith stepped out into the stairwell and froze when she heard feet on the steps. She let out a low breath when she realised whoever was on the stairs with her was below her and going down rather than coming up. Squatting by the railing Faith peeked down and saw the figure of a man in a suit making his way down the stairs.

There was a clatter on the stairs and another man appeared, this man was younger than the first. He also wore a suit and clutched at the railing taking deep breaths. “Mayor Wilkins, Sir. I’ve been looking for you.”

“What is it, Allan?”

“I found this downstairs.”

Faith winced as she watched Allan hold out a large brown book. She recognised it instantly as Amy’s missing magic book. At least she knew what had become of it, although she couldn’t imagine what Allan thought he was holding in his hands.

Mayor Wilkins took the book with eager hands. He turned it over and smoothed the cover with his palm before opening it and perusing the pages. “Oh!” he exclaimed a pout forming. “It’s just a magic book.”

Faith blinked in surprise. The Mayor knew about magic books?

“It’s not The Book of Ascension?”

“No.” The Mayor let out a little sigh.

“Maybe there’s something in there that might be helpful?” Allan suggested. “We haven’t really had a good look at it. You never know what might be in it.”

“Yes. Yes, you’re right,” Mayor Wilkins clapped his hands together and smiled. “Always look on the bright side. We don’t know what little secrets this book will uncover.”

“The police department aren’t any further along in discovering what happened last night, sir. If there are any survivors they haven’t yet come forward.”

“Oh,” Mayor Wilkins waved a hand. “We’re sitting on top of a Hellmouth, Allan. You should know by now there isn’t always an easy way to explain the things that happen in this town. The police won’t get anywhere near a truthful explanation, but we’ll take anything they give us. In the meantime, call in our contacts and find out what actually happened.”

“Do you suppose the Slayer has anything to do with what happened last night, sir?”

“Oh I expect one or both of them were involved.” The Mayor didn’t sound too bothered. “They’re quite useful in their own way. They keep the chaos down to a minimum. I don’t need this town being overrun with power hungry demons. Yes,” he chuckled and nodded. “It’s been quite handy having Slayers around.”

“Shall I put the book in my office out of the way?”

The Mayor nodded. “I’ll have a look at it later.” He chuckled again and continued on his way down the stairs.

Allan climbed the last curve of the stairwell and went through a set of doors identical to the ones behind Faith. Moving from her hiding place Faith crept down the stairs and followed him through the doors. It was lucky they were swinging doors, she didn’t have to worry about creaky hinges.

She saw Allan up ahead of her, he turned a corner without looking back and she started after him moving as swiftly as she dared without making a noise. Faith wasn’t the most stealthy of people. She was much more a crash in there on a hope and a prayer kind of girl. Still, luck was on her side, Allan was busy fumbling with the keys to an office door and didn’t notice her sneaking up on him.

Clamping her hand on the back of his neck, Faith slammed Allan head first into the door. He gave a spare grunt and slumped unconscious to the floor, the book slipping from his fingers. Scooping the book up Faith glanced at the door and took note that Allan Finch was the Deputy Mayor. She also noticed that he was completely unremarkable looking, she wouldn’t have picked him out of a crowd with his brown hair and pale face. His suit wasn’t even anything special. He was rather young looking to be a Deputy Mayor; Faith had always assumed Mayors were old dudes.

Spinning on her heel and tucking the book under her arm, she took off back along the corridor taking the stairs two at a time to the floor above and headed for the open window.

It was difficult navigating the fire escape with the book, it was a bulky thing and she couldn’t even tuck it into the waistband of her jeans; but she managed to reach solid ground again without incident.

Faith didn’t hang around to examine the book, she wanted to put as much distance between her and City Hall and that weird Mayor Wilkins as she could. She wondered what he would say when Allan Finch told him he had lost the book. The Mayor hadn’t seemed all that bothered about the book, but he was obviously looking for something, something to do with The Ascension; whatever the hell that was.                                                                                  

Absently stroking the spine of the book Faith racked her brains trying to remember if she had heard anything at all about an Ascension, but she came up empty. She decided to mention it to Willow when she saw her later tonight; Faith wouldn’t put it past Buffy to secretly be researching this Ascension thing and just not tell her about it.

XxX

Angel had made his excuses to Buffy and left the library. He couldn’t stay there with her looking at him the way she did from behind veiled eyes. Angel wasn’t sure if Buffy continually had that look of naked longing in her eyes whenever he was around, or whether he was seeing it now that his feelings for Spike were growing.

The last thing Angel wanted was to hurt Buffy in any way, but it was inevitable she would feel betrayed, replaced, humiliated even, when his plan to be with Spike came to fruition. He was her first love and the love of a young girl was a strong force, especially when the object of that love was a somewhat tragically heroic figure.

Angel never for a moment considered himself a tragically heroic figure, but he knew Buffy had built him up in her head, made excuses for the evil and misery he had caused last year and put him on a pedestal. It was inevitable really, they had the forbidden love thing going on that would appeal to a teenage girl, and a teenage girl, even if she was the Slayer, would always make excuses for the one she loved and would always pine for what she couldn’t have in a tragically romantic way.

Lifting his hand to get the barman’s attention Angel ordered another scotch. The Bronze was pretty quiet this time of day. He hadn’t even been aware it opened in the afternoon, but seeming as he wasn’t really welcome at Willy’s and he had no desire to return to Spike and Willow’s house of fucking, he had ventured to try The Bronze. If it was closed, as Angel had expected, breaking and entering wasn’t really going to bother him when he desperately needed a drink to take the edge off his temper.

“You’re knocking them back a bit, aren’t you?” A young girl had taken the stool beside him. She ordered a coke when the barman placed the glass of scotch in front of Angel.

“Not nearly enough,” Angel replied. It was unusual for anyone to talk to him. He had that non-approachable look to him and Angel knew it. It wasn’t something he worked to perfect, it was just something he had obtained over the years from trying to keep humans at a distance to stop the temptation of sinking his fangs into their necks. Angel wasn’t one to welcome company, but he felt he wouldn’t mind someone intruding upon his thoughts right now. His thoughts weren’t exactly of the cheery variety.

“Bad day, huh?”

“You have no idea.” Angel knocked his scotch back with a neat flick of the wrist and motioned for another.

“Well,” she sipped her coke. “Whenever I see a man drinking the way you are I can narrow his problems down to one thing.”

“Oh?”

“Uh huh. A woman.”

Angel laughed shortly and glanced at her. She was a pretty little thing with big, guileless eyes and soft brown hair to her shoulders. She didn’t look much older than Buffy. “And what would you know about it?”

“More than you’d think,” she responded wisely. “Did she dump you?”

“No.”

“Do you want to dump her?”

“Not exactly.” Angel closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Ah,” she nodded once. “Well, there’s no easy way to say it, you know. You’re just gonna have to do it.”

Angel looked confused. “What?”

“Telling her you have feelings for someone else, there’s no way to say it that’s not gonna make her want to claw your eyes out. There’s no way to soften the blow.”

“How did you know?”

“I know a fair bit about relationships.”

Seeming as his last relationship of any kind had involved Darla, Dru and Spike before the return of his soul it stood to reason he was out of practice with feelings and such, it wasn’t such a stretch to think this little slip of a girl would know more about relationships than he would.

His mind drifted; if he had never met Buffy he would never have returned as Angelus. If he had never returned as Angelus he would never have realised just how he had missed Spike; and he had missed Spike, so very much. Spike was the first man in over a century he had bonded with, shared a life with. Angelus had been cruel to Spike and Angel knew it, but it had been essential; Darla would never have stood for someone, especially a member of her own bloodline, coming between her and her darling boy Angelus.

It wasn’t that Darla disliked Spike, she had enjoyed him on numerous occasions just as Angelus had; but Angelus was hers, she had made him, she had taught him, she had given up The Master’s court to be with him and nothing would part them until Darla wished it. If she had known, even had an inkling that Angelus preferred Spike’s company to hers, Spike would have been dust a long time ago.

Angel’s thoughts crept back to Buffy. Guilt was not a new feeling for Angel; he and guilt were old friends, bosom buddies, and his guilt over Buffy wasn’t new either. He had almost ruined her life, in fact, he guessed a lot of people would say that he had succeeded in ruining her life and Angel couldn’t really disagree.

She was set for more heartache at his hands, however unintentional; Buffy would be devastated when she found out about his feelings for Spike.

Buffy was the Slayer and there was nothing anyone could do about that but damn it, why had she had to come to Sunnydale? There was another Hellmouth in Cleveland, why couldn’t the damn Council have sent her there?

Angel frowned, it was true he had come to Sunnydale to wait for her, but that had been to help her as best he could not fall in love with her and certainly not to have her fall in love with him. Cleveland would have been the better option for Buffy. She wouldn’t have suffered half so much if she had just gone there instead.

Who knew, perhaps the man of her dreams, the right guy, the human, non-evil guy she was meant to be with was in Cleveland waiting for her right now.

“Sometimes I think it would be better for her if she had never come to Sunnydale.”

“Who? Your girl?”

“Yeah.” 

“What did you say her name was?”

Angel finished off his scotch, it never occurred to him he hadn’t told her Buffy’s name. “Buffy.”

“Buffy Summers?”

He looked at the girl again. “You know her?”

“Yes, I’m Anya, I’m friends with Cordelia.” She smiled at him. “So you’re saying … what? What is it that you’re saying?”

Angel scowled at her. “I’m saying I wish Buffy had never come to Sunnydale.”

His eyes widened as the sweet, youthful face changed to harsh red veins and eyes sharp as flint. She grinned wickedly at him. “Granted!”

 

 

 


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

 

The world seem to spin and tilt on its axis for a moment causing Angel to shut his eyes to try and control the dizzying sensation. When he opened them again he found he was standing outside the cemetery.

Angel stayed very still, stretching his senses out in all directions; tasting the air, listening intently and sniffing the wind. He concluded that he was alone, there was nothing out there he could find.

Looking around at the deserted street Angel tried to figure out where to go for help. It was clear going to see Buffy would be useless considering the wish he had made excluded her from Sunnydale. He scowled, just his luck to run into a Vengeance Demon and not realise it. He’d come across one years back when he was still evil and even though her stories had mostly involved the torture and humiliation of men, Angelus had still found them entertaining and sometimes instructive.

If Buffy wasn’t in Sunnydale then Angel made an educational guess that Giles wouldn’t be around either. That really left him Willow and Xander to call on. Willow was smarter, Angel chose Willow.

Although, he reflected as he started to walk in the direction of the Rosenberg house, how was he to explain to Willow about vampires, how was he to convince her to help him? Would she have any sort of powers without Buffy around to instigate them?

The streets were quiet; unnaturally so and it made Angel uneasy. Where were the evening joggers, the dog walkers, the cars, the I’m –just-popping-out –for –a-pint –of –milkers? Where was everyone? He didn’t even notice any cats on their evening hunts.

All the curtains were drawn, he realised as he passed from one street to another. There were lights on, but no welcoming glow in the windows; that uneasy feeling crept over him again. Something was very wrong with this Sunnydale.

He was nearing Willow’s street when he heard the scream. Everything was so unearthly silent he couldn’t help but hear it. Angel could tell by the high pitch that it was a woman. Pushing off on his heels Angel took off at a run. The scream came again and as he got closer Angel could smell the fear rolling off the woman in waves.

Rounding the corner Angel skidded to a halt to take stock of the situation. There was a white van parked up on the curb, two vampires had hold of a girl who was screaming and squirming to get free. They weren’t trying to bite her, they were trying to force her into the back of the van where another girl and a boy were already chained watched over by another two vampires.

Two vampires holding the wriggling girl, two in the van and one standing with his back to Angel, leaning on the open back door of the van. He was out numbered to be sure, but Angel had faced worse odds before and walked away from it.

Storming forward he kicked the vampire leaning on the door in the small of his back sending him sprawling forward. Turning, he gave one of the vampires holding the girl a side kick in the head (he was rather short and at a good height for a head kick). The vampire lost his hold on the girl stumbling back a few paces. The girl had the opportunity to twist her arm free and wasted no time in running for her life.

Angel considered it was so far so good. One human rescued; two to go.

Angel grunted when a fist collided with his face. One of the vampires from the van had leapt into the fray. The two who had been holding the girl were squaring up against him and the other was closing in on his left.

They were not going to fight fair and Angel expected no less. He managed to floor the vampire he had forced to relinquish his hold on the girl, but the other two came at him in synchronisation. These vampires were much more strategically aware when it came to fighting than the vampires he was used to dealing with in Sunnydale. They banded together to take him down rather than trying to outdo each other and be the one to kill him.

He put up a good fight, but they were stronger as a group than he was on his own and they had him pinned against a tree with a stake coming at this heart before he knew what was what.

“Wait!”

The stake halted in mid-air and lowered.

Angel peered around the stake wielding vampire his eyes going wide and his jaw dropping open in complete shock. This couldn’t be right!

“Don’t kill him. That’s Angel.”

Angel’s mouth worked silently before he was able to form the name. “Xander?”

Xander frowned, his head tilted slightly. “You know me?”

One of the vampires holding Angel’s arm replied before Angel could think of something to say. “Everybody knows you, Xander.”

“That’s true,” Xander said without modesty. “Put him in the van. Carefully now, don’t want anything to happen to him.”

Angel couldn’t get his head around it. Xander Harris, dedicated Scooby was a vampire. Xander Harris was wearing leather pants and a leather jacket. Xander Harris had some sort of reputation. Xander Harris had authority over other vampires.

He was forced into the van and chained up next to the humans; they were snivelling and cringing, fear oozing from every pore, although they didn’t seem surprised to be in the company of vampires.

“Where are you taking me?” Angel demanded, straining against the manacles which kept his hands at the small of his back.

Xander paused in the act of shutting the doors. He grinned wickedly. “You’ll see.”

“Can’t believe we’ve actually got him.” One of Xander’s companions settled down opposite Angel. “We’ve been looking for you for a long time. You’re not an easy vampire to find.”

Angel didn’t comment. He tried puzzling it out but he couldn’t image who would be looking for him, although he figured it if was the demon community then he probably wouldn’t be around for much longer. Great job he did of wishing for things. Suddenly being in love with Spike and Buffy’s broken heart didn’t seem all that bad.

He wasn’t in the back of the van for long, but Angel was glad when it pulled up to a stop. The humans were crying noisily and begging for their lives; they were grating on Angel’s nerves, especially since he could do nothing to help them. They just reminded him how useless he was right now. The boy had received a punch in the jaw for his trouble.

The front doors of the van opened and banged shut. Loud music bled through the walls of the van; Angel had no idea where he was. He could hear Xander greeting someone and giving orders to “take the human’s inside”. Xander it appeared was going to “deal with Angel”.

The doors swung open and Angel was hoisted to his feet and shoved forward. He jumped down to the road staring around him in absolute horror. The street was swarming with vampires and demons of all species; some had humans with them on a collar and leash, others were snacking on humans right there in the middle of the road; it was like a nightmare.

“Hey!” Xander yelled clicking his fingers at the vampire with her fangs in the humans neck. “Don’t forget to get rid of the corpse. No littering!”

Dislodging her fangs for a moment she nodded. “I won’t forget, Xander.”

“Be sure you don’t.” Catching Angel’s chains he gave him a tug to get him moving. “Don’t want the place to get untidy.”

Angel didn’t have to look at the sign above the door to know he was being taken into The Bronze. A feeling of trepidation washed over him, why hadn’t Xander taken him to Willy’s or any of the other demon bars around town? What was going on in Sunnydale?

The Bronze was not The Bronze Angel remembered. It wasn’t a place for the kids of Sunnydale High School to party, it was a demon bar. They still had the pool table, a chaos demon was playing against a Suvolte demon. Angel had to do a double take to ensure he was seeing right; Suvolte demons had been on the verge of extinction the last he had heard.

There was a game of darts going on in the corner between a polgara demon and a vampire, there was a man lashed to the wall instead of a dartboard.

The stage Oz and The Dingos had played on was still there, although now it was home to a flogging post, a hook hanging from the ceiling, a wagon wheel and various other objects of torture Angel was more than familiar with.

There were also cages hanging from the ceiling throughout the room. Angel had seen these before in clubs but there were no scantily clad men or women dancing in these for atmospheric purposes. These cages were built for capture and humiliation. The humans in them were thin and bruised, some naked, some half naked; all there for entertainment purposes.

“Xander, you’re back. I’ve been waiting for you to start the auction.”

Angel did another double take at the approaching vampire. Tall, big in the shoulders, strong, blonde; Lucius. Buffy had killed Lucius at the Harvest, he shouldn’t be here. But of course Lucius would still be alive. Nothing less than a Slayer could take a vampire like Lucius down; and Buffy had never come to Sunnydale.

“Hold on a bit longer will you? I’ve got something for The Master.” He jerked Angel’s chains and Angel scowled, of course the Master would still be alive, Buffy wasn’t there to grind the evil bastard into dust.

“Hey!” Lucius looked at Angel and started to laugh. “Look what you caught.”

Angel glowered, he itched to punch Lucius in the face but he was as helpless as the humans in the cages.

“Yep, caught me a big ole vamp with a soul,” Xander said with a grin.

“You’re Sunnydale’s answers to Captain Ahab, aren’t you?” Lucius laughed harder and pointed at Angel. “And he’s Moby Dick!”

“He’s a dick alright,” Xander agreed. “I’m gonna take him through. Won’t be long.”

“I’ll wait for you,” Lucius said.

Xander grinned viciously. “You’d hardly go ahead without me, would you? Like walking around all non-dusty, don’t you?”

Lucius said nothing, he stepped back to allow Xander to pass and Angel reflected that Xander had to be well in favour with The Master to get away talking to Lucius like that without bloodshed.

Xander led him through a back door, the room was strangely quiet, none of the music and talking from the main area could be heard. There was a long table at one side of the room, a cage at the other and a large velvet curtain which divided the room in two. Behind the curtain there were comfortable chairs and a sofa, there were plush, plump cushions scattered over the floor, a bar area and a rounded table with a bowl full of grapes and strawberries in the middle of it. There was a particularly large throne- like love seat at the head of the room and the wall behind it housed all kinds of weapons.

Angel, as he had expected, was shoved into the cage, the door locked securely behind him. It galled Angel that he couldn’t fight Xander Harris. Even if he had somehow managed to break free of Xander’s hold he was still cuffed and in the middle of what amounted to a demon’s lair. Where was he meant to go? Who was he meant to turn to?

If Xander was a vampire and Buffy wasn’t in Sunnydale what had become of Willow? Angel found himself worrying about her, where was Willow in all of this?

He heard the door go. It wasn’t the door they had come through but a door Angel hadn’t noticed. From his position in the cage Angel couldn’t see who had come into the room, but he didn’t have to, he knew who their new companion was; he could feel her all over his skin.

Angel backed up until he was pressed against the bars at the far end of the cage. Could it really be? How? He was still part of this Sunnydale even if Buffy wasn’t.

It was real, she was really there, standing beside Xander staring through the bars at him. Small, dainty, beautiful; Angel’s heart lurched in spite of himself.

“Dear boy.”

“Darla.”

Darla smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. “So, we’ve found you at last. Good work, Xander.” She reached up to caress Xander’s cheek, her eyes never leaving Angel. “Does he still have that dirty, filthy soul?”

“Yeah.” Xander ran his fingers through Darla’s hair. “Like silk,” he murmured bending slightly to kiss the blonde locks. “He tried to rescue the humans we were after.”

Darla’s lips twisted and a look of bitterness came to her eyes. “This is not what he is. He is not this pathetic creature crawling on his belly for redemption. He is strong and powerful; a master of evil and destruction.”

“So I’ve heard,” Xander said. He looked curiously at Angel. “Such a waste, hum, Duchess?”

“You have no idea.”

Xander bent again, burying his face in Darla’s hair, his fingers running down her bare arm. “You smell like honey, and you taste just as sweet you know.”

Darla smiled, sinking into Xander’s hold. “Did you bring me a new hat?” she asked suddenly.

Xander winced. “I forgot, and didn’t really have the chance what with Mr Shiny Soul over there.”

“Well, I suppose that is a good reason for forgetting, but,” Darla turned towards him, resting her hands on his arms. “You did make promise and you broke it. Such a naughty boy.”

Xander’s eyes gleamed. “Naughty boys get punished, don’t they, honey?”

Darla’s tongue stole out to lick along her bottom lip. “Vigorously.”

Angel’s lip curled, it was all so wrong on so many levels. Who knew awkward, gangly Xander would turn into someone Darla was willing to take to her bed? But then again, human Spike had nothing on his vampire counterpart.

They were moving in close, Darla’s arms looping around Xander’s neck bringing him closer and before Angel knew it their lips met in what he could only describe as a fierce, savage battle of fangs. It was such a disturbing sight, it made Angel’s skin crawl.

The door opened again, slamming into the wall. A boy appeared who Angel didn’t recognise, but with him came Drusilla, her eyes glinting in the dim light and an almost maniacal look on her face. Darla and Xander broke apart and Darla smoothed down her hair turning slightly towards Angel a satisfied smile on her face.

“Is it true? Dru said… what’s going on here?” The boy glared hard at Xander.

“Oh!” Drusilla clasped her hands together. “I told you the stars whispered delicious, deadly truths.” She came to stand beside Darla licking her lips as she clutched the bars of his prison and gazed hungrily at Angel. “He’s here.”

“Sort of,” Xander said. “He’s still got the soul, Dru.”

“Xan, I asked you a question,” the boy poked Xander in the arm.

“Watch who you’re talking to, Jessie,” Xander hissed, his eyes flashing yellow. “She might be your Sire,” he indicated Darla, “But The Master is my Sire.”

“Yes, just you remember that I’m your Sire not the other way around,” Darla tossed her head.

Jessie looked annoyed but he didn’t argue with Darla, he wouldn’t dare. He knew she teased and flirted and fucked Xander because he had been turned by the Master and because she knew it bothered him, Darla being his Sire and all and spending more time with Xander than she did with him.

“They don’t know he’s here.” Darla turned and made a shooing motion. “Jessie, go and let them know Angel’s here.”

“I reckon they know already,” Jessie replied. “Dru told us not half an hour ago to expect him.”

Drusilla smiled and hummed quietly. “Soon we will be complete. Happy we will be grand-mummy.”

“Don’t call me that!” Darla snapped.

“You’re the most beautiful grandmother I’ve ever seen,” Xander assured her with a brush of his lips against her temple. Darla allowed herself to be mollified.

Angel’s head snapped to the side. He hadn’t heard a door opening, but he was there, lurking in the shadows, Angel could smell him. “Spike!”

Spike chuckled and slid into view from behind the velvet curtain. “Look my love, a wanker in a cage.” Spike’s arm stretched out to the curtain and Willow appeared, catching his hand as he drew her to his side.

Spike looked no different, he even wore the same clothes, head to toe black with his ever present duster and red shirt, but Willow was very different. Her hair was darker and she had streaks of black in it. The tight fitting body of the dress she wore was black, it had red sleeves which dropped down into an sort of coat which was attached to the dress and flared out from her hips, whispering around her legs. Her clothes, Angel noticed, mirrored Spike’s.  

“Delighted to ‘ave you, Peaches. Comfy are you?”

Angel scowled. “What do you think?”

“I think you’re nice an’ safe where you are. No unsuspectin’ stakes flyin’ at my heart with you in there.”

“Now?” Drusilla asked, clapping her hands and looking at Willow.

Willow came forward and the others fell back to allow her a path to the cage. She was human, Angel could hear her heart beat, he could see the rise and fall of her chest and the flicker of her pulse at her throat. She still smelt of strawberries and magic, but there was something else, something harsher, darker, spicy mixed in there as well. There was also Spike; just like the other Willow, she was saturated in Spike. 

It was then he realised that he did not smell Spike on Drusilla. Angel cut his eyes back in Spike’s direction, a crowded room had once made no difference to Spike, he had only ever seen Drusilla; now those beautiful baby blues were fastened on Willow, following her every movement as he waited to fulfil any need she might express.

“No,” Willow said examining Angel closely. “I’m still not quite sure what needs to be done. I have some more research to do. Soon.” She reached out and stroked Drusilla’s arm.

Spike’s arms curled around Willow’s waist. Sweeping her hair over her shoulder he nuzzled her neck and pressed a loving kiss against the bite mark on her throat. “My beautiful dark queen.”

Willow smiled, a wash of colour creeping into her cheeks and she shivered, her nipples hardening, clearly outlined against her dress. “I’ll fix it. I promise.”

“’Course you will my beloved. Nothin’ you can’t do,” Spike said proudly. His hand crept up her ribs, his thumb strumming the nipple of her right breast.

“Can you see it, Wills?” Jessie asked. “The soul? Can you see it?”

Willow swallowed and let out a steadying breath. “Yes, I can see it.”

Darla hissed angrily. “Dirty, stinking thing.”

“I know its hard seeing him like this,” Willow said sympathetically. “But it won’t be for long.”

“Soon daddy will be home,” Drusilla whispered, a joyous light in her eyes. “Our Willow will bring daddy home.”

Angel went cold, a spear of horror arrowing down to his gut. They had a plan for him but it wasn’t what he had expected. Xander hadn’t brought him to his death, or even life-long imprisonment at The Master’s whim. Willow was going to remove his soul and bring Angelus back.

 

 


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

It was hard not to panic. The last thing Angel wanted was to lose his soul, if Angelus turned up there would be no undoing this stupid wish. Angelus would love this version of Sunnydale, he’d fit right in with the darkness and mayhem.

A tiny part of him wondered how it would be having the four of them together again. When Angelus had come out to play last year Darla had been notably absent; even Angelus had felt a small twinge over it. But it was just a musing, it wasn’t something Angel actually wanted to experience and it seemed as if the people of Sunnydale had enough to cope with at the moment without the Scourge of Europe reuniting on their doorsteps.

“How long will it take, Willow?” Darla’s hands came to rest on her hips, her eyes flitting to Angel.

“Not too long. I’m not talking weeks here, Dara. I just need clarification on a translation. The curse appears to be a combination of Romanian and Latin, I need to make sure the translation is correct or God knows what’ll happen. I could end up making it worse.”

“He has a soul,” Darla’s lips curled. “How much worse could it get?”

“I could end up making it permanent, then no amount of magic would undo it.”

Darla nodded, “That would be worse.”

“Anything we can do, Wills?” Xander asked.

Spike’s hand curled around Willow’s throat, his thumb moving slowly against her pulse. His other hand pressed against her heart absorbing its strong steady beat through his palm. She was so alive, he loved that about her; loved how soft and warm she was, how she thrummed with vibrancy and life.

His lips brushed her ear. “I get so lost in you.”

Willow smiled, her arm lifting to loop around his neck, fingers stroking the soft hair at his nape. A shiver worked its way over her body, he always affected her the same way; all world tilting, dizzying, spine tingling electricity.

“Um… what?” Willow gave Xander a blank look.

“Help, can we help?”

“Yes,” Willow’s arm dropped from around Spike’s neck and he made a small disgruntled sound against her throat. “Research today, all of us.”

“If it’ll move things along I’ll help,” Darla said.

“Me too,” Jessie said.

Drusilla smiled steepling her fingers together beneath her chin. “Words and visions and magic; the pages whisper secrets to our Willow.”

Twisting in Spike’s arms Willow pressed herself against his chest her hand smoothing his cheek. His eyes met hers filled with dark heat, reminding her why she had fallen for Spike in the first place. Leaning up on tip toes Willow kissed him, her lips soft and light, it was an easy, casual thing until Spike made a sound in the back of his throat, his arms tightening around her.

The kiss deepened, Willow’s lips opened for him, her body tightened, vibrating with sensation. His mouth was like warm velvet, his pelvis rocking against her as his tongue stroked hers. Hands fisting in the worn leather of his coat Willow whimpered, a sound that pleased him and caused Spike’s entire body to surge towards her.

Xander licked his bottom lip, his eyes flecked with yellow fastened on Darla. She gave him a look Angel was more than familiar with, but it stirred no jealously in him. Spike and Willow on the other hand had the green eyes monster howling in his chest. Even though jealousy had played a part in getting him into this mess, Angel still felt it bubbling through his veins when he saw Spike and Willow together.

“I owe you a punishment,” Darla said turning away and crooking a finger at Xander. “Come along.”

Drusilla laughed softly. “Blood and scrumptious screams tonight.”

“My kinda night,” Xander grinned, his face changing and his fangs emerging.

Jessie scowled at Xander’s retreating back; once again Xander got Darla and he was left out in the cold.

A sudden knock came at the door. Breaking the kiss Spike growled at the interruption. “Come!”

Angel rolled his eyes. Spike could be such an arrogant ass.

The door opened and a vampire came hurrying in. He did a little bow his eyes on Spike. “Mayor Wilkins is here to see you.”

“He took his bloody time didn’t he?” Catching Willow’s hand Spike led her towards the love seat and settled her there. “Harris, get over ‘ere an’ stand by your Sire like a good little boy.”

“Alright, Spike.” Xander took up residence behind Spike who was now sitting beside Willow.

Jessie went to stand just behind Willow while Darla and Drusilla sat between Spike and the door. Angel was familiar with the setup, Spike was making a subtle show of force, which was rather surprising considering subtlety wasn’t Spike’s strong point.

The hair at the back of Angel’s neck stood to attention as a thought occurred to him, hadn’t Xander said he was sired by The Master?

Once everyone was settled in their correct places Spike gave the word to show the Mayor in.

The vampire went back to the door. “Spike, William the Bloody, Slayer of Slayers, Master of Sunnydale will see you now.”

“Oh no!” Angel hissed from between his teeth. How had that happened? How had Spike managed to become The Master of Sunnydale? Where was The Master? Was he still stuck in his pit down in the bowls of the town?

“Spike!” Mayor Wilkins came into the room a large grin on his face and his arms stretched wide.

“When I send for you I expect you to drop what you’re doin’ an’ get straight over ‘ere.”

“Now, Spike,” Mayor Wilkins took a seat still smiling. “I’ve got work to do too you know. You want the town ran smoothly and I see to that for you during the day.”

“If you wanna keep doin’ it I suggest you remember whose in charge ‘round ‘ere. I say jump, you ask how high, I say get your sorry arse over ‘ere an’ you say…?”

The Mayor’s jaw clenched, his eyes flashing with anger but his voice was meek and mild when he replied. “I say right away, Spike.”

“Good, now that’s all settled,” Spike angled his body towards Willow. “My girl ‘ere has a little job for you to do, don’t you baby?”

Willow nodded. “I need you to sort something out for me.”

“Anything for a pretty lady,” the Mayor chuckled. “What do you need, Willow?”

“There’s a witch in town,” Willow began.

“A witch?” The Mayor sat upright. “Is this going to be a big problem? Will she interfere with the Ascension?”

“Our sources tell us she’s teamed up with that idiot librarian,” Darla rolled her eyes. “My guess is that they’ll try and stop the Ascension, we can’t really expect anything less from them. Naturally, we don’t want anything to go wrong with the Ascension, which is why you’re here.”

Angel perked up, Giles was in town. At least he figured it was Giles. It was a bit of a coincidence that another librarian would be fighting the forces of evil on the Hellmouth. The witch had to be Buffy’s friend, the one who had accidentally miscast the love spell for Xander. Buffy had caught him up on that when his soul had returned.

“Of course,” Mayor Wilkins nodded, a serious look crossing his face. “Do you have any more information?”

“Yes,” Willow said. “I have all the information you need. Her name is Amy Maddison. She goes to Sunnydale High. Jessie has the information written down for you, description, address, things like that.”

Jessie collected a folder from behind the small bar in the corner and handed it to the Mayor.

“Obviously my boys can’t go an’ get her,” Spike said. “They can’t get into the house or go to the school durin’ the day. That’s where you come in.”

“I’ll have her brought in tomorrow. I’ll have her collected from the school.”

“Can’t you just go and get her now?” Xander asked. “Your people can actually get into her house.”

Mayor Wilkins chuckled again. “Enthusiasm, that’s what I like to see. You don’t see it in youngsters these days. Are we dragging people from their homes now, Spike?”

“Tomorrow will be fine,” Willow spoke instead. “We have more important family matters to attend to tonight. I want to be quite clear, Mayor. I want her brought to me alive. Is that understood?”

“Well yes of course,” he assured her. “I like to limit death and bloodshed as much as possible. Such a nasty business; killing. Of course,” he let out a little sigh of regret, “Sometimes it’s the only way forward. Business is business, am I right?”

“Seein’ things my way, it’s a good way to say alive,” Spike said with a grin.

The Mayor took a moment to flip through the loose leave pages in the folder. “Is she powerful?”

“Not compared to my girl,” Spike kissed Willow’s temple, his fingers running through her hair. “Full of power, aren’t you, my dark queen?”

Willow pinked, turning her face into Spike’s neck. Praise and approval were two things sadly lacking in her life with her parents out of town so much and her peers deeming her a geek and unworthy of their time or attention. Spike never had a problem with singing her praises to anyone who would listen. Willow wanted to please him and make him proud of her, and as it turned out, Spike was proud of everything she did and frequently told her so.

It was one of many things she loved about him.

Spike’s fingers tightened at the back of her head when Willow nipped lightly at his neck before kissing that same spot and withdrawing from him. “Don’t worry, Mayor. She won’t have any power at all after tomorrow.”

“I don’t follow.”

Darla huffed, “I would have thought it was simple. Willow will drain this witch of her magic and eliminate any threat she may pose.”

“Yes of course, silly of me to have missed that,” Mayor Wilkins laughed softly. “And afterwards she goes on her merry way back to school?”

“I don’t see why not, as Darla said, without her magic she won’t be a threat.”

“Oh Wills!” Xander pouted. “I thought we’d be able to keep her.”

Willow let out a sigh. “I don’t really care, Xan. That’s up to Spike to decide.”

“Can’t say that I care much either, love.”

“So, I get to keep her? You know, for finding your old pal Angel?”

Spike laughed, reaching up he clapped Xander affectionately on the back of his neck. “Alright, ‘ave your reward if you want her.”

It sickened Angel to see Xander this way, although now he knew the boy had been sired by Spike expecting anything less would be ridiculous. Spike was the way he was because of Angelus. Angelus had delighted in having a man to share the slaughter of the innocents with and Spike had been a willing pupil in all aspects of vampirism. Spike was a product of Angelus and Xander was the next generation. Angel cringed, it was all his fault, would he never stop causing pain and misery in one form or another?

“That concludes our meetin’, Mayor,” Spike said. “I’ve got nothin’ more to say to you.”

“I’ll get on this first thing tomorrow,” Mayor Wilkins stood up and tapped the file. “Leave it to me, Spike.”

“I thought that’s what I was doin’.”

The Mayor didn’t seem at all bothered by Spike’s rudeness, he simply chuckled again and said his goodbyes to Willow before leaving.

“He’s always so damn happy,” Jessie muttered watching the door close on the Mayor.

“Annoying!” Xander said with feeling.

“You’re all annoyin’,” Spike said crossly. “Bugger off all of you. I wanna be alone with my girl.”

“We all know what that means,” Darla said standing and smoothing out her dress. “We have plans too, Xander.”

“Jessie, get started on that research,” Spike ordered. “Darla, don’t be too long with my boy an’ make sure he’s of some use at the end of it. You’ve got research to do too.”

“Yes, Spike.”

Angel’s jaw popped open. Darla was bowing down to Spike now? Darla had never obeyed any man other than The Master and she had even been willing to fall from favour with him when Angelus had asked her to stay above ground with him instead of living in The Master’s underground lair. Angel needed some answers; so far he only had bits and pieces of the puzzle and it wasn’t enough to fit everything together. He also needed to get out of this cage and find Giles. He had to warn him about Willow’s plans for Amy and Giles was probably the only person he could trust to get him back home where he belonged.

“Dru, be a pet an’ find Dalton, will you? He might be able to help with the translatin’.”

“I’ll have him sent for, Spike.” Drusilla pattered by the cage on her tiptoes. She paused to blow Angel a kiss. “Soon,” she whispered, her eyes glowing. “Soon.”

Drusilla and Darla were hell bent on getting rid of the soul, but why Spike was going along with them Angel couldn’t fathom, knowing Spike would have his reasons and Xander would do whatever Spike told him to do. If he was going to get out of the cage it wasn’t going to be through them.

Jessie suddenly appeared in front of him with a large sheet. He shook it out his face set in grim lines and threw it over the cage, it dropped to the floor in great festoons of red cotton. Angel smiled; if he wanted out, all he had to do was apply some pressure to Spike’s weakest link.

 

 


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

There was nothing much Angel could do right now stuck as he was in a cage under a blanket, so he sat down with his back to the bars intent on formulating a plan. A few moments later he let out a low groan his eyes closing and a pucker forming between his eyes. Now the blanket over the cage made sense to him. Listening to Spike and Willow had sent him to The Bronze and goaded him into making this stupid wish and he ended up in Crazyville where he yet again got to listen to Spike and Willow; he did not appreciate the symmetry.

Combing his fingers through her hair Spike drew Willow closer, slanting his mouth over hers. She yielded willingly to the kiss, her arms twining round his neck. Her body burned for him, she always burned for him. A spark had been lit between them the moment they first met, it was something that would never die out, it just kept growing; bigger, hotter, hungrier. Spike consumed her and Willow allowed it, wanted it, craved it.

He broke the kiss and Willow sucked in a much needed breath. “Spike, this seat is too hard.” She gave him a small push to allow her to get up from the arm of the seat. It dug uncomfortably into her back just below her shoulder blades.

“Alright, baby.” Spike stood, scooping her up and depositing her amongst the large throw pillows scattered over one side of the room. They had been put there for a reason and he made good use of them. “You want a drink, love?”

“No thank you.”

He turned his head to kiss her palm as she ran her hand along his cheek. “I’ll just be a minute.”

Willow took the opportunity to wriggle out of her dress stretching luxuriously against the soft fabric of the pillows. Spike did have some good ideas, these pillows were just one of them. They had spent many a happy hour locked up in this room together.

There was a sharp clink of glass on glass as Spike poured himself a drink and Willow smiled to herself as she continued to undress, it would be a nice surprise for Spike when he turned round, he preferred her naked, he had told her so on many occasions.

“Sure you don’t want one, pet?”

“No thank you.”

Spike chuckled. “Still so polite. Such a good girl you can be. You’d think I’d ‘ave rubbed off on you more.” He leant over the little bar searching for chocolate, Willow liked chocolate and Spike liked to keep some handy for her as a little surprise.

“Spike.”

“Hum? What is it, love?” He frowned, rounding the bar and pushing some bottles out of his way, he had told that idiot Jessie to stock up on chocolate and the moron had ignored his orders. Nobody ignored an order given by The Master of Sunnydale, he’d have to teach the boy a lesson. “I can’t find any chocolate.”

“Spike, I’ve got something for you.”

“What’s that, love?” Spike looked up, a low growl of approval vibrating at his throat. She was naked, lying back on the pillows her knees bent and her legs spread. “That’s my girl.” He left his drink, no longer interested in bourbon, and went back to Willow.

Dropping to his knees at her feet Spike ran his hands up her legs, pushing them further apart his eyes feasting on every part of her he could see. “A vision you are my love.”

Her eyelashes swept down to veil her eyes as blood bloomed in her cheeks. Laughing, he leant in close to press his cheek to hers and absorb her warmth. He showered her with compliments and praise, he continually told her how beautiful she was and yet she still blushed at his words, a dubious look in her eyes. He hated that, hated that she had never seen herself for what she truly was until he came along. Her classmates had paid dearly for the dismissive attitude they had shown his girl, Spike had made sure of it.

Catching her bottom lip between his teeth Spike took his time nibbling away on it as she began to undress him. Drawing her lip into his mouth Spike’s eyes closed to savor her, a shiver running over his skin when her warm palms pressed to his now bare chest.

“So warm you are,” he murmured, drawing her lip back between his, sucking gently, absorbing the taste of her.

Pulling him against her Willow wrapped her legs around his waist cradling him between her knees. Her feet pressed against the worn denim at the backs of his legs, using him for leverage as she rubbed herself against the hard bulge at the front of his jeans. “You’re my world,” she whispered, her fingers sliding through his hair, holding him still as she kissed him deeply, her tongue stroking teasingly against his.

“And you’re my only love.” He nuzzled her throat, kissing the scar where his fangs had once been. She had a scar on the left side of her throat and a scab on the right. He drank from her every day and therefore the one wound never had time to heal properly. She never minded though and always encouraged him to drink from her.

Willow smiled, her fingers trailing over his shoulder, down his chest to stroke his right nipple. “There was another.”

Spike stilled, his face clouding. “Not anymore. There’s only you, baby. You know that. Only us.” There had been a time when Spike would have enjoyed any jealously he managed to produce in her, but not anymore. It hurt that she didn’t believe she was the only one for him. “Do you want her gone? Do you want me to kill her? Just say the word, baby an’ I’ll bring you her heart on a silver platter.”

“No, Spike.” Willow shook her head. “I don’t want you to kill Dru. There’s no need. No-one else can come into our world. Nothing can come between us.”

“Nothin’ an’ no one,” he replied firmly. Her hips shifted again, pressing against his swollen cock and Spike groaned. “So hard, love. So hard you make me. Want you so bloody much.”

He kissed her again with maddening delicacy, exploring the shape and texture of her mouth as though they hadn’t done this before. Willow’s nails scraped along his nipple and it pebbled under her touch. Grasping him around the back again she lifted herself into his hips, intent on rubbing against him and finding the friction she needed, but Spike’s hands suddenly spanned her hips and pushed her back into the pillow.

“Not yet.”

She made a sound of frustration, her hands sliding down to cup his behind and try to pull him into her.

Spike laughed and kissed the tip of her nose. “Oh I’ll be inside you soon enough, pet. Fill you up with my cock, hum? Feel you stretch around me. But not yet. So much of you to touch an’ taste there is.” Dipping his head Spike found the soft skin of her inner arm, he took a moment to lick it and suck it into his mouth. Any and all mouthfuls of his girl were satisfying.

“First,” he propped himself on his elbows and palmed her breasts. Willow disliked her breasts and Spike knew it. She felt they were too small, but he liked them. “There’s your tits, such lovely tits you’ve got, love, an’ the prettiest nipples, dusky pink like the dawn.”

Hidden away in his blanket fort Angel rolled his eyes; sweet William the bloody awful poet was never far from the surface. Still, Angel couldn’t help wondering what sort of poetic appreciation he might draw out of Spike.

“Do you remember the first time I held you like this?” he wondered, a curious look crossing his face.

Willow smiled and nodded. “I always remember, Spike. You were the first man to ever touch me. Well, the only man to ever touch me,” she amended.

“And we’re gonna keep it that way.” His head bowed to allow him to take her nipple between his lips. He circled it before teasing the hardened nub with the tip of his tongue, tugging gently with his teeth until she arched up against him with a moan, a pulse of pleasure working its way through her body.

She wanted to press against him again but she daren’t. Spike could be a meanie, he could take great delight and pleasure in teasing and tormenting her, keeping her on the brink of an orgasm but denying her the release she craved and Willow wasn’t in the mood for games tonight. Tonight she just wanted to be with Spike.

Instead she tightened her hold on his head and directed him to her other breast. Spike laughed quietly before swiping his tongue along her neglected nipple, his fingers stroking the sensitive skin below her navel.

Catching his hand in hers, Willow brought his fingers to her lips, kissing each fingertip in turn before sucking his middle and index finger into her mouth. Spike made a sound of appreciation, copying her movement on her nipple.

Letting his face change, Spike rubbed his ridges against the soft skin of her stomach like a contented cat. He let his fangs drag across her flesh bringing the blood to the surface in a series of scratches quickly soothed with the flat of his tongue as he lapped at the blood before it could run and smear along her stomach.

Willow moaned around his fingers, her teeth scraping along his knuckles making him shudder. It never bothered Willow when he bit her; it was her one true connection with the demon in him, that dark, predatory nature that wasn’t apparent in his human form.

Withdrawing his fingers from her mouth Spike caressed her nipple, the wet sensation of his fingers on her already sensitized skin made Willow cry out, her hold on him tightening a fraction.

His lips were soft against her skin as he scattered kisses across her stomach, unhooking her legs from around his waist and pushing them further apart. Spike’s gaze lingered between her legs, the scent of her arousal rich and thick in the air. He turned his attention to her thigh, to another scar visible just below the base of his thumb, its twin on the other thigh was covered at this moment by his hand, Spike could feel the slightly raised tissue against his palm. Licking his lips Spike pressed down on her leg, holding her still against the floor and bit down.

Willow gave a sharp cry as his fangs slid through her skin like melted butter. It always hurt, that first slice of his fangs into her, but he always made it a point not to hurt her beyond that. Willow’s hands dropped to his shoulders, feeling the tension in the corded muscles as Spike shook slightly with the effort of letting her blood run into his mouth and not draw on her veins to cause more pain.

“It’s okay, baby,” Willow soothed him with gentle fingers in his hair. “Always taking care of me, aren’t you, Spike? Take what you want, its all yours.”

Another swallow and Spike drew back, letting out an almost desperate groan. Yellow eyes glittered in the dimness of the room, his lips stained red with her blood. His hands trembled on her legs as he fought for control and not take too much from her at once.

The sight of his demon visage did something to her, it always had. A kick of heat swept through her, and Willow suddenly became aware of how wet she was, she could feel the warmth of her arousal trickling down to her behind and her inner muscles clenched. A moan wept from her throat as she struggled to sit up, reaching for him, pulling herself into his lap as she kissed him, mindless of her blood still on his lips.

It definitely had to be a vampire thing, this craving for blood. To Willow it was just yucky, all metallic-y and nothing to get excited over.

Spike’s arms flew around her. Her flesh dimpled where he held on tight, kneading her back, grasping her behind and pulling her closer. She was so hot, so wet, Spike could feel her cunt flowing over him, soaking through his jeans to his cock and he thought he might just combust with wanting her so much.

There was fresh blood in his mouth, his fangs cut her lip as she kissed him hungrily, devouring him, rubbing against him, demanding everything he had and everything he was.

She broke the kiss to breathe, her hands dropping to his jeans, tugging wildly at his belt and zipper her heart racing, filling his ears. Spike bent his head to her neck, suckling at her pulse which throbbed in time with his aching cock. They were so much a part of each other sometimes Spike wasn’t sure where he ended and Willow began.

Her hand was warm on his cock and Spike shivered, lifting his head as she shifted in his lap to take him inside her.

Yellow eyes found hers, the green bleeding away to black and Spike’s lips curled around his fangs a sound of appreciation rumbling in his chest. “There’s my girl. There’s my ripe, Dark Queen.”

Rubbing her forehead against his Willow sank down on him, taking him deep into her body with an earthy groan. She licked the ridges along his forehead. “My dark, deadly, demon. My Spike.”

“A Goddess you are, all fire and magic.” Spike could feel her magic sparking across his skin; it crackled in the air, the candles flickered, burning brighter and brighter as she moved on him and her pleasure built.

Her body slick with perspiration Willow ground her hips against him, the sensation of his cock, thick and swollen, filling her to capacity made her feel whole, as though she were born to live in this moment with her demon lover.

Damp palms caught his face and her eyes met his. “Take what you want. Take what’s yours, Spike.”

A loud growl rolled over his tongue and Spike’s grip on her tightened, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of her hips as he thrust upwards, driving himself inside her; filling her, stretching her, possessing her.

His name fell in panting gasps from her lips as Willow’s head tipped back, pleasure washing through her. This was when she felt most alive, when Spike was inside her.

Harder, faster, Spike drove into her, taking all she offered. He could feel her muscles clenching around him, clamping down greedily as she came apart in his arms screaming his name.

Spike came with a roar when he felt the warm sweetness of her climax washing over his cock. Emptying himself inside her, Spike sank his fangs into her neck, the taste of her passion filled blood scorching his veins.

The scent of blood and sex hung heavy in the air; it made Angel ache with longing, he knew the scent of Spike’s arousal and his cock responded to it. He tried to block it from his memory and concentrate on Willow instead. When she had reached her peak he had felt the blast of magic from her. It had shaken the room, the candles burning so bright Angel was able to see their silhouette on the surface of the blanket. He didn’t know if the Willow he knew had that sort of magic at her disposal, but it was unsettling that this Willow did. She wouldn’t break a sweat in restoring his soul.

Holding her carefully Spike lowered Willow gently to the pillow her eyelashes fluttering. He smoothed her hair from her damp forehead and kissed her softly before settling himself between her splayed legs.

“Fangs,” she reminded him tiredly.

“Right.” He let the face of his demon fade and grinned at her. “Wouldn’t want to get those too near you, would we love?”

“Spike, no,” her voice was a husky plea as she touched his head. “No more.”

He smiled and kissed her stomach. “No more,” he agreed. “Just a little taste, hum?” she nodded her consent and he smiled again. Touching his tongue to her Spike groaned and closed his eyes. “The sweetest, most delicious cunt you ‘ave, baby. Warm an’ juicy like a ripe berry burstin’ in my mouth. Perfect you are, love.”

He spent a short amount of time on her much to Willow’s relief. The slow strokes of his tongue meant to sooth rather than arouse. When he was done Spike crawled up and over her body until his knees were either side of her head. “Wanna feel your mouth on me, love. Wan’ you to taste us together too.”

Her hands ran up the back of his thighs, her thumb tracing his hipbones and moving back to repeat her route. She took him in her mouth, her hands cupping the firm cheeks of his behind and encouraging him to move. Balancing on his forearms Spike lowered his head to peer through his arms where he could see her, his hips rocking lazily into her mouth. Green eyes met his, sparkling with satisfaction and desire.

Willow loved his eyes. Those baby blues had the power to send her weak at the knees with a knowing look or a glint of mischief and wicked intentions. He liked to watch her, especially when they were intimate like this and being the focal point of such desire and attention always enhanced the experience for her. She was too tried for much more right now and the only reason he was still hard was because he had taken her blood at the end.

He could stay in that position for as long as he liked and Willow knew it, the tremor in his arms didn’t speak of fatigue but his pending climax and her finger found its way into his behind, pressing down just as she took his cock as deep as she could in her current position and sucked hard.

She didn’t think it through properly, Spike came hard rocking down into her throat hitting her gag reflex. Coughing and gasping, her eyes watering Willow rolled onto her elbow to catch her breath, Spike’s hand rubbing gentle circles on her back.

“Sorry love.”

She shook her head. “My fault. I didn’t think.”

Pressing a kiss to her temple Spike gathered her in his arms and settled back into the pillows. “Alright now?”

“More like bone-meltingly satisfied, but you can use “alright” if you want to,” she glanced up at him through her lashes.

Spike laughed, a glint of masculine pride in his eyes. “Minx.” Stroking her cheek he leant over to kiss her, tasting himself in the warm texture of her mouth.

Willow let out a contented sigh. “We can stay for a while can’t we, Spike? We don’t have to leave yet?”

“Course not, love. The others can ‘andle a bit of research without us there.” His tonuge followed the shell of her ear, his voice low and thick when he spoke next. “I know exactly what I’m gonna do to you when we get home.”

“You’re insatiable, Spike.”

“You complainin’?”

Willow laughed and shook her head. “Never.”

Curling her hair around his fingers Spike rubbed the soft lock against his lips. “It’ll always be like this, won’t it, love? The Ascension won’t change things, will it?”

Bringing his fingers to her lips Willow kissed each tip and his knuckles. “Our world isn’t Sunnydale, Spike. Our world is us together and nothing can change that. The Ascension will come, and when it does we’ll stick to the plan. Our plan. We’ll do what we need to do for us, just like you said.”

“You an’ me, baby.” Spike nuzzled her temple, taking in the scent of her hair. “Always gonna be just you an’ me.”

Twisting in his arms Willow kissed him lightly, the green of her eyes draining away to black. “The town’s already yours…”

“Ours,” Spike corrected, a shiver of lust running down his spine. “It’s ours, pet.”

“Ours,” Willow agreed, her lips curling into a secret smile. “The Ascension can’t harm us, Spike. It can only bring more power to us. Soon, only a suicidal fool will stand against you.”

“Wilkins ain’t gonna be ‘appy with the way things turn out,” Spike grinned maliciously.

Willow shrugged a shoulder. “Wilkins won’t be alive to care.”

In his cage Angel listened with mounting dread. There was more at stake in this Sunnydale than he had thought. The return of Angelus was probably the least of the town’s problems. He had never heard of The Ascension and it wasn’t clear from his earwigging just what it entailed other than it would allow Spike and Willow to gain more power. Spike, as was his way, appeared to be planning some sort of double cross on the Mayor, but what about Darla, Dru, Xander and Jessie? The obsession Spike seemed to have with Willow and his willingness to kill Drusilla if Willow wished it told Angel that Spike wasn’t above double crossing his bloodline to ensure his and Willow’s survival and continued reign over the town.

He didn’t know what had happened to this Willow to make her the complete opposite to her counterpart in his Sunnydale, but it was clear that so long as she was in league with Spike they were both dangerous.

Angel knew with absolute certainty he had to get out of this cage, he had to get to Giles and Giles had to help him undo this stupid wish. He’d had to open up Pandora’s box of memories and let Spike in again, he couldn’t just let the past stay buried. Not for the first time Angel cursed himself for a jealous fool.

 


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

How long Spike and Willow remained in the room for a while. Angel couldn’t hear what they said to each other but they exchanged whispered conversations and Willow giggled and Spike laughed softly and Angel grit his teeth.

Finally, after what seemed an age, they got dressed to leave. Angel felt Spike approach, the blanket came away from the cage and Spike tossed it behind him. He stared at Angel for a moment a small smirk on his lips and a look of triumph in his eyes. “You’ll be gone soon enough an’ the demon’ll be back. When you’re a real demon again just you remember you’re back ‘cos I allowed it. Just you remember whose in charge ‘round ‘ere.” Spike’s eyes met Angel’s. “Nothin’ belongs to you.”

Angel watched Spike’s back as he crossed the room, placing an arm around Willow’s waist and a kiss to her temple he led out of the side door. The door closed with a quiet click that seemed to vibrate around the room.

Left alone, Angel busied himself with examining the lock on the cage and each bar which held him captive. He hadn’t dared try it with Spike in the room, the last thing he needed was for Spike to chain him down or sedate him or do something that would prevent him from escaping.

The cage was strong and sturdy, the lock unbreakable and his handcuffs secured tightly to his wrists. He was not getting out of the cage or this room by himself, although Angel had already come to this conclusion. Just as he began to worry that no-one would come, for if no-one came how was to get out of the cage, the door leading out into The Bronze opened bringing with it the sound of music and screams and laughter. Jessie appeared, almost creeping along the wall until he realised the only other person in the room was Angel.

“They left a while ago,” Angel offered.

Jessie nodded. He held a mug of blood in his hands and he offered it to Angel. One sniff told Angel it was human blood, he didn’t want to drink it, he knew it hadn’t been obtained from a willing donor, but he also knew he had to keep up his strength if he was to escape and outwit Spike. He took the mug, his cuffs clinking against the bars of the cage.

No matter what else he was, Angel was still a vampire and vampire’s always craved human blood. It had been so many years since he had tasted human blood; the potency of it caught Angel off guard, it flowed through his veins, revitalising him, fulfilling a need in him he had long since though submerged.

“So,” he licked his lips. “I don’t suppose you’ve got the key to these cuffs? I guess Spike only allows the really important people to have keys.”

Jessie frowned. “I’ve got the keys. Not that they’ll do you any good.”

Angel rolled his eyes. “How dangerous do you think I am? I’m locked in a cage, do I really need the cuffs too?”

“Spike’s orders.”

“To what, make me as uncomfortable as possible?”

Jessie grinned. “Something like that.”

“Well, seeming as I’ll be restored to the bosom of my family very soon, you want to tell me what the hell is going on around here?”

“What do you mean?”

“Spike,” Angel said. “How come he’s The Master of Sunnydale? What happened to The Master of the Order of Aurelius?”

Jessie’s eyes widened, a look of surprise on his face. “Don’t you know the story?”

Angel rolled his eyes. “If I knew, I wouldn’t ask, would I?”

“Where’ve you been living, outta space?”

“It may have escaped your notice, but I’m not really welcome within the demon community.”

“No,” Jessie shook his head. “It hadn’t escaped my notice. Besides, Darla told me all about you.”

Angel grinned, “I bet she didn’t.”

Jessie didn’t like the insinuation but he didn’t question the remark. He knew Angelus was Darla’s pride and joy, he knew that Darla, Drusilla, Angelus and Spike were a family unit going back over a century and it was something he and Xander weren’t a part of. The impending return of Angelus made Jessie uneasy, Darla barely had any time for him as it was, once Angelus was back Jessie knew he wouldn’t just be on the side lines, he’d barely cease to exist for her. It made his skin crawl.

“When did she turn you?” Angel asked, more to get an idea of the new time line than out of any actual interest.

“Before The Harvest. We met at The Bronze, it was different then,” Jessie made a gesture towards the door. “It was all human-centric back then. Spike changed that.”

“Spike changed a lot of things.”

“Yeah he did. You can do that when you run the town you know.”

Angel swallowed his impatience. “I guess you can. But how did he get to run the town?”

“Oh, yeah,” Jessie gave a spare shake of his head. “Well, The Master made Luke something called a vessel for the Harvest, so every human Luke killed, all the blood he took, it magically helped The Master to get stronger. It made him so strong that he could break free from his confinement underground, he …”

“… was trapped there by an earthquake sixty years ago, yeah, I know about that. Skip to the part about Spike.”

“I’m getting there,” Jessie snapped. “Well, Luke went off to The Bronze with a bunch of other vamps to feed and make The Master strong. It all went off like clockwork, it was like nothing I’d ever seen before. I mean, I could actually see The Master pushing against this invisible force field, or whatever it was; there was nothing there and when he reached out I could see it, you know, where he touched it. Anyway, The Master gets free and everyone’s happy. Time to party it up vamp style, you know? Except Spike had other plans.”

Angel made a mental note of the first change in the time line. Spike had shown up a year after The Harvest in the other Sunnydale, although Angel couldn’t quite see the connection to Buffy. The only thing he could think of was that maybe Drusilla had received a vision of some sort which had altered Spike’s plans.

“So, there we are, all down in The Master’s lair, all celebrating and stuff when in comes Spike, and he’s got Willow with him. Willow was like my best friend when I was human, it was always me, her and Xander, so I gotta say, was a bit surprised to see her there. The Master recognised Spike and thought Spike had come with an offering for him, it didn’t exactly go down that way. Spike just stood there, on his own, completely outnumbered and announced he was gonna take over Sunnydale.”

Angel rolled his eyes. “Spike always did have a flare for the dramatic. I can image how well The Master took that little announcement.”

Jessie snorted. “He was maaaad. Said he was gonna kill Spike. Spike just laughed at him and said he’d like to see him try. Everyone laughed at that, I mean come on, it was The Master against this jumped up vamp. So, they start to fight right, I’m telling you, I’d never seen anything like it before. The Master was strong, I mean he would be, right? He’s The Master, he’s older than all of us put together, but he didn’t fight like Spike, there’s a reason Spike’s killed two Slayers, its ‘cos he’s good, when he fights, he’s real good. Darla says that the reason Spike won was because The Master had been stuck underground for so long that his fighting skills were rusty. Personally, I think Willow had something to do with it. See, it was pretty obvious The Master couldn’t actually match Spike so some of the others went to help him,” Jessie shook his head and threw up his arms, “big mistake. Huge!”

“Why? What happened to them?”

“Willow, man. Willow incinerated ‘em on the spot. Up they went in flames, hardly had time to scream.” He shook his head again a look of disbelief on his face. “Spike got hold of The Master in some sort of arm and head lock hold and Willow did something to him, I don’t know what it was, but she took his blood from clear across the room. There were these little drops of blood just floating through the air and she put them in a test tube. I think she swiped it from the science lab, Willow was always good at science, you know. Much better than me and Xan ever were. She held the rest of us back with magic, was nothing we could do except stand there and watch.”

“The Master’s blood? Why did she want that?”

“Dru was sick, I didn’t know vamps got sick,” he mused quietly. “Spike needed Sire’s blood to heal her. He wanted you, but Willow told me later that after she had looked at the spell she could work it with blood from The Master, what with him being head of the bloodline and everything.” Jessie grinned suddenly, “Wills always was the smart one.”

Angel made another mental note of the differences in his two worlds. How much use this information was going to be he didn’t know. But it was good to know that Willow had the power to dust him with a well-timed spell. This Willow was strong, much stronger than the Willow he knew and Angel had the feeling Spike was responsible for the growth of her magical powers.

“Anyway, Spike staked The Master and asked if anyone else wanted to go up against him. Nobody did so he took over. I mean, it wasn’t as simple as that,” Jessie admitted. “He did have some opposition, not all vamps followed The Master and not all demons wanted to follow a vamp; but Spike took care of all of them, Willow too. We’d been friends for years and I never knew she was a witch. She can kick some serious ass when she wants to.”

Jessie went over to the bar and poured himself a drink. He sniffed at the air, the scent of sex and blood was still heavy in the room but that was nothing new where Spike and Willow were concerned. He fixed a glass for Angel, figuring it would do well to get on his good side, having a vampire like Angelus as a friend could only be a good thing.

“Thanks.” Angel accepted the glass. “So, that’s how Spike took over the town?”

“Not exactly, there’s that business with The Anointed One as well.”

“Spike stuck him in a cage and put him in the sun to burn, right?” Angel remembered that from his own world, Drusilla had told him about it when Angelus has returned. Dru’s pillow talk could sometimes be irritating and confusing in equal measures, but other times she had some golden nuggets of information which were well worth hearing.

“Right,” Jessie gave a sharp nod of the head. “The Anointed One turned up to try and resurrect The Master. His arrival in Sunnydale split The Order of Aurelius, some followed him, others followed Spike; so Spike killed him.”

“He never could play nice with others,” Angel said.

“No reason to when he’s got Wills on his side.”

“Was she involved with The Anointed One?”

“Not that I know of,” Jessie said. “That was all Spike.”

“So that’s the story of Spike’s rise to power, huh?”

“Well,” Jessie began thoughtfully, “There’s the rampage with the witches too.”

“Rampage? What’d he have against witches?” Spike had been on a fair few rampages in his time, slaughtering entire towns at a whim and Angelus had been right there beside him to enjoy the bloodletting and bask in the fear. They hadn’t needed a reason to begin a reign of terror, boredom was often a pretty big motivator, but it seemed to Angel that everything Spike had done in this Sunnydale he had done with a reason and a clear goal in mind. That in itself was new enough to warrant Angel’s interest. Spike really would be a force to be reckoned with if he could only curb his impatience and his impulses.

“It was after the Anointed One died, a group, no wait,” Jessie’s lips pursed in thought. “It’s not a group of witches is it?”

“Coven,” Angel supplied, wishing the boy would just get to the point. Jessie was still a newbie vampire surrounded by vampire’s older and stronger than he was, but because of his bloodline and his friendship with Willow he had been elevated to the top of the food chain pretty quickly. Angel had the feeling the kid found it lonely at the top. He didn’t have the experience to know how to wield his new found power and was surrounded with older, more dominant personalities than his own. This was probably the first time he had found himself in the position of actually holding all the information and was relishing in it.

Jessie took another gulp of his drink. “Oh yeah, that’s right. A coven. Well, at this point Sunnydale was just starting to get good; for the demon’s I mean; Spike had the Mayor on board and everything. There was this deputy Mayor, Andrew or Alex or Allan, um, Allan I think. Anyway, he wasn’t on side, he joined up with this coven of witches and they tried to take Willow out; they did some spell, put her in a mystical coma. Spike didn’t take it well. He went after the deputy Mayor and ripped him apart, then he went for the witches.”

Angel could just imagine how that had played out. Spike had always been emotional, and if someone he loved was threatened he was an unstoppable force until the threat had been eliminated.

“I wasn’t there,” Jessie continued. “Me and Darla stayed behind to watch over Willow. Dru went along, she was much better by then, and she said even she had never seen anything like it before. Spike tore them all to shreds. When each witch died the hold they had on the spell over Willow eased up and she woke up. Spike started tracking down all the witches in town and Willow drained them of their magic. She was stronger when she woke up from the coma, even me and Xan could feel it and we’re new to all this stuff.” Jessie laughed and finished his drink. “Wish I was there to see it. Man, you don’t cross Spike and live to tell about it.”

“No,” Angel murmured, he knew just how violent Spike could be. Spike was strong and fearless, he fought tooth and nail for something he wanted and he loved just as fiercely. Angel was under no illusions that Spike would do all he needed to do to protect Willow. “So, Willow wasn’t as strong as she is now before the coma?”

Jessie shook his head. “Nah. Darla said she could feel the change in her as soon as Willow’s eyes opened. Darla said they were black, Willow’s eyes I mean. I don’t know, I didn’t notice, was just glad Wills was alright.”

“But how did she get so powerful?”

Jessie shrugged. “Some sort of witchy thing I expect, I don’t know. Something happened when she was in the coma though, I know that much, but only Spike knows exactly what happened. Even Xan hasn’t been told.”

“How did they meet, Willow and Spike?” In his version of Sunnydale the only reason Willow had been on Spike’s radar was because she was best friends with a Slayer. They had essentially met through Buffy. Willow’s botched soul restoration had drawn them closer together and Angel, even though he didn’t like it, could understand it. If Spike had bumped into Willow on the street without knowing she had any link with Buffy, it would just have resulted in Willow becoming his next meal, there was nothing overly remarkable about Willow to render Spike’s interest; at least Angel hadn’t thought there was. Now he had to re-evaluate; Spike and Willow were very much together in this reality and Buffy was nowhere to be seen.

“That I don’t know,” Jessie admitted. “They aren’t very big on the sharing of private stuff. I was turned before Xander and he said that he had no idea Spike was in Willow’s life before he was turned.”

Confused wrinkles popped up on Angel’s forehead. “Why did Spike turn Xander?”

“Wills asked him to. What Willow wants Spike makes sure she gets and what Spike wants Willow gives him. It’s a share and share alike kinda relationship.”

“Which will only include the two of them, believe me,” Angel warned. “It comes down to you or Willow and Spike will snap you like a twig before you can blink.”

Jessie made a show of looking unconcerned but Angel didn’t buy it for an instant. Everyone had that survival instinct in them whether they were human or demon. “Darla mentioned a librarian earlier, don’t tell me Spike’s biggest nemeses is a librarian?”

Jessie laughed. “Sort of. He’s an ex-watcher if you can believe it. He works in the school library. Mr Giles. He’s a pretty big pain in the ass for someone in a tweed jacket.”

“Why hasn’t Spike just killed him? If he’s got the Mayor on board why can’t the Mayor bring him in like he’s going to do with the girl, the witch?”

“I don’t know,” Jessie rolled his shoulders and leant against the bars of the cage. “Spike has his reasons, he always does.”

“And they’re usually pretty self-serving,” Angel said. “Spike will do what best suits Spike, he always has. What about this Ascension? What’s that all about?”

Irritation washed over Jessie’s face and his eyes clouded. “Need to know basis.”

The short reply told Angel all he needed to know. Jessie was apparently not on the list of those who needed to know. Angel doubted that there was anyone other than Spike and Willow who really knew what was going on where the Ascension was concerned. But, the Ascension could wait, information and escape had been his primary goals and Angel was fairly certain he had all the information he was likely to get out of Jessie. It was time for the escape.

“You’ll never be on the “need to know list”, you talk too much and forget who your enemy is. Either way it doesn’t really matter, you’re not going to be around much longer.” Angel gave the confused boy a winning smile before reaching through the bars and cracking Jessie’s neck.

Jessie slumped to the floor right at Angel’s feet. Angel clicked his tongue against his teeth. “Should have kept your distance. Rule number one; don’t get too comfortable with the enemy.”

He was able toretrieve the key to the cuffs and the cage out of Jessie’s pocket. Stepping out of the cage Angel stared down at the boy for a moment unsure as to what to do for the best. If all went according to plan Giles would help him reverse the wish he made and everything would go back to normal which meant Jessie would once again have died three years ago at The Harvest. He didn’t need to kill Jessie now.

Angel wasn’t sure why, but he didn’t want to kill the kid. Maybe it was because he knew Buffy had gone into The Master’s lair, risked her life for, as she had phrased it “a potential friend” and she had failed to save him. Even though she wasn’t here and had no knowledge of anyone in Sunnydale in this reality, Angel felt it was almost like slapping Buffy in the face if he killed Jessie. He couldn’t do that to her.

He decided the way out was not through The Bronze, Angel felt he could probably fool anyone he met into believing he was Angelus; but if Darla, Dru or Xander were out there they would know his soul was still intact and back in the cage he’d go. He had no idea where Spike and Willow were and he really didn’t want to end up in an altercation with either one of them.

Spike would have emergency exits in place, for himself and Willow if for no-one else. A quick survey of the room led Angel to a ladder to the second floor and from there he made his way onto the roof.

Relatively safe under the cover of night, Angel went to the edge of the roof and peered down into the street. Loud music and laugher floated back at him along with the smell of freshly spilt blood. The streets were crawling with demons of all varieties, they were openly fighting and feeding; the Lords of the Manor. Spike had turned Sunnydale into a demon’s playground.

Knowing there was nothing he could do to help the poor unfortunate humans who had somehow blundered into the clutches of a demon or two, Angel turned away from the street. The best way to help the people of Sunnydale was to undo all that he had done. Angel scowled as he jumped from rooftop to rooftop making his way to Giles apartment; was it some kind of screwed up destiny of his to always hurt the innocent people around him in way form or another?

He made it to Giles place without incident. It was quieter in this part of town, the residents having enough sense to keep within the four walls of their houses with the curtains drawn and the lights on low.

Taking the stone steps two at a time Angel had a moment of panic as he wondered whether this was the right place to try first, perhaps Giles was at the library or out on patrol.

Giles too had the curtains drawn and the lights down low, but standing outside the front door Angel could hear people talking and moving about in the apartment and his shoulder sagged with relief. He didn’t worry about how he was going to explain everything to Giles, he decided to just come out with it, no beating about the bush, there wasn’t time for that.

Angel rapped loudly on the door and the room beyond went still.

Someone peered at him through the curtain but there wasn’t enough of them for Angel to work out who it was. He assumed it was Giles and shifted his weight awkwardly. If Giles was so cautious about even opening the door to him would Giles believe his story? It was only now occurring to him that Giles might not believe him. What would he do should Giles refuse to help?

Angel stamped down the rising panic in his chest. It would do no good and he wasn’t prone to panicking anyway. There was always a way around things, there was always some way to sort things out and he would find it, alone if necessary, providing he kept a clear head and one step ahead of Spike.

His plea for help died on his lips when the door opened and Angel came face to face with Jenny Calendar.

 

 


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

Jenny surveyed the vampire on the doorstep. She knew who he was and was astounded to see him standing there. “What is it that you want?”

Angel blinked, once, twice. She was still there. He was looking at Jenny Calendar and she was talking to him in the same voice he had last heard telling him she knew how to restore his soul. She had died at his hands. He had chased her down through the school enjoying every second of the chase; the pounding of her heart, the gasping breaths, and the overwhelming scent of fear, which trailed behind her like a dust cloud.

She would never have outrun him. She was always going to die that night because Angelus had decreed it to be so. She went quickly; a snap of the neck and Jenny Calendar was no more.

The guilt he felt at seeing her now, alive and well and obviously still fighting alongside Giles threatened to consume him. Angel found he was shaking.

“Who is it?” Cordelia Chase appeared. She paused in the centre of the room and eyed Angel.

“Cordelia, get a cross bow and keep it on him,” Jenny said calmly.

“What’s going on?” Oz came into view a cross bow in his hands.

“Giles. I need Giles,” Angel said.

“What do you want with Rupert?” Jenny asked.

“I need his help. This isn’t real. I need his help to…Amy!” Angel suddenly remembered her. “Your friend the witch, she’s in danger. Tomorrow the Mayor is going to take her from school and Willow intends to drain her of her power.”

Jenny flinched, a hard look crossing her face. “And why are you providing us with this information?”

“Like I said, I need Giles help and I want you to know you can trust me even if I am a vampire. I’m not like the other vampire’s in town. I’m Angel.”

“I know who are you,” Jenny said.

“I know that. It was your gypsy clan who cursed me with the soul and you’re here in Sunnydale to make sure I’m still suffering because of it. Am I right?”

Surprise lit her eyes at his announcement. Jenny nodded. “Yes, you’re right.”

“I know all this because I killed you over it,” Angel spoke quietly. “In another Sunnydale in another reality I lost my soul and killed you to make sure you couldn’t curse me with it again.”

“Another reality?” Oz frowned. “Another Sunnydale?”

“Wonder if its as crappy as this Sunnydale,” Cordelia muttered.

“I made a wish to a vengeance demon and everything changed to this,” Angel made a circular motion with his arm. “I need Giles help to reverse the wish and put everything back to normal.”

Oz’s brow puckered an uncertain look on his face. “Why should we believe anything you say?”

“Because if I had lost my soul believe me we wouldn’t be standing here having this conversation, I’d have burnt you out of the apartment by now and the air would be filled with your screams of agony as I tortured you for the mere fun of it.”

“From what I’ve read about you I’m inclined to believe that,” Jenny said rubbing her hands up and down her arms.

“Vengeance demon’s aren’t allowed in Sunnydale,” Cordelia’s hands came to rest on her hips. “There’s magical wards up preventing them entering the town. Just how did you manage to make a wish to one if they aren’t even allowed in Sunnydale?”

“I told you, it was in an alternate reality. Where I come from there’s nothing preventing them coming ton Sunnydale. Why aren’t they allowed here?” Angel looked confused.

“There are a few demons who can’t enter Sunnydale,” Oz explained. “Spike’s banned anyone or anything that has even the slightest chance of ruining the empire he’s built.”

Angel rolled his eyes. It was just his luck for Spike to think of everything. “But witches are still allowed, your friend Amy can’t be the only witch in town?”

“Amy!” Jenny’s body made a small jerky movement. “Cordelia...”

“I’m on it,” Cordelia rounded the sofa and snatched up the phone. “Principle Snyder, it’s me, Cordelia. We need to get Amy out of town. Uh huh, yeah, we just got word. Tell Giles a man, well, when I say man what I mean is a tall, dark, hunk of salty goodness is on his doorstep. It’s Angel, he’s the one who told us about Amy. Uh huh, well we don’t know it’s not a trap….”

“It’s not,” Angel said and Cordelia paused to look up at him. “After Willow’s drained her of her power she’s going to end up Xander’s plaything. You need to do whatever it is you do and help her.”

Cordelia turned ashen, her grip on the phone tightening as she repeated Angel’s words to Principle Snyder. She listened for a moment and then said goodbye and hung up. “He said Giles is on his way home.”

Oz hoisted the crossbow again, aiming it at Angel’s heart. “If this is a trap, you’re the first one to die.”

Jenny stepped back from the doorway, just enough to give Oz a clear shot if he needed it. She couldn’t seem to bring herself to move too far away from Angel. He was right, she did know who Angel was, she did know his history. Her Uncle had sent her to Sunnydale to keep an eye on him just as Angel had said. His claim bordered on the fantastical, yet Jenny couldn’t quite explain this feeling she had deep inside her which told her to trust him. She would wait until Rupert arrived and see what he had to say.

They stood in silence for a while, Angel was acutely aware of them watching every little twitch he made and he forced himself to remain still and to try and look as unthreatening and trustworthy as possible.

It was Cordelia who broke the silence; unable to bear the strain of it any longer and her curiosity demanded to be satisfied. “If you’re telling the truth and there is another version of Sunnydale, what am I doing in it? Am I still rich and popular?”

Angel nodded. “Yes, you’re still the same, and fighting the forces of evil.”

Cordelia beamed. “I always knew I was meant to be the Queen of Sunnydale High. I am Queen of Sunnydale High, right?”

“So I’m given to understand,” Angel said. In a world which had been turned upside down he found a small measure of comfort in Cordelia.

“Being popular is the best, I don’t know why you’re so indifferent to it,” she looked expectantly at Oz.

Oz shrugged. “There’s life after High School, Cordelia, at least there’s supposed to be. Not many of our friends have made it this far. In the big wide world it won’t matter whether you’re the head cheerleader or the class nerd.” He grinned at her, “I’ll stick to my guitar and let you run the school, how’s that?”

“I don’t know what difference the big wide world makes, we’re not going to see much of it stuck here on the Hellmouth fighting vampires.”

Oz smiled softly. “You don’t need to work so hard to be Miss Popular, Cordelia. If people could just see this side of you they’d love you anyway. You’re willing to stay here and put your life on the line to help anyone who needs it.”

Cordelia kissed his cheek. “It’s the right thing to do. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t outta here the second you score a recording contract.”

He laughed. “I don’t see that happening any time soon. With just me and Devon left standing its hardly a band anymore, is it?”

Cordelia huffed. “Hardly a great reception when the groom can’t even play at his own wedding.” Holding out her left hand she examined the ring on her third finger. “Has he proposed to me yet? In your Sunnydale?” she looked up at Angel.

Angel shook his head surprised eyed darting from Cordelia to Oz and back again. “You’re not together where I come from. You’re with Xander….”

“…Harris!” Cordelia’s voice rose in a shriek. “But he’s a vampire.”

“Not where I come from.”

“More importantly, he’s a complete loser!” When Angel didn’t refute this Cordelia scowled darkly her arms crossing over her chest. “I’m not so sure I like the idea of this other Sunnydale.”

Before Oz had a chance to ask about the other version of himself, Giles appeared a stake in his hand his body tense as he watched Angel warily. Angel willingly stepped right back from the door giving Giles a clear path to enter the safety of the apartment.

“Before you say anything,” Jenny put a hand on Giles shoulder. “Hear him out.”

Angel took his time to describe his meeting with Anya and the wish he had made. He watched Giles carefully as he told the story, hoping for some sign that the Watcher believed him and would help him. Giles looked older in this Sunnydale, he was thinner, dark circles hugged his eyes and he had a five o’clock shadow covering his chin.

“This is the Hellmouth, it needs a Slayer to protect it and you had that, why in God’s name would you wish her away?” Giles was astounded and it showed.

“I had my reasons,” Angel said quietly. “Not the best reasons in the world, I admit, but that’s personal. Besides, I didn’t know I was talking to a vengeance demon, I didn’t really make the wish. It was just talk.”

“So this is why the Slayer is in Cleveland and not here where she should be. This is why innocent people live in fear and are killed every night; because you made a wish for reasons which aren’t the best reasons in the world!” Giles was almost purple in the face.

“I came here for help,” Angel said. “If I made a wish I can unmake it. There has to be a way to undo it and return everything to normal.”

“Don’t you see, Rupert,” Jenny spoke softly, hope lighting her eyes. “All this may not even be real. He hasn’t come to an alternate reality, he’s altered his own reality. If we undo the wish all this goes away and the Hellmouth has a Slayer to protect it.”

“So,” Oz stepped forward. “We can fix this? We can make Sunnydale like it was before Spike came along?”

Giles surveyed Angel for a long moment. “I know who you are, therefore I know your history with Spike. He’s obviously in your world. Is he in Sunnydale?”

Angel nodded. “But he’s not a threat. He has a soul.” Something told him it was best to withhold the truth about Spike and Willow and Angel always followed his instincts.

“Well that at least is good news,” Giles let out a sigh. “Well, I suppose the first thing to do is research vengeance demons. I’m afraid I don’t know much about them.”

“It’s not surprising, what was the point in reading up on demons who aren’t able to get into town?” Oz pointed out. “We’ve had more important things to deal with.”

“Rupert,” Jenny caught his arm and gestured to Angel. “Are we going to leave him standing out there?”

“I don’t mind, I understand you don’t have any reason to trust me,” Angel said quickly. “You can put a book just outside the door for me to look through. I’ll stand well back.”

“Rupert,” Jenny said again, pressing her fingers into his arm.

Giles sighed again. “Come on in and we’ll get started.”

Stepping into the apartment Angel closed the door behind him and watched Giles rifling through some books. Oz and Cordelia took seats at the table, their movements had a familiarity to them, Angel had a sense of relief as he watched them; even without Buffy the same people had been drawn together to fight the forces of evil.

“Come and sit down,” Cordelia smiled invitingly at Angel. “We’ll probably be a while, we usually are.”

Angel took a seat next to Cordelia as Jenny set up the laptop and Giles headed upstairs to the bedroom to collect another book. Jenny’s eyes followed him, her head tilted slightly as she listened to him cross the ceiling.

“Don’t tell him,” she looked first at Angel, “What you said about killing me in your world, don’t tell him. He doesn’t need to know.”

Cordelia’s eyes went wide. “But…”

“Promise me.” Jenny gave both Oz and Cordelia hard probing looks.

“If that’s what you want,” Oz agreed.

Cordelia bit her lip uncertainly but nodded. “I promise.”

Angel’s chest tightened, a wave of mingled respect and sadness creeping over him. Buffy had truly surrounded herself with the best, even without a Slayer present they were still fighting, still willing to sacrifice themselves if necessary for a better world. Whether it was patronizing or not Angel didn’t know, but he was proud of them; proud to say he knew them and had fought alongside them.

They were human, they didn’t have superior strength or innate hunting skills or any form of supernatural power; but they were strong and stubborn and never gave in no matter what odds faced them; in that way they were stronger and better than him. He had folded in on himself when his soul was returned, wallowed in his own guilt and misery when he could have been doing something to help the innocent and the unfortunate as these people did every day.

Giles returned with the book he had been looking for and took a seat at the table. Cordelia started, her lips parting as though she were going to speak, but she caught Jenny’s eye and changed her mind, sitting back in her chair and chewing her lower lip.

Silence reigned in the apartment and Angel could almost believe he was back in his own Sunnydale. Researching had a touch of the familiar about it and it eased the tension in his shoulders a little bit. Jenny’s fingers tapped away at the keyboard; the noise brought Willow to mind and from Willow it was just a small step to Spike. Angel stifled a sigh, he missed Spike; not I’m-on-a-crazy-power-trip Spike, but his Spike. The Spike he knew well, the Spike he had fought with and against, the Spike he had drunk with and murdered with and tortured with and loved and lost. Angel could hardly wait to get back to his world and see his Spike again.

Finally Jenny looked up from the laptop screen. “You said the vengeance demon you spoke with was Anya?”

“That’s right.”

“Have you found her?” Oz asked.

“Yes. Her name is Anyakna. We’re going to have to summon her and destroy her power source in order to break the spell.”

“Summon her? With magic?” Cordelia guessed.

Jenny nodded. “That’s right.”

“I’ll call Devon, we’ll all fit in the van,” Oz said getting up and heading for the phone. “Did Snyder say where he was taking Amy?”

“Yes,” Giles took a sip of tea. “I know where she is.”

“Cordelia, help me gather the ingredients Amy will need for the spell,” Jenny said pressing the print button and picking up the copied page from the printer sitting on a shelf just behind Angel.

There was some bustling about the room as Jenny and Cordelia put a bag together for Amy, while Oz and Giles checked their weapons. It was when Jenny hoisted the bag on the table and took a moment fiddling with the stubborn zipper that Angel first noted the gold band on her finger. He felt a jolt in his chest and squeezed his eyes tightly shut. Was he always meant to destroy this woman’s life? 

Reaching out he touched the ring with the top of his fingers. “I’m sorry,” he said softly.

Jenny gave him a small smile and shook her head. “Did it help?”

He nodded. “In a lot of ways.”

Jenny patted his hand reassuringly. “Sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the greater good. You should never be sorry for that.”  

“Devon’s here,” Cordelia said letting the curtain drop back to cover the window.

Oz grinned. “Let’s rock and roll.”

“Do you have a weapon of choice?” Giles asked Angel gesturing towards at chest sitting against the wall.

Angel took a sword out of the large chest and tucked a stake into the waistband of his trousers. “This will suit me. Thank you.”

They went down to the street where a white van was parked against the curb with a large boy standing by the open back doors waiting for them. Angel had the feeling that sneaking around at night was a regular occurrence for these people, they moved quickly and efficiently with hardly a word between them doing all they could to keep a low profile.

Angel found himself shut up in the back of the van with Cordelia, Oz and Jenny while Giles took the seat up front next to Devon.

“She got out alright, no problem,” Devon said. “Won’t take long to get to her. Snyder’s talking about moving her further afield tomorrow to make sure she’s off Willow’s radar.”

“How did Willow even know about her?” Angel ventured to ask. “And why Amy? Why is she so special?”

“Her power must be growing,” Jenny said. “Willow is a very powerful witch. We’ve figured out over the last few months that she’s somehow able to sense other witches in the area, especially if they’re strong or if their power is growing. A strong and powerful witch, while nowhere near the level of Willow’s power, still has the potential to become a very real threat. Spike doesn’t tolerate threats of any kind and he seems to especially hate witches. From what we’ve heard, any witch who survives the draining of their power can expect to die a horrendous death at the hands of Spike himself.”

Just like Spike, Angel thought, to hate all witches for what some had done to Willow.

“So witches aren’t allowed in Sunnydale?”

“They don’t seem to bother the witches much until their power becomes strong enough to require some action on the vampire’s part,” Jenny said. “Coven’s are forbidden though. All coven’s have to keep a very low profile.”

“How did Willow become so powerful?” Angel asked. “The Willow I know has magic but not like this.”

Jenny rolled her shoulders. “I don’t know.”

“I was told her power grew when she woke from a magical coma,” Angel begun. “I suppose you know about the coven of witches Spike slaughtered? They put a spell on Willow, sent her into a coma and when she woke from it she was stronger.”

“That is interesting,” Giles turned in his seat. “You see, from what intelligence I’ve been able to gather, Willow assisted Spike in taking over the demon population, but it wasn’t until after the slaughter of the witches that things really began to change and the demons took over Sunnydale with Spike at the helm.”

“I learnt all this from Jessie,” Angel said. “He and Darla were watching over Willow when Spike went on the rampage. Jessie told me that when Willow woke up he could feel the change in her power and Darla said Willow’s eyes were black.”

Cordelia sniffed, “The only interesting thing about Willow was her eyes, such a nice shade of green. She was always such a geek with ridiculous taste in clothes. How she could be of any kind of interest to someone like Spike is beyond me.”

“Black?” Giles mused. “That is curious, and very concerning. When black colours the countenance or hair or eyes in a witch or warlock it’s usually associated with dark magic, extremely dark magic. ”

“Well she’s hardly the Good Witch of the North, is she?” Cordelia pointed out crossly. “Wicked Witch of the West is more like it.”

“Hey, Giles,” Devon finally spoke. “Didn’t you tell Snyder once that demons are drawn to the Hellmouth because of its evil vibes and dark energy? Or something like that?”

“Yes, why?”

“Well, if Willow’s all dark and evil now, couldn’t the Hellmouth have something to do with it? I mean, maybe she can, oh I don’t know, use its energy for her spells or something?” He gave a low groan and shook his head. “Oh I don’t know what I mean.”

“I did wonder about that,” Giles admitted, “But I had no idea how she could have managed to make the Hellmouth work for her. It makes sense, what with the drastic personality change and the sudden power. I wonder if… if being unconscious and wrapped in a magical bubble so to speak, she was somehow more susceptible to the energy and power of the Hellmouth?”

“I don’t suppose it makes much of a difference now,” Oz said stretching out his back. “In less than an hour everything will be as it should be, with a Slayer on the Hellmouth to protect it. Right, Angel?”

Angel nodded. “I hope so.”

Devon glanced in the rear view mirror at Oz. “You wanna catch me up, man? All you said on the phone was that we needed to get to Amy and fast. You were a bit short on the details.”

It was Cordelia who jumped in to tell Devon the story of Angel’s wish. Oz wasn’t much for storytelling and Cordelia liked to talk. Angel let her talk, he felt he couldn’t go through the telling of it again, every time he thought of it Angel was filled with shame and guilt that he had singlehandedly destroyed the town Buffy had fought and died for. She would be so disappointed in him and it made Angel squirm.

“Nice wishing,” Devon said scathingly once Cordelia had finished the story. “Other people wish to be better looking, for more money, for talent, for a car, but not you, oh no, you had to make the mother of all wishes, didn’t you. Nice mess you got us all into.”

“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” Angel said defensively. “I didn’t know she was a vengeance demon at the time.”

Bringing the van to a stop and switching off the engine Devon said, “Never mind about that now. We’re here. Lets get to making the town all nice and Slayer safe, hum?”

“Good plan.” Oz opened the back doors and hopped out, reaching up a hand to help first Cordelia and then Jenny out of the van. Angel jumped out last, he glanced up at the building, just an ordinary house in an ordinary street with Devon’s van now parked in the driveway. It had a nice garden though he noticed, with rose bushes at the mouth of the driveway and colourful bursts of tulips along the border of the lawn.

“Come on in,” Giles said as he led the way inside to a kitchen.

“Amy!” Cordelia yelled. “Principle Snyder!”

A short, gnomish looking mad wearing a suit with the tie loosened appeared in the doorway. “Giles, what’s going on? Don’t shout, Cordelia.”

“We’re in need of Amy’s services,” Giles said, “Let’s go through and I’ll explain everything to you both.”

Once again Angel had to suffer through the telling of his wish while Jenny and Amy set out the ingredients on the coffee table. Amy said nothing in response to the story, she simply looked relieved that there might be a way to change everything.

Snyder glared at Angel. “What a ridiculously stupid thing to do. You weren’t the smart kid in your class, were you?”

“I hardly went to class,” Angel snapped back.

“And it shows,” Snyder said snippily. “Knowledge is power. Education is key. I keep telling you all and now you can see why. Next time you’re busy goofing off school, or day dreaming in class ask yourself this, do you want to end up like this idiot?”

“Not really,” Devon said plopping down on the sofa.

Angel glowered but said nothing. He didn’t really have a leg to stand on right now, besides, very soon Sunnydale would return to normal and he wouldn’t have to see that annoying principle again. Now he understood why Buffy complained about him so much.

“Are we ready?” Amy knelt by the coffee table and looked around the room.

“Do your witchy thing,” Cordelia said sitting on the arm of the chair.

Amy took her time measuring out her herbs and mixing them in the bowl before she started chanting. “Oh Anyanka I beseech thee….”

Angel watched Amy avidly, a small wind rolled around the room for a moment and then out of the shadows she appeared, small in stature, brown hair flowing around her shoulders, ugly veiny face and hard eyes glaring at them all; Anyanka.

She didn’t speak, she simply surveyed them all closing the distance between them with slow, purposeful steps. She exuded an air of immediate danger, the hackles on Oz’s neck started to rise as the werewolf in him rose to the challenge and he hoisted his crossbow a little higher.

“Change it back!” Angel ordered stepping forward his eyes snapping with anger.

“You dare to bark orders at me?” Anyanka hissed at him.

“We aren’t afraid of you,” Giles said firmly. “Your power only lies in wishing.”

She smiled suddenly, a hideously chilling smile. “Wrong.” Her hand shot out and she sent Snyder flying into the wall without even looking at him. He hit the wall hard with a grunt and slumped to the floor, steadying himself on his hands and knees for a moment before managing to climb back to his feet.

“The world has changed now vampire. This is the new world you made,” Anyanka smiled again. “I do hope you’re enjoying it as much as I am. I must admit it far exceeds my expectations.”

“Change it back!” Angel demanded again. He moved forward his sword held aloft circling Anyanka looking for a good opening to lunge. Perhaps if he held her life in his hands she might be willing to undo the wish.

Oz watched them with narrowed eyes, just one more step to the left and he had the perfect shot of her shoulder. He didn’t want to kill her, he had no idea if Anyanka’s death would end the wish, and he wasn’t taking any chances. But wounding her would give Angel the chance to get his hands on her and once they had her captive she might be willing to negotiate.

He fired. Anyanka gave a cry of pain as the bolt speared her shoulder and sent her staggering sideward. Angel lunged, his sword caught her in the ribs and she howled her hands shooting out to grip him by the neck. Her hold was tight, if he was human Angel wouldn’t have been able to breathe. She lifted him easily and slammed him into the wall.

“You dare to try and kill me with your ridiculous little weapons?”

Angel could see she was healing and very quickly at that. Oz’s bolt and his sword had made no lasting impression on her. Then he noticed she wore a green amulet around her neck and it was glowing. It hadn’t been glowing before. Could it be helping her heal? Was it her power source?

Grasping the amulet Angel yanked hard and the chain came apart. He tossed it across the room to Giles

“No!” Anyanka released him and turned after her necklace her hand outstretched as though she could somehow reach it even as it arced through the air to Giles.

Devon was a closer than Giles and he leapt for it. The necklace disappeared in his large hands.

“Give that back! You don’t know what you’re doing!”

“Guess we found her power source,” Cordelia said.

“Here,” Snyder snatched up a paperweight off the bookshelf which lined the wall and handed it to Giles. “Destroy it.”

Anyanka started forward but Angel grabbed her, pulling her back and throwing her bodily into the wall as she had done to Snyder. Anyanka groaned, clutching the wall to stop herself sliding to her knees. She looked at Giles who had the paperweight hovering over her amulet which Devon had set on the coffee table.

“You trusting fool! How do you know the vampire speaks the truth and his world is any better than this one?”

Giles looked up. “Because it has to be.”

Angel watched as Giles brought the paperweight down onto the amulet. The glass shattered. Anyanka screamed. A green light illuminated the room. All went silent.

XXX

Angel blinked a few times, all he could see were green spots. He rubbed his eyes. Had it worked? Was he home?

“What are you doin’ standin’ round like a bleedin’ statue?”

Angel started his hands dropping from his eyes. His vision was clear now and he saw Spike walking towards him, jeans slung low on his hips and his red shirt unbuttoned revealing his very naked chest. “Spike?”

“Yeah. What’s with the eyebrows, Peaches? You forgotten I live ‘ere now?”

“And Buffy, she’s here, right?” Angel caught Spike’s arm and shook it.

“Well, she’s not ‘ere right now.”

“But she’s in Sunnydale?” Angel insisted.

“Where else would she be?”

“And we’re friends with her?”

Spike scowled. “I’ll ‘ave to wash your mouth out with soap if you don’t watch you’re language. And ‘en I’ll ‘ave to torture you for good measure. I am not friends with the bloody Slayer! Got that!”

“Its you!”

“Uh huh. Didn’t we already establish that part?”

“Everything’s back to normal!” Angel beamed.

“I don’t know about that,” Spike said dubiously. “You’re smilin’.”

Angel laughed, relieved and happy and delirious all at once. “It’s really you Spike!”

Before Spike knew what had happened he found himself enveloped in Angel’s arms and Angel was squeezing him as though he might never let him ago. “What the hell? Peaches, are you drunk?”

Pulling back slightly Angel caught Spike’s face in his hands and pressed a hard kiss to his forehead and one to his mouth. “Can’t I just be happy to see you?”

Spike looked incredulous. “No. You’re never ‘appy to see me.”

He clapped his palms against Spike cheeks and grinned. “I am now.” Angel smiled again, turning he made his way to the stairs, he was tired, he could do with a good sleep in his own bed in his own town where everything was as it should be. “So good to be home.”

“Gone bloody loopy, he has,” Spike muttered and rubbed at his cheek.

 

 

 


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

 

Willow was just emerging from the bathroom when Spike came into the bedroom. She smiled at him tucking her hair behind her ears. “You didn’t find anything then?”

“Huh?”

“Food,” she gave his empty hands a pointed look.

“Oh, no,” Spike shook his head. “Old Mother Hubbard’s cupboards are bare. Guess we’ll just eat out, hum?”

Willow nodded. “Maybe we can catch up with Faith and see what she found out at City Hall?”

“Good plan, pet.” Spike sat on the edge of the bed to pull on his boots.

“Spike? Are you alright?” He seemed a little off to her, a little distracted. Her stomach knotted uncomfortably, now he’d gotten what he wanted was Spike trying to find a way to get rid of her?

“I’m alright, not so sure ‘bout Peaches though,” Spike frowned. “He was smilin’ and laughin’, now that ain’t normal, love.”

Willow’s eyes widened slightly. “Angel was laughing? I’ve seen him smiling now and again but I don’t think I’ve ever seen him laugh. Oh!” she rung her hands together nervously. “Was he, you know, Angel? He hasn’t, um, gone back to being all evil and stuff has he?”

Spike shook his head and grinned. “No, the soul ‘asn’t left the buildin’, it’s still Angel. Dunno what’s up with him though. Too much cheap hair gel maybe. Perhaps its finally rotted through to his brain.”

“Maybe he and Buffy are getting back on an even keel? I mean, things have been a bit, well, not strained exactly, but different, things between them have been different since he came back.”

“Oh who cares,” Spike threw up his hands and gathered up his t-shirt tugging it over his head before replacing the red shirt on top of it. “Probably helped a little old biddy cross the street,” he snorted, “Angel and his boy scout soul.”

Willow grinned, crossing to stand in front of him she untucked his collar and smoothed her hands down over his chest. “I still don’t believe you hate Angel as much as you say you do.”

Spike’s lips twitched. “Guess we’re a bit like the seven year itch to each other, with a lotta fun fightin’.”

Her stomach gave a protesting growl and she patted it absently. “Can we eat now?”

“Yeah, let’s go, pet.”

They left Crawford Street on foot, Willow slid her arm through Spike’s and he smiled, giving her hand an approving pat. She had showered before getting dressed but it hadn’t erased his scent from her completely, he could still smell it; them together and it produced a pleasurable ache in the pit of his stomach. Spike had elected not to shower himself and as a result he was saturated in her scent; strawberries and magic infused every pore of his skin and Spike revelled in it. He rather wished she could smell it too.

“There’s a diner near Faith’s motel, we could all eat there. Or, well, me and Faith could eat there,” she amended.

“I eat human food sometimes.”

“Not just hot chocolate?”

“Not just hot chocolate,” he grinned at her. “Food doesn’t help with the hunger at all. Sometimes I think eatin’ is just a habit I never completely broke.”

“Angel doesn’t eat human food.”

“Angelus never did either, nor Darla. Dru would eat scones sometimes. She liked ‘em covered in jam with fresh cream an’ tea.”

“Did you like them too?”

“Don’t mind ‘em. Prefer bread an’ butter puddin’, used to eat it all the time when I was a lad.”

Willow looked up at him her eyes narrowing as she tried to picture Spike as a little boy. The image wouldn’t come no matter how hard she tried. Looking at him now, with those beautiful blue eyes and handsome face she figured he had probably been a cute little boy, a pretty child. She let out a little sigh, when he’d grown up Spike had probably had women swooning all over him, saving him dances, giving him memento’s of lace handkerchiefs, willing to allow him to steal a kiss or two in the shadowy gardens. How many of them had wanted to marry him? How many had expected and yearned for a proposal? How many had been broken hearted by his death?

She rubbed at her suddenly tight chest, a twinge of jealously sparking in her at the thought of all those women in his past. Still, he had not married any of them, there hadn’t been one special woman in life; until Drusilla.

Willow’s jaw clenched and her eyes flared at the thought of Drusilla. She could return to Sunnydale any moment looking for Spike. She could pop up out of the shadows and say she was sorry, say she was wrong, tell Spike she loved him and he would leave. He would go with Drusilla, the woman who had sired him, the woman he loved for over a century without giving her and all the time they had spent together a moments thought. Willow felt in her heart there was nothing she could do to fight against Drusilla and a hundred years of love and memories.

“You’ve gone quiet, what’re you thinkin’ bout, sweet?”

“Oh, just trying to imagine you as a little boy, that’s all.”

Spike chuckled. “How’s that workin’ out for you?”

Willow pouted, “It’s not, I just can’t picture it. What were you like when you were little, Spike?”

He laughed again. “I was just like every other little boy, pet. Nothin’ special. No child is, not really. As cruel as kids can be, they’re also the most non-judgemental part of the human race. They accept each other an’ all play together until they start to grow up an’ start gettin’ adult notions in their ‘eads ‘bout class an’ society an’ race an’ what all.”

“That’s true,” Willow agreed, thinking of the days when Cordelia Chase and her dolls had attended tea parties throw by Willow Rosenberg. Until Buffy had arrived in Sunnydale and Cordelia had found herself involved in the fight against evil Cordelia didn’t seem to recall their childhood days at all and had only ever acknowledged her to deliver a well-timed put down.

“You know what I used to like to do?” Spike asked suddenly and Willow shook her head eagerly waiting for some new insight into Spike. “Fly kites.”

Willow blinked in surprise. “Fly kites?”

“Yeah. I used to like to go to the park an’ fly kites,” Spike rolled his shoulders into a shrug. “Made me feel free somehow, kites always did. Sometimes I’d imagine what it would be like to be the kite an’ go soarin’ through the sky an’ be free.”

It had been an image which had returned to William many times over the years as he grew into the soppy mummy’s boy he had become rather than the man he should have been. Not for William the drinking and the card playing and the horse racing, but rather the theatre, solitary walks in the park and poetry. William had cut no dashing, romantic figure to stir women’s hearts, but had been a shy and awkward gentleman who found himself suffering moments of agony when addressed by a beautiful woman who might show a little interest in him at first and he could think of nothing interesting or witty to say. William seldom got a second chance to impress, the first impression had been made and he had not come away from it in a favourable light. Women tended to leave him alone after the first attempt at conversation and he had spent many a party wishing he could be like the kites of his boyhood and fly away and be free from a society which placed too hard a burden on his shoulders to be charming and interesting and manly all at once.

“I used to think it would nice to be free too,” Willow said. “What did you want to escape from?”

“Oh just life I guess,” Spike said with a dismissive flick of his wrist. There was no way in hell he was going to tell her about William. “Everyone wants to escape sometimes, I was no exception.”

“Here we are,” Willow turned into a small parking area in front of a cheap, rundown motel. “The back steps are the quickest way to Faith’s room. I’ll go up and get her.”

She stepped onto the first stone step when a thought occurred to him. “Used to?” Spike asked. “You used to want to be free? What changed?”

Willow paused and turned back to look at him. Reaching out she touched her fingers to his cheek for a moment her eyes soft on his face. “I found my kite.”

Spike’s heart flipped over, he was positive it did. His lips parted to say something, something just as touching and honest and simple; but the words, as ever, wouldn’t come and Willow turned away and scurried up the steps to the floor above. He watched her walk along the landing, stopping halfway down to knock on a door. The door opened and Willow disappeared inside. A moment later Willow reappeared with Faith.

“Spike,” Faith greeted him when she came down the steps, she was holding a book in her hands and it was all in one piece.

“Faith,” he nodded at her, searching his pockets for his cigarettes and lighter.

“Mind if I bum one?”

Taking one for himself Spike tossed the packet to her. “Help yourself.”

Willow frowned at Faith. “You shouldn’t smoke, it’s not good for you.”

“Come on, Red, chances are some demon’s gonna kill me before the cancer can get me.”

Willow’s frown deepened at this remark. She knew Faith only spoke the truth, it was the same way for Buffy. Slayer’s didn’t have a very long life expectancy, she only had to ask Spike about that, he’d killed two of them in his time. She still didn’t like hearing it whether it was the truth or not.

Faith patted her pocket. “Got my pouch with me though, just like I promised.”

“Poultice,” Willow corrected automatically and Faith grinned.

“You found the book ‘en,” Spike gestured towards the book with his cigarette.

“Yeah,” Faith hoisted it a little higher in her arms. “And you’ll never believe what I found out. Oh, well, maybe you already know,” she glanced at Willow.

“Know what?”

“About the Mayor?”

“I don’t know anything about him,” Willow admitted. “Oh, except that he’s looking to get some traffic lights install at one of the intersections in the middle of town. It’s a bit of nightmare to cross that particular stretch of road and someone’s going end up getting knocked over sooner rather than later.” She glanced from Faith’s raised eyebrows to Spike’s amused smirk. “Well, I read it in the paper,” she said defensively. “Besides, something really should be done about it, people in Sunnydale have enough ways to die as it is without adding crossing the road to the list.”

“You might have a point there,” Faith agreed. “I hope the diner isn’t full, I’m starving.”

The diner was only around the corner and Willow and Faith made small talk as they walked. There was a tiny part of Willow which wished Spike would go away for a few minutes so she could talk about him. She wanted to tell Faith all about him, she wanted to confide in her friend that she loved him without receiving a horrified look and a long, judgemental lecture. Buffy had no room to criticize considering her relationship with Angel, but she would criticize, they all would and Willow knew it.

A small smile played on her lips as she imagined the look on Xander’s face. He was her life-long friend, someone she had loved ever since she could remember, he had told her on more than on occasion that he wanted her too and was even willing to dump the most popular girl in school to be with her; and she had not only turned him down but chosen Spike, a vampire, over her friend. Xander wouldn’t like it. Xander would feel hurt and betrayed. Xander would finally know how it felt to be rejected by someone he loved for someone he hated.

She didn’t have long to indulge in her delight and pleasure at Xander’s forthcoming misery, the diner loomed ahead of them still badly in need of a lick of paint, the sign peeling pitifully and the ever present trucks parked outside.

“It’s pretty warm tonight, shall we eat outside?” Faith suggested.

Willow’s darkly pleasant thoughts drifted away as she heard Spike voicing his agreement.

“Be quieter too,” he added. “You can give us the lowdown on the Mayor.”

Looking up at Spike as they closed in on the diner Willow felt a sudden rush of warmth and tenderness sweep over her. Swinging herself into his arms she startled Spike so much he dropped his cigarette to catch hold of her, unsure as to what she was doing. Looping her arms around his neck Willow raised herself to her tip toes and kissed him soundly.

Why shouldn’t she do what she wanted to do? Why shouldn’t she say what she wanted to say? She wasn’t causing any harm and Spike made her happy.

“I love you,” she said softly, releasing him with a smile and trotting into the diner.

Faith didn’t quite manage to cover her laugh at the astounded expression on Spike’s face. She followed Willow into the diner, her voice laced with amusement. “Chilli dog for me I think, with lots of cheese.”

Spike just stood there staring at her through the smudged glass in the door. This was the second time in less than ten minutes Willow had managed to render him completely speechless. He felt like William again.

She had said she loved him. It was the moment he had been waiting for, even if it wasn’t exactly how Spike had envisaged it happening. It wasn’t the picture perfect moment he had conjured up in his head, in fact, it was nothing like he imagined it at all; and that kind of made it perfect in its own way.

Not for Willow the endless words of William trying to find just the right words to convey his romantic nature and passionate feelings; just three words she had spoken, simply, honestly and heartfelt in much the same way she had done with him before. For someone who babbled as much as Willow could, she had a remarkable way of cutting to the plain and simple truth when she needed to. Whereas he, who usually said what he liked in a direct a way as possible found himself preparing romantic speeches which never really went anywhere when he should just say what he felt the way she did.

One hundred and twenty five years old and he could still be a bloody wanker.

Stamping on the cigarette still smouldering at his feet Spike went into the diner and joined the girls at the counter. He put in an order for fries and a bowl of meatballs with extra cheese and a soda. He rather felt like a beer but they didn’t serve it.

They went back outside and sat at the round table with the striped umbrella open above it. Faith finally handed the book over to Willow. “You still gonna alter Giles memory?”

“I think its for the best,” Willow said. “And I thought I might try a modified version of the cloaking spell to keep Amy from locating the book when she gets back. I was just going to give her the book back and ask her not to mention the spell to Giles, but she’s the one who snitched on me in the first place and got Giles thinking I’m going dark and stuff. I don’t trust her not to say anything. Ideally I’d like to alter her memory too but she’s a witch, I’m not sure how that would work out. I mean, her magic might automatically fight against mine entering her body in any way.”

 

“Sounds like a plan,” Faith said. “We don’t want to go messing with another witch if we can help it.”

 

“I’ll have a good look at the book,” Willow said. “There might be something in here that could help.”

 

“Have you seen your mom?” Faith asked, playing absently with the salt shaker.

 

Willow shook her head. “I haven’t been home yet. I’ll go after we’ve eaten and change and drop the book off.”

 

“You gonna go to the library then for your girly chat with B?”

 

Willow shrugged. “I don’t know. I was going to but I think I want a bit more time to figure out what I want to say to her.”

 

“Whatever you say, she isn’t gonna take it well,” Faith warned.

 

“I’ll handle Buffy,” Willow said “But when I’m ready to.”

 

“So,” Spike didn’t much like all this talk about the Slayer, the bitch wasn’t going to like the news about him and Willow no matter how Willow tried to sell it to her and he had the feeling Blondie just might come after him all stakes blazing. “What’s this news ‘bout the Mayor? He wears a toupee? Got a stash of porn in his office? Got a rent boy on retainer? Am I gettin’ warm?”

 

Faith laughed. “I don’t know about any of that. What I do know is….” She paused as the waitress brought their food. Once all the plates and drinks were delivered she continued. “He knows we’re sitting on a Hellmouth and he knows there’s two Slayers in town.”

 

“What?” Willow’s jaw popped open.

 

Faith told them of the conversation she had overheard between the Mayor and the Deputy Mayor. “He knew all about magic and demons and he’s very interested in The Book of Ascension.”

 

“Ascention?” Spike sat up a little straighter.

 

“Yeah, you heard of it?”

 

“No,” Willow shook her head.

 

“Yeah,” Spike said at the same time. “Accordin’ to Johnny there’s some rumblin’ ‘bout it in the demon community but he didn’t know what it was.”

 

“Johnny? Whose Johnny?” Faith asked taking a bite of her chilli dog.

 

“Mate of ours, vampire.”

 

“Making new friends are you, Red?”

 

“He’s nice,” Willow said. “I like him. He’s not so much with the grrr,” she bared her teeth and lifted her hands to her face curling her fingers into claws.

 

A smile of indulgence crossed Spike’s lips and he took one of her hands, bringing her fingers to his mouth to be kissed.

 

Willow squeezed his fingers in response. “The Ascension,” she mused, “What are we thinking it is?”

 

Faith considered. “If the Mayor knows about it and he’s looking into it, does that make it a bad thing?”

 

“Johnny didn’t know, he said it depended which side you were on,” Spike said.

 

“Maybe the demons are trying to stop it then?” Willow suggested. “You should probably ask Johnny if he’s heard anything else about it, Spike.”

 

“He said he’d tell me if he did an’ I ain’t heard from him.”

 

“We should probably head to Willy’s and see him.”

 

“Pet, Johnny knows where to find me. If he had any information he’d ‘ave come an’ told me.”

 

“It’s worth asking though,” Faith pressed.

 

Spike let out an exasperated growl. Women! They always had to have things their way! “I’ll go an’ see him, happy now?”

 

“On your own?” Willow’s mouth turned down at the corners.

 

“I know you like it at Willy’s place, love, but if I’m goin’ after information its better if I go alone. Might get a lead an’ I can’t follow up on that with you there, might not be safe for you.”

 

“Alright, Spike.” Willow let out a sigh of disappointment, she did like it at Willy’s even though she knew it was a possibility one demon or another might take exception to her presence and decide to kill her. Even with the underlying threat of danger Willow always felt safe with Spike there.

 

“We could hit The Bronze?” Faith offered.

 

“Might run into Buffy and Xander.” Willow didn’t much like the idea of having an argument with her friends in the middle of The Bronze. “We could go to my place and do some spells?”

 

“Yeah alright,” Faith hadn’t liked the idea of running into B either, but she brightened at this suggestion. Even though she couldn’t do anything to assist with the spells, she really enjoyed watching them come to life. Besides, with Spike out of the way she’d get the low down on him from Willow.

 

By the time they finished their meal it was getting late and Spike said it was the perfect time for him to hit the demon community, all demons would be up and about at this time. He kissed Willow goodbye, a soft, closed mouth kiss that made her sigh and hold on to him a fraction longer than was necessary.

 

“See you later, pet.”

 

“Bye, Spike.” She watched him walk away until he melded with the shadows and disappeared, then she turned towards home with Faith beside her.

 

“Well?” Faith couldn’t wait to get to Willow’s house. “Was he everything you imagined he was going to be?”

 

Willow blushed, bit her lip and nodded making Faith laugh. “I didn’t know it would be like that,” she admitted in a hushed voice. “I guess I didn’t really know what to expect, but… all kinds of wow.”

 

“I said he’d know how to rock your world, didn’t I?”

 

“You were right.”

 

Faith’s smile slipped a little. “What’re you gonna do, Wills? I mean about B? You tell her your in love with Spike and she’s gonna think you’ve flipped out. You’re memory spell isn’t gonna help you with this if she decides to go after Spike, and she might.”

 

“Yes she might. She’s my friend and she’ll want to do what’s best. She’ll think it’s Moloch The Destroyer all over again.”

 

“What?”

 

“Two years ago I met a boy online, turns out it was demon released into the computer system. Anyway I sort of, kinda fell for him without knowing who he was or what he was. Buffy tried to warn me and I wouldn’t listen, I was too excited at having a boy interested in me. She’ll say it’s the spell I did making me think I feel something for Spike.”

 

“You could always reverse the spell and prove her wrong.”

 

“If I reverse the spell I’ll go back to boring old me and Spike will leave Sunnydale.”

 

“If you look at it that way, then the way you feel is because of the spell,” Faith pointed out.

 

Catching her bottom lip between her teeth Willow’s brow furrowed in thought. She hated to admit it, but Faith made a lot of sense. How was she ever to convince Buffy her feelings for Spike were real when she was afraid they weren’t. With her soul intact things would be different, she wouldn’t be able to overlook the demonic nature in Spike the way she did now.

 

She would still love Spike, that much she was certain of, but would she end up like Buffy, doomed to love someone she could never really be with? The very thought of it made her feel sick.

 

“You don’t have to be the you that you were. You’re still you, Willow, you’ve just seen another side to your personality that’s all.”

 

They remained silent for some time. Willow finally spoke again as they turned up the path to her front door. “I’ll talk to Spike about it.”

 

“Do whatever you want, I’m not judging or telling you what to do, I’m just saying that’s all.”

 

Willow nodded and unlocked the door. The house was in darkness and there was a note taped to the refrigerator to say her parents had gone to a friend’s house for dinner. “Go on through,” she handed the magic book to Faith. “I’ll grab some sodas and see what chocolate we’ve got.”

 

Faith took the book and headed for Willow’s room.

 

Taking two cans from the fridge Willow squatted down to rummage through the cupboard for something sweet. She found a bag of jelly babies behind the coffee. Straightening up Willow jumped when she saw not only herself reflected in the window above the kitchen unit, but Jessie too.

 

“Hey Wills,” Jessie grinned at her.

 

Willow spun round clutching the jelly babies tightly to her chest. “Jessie? What? How?”

 

Jessie shrugged, “Just visiting. It’s your soul, taking away half of it means you can see me easier. There’s not so much of a blockage.”

 

“Blockage?”

 

“I don’t know how it works,” he laughed. “Never was much good at figuring things out, that was your department, remember?”

 

“Yes,” she said softly. “I remember. I miss you, Jessie.”

 

“I miss you guys too. Pretty lonely over here by myself.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Willow blinked back tears, they had done all they could to help Jessie but it hadn’t been enough. Now she and Xander and Buffy got to live their lives and Jessie was gone, stuck somewhere all by himself, all alone.

 

“It’s the way things work out sometimes. Things have worked out pretty well for you, huh? Spike,” he winked at her and Willow flushed. “You’re happy, aren’t you?”

 

“Yes,” she admitted. “Maybe I shouldn’t say that to you considering… well… you know.”

 

“Oh I don’t mind. It’s real you know,” he assured her. “The way you feel about Spike. I can feel it.”

 

“You can?” Excitement lit her face.

 

“Oh sure, I can feel all your emotions. It’s sort of why I’m here, to stop the pain.”

 

Willow froze, her eyes widening a fraction. “What? What does that mean?”

 

Jessie sighed a look of sadness crossing his face. “It’s Xander and Buffy and Angel. Even Giles. When you tell them the truth, they’ll kill Spike.”

 

The bag of jelly babies fell from her fingers and Willow stumbled back into the unit, gripping tightly to it to keep herself upright. It was her worst nightmare come true. “No,” she whispered fearfully. “They can’t.”

 

“They will. But you can stop it, Wills. You can keep him safe.”

 

“How? How do I keep him safe? What do I need to do, Jessie?”

 

Jessie seemed to consider for a moment before he spoke again. “What would you do for him, Willow? How far would you go for him?”

 

“I’ll do whatever I need to do. I’ll do anything for him,” she replied her voice infused with passion.

 

Jessie smiled and closed the distance between them until he was standing a hairs breath away his eyes boring into hers. “Embrace who you are, Wills. You have the power now don’t be afraid to use it.”

 

Jessie’s image flickered and then he suddenly disappeared. Willow started in surprise. “Jessie?” she stepped forward looking around the obviously empty kitchen. “Are you here?” She was greeted with silence, but Willow still felt his presence, strong and clear in the air around her.

 

“Willow! Are we doing spells or what?” Faith yelled from the bedroom.

 

“Spells,” she murmured picking up the bag of jelly babies her eyes bleeding to black.

 

 

 


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

 

Spike was just reaching for the handle when the door to Willy’s opened and Johnny appeared. The younger vampire started to see him there and then laughed. “I was just coming to find you.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, got some info on the ascension.”

“Let’s grab a drink an’ you can tell me all about it.”

Johnny put a hand on Spike’s shoulder to prevent him entering the bar. “Walls have ears, Spike.”

“Yeah,” Spike agreed, thinking Johnny had a bit more smarts that he looked to have. “They do. We’ll walk.” Digging in his pocket for his lighter and cigarettes Spike’s fingers brushed the soft velvet of the choker belonging to Willow. He held it tightly for a moment before producing the crumpled packet and his lighter. “So,” he lit up. “What you got for me?”

Johnny picked at a stray thread of his ripped stonewashed jeans. Curling the white cotton around his finger he plucked at it, smoothing his palm over the hole on his thigh, making sure there were no other wayward threads.

“That wasn’t a rhetorical question, mate.”

“Sorry,” Johnny shook his head and cracked his knuckles. “So, turns out there’s some books on this ascension thing I told you about.”

“I already know that.”

Johnny looked surprised. “You do?”

“Yeah, an’ you better ‘ave some information that I don’t if I’m gonna be walkin’ all over Sunnydale with you.”

Johnny eyed him warily. “Did you know the Mayor is involved?”

“I know a bit about it,” Spike replied evenly. “What do you know?”

“I know he founded Sunnydale back in 1841.”

Spike stopped walking and stared at Johnny, taking in his lank dark hair, Hawaiian shirt and torn jeans. On appearances, Johnny wasn’t a vampire Spike would usually trust to know what was going on in the demon community, but he had been the first to mention the ascension and he also knew there were links to the Mayor. Both pieces of information had also been provided by Faith, who Spike considered a reliable source.

“Come again?”

“Got talking to a vamp who works for a vampire called Mr Trick. He works for the Mayor. Turns out the Mayor founded the Hellmouth here after the death of a Slayer and he made some pacts with a fair few demons for immortality. There’s probably more to the story but that’s all I know.”

“Immortality huh?” Spike didn’t like the sound of it.

Johnny nodded. “If he’s already immortal I don’t get the significance of the ascension, I mean, what can he get out of it?”

“Dunno,” Spike said quietly. “But there’s gotta be somethin’ in it for him.”

“But what?” Johnny mused.

“Not so much “what?” more of, what’s in it for us,” Spike said. “I think I should ‘ave a talk with this Mr Trick.”

“We’ll probably find him at City Hall. Like I said, he works for the Mayor.” Johnny was well aware that Spike hadn’t invited him along, and he rather hoped Spike wouldn’t send him away. He could be useful, he’d just proven it and he really wanted to join forces with Spike if the older vampire would have him.

“Any leads on where we can find these books? Are they in Sunnydale?”

Johnny shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Spike considered, a smile creeping across his face. “Time to see a demon about some books.”

“You know where they are?”

“I know a demon who might.”

“What about Mr Trick?”

Spike took a long pull on his cigarette. “Mayor wants the books. He works for the Mayor. Stands to reason Trick’s lookin’ for the books, we get ‘em first, we got the upper hand. I like ‘aving the upper hand.”

“Um, yeah,” he agreed, frowning and following Spike as he turned and started back the way they had come. “Where’re we going?”

“Willy’s.”

“You think Willy’s got the books?”

“Nah, not Willy’s scene. Too big for him. But he’ll know where my demon is. I’m not runnin’ ‘round like a damn fool lookin’ for no two bit trader, he can come to me. Willy can send for ‘im.”

It would be nice, Johnny reflected to have a reputation like Spike had, all he had to do was click his fingers and he had demons jumping through hoops for him. Willy would bend over backwards to find the demon Spike was looking for and the messengers who went to fetch him would be too scared to return without him. All Spike had to do was sit and wait. A reputation like his would be a find thing to have.

Willy looked up when Spike came through the door, Johnny hot on his heels. “Just the vamp I wanna see,” he said with a nod of satisfaction.

Spike didn’t show his surprise. Instead he leant against the bar and said coolly. “What a coincidence, you’re just the snitch I wanna see.”

Willy flinched, a wary look creeping into his eyes. “Something you need, Spike?”

“Demon, bout yay high; fur on his face, bald, little horns on his head, ugly as sin. Bit of a wheeler dealer.”

Willy chuckled nervously. “Well, whadya know, that’s Skyler. Coincidence or what? He’s here looking for you.” He gestured towards the end of the bar and the very same demon slid out of the shadows.

“I take exception to being called ugly as sin,” he complained, a small pout forming as he glared reprovingly at Spike.

“Now, why would you be lookin’ for me?” Spike made himself comfortable against the bar eyeing the demon with an air of nonchalance.

“Got something I think you’ll be interested in. But um,” he paused and looked around. “Don’t do to talk openly around here, you know?”

Spike rolled his eyes, caught hold of Skyler by the scruff of his neck and swung him towards the door. The demon hit the door and bowled through it into the street. Spike and Johnny followed him out.

“Hey! What gives you the right to throw me all over the place?” Sklyer got to his feet with an indignant huff.

“Waste my time an’ I’ll do a lot more damage than throw you through a bloody door. Now, start talkin’ an’ talk fast.”

“Alright, Spike, alright,” he held up a furry hand as a sign of surrender. “Got my hands of The Books of Ascension. Very powerful works and I'm not talking about the prose. They deal with some, ah, dark stuff. And the Mayor would hate for somebody to get ahold of them before he, ah, well you know.”

“Before he what?” Johnny pressed. “What’s the Mayor got to do with all of this?”

Sklyer shuffled on the spot, uncomfortable and acutely aware of the aura of danger radiating from Spike. The last thing he wanted was to try and trade with a vampire like Spike, but he was left with very little choice. Demon’s like Spike had a habit of finding stuff out, and if Spike found out that he’d had the books and handed them over the Mayor his time was marked and Skyler knew he wouldn’t go quick and easy. Spike would drag his death out as long as possible.

“Hey, hey, read 'em and weep. That's all I got to say,” Skyler tried for bravado. “Tomorrow, I get the books. Meet me here and if the price is right, well I give the books to you.”

“If the price is right?” Spike echoed, floored by the bare faced cheek of this demon who was so beneath his notice it was laughable.

“Yeah, I want five large for the set. You get the green you get the books.”

“Five thousand dollars?” Johnny’s eyebrows lifted. “These better be some books!”

“Quality merchandise,” Skyler assured him. “You can check ‘em all out tomorrow.”

Johnny glanced at Spike, this was Spike’s party, it was Spike’s move now; although Spike didn’t appear to be paying much attention at the moment.

Spike struggled to control the urge to beat Skyler to a bloody pulp. He could scarcely believe this sorry excuse for a demon was trying to barter with him. Skyler had the books, Spike wanted the books and therefore Skyler should just give him the books. He didn’t have five sodding grand lying around his duster all willy nilly; and even if he did, he wouldn’t give it to this annoying fool, he’d spend it on his girl. Spike let his mind wander as he thought about Willow and all the things he could buy her with five grand; expensive jewels, books, his girl would like books and pretty clothes, all silks and satins and lace all soft next to her skin; he licked his lower lip.

Coming back into the present Spike snorted, like he’d give his money to this tiny runt when he could just simply take what he wanted from him.

“Fine,” Spike said at last. “You bring me the books tomorrow an’ I’ll ‘ave your money.”

Skyler brightened, it was a gamble dealing with someone like Spike, it was never clear just how he would react to things. This time the gamble had paid off. “Great,” he rubbed his hands together. “Looks like I’m on my way outta this hell hole. Same time tomorrow, Spike?”

Spike nodded, “Sounds good.” He watched the little demon scurry away before turning to Johnny. “Meet me ‘ere at sunset tomorrow, we’ll go an’ get the books.”

“You aren’t gonna give him the money are you?” Johnny asked, his lips quirking into a smile.

Spike grinned. “Now what do you think?”

XxX

Willow wandered into her bedroom still clutching the bag of jelly babies.

“You alright?” Faith asked. “You look a bit weird.”

“Sick,” Willow placed a hand over her stomach. “I feel a bit sick. I think my food was too greasy.”

“Do you want me to leave you to it?” Faith got up from the desk chair. “I don’t mind.”

Willow hesitated before she spoke. She didn’t want to appear over eager to be rid of her friend. “Maybe it would be best. I guess the last thing you feel like doing tonight is listen to me vomit, and it’s a big possibility that’s what you’ll end up doing if you stay.”

Faith’s nose wrinkled. “I’ll go. I can meet up with B at the library and head out on patrol.”

“Don’t you feel ill?”

“No,” Faith shook her head and patted her stomach. “Five by five.”

Willow let out a little sigh and followed Faith to the window as she made to leave. “Thanks for getting the book back for me, Faith.”

“Any time. Felt a bit like a secret agent,” she grinned.

Willow offered her the bag of jelly babies with a smile. “Token of my appreciation.”

Faith laughed. “You’re too kind, Red.”

“I do my best.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Faith waved and headed off into the night and Willow shut the window behind her.

She was slightly surprised to see Jessie standing by her bed when she turned back to the room. “I thought you’d gone?”

“I’m back again,” he said opening up his arms with a smile. “And ready to help.”

“Help?”

“Of course help. I’m here to help you. Now, lets talk about Spike.”

“Spike?” Willow wasn’t entirely sure why she was behaving like an echo but seeing Jessie standing in her room threw her through a time loop, she felt like she was five years old again and they were just waiting for Xander to show up so they could play a game or something.

“Yeah, you know. Keeping him safe from Buffy. You do still wanna do that? I mean, nothing has changed on the walk from the kitchen has it?”

“Well no,” Willow shook her head and sat on the end of the bed. “I still want to keep Spike safe.”

“Then get out the magic book and lets get your magic on,” Jessie hopped up and down. “Magic is the only way to do it, you do know that, right?”

Willow hesitated, “I could always talk to Buffy about it.”

She and Buffy had always talked things out before. There was nothing Buffy couldn’t tell her and Willow had always thought there was nothing she couldn’t tell Buffy, and yet she shrank from telling her about Spike; although it wasn’t really about Spike. If Buffy refused to accept Spike after her initial disapproval, Willow expected disapproval, then Willow couldn’t see how she could maintain her friendship with Buffy and that was a sobering and frightening thought.

Jessie made a face. “I thought you were serious about Spike. I thought you loved him.”

“I do!”

“Then the time for talk has passed. Now its time for action. Believe me, Buffy will take action, the kind of action that leaves Spike a big pile of dust. She’ll kill him Wills.”

Willow swallowed, her hand clutching at her throat for a moment, her eyes wide. She had known Jessie since forever, he was her friend. She, Jessie and Xander had been inseparable, telling each other everything. Jessie had never lied to her and Willow saw no reason for him to do so now.

“You couldn’t save me, Wills, but you can save Spike.”

“We tried,” she whispered, turning wet eyes to Jessie’s face. “We did try to help you.”

“I know that,” he said softly. “But by the time Xan and Buffy go there I was already gone.”

“I don’t think Xander will ever really get over it,” Willow admitted. “He doesn’t talk about you, but I think that’s because it hurts too much. It hurts to think about you.”

“I understand,” he smiled sadly. “But we have now, don’t we? I mean, we have each other again now that you can see me.”

Willow brightened and nodded. “I’m so glad I botched that spell. It’s so good to see you, Jessie.”

“It’s good to see you too. You can’t know how great it is to talk to you. Heck, it would be great to talk to anybody, but you, well, that’s just… I can’t explain how amazing it is.”

Her brow puckered in confusion. “What do you mean? When we were in the kitchen you said you were all alone, I thought you mean that you weren’t with us, me and Xan; but you didn’t, did you?”

“No,” Jessie turned away and paced the room for a moment. “I died a demon, Willow. I died without a soul, without humanity. I didn’t go where the humans go. I’m not with anyone. I’m just here, alone in the dark.” He gave her a long look. “It’ll be worse for Spike. He won’t be alone in the dark. There’s a special kind of hell waiting for a demon like Spike. He’ll suffer, Willow. Spike will suffer for eternity.”

Lips parted in a silent gasp of dismay, Willow stared horrified at Jessie her hand pressed to her chest. “No!” she whispered fearfully. “I can’t let that happen to him.”

“The only way to stop it is to eliminate the threat to his life. The only threat to Spike’s life is Buffy.”

“And Angel.” Willow opened the magic book and began to flip through the pages.

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about Angel. He won’t hurt Spike.”

“That’s one less thing to worry about then,” she said distractedly.

“Do you know what spell you’re looking for?” Jessie peered at the pages as they flipped over.

“Yes, this one,” she tapped the page and putting the book on the bed she went to the wardrobe and pulled out her candles, herbs and a bowl.

Jessie studied the spell as Willow set up her ingredients. “It says you have to have something from your enemy. Do you have something of Buffy’s?”

“Yes.” Willow went to the dresser and pulled open the middle drawer and took out a jewelled flower hair clip. “Buffy was over studying a few weeks ago. She was wearing this but it kept pulling her hair so she took it out and left it behind.” Kneeling on the floor Willow open the clip and carefully unwound the stray strands of blonde hair from the catch.

“Perfect. That’ll get the job done,” Jessie said.

“I’ll just set everything up so when Spike get’s here all I’ll need is his blood to finish the spell off.”

Jessie watched as she held Buffy’s hair in her fingers for a moment, a sudden look of uncertainty crossing her face. “It’s the only way, Willow. You love Spike, don’t you? You want to be with him?”

She nodded.

“Then this is the only way.”

She nodded again, dropping the blonde hair into the bowl. “It’s the only way.”

 

 

 


	39. Chapter 39

 

Chapter 39

“Are we going back in or what?” Johnny asked gesturing towards Willy’s.

Spike wasn’t looking at him, he was busy staring in the direction of Skylar’s retreating back. “No, come on.” Spike took off at a brisk walk with Johnny beside him.

“Where’re we going?”

“After him,” Spike said. “This Mr Trick is after the books as well, I can’t run the risk that he’ll get to them before tomorrow. He might not be able to go out during the day but the Mayor’ll ‘ave humans workin’ for him who can, an’ there’s time for ‘em to find out where the books are an’ take ‘em from right under my nose. Can’t ‘ave that now, can I?”

“So we’re gonna follow him home and demand the books, right?”

“Right.”

Conversation ceased between them as they followed Skylar at a careful distance. Spike wasn’t sure how well Skylar could see in the dark or how acute the small demon’s hearing was, and therefore kept well back. Stealth was everything when stalking prey.

Spike, in his head to toe black, blended into the shadows seamlessly, even his red shirt was dark enough not to hinder him. He glanced across at Johnny and wondered how in the hell the guy managed to stay inconspicuous, everything about him was loud.

Skylar didn’t live too far away from Willy’s. They followed him to a basement apartment all dark and dingy, Spike rolled his eyes; some demons had no idea how to live. He’d bedded down in some questionable places over the years, but only for a night or two. Spike liked his creature comforts and so had Dru, Darla and Angelus; it was high living for them if they could possibly manage it. The factory he and Dru had stayed in last year had been a bit of a come down, but they had managed to make it nice and cosy, it had been perfectly liveable until the bloody Slayer had burnt it to the ground.

“Do we go straight in?”

“Well I sure as hell ain’t hangin’ round ‘ere all night.”

Spike led the way down the three steps which led to Skylar’s front door and gave the door a forceful kick. He wasn’t here to play nice. The door swung open to reveal a small but comfortable looking room. Skylar stood in the middle of the room a shocked look on his hairy face.

“Spike! I … um…. I thought we were meeting tomorrow.”

“Change of plan,” Spike sauntered into the room thinking how convenient it was that vampire’s didn’t need an invite into a demon’s dwelling. “I’ll take the books now.”

“Now? Oh, sure, Spike. No problem. You got the money?”

“Ah,” Spike smiled coldly. “The money. I’ve had second thoughts ‘bout the money.”

Skylar bristled slightly. “Those books are worth a lot more than five grand, Spike. They’re in perfect condition; a little foxing maybe, but other than that no wear and tear. A bargain.”

Spike closed the gap between them, even as Skylar took a step back for every one of Spike’s forward steps, he soon ran out of room and found himself against the wall. Spike caught hold of the front of Skylar’s t-shirt with one hand and slammed the fist of his other hand into the demon’s face.

Skylar howled with pain, wiggling in Spike’s grip to try and free himself. “No need for violence, Spike. Hey! Get out of there!” he noticed Johnny was poking about in the wardrobe.

“You got the books stashed in here?” Johnny asked pulling clothes and hangers out of the wardrobe.

“You don’t think I’d be stupid enough to have them here do you? I got them well hidden.”

“Where?” Johnny began opening the drawers and tossing the contents around the room, Skylar tried to keep one eye on him as he upended the bed but Spike was his more pressing concern, having lifted him up onto his toes causing the neck of his t-shirt to cut into his skin.

“Come on now, Spike,” Skylar wheedled. “We had a deal.”

“Yeah, about that,” Spike changed his grip from Skylar’s shirt to his neck. “I thought we could make a new deal. You give me the Books of Ascension an’ I won’t rip your heart from your chest. How’s that sound?”

Skylar spluttered and wheezed around the tight grip Spike had on his throat. “S…sounds good.”

Spike grinned, but his eyes were hard. “Knew you’d see it my way.” He released Skylar. “Now, the books. Where’re the books, mate?”

Staggering slightly and rubbing at his throat Skylar sent a particularly vicious and aggrieved look at Spike before going to the corner of the room and picking the carpet away from the wall. Then he lifted two floorboards and proceeded to remove five bulky objects wrapped up in a navy blanket.

“Here they are, all five of them.”

Spike crossed the room, picked up one of the blankets and unwrapped it. A large brown leather book sat in his hand, old and worn, but as Skylar had said, in good condition. There were strange faded symbols on the front cover but no words. Opening the book Spike flipped carefully through some of the pages. The pages were strong enough and the writing still fresh, but Spike couldn’t read it.

“Is this Latin?” Johnny was on one knee examining one of the other books.

“Some,” Skylar said, “They aren’t easy to read.”

Spike examined the words of the book he held, his fingers tracing the strange lettering. “What language is this?” He held the book out for Skylar to see.

Skylar shrugged. “Old English perhaps. There’s some of that in there too. The books weren’t all written at one time.”

Spike frowned down at the book. What good would they be to him if he couldn’t understand them? The Latin he might do alright with, after all he had learnt it as a boy, but the others he was at a loss to translate. Still, it was a modern world, there was probably a way to translate the books into something legible.

“What exactly does the Mayor want with these books?”

Skylar considered Spike for a moment before he spoke. He was trapped between an evil and an evil place, with Spike on the one side and the Mayor on the other. At one point he had considered trying to make a deal with the two Slayers, but he felt they wouldn’t pay a demon for anything and he needed money to get out of Sunnydale and get as far away as possible before the town quite literally went to hell. Spike clearly wasn’t going to pay him either, but if Spike had the books they were out of the Mayor’s reach and just might save lives, his own included. It wouldn’t last, but it would give him a chance to get the hell out of Dodge.

Skylar couldn’t read the books any more than Spike or Johnny could. He had however had bits and pieces translated to him over the time they had been in his possession and he understood enough to know that Mayor Wilkins wasn’t likely to let anything come between him and his Ascension , he had waited and worked too long and too hard for it by all accounts.

“The Ascension is the transformation of a human being into the embodiment of a pure demon and Old One. The Mayor isn’t exactly human at the moment what with his immortality and everything,” Skylar paused but when Spike showed no surprise at this announcement he realised that the vampire knew more than he had let on. “But he intends to fully ascend and become a pure demon. The Mayor built this town a long time ago and with the ascension he intends to take complete control of it.”

“Then why do you want to leave town?” Johnny asked closing the book he was holding with a snap. “If a pure demon is gonna run this town that makes it party time for the rest of us demons.”

Skylar snorted. “Ascension’s are dangerous things. Cause a lot of death and destruction. There’s no guarantee any of us will be standing once this thing is finished. I’m happy to take a risk or two, makes life interesting, but I don’t risk my life. I only got one and I wanna keep hold of it as long as possible. Besides, things don’t always turn out the way you expect them to.”

Spike looked at him sharply. “What does that mean?”

The little demon shrugged. “Just what it sounds like. Sometimes you can work and plan and scheme all you like and things still don’t work out the way you want them to.”

Silence met this statement and Skylar watched Johnny collect the books together and poke around the small apartment for a bag to carry them in while Spike wandered around the room into the tiny kitchenette. Skylar had no superior strength or speed, these two vampires pacing around his home made him nervous. He wished they would take the books and leave. He had some money put aside, not a lot, it wouldn’t get him far, but it was enough to get him out of Sunnydale. Spike had lied to him, broken into his own home and threatened him, Skylar he didn’t owe anything to Spike. Spike could just figure things out for himself. A small, secret smile tilted the corners of Skylar’s lips, by the time Spike realised what was happening it would be too late, he wondered if the vampire would remember his words when the time came.

XxXxX

Willow was practicing expanding the hallucination spell with Jessie when she heard the front door open and her parents return. She let out a sigh. “I spend my life wishing for them to stay home more, and as soon as they get here I wish they’d go away again.”

“Spike?”

“Spike,” she agreed. “He can’t stay the night if my parents are here.”

“Bummer.”

Her lips turned down at the corners. “Yeah. If they come in here will they be able to see you?”

“No,” Jessie shook his head. “It’s your special gift. It’s our special connection.”

Her heart ached for him. He was her friend, she hadn’t saved him and he was alone expect for her. How Willow wished Xander could see him too, it would be so great to have the three of them together again in one form or another.

The knock on her bedroom door startled her. Jumping to her feet Willow opened the door a curious look on her face. Her parents weren’t like other parents, they didn’t stop by her room to chat, if they came to her door there was a reason for it. She glanced at the candles which were still flickering around the bowl with Buffy’s hair and mashed up ingredients just waiting for Spike’s blood.

“Hallucination spell,” Jessie said. “You’ve been practicing all night, you can camouflage it all if you concentrate.”

Willow took a moment to centre herself. She took a deep breath and watched the air around the candles and bowl shimmer; it told her the screen had come down and the objects were hidden from prying eyes.

She opened the door and smiled. “Hi mom.”

“Can we talk, Willow?”

“Sure.” She stood aside to let her mother in. She had erased her father’s memory as well as her mother’s and Joyce’s and things had returned to normal in the Rosenberg house. “What’s up, mom?”

Sheila took a seat in the swivel chair clasping her hands in her lap, there was a glint in her eyes Willow was unfamiliar with and it stirred her curiosity even more. “Well, tonight at dinner we met Mr Thomas Daniels, he’s head of the psychology department at a university in Boston. He’s read your father’s papers and followed his career for many years and wants him to go and work at the university.”

Willow’s smile froze and her heart thumped hard against her rib cage. “Oh. I… um… this is my last year at school, I don’t want to disrupt it, I’ve got exams and stuff.”

“Of course, Willow. Your education is important and its to your credit that you place it so high on your list of priorities. Your father and I will move out to Boston and get everything settled, a home, my private practice, that sort of thing and you can join us after your final exams. How’s that?”

They wanted her! They really wanted her! She had been part of their decision making process. Her parents had actually taken her feelings into account. Willow was gobsmacked. A wild thrill ran through her. All this time she had believed they didn’t really care one way or the other where she was or what she was doing. For someone who could talk as much as she could, Willow was at a lost to find the right words to express how she felt.

And there was Spike, supposing he didn’t want to go to Boston? Willow decided she was willing to give up Boston for Spike but she would not give up Spike for Boston and her parents.

“I’m afraid we’re going to have to leave for Boston as soon as possible. We’re hoping to get a flight out before New Years Eve.”

“The sooner the better.” Willow cleared her throat as her mother frowned at her. “I… um, what I meant was, that you should be out there to check out the place and find a home and stuff. You know, get settled.”

Sheila smiled. “That’s exactly what we thought. I’m glad you’re being sensible about this whole thing, Willow.”

“It’s an amazing opportunity for dad. He deserves it, he’s always worked so hard.”

“Good,” Sheila stood up and went to the door. “We’ll talk more about it over breakfast, shall we? You’re father’s gone to bed with a head ache. I’m afraid he drank a little too much red wine tonight, it doesn’t agree with him you know, but I suppose he’s entitled to celebrate a little.”

Willow grinned. “I guess so.”

“Good night, Willow.”

“Good night, mom.”

Sheila shut the door quietly on her way out.

Willow glanced up at Jessie. “Good news for my dad, huh?”

“You aren’t planning on moving to Boston are you?” Jessie asked, a small frown creasing his forehead.

Willow shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe. I’ll talk to Spike about it.”

Jessie smiled, it was a hard, forced smile but Willow was too preoccupied to notice. “Shall we carry on with the spells? You know, until Spike gets here.”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” Willow turned her attention to the magic book. “I think I’m really starting to get the hang of this hallucination spell. Don’t you?”

“You’re doing great, Wills. Just great,” Jessie said with a smile. “Hey, I’ve got an idea, you should use my energy to help cast the spell this time.”

XxX

The blinds were closed in Mayor Wilkins office, the overhead light was bright, reflecting off the polished wooden surface of his desk and glinting off the decanter and glasses sitting on the little makeshift bar.

Mayor Wilkins sat behind his desk reading the newspaper. Deputy Mayor Allan Finch stood beside the window keeping a wary eye on Mr Trick, the tall, dark vampire standing before the desk. Mr Trick wore a red suit with an orange tie, a small golden hoop in each ear lobe and a black pencil thin moustache above full lips. His ebony skin was smooth, especially his forehead which also seemed to reflect the overhead light. Vampire made Allan Finch nervous.

The Mayor gave a chuckle and shook his head. “I just love the Family Circus! That P.J., he's getting to be quite a handful.”

Mr Trick rolled his eyes. “The nights fading fast, do you want to hear what I have to say or not?”

Mayor Wilkins smiled agreeably. “Always rushing. There’s time enough for everything. What is it?”

Mr Trick lent over the desk, his fingers splayed out over the smooth wood. “I know who has The Books of Ascension.”

The Mayor sat upright in this chair. “Now that is a bit of good news. Who?”

“Two bit wheeler dealer, goes by the name of Skylar. He’s not the sort of demon to be found in civilised society. A little bird told me he’s got the books and was looking to make a deal with Spike.”

“Spike?” The Mayor was genuinely puzzled. He knew who Spike was of course, he also knew there was a relationship of sorts between the vampire and the little red head who was friends with the Slayer; but Spike was never seen patrolling with the Slayer as Angel did sometimes. Spike was rarely seen at the library, Slayer headquarters. So far as the Mayor could ascertain Spike wasn’t even an ally of the Slayer in spite of the red head. Why would this demon want to make a deal with Spike? Spike would have no use for The Books of Ascension.

“I’m guessing, and this is only a guess mind you, that Skylar thought it would be easier to deal with a demon like Spike rather than Angel or either of the Slayers. Spike’s involved with the good guys in his own way, but he’s still a demon. Could act as a go between you might say.”

Allan coughed nervously. “So you think this demon is trying to interfere with The Ascension?”

“See no other reason why he’d wanna involve Spike in this,” Mr Trick said.

Mayor Wilkins clicked his tongue against his teeth. “Oh dear, this is not how I hoped this conversation would go.”

“There’s nothing to say Spike will partake in the deal. We’re talking about the Slayer of Slayers after all,” Mr Trick reminded them. “Not the kinda vampire who goes around helping Slayers. How about I find Skylar and make him an offer he can’t refuse?”

A sigh left Mayor Wilkins lips. “Sounds shady to me and I don’t like shady deals,” he said regretfully.

Mr Trick, used to his bosses little quirks by now, refrained from responding. “I’ll get right on it.”

“Oh dear,” Mayor Wilkins said as he watched Mr Trick leave the office. “I don’t like it when outside forces try to interfere. I mind my own business, why can’t other people mind theirs?”

Allan smiled thinly. “Why don’t you use the shredder?” he suggested handing the Mayor a pile of papers. “That always cheers you up.”

The Mayor brightened and took the top sheet off the pile. “Yes it does.”

“I have some work to catch up on. If you’ll excuse me, Mayor?”

“Oh yes, yes,” Mayor Wilkins waved him away, his eyes locked on the shredding machine and a smile on his face.

Allan Finch left the office and stood in the hallway for a moment to steady his nerves. He touched the lump on his forehead, it only hurt if he prodded it, although he’d had a raging headache when he woke up to find himself slumped on the floor and the magic book gone. He had expected some form of retribution over the loss of the book, especially when the security cameras and shown one of the Slayer’s had been his attacker. However, as the book had appeared to be a magic book and not one out of the collection of The Books of Ascension, Mayor Wilkins hadn’t been too put out about it being stolen.

There had been discussions of course as to why a Slayer had taken the trouble to break into City Hall for a book, and they had ultimately decided that it either belonged to the Watcher or Spike’s little red head who, it was understood, dabbled in light witchcraft. Either way, it hadn’t been much cause for concern, The Ascension was a much more pressing matter.

Picking up his pace Allan hurried down the corridor and out of the building. The Ascension was weighing on his mind. He hadn’t been fully aware of what he was getting into when he had first been elevated to the position of Deputy Mayor and brought in on the secret of the Hellmouth. Mayor Wilkins was such a happy man, always pleasant and polite and fully of family values, Allan had assumed The Ascension was a good thing, that it would help the people of Sunnydale. The more he learned however, the deeper he became immersed in the Mayor’s plans, he realised that was not the case.

If Sunnydale survived The Ascension it was highly likely that the human population wouldn’t. It would be demons alone left standing and that didn’t sit well with Allan’s conscious. He had won Most Helpful Child In The Class at junior high, he had been class president and head boy, he wanted to help people, to make Sunnydale a better, safer place to live. He didn’t want to see the town he had grown up in destroyed, he didn’t want to see its citizens murdered for one man’s greed.

The Mayor’s office should be in league with the Slayer, they should work together to protect the town and now Allan was going to do what he should have done months ago. He was going to do what he had set out to do; he was going to make a difference in Sunnydale.

XxX

The books were packed in the gym bag and Johnny stood up slinging the bag over his shoulder. He looked at Spike. “Are we done? All set to go?”

“All set,” Spike said, his fingers moving along the cold blade of a bread knife sitting on the kitchen counter. “Just gonna tie up a loose end.”

Skylar looked up just in time to see the bread knife came sailing through the air towards him. Before he had time to react the blade was buried in his chest. He made a sound between a cough and a gasp the taste of blood in his mouth and a warm painful sensation radiating from his chest.

Something had been hit, something vital, Skylar knew instantly. His knees buckled and his vision blacked for a moment. Sinking to the floor he watched Spike’s boots come towards him, serve and head towards the door.

So this was what it felt like to die. Skylar didn’t panic as he had thought he would when his end was near. There was no hope for him, no way for him to live through this and he knew it. Taking a shuddering breath he pulled the knife free from his chest, a gurgling sound vibrating in the back of his throat as blood bubbled over his lips.

“Spike.”

Spike paused and looked back over his shoulder at the crumpled form of Skylar, his life quickly leaving his body.

Skylar had enough strength left to glare hatefully at Spike, his voice didn’t tremble when he spoke but instead was filled with a certain satisfactory malice. “The Ascension… It’s not what you think….”

Spike froze. He had killed enough people and demons alike in his time to know how important last words were. He had been the one to kill Skylar and he knew that what Skylar chose to tell him now wasn’t meant to help him.

Skylar coughed and wheezed, falling face down against the carpet all strength gone from him. “You’ll lose everything.”

“What? What does tha…” Spike stopped abruptly, Skylar’s heart had beat its last.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

Glaring at Skylar’s still body Spike fumed inwardly. There was something going down he wasn’t aware of. Something that was going to affect him in a big way and he had killed the no good demon before getting all the answers. He was getting sloppy. It was a fledges mistake, he should have been wiser than that. He was wiser than that, but he hadn’t really though Skylar knew much more than what he had already told him.

Taking a deep unnecessary breath through his nose, Spike turned and gestured towards the door. “Might as well go. Nothin’ else gonna ‘appen ‘ere tonight.”

Johnny stepped out into the cool night air. He paused on the threshold of the doorway taking in the group of vampires standing in a semi circle, barring their way, clearly waiting for them. “You were saying?”

Spike’s jaw clenched with annoyance. “What do you want?” he made no effort to sound polite or accommodating.

“We’ve got no quarrel with you, Spike.” A tall, vampire stepped out of the shadows, his red suit tailor made and his white teeth gleaming against his dark skin. “All we want are The Books of Ascension. They belong to the Mayor and he’s quite eager to have them back.”

Mr Trick wasn’t exactly what Spike had been expecting. With a name like Trick, Spike had expected someone a lot flashier, overly confident. Mr Trick had a certain style and charisma about him but he wasn’t the wide boy of Spike’s imagination. Spike considered the situation; he had been in tougher spots than this before and come out the other side unscathed.

Spike fascinated Mr Trick. Spike was a legend in his own right and Mr Trick aspired towards the same one day. He had never killed a Slayer. He had never seen a Slayer until he had arrived on the Hellmouth, but Spike had killed two of them. Mr Trick could handle himself even if he did prefer to let others do his fighting for him, but he didn’t fancy taking on Spike. His boys outnumbered Spike and Johnny even if they couldn’t match Spike in skill; but something told him not to count Spike out. There was no guarantee Spike would knuckle under without a fight and just hand the books over.

It was almost as if Spike read Mr Trick’s mind. He grinned suddenly, his face shifting and changing as his weight shifted to the balls of his feet. “Let’s play.”

Mr Trick couldn’t say he was sorry Spike had opted to fight, even if he did lose a few of his boys, and Mr Trick expected to lose them, he would get the chance to see Spike in action. He had been concerned for a while that the Mayor would try to recruit Spike, Mr Trick didn’t really wish to share his dominion with Spike if he could help it; but Spike wasn’t really the recruiting type.

Having no idea what Johnny was like in a fight, Spike couldn’t say what his chances were of getting away with the books, but he was willing to try. They had to be important. They had to hold some dark secret the Mayor didn’t want getting out that went above and beyond what they already knew about The Ascension. If Willow had been willing to blow Sunnydale then Spike would have let the books go, hell, he wouldn’t have gone after them in the first place, let the Slayer and the Poof worry about it, but Willow had elected to stay with her friends and love’s bitch that he was, Spike would be staying too.

The vampires closed in on them and Johnny hoisted the gym bag slightly over his shoulder to give him more flexibility. He could fight, he could handle himself if need be, but Johnny had the sinking feeling he’d end up getting a battering before he walked away from this fight. Still, the demon in him roared to the surface as his face shifted to its natural demonic state; he was thirsting for some violence.

A vampire came at Spike fists failing, but Spike side stepped, causing the vampire to wheel round and come back swinging. There was a sharp pain in Spike’s knuckles as that same vampire took a fist in this mouth, his head snapping back.

Right, left, right, left again, Johnny never slowed his momentum. He was shrewd enough to use the bag of books as a weapon rather than let it hinder him, and he hoisted the bag to shoulder level, swinging it round and bringing it down full force into the face of the vampire he was fighting. The vampire crumpled to his knees, the scent of blood from his broken nose heavy in the air.

Jab, cross, sidekick; Spike took two on at once. Skin split beneath knuckles, both his own and that of the vampire’s he fought against, but Spike ignored it easily, his natural delight in violence zinging through him.

Mr Trick watched Spike avidly. He moved seamlessly, he was not only used to a physical fight but he enjoyed it, revelled in it even. There was no fear in Spike, he took the blows that fell on him and dished out his own with sharp, clear punches and direct kicks. Mr Trick couldn’t claim to dislike violence, he was a demon and violence was in his nature; but he felt he would much prefer to watch Spike fight than be up against him. There was something underneath the surface with Spike, something darker than the average demon, something that made the fine hairs on the back of Mr Trick’s neck stand on end.

Something large and heavy came down across his shoulders and Spike fell to his knees with a grunt. Furious, he shifted his weight to the right and swept out his left leg catching the vampire in the ankles and sending him tumbling to the ground, tree branch and all. There was no hesitation, Spike took up the tree branch and staked the vampire where he lay.

There was a split seconds horror as the vampire exploded into dust and the ones left realised that death was in fact on the cards for them tonight.

One dusted vampire didn’t really even out the playing field, but seeing a vampire turn to dust could have a deep effect on another vampire. It made them question their own immortality. They realised they wouldn’t live forever.

Mr Trick saw it, he saw them waver, unsure now just how far they wanted to go for Mayor Wilkins and himself. These were his boys, he had handpicked them and trained them himself, but loyalty in a demon was a tricky business, there was no guarantee it would last. He had seen vampire’s betray their own Sire’s if need be.

He couldn’t face the Mayor and tell him that his boys had lost when they outnumbered Spike two to one. He couldn’t run the risk of losing what he had built so far, he had plans of his own following The Ascension and he needed back up to do it. Violence was not the only way to get what he wanted, even if it was a most satisfying way.

He moved to the fringes of the fight and called it off. Pleased when his boys fell back and once again formed a semi circle around Spike and Johnny, cutting off their escape.

“The Mayor wants those books, they’re important to him. If you have something precious of his, he may have to take something precious of yours.”

Spike growled, his eyes flaring. He advanced on Mr Trick, heedless of the other vampires. Mr Trick didn’t move, but Spike saw the uncertainty flash in his eyes for moment. “You go anywhere near my girl an’ I’ll make sure you’re prayin’ for a death that’ll never come.”

“We want the books, Spike, not the girl. Hand them over and go home to her. Hum?”

Spike had taken many risks over the years, it was something Angelus had taught him. Risks made things that little bit more exciting. Some risks had paid off, other’s hadn’t. He and Dru had taken a risk in Prague and she had nearly died. Spike was not willing to run that gauntlet with Willow.

Johnny didn’t need Spike to say anything. He knew the way it worked. He dropped the bag of books at his feet, they made a dull sort of sound as they hit the concrete.

There was a tense silence as Mr Trick made a small gesture and a vampire broke rank to pick up the bag. He handed the bag to Mr Trick who took a moment to be sure he had what he came for. Once he was satisfied he turned away leaving Spike and Johnny behind.

“What do you think will happen now?” Johnny ventured to ask when it became clear Spike was too busy seething to speak.

“Nothin’,” Spike said. “At least, not until The Ascension. They’ve got what they came for. If they intended to kill us they’d ‘ave done it.”

“Do you think the books tell him how to go about it? You know, any rituals and stuff he has to do? Do you think that’s why he wanted them so badly?”

“Could be part of it,” Spike agreed. Johnny was a refreshing change to the minions he and Dru had surrounded themselves with when they had returned last year. Johnny had a brain, he had some common sense and he actually used it.

“You think there’s more to it too, huh?”

Spike nodded. “There’s somethin’ we’re missin’. Somthin’ we ain’t seein’.”

“It won’t really matter to us, will it? I mean, we’re demons. The Ascension sounds like a good thing for us. It’s the humans that’ll suff…” he trailed off, aware of the reason why Spike had taken an interest in The Ascension in the first place. “You could always just leave.”

“Might at that,” Spike said. It was time to have a very serious talk with his girl and convince her getting out of Sunnydale was best all round. If the town was still standing after The Ascension they could come back. Although he rather hoped the Slayer wouldn’t be standing. The bitch got right on his last nerve. What the hell did Angel see in her?

“I’m going to go and get something to eat. Need something for my hand,” Johnny flexed his bruised and bloodied fingers. “And my ribs. Some bastard broke ‘em I think. Are you coming?”

Spike smiled and shook his head. “Got my own tasty treat waitin’ on me.”

“Some vamps get all the luck.”

 

XxX

Faith had been hoping to get her Slayer on tonight and things were going her way. Patrolling through the cemetery with Buffy they had stumbled across a nest of vampire’s in one of the crypts and were now busily engaged in Slayer duties.

Buffy ducked, her arms on guard. A jab and an uppercut caused the vampire to stagger back into the wall. She was pretty, or at least she had been as a human, with deep set green eyes and a riotous mass of red curls. Buffy didn’t like her. She gave Buffy the creeps. She reminded Buffy of Willow. Willow brought to mind Spike. Spike made her think of Xander’s accusations. Xander’s accusations set her on a worry spiral. This woman made Buffy wonder if she would find herself facing off against her vamped best friend if Spike got his fangs on Willow.

Her circular thoughts gave Buffy the added strength she needed to despatch this woman as quickly as possible. Buffy didn’t want to look at her.

The cotton tore in Faith’s fingers as she spun the vampire she was sparring with around in a circle, before she smashed him face first into the tomb in the centre of the crypt. Blood spattered across the cracked and greying concrete surface and the vampire groaned with pain, sinking to his knees. Faith struck his back with a stake, piercing his heart and watching with satisfaction as he turned to dust; floating in mid air for a moment before settling amongst the dirt.

Suddenly Faith was flying, up over the tomb she went and landed on the floor with a groan. The vampire who had thrown her leapt up onto the tomb and stared down at her with yellow eyes and a grin.

“You wanna party?” Faith pushed herself to her feet. “Let’s dance.”

For a moment Buffy thought her cheekbone had cracked, the force of the blow to her face was so strong. She fell backwards over the uneven floor, catching and steadying herself before she fell on her behind. Any more punches like that and she was going to lose some teeth!

She blocked the next swing and sent her foot into the vampire’s ribs. He doubled over for a moment and Buffy brought her knee up feeling his nose smoosh against her knee. She made a face and as he made to get up she drove her stake home.

Faith finished off the last vampire and tossed her hair back from her face. “Looks like the party’s over. And just when it was getting’ good.”

Buffy pouted. “I do hate a pooped party.”

Faith grinned. “We did good.”

“Vampire-less crypt, just the way I like it,” Buffy put the stake away and brushed off her dusty hands. “I like a demon who cleans up after itself but I wish they wouldn’t stick to me so much.”

“Know what you mean,” Faith headed for the door with Buffy behind her. “I’ll spend the night washing vamps outta my hair.”

“I had to invest in a new conditioner,” Buffy said. “Last year I hasdthis one that was so…” a movement in the shadows to her left caused Buffy to turn. Faith had sensed it too and she spun round stake at the ready. “Faith! Wait!”

Faith recognised the Deputy Mayor a split second too late. The stake met his heart before she could reign herself in and she watched horrified as Allan Finch jerked like a fish on a line. His eyes went wide and a bubble of blood burst at his lips as he fell back into the side of the crypt. He blinked, staring up at the stunned faces of the two Slayers. He had come to them for help, to offer his assistance , and he had met his death for his trouble.

The blonde was talking to him, trying to sooth him but her voice was too fraught with fright and despair to do much good. The brunette just stood there staring at him a shocked, dazed look in her eyes.

Allan’s eyes fluttered, his last thought was that he probably shouldn’t have tried to approach two Vampire Slayer’s in a cemetery.

“Oh my God!” Buffy was shaking from the inside out.

“It was an accident,” Faith forced the words from her tight throat.

Buffy nodded, unable to take her eyes from Allan’s pale face even though she had no desire to look at him. “We…” she paused to try and steady her voice. “We have to tell Giles.”

Faith flinched. “Giles?”

Getting to her feet Buffy wiped the back of her hand across her mouth in a gesture of agitation. “Giles.” She said again. “He’ll know what to do. I mean… we…. You….. a man is dead.”

“I can see that,” Faith snapped, her insides turning cold at the prospect of facing Giles with this news. It had to be her. She had to be the one to kill the human. It couldn’t have been perfect princess Buffy.

Giles would be disappointed. Disgusted. He would look at her and know that his lovely little Buffy would never do anything so terrible. Faith wasn’t sure she could handle it. Would Giles call the police? The Watcher’s Council? What sort of punishment could she expect for killing a man? Buffy would probably get off all scot free. Poor Buffy who’d had to helplessly watch a man die at the hands of her fellow Slayer.

“Giles,” Buffy said firmly. She felt better at the mere thought of Giles. Giles always knew what to do. She backed away from Allan’s lifeless body, she didn’t feel she could actually turn her back on him. “I wonder why he was here?”

Faith shrugged. “Guess we’ll never know now.”

Buffy swallowed and blinked back tears. She didn’t answer but she shot Faith an aggravated look. She was acting like it was no biggie; like Slayers just went around killing people all the time. It had been an accident, a terrible, tragic accident, but it had happened. They needed someone older and wiser to tell them what to do and help ease the burden of guilt.

Closing the gates of the cemetery behind them Faith said, “I need to make one stop off before we hit the library.”

XxX

Willow’s house was in darkness when Spike arrived. The only light came from her bedroom as Spike knew it would. She would have waited up to see him regardless of whether he was obtaining information.

He paused outside the French doors to listen, just in case her parents were in the room with her, but he heard only one heartbeat.

Pulling open the doors Spike slid into the room, a startled look crossing his face. “Love, you wanna tell me why half your room looks like a jungle?”

Willow was sitting cross legged on the bed, wearing an oversized t-shirt, her back to him. She jumped at the sound of his voice but the illusion never wavered. She smiled, her eyes lighting up at the sight of him. “Neat huh?”

“Pretty impressive, pet.” Spike looked around him at the dense jungle plant life. There was even a parrot in the branches of the tree.

“I’ve been working on it all night. I can make it anything I want, watch.”

Spike watched as the jungle disappeared, parrot and all. Snow capped mountains took its place, stretching as far as the eye could see. Large icicles hung from the branches of a tree just above his head and Spike had to stop himself from reaching out to touch them. They simply weren’t there.

“Clever little witch is what you are,” he said proudly.

Willow flushed, her smile deepening. “I’ve been waiting for you to get here.” She hopped up off the bed letting the mirage disappear, her eyes widened as she took in Spike’s battered appearance. “What happened ?” he touched his face with light, gentle fingers.

“Got in a fight,” Spike said a frown marring his face as he thought how he had been bested. “Nothin’ a little mouthful of my girl won’t cure. Then I’ll tell you everythin’.”

“Of course you can have my blood, Spike. But, can I have yours first? I’m not sure the spell will work if we mix our blood in your system.” Willow knelt on the floor where the candles still burned around the bowl holding Buffy’s hair and held out her hand out to him.

Spike took her hand, kissing her fingers gently as he knelt beside her. “What’ve we got ‘ere ‘en, love?”

“Just a little spell. I’m going to tell Buffy the truth and I’m not sure exactly how she’s going to react.” Willow bit her bottom lip her brow furrowing. “So, I found a neat little spell to protect you.”

“Doesn’t that poultice you gave me do that?”

“Not from an angry Slayer.”

“What’ve you got in mind ‘en?” He smoothed her hair from her face, curling his hand around the back of her neck and drawing her to him. Spike kissed her softly, savouring the warmth of her lips and the little sigh that escaped her and whispered against his own lips. “Love you, you know.”

Willow smiled against his lips, her arms wrapping around his neck. She’d had an awful sinking feeling that Spike wouldn’t say it. “I do now.”

“Took me by surprise earlier is all, weren’t expectin’ it.” He kissed her forehead. “There was me, all busy tryin’ to work out what to say to you an’ you just come out with it. Wanted it to be just right,” he paused and chuckled softly. “All these years I never realised it wasn’t the settin’ or the flowery speeches that make it just right, it’s the feelin’ you get when you ‘ear it from the right person.”

She pulled back slightly, a curious look on her face. “There’s a tiny bit of the romantic in you, Spike.”

If he could have blushed, Spike was sure he would have. If she only knew what type of soppy, sentimental prat he could be. “Lots you don’t know ‘bout me yet.” He kissed her again, a long, deep kiss that stole the breath from her lungs and sent her heard spinning. “Now, tell me about this spell you’re cookin’ up.”

“Hum?” she gazed dreamily at him for a moment or two. “Oh, yes, the spell.” Willow was all business as she sat back on her heels and took his hands in hers, more to keep them where she could see them than for any other reason. lf they started wandering she’d never keep her focus. “I found this spell in Amy’s book. A sort of a cripple your enemy type of spell.”

“I’m likin’ it so far,” Spike grinned.

Willow rolled her eyes. “Well, essentially, it does a sort of binding mirror effect thing. Once I cast it, if for example Buffy hits you in the face, well you won’t feel it but she will. Everything she tries to do to you she’ll experience instead, only not just the way you would, she’ll have extreme crippling pain with it.”

Spike couldn’t deny he liked the sound of it. In fact, he was rather looking forward to trying it out and seeing the Slayer on her knees in agony. But the soul twitched inside him. The Slayer, as much as he detested her on the basis of her being a Slayer, was still Willow’s best friend. Surely there was a spell Willow could cast that wouldn’t cause untold pain to her best friend, but if there was Willow didn’t appear to be looking for an alternative. It made Spike a little uncomfortable. Willow loved her friends and wouldn’t want to see them hurt; but she was now willing to be the one to cause the pain. He pushed the irritating thoughts away, she was doing this for him, he could hardly criticize her for that.

Producing a little knife from her box of magic supplies, Willow made a small cut across Spike’s palm and held his hand over the bowl. Spike watched as the blood mingled with the ingredients and what he could only assume by the colour and scent, was the Slayer’s hair. The ingredients began to melt, turning into a flickering black flame. A small spiral of dark grey smoke rose from the bowl and the flames of the candles wavered and changes from orange to black. His eyes went to Willow, she knelt beside him calmly, her eyes flickering from green to black, her magic snapping around them so much stronger than anything Spike had felt from her before, except for that time she had connected with the Hellmouth.

The magic crept over his skin like a tickle and Spike shifted slightly. He licked his lips, his face changing to is demonic form as he recognised the darkness in her and his body responded to it willingly.

Willow felt the tightening of Spike’s fingers on hers and finally, when the spell was complete, she turned to look at him. A hot blast of arousal arrowed through her; the face of the demon did nothing to repulse her, but somehow added to Spike mystery and attraction. He was dark and he was dangerous in ways she couldn’t even imagine and Willow wanted it all; she wanted to taste it.

There was so much magic and tension and sexual awareness charging between them that Spike had to have her. He wanted her. He wanted to be part of her.

It was Willow who moved first. Her slender fingers grasped the front of his duster as she hauled herself into his lap and kissed him. Spike was taken by surprise at the sudden movement, but he always had loved surprises and this evening was proving no exception to the rule.

Magic and sunshine, strawberries and darkness; the taste of her swept his mouth as her tongue tangled with his. Spike revelled in it.

She pressed down against the seam of his jeans feeling the throb of his cock. Unsnapping his jeans Willow freed his cock wrapping her hand around him. Spike groaned, the sensation vibrating along her flesh as his lips caressed her throat.

Sweeping the t-shirt up her body and over her head Spike caught a nipple between his teeth, tugging lightly, probing with the tip of his tongue. Willow whimpered and squirmed, her hand stroking him, feeling him fill and swell even more in her palm.

Curling his fingers around the elastic of her panties Spike wrenched the material apart, dropping his hand between her legs, slipping his fingers into her wrenching a moan from her throat. His thumb stroked her clit, matching the rhythm she set up against him.

It was nowhere near enough the need between them was an almost palpable thing.

“I want you.” His eyes met hers. “I want to be inside you.”

“Yes,” she breathed, letting her knees fall fully open on either side of him, her eyes half-closed, her whole body flushed with a delicious heat. Holding his cock steady, Willow lifted, shifted and sank down on him.

Spike groaned, burying his face in the softness of her neck where her scent was most potent.

Willow hissed through her teeth, a quiet sound tinged with discomfort.

Yellow eyes lifted to meet hers, searching for any sign of pain or distress. He was about to ask if she wanted him to take over when her hips moved; a small twist which made her gasp and eased the pressure inside her. It was all Willow needed to feel comfortable and desire and naked longing drove her hips down onto him with a sound of pleasure.

Spike moaned, moving under her, thrusting up into her, sliding through her wet heat like melted butter. He lost himself in the heat of her body and the stinging sensation of her nails digging into the back of his neck.

Breathing hard Willow revelled in the feeling of Spike inside her, stretching her, filling her, being one with her. Grasping his shoulders tightly she used him for leverage as she rocked faster, her body demanding more and feeling him respond to her. Perspiration beaded her forehead and back, Spike’s hands slipping along her damn skin. He guided her movements as she began to tremble, losing her rhythm as her pleasure built, drawing her down as he thrust up, burying himself deeper inside her.

Tracing her fingers over his face Willow sank both hands into the soft curls of his hair and pulled him into her neck, offering him what he wanted, what he needed, what he craved. She felt more than heard the growl he let loose, it was almost as though it vibrated through her system and her body responded with a rush of warm wetness between her legs.

Spike’s muscles corded, his body shaking with the effort it took not to explode. Getting his knees beneath him, he forced the side of his hand between her lips to stifle the inevitable noise she would make. His hips still moving, still driving into her, he clamped the other hand at the back of her neck to keep her as still as possible and bit down hard on her throat.

As soon as her blood touched his tongue Willow felt Spike swell and surge inside her a dam bursting in hot, rhythmic waves. She cried out, her eyes flying open and her teeth sinking into his hand. The rush of her own climax spread through her pelvis into her thighs and erupt from between her legs soaking Spike’s thighs and from every pore of her body in a wave of magic that caused the lights to flicker, the windows to rattle in their frames and the entire room to shake.

“Bloody hell, love!” Spike’s fingers flexed over her skin, staring around the room. The swivel chair had rolled across the room, the books had toppled from the shelves, the wardrobe doors had swung open and the stationary pot had tipped over sending pens and pencils everywhere.

She was panting, her eyes closed, still absorbing the feeling of Spike inside her.

He soothed her gently, holding her against her his shoulder feeling the erratic beat of her heart against his chest. It was a wonder, the shuddering of her heart, the quaking of her limbs, it was something he barely remembered the feeling and it was something he would never experience again, but he could feel it again through Willow; there was so much he could feel again through Willow.

There was movement out in the corridor which drew his attention, and a woman’s voice could be heard calling Willow’s name.

Willow blinked and stared at her door. “Don’t come in! I’m not dressed.” She eased herself out of Spike’s lap scooping up her t-shirt and tugging it over her head. She made her slow, shaky way to the door. “What is it mom?”

Spike started when she opened the door, he still had his jeans open. Her mother however, didn’t appear to see him, and Spike noticed a sudden shimmering just in front of him and the familiar sensation of Willow’s magic tingled along his skin. Spike knew she had cast the hallucination spell.

“You’re father’s dead to the world in there so he’s completely oblivious, but I’m sure I felt an earthquake.”

“Earthquake?” Willow had felt the room shake as Spike had, but she had thought it had been confined to her bedroom. Had she really shaken the whole house?

Sheila looked confused. “Didn’t you feel it?”

Willow shook her head. “Maybe you drunk more than you thought, mom?”

Sheila yawned and rubbed a hand across her forehead. “I must have done,” she frowned as she turned away from her daughter. “I really thought I felt something.”

Willow said nothing, she let her mother wander back to her bedroom, waiting until the door closed behind her. Letting out a breath she shut the door an leant against it.

Spike grinned up at her. “So, did the earth move for you too?”

She laughed, pushing her hair from her face. “I don’t know how that happened, Spike.”

He shrugged, getting to his feet. “I guess you were a bit distracted, pet, some magic got away from you is all. Nothin’ to worry ‘bout.”

“You’ll stay tonight, won’t you?” she asked shyly.

“Course love, if you want me to,” he smiled, pleased at the offer. He wasn’t sure whether to expect an invite with her parents back in town. “But what about your parents?”

Clearing up the pens and pencils scattered over her desk she said, “They won’t see you, not if I don’t want them to.”

“You’re gettin’ much stronger, love, I told you all you needed to do was practice, didn’t I?”

“Yes you did,” she smiled, covering a yawn with her hand. “Sleep now, Spike?”

“Sure, pet.” He figured it wouldn’t hurt to wait until tomorrow to tell her about The Books of Ascension. Undressing he climbed into bed and watched Willow clear away the candles and now empty bowl. “Can’t you leave that until the mornin’?”

“It’ll only take a minute.”

“You’re not goin’ to keep that t-shirt on, are you?” he grinned wickedly at her, his tongue swiping along his lower lip.

Willow shivered, her breath catching in her throat and her nipples hardening. She couldn’t find her voice but shook her head slowly, her cheeks staining red.

“That’s my girl,” he murmured approvingly. He waited until she reached the foot of the bed before he spoke again, his voice quiet and urging. “Take it off now, love.”

“…Spike…” it was a cross between a plea and a moan, the muscles between her legs clenching as she pulled the t-shirt off and let it drop to the floor.

His nostrils flared, the scent of her arousal tinging the air. Sitting up he prowled naked to the edge of the bed, reaching for her, his fingers curling around her wrist. Her breath caught in her throat, her eyes closed and her heart picked up its steady pace as Spike’s free hand spanned her waist, drawing her closer until his lips touched the valley between her breasts and her fingers curled through her hair.

The knock on her window sounded distant to Willow’s ears, she was so wrapped up in Spike and his fingers sliding over her skin, tracing her hipbone.

“Willow!” the urgent whisper of Faith was hard to ignore.

Taking a steadying breath Willow pulled the t-shirt back on with an impatient tug and stomped to the window. Opening the sliding door she stepped outside surprised to see the two Slayer’s together looking so frightened and harassed. Instinctively she knew something bad had happened. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Oh God, Wills, we’re in trouble,” Buffy moaned, glad to see her friend even though she was loath to involve Willow in something like murder, for that was what had taken place tonight, a murder. As accidental as it was; a man was still dead.

“What sort of trouble?” Willow looked from one to the other. “Faith?”

Faith swallowed and haltingly told the story of Allan Finch’s death. “I didn’t mean it. It was an accident. He came out of nowhere. I thought he was a vampire.”

“It’s okay,” Willow put a comforting hand on Faith’s arm. “Of course you didn’t mean to do it.”

“But it’s happened,” Buffy rubbed nervously at her throat. “God knows what Giles is going to say about it all, and there’s the Watcher’s Council to think about. Its all such a mess. I don’t know how I’m going to live with this, I really don’t. A man is dead.”

Instead of feeling sympathy towards her friend, Willow found herself feeling annoyed. She huffed. “I’m sure you’ll cope. After all, you managed to live perfectly well with Miss Calendar’s murder.”

Buffy was stunned speechless, a hot wave of shame washing over her. This hadn’t been the reaction she had expected when she realised Faith was headed for Willow’s.

“I have no intention of standing here half the night listening to your hypocrisy, Buffy. I bet you’ve been going on and on about it all the way over here making Faith feel even worse than she already does. It’s one rule for Angel and another for everyone else.”

“No… I mean, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad,” she looked appealingly at Faith. “I really didn’t. But I have to talk about it. He’s dead. I don’t know what to do. I’m scared, Wills.” Buffy’s voice cracked. “I’m really scared and I feel like I’m going to drown in the guilt but I can’t see what I can do to stop it and I didn’t even do it. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling,” she touched Faith’s arm gently. “I’m just trying to figure out a way to get through this and Giles is the only option we have.”

Faith looked at Willow. “Actaully, I was thinking you might be able to help out here. You know, with your little trick.”

Willow nodded. “I figured that’s why you came here.”

“Trick?” Buffy looked from one to the other. “What do you mean?”

“Both of you, or just her?”

“Just her,” Faith said taking a deep breath. “I don’t want you screwin’ with me. If I can’t deal then I’ll ask you to work the mojo again.”

Willow nodded, “If you’re sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’ll deal. Five by five.”

“Willow,” Buffy spoke sharply. “What’s she talking about?”

“It’ll be okay, Buff,” Willow assured her with a smile. “Trust me.”

Before Buffy could formulate a response Willow’s eyes clashed with hers and the memory of Allan Finch’s death was wiped from Buffy’s mind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

Faith watched fascinated as Buffy’s eyes slid out of focus. Buffy never moved, she just stood there like a statue as Willow invaded her mind and wiped her memory. She had never seen Willow work her magic before, she was a little disappointed that there was nothing to see, there was no sign of magic at work at all.

Spell cast, Willow broke the connection with Buffy. “Hey, Spacy Slayer,” she smiled and waved a hand in front of Buffy’s face.

“Sorry,” Buffy blinked and shook her head. “I guess I did just space out there for a second. What were you saying?”

Faith grinned, all trace of worry and guilt was gone from Buffy, she was just as she had always been.

A sudden frown creased Buffy’s face and she turned slightly, peering into the darkness, her shoulders tensing and her hand reaching for her stake. “Don’t you feel it?” she murmured to Faith. “Aren’t your Slayer Senses going off?”

Faith glanced at Willow, she too felt the presence of a vampire but had put it down to Spike. She figured he was probably safely behind the curtains and was the reason Willow had not invited them in. Faith was unsure how to respond, luckily and quite surprisingly, Willow saved her the necessity of answering.

“Oh that’ll be Spike you’re sensing.”

Buffy blinked. “Spike?”

Willow nodded and jerked her thumb over her shoulder. “He’s in there.”

“In there?” Buffy echoed confused.

“We’re together now.”

“Together?” Buffy looked stunned.

Willow nodded. “I love him, Buff.”

“Love him?” Buffy’s eyes went wide and her jaw dropped open.

“Don’t freak out,” Willow held out a hand as though to ward Buffy off. “I’m not having this conversation with you with Spike around. We’ll talk about it tomorrow, okay? I’ll come round, we’ll have a girly day, catch up, what do you say?”

“Um, yeah, I guess,” Buffy replied, still stunned beyond words. “Xander was right?”

“Yeah,” Faith nodded, “Who’d have thought? But I guess he’d have to be right about something eventually.”

In spite of her shock, Buffy’s lips twitched. When she had volunteered to talk to Willow about Spike the last thing Buffy had expected was for Xander to be right. She had resigned herself to accept that Willow would perhaps admit to liking Spike, they had spent a lot of time together, or even to admit to being drawn to him, which she figured would make sense with the sharing of her soul, but love had been the last thing on her mind.

An awkward silence descended, Buffy’s eyes lifting over Willow’s shoulder to stare at the closed curtains. She couldn’t help feeling uncomfortable and worried knowing Spike was behind them, but she also knew now wasn’t the time to talk about it, not when he was in ear shot.

“Cordelia’s back today,” Buffy spoke abruptly, her voice a little too loud and strained.

“I’m sure we’ll hear all about her holiday in detail,” Willow said, willing to meet Buffy half way.

“Bet Harris doesn’t cut her loose,” Faith predicted. “Once she gets here he’ll be all over her like a rash.”

Buffy frowned. “Why would Xander end things with Cordeila? He’s dating the most popular girl in school, kinda a fantasy come true for him.”

“Oh I don’t know,” Willow mused. “Dating you would be the fantasy come true I think.”

Buffy blushed prettily and shook her head. “That was never going to happen.” She gave Willow a long meaningful look. “I’d never do that.”

Willow smiled. “I know that, Buff.”

“You mean you and Xander never got down and dirty?” Faith asked, her eyebrows lifting suggestively and she gave Buffy a mock punch to the side. “Not even once?”

“Not even a little bit,” Buffy said with feeling.

Willow pursed her lips. “What about the time you begged him to undress you?”

“You did what?” Faith spluttered, hardly able to believe her ears.

Buffy groaned and closed her eyes in distress. “Wills!”

Willow laughed and folded her arms across her chest. “Well, technically you did do it.”

“Technically,” Buffy admitted grudgingly. “But I’m not sure it counts, what with being under a spell at the time.”

Faith snorted. “You’d have to be to beg him to undress you. Anyway, it looks like you’re out and Red’s in, B.” Faith grinned at Buffy’s confused expression. “You don’t know about his proposition to Willow?”

Buffy’s eyes widened again. “No! What’s all this?”

“He was around here on Christmas Day tryin’ to get into Willow’s pants. I had to send him packing.”

“He was!” Buffy’s face flushed with the excitement of gossip. “Is that why you threw him out?”

“Partly. He said some stuff he shouldn’t have.”

“Oh he didn’t mean that,” Willow was quick to jump to her friends defence. “Xander just doesn’t think before he speaks half the time.”

“Most of the time,” Buffy corrected with a giggle. “So? Come on, Wills, tell me everything.”

“I will. I’ll tell you tomorrow,” Willow promised. “It’s so late to get into Xander stories.” As if to illustrate her point she suddenly yawned widely. “Sorry. Just a bit tired.”

Buffy’s lips pursed, disappointment clearly showing on her face. “Oh alright, I’ll wait until tomorrow. But then I want to hear everything,” she pointed a finger at her friend for emphasis.

“Guess we’ll get going then. Say good night to Spike for us,” Faith winked at Willow, laughing when the other girl turned as red as her hair.

Buffy’s discomfort returned; it went against every natural instinct in her body to walk away and leave her best friend with the evil undead; but she also knew she had to do it. There was nothing further she could do tonight; she would have to wait until tomorrow to dissuade her friend from pursuing this so- called relationship with Spike. She would have all night to think things through and figure out what to say, Buffy was confident she could make Willow see sense.

“Night, Wills.”

“Night, Buffy.”

It took all the strength Buffy had to force herself to walk away with Faith, a deep sense of foreboding trickling down her spine like ice water.

XxX

Satisfied things had gone as well as they could have, Willow went back into her room and locked the windows. Spike was sitting up against the headboard, one knee bent, flicking through Silas Marner, it was on the reading list for her English class. Her mouth went dry as she stared at him, wondering what she could have done to have been so lucky as to have someone like Spike in her life.

He closed the book and set it back on the nightstand. “Never mentioned I had a rival, pet.”

Willow rolled her eyes at the teasing tone and crossed to the bed. “I think you could probably take Xander.”

“No doubt,” he grinned at her, settling more comfortably on his back. “Slayer took it pretty well,” he said evenly. Spike was under no illusions that Buffy would remain that way, once she got over the shock and got Willow all to herself she’d start trying to turn Willow from him; a knot of fear tightened Spike’s chest for a moment.

“That won’t last,” Willow predicted, automatically peeling her t-shirt off and climbing into bed beside him. “I’ll hear all about it tomorrow. She’ll have all night to come up with a you-should-stay-away-from-Spike speech. It’ll be long and boring and pointless, but she’ll give it anyway.” Willow huffed, “It’s like she doesn’t think I’m capable of making my own decisions. You’d think she’d be pleased for me.”

 

“Where you pleased for her?” he asked curiously. “You know, Slayer fallin’ for vampire, kinda unconventional.”

Willow considered for a moment. “Yes and no,” she admitted. “I mean, I was pleased she’d found someone she liked and cared about, but at the same time Angel was all cryptic guy at first. He’d just turn up out of nowhere with messages of doom and then disappear until the next time. But, the more he was around the more you could see he felt something for her even if he didn’t want to admit it. It was kinda fun, you know, talking about him, trying to figure him out, imagining what Angel smoochies would be like. Which are great, by all accounts,” she added.

“Nothin’ to write home about,” Spike replied absently, then silently cursed himself for not thinking before he spoke, he had no idea what her reaction would be to the idea of him with another man.

Willow frowned at him. “You’d know?”

“I’d know. Well, sort of. Angelus.”

Curious, Willow twisted onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow. “I’m not sure I’m really following. I mean, you and Angelus?”

Spike nodded. “Vampire’s aren’t like humans, love. We ‘ave a different set of morals altogether. A family unit isn’t usual with vampires, but when you see ‘em they’re strong an’ very deeply intertwined. Sex with vampire’s isn’t exactly the same as with humans; its all about power an’ control an’ dominance. It can be a form of punishment as well as pleasure.” Reaching out he stroked a finger along her cheek. “It’s not like it is with us, where there’s real feelin’ there. Oh there’s feeling’s there, usually attraction an’ desire an’ with Dru, there was love too; but mostly its about want. Vampire’s want somethin’, they take it; even each other.”

She was silent for a while, her eyes distant and Spike watched her anxiously. Opening up to her was difficult, as a human she looked at things differently to him and Spike could never be sure what he would say wasn’t going to be something that would push her away.

“Is it very different with me?” she asked after a while.

“Quite different,” Spike assured her. “The way I love you is different. You’re human, pet, everythin’ with you is goin’ to be different an’ that’s not a bad thing.”

She shook her head once and sat up, her fingers curling through his. “Spike,” her face coloured but she ploughed on anyway. “If there’s something you need…. I mean, like you said, it’s different with me because I’m human, but well, as a vampire if… if you need something….you know, from me, you can um, you can tell me. I want you to be happy and I want you to be you.”

“Darlin’,” he murmured, pulling her into his arms and settling her beneath his chin. “Everything’s all new to you just now. We ‘aven’t even begun to scratch the surface yet. It’ll surprise you,” he kissed the top of her head, “just what you can take an’ what you’ll enjoy. Trust me. Spike’ll take good care of ya.”

A shiver worked its way through her body. Could things get any more intense between them? The prospect was dizzying. “I trust you, Spike.”

They were silent for a while, his fingers trailing up and down her arm while hers roved over his chest, little pads of warmth against his bare skin. Presently Willow spoke again. “You never told me how you got your bruises.”

“It’ll keep until tonight.”

“Is it a long story?”

“Fairly. Get some sleep, pet. We’ll talk more later.”

“Alright, I’ve got stuff to tell you too.” She thought of Jessie and her parents move to Boston. There was so much to talk to Spike about. It was nice, Willow reflected as she snuggled in closer to Spike’s side, to have someone she could tell anything too. Spike never judged or made her feel silly no matter what she said, he was always supportive and gave good advice if she asked for it. “I love you,” she said sleepily.

Spike smiled, catching the back of her knee and hooking her leg over his so that his thigh was pressed up against the soft warmth of her sex. “Love you too, baby.”

XxX

It wasn’t exactly a dream, even asleep Willow knew that. It didn’t have the same quality as a dream and there was nothing else there, just Jessie and her. It was weird, but Willow felt as if she were right there talking to him, she didn’t feel as if she were watching herself.

“Jessie, what are you doing here? How did you get here?”

Jessie grinned. “I can tap into your subconscious when you’re asleep so we can talk. Neat or what?”

“Actually, yeah,” Willow agreed. “Pretty neat. You should pop by my room later, I want you to meet Spike.”

“Oh, um,” Jessie was silent for a moment. “He won’t be able to see me.”

“Why not?”

“He’s a bit of a blockage. When you’re with him, Spike’s all you think about, it doesn’t give me much wiggle room to get through to you. But that’s okay, I mean, you should be concentrating on Spike, shouldn’t you. You have a life to live and he’s part of it.”

“So are you,” Willow assured him warmly. “You always will be.”

“We’ll have our moments together like this, you know, until you leave for Boston. That’s pretty special.”

Willow frowned. “Boston won’t make a difference will it? I’ll still need to sleep in Boston.”

Jessie chuckled. “I know that, but I won’t be able to visit you in Boston. You’ll go and I’ll stay. You’ll have your life with Spike and I’ll go back to the darkness. I guess I knew all along us being back together wouldn’t last. You’re still alive and I’m not.”

“But, why can’t you come to Boston too?”

Jessie smiled sadly. “I died here, on the Hellmouth and I died a demon, this is where I have to be. I’m stuck. I’m part of Sunnydale in a way. I have to stay here.”

Tears pricked her eyes and she blinked rapidly to clear them. “I can’t leave you,” she whispered. “I can’t let you down again.”

“You didn’t let me down before,” Jessie reminded her. “You aren’t the Slayer and you weren’t even practicing magic then. What happened to me isn’t your fault. It has never been your fault. What could you have done, Wills, with no special training or strength or speed? You had never even seen a vampire before. It was Buffy’s job to help me, to keep me safe and she screwed up big time.”

“She tried,” Willow insisted. Buffy may have failed but it wasn’t through lack of trying or any sort of negligence on her part. Buffy had done all she could and in her heart Willow knew it. She felt bad now, having thrown Jessie’s death in her friends face a few days ago. “She really tried her best, Jessie.”

“Well, you better hope her best still sucks when it comes to Spike.”

Willow stiffened. “What does that mean?”

“Oh come on, Wills!” Jessie threw up his hands with exasperation. “You really think she’s gonna sit back and do nothing about Spike? You think you’re gonna explain to her how much you love the evil vampire, the Slayer of Slayers and she’s just gonna hug you and help you plan the wedding or something? It’s Spike!”

“I fixed that, remember?”

“The crippling your enemy spell? Yeah,” he nodded. “I remember. It’s alright as a start.”

“A start?”

“Well, you’ve got Buffy sorted, but what about Giles and Xander?”

“Well, I… I hadn’t thought about them,” Willow admitted. “Buffy always seemed like the threat, not them.”

Jessie gave a short harsh laugh. “How can you say that when it was Xander who killed me? Don’t for one second think he’ll hesitate if he gets the opportunity to do the same to Spike. He’s got an ulterior motive too, remember?”

“He does?”

“He claims to be in love with you. Dispatching his rival would be the first thing to do, wouldn’t you say?”

“Oh!” Willow rung her hands together and began to pace back and forth, agitation in every line of her body. “What do I do? Spike’s in danger if I stay here, but I can’t very well leave town and leave you behind, can I? And I never even thought about Xander. Spike can take him without blinking, but I don’t want Xander to get hurt. It’s all such a mess!”

Jessie said nothing, he merely stood quietly and watched Willow as she rushed around in a circle muttering to herself, distress pouring off her in waves. She had quite the conundrum on her hands. It all came down to who she loved the most, and Jessie knew who would win out on that score.

When it came to Spike she could be a fierce force to be reckoned with and she was smart, all he had to do was wait, Willow would come to the conclusion herself that sometimes sacrifices had to be made for love; and make them she would, with a little nudge from him and an all -consuming love for Spike.

Everyone had a role to play, and it was time for Spike to play his.

Spike’s time had come. 

 

 

 


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42

 

Willow slept late, her body felt drained of energy what with the spell and Spike. She smiled as she came awake, Spike’s body a strong, cool presence beside her. She was still settled against him, her cheek pillowed on his chest; the lack of a heart beating in her ear wasn’t as odd as it had first been. It was, in its own way, strangely comforting. It was all part of Spike and there was nothing wrong with that.

Even in the realms of sleep, Spike was aware Willow had woken. He lay still, eyes still closed, half asleep and half tracking her heartbeat and movements as she ran her fingers over his chest and shifted a little onto her elbow beside him. Soft, warm lips pressed to the skin, just over his heart before she eased her way out of his embrace, trying to leave the bed without disturbing him.

He allowed her to get as far as the edge of the bed before tightening his arm around her waist and hauling her back.

Willow let out a little cry of surprise as she tumbled backwards into Spike’s waiting arms. “Goodness! Don’t do that. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest.”

Spike grinned. “I know, I can hear it.”

“I thought you were still sleeping.”

“I was. I told you, vampire’s don’t sleep the way human’s do. I’m still aware of ya, no matter how quiet you try to be.”

Willow smiled. “I was trying not to wake you.”

“I know, love, but you’re all toasty warm, an’ when you move, I notice.”

Catching his hand in hers, Willow lifted their joined fingers to her lips. “I have, you know, human stuff to do,” she gestured towards the door. “Do you think you could let me up?”

Spike released her, rolling after her on to his stomach to the warmth left by her body. He settled down, watching her as she pulled on a robe and gathered some clothes together. She was all sweetness and light his girl, so deliciously tempting, but he let her go and start her morning routine. Plenty of time to muss her up again when she got back.

After taking a shower and going through her morning ablutions, Willow made her way down to the kitchen for something to eat, her stomach rumbling frequently reminding her she hadn’t eaten since she, Spike and Faith had been at the diner the previous night.

Willow found her father in the kitchen making coffee. He smiled at her, looking a little pale and bleary eyed even for the middle of the morning. “Mom told me last night,” she said with a smile. “Congratulations, dad.”

“Thank you,” Ira poured his coffee and took a sip, sighing softly. “Red wine always gives me a headache. I don’t know why I drank it.”

“Celebrating,” Willow said helping herself to cereal. “You deserve it, dad. You’ve always worked really hard. It’s great you’re being recognised for it with such a prestigious position in a top university.”

Ira considered his daughter for a moment as she took a seat at the kitchen counter and munched on her cereal. “Does it put much of a crimp into your plans, Willow?”

“Plans?”

“For university. I suppose it would be too much to hope that Boston was your first choice. We’d like you to come with us, Willow, but you’re mother and I have discussed matters further this morning and, well, if you have your heart set on a specific school and you’re accepted we won’t stand in your way.”

“I haven’t made up my mind yet,” Willow admitted. “I’ll definitely come out to see you in Boston, but as for going to school there, well, I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it a bit more.”

“Of course, Willow,” Ira nodded his agreement, pleased his daughter still took her schooling and her future so seriously. “When you come out to see us I’ll give you a little tour and introduce you around so you can get the feel of the place.”

“That’ll be nice.” Willow couldn’t remember spending much quality time with her father as she had grown up, somehow they seemed to have grown apart, the thought made her mouth turn down at the corners.

Ira sat down opposite her and sipped his coffee. "So, how are your holiday going? Enjoying the break from school?"

Willow nodded. "It's nice to have some time off."

"We are looking to leave for Boston in a few days, I'm afraid we won't be here for New Year's."

Willow shrugged. It hardly mattered to her if her parents were around or not. She intended to spend her New Year's Eve with Spike anyway. She wondered if vampire's celebrated New Year's Eve, she already knew they took time off for Halloween and had different ways of enjoying Christmas than human's did. Spike hadn't mentioned New Year's to her, Willow hoped he would include her in any plans he made.

"You could come out with us," Ira suggested. "We could spend some time together before school restarts."

"I can't, I have plans."

"You can't postpone them to spend a little time with your old dad?" Ira wheedled with a smile.

There had been a time when she would have jumped at the chance to spend more time with her parents, but now things were different. Willow didn't see why she had to change her plans and drop what she was doing just to fit in with two people who generally didn't seem to give a damn whether she was part of their lives or not.

"No."

Ira blinked in surprise at the short, sharp response. Willow offered no further explanation, her eyes dropping down to her cereal. Ira had the uncomfortable feeling that Willow was dismissing him. He also had the feeling he probably deserved it.

Sheila came into the kitchen and jangled her car keys at her husband. "What are you doing in here? Why aren't you ready? You know we have to go into town, Ira, there are things to sort out before we leave. Good morning, Willow."

"Morning, mom," Willow glanced up at her.

Ira sighed, tipping his half empty cup of coffee down the sink. "I'll get my jacket. Looks like we're spending New Year's alone, Willow has elected not to join us in Boston."

"Xander?" Sheila guessed.

"No, not Xander," Willow ducked her head, a blush blooming in her cheeks. "I have to call Buffy." It suddenly occurred to Willow that she couldn't have a girly day with Buffy as arranged, she couldn't go off and leave Spike in the house with her parents. What if they decided to go into her room for some reason? She was going to have to be around just in case she needed to run interference.

"Buffy?" Sheila looked mystified.

"Bunny," Willow amended and grinned when her mother nodded, now understanding which friend her daughter was talking about.

Shutting herself in the front room Willow dialled Buffy's number, winding the phone cord around her finger as she waited for her friend to answer. Buffy's voice came over the line."You sound chipper."

"Hey Wills, why wouldn't I be chipper? We've got a hot date, remember."

"Um, about that, I'm going to have to see you later. As in sundown later."

"What? Why?" Buffy's disappointment was evident, any other time Willow would have been touched by it, but she had the suspicious feeling Buffy was disappointed not to have the opportunity to give her perfectly prepared Spike's Evil speech as soon as she would have liked.

"Spike. I can't leave him here with my parents home, can I?"

"He stayed! He stayed at your house!"

"Angel stayed the night at your house."

Willow's reasonable tone caused Buffy to huff. She could hardly argue the point when Willow was right. Still, it was not exactly the same thing. Angel had a soul, she guessed Spike sort of had a soul, and that kind of rendered her argument moot, especially since Buffy honestly believed that Spike, at least at the moment, meant Willow no harm, he'd had ample time to kill her and he hadn't. If something happened to Willow they had no idea what would happen with her soul and Buffy agreed with Angel when he had said Spike wouldn't run the risk of getting stuck with Willow's whole soul inside him.

"You're not trying to avoid me, are you?" Buffy asked at last.

"No of course not! I'll come by later, I'll bring pizza, how's that?"

"I guess it'll have to do. Listen, Wills, I, um," Buffy paused looking for the right words. "I want to talk about this, I want to hear all about it, honestly. I... I want to protect you, Wills, not because I'm the Slayer but because I'm your friend."

Willow smiled into the phone. "You always have, Buff."

Buffy smiled too. "So, tonight we'll talk, okay? Tonight is all about Spike. Deal?"

"Deal."

"Great. I'll stock up on the ice-cream. Gotta have ice-cream for guy talk, right?"

"Right," Willow agreed. "My mom's coming, I've gotta go. I'll see you tonight, Buffy."

"Bye, Wills." Buffy hung up and let out a long sigh, she felt a bit bad, she hadn't exactly lied to Willow but she had rather misled her. Buffy fully intended to get with the guy talk tonight, she wanted to hear every last detail of the Willow and Spike thing so she knew what she was up against. It had occurred to her as she walked home the previous evening and still continued to plague her as she curled up in bed, Willow wouldn't say she loved Spike if she didn't really believe she did.

Buffy chewed on her bottom lip for a moment. Was it wrong to deceive her best friend, to let her talk about Spike when all the time she, Buffy, intended on using the girly talk as a gathering Intel exercise? The more she knew about the situation with Spike the better able she would be to help and protect Willow, that was the important thing, right? Once Willow's soul was back whole inside its rightful owner and Spike was burning rubber out of Sunnydale in pursuit of Drusilla surely Willow would forgive her for her deception and realise Buffy had been looking out for her the way a best friend should.

XxX

Replacing the receiver Willow left the living room almost colliding with her mother in the hallway. "Oh, sorry, mom. I thought you were going out?"

"What if I stayed instead? We could spend some time together, how about it?"

"Us?" Willow looked confused. "What would we do?"

"Well," Sheila smiled slightly. "I thought maybe we could watch Grease 2."

Willow's eyebrows shot up. "Grease 2?"

"You used to watch it quite a lot when you were younger. The first time you ever saw it was with me. We had a bowl of popcorn and soda and we were snuggled up on the sofa under a blanket. You were off school with the flu, remember?"

Willow nodded slowly. "Yes, I remember."

It was one of the memories which stuck out for Willow, a moment when her mother had actually made time for her. She couldn't fault Sheila for attentiveness when her daughter was sick, Willow remembered being read to and watching TV with her mother when she had been ill. She remembered the grilled cheese sandwiches and the warm soup and the coco before bed; and she remembered her mother going back to her daily activities as soon as Willow was well again, the closeness going with her.

"Well? Shall we watch it, for old times' sake?"

"Sure." Willow half despised herself for her response, as much as liked to pretend her parents disinterest didn't bother her and that she enjoyed not having her parents breathing down her neck giving her a curfew and grounding her and so on, she knew in her heart she still craved her mother's attention.

"You know, for months after you first saw the movie you used to pretend to be Michelle Pfeiffer when she sings that song Cool Rider."

Willow's nose wrinkled. "Mom!" She was completely aware of Spike in her room, probably listening to every word they said. Like she wanted him hearing embarrassing little Willow stories.

"Well you did," Sheila insisted. "And I remember telling you not to bring a boy back here if he had a motor cycle."

"I've still never been on one," Willow said.

"That's for the best."

"I'd still like to."

Sheila frowned. "I don't enforce many rules, Willow, but this is one I must insist upon. No motor cycles, they're dangerous."

"Not with the right driver, or well, rider," Willow amended, her mind on Spike. "I think with the right rider you'd just have the sense of being free."

"No motor cycles," Sheila repeated firmly.

A wave of annoyance washed over her and Willow glared at her mother. Who did Sheila Rosenberg think she was standing there dishing out orders? Did Sheila think her daughter was some mindless, spineless idiot? Did she think she was talking to a doormat, someone who would just smile and nod and roll over at her mother's bidding? Maybe once, but not anymore, Sheila had no idea who her daughter was, she had never known and it grated that she would presume her words would have any effect at all. "Don't concern yourself with what I do, mom. I wouldn't want to take up your valuable time."

Sheila flinched. "I'm concerned for your welfare, Willow."

"I presumed my welfare was my own concern considering you haven't shown the slightest interest in what I do for a good many years now." Willow pushed passed her mother heading for her room. "I'll skip the movie," Willow called over her shoulder. "I wouldn't want to get in the way of your packing."

Shutting her bedroom door firmly, Willow leant against it her eyes on Spike. He was lying on his stomach, his hands bunched beneath the pillow, his hair curling and rumpled. Willow swallowed at the sight of him.

"You alright, pet?"

She let out a sigh and went to sit on the edge of the bed. "I'm fine. I didn't mean to wake you back up. Do you mind if I stay?"

"Course not, love. Besides, it's your room."

"I won't disturb you," she promised, leaning over to kiss his forehead.

Spike yawned. "Come on, get into bed. Don't forget to get rid of those clothes."

Retrieving the magic book from beneath the bed and settling in beside him, Willow smiled as Spike curled himself around her, nuzzling at her neck, pressing soft kisses against her shoulder and chest. Willow sighed, the tension draining from her, a feeling of contentment swelling inside her.

"If you aren't going to sleep," Willow said as Spike's tongue traced her collar bone, "Will you tell me what happened last night?"

"If you want me to talk to you, love, I can think of more interestin' things to say." Spike grinned, pressing his cheek to the blush colouring her chest. "Still such a modest little girl, I'll cure you of that," he promised, his voice a husky whisper that made her insides twist with longing.

"You... you went to find information," she prompted shakily.

"Got it an' 'en some," Spike said propping himself up on his elbow. "I actually held The Books of Ascension."

"You have them?"

Her eyes lit up with excitement and Spike's heart sank at the prospect of telling her the truth having her disappointed in him. The Slayer he was sure, wouldn't have lost the books and the poof probably wouldn't have either. The last thing Spike wanted was for Willow to compare him to the Slayer and Angel and find him lacking.

He didn't want her to be like everyone else in his life.

"Not anymore," he admitted and quietly told her about the ambush at Skylar's place. He didn't omit anything, he even told her about killing Sklyar. Willow seemed to take the death of Skylar as a matter of course and didn't appear concerned about it.

"A pure demon, what does that mean? How is it different from any other demon?" Willow wondered.

"I'm not sure," Spike said. "Maybe it will make him immortal."

"He's already immortal," she reminded him.

"Then he'll 'ave more power. He'll be stronger than other demons an' immortal. Pretty much you're top dog in the demon community."

"Buffy won't be able to stop him, will she? Once the Ascension is complete I mean."

"No," Spike replied with certainty. "Nothin' will stop him once he ascends. That's the whole point of it. Skylar said there's no guarantee of any of us will be left standin' once the Ascension starts. Sunnydale ain't gonna be the safest place to be Slayer or no Slayer. Chances are she'll be the first one to die an' anyone standin' with her will go down next."

Willow digested this information in silence. "There's bound to be a way to stop it. Giles will know what to do."

"Maybe."

"We'll stop it. We'll find a way," she said, completely confident in Giles and his research skills.

They had stopped him, they had stopped Angelus, they had stopped The Master; it wasn't such a stretch to think they would find a way to stop The Ascension too. It was a risk though, a long shot, and Spike wasn't willing to sit back and hope that this particular long shot paid off. There was no telling when the Ascension was set to take place, there may not be time to research anything.

"Don't ask me to watch you die," he spoke softly and it gave his words added weight and meaning.

She blinked, her throat clogging for a moment. Just the thought of Spike dying was enough to send her cold, if she had to watch it, see him come apart in front of her eyes Willow felt sure she would come apart too. Could it really be the same for him?

Twisting onto her side Willow caught his face in her palms and kissed him. "You offered me the world, does the offer still stand?"

"You want it, it's yours."

"I want it."

"I'll give it to you."

Relief washed through him and Spike closed his eyes to bask in it. Let the Slayer and the poof worry about Sunnydale, he and Willow were going to shake the dust of this crummy little town and head out to enjoy the world.

She kissed him again, soft little kisses caressing his lips and Spike shivered with delight his lips parting, inviting her to deepen the kiss. Her tongue touched his and Spike groaned, leaning further into her, his arm sliding around her waist, fingers splayed against her bare flesh.

Blunt teeth nipped at her chin, his lips moving down to press against her throat.

"What do you suppose Skylar meant when he said the Ascension wasn't what you thought it was?"

"Don't know, pet. I 'aven't worked that one out."

"But he told you what would happen when the Ascension started, the Mayor is going to be a pure demon. What could he have meant by saying it wasn't what you thought?"

"Does it matter?" he brushed his lips over hers.

"It doesn't make sense."

Spike slid further down the bed. "Concentrate on me, baby." He took a pert nipple into his mouth, satisfied when she moaned and curled her fingers through his hair.

Releasing her nipple Spike kissed her parted lips lightly. "Wanna taste you, baby. Wanna feel you explode in my mouth."

Willow visibly trembled, her legs parting as he slid down her body, pushing the bed sheets out of the way, exposing her entire body. He caressed her thighs slowly, his eyes burning. Using his thumbs he parted her gently, breathing in the scent of her growing arousal. The first swipe of his tongue against her caused Willow's hips to buck with a soft cry.

As his tongue slid inside her, his hands moved over her, skating over her skin to ride her hips and trace the curve of her breasts; simultaneously his tongue stroked her clit and his fingers touched to her nipples.

She moaned, her body surging towards him, a desperate longing uncurling in the pit of her stomach.

His mouth fastened on her clit, his tongue passing over it again and again as his fingers slipped inside her; stroking her slowly. Willow whimpered, her hands fisting in his hair, her feet pressing into the bed as she arched her back, pushing against him.

"That' s it baby," Spike encouraged his voice thick and hoarse. "Come for me love, let me taste you."

With a violent shudder Willow reached her peak as Spike slipped his tongue back inside her. He groaned, drinking greedily, his fingers flexing over her hips.

Shifting to his knees Spike brought her legs up to his shoulders, kissing her ankle before sliding inside her. Willow gasped, her eyes flying open and her stomach knotting. She was panting, staring at him eyes bright with desire.

Spike held himself steady, absorbing the feeling of her all wet and warm around him; she made his skin prickle and his chest tight. His cock twitched demanding attention and Spike moved; slow, deep strokes of his cock which made his eyes roll back into his head.

"I love you." He was looking at her as though she were something wonderful and Willow tried to reply in kind, she tried to form the words, but she couldn't, she couldn't breathe; her lips parted in a soundless cry as her hands fisted in the bed sheets as her inner muscles clamped down on him and the bed shook beneath them.

Spike growled, his eyes darkening as he shuddered violently, his entire body going ridged as the magic surrounding him seemed to caress his bare skin.

Willow’s arms reached for him and Spike went to her, kissing her ankle, her knee, her shoulder and finally her mouth as he settled into her embrace.

XxX

Angel was sitting at the kitchen counter with a pack of cards when Spike returned to the mansion after dropping Willow at the Slayer’s house.

Happy and contented, a smile on his face, Spike propped himself against the door frame watching Angel as he examined the cards on the table and then peeked ahead into the deck. Spike snorted. “That what you’re life has come to? Cheatin’ at a game of solitaire?”

“I wasn’t cheating,” Angel replied gathering the cards together. “I was just seeing if the game was going to come out right. It saves time.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “You really know how to ‘ave a good time, don’t you?”

“Nobody asked you, Spike.” Angel shuffled the pack. “Fancy a game or do you have big evil plans to attend to with the numerous friends you don’t have?”

Spike scowled. He knew he didn’t have any more friends to his name than Angel did. “I don’t keep friends, they’re a liability.”

“Guess that works out quite well then, considering nobody likes you anyway.”

“Oh and you’re overrun with offers, aren't ya? I just passed the long line of people queuing round the block for the pleasure of your company.”

Angel smiled slightly. “Are you playing or not?”

Angelus had been a big fan of set pieces. He enjoyed setting people up whether it was to get what he wanted, lead them to their death or a bit of plain humiliation to brighten up a dull evening; he always set things out just right so the person, or demon, in question never saw it coming until Angelus decided to unveil his grand finale.

Angel had decided to take a leaf out of Angelus’ book. He could say anything he wanted about his evil counterpart, but the vamp got things done, he always got what he wanted and as it was Angelus’ way rather than Angel’s, he was rather hoping Spike wouldn’t catch on.

He had given the Spike matter a great deal of thought and had come to the conclusion that he was going to have to play the long game, he was going to have to lead Spike around to his way of thinking one little step at a time. He couldn’t just tell Spike he wanted him. He couldn’t just pounce on Spike, although that did have its appeal, he was going to have to wear the younger vampire down slowly; open his eyes to the possibility of them together again. It wouldn’t be like the old days, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t be good.

Spike took off his coat and threw it across the kitchen unit, taking a seat opposite Angel. “What’re we playin’?”

“Gin?”

“Fine.” He sniffed and looked at the bottle sitting at Angel’s elbow. “You’re drinkin’ beer?”

“Used to drink quite a lot of it,” Angel reminded him. “There’s some in the fridge if you want a bottle.”

“Don’t mind if I do.” Spike helped himself and sat back down to examine his cards.

“The last time we played cards together was in Romania, remember?”

“Well it would ‘ave been, wouldn’t it. You were cursed in Romania.”

“I know that, but we were together in China after that.”

“Oh yeah,” Spike nodded.

“I’d picked up that Italian Countess remember; and you wanted her. I said I’d play you for her and you won. Found out after you drained her that you’d been cheating. Chained you up in the kitchen and spent the day exposing you to the sun and subjecting you to other equally fitting forms of punishment. Remember?”

Spike took a card from the pile and discarded it. “Not really. Was it good for you?”

Angel laughed. “The end result was, if I’m not mistaken.”

Spike had a vague recollection of the event. His fights with Angelus were numerous and legendry, they all bled into one after a while and it was difficult to tell them apart. He knew without being told the end result would have been him and Angelus fucking long and hard the way only male vampire’s could; all power and control and dominance. Why Angel was bringing it up was a mystery.

“At least you’ve got your memories to keep you warm, Peaches.”

“I’m not sure,” Angel said slowly, “If that’s such a good thing. You know, to experience something and then have it taken away from you, never to be experienced again.”

“You know what they say; it’s better to have loved and lost an’ all that rot.”

“Try it!”

“I have!”

They glared at each other across the pile of cards, it was Angel who eventually looked away. “I know I’ve hurt you in the past, emotionally I mean, and I’m sorry about that,” he smirked, “I know you’re not adverse to the physical type of pain so I won't apologise for that.”

Spike merely shrugged, unsure as to where Angel was going with this conversation. Angelus was one thing, Angel was something else. He hadn’t thought to see the day when Angel would acknowledge that aspect of their past.

They were silent for a while, Angel allowing Spike to absorbed his words and perhaps remember their history for himself in all its exquisite painful glory.

When it didn’t look as if Spike was going to speak any time soon Angel got edgy. “I don’t expect you’ve seen the paper, the Deputy Mayor has been killed.”

Spike didn’t look up from his cards just in case Angel read something in his eyes that he shouldn’t. “Always first with the gossip, ain't ya."

“I think it was humans,” Angel admitted. “He was stabbed. But then again, he was found in the cemetery so it could be demons.”

Spike shook his head and let out a breath. “Humans do go to cemeteries; you know, to visit their dearly departed.”

“I know that,” Angel snapped

“I know you like to put humanity up there on a pedestal, an’ you think being human means being good, but it don’t. Hate to be the one to break it to you,” Spike said, ”but humans do evil things all the time, Angel.”

“I know that too. Haven’t we seen enough of it over the years?”

“Guess we ‘ave at that.”

Angel discarded the three of clubs for the Queen of Spades. "There should be more beauty in the world, don't you think?"

"Can't say I've thought much about it."

"How can you say that? You used to write poetry."

Spike glowered. "Used to, not any more. Weren't no damn good anyway."

"I liked your poems." Angel hoped to show Spike that he, unlike Angelus, could accept all aspects of Spike and would encourage and nurture his creative side.

"I've seen your record collection, you like Barry Manilow," Spike replied snidely.

"Oh and I suppose The Sex Pistols are considered artists, are they?" Angel snapped back.

"Nothin' wrong with The Sex Pistols," Spike said firmly.

"I remember a time when you used to listen to Strauss."

"Was bugger all else to listen to; and while we're on the subject, I remember you caterwauling The Wild Colonial Boy."

"I'm Irish," Angel pointed out. "And that's a good song."

"It was until you mangled the bloody melody an' what all. Stick to your drawin', you can't carry a tune in a soddin' bucket." He grinned at the affronted look Angel sent his way, and tossed a card on the pile.

"I'm not that bad."

"Who the hell ever told you that?"

"Um...It was....um..."

"You can't finish that sentence can you?" Spike crowed. "No bugger ever said you could sing." He set his cards down. "Gin."

Angel frowned at his cards and tossed them onto the pile. "You better not be cheating, Spike."

"Did you see me cheatin'?"

"I didn't see you cheating in Romania, but you still did it."

"Not like you always played by the rules," Spike pointed out taking a slug of his cool beer.

"Never said I did. Another game?" Angel was thrilled when Spike nodded, he hadn't enjoyed himself so much in ages. He sent his feelers out to try and gauge what Spike was thinking. "Nice to have someone to reminisce with."

Spike eyed him warily. "You aren't gonna burst into song are you?"

Angel laughed, "Wasn't planning on it."

"Good. Not sure I could stand it." Spike took another swig of beer and sorted through his cards. He gestured at Angel. "Losers first."

Angel rolled his eyes and picked a card, the two of hearts didn't interest him and he tossed it on the table. "You should start writing again."

Spike glanced up from his cards a small frown puckering his forehead. "Why?"

"I told you, I liked your poems. You were good."

"No I wasn't."

"I think you were," Angel insisted.

"Does it look like I care what you think?" Spike asked crossly.

"Alright, alright, don't sulk."

"'m not sulkin'."

"Yeah you are, your jaw clenches and then you pout." Angel chuckled at the dark look Spike sent him. He concentrated on the game for a while, letting Spike digest everything that had passed between them so far tonight. Angel couldn't say what was going through Spike's mind, there had been a time when he could tell what Spike was thinking but tonight it was impossible to even hazard a guess. Had they been apart for too long? Could they get back on track? Had their bond been severed for good with the gypsies curse?

Spike couldn't work Angel out. He had no idea why Angel was suddenly so keen to revisit the past when he spent so much time trying to avoid it, evade it, bury it. He could only surmise that Angel was taking his advice and setting himself on the path to redemption by trying to face up to his past instead of hiding from it. Spike made a face, it wasn't that he minded a trip down memory lane, but knowing his luck the car would run out of gas half way and he'd be stuck raking over old ground with Angel bemoaning every evil deed he'd ever committed.

He considered telling Angel about the Ascension, give him something else to think and worry about. Besides, Willow had been right, he didn't really want anything to happen to Angel; of course he would never admit that out loud, not even under pain of torture. Angel however chose that moment to speak and Spike let the thought pass.

"I've been thinking lately," Angel began.

Spike let out a groan. "Oh here we go."

"About my soul."

Spike groaned again. "Perfect. What now?"

"Well, now I know it's not permanent and I know what causes me to lose it, I don't think I'll lose it again. I can't possibly achieve perfect happiness if I'm worrying about achieving perfect happiness."

"Makes sense," Spike said absently, retrieving the card Angel discarded and adding it to his hand.

"And I thought that, well, if it was the type of experience that appealed more to the demon there would be even less of a risk," he finished silkily, remembering skin as cool and smooth as satin covering a body which was strong and taunt, muscles rippling in the candle light, with one lone drop of blood trickling down a firm chest to a perfectly defined abdomen and a long, hard cock jutting proudly from sharp, slender hips.

Eyes flashing yellow Angel looked long and hard at Spike who was staring back at him. Angel's cock stirred, his stomach knotting with anticipation.

Lips pursed in thought Spike came back to himself, aware that Angel had stopped talking. "Where can I get a motor bike?"

"I...what? A motor bike?"

"Hum, wanna surprise my girl."

"How the hell do I know." Angel glowered furiously.

"I save your worthless life an' you can't even find me a motor bike. Why do I even bother?"

"I was just wondering that myself," Angel muttered through grit teeth. It looked like he had his work cut out for him if he was going to keep Spike for himself.

 

 


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43  
  
"Oooh great. Pizza! I'm starved," Buffy greeted Willow with a smile, her hands outstretched to the large box Willow held. She stood aside for Willow to pass into the foyer, her eyes scanning the darkness, but she couldn't see Spike. He was near though, Buffy could sense him. Buffy might have thought it was rather decent of him to make sure Willow got here safely if this business with Willow's soul wasn't all up in the air.   
  
Closing the door sharply, Buffy made a face at the thought of Spike and followed Willow into the living room where she plopped down on the sofa and opened the pizza box. "Hey! There's a slice missing. Why is there a slice missing?"   
  
"Spike ate it."   
  
"Brave vamp, eating a hungry Slayer's pizza," Buffy said with a grin.   
  
Willow poured them both a drink, Buffy had thought ahead and brought two glasses and a large bottle of soda into the living room before Willow arrived. "He is the Slayer of Slayers, he probably figured he could take you."   
  
It was said flippantly, lightly; Willow's words chilled Buffy to the very marrow of her bones. Willow would never joke about her friend's death and Buffy knew it. Had Spike threatened to bag himself another Slayer? Buffy shifted awkwardly, the questions she longed to ask burning on her tongue, but she knew she couldn't ask outright, not if she wanted Willow to stay and open up to her.   
  
"He's a vampire, why is he eating my pizza anyway?"  
  
"Spike eats human food sometimes, he says it's a habit he never got around to breaking."  
  
"Oh." Buffy wasn't quite sure how to respond, she hadn't really been expecting Willow to be able to provide an answer. Buffy caught her bottom lip between her teeth. She had no idea if Angel ate human food. It seemed that Willow and Spike talked and not just about demons and battle strategy or an impending apocalypse like she and Angel did. Buffy felt a twinge of jealousy.   
  
Willow took a slice of pizza and sat back against the cushions. "So, I have news. My dad has been offered a job at Boston University. They're leaving for Boston in the next few days."   
  
"Boston?" Buffy paused, pizza half way to her mouth. "You're leaving for Boston?"   
  
All thoughts of Spike vanished from Buffy's mind, the only thing she could think about was being without her best friend. She didn't want Willow to leave. That was the very last thing she wanted, and how selfish was that! Willow had always been the smart one, she had always enjoyed school and was good at it. Buffy didn't exactly struggle in her lessons but she had to work to make decent grades unlike Willow who just had a natural aptitude. Since becoming the Slayer and arriving in Sunnydale Buffy had more or less resigned herself to the fact she would be stuck guarding the Hellmouth until some demon or other finally took her out of the game and she had always figured Willow would be there with her. Again with the selfishness.   
  
If she had never befriend Willow then Willow would have graduated and gone out into the world and made something of herself, had a life, a great job, travelled, married, had children; everything Willow was supposed to do, and now her best friend had the chance to escape the life that she as the Slayer was stuck in and have a normal life.   
  
Buffy kinda envied her the opportunity.   
  
"My parents are leaving for Boston, in the next few days. I'm staying here. We decided not to interrupt my school year."   
  
"So you're staying until graduation?"  
  
Graduation was a fair few months away yet, they still had plenty of time to sort out Willow's soul.  
  
Still, how much did it completely suck that her time with Willow suddenly had an expiration date! There was a part of Buffy which recognised Willow leaving the Hellmouth was a good thing for Willow. Her life was on the line every minute of the day and night so long as she remained in Sunnydale, being friends with the Slayer put her on every demon's hit list.   
  
But her heart still ached at the thought of losing her best friend.   
  
On the bright side, Buffy couldn't really see Spike heading for Boston and settling down in a little apartment off campus while Willow went to school. It might be just the thing Willow needed to evict Spike from her life. That could only be a good thing.   
  
Willow knew Buffy thought she was going to Boston with her parents and she allowed her friend to think it. "The house isn't going on the market until then."  
  
Spike hadn't said when he wanted to leave town, but Willow had the feeling he wouldn't want to hang around until graduation with the Ascension hanging over them. There would have been a time when Willow might have had an apoplectic fit at the prospect of not graduating from high school; but now she honestly couldn't care less. School had been such a big part of her life because she'd had nothing else; now she had Spike and being with him was much more enticing that attending graduation.   
  
Willow Rosenberg school nerd; high school dropout. She had to stifle the urge to giggle.  
  
"I... I can't believe you're leaving," Buffy whispered, tears coming to her eyes.   
  
"We don't have to talk about it," Willow said quickly, sadness welling up in her at Buffy's distraught expression. Funny how it was only now she was thinking of how much she would miss Buffy.   
  
Buffy forced a smile to her face. "Alright then, lets get to the good stuff; Spike smoochies."  
  
Willow laughed, her cheeks colouring. "Those are definitely the good stuff!"   
  
Oh how Buffy wished they were having this conversation about any other guy other than Spike. She wished it were someone else, anyone else bringing that spark of excitement to Willow's eyes.  
  
"He's like nobody else in the world."  
  
Watching Willow's face soften at the very mention of Spike made Buffy's gut twist.   
  
"Has he met your parents?"   
  
Willow shook her head and selected a slice of pizza. "I don't see the point, what with them leaving town."   
  
Parental disapproval and interference was obviously not going to come to Buffy's aid. She was going to have to rely on finding the right words to build a case against Spike. Although, if Xander's declaration didn't do the trick Buffy had the sinking feeling there was nothing much she could say which would have any effect. Still, Buffy was determined to do her best just as Willow would do for her.   
  
"You've been spending a lot of time with him lately, what... um...?" Buffy trailed off unsure which question to start with. "Is Spike the reason you and Oz broke up?"   
  
"Yes," Willow nodded. "I never wanted to hurt Oz and staying with him would have hurt him in the long run. It was a mutual decision really. I think he could see I didn't feel the same about him anymore." She gave a small shrug. "All those Oz feelings were just gone."  
  
"And there were new Spike feelings?" Buffy guessed.   
  
"So many new Spike feelings. I don't get butterflies with Spike I get rockets," she pressed her hands to her stomach. "And when we kiss, there's no spark, with Spike it's full blown fireworks. He doesn't make me tingly, he gives me electric currents and he doesn't make me warm, he burns me up."  
  
Buffy let out a breath. "Sounds intense."  
  
"It is," Willow agreed. "I love him, Buff. I love him so much it hurts."   
  
Buffy could identify; she'd been there. She was still there. Her heart stopped and swelled at the mere thought of Angel, but her sparks and fireworks were a thing of the past, Angel kept her at arm's length these days. Buffy understood why, and even as it pained her it thrilled her at the same time that she could affect Angel so strongly.   
  
"When he's not around you miss him," Buffy spoke quietly. "When he's there the world is just better."  
  
Willow smiled "You do understand."   
  
"I understand you think you're in love," Buffy said slowly, "But, isn't it a bit soon for love?"  
  
"Is it?" Willow shrugged. "You can't control how you feel, can you? If you feel something then you feel it."   
  
Buffy had a momentary flash back to a similar conversation she'd had with Xander when he had asked her out. "Do you think perhaps, these feelings have come from you splitting soul?"   
  
Willow had expected this question, "I wondered that." How could Buffy not ask the question Willow had been asking herself when she first started getting her Spike feelings. "But I didn't do the spell and then suddenly love Spike. I did the spell and ended up loving Spike. It wasn't an overnight thing."   
  
"I wasn't really thinking of a time frame. I just meant that your feelings, whether sudden or not, couldn't they have something to do with your soul?"   
  
"I don't think so," Willow licked her fingers and took a long drink of soda. "I've thought about it a lot and while I could see the two parts of my soul being drawn together, I don't believe that would make me love him."   
  
"But it's possible," Buffy persisted. "And even if I'm wrong, what about Spike?"   
  
"What about him?"   
  
"He's a vampire. He's a demon. He's evil with no humanity and no compassion. He's smart, sneaky and manipulative. He'd convince you that you felt something for him just because he's bored hanging around town while we figure out a way to put your soul back. That's all he wants, Wills, all he wants is your soul out of him and then he's outta here. You can't trust him no matter what he says. He was willing to sell Angelus out and he and Angelus are family. He promised if I let him and Drusilla go that I would never hear from either of them again and yet here he is, back in town. He can't be trusted. He'll say and do anything to get what he wants."   
  
"So, what your saying is," Willow began slowly. "That the only reason Spike would show any interest in me at all is because he's bored and wants to while away his time by manipulating me?"  
  
Buffy realised her error and winced. "No. No that's ... I mean I didn't mean that..."   
  
"Why don't you think about what you did mean while I go to the bathroom," Willow said coldly. She got up and marched from the room rather wishing there was a door to slam on her way out.   
  
She was furious. Just what did Buffy see when she looked at her? Did Buffy think that she didn't have what it took to attract someone like Spike? That Spike, or anyone for that matter, couldn't show an interest in her? What about Oz, he'd shown an interest. He had wanted to be with her, why should Spike be any different. It was just like Faith said, just because Xander hadn't wanted her, although he did now, didn't mean no other boy would.   
  
"She doesn't understand."   
  
Willow jumped, standing right by the bathroom door was Jessie. "Hi," she smiled a greeting and went into the bathroom at his gesture. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Just checking in. Good thing I did. Looks like you could use a friend right about now." He smiled sadly. "She doesn't understand, Wills. She'll never understand."   
  
"No she doesn't. Buffy's never been second best. Buffy's never wanted someone she couldn't have. Buffy's never been ignored by the people in her life. But you'd think Buffy would be the one person who would understand about Spike. She loves Angel after all and he's a vampire."   
  
"Hum," Jessie murmured. "But Spike isn't like Angel. He's not like Angelus either. Spike has the capacity to be so much more than a vampire. He's not just an evil demon, he can feel and he has loyalties too. He's different to everything she thinks she knows about vampires."  
  
"The only vampire she knows is Angel."   
  
"And she doesn't know him as well as she thinks she does."  
  
Willow frowned. "What do you mean?"   
  
Jessie let out a sigh. "Oz knew your feelings for him had changed, didn't he? He could sense it, see it, because he knows you. Am I right?"   
  
"I guess." Willow looked confused. "But what has that got to do with Buffy and Angel?"  
  
"Well, if Buffy knew Angel half as well as she likes to think she does and if she could take some time out from thinking the world revolves around her then she'd see it. She'd see Angel's feelings for her have changed. He's not in love with her anymore."   
  
Willow's eyes went wide an incredulous look on her face. "But it's Buffy and Angel. He's her forever, the love of her life." It defied belief to Willow that Angel would ever not love Buffy. "You must be wrong. Even when he was evil Buffy was the only thing he thought about, they're, well, they're Buffy and Angel."   
  
"Not any more they aren't. Although she doesn't know it yet. Angel has his sights set on someone else."   
  
Torn between wanting to know and wondering if she was better off staying out of it Willow stared long and hard at Jessie. "Who?" she asked at last, unable to resist knowing just who had managed to replace the wonderful irreplaceable Buffy Summers in Angel's heart. Who else did Angel know other than Buffy and her friends?   
  
"Spike."   
  
Willow blinked. "I'm sorry. For a second there I thought you said Spike."   
  
"I did. Angel's in love with Spike."   
  
If Spike hadn't already mentioned his history with Angelus it might have come as more of a surprise to her. Somehow though, it wasn't surprising or shocking at all; who wouldn't love Spike?   
  
Buffy calling up the stairs asking if she was alright broke Willow out of her thoughts. She frowned crossly at Jessie "I wish you hadn't told me. Do you know how bad I'm going to feel keeping this sort of secret from Buffy?"  
  
Jessie shrugged. "As bad she feels making out you're incapable of attracting a member of the opposite sex?"   
  
"She didn't exactly say that."   
  
"You're right, she didn't. She just implied that the man you love doesn't really love you back and is merely manipulating and using you for his own amusement. That's much better."   
  
Buffy's voice came again and Willow left the bathroom with a small huff and a feeling of irritation coursing through her. Arriving at the top of the stairs she stared down at Buffy who was stood at the bottom, a worried, sheepish look on her face. "Look, Wills, I didn't mean that the way it came out."   
  
"So, when you implied Spike would never really be interested in me what you meant was....?"  
  
Buffy groaned quietly and ran a hand through her hair. "Wills, this isn't about what Spike feels. This is about your feelings."   
  
"Which you also don't believe are real."   
  
"Um..." Buffy shifted uncomfortably for a moment before squaring her shoulders and fixing her best friend with a firm look. "No I don't. This is Spike. The same Spike who nearly killed me last year. The same Spike who tried to kill you. The same Spike who kidnapped you and knocked Xander unconscious. The same Spike who brought the Judge back. The same Spike who tortured Angel. The same Spike who was known as William the Bloody! and got his new name from torturing innocent people with railroad spikes. The same Spike whose killed not only two Slayers but hundreds of people over the years. He's evil. He kills for fun. Now," Buffy folded her arms across her chest and fixed Willow with a knowing eye. "Does that sound like the kind of guy you, Willow Rosenberg, good guy, would love?"  
  
"You've only ever seen that side of him. You don't know anything else about him."   
  
Buffy threw up her arms exasperated. "What else is there to know?"   
  
"What type of music he likes. What his favourite colour is. What he was like as a little boy. What he did as a human; can you answer any of those questions about Angel?"  
  
Buffy's lips parted but no sound came out. She flushed, aware that she couldn't answer any of those questions. Again she experienced a twinge of jealously. Willow wouldn't have asked if she couldn't answer those exact questions about Spike. It was difficult to insist that Spike was merely using Willow if he opened up to her about his past.   
  
It suddenly occurred to Buffy that she might be wrong. Perhaps Spike wasn't trying to manipulate Willow as she had originally thought; perhaps Spike too thought his feelings were real. It made sense considering he had half of Willow's soul. Willow wouldn't just be drawn to Spike; they would be drawn together.   
  
Before Buffy could put her thoughts into words, Willow spoke again.  
  
"No wonder Angel's looking elsewhere. Who wants to spend their time with a spoilt brat who only thinks about herself and doesn't even try to get to know the man she claims to love. Being attracted to Angel, thinking he's hot; that's not the same as loving him."   
  
Buffy blinked, clearly confused. "What?"   
  
"Angel," Willow pronounced his name slowly. "He's in love with Spike."  
  
XxX  
  
The blinds of the Mayor's office were drawn against the night sky, keeping out prying eyes. Mayor Wilkins sat in a puddle of yellow lamp light, one of the books of Ascension in his hands, a gleeful smile on his face.   
  
Mr Trick sat opposite him reading the story of Allan Finch's death. He wondered what the Deputy Mayor had been doing in the cemetery in the first place. He hadn't heard anything on the demon grapevine and there didn't appear to be any wounds other than the fatal one to his heart; Mr Trick had no idea who or what had killed Allan Finch.  
  
"NO!" Mayor Wilkins sat up so suddenly his chair wobbled dangerously.   
  
"What?" Mr Trick frowned at him.   
  
"This...this can't be right!" Mayor Wilkins flipped the pages of the book, his eyes swivelling in their sockets as he scanned the pages, sweat beading on his upper lip.  
  
"Ah, Richard."   
  
The voice behind him startled Mr Trick, he hadn't heard the door open, hadn't sensed a presence. He turned to look over his shoulder and almost fell out of his chair when he saw who was stood in front of him. Scrambling to his feet Mr Trick stared hard at Allan Finch; no heart beat, no scent, it was disconcerting. He had no idea what was going on but Mr Trick had the feeling he had stumbled into something much bigger than he had anticipated.   
  
"What is this?" Mayor Wilkins stood up and shook the book at Allan Finch.   
  
"I'm afraid I'm not following you, Richard."   
  
"We had a deal," The Mayor said through grit teeth, his composure gone. "The Ascen..."   
  
"Ascension," Allan nodded, a smug smile curling his lips. "It will still take place as it was always meant to do and you will be present for it, as was our deal."   
  
Mayor Wilkins said nothing for a moment, his colour rising to an angry puce and his eyes darkening with fury. "You said I needed the books. Why do I need the books if..."   
  
"I didn't say you needed the books," Allan snapped. "I said you needed to ensure that Spike or more importantly, the Slayer, didn't get their hands on the books. The less they know about The Ascension the better. I won't risk anything interfering with it. Are we clear?"   
  
Mayor Wilkins pouted. "All these years wasted! I've been sitting around waiting for something that was never going happen."   
  
"You're immortal, Richard, you'll soon realise that all being immortal amounts to is sitting around waiting for something to happen. However, once the Ascension is complete you will be invaluable, an immortal is always useful in battle."   
  
"Battle?" The Mayor let out a small groan. "More violence?"  
  
"You don't think the Slayer is going to roll over do you? No Richard, she will fight and she will die. You should be ready to play your part or deal with Spike. You're choice of course. I'm sure a vampire like Spike could have all kinds of fun with an immortal prisoner. Immortal you will remember, Richard, means you can't die, it gives you no further special powers."   
  
Mr Trick's attention never left Allan Finch. He may not have been able to say exactly what was going on, but he did know this wasn't the Deputy Mayor back from the dead, this was something else entirely.  
  
He ran cold when Allan's eyes turned to him. This was something or someone much stronger and darker than a human.   
  
"You consider yourself a leader, do you not?"   
  
Mr Trick nodded once, unsure whether to agree or disagree with this entity masquerading as the man he had had no respect for and had felt was a weak link in the chain.   
  
"Then you will spread the word throughout the demon community. You will gather all those able to fight and tell them The Ascension is coming." Allan smiled and Mr Trick shrank back, he felt as if he were in the presence of something purely evil, more so than himself or any demon he had ever met.   
  
"Mr Trick, you will ensure no harm comes to Spike or his little witch. They are vital to my plans."  
  
Mr Trick's eyebrows drew together in confusion. "What does the Slayer's friend have to do with the Ascension?"   
  
Allan smiled again. "I understand your confusion. Richard here has been labouring under the illusion that he will be the one to Ascend. He has now discovered that was never to be the case, if I merely needed a powerless demon any demon would have been sufficient. I need a witch and not just any witch, I needed one who has immense power." He sent a look at Mayor Wilkins who was starting to look angry again. "You see, Spike's arrival caused Willow to split her soul in two giving half to Spike. A demon and a witch bound together on the Hellmouth, she without her whole soul to hamper her, allowed not only me to interact with her, but also opened her up to experience and tap into the darker side of her personality. Once she and I join forces her soul will depart completely leaving both her and Spike free. "  
  
"What does that mean?" Mr Trick persisted.  
  
"The Ascension," Allan said, an aura of darkness seemed t suddenly surround him, causing both Mayor Wilkins and Mr Trick to back away, "will release the power of the Hellmouth through Willow. And then my friends, the day of the demon dawns."


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

The air left Buffy's lungs in a rush and she grabbed at the stair rail to steady herself. For a brief moment the world came rushing in on her and the only sound was her own haggard breathing. As if in a dream she watched Willow descend the stairs and open the front door; the warm air of the night touched her face, the only indication that this was real; for Buffy could feel nothing else.

The door closed quietly as Willow left the house and Buffy turned slowly, her hands scrabbling along the railing for support as she sank down on the bottom step.

Her brain seemed to have turned to mush, she couldn't think straight, in fact, Buffy was pretty sure she wasn't thinking at all. She just sat there.

She had upset Willow even though she hadn't meant to, surely Willow had only said that about Angel to hurt her, to pay her back. Even as the thought drifted through her fuzzy mind, Buffy knew she was wrong. Since Willow had lost half her soul she had said a lot of hurtful things to her friends and as the feeling started to creep back into her numb body Buffy was forced to admit that as much as Willow's words could hurt, she had only spoken the truth and she had spoken the truth tonight.

Buffy's throat closed and her chest tightened. She rubbed at it with slow, mechanical movements startled when she heard a raw, desperate sound nearby. It took her a few moment to realise it was her making the noise and her cheeks were wet with tears.

Was she destined to lose everything; a chance of a normal life, the chance to grow old, her best friend and the man she loved?

XxX

Angel and Spike had moved from the kitchen to the living room. They each sat in a wing back chair with a chess board between them and a bottle of beer with a whiskey chaser beside them.

Spike took a swig of beer, eyeing the chess board for his next move. He had enjoyed chess when he was human, but had steered clear of it as much as he could since he was turned, just like he did everything else that reminded him of his human days. Cards and backgammon were more his style, and he liked a good video game these days too; the gorier the better so far as Spike was concerned.

Angel watched Spike wrap his lips around the top of the bottle, the neck hanging loosely from his fingers; a shiver ran down his spine, his eyes sliding out of focus as he imagined those lips on his cock instead.

Making his move and taking Angel's Knight out of play Spike asked, "You ever miss Ireland?"

Angel was startled out of his thoughts. "What?"

Spike pursed his lips before answering, "We ain't got no roots, ave we? I mean not really."

"Guess that's rather inevitable considering how old we are and how much we've moved around."

"Suppose."

"Where's this coming from anyway?" Angel was far from opposed to deep discussions with Spike, it wasn't something in which they had indulged in the past, although they had indulged in most other things. Oh he and Spike had talked, but somehow, deep and meaningful conversations had never been part of their relationship, they were usually too busy posturing and trying to one up each other.

"Just being with Willow lately, in the town where she grew up, in her childhood home, seein' her with her friends and her parents; just got me thinkin' is all."

Willow; Angel's brow furrowed and his eyes flashed. It was always all about Willow.

“I haven’t been back to Ireland in a long time. The Ireland where I was born, where I lived and died only exists in folk songs now.”

“Yeah," Spike lit up a cigarette. "Our lives, our homes; they’re lost in the sands of time. Now they’re just faded pages in a history book.”

Angel smiled and titled his beer in a toast. "You always had a way with words, Spike."

"Don't start with that bollocks again."

"Fair enough," Angel didn't want to annoy Spike to the point where he left the house. "Providing you don't bring up my singing again we've got a deal."

"No worries 'bout that. You're caterwaulin' is somethin' I'd like to forget all together."

"You used to sing now and again if I recall."

Spike shrugged. "Little ditties is all. Used to amuse Dru. You gonna make your move or what?"

Angel's lips curled into a small smile as he hunched over his knees to survey the board. "We never played chess much, did we?"

"Angelus didn't 'ave the patience, an' it's not really my cup of tea either."

"Played lots of other games though, didn't we."

"Nature of the demon, ain't it." Spike settled back in the chair his eyes on the ceiling. He looked so relaxed that Angel had the sudden urge to drop to his knees between Spike's feet, run his hands up the inside of his thighs, unzip those jeans and take Spike's cock in his mouth.

Fixing his eyes back on the chess board, he moved the Rook and took a steadying drink of beer.

"Chase it." Spike took a drink and they both knocked back a shot of whiskey.

Stifling a sigh, Angel cast about for some other topic of conversation. For reasons unknown Spike wouldn't be drawn into their intimate past. It made things a little more difficult to draw Spike in, but there was more than one way to skin a cat.

"You're not without roots you know, Spike. They're just different to what you would have had as a human."

Spike frowned. "How'd you mean?"

"There's not many vampires I've come across who lived the way we did, as a family unit. And no matter how dysfunctional we were, we were a family. You know where you come from, Spike, you can trace your bloodline back four generations, right back to The Master, not many vampires can say that."

"I guess."

"And, well, we're back together again now." Angel frowned when Spike merely nodded, he had rather hoped for a bit more excitement, maybe a smile. "It's not exactly like the old days, but that doesn't mean it can't still be good, and we did have a lot of good times, Spike."

"You were different then," Spike let out a sigh. "I was different 'en too. Got my girl now, don't I, an' I made her a promise I'd never 'ave made in the past."

Angel felt the sting of Spike's words. Willow had obviously made an impression on him, but surely it was only down to the fact they each had half of her soul. Someone like Willow, nice enough in her way but quiet and shy, the type who faded into the wallpaper was never the type of girl who would generally catch and hold Spike's attention.

"What sort of promise?"

"Not to kill."

Angel was shocked and it showed. "You what?" No-one had matched his soulless counterpart in killing and torture like Spike had. For a demon, and an undead one at that, Spike had always drunk fully from his victims and from life.

"She asked, I promised."

"Who've you been killing?" Angel demanded.

"You got wax in your ears, Peaches? I just told you, I made a promise to my girl not to kill."

"You're not known for keeping you're promises, Spike." Angel watched him carefully, his jealously surfacing at the way Spike's face softened before he spoke.

"I made a promise to a lady. I intend to keep it."

"Willow's soul has had quite the impact on you," Angel said.

"It's had an effect or two," Spike admitted grudgingly. "But I was raised to respect ladies."

Something spiteful flared to life inside Angel. "Maybe. But you've done some God damn terrible things to them too."

Spike stiffened. It was only the truth, but he really didn't want to hear it. Angel's words brought up dark memories that somehow twisted and turned inside his head and those nameless women changed to become Willow. The thought of Willow suffering as he had made those women suffer made Spike feel ill. It brought home to him just what he was; a demon. A violent, sadistic, soulless killer.

And it reminded him of what Willow was; human. Soft and warm and gentle.

He would ruin her, drag her into the gutter and destroy her. The light of her soul urged him to let go, but as the soul was not his own it didn't have a strong enough hold over him to really govern his actions. Willow was too good for him, but he would keep her anyway and because she loved him, and because she only had half her soul, she would continue to love him and gloss over his demon failings as and when it suited her.

"You're one to soddin' talk. You're the one who taught me the finer points of stalkin' a victim. Remember?"

"Yes I remember. And it fills me with shame."

Spike groaned. "You're not gonna start bangin' on 'bout redemption again are ya?"

"Not exactly," Angel said with a shake of his head.

He'd already had this conversation with Spike and Angel knew Spike wouldn't have the patience to go over old ground with him. Besides, he knew Spike well enough to know that as much as Spike liked to pretend otherwise there were still elements of human William inside him, such as the need to be needed, to be wanted, to be looked up to and appreciated. You didn't spend a century with someone and not get to know them inside out.

"I've been thinking about what you said, and I think you were right."

"About what?"

"The other day you said it didn't matter what I called myself, or whether I was human, a demon or a demon with a soul it's all one and the same thing. I've been thinking about it and you were right. My problem, as you so helpfully pointed out, is that I've been looking at it all wrong, separating out the different stages of my life, but it's still all me, isn't it? I mean, human, demon and soul; its all me at the end of the day."

"Pretty much, yeah. So, does this mean you're done with the broodin' or what?"

Before Angel had a chance to respond there was a sharp rap on the front door. They both looked up as the door opened and footsteps sounded in the hallway accompanied by a heartbeat. Willow's voice rang out and Angel scowled when Spike shot to his feet and headed to the door.

"In 'ere, love."

Willow smiled and crossed the hallway to meet him in the door. She reached up on tip toes to kiss his cheek. A pleased smile curled Spike's lips. "We should leave, Spike."

He blinked in surprise. "You only just got here. Why do you wanna leave?"

"Because Buffy will probably come here. Its best she doesn’t see you right now."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Took it that well did she?"

"I’d like to say its not all about you, but it kinda is, just not the way you think. There’s something I have to tell you,“ Willow paused and looked over his shoulder at Angel, perhaps it wasn't the best idea to tell Spike in front of Angel. She wasn't sure how either of them was going to react. “But I can’t, not in front of him.”

Spike never favoured Angel with a glance, he simply stroked her cheek with his knuckles. "Then we’ll go. Whatever you like, love."

Taking her hand Spike tugged her forward, Angel could do nothing but watch as Spike walked away, tucking Willow into his side as he did so; Angel completely forgotten.

They were only in the driveway when Buffy appeared. Willow let out a small groan, she had hoped to get Spike out of the firing line. "Don't provoke her," she warned quietly.

His eyes widened, a look of exaggerated innocence crossing his face. "Me?"

Buffy paused when she saw Spike. The sight of him inflamed the feelings of anger and betrayal. It didn't help that he looked so good. He wasn't her type, and she hadn't thought he was Angel's either; but Willow didn't lie.

"You!" Buffy's face flushed with anger. "Why did you have to come back here?!"

Spike's eyebrows raised. "Bugger off, Slayer."

Still brooding in his chair Angel looked up in surprise at the sound of Buffy's voice. She sounded livid. Jumping up he hurried outside to see what the commotion was all about. He arrived just in time to see Buffy take a swing at Spike.

Spike felt a feathered touch to his cheek where Buffy's fist connected; but nothing else. Buffy however felt as though her teeth had come loose and the taste blood filled her mouth. The pain was so intense it brought Buffy to her knees, the gravel of the driveway scraping her palms where her hands had shot out to save herself, and there wasn't just a throbbing in her cheek, but a pain like nothing she had experienced before spearing through her; squeezing her muscles, firing through her nerve endings and setting her bones on fire. She gasped with pain as tears came to her eyes; she felt as though she'd been crippled.

Spike grinned as he watched the Slayer panting and whimpering on the ground; the execution of the spell was even better than he imagined.

Confused and concerned to see Buffy writhing on the ground at Spike's feet, Angel stormed across the driveway. " Spike! What the hell have you done this time?"

Annoyed, Spike glared at him . "I 'aven't done anythin'. Why does everyone blame me for everythin'?"

"Because you’re usually to blame that’s why," Angel snapped crossly.

" Well I ain’t this time! I didn’t do anythin’, was just mindin’ my own business with my girl ‘ere an’ she attacks me."

It was in that moment Angel realised that Spike hadn't done anything to counter the attack, he had made no move to defend himself against Buffy. He knew Spike well enough to know that Spike knew what would happen to Buffy. He looked from Spike to Willow, neither of them showed any surprise at Buffy's condition.

Angel had a sudden frightening feeling of déjà vu. He couldn't help remembering his visit to the alternate Sunnydale where the other Spike and Willow had stood shoulder to shoulder, closed expressions on their faces, their eyes cold and detached to the suffering around them; just as they were now.

Unsettled, Angel turned his attention to Buffy, taking her arm and helping her to stand. Buffy was grateful for the support, she was still shaking from the pain, although it was starting to recede. She leant on Angel, the familiar feeling of comfort and safety washing over her at his nearness.

Oh surely Willow was wrong. Surely she had been mistaken over Angel's feelings.

"Well," Angel looked around him. "Is someone going to tell me what’s going on?"

To Angel's surprise it was Willow who answered him. "She knows, Angel. She knows the truth."

Angel cocked his head., a puzzled frown puckering his brow. "What truth?"

Willow eye's caught his, her voice startlingly cold. "The truth about Spike."

Buffy felt Angel stiffen and her breath clogged her throat.

"What about me?" Spike asked confused. "Hey, did you tell her what I told you about Angelus? That was private stuff, witch.”

A hurt looked crossed Willow's face. "I know that, Spike. I would never repeat anything you told me."

Relenting Spike nodded, his fingers stroking her hair. He knew she wouldn’t betray a confidence. "Sorry, love. Jumped to conclusions is all. You gonna tell me what I’ve done, ‘en? Looks like this is more than just you an’ me."

"You haven’t exactly done anything, Spike, except be you. That’s enough it seems."

Angel knew what was coming, but he couldn't see a way to stop it. Somehow Willow had discovered his secret and he had no idea how it could have happened, she hadn’t seen him and Spike together since the way she was in his kitchen and Angel was pretty sure Spike was still clueless.

Spike's brow furrowed. "Enough for what?"

Willow touched his cheek lightly. "Enough for Angel to love you."

Spike laughed shortly and shook his head. "You've got it wrong, love."

"No haven’t."

"Yeah," Spike insisted. "You ‘ave, love"

Willow shook her head. "I haven’t. He’s not even denying it, Spike."

"Oh bloody hell!" Spike threw his hands up, agitation making his shoulders tight." Nice one, pet. Why would you go an’ tell the Slayer somethin’ like that?"

Willow's lips pursed. "Because she deserves to know the truth. I know what its like to love someone who doesn’t love you back. It must be worse to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t love you back."

"We aren’t in a relationship," Angel pointed out.

Buffy felt her heart wither in her chest, a choking sound catching in her throat. He wasn't denying it. Angel wasn't denying it and he'd said.... she could hardly breathe.

Willow's heart went out to her friend. Buffy looked crushed, as though she were about to shrivel into a ball and collapse; Angel's arm the only thing holding her up. Her lips parted, but Willow could think of nothing to say, there were no words to undo the damage she had caused.

Running a hand through his hair, Spike caught hold of Willow's waist with the other, guiding her around Buffy and Angel. He figured it was best to beat a hasty retreat before the Slayer got a hold of herself.

"Wait!" Angel held a hand out to stop them. "What happened to Buffy? Why was she on the floor in so much pain?"

Buffy blinked, trying to clear her eyes and make herself focus on something else beside the unbearable ache in her chest. "Yes," she took a step away from Angel, squaring her shoulders. "What did happen to me?"

Spike grinned, "Let's just call it insurance, shall we?"

Angel's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Let's not."

"No," Buffy agreed. "Let's not. Lets say a lot more about it."

"I didn't trust you not to hurt Spike," Willow said. "So I cast a spell."

"She can't hurt him," Angel realised.

"Not so much as a scratch," Spike grinned. "Clever girl my Willow."

"Don't get cocky, Spike, I can still hurt you," Angel reminded him through grit teeth.

Spike's grin widened. "You can, but from what I hear, you won't."

Buffy just stood here, her mouth agape. She could barely believe it. Willow, her Willow, her best friend had cast a spell on her, on purpose; and not just any spell, one that would cripple her with unimaginable pain and render her helpless before a vampire like Spike; the Slayer of Slayers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45

 

Angel allowed Spike to lead Willow away, he wanted to avoid any further arguments if at all possible. Buffy couldn't get into it with Spike without getting hurt and Angel hated to admit it, but he didn't trust Willow not to use magic against him if he tried to interfere; although he wasn't sure exactly what he could do at the moment.

Buffy said nothing, she watched her best friend walk away, her eyes straining in the darkness for a glimpse of red hair, but Willow was long gone, melted away into the darkness. Buffy felt an odd sensation prickle over her skin, like her spidey senses were on overload.

"We should talk to Giles, shouldn't we?" Angel spoke quietly. "He might have a spell to counter Willow's."

"A spell to put her soul back would be better," Buffy said.

Angel smiled and touched her shoulder. "You've got a good heart, Buffy. I knew it from the first moment I saw you."

Buffy gave him a long look, searching his face for something beyond the fondness in his eyes; but she saw nothing further. She didn't find what she was looking for. That special Angel look was gone. Was it reserved for Spike now? Buffy's stomach cramped and lurched, she wasn't sure she wanted an answer to that question.

"Giles," Buffy stepped away from Angel and started walking towards the library. "He'll know what to do. And I need to warn Faith, she might have a spell on her too."

"It's possible," Angel agreed falling into step beside her. "But Willow's seemed rather friendly with Faith lately I can't see her doing that, what I mean is," Angel continued quickly when he saw Buffy flinch, "Faith hasn't threatened Spike in any way, has she?"

"Not that I'm aware of," Buffy admitted. She looked up at Angel, her face hard. "I guess its only real threats to Spike who get the witchy treatment."

Angel didn't respond, he allowed her the snide dig, she deserved to get in a shot or two of her own after the way she had found out about his change of heart. He should have been honest with her the moment he realised how he felt about Spike. Even if he and Buffy weren't in a relationship any more he had known she had loved him, and she loved him still. Love didn't just extinguish overnight, Buffy would hurt over tonight's revelations for some time, but it would pass. Angel frowned and rubbed at the back of his neck, it had to pass. For Buffy's sake.

XxX

Everyone was in the library when Buffy and Angel arrived a short time later. Cordelia was holding court perched on the edge of the table with her legs crossed to their best advantage talking about her holiday.

Xander was sitting with his chin in his hands, his eyes glued to Cordelia's bare legs.

Giles was hunched over a book and Faith sat slouched in a chair with her legs crossed at the ankles, her head tossed back and her eyes on the ceiling. She looked up when the door opened, her eyes narrowing as she took in the serious expression on Buffy's face.

"There was a Christmas tree in the lobby," Cordelia was saying. "The biggest one I've ever seen. The whole place was decorated for Christmas. Nothing tacky of course, it was all very tastefully done. I can't say I missed ...."

"We've got a problem."

Cordelia glared at Buffy. "Please continue. It's not as if I was in the middle of a sentence or anything."

"Problems take precedence over holiday's, Cordelia," Giles said closing the book and standing up. "What is it, Buffy?"

"Willow," Buffy let out a slow breath. "It's Willow."

"She's alright isn't she?" Xander jumped to his feet. "He hasn't hurt her has he? I swear I'll stake Spike myself if he has."

"Hum, because you did such a good job fighting with him the last time," Cordelia said with a roll of her eyes.

Buffy shook her head, "It's not Spike exactly. It's Willow, it's something she's done. I don't know if Spike put her up to it, but, well, I guess it doesn't matter if he did or not."

"What's she done?" Faith tried to keep her face as expressionless as possible, had B found out about Willow's new hobby of playing with people's memories?

Buffy shook her head once, still unable to believe the position her best friend had put her in. On purpose! "She...she's left me defenceless against Spike."

Xander stared at her bewildered, even Cordelia seemed at a loss of what to say to that statement. Giles coughed and cleared his throat and Faith's eyebrows drew together in confusion.

"I think," Giles said slowly, his eyes raking over his Slayer looking for an injury or some sign things were not as they should be. "You should explain in a little more detail, Buffy."

"She's cast a spell on me to stop me hurting Spike. Whatever I do to Spike I feel instead, and there's this pain, like nothing I've felt before, the kind of pain that goes right down to my bones until I can't think straight. I couldn't stay on my feet it was so bad."

"Willow's done that to you?" Xander's voice rose in disbelief . "No, not Wills. You've got it wrong, Buff."

"Willow told us herself," Angel said.

"Good God!" Giles whipped his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Xander looked from Giles to Buffy and back again. "It doesn't make sense. Why would she do that?"

"Guess she's just protecting the man she loves," Faith said.

"She's ...what?" Cordelia's mouth popped open in shock. "Willow and Spike?"

"I told you!" Xander yelled. "Didn't I tell you there was something going on."

"You were right," Buffy said, sinking down in the nearest chair. "She's told me all about it. She really believes she loves him."

Running a hand through his hair Giles leant back against the table. "Good God!" He was at a loss of what else he could say. He knew the kind of spell Buffy was talking about, he'd seen similar spells at work before, although he'd never cast such a spell himself. Giles hadn't realised that Willow was dabbling in such things. He knew she had a natural ability for magic, more so than he had ever had, and he knew she had to have a certain amount of power too, soul restoration was no small thing and neither was splitting her soul in two.

"Giles?" Xander really didn't like his tone, it made the fine hairs on his arms stand up to attention.

"Whilst I admit my ability with magic doesn't stand up to a natural born witch, I do know magic. The type of spell you're describing to me, Buffy, it's dark magic."

"Dark magic?" Buffy caught her bottom lip between her teeth, exchanging a worried look with Xander.

"Willow's not the type to practice dark magic," Xander said firmly.

"No," Giles agreed. "Not the Willow we know. However, the Willow we've seen lately is ...."

"Un-Willow-y Willow," Xander finished, his shoulders slumping.

"Quite," Giles nodded. "I'm afraid things are... well, turning out rather as I feared. Willow's not just tapping into her dark side, she's actively living it, allowing it to take over her."

Cordelia smoothed out her skirt a thoughtful look on her face. "What exactly does that mean? Should we all be worried about evil spells coming our way?"

"If I'm being quite honest, and in the interest of full disclosure; I wouldn't rule it out," Giles said.

"No!" Xander said, pushing violently away from the table, his long strides eating up the library floor as he walked around in a circle. "Willow would never ever do anything to hurt us! She's good, Giles. Better than all of us. She's not dark or bad or evil or anything like that. Willow doesn't have a bad bone in her body!"

"We all have darkness in us Xander, I've explained this to you already," Giles replied testily. "After Amy told us about the cloaking spell I was worried something like this might happen, and considering the way she's been acting lately I can't say I'm overly surprised. I hoped I was wrong, but it doesn't appear that I am."

"Yes you are!" Xander's face flushed with anger.

"I don't think he is," Angel spoke softly, the boy needed very careful handling where Willow was concerned. "You have to understand that the Willow we're talking about now, the Willow whose walking around out there isn't the same Willow you've always known. Who a person is with their soul isn't who they are without it."

Angel paused, his mind on Spike. William and Spike were a classic example of the difference a soul could make.

"She's still Willow," he continued gently, "She still has part of her soul, but without all of it she's susceptible to the dark side of human nature. That's not her fault..."

"You think I'm blaming Will's for this? This is all Spike's fault!" Xander snapped.

Angel held up a hand as a sign of surrender. "No-one is blaming Willow. I'm just trying to explain that's all."

"Angel's only saying what I was going to say," Giles placed a hand on Xander's shoulder to try and calm him. His eyes slid to Buffy, she looked pale and fraught and Giles heart went out to her; he knew Buffy well enough to know she was blaming herself for Willow's predicament.

"If I'd been there," Buffy muttered biting on the pad of her thumb. "If I'd been quicker in finding her then Willow wouldn't have had the chance to do the spell and this wouldn't be happening."

"If you'd have killed Spike last year it wouldn't be happening either," Cordelia pointed out.

Giles frowned. "That's not helping, Cordelia."

"No, she's right," Buffy buried her face in her hands for a moment, squeezing her eyes tightly shut to stem the threatening tears. "I made a deal with Spike and he went back on it. I should have known he would, he's a vampire, he can't be trusted and I should have known that. If I'd killed him like I should have, like a proper Slayer would have, then we wouldn't be here having this conversation."

"You can't blame yourself for that, Buff," Xander squatted at her feet and patted her knee comfortingly. "You had to get Angelus and Spike helped you do that."

"Xander' s right, Buffy," Giles agreed. "You did what you had to do to eliminate the biggest threat. Nobody blames you for that."

Cordelia's nose wrinkled, her eyes flashing with annoyance. Willow's life was going to the dogs and everyone was busy pandering to Buffy. Cordelia would admit she wasn't Willow's biggest fan or anything, but in the girls time of crises everything was still all about Buffy Summers.

Clearing his throat Angel ventured to speak again. He always felt nervous when they were all together like this, especially after Angelus' return and the hell he had put them all through. "There is one more thing I'd like to mention. It may be nothing, but it's been bothering me."

"Well?" Giles prompted.

"It's that demon Buffy fought, the Hansel and Gretel demon. Well, the way you said it worked is completely at odds with all the dead bodies..."

Buffy let out a frustrated groan. "For goodness sake! We aren't going over that again are we? I've already told you what happened."

"Well that's just it," Angel sounded just as frustrated. "Your account just doesn't add up. Especially when I see a pile of dead bodies and Spike standing there covered in blood."

"What exactly are you trying to say?" Giles polished his glasses on the hem of his shirt.

"I'm saying, well, I think..." Angel paused, unsure how to proceed and translate his thoughts into words. "I mean I don't know how exactly, but knowing the kind of magic Willow's capable of summoning, I think more went on that night than we know about."

"You think Willow used magic to defeat the demon?" Faith piped up at last, she really didn't like the way this conversation was going. "Is that such a bad thing?"

"If she did use magic on the demon it doesn't explain why Spike was covered in blood. I don't think it's as simple as that," Angel said. "I know Spike, I know what he's capable of and I know what people are like when they let the darkness take over. All I'm saying is that it doesn't add up, there's more to it."

"I admit I had the same feeling," Giles said. "But I don't know what we're missing."

"Who says we're missing anything?" Faith let out a sigh. "B told you what happened, right B? Maybe there's more than one way to kill that demon. Just because you hadn't come across it doesn't mean it doesn't exist."

"I suppose that's true," Giles agreed. "But I've been a Watcher long enough to know when something doesn't feel right; and I've been around magic enough to know when someone's going off the deep end. Whether Willow had anything to do with that demon or not, she deliberately left Buffy vulnerable to Spike's violence and whims. Something has to be done about this, for Willow's own good."

"What are you doing?" Coredelia asked, watching as Xander got to his feet a determined look on his face and rounded the counter.

Snatching up the phone and cradling it against his shoulder Xander retrieved a slip of paper from his wallet. "If we're gonna get Willow back then we're gonna need magic on our side. We're gonna need another witch. I'm calling Amy."

 

 


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46

Buffy sighed and rubbed at her forehead. It was a tricky situation but she felt she had to put Willow first. "I don’t like to involve anyone in our life unless I have too, but I think you’re right, Xan. I think we need a witch on side."

Giles winced and polished his glasses again. "I’m not looking forward to telling her…. Good Lord, do you suppose….?"

Buffy looked up, picking at a stray thread on the cuff of her sweater. "Suppose what?"

"The book," Giles said. "Amy’s book, could Willow have taken it?"

Xander scowled, annoyance flared in his eyes. "Oh, so not only is she evil now she’s a thief as well?" His fingers tightened on the receiver. How dare anyone say such things about Willow. She was as honest as the day was long.

"Oh no," Giles said quickly. "I’m not saying that."

" Sounds like you’re saying a whole lot about Wills," Xander snapped "But nobody’s bothered to mention Spike. Are we forgetting that he’s the reason all this is actually happening."

"No-one is saying Spike’s innocent in all of this," Buffy assured him, a brief scowl crossing her face "He’s the main problem."

Xander nodded, glad to see that at least one person in the room had some sense. "Let’s all try and remember that shall we, instead of blaming Willow for everything."

Angel could understand the boy's need to defend and protect Willow. He could appreciate the last thing Xander wanted or needed was to think he was losing his best friend; but he also didn't think it would help Willow if her friends buried their heads in the sand and refused to accept things the way they were. The sooner they found a way to extract Willow from Spike the better.

"For what it’s worth, I think you might be right, Giles, " Angel said. "If Willow’s looking to expand her magic she’ll need spell books, won’t she, and Amy’s book was sitting there for the taking."

Xander snorted. "It was probably Spike. He probably took the book and made her do that horrible spell on Buffy."

"I’m not saying Spike isn’t influencing her, he probably is," Angel admitted, "and that makes Willow more dangerous than I’d like to believe she ever could be. Spike’s evil, he does what he wants when he wants and he doesn’t care who he hurts in the process. He’ll get a big kick out of Willow hurting her friends, believe me; especially since he knows you won’t retaliate in a way that could seriously harm Willow."

Listening to Angel talk made Buffy feel a little ashamed of herself. She knew how Angel felt about Spike but he was not blind to Spike’s faults. Angel didn’t make excuses for Spike and Buffy knew she was guilty of doing that when it came to Angel.

"So," Faith sat up, hunching forward and clasping her hands together between her knees. "What exactly are we expecting Amy to do? Use some wicked hocus pocus and what….?"

Cordelia's nose wrinkled and she tucked her hair behind her ear. "Faith has a point. What exactly can Amy do without her books?"

"Well," Giles slipped his glasses back on. "I still have one of her books, and I’m sure Amy has a lot more at home, considering her mother was a practicing witch."

"Ok, fine, so Amy has books. What then?" Cordelia wanted to know. "We’ve been through every book you have and we haven’t found any way to put Willow’s soul back, if that’s what you were thinking Amy could do."

Getting to her feet Buffy began to pace, agitation in every line of her body. "There has to be a way to do it. There has to be!"

"I’m not saying there isn’t, I’m saying we don’t know what it is," Cordeila said.

Xander made a face, all this talking wasn't doing one bit of good. They were all going round and round in circles and not getting anywhere. "I’m dialling!" he called out in a sing song voice.

"Maybe I could try talking to Willow again?" Buffy suggested, giving Xander a distracted nod.

"And say what?"Faith asked. "Seems to me you talking to Red only pisses her off, why else would she have cast that spell on you? You said the wrong thing B, who knows what she’ll do if you say the wrong thing again."

Crushed, Buffy sank back into the chair. She hadn’t been able to help her friend and as much as it hurt Buffy had to admit Faith was right; she had said all the wrong things when it came to Willow.

"Perhaps Faith’s right, Buffy," Giles said softly. "Willow does seem rather opposed to you at the present time. We don’t want to antagonise the situation any further. Angel, if I may suggest something, perhaps you should monitor your behaviour around Spike, take care what you say to him and so forth. I’m concerned that Willow may, how shall we put it, interfere with your abilities too if she believes you are also a threat to Spike."

Faith grinned. "Wouldn’t want her taking everyone out of the game, would we. There’ll be no-one left to fight Spike."

Cordelia's eyes widened, a cold rush of fright washing down her back. "Do you think that’s what she’s doing? Taking out Spike’s opposition?"

Faith shook her head. "Nah, can’t see why she’d do that. If you ask me, she’s just trying to make sure you don’t hurt Spike."

A suspicious look crossed Buffy's face, she stared hard at Faith. "Do you know something you aren’t telling us?"

 

Could it be that Faith was closer to Willow than she had anticipated? The thought stung. She wanted to be there for Willow just as Willow had always been there for her; but after everything they had been through would Willow prefer to talk to Faith? Were Willow and Faith trading secrets?

Faith's eyebrows raised. "Like what?"

"I don’t know, anything," Buffy spoke sharply. "Something about Willow and Spike maybe?"

"Yeah, I know about Willow and Spike. You want the dirty details, B? Wanna know what Spike’s like in the sack, that it?"

Buffy’s lip curled in disgust. "No I certainly do not! That’s not what I meant and you know it."

Giles let out a sigh. "If you could try to take things seriously, Faith. We are rather in crises at the moment."

"Don’t think Willow sees it that way," Faith said.

"Perhaps not," Giles admitted. "Therefore we have to think clearly for her. If you are in possession of some information we are not privy to, would you kindly let us know."

Faith considered carefully. Willow wasn't going to be out of circulation for long, either Buffy or Xander were going to track her down and start harassing her under the guise of talking to her for her own good. Willow would tell them anyway, she might as well tell them. Maybe they'd back off a bit if they knew the truth, although Faith doubted it. Willow herself didn't trust them to abide by her wishes. "Well, there is one thing I do know. You aren’t gonna like it though."

Giles closed his eyes for a moment to steady himself. "Out with it."

"Willow doesn’t want you to put her soul back the way it was."

"Un-Willowy!" Xander exclaimed. " I’m so dialling Amy."

Cordelia gave him a surprised look. "I thought you did that five minutes ago."

"I couldn’t do that and listen to you all at the same time. Now I’m dialling." He waved the receiver around as he punched in the number Amy had left them for her aunt's house." See me dial."

Silence reigned in the library while he called. A woman answered and Xander asked to speak to Amy. It took a minute or two, but then Amy's voice came over the line and Xander felt himself relax. "It's me, Xander."

Amy's surprise was evident. "Oh, hi, Xander. What's up?"

Xander took his time to explain as best he could. "We need your help, Amy. We don't know what to do. I think we need a witch."

Buffy got up and went to stand beside Xander, leaning into him, trying to hear Amy on the other end of the phone. All she could hear was a muffled voice, she couldn't even say for certain it was Amy. She let out a frustrated sigh shifting her weight impatiently from one foot to the other. How had this happened? How had her best friend ended up in a situation she couldn't slay her out of? Buffy had never felt so useless.

"That's great. Thanks, Amy. See you soon." Xander hung up and rubbed his hands together. "Amy says she’ll cut her holiday short a few days and come home to help us. She says there isn’t anything she can do if she’s not in town. She doesn’t know what she can do, but she’s willing to help."

Buffy squeezed his shoulder. "Great job with the dialling, Xan."

Cordeila sighed. "There’s still the ever so tiny problem of not actually having a spell to put Willow’s soul back."

Angel watched Buffy's face fall, the one ray of hope she had drifting away as it occurred to her that even Amy's presence might not be enough to get her best friend back. He was just as irritated, the longer Willow remained all half -a- soul, the longer she remained with Spike. "I’ll hit the streets, see if I can find something."

"Haven’t you done that already?" Angel nodded and Cordelia continued, "Great, lets just go round in circles then instead of trying something new."

"I know the demon’s of Sunnydale haven’t been all that helpful so far," Angel admitted. "But I might have a way to break the wall of silence now. The vamps in town aren’t going to like Spike having a witch at his disposal. Witches can kill vampire’s from fifty yards if they want to. That’s not going to go down well with them."

A worried look crossed Buffy's face. "If you tell them that won’t they go after Willow?"

Angel shook his head. "Not with two slayers and Spike on her side. They’ll want her gone, and I’m offering a way to do it. If there’s any way to fix this and the demons know about it, I’ll get a lead."

"If they knew something wouldn't they have told you before?"

" Willow wasn’t a threat to them before, B," Faith pointed out.

"Exactly," Angel said. "I’ll see what I can find out."

Faith watched him leave, the doors swinging behind him. She got to her feet, itching to get out of the library herself. There were things that needed discussing."I’ll head out too, see if I can find Red and the evil Billy Idol."

XxX

The Bronze was packed out, they had a live band on stage, the front singer, a girl with turquoise hair, was gyrating against the stand of the microphone as she belted out a song.

Willow and Spike were up on the balcony, it had been a joint effort to secure it for themselves; Spike had taken his turn in scaring people away while Willow had tried her hand at a slightly different form of memory manipulation.

Pleased her spell had worked out, Willow now stood beside Spike while he lent against the railing watching the dancing below. She sent out small tendrils of magic to split the strobe lighting, turning the coloured dots to tiny snowflakes.

Spike smiled. "Right pretty that."

"And it's real, its not an illusion."

"That's my clever little witch." Catching her chin between his thumb and index finger, Spike kissed her softly. The light changed to deep blue, crackling across the room like forked lightening. "You know, I've never been inside you when you're castin'. Care to change that?"

Willow's breath caught in her throat, and in spite of everything that had already passed between them, colour washed into her face. He palmed her cheek, testing the heat with gentle fingers. "That a yes?"

She nodded, her eyes closing when he kissed her again, deep and full of promise. Her chest tightened when Spike shifted behind her, gathering her skirt in his hands and lifting it up the backs of her legs.

His mouth touched to her neck, fairly aching to taste every inch of her. Tugging lightly on her earlobe Spike groaned when his hand slipped between her legs; warm, wet Willow. Delicious. He took his time, stroking her open with languid movements, a smile curling his lips when she quivered, her fingers tightening their grip on the railing.

"Sweet, sweet girl." His voice was a rumble in her ear, one hand fitting comfortably on her hip as he slid inside her, the other seeking and finding her clitoris.

Willow moaned, her eyelashes fluttering as she pushed back against him, taking him in deeper. Spike squeezed her hip lightly. "That's the only one you're gettin'." He nuzzled her neck, nipping at the healing bite mark. "I like to take care of my girl."

The burning in the pit of her stomach, the fire raging to life through her veins were at complete odds with the way he was touching her; a slow, gentle motion of his hips, his cock filling her, sliding in deep and then retreating, his fingers stroking her and his lips feathering kisses along her neck.

She was panting, her fingers flexing on the railing and Spike saw the rail light up as the build up of magic in her was released. It ran down the railing turning the cool metal warm and golden, sparking here and there as the magic and the metal reacted.

"Go on, love. Cast a spell for me."

"Wh...what do you want?"

Willow felt the smile against her neck, his voice was low and dark in her ear. "Make 'em scream for me, pet. Drown out the sound of you screamin', eh?"

He punctuated his question with a deep thrust and Willow moaned, her eyes closing as she absorbed the sensation of Spike inside her.

It took her a few moments to gather her senses together, but Willow managed it; she let her magic out to play with a smile on her face.

Spike groaned, his face shifting the instant he felt her magic at work; a loving caress over his skin both calming and teasing the demon inside him. Yellow eyes glowing in the darkness, Spike watched the dance floor through the shimmering shield of magic that told him the hallucination spell was starting.

The sound of her heavy breathing and beating heart was distinct to him beneath the pounding of the music, but then he heard the first scream. He grinned, his fangs on display, the scent of fear and panic in the air.

"Brilliant, love."

People were pushing and shoving and rearing back, screaming and trying to scramble on tables and chairs and each other to get away from the snakes. They were everywhere, big ones, small ones, gigantic ones, slithering along the floor and the stage, hanging from the beams, curling around the bar, guarding the doors and windows with flickering tongues and bodies coiled ready to strike.

Willow pushed back against him again, desperation clawing at her. Spike stopped his movements, curling a hand around her throat and pulling her head back to rest against his shoulder. She was beautiful even in silhouette with the stark lights casting odd colours on her face.

"Now, baby, I told you. None of that."

She shuddered as his tongue painted her exposed throat. A moan wrenched from her as he pressed down on her clit. "Please, Spike."

"Course, love. Trust me." He began moving again, burying his face into her neck, catching the skin over her pulse, sucking gently.

The patrons of The Bronze were still screaming and Spike revelled in it. It had been a long time since he'd been inside the woman he loved feeding off the fear of the innocent. The fact that he was with Willow just seemed to heighten the experience, turned it into something else, something almost ethereal.

Then suddenly the fear kicked up a gear, the screams were getting louder and infinitely more terrified. Spike looked up licking his bottom lip. "Is it real?"

"N... no," she stammered, one arm coming back to curl around his neck, her nails digging into his flesh, an overwhelming sense of need causing her muscles to flex and clamp down around him.

"That's it love. That's my girl. Let it all out, baby."

Her magic was a sight to behold; her illusions something else. There was good reason for the shrieking and clamouring below, the face of each person had started to melt, the skin sliding off the bones, hanging off their cheeks like a boxer dog. It was a hideous sight, the strobe lights lending bizarre shadows and colours to the already unnatural scene.

The demon in him roared, relishing the terror, the hysteria, the utter frenzy below. It took all the control he had not to take her hard and fast, but keep his hips rocking slowly, building her up to let her explode with him.

Willow could hardly breathe, she couldn't take any more, her need was too great. Her inner muscles caught hold of his cock and squeezed hard as she came apart in his arms, her body arching back; her orgasm acting as a detonator for her magic.

Her magic rocked the room. Tables and chairs overturned, the speakers burst, the lights, the windows and the bottles and glasses behind the bar shattered into tiny shards, spraying the room. Willow's one hand still held the railing and Spike managed to stumbled back with her as it gave way, falling to the floor below them. The floor boards shook, curling up at the edges, the panels and paint peeling from the walls and the metal stairs buckled and twisted under the pressure of her magic.

"Bloody hell!" Spike was panting, his body warmer than it had ever been since he had turned. Covering her neck and cheek with kisses he reluctantly pulled his softening cock from inside her so he could turn her in his arms and kiss her thoroughly.

"Wow, Spike," she murmured when he let her up to breathe.

"Don't being to cover it, love." Spike kissed her again, he adored her mouth. "Do somethin' 'bout that racket will ya, pet? They've served their purpose."

Willow nodded, pressing tiny, close mouthed kisses to his lips and face. She let the spell lift, hardly noticing the stampede of people out the door when Spike's thumb was stroking beneath her eye.

"You're bloody gorgeous, pet." He loved her eyes, perfectly green they were, but when she let her magic take over they turned black; smooth, burning onyx staring back at him. It was enough to make him hard all over again.

She smiled. "So are you."

Spike chuckled. "I aim to please, baby."

XxX

Faith figured Willow and Spike were either at The Bronze or Willy's. She didn't think they'd go to Willow's house with her parents there.

She kept a brisk pace as she headed for The Bronze first, it was closer than Willy's. Faith knew she had made the right choice when she rounded the corner and saw a stream of screaming people almost trampling over each other to get out of The Bronze and into the street.

Pushing against the tide, Faith just about managed to get through the door. Her eyes widened and she stared around the destruction that had once been The Bronze. There was no doubt in her mind that Spike and Willow had something to do with it.

She stepped carefully over the broken chairs and tables, her boots crunching on the shattered glass. Her eyebrows lifted when she saw the stairs, all curled and twisted like a cork screw, but she couldn't see Spike and Willow anywhere.

"Willow!" Craning her neck and moving back against the wall she searched the upper level for any sign of life but it was too dark to see anything.

"You called?" Spike appeared at the edge of the upper floor.

"Is Willow with you?"

Willow arrived at Spike's shoulder, her fingers curling around his arm as she looked down at Faith. She looked very far away. Willow wasn't overly fond of heights. "What are you doing here, Faith?"

"We need to talk. B's told us all about your little spell."

Willow nodded. "Alright, I'll be right down." She turned to go down the steps and frowned, they were impassable. "Um, I'm not sure how to get down."

"Allow me, love." Spike scooped her up in his arms. "Get you down there quick as a wink, alright?" He dropped off the edge of the upper floor and landed smoothly, Willow safe in his embrace. He kissed her lightly and deposited her in a chair Faith had righted.

Faith made a face. "Yeah, 'cos I wasn't gonna sit there or anything." She picked up another chair and straddled it, resting her arms on the back.

Spike hopped up onto the stage, one foot resting on the edge and the other dangling as he lit a cigarette. "So, what's the other one bleating about now?"

"B told us all about the spell you put on her. Giles says its dark magic. That had everyone kicking off as you can image, and Xander decided to call in reinforcements."

"Reinforcements?" Willow asked confused. "What kind of reinforcement?"

"An Amy kind of reinforcement."

"Amy?" Willow was startled, she hadn't thought of Amy in ages. It had completely slipped her mind that at some point another witch was going to return to town. Her stomach dropped out of her, Willow knew Xander back to front and inside out. She knew what he was thinking. "He wants her to restore my soul, doesn't he?"

Faith nodded. "That's the general idea, yeah. I told them you didn't want it but..." she made a gesture and let out a sigh.

"They didn't care what I wanted."

"Not particularly."

"I told you," Willow said vehemently. "I told you they wouldn't give a damn about what I want."

"That you did, sweetness." Spike flicked the ash from his cigarette. "So, what's the plan?"

"Amy's cutting her holiday's short to come home to help out. Giles suspects you of stealing her book and Angel's jumped on the band wagon over that demon, reckons B's story doesn't add up because your vamp there was covered in blood."

Willow let out a breath, annoyance coursing through her. "Why do people have to stick their noses into everyone's business?"

"Human nature. It's always been the same, believe me," Spike said.

Faith looked from one to the other. "What did happen with the demon?"

Spike shrugged. "It died the same way we said, the Slayer killed it. I just 'appened to kill those people before it died. My girl was callin' for me an' those bloody gits weren't just in my way, they were tryin' to burn her at the stake."

Faith rubbed her temples and closed her eyes, perhaps she should have been shocked, but it was nothing more nor less than what she had expected. She was a Slayer, she should be after Spike's ass for this, and it wasn't just Willow and her magic that kept her at bay. Faith didn't necessarily agree with his methods but she did understand why Spike had done it. Love was weird. "Angel's gonna figure it out sooner or later."

"How can he? Buffy has a different memory, so far as she's concerned she's telling the truth," Willow said.

"I don't suppose Giles or Angel can do much if B's sticking to her story," Faith agreed.

"The Watcher and the Poof aren't the ones we need to worry about. It's this bloody witch who might cause problems. If you ask me, we ought to leave now."

Getting to her feet Willow went to stand beside Spike, placing a hand on his knee. "Leaving won't help, not if they're going to make Amy put my soul back. I don't need to be anywhere near her for her to do the spell."

"Bloody hell!" Spike threw his cigarette away and jumped to his feet. "What'll we do?"

"As Cordelia so helpfully pointed out, Amy can't do the spell without the actual spell, can she?" Faith reminded them. "And Willow has the spell tucked up nice and safe under her bed."

"If there's one version of the spell then there'll be another," Willow said. "It's just a matter of finding it. "

"They 'aven't done a good job of findin' it so far," Spike said, wrapping an arm around Willow's shoulders and kissing the top of her head. He hadn't thought of another copy of the spell. Bloody hell, if that bitch of a Slayer found the spell she'd get that other witch to cast it and he'd lose Willow.

"If it's out there, they'll find it," Willow predicted. "It's what they do."

"You'll 'ave to keep tabs on 'em, Faith," Spike said, "You'll 'ave to tell us what 'appens when that Amy gets 'ere."

Faith nodded. "So, what about you? Did you find anything out about the Ascension?"

Spike made a face. "I lost the books to the Mayor's lackey's, but I found out a bit about it."

Faith listened with interest as Spike caught her up on the Ascension. She found it both fascinating and rather frightening. The idea of a pure demon running around the town, if there was even a town left after the Ascension, didn't appeal to her at all. Now Spike's comments about leaving made sense, he intended to get Willow out of town before the Ascension kicked off. Perhaps he had the right idea. She might be a Slayer, but Faith's survival instinct was still strong and she included herself within its sphere.

"Well," Faith tucked her hair behind her ear. "Looks like we've got a date to rumble with the Mayor."

"I was going to tell Giles," Willow said, "But I don't really want to see him, or any of them right now. You'd better tell them, it might take the heat off us if they're busy trying to save the world. It might buy us some time," she glanced up at Spike. "Right?"

"Good thinkin'."

"I'd better go and patrol." Faith said, her mind was reeling, she had a lot to think about. She paused in the doorway clicking her fingers. "Oh, I forgot, Angel's hitting the demon community to try and find a way to sort your soul out. He reckons the demons of Sunnydale will start to get nervous knowing Spike's got a witch for a lover."

"Probably right," Spike agreed. "They can all sod off."

"I'll let you know if I hear anymore." Faith lifted her hand in a wave and left The Bronze.

The Ascension was worrying enough, but Amy coming home was taking priority in Faith's head. If Amy managed to put Willow's soul back, the risk of Willow crumbling under her guilt was an all too real possibility. If Willow opened her mouth and starting telling the truth about her favourite pass time of wiping and changing memories and decided to put things right then Buffy would soon remember the truth. Buffy would know that she, Faith, had killed a man.

Willow needed to stay as she was.

XxX

"The Ascension will keep them busy for a while, won't it, Spike?"

He smiled as Willow curled against his chest, her arms sliding up his back. She kissed his chin and his smiled deepened. This was the life he wanted, just him and his girl. Smoothing her hair back from her face Spike kissed her, softly at first, coaxing her lips apart and touching his tongue to hers.

Heat flared between them. Willow's hands fisted in the back of his coat and Spike's hands cradled her face gently, an erotic opposite to the hot, possessive kiss he gave her.

She sighed when he released her mouth, his thumbs tracing along her jaw. "I love you, Spike."

"How much?"

Willow looked at him quizzically. "More than anything. Why?"

"Enough to want to be with me forever?"

"Of course." Her arms tightened around him. "You're all I want, Spike."

When she was looking at him with those beautiful green eyes, shining with love and full of trust Spike could believe anything was possible and he ached for her. "What'll you do to keep us together?"

"Whatever needs doing. I promise, Spike, nobody is going to come between us."

He kissed her forehead. "You do realise that we've got a problem. You're friend Amy."

Willow's face fell. "I know. I'm hoping trying to stop the Ascension will knock us off the top of the list. They've put us second to other problems before now and they haven't been half as serious as the destruction of the whole town."

"Say it does, say they figure out how to stop the Ascension, what then? We're back to being the number one problem even if we've left town. They won't sit back an' let us live our lives, pet an' you know it. Until we find a way to make this permanent we need to make sure they can't interfere."

"But how, Spike? How do we do that?"

Spike's eyes met hers. "We'll 'ave to take out the witch."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47

 

Yawning, Faith pushed through the door into the library. As she had suspected, Giles was still there. He was sitting at the table hunched over a book. He looked up as she came through the door.

"Faith, I would have thought you would have gone home to bed by now."

"I'm going in a minute. I thought you'd want me to check in first. Willow asked me to pass on a message."

"Oh dear," Giles shoulders sagged, the way Willow was behaving lately a message from her was not altogether welcome. "Something of a threatening nature perhaps?"

Faith grinned and shook her head. "No. She wanted me to tell you about something goin' down with the demons."

"Which is?"

"Something called The Ascension. Spike found out about it."

"Did he indeed," Giles looked surprised. "It was good of him to let us know."

"Well," Faith's hands came to rest in the small of her back. "In spite of what everyone thinks, Spike does actually care about what happens to Willow and if the demons got something going down it can't be good for the rest of us, can it?"

"Point taken," Giles removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do we know what the Ascension is?"

"No." Faith figured the less information she gave him the more Giles would have to research which meant Willow would remain the second priority for longer.

Giles yawned. "Wonderful. Another needle to search for in the proverbial haystack."

Seeing Giles yawn caused Faith to yawn too. "I'm gonna crash. I'll swing in later, okay?"

"Yes of course. A Slayer needs plenty of rest. Go home, Faith. I'll handle things here." Giles waved her away as he got to his feet and headed into the back room.

Pursing her lips Faith trotted after him, watching as he put the kettle on, resting his hand on the counter top for a moment, head bent. "You should go home too. Get some sleep."

"In a little while," Giles said.

"It's not only Slayers who need to rest. You're no use to anybody if you’re falling asleep during research," she pointed out, desperate to prolong the research as much as possible. It was self serving and not very Slayerish to put herself before the town she was meant to protect, but Sunnydale already had one self-righteous Slayer, that was enough.

"You're right." Giles switched off the kettle. "I'll go home to bed and look at this with fresh eyes in a few hours. A Watcher needs to be firing on all cylinders of he's going to be any use to his Slayers."

She smiled. "Good plan, Giles."

 

XxX

The pink hue of dawn was colouring the horizon when Angel staggered home. Battered and bruised he made his slow way to the fridge desperate for some blood to help him heal, his cracked rib making every movement agony.

He didn't bother to wait to heat the blood but drunk it straight from the packet, gulping greedily. His night had not gone according to plan. In fact, if it hadn't been for Willy helping out, practically rolling him through the trap door and into the tunnels below the bar, Angel felt it was a pretty safe bet that he'd be blowing in the wind right about now.

With a groan, Angel left the kitchen and headed to the living room. He leant against the doorframe staring at the chess board, the half empty beer bottle and the abandoned shot glass; Spike had upped and left without a backward glance. Spike hadn't bothered to even say goodbye, he had just gone with Willow leaving Angel behind.

Angel sank into Spike's vacated chair, sniffing at the leather where Spike's scent lingered. Snatching up the whisky bottle he took a deep drink hoping to block out the pain; both physically and emotionally.

Was it too much to ask that Spike show some minor interest in him? They had such a history together, terrible and bloody it may be, but it was theirs. There were things he could only say to Spike and things Spike could only say to him; should Spike deem to tell Willow the truth it would break her and shatter the illusion of love she had for Spike. But he already knew all about Spike. Angel had seen Spike at his worst, he knew the truth of the demon and still he wanted to be with him; would Willow say the same? Once she was back to normal she would turn from Spike, the very nature of him would scare her and fill her with shame and disgust.

But not Angel; he understood Spike and yet he was still the one begging for some scrap of affection while Willow had everything he wanted.

Closing his eyes, Angel took a deep unnecessary breath through his nose; he could almost taste Spike and it just enflamed his misery.

He took another drink of whiskey and tried to force Spike from his mind. It was not an easy feat, especially since Angel had the nagging suspicion that Spike had something to do with the attitude of the demon community.

After leaving the library Angel had headed straight for Willy's. It was the best place to acquire information, as Buffy had discovered on numerous occasions. It was also a good place to start, what might amount to a panic in the demon community. Angel had counted on starting a panic; Spike with a powerful witch at his side would be a force to be reckoned with, he could own the demon's in Sunnydale if he played it right and have them all bend to his will.

Unfortunately for Angel, the demons had not taken his news the way he thought they would. Not one of them showed the slightest interest in helping to restore Willow's soul and get rid of the threat she and Spike posed. In fact, they had behaved the exact opposite to what he had envisioned. It was very clear to Angel from the way the patrons of Willy's had openly attacked him amid threats to stay away from both Willow and Spike, that they did not perceive Spike and Willow as any kind of threat. In fact, now that he thought about it the attack on him and been pretty vicious, zealous almost, as if the demons of Sunnydale were protecting both Spike and Willow.

Angel couldn't see why they would have cause to do that, unless Spike had promised them something.

He let out a groan; his body ached, his heart ached, his rib was sore and his nose was throbbing, he didn't need a headache on top of everything else. A good day's sleep was what he needed, let his body heal and look at the matter again with fresh eyes when he woke.

Wincing, Angel got out of the chair and ambled to the stairs, he was not looking forward to climbing them in his state.

Unbidden his eyes drifted down the hallway to Spike's bedroom door. He supposed it was too much to hope that Spike would return today. Angel turned away and headed for his room, he didn't want to think where Spike was right now and even less did he want to think about what he was doing.

 

XxX

 

At that moment Spike was lying in Willow's bed, one arm tucked under his head the other hand smoothing gently along Willow's back as she lay curled beside him, her head pillowed on his shoulder and her fingers dancing across his chest and stomach.

"You're quiet," she murmured.

"Thinkin' is all," Spike said. "Might be best to let me take care of the witch."

Willow let out a sigh, her warm breath ghosting across his bare skin causing his nipples to pebble. "Amy's the one on your mind?" she asked surprised.

"She's the threat. Best to eliminate a threat as soon as possible, baby."

"I just... well, I figured you might.... that Angel might be on your mind."

Spike snorted. "Just why would I 'ave Captain Forehead on my mind?"

Rolling her eyes Willow pushed herself onto her elbow and fixed Spike with a disbelieving look. "Well, if I'd found out that Angel was in love with me I think I'd be thinking about it."

Spike waved his hand and made a dismissive sound. "I'm a whim of his is all. Thing's aren't hunky dorey with the Slayer right now an' old Angel's 'aving a hankerin' for the past. A time when he was in control of his own fate. It's nothin'."

"Nothing." Willow's eyes flashed with anger. "Buffy's heart is broken. I don't call that nothing."

"Nobody forced you to tell her, love," Spike reminded her. His face softened at the distraught look in her eyes. Bringing his hand from behind his head he cupped her cheek, stroking his thumb beneath her eye. "You had good reason to tell her an' she'll get over it. I got over Dru, you got over the wolf, life moves on an' the Slayer'll realise that soon enough. Just needs a bit of time is all. Trust me."

"So you don't really believe Angel's feelings are nothing."

"They're nothin' to me, put it that way."

Sympathy for Buffy washed over Willow, that Spike could hold so cheaply what Buffy held so dear. She allowed him to draw her closer and kiss her. Willow's eyes drifted shut and she lost herself in lovely, delicious, spine-tingling Spike kisses.

"So long as you love me, that's all that matters."

Willow nodded and kissed him soundly. "I do, Spike."

"How'd you find out about it anyway?" Spike wondered. "Can't imagine you an' Peaches bondin' over ice cream or cookies or whatever you girls do."

Willow laughed at the mental image. "No. We didn't exactly do that. Angel didn't tell me. But how I found out brings me to something else I want to tell you about."

Spike groaned dramatically. "Don't tell me your boy Harris loves me too. I don't think I could take it."

She laughed again and shook her head. "Nothing like that. This is about Jessie. He used to be best friends with me and Xander but, well," her voice lowered and her eyes clouded. "He was turned and then Xander ended up staking him."

Smoothing her hair from her face Spike kissed her forehead lightly. "When was this, love?"

"At the time of The Harvest. After he was taken Buffy went looking for him, but she didn't make it in time. Xander followed her and they both nearly ended up dead."

"'m sorry about your friend. It's never easy loosing someone you care about."

She smiled, her eyes glinting excitedly. "But that's just it, Spike. I thought Jessie was gone for good too, but he's not. He's here. In Sunnydale. He visits me. Well, his sprit does. He's been helping me, helping us."

Spike stared stupidly at her. "I don't think I'm quite followin', pet."

"I can see him, Spike. I can see Jessie, and talk to him."

"You're seein' ghosts now?"

"No," she shook her head. "Not ghosts. Just the one. Just Jessie. He's been here, in my room talking with me."

Spike frowned, he remembered vividly what had happened the last time she had seen the ghost of a dead friend. She'd almost succeeded in opening the Hellmouth. Nothing like that had happened this time admittedly, but he was staying on red alert until he heard more.  

"Jessie says that I can only see him because my soul isn't creating such a blockage any more. He was on his own, Spike. Just him in the dark on his own. He says that he didn't go to a hell dimension like Angel did because he hadn't been a demon for long enough to do anything really bad and evil."

It didn't sound so farfetched, but Spike was uneasy. "How come I 'aven't met him?"

"He said you can’t see him," Willow admitted. "I can't see him either when you're around. Jessie says you cause a blockage. I'm so focused on you that I can't see him."

"Can't say I mind that," he winked at her, his tongue stealing along his bottom lip. Willow shivered in response and Spike's eyes darkened when her nipples hardened against his chest. His hand slid to the back of her neck. "You can drive a bloke crazy, love."

Her eyes closed as he moved closer. He kissed the corner of her mouth, his lips moving along her jaw to press to the spot just beneath her ear. Willow sighed, her head falling back as delightful shivers made their way over her skin and her fingers flexed on his chest.

Nuzzling her neck where her hair trapped her scent Spike spoke in a whisper soft voice. "Humm, you smell so good."

Sliding her arms around him Willow held him close, her fingers curling into the hair at the back of his head. A deep feeling of peace washed over him and Spike's eyes closed, content just to be close to her.

Kissing her neck and shoulder Spike finally emerged and settled back against the pillow, pulling her against him. "Tell me more about your friend, hum?" He still wasn't completely satisfied with what he had heard so far.

"Jessie's part of the reason I did that spell on Buffy. Obliviously I didn't want anything to happen to you and I didn't trust Buffy one bit, but Jessie helped me to see that the spell was the only way to keep you safe."

"How's that now?" When The First Evil had appeared masquerading as the dead gypsy it hadn't tried to help Willow, it had tried to highjack her magic to open the Hellmouth; this seemed different, but Spike wasn't willing to rule anything out quite yet.

She frowned, catching her lower lip between her teeth. Spike could feel her discomfort. "He told me what would happen to you if you die."

The look on her face told Spike he probably didn't want to know, but could it be any worse than what Angel had endured? Not wanting Willow to think of him as a coward, he asked. "Are you goin' to tell me?"

"He said there was a special kind of hell waiting for a demon like you. He might be wrong," she said quickly. "He's probably wrong."

"Doubt it, pet." Spike rubbed her arm lightly. "It's nothin' I 'aven't thought of since I found out Darla had died an' Angel went to hell."

Her grip on him tightened. "I don't want you to go to hell."

He chuckled. "Not in such a hurry to go there myself. Don't worry, love. With you on my side I'm invincible."

Willow made a face. "I think you give me too much credit."

"Not a bit of it. I know the kind of power you 'ave, you need to 'ave a little more faith in yourself. Pet, maybe you could ask your mate if I can meet him? If I'm open to it maybe I won't be a blockage anymore?"

"I guess it could work," Willow agreed. "I'll ask him when he next turns up."

"Can't you just ask him? Call him or somethin'?"

"It doesn't work like that," she smiled and shook her head. "I can't get in touch with Jessie, he just pops up. I don't know how to contact him. It's not a séance."

"Oh. Guess we'll 'ave to wait for him to turn up then."

She settled back down against him, her head going back to his shoulder. Silence filled the room as Spike considered the concept of Jessie's ghostly return. From what Willow told him there didn't seem to be anything to worry about, although he would like to see Jessie for himself and size up the situation; he still had that uneasy feeling.

 


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48

The table was piled high with books. Giles sipped at luke warm tea while Buffy tapped irritably at the computer; she just wasn't as good with them as Willow was no matter how much she tried. Faith glanced up from the book she was reading as Buffy huffed for what felt like the hundredth time in the last two minutes. She half wished B would just leave the computer alone and stick to the books, on the other hand it gave her a small sense of smug satisfaction to have found something perfect Buffy couldn't do.

Flipping the page Faith gave the next one a quick scan and made a face. Sitting around in a library was not her idea of a fun time. When she was at school Faith had never set foot in the library and now she felt as if she was there all the time and she didn't even go to this school. Who could have guessed she'd be back in a school? When Faith had walked out of her school gates for the last time she had sworn she'd never go back; and now here she was in a school library.

Unfortunately, she was rather stuck, not so much because she felt she had to be there to research, but because she had gotten herself mixed up with Willow and Spike and now she needed to make sure the others didn't find out about it. So long as she stayed in the loop where Amy and research were concerned Faith figured she'd be okay.

Her thoughts were put on hold when Xander arrived a newspaper tucked under his arm and carrying a box of doughnuts. "I come baring sugary treats and I have all kinds of news."

"Oooh yum," Buffy left the computer and reached eagerly for the box. "What kind of news?"

Xander took a seat at the table. "Well, firstly the deputy mayor is dead."

Selecting a glazed doughnut Buffy looked up surprised. "I didn’t even know there was a deputy Mayor."

Faith, who had sat up a little straighter in her chair relaxed; relieved there were no signs of recognition in Buffy.

"What happened? Was it demon related?" Giles asked.

Xander shrugged. "It doesn't look like it. The papers said he was stabbed, but he was found at the cemetery. I guess it could be demon related."

"I doesn’t have to be, just because he was found at the cemetery doesn’t mean he was killed there," Faith pointed out.

"That's true," Giles agreed. "May I see the paper, Xander? I'll read the article and see if anything seems suspicious."

"Nothing jumped out at me," Xander said handing the paper to Giles. "But I'm not a Watcher or down with the research like the G-Man, so I might have missed something."

Giles made a face a the nickname and unfolded the paper. The other three remained silent, watching him as he read the article. Finally he looked up. "It doesn’t look as though his death is connected to demons in any way. I'm afraid tragic accidents do happen. It is best to let the police do their job in this instance."

Buffy scowled and made a frustrated noise in the back of her throat. "Isn't there anything we can do to help?"

"Like what?" Faith asked. "You know the rules, B, Slayers don’t fight humans."

Buffy pouted, sometimes she felt it was a stupid rule; protecting the world and the people in it and that was her job after all. She let out a sigh. "So, Xan, what other news do you have? I hope its better news this time?"

Xander clapped his hands together and grinned. "I spoke to Amy this morning, she got an early train. She’s going to catch some z’s and then come over this evening to help."

Buffy perked up. "That is good news. Hopefully Willow will be back to normal soon."

Faith's smiled was strained. This was not good news for her, Willow or for Amy. She had no idea what Willow and Spike had planned to deal with Amy's arrival but Faith knew they'd come up with something. Amy's interference would not be tolerated by either of them. Catching her bottom lip between her teeth Faith's eyebrows drew together for a moment; she was going to have to warn Willow that Amy was already in town.

"Yep," Xander's grin deepened at such a lovely thought. "I also spoke to Oz late last night. He said that they’re cutting their gig short, Devon’s father has been taken into hospital. He’s okay, but Devon needs to be in Sunnydale so they’ll be back tomorrow and won’t be playing LA for New Year’s Eve like they planned."

For the first time in what felt like years, Buffy was hopeful. "Maybe having Oz around will help Willow."

"I don't see how," Faith said. "She did dump his ass for Spike.

"Its worth a shot," Buffy insisted. "You know, to have Oz and Willow spend time together."

Faith rolled her eyes and snorted. "Good luck in prying Willow away from Spike. If I were you B, I wouldn't interfere, Willow won’t be happy about it and who knows what she’ll do if you piss her off again."

Buffy scowled, her annoyance cranking up a few notches. She wished Faith would stop staying that, it made her feel like a bad friend and that she and willow were just growing further and further apart with no way to stop it.

"I think Faith has a point," Xander said quickly, not overly happy with the idea of Willow spending quality alone time with Oz. His face coloured when Faith gave him a knowing look. Maybe he was being a little bit selfish, but Willow had wanted him before either Oz or Spike had come on the scene but he had been too stupid to see it; to see her for what she really was. Didn't Willow deserve a chance at happiness with the guy she had always wanted? It was just lucky that guy happened to be him.

"All right then," Giles said, gathering their attention. "We'll concentrate on the Ascension this morning until Amy arrives and then we can discuss the matter of Willow with her and see what she has to say. Buffy, I'm afraid I must also agree with Faith, please try not to do anything to aggravate the situation where Willow is concerned."

Buffy's teeth clenched. She reluctantly agreed and returned to the computer to settle down and research. She found it hard to concentrate however, and kept glancing up at Faith, annoyed that Faith seems to know more about her best friend than she did. She had a weird feeling, not so much her spidey senses, it was something Buffy couldn't quite put her finger on; but for some reason she just didn't trust Faith. There was something equally strong as her spidey senses telling her that Faith knew more than she was letting on.

Even thought Buffy knew it was completely irrational; she still trusted that gut instinct.

"Faith did you know about the spell Willow put on me?"

Faith looked surprised by the question. "No."

For reasons she couldn't explain Buffy wasn't satisfied. "Did Willow put a spell on you?"

"Not that she know of, but I don't go around threatening Spike."

"I think I'm justified in threatening Spike," Buffy replied testily. "He _is_ a vampire, I'm the Slayer and I want to protect Willow. She's my best friend."

Faith merely shrugged. "Seems to me Willow's managing to protect herself just fine without your help, B."

Buffy didn't respond, she was too bust noticing that Faith didn't seem concerned that Willow might case a similar spell on her; again Buffy had that feeling there was something going on that she was not aware of.

Silence reigned for a while until Faith stood up, her chair scraping nosily against the wooden floor and announced she was going to get some chips and left the library.

Buffy watched her leave through narrowed eyes. She suddenly jumped to her feet and scurried from the library, ignoring Xander calling after her. Buffy crept down the corridor towards the canteen her ears straining for the sound of Faith's voice, Buffy simply didn’t trust her not to warn Willow about Amy’s arrival. Just why Faith would give Willow the heads up Buffy couldn't quite say; it was just a nagging feeling she had. That and the nervous sensation that worked its way up and down her spine as she wondered what Willow's reaction would be.

Buffy wasn't the only one with Slayer senses, Faith was aware that Buffy was behind her and she silently cursed the other girl. Now she couldn’t call Willow as she had planned. Instead she headed to the vending machine and stared crossly at the neat rows of chips while she dug about in her pocket for some change. She could always try again in a little while.

Buffy watched Faith go to the vending machines and began to feel a little ashamed of herself and the ridiculous way she was behaving. Just because she felt betrayed by Angel and Willow didn’t mean there was some sort of conspiracy going on around her. Feeling like a snoop Buffy quickly ducked into a nearby classroom to avoid being seen by Faith when she started back to the library.

Standing in the empty classroom listening for Faith's feet passing in the corridor outside Buffy felt terribly alone. She missed Willow and Angel. Wrapping her arms around herself Buffy squeezed her eyes tightly shut; she just wanted things back the way they were.

XxX

 

It was hours later when the phone rang at Willow's house. Her parents had gone out during the morning to deal with the transfer of their respective clients to another practice and Willow had eaten breakfast and then returned to bed where Spike still slept.

He was lying with his cheek on her hip and his arm curled around her waist. How he could possibly be comfortably Willow didn't know, but she liked having him close to her. He made her feel all safe and warm. Which was weird because he wasn't warm at all, he picked up her body heat given enough time but he never warmed to the same temperature as a human.

Spike groaned, his cheek rubbing against her hip.

Willow smiled and put down the magic book she was reading. Smoothing Spike's hair with one hand she plucked the phone out of the cradle with the other. "Hello?"

"Red, it's me, Faith."

"Oh hi. How's it going?"

"Not five by five," Faith said heaving a long suffering sigh. "Amy's back in town, she's coming to the library this evening and Oz will be back tomorrow."

It was Willow's turn to sigh. "Oz? Why is he coming home? He's supposed to have a gig in LA on New Year's Eve." She listened as Faith explained about Devon's father. "Oh, that is bad news. Poor Devon." Faith then let her know what Giles had said about Allan Finch's death and Willow felt her shoulders relax. It was good to know that Buffy's memory remained in its altered state; with Buffy having her own sort of supernatural powers Willow hadn't been entirely sure her spell would take root.

"I've gotta get back to the library, I don't want B following me again. Besides, I've gotta hit the streets pretty soon. Patrol."

"Alright, we'll talk later. Stay safe, Faith."

"You know me, super safe Slayer. Later, Red."

"She was full of news," Spike said, trailing cool fingertips along her inner thigh. Amy's arrival didn't worry him, she would hardly be the first person he'd killed, but he was less than impressed to hear the wolf was coming back. Spike hadn't really given Oz much thought since he had left town and he was in no hurry to have him back again.

"It's good of her to keep us in the loop, huh?"

Spike smiled and chuckled. "It's not entirely selfless, love. She's got her own reasons for helpin' us. She killed a man remember?"

"That was an accident, Spike."

"Not sayin' it wasn't. But she killed him an' had you erase the Slayer's memory of it. That won't go down well with the little do-gooders now will it?"

"No," Willow admitted.

Spike yawned and scrubbed at his eyes. He watched Willow as she put the magic book on the bedside table marking her page; she was wearing his red shirt, it was too big for her and the cuffs hung adorably over her fingers. Pushing the shirt up over her hip Spike pressed his lips to her warm skin. "Fancy a shag pet?"

She laughed. "That would be nice, Spike. But we've got things to do tonight. We've got to deal with Amy and you have to speak to Angel."

Spike was aghast. "Angel? Why?" The poof was the last person he wanted to see.

Willow's lips pursed. "I think you should clear the air with him."

"Oh," Spike made a dismissive noise. "What's the point? Once we've dealt with the witch and your parents 'ave left we'll be outta 'ere anyway. I can avoid him until then."

"That's not very nice, Spike..."

He responded instantly. "Demon."

Willow sighed. "I know what its like to love someone who doesn't love you back, Spike. I feel sorry for Angel." She frowned and looked at him closely; his face was closed and tight and his jaw clenched. "Spike? Are you alright?"

"Fine." Spike sat up and ruffled his hair. "I don't think talkin' with him is gonna help, love. Best to let sleepin' dogs lie. He'll get over it. He'd lived without me long enough."

"It's up to you, Spike," she agreed. "Whatever you think is best." Sitting up she slipped her arms around his neck and kissed him gently.

Spike smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I'll tell you what, I'll hop in the shower an' 'en pop out an' sort your surprise out, hum?"

"Surprise?"Willow's eyes lit up. "What sort of surprise?"

Laughing he got out of bed. "If I told you it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?" He figured he'd deal with the little witch while he was out too, but he didn't want to tell Willow that and have her fret about it.

Willow watched him cross the room, completely unaffected by his nakedness; unlike her who was getting all hot and bothered at the mere sight of him. She refrained from calling him back to bed at that very moment; they did have things to do tonight and besides, the night was still young, there was plenty of time to be with Spike.

While he was in the shower she changed out of his shirt and into a robe, taking some time to go through her closet and chose an outfit he hadn't seen yet.

Spike returned a few minutes later and got dressed. "I won't be long, baby." He drew Willow into his arms and kissed her. Willow's eyes drifted shut, her lips parting invitingly. Spike's tongue touched hers and her arms slipped around his neck, her fingers curling into the soft hair at his nape. He nibbled lightly on her lower lip. "Could kiss you for hours."

Her lips curled against his. "I wouldn't say no to that."

Hands cupping her face he stroked the corner of her mouth with his thumb. "Later, hum? Just you an' me an' the stars?"

Her tongue came out to swipe at the pad of his thumb. "Is that the surprise?"

His lips did that half smile, half smirk thing that turned her knees to water. "Maybe." He kissed her nose. "You'll find out."

Her arms tightened around his neck and she moved closer to him. "Not soon enough." Pressing her lips to his she kissed him hard and hungry.

Spike groaned quietly. "Gonna fuck you later, baby." His hands dropped to her behind, pulling her closer so he could rub his growing erection between her legs. "Wanna be inside you. Wanna feel your warm, wet cunt wrapped around my cock."

She made that same sound she had the first time he had spoken to her this way, a mixture of shock and desire and Spike's entire body surged in response. He kissed her again, devouring her mouth with an intensity that left her breathless.

Finally he let her go, if he didn't Spike knew they'd never get out of the house. There was time for this later just as he had planned. "I'll see you soon, baby."

"Yes," she murmured dreamily. "Don't be too long, Spike."

"You'll hardly know I'm gone."

"Oh I'll know you're gone alright."

He smiled and opened the windows. "Love you, baby."

"Love you more." Her eyes shimmered in the light and Spike's chest tightened. Even Dru had never said she loved him more.

Once Spike left Willow horridly dressed and re-checked the spell book one last time, she wanted to ensure she got the spell perfect. Who knew what kind of mess she'd make if she didn't. Leaving the house Willow walked swiftly down the street hoping that Spike would go to Angel's or to do whatever he had to do with regards to her surprise before he went to Amy's.

Amy had been weighing on her mind all day. They had to stop her from bringing her magic into the equation and as she was Amy's friend Willow felt it should fall on her to do it rather than Spike.

The light was on at Amy's house when Willow arrived and there was no sign of Spike. Perhaps she should have waited for Spike or asked him to come along with her, it would feel better right around now if she had Spike with her.

"Don't get scared, Wills." Jessie popped up at her shoulder and accompanied her to Amy's front door. "You can do this."

"Hey Jessie," Willow relaxed a little. It was funny, but his sudden arrival didn't make her jump the way it had in the past. "I'm glad you're here. I need a friend right now."

"Oh you don't need me, not really," Jessie said. "You'll do whatever you need to do, you know, for Spike's sake."

"Oh yes," Willow said knocking firmly on the front door. "For Spike I can do anything."

Amy opened the door a moment or two later, her eyes going wide and a cold chill sweeping down her back when she came face to face with Willow; a Willow with eyes as black as the night and freaky little black veins spearing from them like spider legs.

"W...Willow!"

"You should have stayed out of it, Amy. This doesn't concern you." Willow could feel her magic moving through her veins, the words of the spell swirling around her head; she didn't need to speak them out loud even for a spell she had never cast before.

Amy could feel Willow's magic, a strong, powerful force surrounding her, something she hadn't been expecting and had no chance to counter act; if she could even fight against magic so powerful. It struck her with such violence Amy was pushed backwards into the wall, the breath knocked out of her.

Something wasn't right and Amy knew it; her body felt all out of whack. Something was happening to her, something she was powerless to resist. The world came rushing in on her, a nauseating feeling washing over her. Amy remembered nothing more.

Willow looked down at the small brown rat at her feet. It squeaked and scuttled away into the house.

Letting out a sigh Willow shut the door and stepped back. "There. All sorted."

"That's one way of doing it," Jessie agreed. "But I thought Spike was going to get rid of her?"

She shrugged. "It doesn't matter, does it? So long as it's done."

"I guess so." Jessie eyed her, a sly smile curling his lips. "How do you feel?"

"Strong. Powerful." She looked at Jessie her eyes flashing. "Like I can do anything."

"Not yet, but nearly. You're pretty powerful, Wills but you're not as powerful as you could be. Witches can have great power, but its always limited. If you had an unlimited source of magic no witch could touch you. Sound good?"

"Sounds good," she agreed her voice as well as her body deeply infused with magic.

"Come with me, Wills." Jessie smiled again. "It's time for you to be what you were born to be."

 

 

 


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49

Willow really did have an effect on him, Spike mused as he turned into the driveway to Angel's place. He hadn't intended on speaking to Angel at all, rather he had intended to avoid the poof at all costs; but Willow's sad, wistful expression came to mind when she told him she had experienced unrequited love and he had buckled. She felt sorry for Angel and Spike didn't want her fretting about the Souled Wonder.

He supposed that he didn't really have much room to call Angel by that little nick name any more now that he had half a soul; but Spike wasn't about to stop irritating Angel.

Willow hadn't told him just who it was who was fool enough not to love her back. Obviously it wasn't the soon-to-arrive wolf, and Spike couldn't help wondering. Not that he blamed her for not wanting to share those painful memories, he didn't really want to tell her about Cecily's rejection of him either.

When he entered the house Spike found Angel in the kitchen, fingers tapping on the counter as he waited for the micro wave to finish counting down. He looked up when Spike appeared in the doorway. A small jolt went through him and Angel fought to hide his excitement at Spike returning home. It said a lot, Angel thought, that he had unconsciously been thinking of him and Spike sharing a home together.

"I wasn't expecting you back."

"Weren't expectin' to be back," Spike admitted. Propping himself against the door frame he eyed Angel's battered face curiously. "What 'appened to you?"

"I was attacked at Willy's."

Spike's head bobbed once. "Slayer didn't do it 'en?"

Angel frowned. "No. Buffy wouldn't do that."

"Woman scorned an' all that rot."

The mirco wave beeped and Angel turned his back on Spike to finish preparing his meal. He hated to admit it even to himself, but he was slightly unnerved having Spike mention recent events. At the time Spike had certainly shown no interest in him at all and Angel knew Spike well enough to know he wouldn't have changed his mind so quickly; which meant Spike had another reason for being here.

Sipping his mug of blood Angel stared hard at Spike, searching for some sort of clue as to what was going through his head. "Why are you here, Spike?"

"Willow," Spike said simply. He rolled his eyes and snorted when Angel flinched. "Oh come off it, Peaches, you couldn't possibly 'ave thought I wanted to come an' see you. Willow was concerned 'bout you, she figures we should talk."

"Doesn't seem to me there's much to talk about," Angel spoke sharply. "You've made yourself quite clear, Spike."

"Yeah." Spike scuffed the toe of his boot against the kitchen floor. He was suddenly spun back a hundred years and he was human and he was William and he was standing before Cecily stammering and stuttering his way through a poem he had written just for her; to express the true depth of his love and affection. Everyone had laughed and ridiculed him. Cecily had snubbed him and informed him that he was beneath her.

It had hurt in ways William had not experienced before. The pain as fresh now a hundred years later as it was then. The wound just as raw.

Willow was balm to his injured heart in a way even Drusilla had never been. While Drusilla wouldn't necessarily put Angelus first, she wasn't quite able to resist him either and Spike's feelings wouldn't always enter into the equation.

There was a part of Spike which enjoyed rejecting Angel, letting Angel feel a fraction of the misery his soul-less counterpart had visited on Spike over the years; but at the same time there was another part of Spike which felt for him in much the same way Willow did.

"You took me by surprise," Spike said at last.

Angel smiled wanly. "Took me by surprise too. You were the last thing I was expecting to happen."

"It's not like I planned for Willow an' her soul either," Spike said.

"You plan? You see a plan through to the end? When has that ever happened? You're far too impatient."

Spike grinned. "Guess I've been known to jump in feet first."

"That's because you're passionate about everything you do. You enjoy life. I don't think I've ever been like that."

"Not true," Spike shook his head. "You were always real passionate about nuns. Nuns were your thing."

Angel frowned, a look of disgust curling his lip. "Lets not get into that."

Spike shrugged. "Just sayin' is all. When you were human you were passionate about alcohol an' shaggin'. It's just your soul that's miserable."

"Could you sound any more patronising?"

"You know what I think 'bout the broodin'. Besides, you said you weren't gonna do it any more. Crackin' a smile ain't gonna kill you."

Angel gave him a long look. "There's not much to smile about at the moment."

Rubbing the back of his neck Spike dropped his eyes to the floor unsure of what to say. He hadn't been in this position before and Willow's forlorn expression kept drifting behind his eyes and William's broken heart kept picking at his own dead heart stopping him from saying something particularly cold and cutting. He couldn't even bring himself to walk away.

"Spike, you can't seriously think that this relationship with Willow is a plausible long-term thing? At some point Buffy and the others are going to find a way to reverse the spell Willow cast and put her soul back the way it should be. Once she's human again she'll look at you and see Spike The Slayer of Slayer's. The vampire who kidnapped her. The demon she and her friends spent a year fighting against. The soulless killer who tortured his victims with rail road spikes. What she's been doing, what she's done with you will destroy her. Spike, when she looks at you she'll see everything she hates in herself. She won't want you anywhere near her. Willow, the real Willow, could never know the real you; knowing you would shatter her."

Angel made a useless gesture. "I know you, Spike. I know you inside out and back to front. I'm not broken."

Spike glared at Angel, his temper flaring hot and violent in his blood. "You know what your problem is? You're too bloody used to being centre of attention."

"What?" Angel's eyes went wide with surprise.

"You've always had women fawin' all over you; from Darla to Dru to the soddin' Slayer. You've always been wanted. You've never had someone in your life who meant the whole bloody world to you only to find out that for them, it was never gonna be you and now you 'ave you don't know how to deal with it; you think its all one big mistake an' I'll come to my senses an' just suddenly want you. Well I won't."

Spinning on his heel Spike stalked to the front door. Angel wasn't about to let him walk away. Pushing his mug onto the counter Angel hurried after Spike.

"I'm only trying to help, Spike."

"No you're not!" Spike raged, his eyes shifting to that strange mixture of blue and the yellow of his demon. "You're tryin' to come between me an' Willow. Well it ain't gonna work. She's mine an' I'm hers an' that's the way it is. Nothin' you can say is gonna change it."

"What I said was the truth, nothing more and nothing less and deep down you know that."

"Deep down inside," Spike hit himself in the chest, his face shifting from its human facade to the true face of his demon. "I know you're jealous, and I know what's goin' on in your head better than you do."

"No you don't!" Angel could feel his own temper beginning to fray. He had hoped for a chance to talk to Spike but this was not the way he had envisaged the conversation going.

"Yeah, Peaches, I do. 'Cos I'm more in tune with the demon than you are. You've spent so long tryin' not to be a demon that you don't even notice when you start playin' demonic games. You're tryin' to twist my relationship with Willow an' break me down an' en you'll be there to pick up the pieces. Well it ain't gonna 'appen." His eyes clashed with Angel's, his voice dropping to a promise. "I'll kill you first."

Angel took a step back, the quietness of Spike's voice taking him off guard. Still the demonic part of him surged to fight, to make Spike submit.

Spike suddenly gasped, his eyes going wide as he grabbed the wall to steady himself. Willow's soul was very much alive inside him. It felt as though it were straining and bucking like wild stallion.

That bloody bitch of a Slayer! She had that other witch trying to put Willow's soul back together. Spike growled. He was going to rip the bitches throat out and bathe in her blood.

An icy cold feeling swamped him, knocking Spike off balance and he staggered slightly, clutching at the wall again.

"Spike!" Angel was at his side, hands patting at Spike's arms and back. "What is it?"

"Not sure." Spike grit his teeth and tried to push the feeling away, but it only got stronger. This wasn't Willow's magic at work and Spike knew it. Somehow he knew it wasn't the Slayer's new pet witch either; it was too strong, too intense, too dark to be a teenage girl. Even when Willow had been at her darkest her magic wasn't like this.

There was something very wrong with Willow and Spike knew it. He wasn't sure what it could be, but he didn't like it. Gaining control of his balance, holding on to Angel for a fraction of a second just to make sure he was steady on his feet. "Willow. Got to get to Willow."

"Willow? Why? What's happened?" Angel demanded. "Is she in trouble?"

"Yeah." Spike was out the door and Angel followed him. "Don't ask me what's 'appened cos I don't know. But something's 'appened. Somethin' bad."

"Bad?" Angel asked worriedly. "Why does it always have to be bad?"

"What do you care?"

"I care," Angel assured him. "She gave me back my soul. I care. Nothing's going to happen to her, Spike. Whatever it is, we'll sort it."

Spike hated to admit it but he felt better having Angel at his side as he headed into the unknown to help the woman he loved. If nothing else, he had missed the sense of camaraderie he felt with Angelus.

Angel said nothing more. He didn't ask how Spike knew Willow was in trouble. He wasn't sure he wanted to know how connected they were. As they moved swiftly down the dark street Angel felt an affinity with Spike he hadn't felt in a long time; not even when he went into battle with Buffy.

He could feel the tension in Spike; his fear for Willow communicating itself easily to another vampire. Angel couldn't help the feeling of jealousy in his gut; it was hard loving someone whose heart belonged to another. Spike had been right, this wasn't a feeling he had experience before; Angel made a face, he didn't much care for it.

Angel knew he and Spike and fought before and much more fiercely than they had this night. They had gotten over their disputes and moved on from them and he knew they would move on from this at some point and they would settle back into their uneasy friendship.

Angel's chest tightened, he knew in his heart of hearts that friendship was what he should shoot for. If everything with Willow remained status quo Spike would be easy enough to get along with if he stayed in Sunnydale, but if something happened to Willow, if she left him or if she died Spike would lash out in spectacular style and the streets of Sunnydale would run red with blood.

Angel found himself praying to a deity he had forsaken that Willow would survive whatever trouble she found herself in.

 


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50

"Where are we going?" Angel wanted to know.

"To Willow." Spike's response was coloured with exasperation.

"I know that. I mean, where is she?"

"Not sure."

"Well where the hell are we going?" Angel demanded. "Are we supposed to just wander the streets until we stumble across her?"

"I can find her," Spike assured him. He wasn't sure how it worked, Spike couldn't say where she was but he knew he could get to her. He felt her, in a way he hadn't done so far. It wasn't just her soul he could feel, but the darkness too and it frightened him.

All he knew was that he needed to find Willow. Only when he saw her would Spike feel something other than this all consuming dread.

They rounded a corner coming to a fork in the road. Spike paused, Angel, who hadn’t expected him to stop kept going for a few paces before spinning back on his heel. He didn’t say anything, he just watched Spike curiously as the other vampire stared down the dark suburban street before twisting the other way and frowning down the long, deserted road.

It was odd, Spike felt Willow’s presence, her magic more than anything else and it was strong. Although not so strong that he felt she was still nearby; but she had been here and she had cast a spell. There was no way Spike could explain how he knew this. It was just something he felt deep inside of him like an instinct, and he trusted it. Spike had always trusted his instincts and they’d never led him astray in over a hundred years.

“Spike?”

“She was ‘ere. Willow was ‘ere.”

“How long ago?” Angel was all business as he usually was when someone was in trouble. The time for emotions was past, he had a sort of friend, sort of love rival to save, and that was more important. Everything that had happened lately was not Willow’s fault, including Spike falling in love with her. It was, as Cordelia had pointed out, Spike’s fault; and Angel, no matter how he felt about Spike, would not allow the innocent to suffer and pay for Spike’s misdeeds.

“Not long,” Spike said, “But she’s not close either. She’s been doin’ magic.”

Angel didn’t want to ask. He didn’t want to associate Willow, the girl who had generously risked her life to give him back his soul, with anything other than light and goodness. “Dark magic?”

Spike frowned. “Not really. Just magic.” The street name was fixed to the wall on a metal plaque; when he caught sight of it Spike knew what happened. He knew this street, he had intended to call here himself and rid the Slayer of a witch. Willow had been here before him. A feeling of unease washed down Spike’s back.

Angel found he couldn’t relax. If the darkness Spike felt was not Willow’s own magic it could only mean the magic came from another source. Something dark and evil had Willow and that was just as terrifying. Angel could tell from the look on Spike’s face and his flickering eyes that Spike had the same thought. “Well, off you go,” Angel waved his arm, encompassing the surrounding area. “You’re the blood hound.”

Spike glared at him. “I’m not sniffin’ her out, I’m… oh never mind. It’s this way.” He started off again at a run, Angel at his side.

“Exactly what are you doing?” Angel asked. “What sort of connection is it?” It would pain him to know the answer, but all information was relevant if Willow was to be saved.

Spike hopped up a curb and rounded a corner silently cursing himself for bolting from the house like that without bringing his sword with him. Something told Spike weapons would be needed. He flexed his fists and let his fangs come forth; guess his natural demonic weapons would have to do.

“Hard to say.”

“Well is it…”

“Can’t you just shut up for once an’ just go with the flow?” Spike demanded. “You always gotta know the ins an’ outs of a ducks arse.”

Angel scowled, insulted. But he did as Spike requested and relapsed into silence. He wondered if he’d get the chance to call Buffy. She’d want to be there to help Willow and would never forgive him if he didn’t let her know her best friend was in danger.

 

XxX

The library was a hub of nervous energy. Giles was pouring over a book the arm of his glasses clenched between his teeth and his shoulders tense.

Buffy was pacing back and forth behind him, rounding the table, crossing to the counter where Xander was on the phone and circling back again.

Xander's fingers tapped anxiously against the counter, his other hand clutching tightly to the phone. "She's not answering. She's still not answering." He hung up, turning worried eyes towards Buffy. "Are you sure she wasn't at home?"

Buffy sighed. "I told you, Amy wasn't there. The lights were all on but nobody was home. I figured she was on her way here. I mean, we didn't tell her I'd go to get her and walk her here."

"You don't think..." Xander trailed off uncomfortably, running a hand through his hair. "Spike?"

Buffy shook her head. "It can't be Spike. He doesn't even know she's here."

"Well something's not right," Xander insisted. "Something's very, very wrong."

"I'd love to argue with you, Xan, but my spidey senses are wigging out. I've been feeling off for days."

Giles looked up, his face pale. "I wish I could say you're being overly dramatic, but I'm afraid you're not, Buffy."

Buffy gave him a long look, a feeling of trepidation gripping her heart. "What do you mean? What do you know? What aren't you telling me?"

“Buffy the rapid fire Slayer,” Xander said coming out from behind the counter.

Buffy smiled slightly and went with him to join Giles at the table. She sat with one leg curled beneath her, her eyes scanning Giles face, noticing for the first time the dark circles beneath his eyes and the harsh lines around his mouth. He wasn’t just worried, he was close to freaking, as much as Giles would ever freak. It was bad and Buffy knew it. “What is it, Giles? You’ve got Dire Watcher Face going on.”

“Last night Faith told me about something called the Ascension. Willow and Spike made her aware of it, something they, or at least Spike, discovered through the demon community; although nobody seemed to know what it meant.”

“Ascension?” Xander tried out the new word, but saying it didn’t help. There were no bells ringing, it meant nothing to him. “Why am I thinking this is not a good thing?”

“Its not a good thing,” Giles said, eyes closing as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s the opening of the Hellmouth…”

“That’s not fair!” Xander complained. “We’ve already dealt with that and we won. Twice.”

“So the demons of Sunnydale are going to try and open the Hellmouth?” Buffy asked.

“Not exactly. The Ascension is very specific, so I’m given to understand. I couldn’t find much about it so I called the Council to have their research department do a check on it too. Pool the resources so to speak. If the demons knew about it and we didn’t, well, safe to say that it would not bode well for us or the town.”

“So what do we know?” Xander leant on his elbows, fiddling absently with a discarded chocolate wrapper he found on the table.

“Giles?” Buffy said slowly. “There’s something you don’t want to tell me. What is it?” She swallowed, striving for Brave Slayer Face. Was it another prophecy? Was she to die again, only this time for good?

Giles closed his eyes, his forehead resting on his clenched fists and his shoulders sagging. He gave a little despairing moan. “It’s…”

At that moment the door swung open and Willow entered. Buffy jumped to her feet an ecstatic look on her face. Willow was here. Her best friend was back. Buffy had never been so happy to see anyone; not even Angel.

And no Spike in tow; bonus points!

“Wills,” Xander got up too blinking hard, his jaw popping open as he took in the tight fitting jeans his best friend was wearing. “You’re legs, they’re… new?”

“Same ones,” Willow said brushing by him.

“Ah, Willow,” Giles stood up, and just in the nick of time, with a wave of her hand Willow sent the table across the room where it crashed into the wall, splintering apart.

“Willow!” Buffy stared, her mouth agape. “What are you doing?”

“It is time,” Willow said, glancing over her shoulder at Buffy. “You cannot stop it.”

Buffy’s brow furrowed, her stomach knotting as nausea tinged the back of her throat. “Stop it? Stop what? Wills, what’s going on? What’s the matter with you?”

Before Giles could issue a warning Buffy stepped towards her friend, intent on shaking some sense into her if she had to. Willow gave her a scornful look, as though she could read Buffy’s mind, and sent her sailing backwards with the mere raising of her fingers. Buffy hit the door to the book cage, it swung back on its hinges and she tumbled into the cage, landing in a ball against the wall.

“Buff?” Xander hurried over to help her up. Buffy was usually so limber, if she got knocked down she was up again quicker than he could blink; but this time she sagged against him, her hand touching to her head as she groaned, unable to put her weight on her left leg.

He looked up at Willow, fear sweeping through him. Xander could feel the energy in the room, the magic Willow was giving off seemed to snap and spark in the air. He noticed she was standing where the Hellmouth opened, her arms out, palms facing down, a spiralling vortex of magic working its way from Willow’s hands down through the floorboards like a small tornado.

“So this is what impending doom feels like,” he muttered, hoisting Buffy more securely in his arms.

 

XxX

“That’s it, Willow. Good girl.”

Willow looked up, startled to see Jenny Calendar standing opposite her. Jessie had been with her when she had arrived at the library. She spared a quick glance about the room but she couldn’t see him. Before she could question his disappearance Jenny spoke again.

“I know magic. I’m much better suited to help you.” Jenny smiled. “You learnt magic from me, remember?”

Willow nodded. She’d had no idea magic existed until Miss Calendar had become one of their allies. She recalled that thrilling feeling the first time she had floated a pencil; it seemed rather ridiculous now. The power she felt now was so intense floating a pencil didn’t even register. She was strong. She was powerful. She wasn’t the weak pathetic sidekick any more.

“Do you feel the magic, Willow? The magic other than your own?”

Willow nodded, her forehead creasing. She could easily distinguish her magic from the alien force in her body.

“Concentrate on it, let it fuse with your own power. It’s alright. It won’t hurt you, Willow. It will only make you strong.” Jenny’s head titled slightly and she smiled brightly. “I wouldn’t let anything hurt you, Willow. You’re too important, I need you.”

It was nice, Willow reflected, to be important for a change.

Magic surged from beneath her, Willow could feel it sweep her from toes to head and back again in a continuous circle, getting stronger each time it passed through her. It was darker than her own magic but Willow wasn't concerned; how could she be when the stronger the magic became the stronger she became; it was a heady feeling.

She was full of magic and power; completely oblivious to the voices of her friends calling to her. Figuring if he could just get to her, make her look at him, look him in the eyes and really see him perhaps he could make her snap out of it; Xander ran to her, colliding face first with an invisible barrier. He winced, cupping his sore nose, the warmth of spilled blood coating his fingers.

Eyes closed Willow's head fell back, her lips parting as magic combed through her hair and crackled at her fingertips.

Buffy turned as the doors opened again, coming face to face with Angel and Spike. In spite of everything that had happened Buffy still felt that everything's-going -to-be-okay feeling she always got when Angel was around.

Angel looked from Buffy to Willow and back again. "What's going on?"

Buffy shook her head "I have no idea."

"She just turned up and went all Wicked Witch of the West on us," Xander said. "Possession maybe?"

"Xander tried to stop her but we can't get near her. It's like there's a wall of magic between us," Buffy said, shooting a desperate look at Willow. She had never been so frightened, not even when she went to face The Master; at least then it was only she who was supposed to die. Buffy couldn't bear thinking about Willow dying; it was a million times worse than facing death herself.

Spike ignored them all. He walked straight pass them and picked up a sword from just inside the book cage. He passed through the wall of magic easily, a cold sensation washing over him as he did so. He could feel the darkness of the magic pour from his girl and he could feel the darkness coming off the gypsy look alike beside her. The fact that not one of her friends had mentioned Willow's companion spoke volumes. They hadn't been able to see her last time she'd tried to hijack Willow's magic. Except; Spike growled deep in his throat, it wasn't the gypsy, it was The First Evil, the same entity that had tried to kill Angel.

There was no way in hell he was letting something that evil use Willow for anything.

Willow felt Spike before she saw him. She began to turn towards him when Jenny spoke. "Concentrate, Willow. Feel the magic."

"You'd better back away from my girl if you know what's good for ya."

Jenny frowned at him. "You can't stop The Ascension, vampire."

"Ascension," Spike's eyes widened, he genuinely hadn't been expecting that. Nothing he had heard about the Ascension had pointed towards Willow. The First he noticed, was hovering between him and Willow, blocking his path to her. The power coming from The First told Spike he wouldn't be able to pass it and he remembered that he couldn’t touch it either; it was non corporeal. He considered for a moment, he couldn't reach Willow and physically touch her, but maybe he could reach her another way. "Willow! Love! Look at me, listen to me."

Willow's head turned again, her eyes black as night stared back at him, little black veins rippling and pulsing around her eyes. "Spike."

"Yeah, it's me, love. Come over 'ere, hum? Come to Spike."

"Feel the power, Willow," Jenny urged. "Let it in." She shifted between Willow and Spike, blocking her once again from his sight. "You don't want to fight this, Spike. You want this. Once the Ascension is complete you're free of the soul."

"It's not worth riskin' her life for," Spike shot back.

Jenny smiled and shook her head. "She won't die, Spike. Far from it. Once the Ascension is complete she'll be free. You'll be free."

Spike remembered with stunning clarity exactly what would happened to Willow. "She'll be a demon!"

"She'll be exactly what you need her to be."

Spike blinked uncertainly. Wasn't it sort of the answer to their problem? For Willow to be a pure demon she would have to lose what remained of her soul. Split apart, the rest torn from her body with dark magic; there would be no putting her soul back no matter how much the Slayer tried.

Spike was aware that Willow was different now than she was before he came back and she had done the spell; he didn't have to know her personally to know that spitting her soul in two would cause a change. But for him, it was a good change; it allowed her to see past his demonic nature and love him in spite of all the things he did.

He had the capacity to love without his soul, but Angelus didn't.

Without her soul, would Willow still love him?

Even with all the hassle with the Slayer and the other witch, Willow had never expressed a desire to be rid of her entire soul. Could he allow it to happen?

This, Spike realised, was what love was all about. He would not sacrifice Willow's soul. He would fight for her with everything he had.

"You wanna complete the Ascension you gotta go through me, an' I don't go down so easy."

Jenny's smile was cold, her eyes gleaming darkly. "Then it all comes down to which one of us has the strongest hold over her, doesn't it."

XxX

 

"Okay, Giles, kinda wigged out here. Who's Spike talking to?" Xander was staring stupidly at the vampire who was, so far as Xander was concerned, talking to thin air.

It was Angel who answered. "The First Evil. He's talking to the First Evil."

Buffy's blood ran cold. "H... how do you know that?"

"Dark magic, Hellmouth opening, Spike talking to someone only he can see; it's The First. I know it," Angel said.

"Angel's right," Giles spoke up. "That's what I was about to tell you before Willow turned up. The Ascension will release the power of the Hellmouth through Willow..."

"What?!" Buffy shook her head. "No! No, Giles. We can't let that happen to her. We have to do something."

"Buffy. Buffy!" Giles made a grab for her arm as she spun away from him, but he missed.

Buffy pushed off on her toes and hurtled across the room. She wasn't sure how she was going to fight something she couldn't see or touch, but damn it she was going to have a good try. Focused and determined Buffy careened headlong into the magical barrier. She staggered back a shocked look on her face. Reaching out she pressed the air in front of her and saw the brief imprint of her fingers.

"Okay," she turned to Giles. "How come Spike gets to walk through it and I don't?"

"I don't know," Giles looked weary. "And I don't know how we can help her."

Xander scowled. "Those aren't words I like hearing, Giles."

"They aren't words I enjoy saying, Xander."

"Cross bow?" Buffy suggested leaping for the book cage. "Maybe we can shoot through it."

"Great idea, Buff," Xander said following her into the cage. "Just one question, what are you planning on shooting at?"

XxX

Jenny laughed, her shape shifting and changing until his mother stood before him. "You destroy those you love, William. You violated me and you killed me. What makes you think your love won't destroy her in the end too?"

Spike's fingers flexed over the handle of the sword.

"So pathetic," his mother changed and Cecily was there, as beautiful as the last time he had seen her. "So weak and desperate. You were nothing when you were human and you're nothing now." She paused, a curl of distain on her upper lip. "You're still not a man."

Spike's temper flared and he lashed out, his fist colliding with Cecily's nose. She staggered back a few paces. Spike's eyebrows lifted in surprise. "Well now, what ave we got ‘ere?"

Cecily shifted again and Drusilla was looking back at him. "Not one of us really loved you. She won't be any different, she'll leave you just as we left you."

Spike flinched when Drusilla's face melted away and he was looking at himself. It was a shock; he hadn't seen himself in over a hundred years. "Take a long look mate. You really think this," his mirror image spread his hands out, "is worth givin' up her life for? You think she'll walk away from everything she holds dear for you? Nobody else ever gave a bugger. Why should she?"

Spike's jaw clenched. "Ain’t got a problem in killin’ any of these faces to keep her safe. Even myself if it comes to it."

He swung the sword high, brought it down and jabbed, catching his mirror image in the side. The wound wasn't particularly deep and Spike knew it wouldn't be a fatal wound, but the black blood oozing from it gave him a sense of satisfaction. The First doubled over, hissing angrily. Spike felt the power around him waver; it gave him hope that he could still stop this before Willow became fully emerged in the Ascension.

Catching hold of Willow's shoulder's Spike spun her round and peered into her face. "Willow, listen to me, Willow. I need you to listen to me. I love you, baby. I need you. This isn’t you. Come back to me. Fight. Don’t let The First Evil control you. It needs you but you don't need it. You can stop this, love, you can stop The First. You're the good girl and you have to stop it. It's what you do."

The floor began to crumble, the magic and energy in the room intensifying in a wild whirlwind that upended the chairs and sent the books flying from the shelves.

Willow's eyes closed for a moment, magic washing through her, turning her hair as black as her eyes. Her fingers brushed along Spike's forehead, caressing the bumps and ridges. "Come to me my beautiful boy. I’ll give you the world."

Spike smiled, cupping her face, stroking the soft skin beneath her eyes with the pad of his thumbs. "I’ve already got the world. You’re my world." Just as he leant in to kiss her a blast of magic struck him, forcing him across the room. He tumbled down over a chair and crashed into the front of the counter.

Willow's lips parted, she let lose an unearthly scream at the sight of Spike lying unconscious on the floor.

The scream chilled Xander to the very marrow of his bones. He wasn’t sure what it meant, if Willow was in pain or mad or what, but he didn’t like it. And he hated how useless he felt forced to stand there and simply watch his best friend get swept up in darkness. Where was Amy when they really needed her? Perhaps her magic could at least take down the barrier between them and Willow. If they could only get to her as Spike had they might stand a chance of fighting for her.

He glanced across at Giles who was frantically searching through a book for a spell he could use to try and combat the magical wall. Xander hated to be a pessimist, but he really couldn’t see Giles having any sort of power to fight the magic they were witnessing.

Still, he had to try. He had to try and get through to Willow and he did the only thing he could think of. Xander called for her. Trying desperately to get her attention, but she ignored him; she only had eyes for Spike.

Willow left her spot at the opening of the Hellmouth and hurried to Spike’s side; her hands patting him, attempting to rouse him.

Jenny looked horrified. “What are you doing? Leave him. Finish what we started.”

Willow looked up, her eyes hot with fury. “I’ll never leave him!”

 

Spike came to with a small groan. Willow’s scent overwhelming him, her warmth wrapped around him where she had lifted him into her arms and held him tightly. He shifted in her grasp, sitting up and grabbing hold of her shoulders. His eyes met hers. “You love me, I know you do. Your love for me is stronger than the power of the First. Fight it, baby. Fight it. You won’t let it destroy the world an’ kill your friends. I know you won’t.”

The power and magic wavered again, Spike could feel it. The black of Willow’s eyes were now flecked with green and the little veins were disappearing. She was nearly back, Spike was sure of it. His girl was fighting and she was going to win. Closing the gap between them he kissed her.

Jenny screamed, full of rage. Her form shifted and changed, long dark tendrils of magic, like wispy smoke rose up to hover above them all to form a large, twisted, demonic face. The face hovered there a moment or two before being sucked backwards into the Hellmouth. The Hellmouth closed and the library was silent.

Still fused to Spike, Willow suddenly withdrew, sucking in a sharp, much needed breath. Even that seemed too much for her and she collapsed against him, completely drained of energy, of magic, of emotion.

 

Spike soothed her, his hand smoothing gently through her hair, now back to its delicious red and copper tones. “I’ve got you, baby, you’re alright. I’ve got you. Never let anything happen to you.”

 

Running footsteps made Spike look up. Xander and Buffy skidded to a hault in front of them. Both began wiggling and jostling each other and Spike in an effort to touch her, to hold her, to assure themselves that Willow was alright.

 

“Wills. Wills are you okay?” Xander managed to disengage her from Spike and haul her into his arms. Spike didn’t much like it, but he let it go. They would need to be close to her too; he wasn’t the only one who had nearly lost her.

“Yes,” Willow’s voice was shaky, but her arms were strong as she hugged Xander tightly. “I’m alright.”

 

“God, Wills. You scared me to death.” Buffy stroked Willow’s hair for a moment before her arms wound around her friend, unable to wait until Xander was done with his hug before she had hers.

 

Sandwiched between her two best friends who weren’t, Willow was pretty sure, going to let her up for air any time soon, with Spike’s legs still tangled with hers and his hand resting on her thigh; Willow felt safe. The three people she loved most in the world were with her and she was safe.

 

“You can be pretty bad ass when you wanna be, Wills,” Xander said, hugging her even tighter. “I’ll never steal your Barbie again.”

 

Willow’s mood lightened and she laughed quietly, her fingers managing to find Buffy’s in amongst the tangle and squeezing.

 

Resting her cheek on the softness of Willow’s hair, Buffy’s eyes lifted to Spike. He was sitting back against the counter, patiently tolerating the three of them sitting on his legs. She smiled, her lips moving silently, “Thank you.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 51

Sensing another presence in the room, Mayor Wilkins looked up from the newspaper. He wasn't particularly surprised to see Allen Finch standing in front of his desk. "I felt something," he said, folding the paper neatly and setting it on the desk. "The demons are all stirred up. What happened?"

"The Ascension began."

"As you did not walk through the door, I take it all did not go as planned?"

"No," Allen agreed. "I may have underestimated the vampire."

"Spike?"

"Him," Allen made a face drifting through a chair as he paced the room. "He had the strongest hold over the witch."

Mayor Wilkins leant his arms on the desk and surveyed the annoyed entity before him. "There's something more that can be done though? Isn't there? Mr Trick has sent the word through the demon community that the day of the demon is coming, just as you instructed. The demons at Willy's took on Angel and nearly killed him when he started asking questions about soul's, they did their bit in keeping Spike and Willow status quo."

"They did well. I am pleased with them." Allen stood and stared out of the window for a few minutes, taking in the quiet streets below. "It seems," he said slowly. "That even I misunderstood the Ascension."

"I don't understand. Are you saying there's nothing more to be done?" The Mayor asked worriedly.

"I'm saying it will be different than I anticipated. To become a pure demon will take more than the mere departing of a soul from the body. My energy was to merge with the witch and I would become corporeal through her."

"You mean take over her body?"

"That's right. But Spike wounded me; my essence was spilled before the ritual was complete. I will not be able to inhabit the witch."

"But," Mayor Wilkins looked aghast. "What about the demons in town? They're expecting the day of the demon just as you promised. Maybe there's something in The Books of Ascension that will help. I haven't had the opportunity of reading them all yet."

Allen smiled softly. "Oh they'll have their day very soon. It's not over yet; not by a long shot. The witch will instead take my power as her own and with her own power and mine fused together she will be all powerful and I will wield her from the other side."

"What about Spike?"

"He was instrumental in keeping her safe and keeping her soul split in two. But he has too great an influence over her. When the Ascension continues and Willow's soul completely departs and she has my magic flowing through her; Spike will be the first person she kills at my command."

XxX

It was an exhausted Willow who staggered through the front door just before dawn. She was just as surprised to see her mother coming out of the kitchen with a glass of water in her hand as Sheila was to see her daughter arriving home at that time of the morning.

"Where have you been?"

"Out," Willow said, yawning. "Don't bother to lecture me, you'll be out of here in a few days any way and what I do won't matter."

Sheila frowned. "I thought you could be trusted to look after yourself in our absence. I thought you were mature enough to live here alone until graduation. Creeping into the house at all hours of the day and night says otherwise."

Gathering up the last ounce of strength she had, Willow locked eyes with her mother and altered her memory. She was tired, Spike had nearly died tonight; the last thing she wanted to deal with was curfew nonsense from a woman who was never around to ensure her daughter obeyed the rules she set down.

Sheila blinked, her eyes coming back into focus. “Are you just getting in?”

“No,” Willow shook her head. “I came home hours ago and fell asleep in my clothes.”

Sheila accepted the explanation, although she continued to look suspicious. “I was going to wait until tomorrow to talk to you, but seeming as your up.”

“Yes?”

“What are you doing up?” Sheila’s brow furrowed, her suspicions growing stronger.

“Water,” Willow said, moving quickly into the kitchen. The sun would be rising shortly and she needed to get back to her room to let Spike in. “What did you want to say to me?”

“Oh yes,” Sheila took a sip of her own water. “There appears to be a problem in Boston that requires our presence to deal with. Your father managed to book us on a flight tomorrow morning, we’ll be leaving for a couple of days.”

“Anything serious?” Willow was glad her parents were leaving sooner rather than later, and was it really bad of her to hope the problem would keep them away for the foreseeable future and they’d deem it a waste of time to come back to Sunnydale before school started and her father would begin his new job.

“Not really, just some documents we need to sign and a potential new house. It’s vital we go to see it immediately as there has been some notable interest in it already and its still the holiday period. If we can secure a proper home before we fully start to settle there then all the better.”

Willow returned to the hallway glass of water in her hand. “That would be helpful.” She had to strive to sound interested, to not shove her mother out of the way as she wanted to. She was just so tired, her nerves were stretched to breaking point and all she wanted to do was curl up in Spike’s arms where she was safe and go to sleep. She yawned. “I’m really tired, mom. I have to sleep.”

“Yes of course. We’ll talk in the morning before we leave. We’ll have breakfast together, shall we?”

Willow smiled and nodded. “That’ll be nice, mom.”

Her mother patted her cheek as she passed by and Willow forced another tired smile to her lips. Being pleasant to people was exhausting.

“Good night, Willow.”

“Night mom.” She paused and glanced back at the woman who had birthed her, raised her and ultimately abandoned her. If all went to plan, after tomorrow she would probably never see her parents again, she’d be off on a wild adventure with Spike. Willow felt a twinge of something very much like sadness and regret, but she pushed it away. Her parents had their own life to lead, they hadn’t bothered to ask her how she felt about the move to Boston. “I guess it’s a bit late, but, well, Happy Hanukah, mom.”

Sheila smiled, and Willow felt it was one of the most genuine moments to have ever passed between them. “Happy Hanukah, Willow.”

Turning away from her mother, Willow walked quickly to her room. She didn’t bother to put the lights on but went straight to the windows and opened them for Spike. He was leaning against the wall enjoying a pre-dawn cigarette. “Where’ve you been, pet?”

“Bumped into my mother. They’re leaving tomorrow morning to sort out some problems in Boston. You’ll have free run of the house again.”

Spike nodded and took a last drag, dropping the butt to the floor and grinding it with the toe of his boot. “How’d you feel ‘bout that?”

She shrugged. “They were going before school starts anyway. I don’t mind that they’re going. Besides, we’ll be going soon too, won’t we?”

“Course, love. If you still want to go.”

Spike had the feeling the best thing for Willow would be to get the hell out of this town. She was far too susceptible to its dark forces with only half a soul to keep her in check. He had never felt such power as he had felt from her tonight. On the one hand it had appealed to every instinct in him and Spike would enjoy the torment she could inflict if the fancy took her. But on the other hand it had scared the hell out of him seeing her like that, even if a part of him had wanted nothing more than to pin her to the nearest surface and go at it.

A surprised look crossed her face. “Of course I want to go. Why wouldn’t I?”

Stepping into the room and shutting the windows Spike let out a little breath. They hadn’t really talked on the way back to the house. Still drained from so much magic and power Willow hadn’t been very talkative or able to move much on her own and had meekly submitted to him carrying her the whole way. “We should talk ‘bout tonight, don’t you think?”

Willow bit her bottom lip, her arms curling around her torso. She hugged herself, eyes drifting down to the carpet. “I didn’t mean it.”

“Oh baby, I know you didn’t.” Spike pulled her close, knowing she needed the reassurance of him pressed against her. “It’s not your fault you’ve got all this power, it’s who you are is all.”

“It was just like the last time, only more. I couldn’t control it, Spike, not until you got hurt.” She looked up, her hand coming to rest against his cheek. “Are you alright now?”

“’m fine, love. Don’t worry ‘bout me.”

“But I do. I know you’ve been around a long time and I know you can take care of yourself and you don’t need me but I still worry. I don’t want anything to happen to you, Spike and I….”

He silenced her with a kiss. Willow’s eyes closed and her arms drifted around his neck, fingers burrowing into the soft hair at the back of his head. Need, anger, frustration, desire; Spike poured it all into the kiss. His mouth crushed hers as he pushed his tongue inside her, forcing her into submission. After seeing her channel so much power the demon in him needed to assert its authority.

Letting her up to breathe, Spike kissed her forehead lightly. "I do need you," he murmured. "And I don't mind that you worry."

Willow smiled and snuggled against his chest where she felt safe. Nothing could hurt her when Spike was there. "I nearly opened the Hellmouth again, didn't I?"

"Sort of," Spike replied guardedly. "It was the Ascension."

She jerked in his arms, pulling back to stare at him disbelievingly. "I was helping with the Ascension? But I thought the Mayor was supposed to be part of it?"

Spike shrugged. "Looks like its not gonna go down the way we thought it was. That's not our main concern, love. The First Evil was right there beside you, I was talkin' to it. I think... I think the ghost you've been seeing of your friend Jessie was The First Evil all along. It needed a way to communicate with you, it needed you to listen to it and not be afraid so it took on the form of someone you love."

She nodded sadly. "I wanted it to be Jessie so badly I didn't look any deeper. I just accepted what he told me."

"Can't blame you for lovin' your friend, pet." Spike paused and smoothed her cheek."It told me you'd be free once the Ascension was complete,"

"Free?" she asked curiously. "What do you mean?"

"As in no soul."

Willow didn't respond, she wasn't sure how she felt about that. When she had first found out she had lost part of her soul the knowledge had frightened her. Her first worry had been that she would become evil, the very thing she had been fighting against for three years; funny how the idea of the rest of her soul leaving her body wasn't frightening any more. "Oh," she said at last.

"That's it?" Spike's eyebrows lifted questioningly.

"I'd be like you, Spike. That's not a bad thing."

His face softened and he kissed her again. If he lived to be a thousand he'd never know what he had done to deserve a girl like Willow. "I nearly let it 'appen."

If his confession was meant to shock her, it didn't. There was a teeny tiny part of her wondering what it would be like if her soul departed completely. She already felt freer than she used to. Things like adhering to the rules and worrying so much about what other people thought didn't matter so much to her as they had only last month.

"Would things change that much if it had happened?"

"You'd change, yeah," he said. "A soul makes a difference to a person. You know what 'appened to Angel when the Slayer shagged the soul out of him."

"I've changed already," she pointed out. "Would I be all that different? Are you all that different from when you were human?"

Spike nodded, embarrassment crossing his face. "I was a useless man," he admitted quietly. "Spent all my time writin' awful poetry an' simperin' after a woman who wouldn't look at me twice. Bloody mummy's boy is what I was. Worlds away from the Spike you know." He laughed dryly. "Hardly 'ad any friends. Always ridiculed. Always a bloody joke. A soddin' pathetic excuse for a man I was."

"You were lonely," Willow realised.

"Yeah."

"You didn't fit."

"No."

"You felt worthless."

"Pretty much."

She smiled, her arms sliding around his waist. "I'm you a hundred years later. I think I was always meant to find you."

Closing the distance between them, Spike grazed her lips with the lightest touch. Willow's lips softened and parted under the delicious feel of his. Spike felt his body take fire as she rose on her tip toes to kiss him back. He took the kiss deeper, his tongue stroking hers as he lost himself in the taste of her.

She sighed when he drew back, her eyelashes fluttering as her eyes opened. "You're strong now, Spike. You're different in a good way. Maybe I'd be different in a good way too, my magic would be so much stronger."

Spike shook his head. "It's all irrelevant now, love. It's over."

Her forehead wrinkled, a gleam of thoughtfulness coming to her eyes. "Is it? We thought that when it went after Angel and we thought it when the Hellmouth closed last time and yet it's back again. I don't think The First Evil will ever go away, Spike. It's always going to be here even if we don't see it. There's no way to destroy it."

"You've got a point," he agreed. "But we can get rid of it, love. Once we're away from the Hellmouth it'll be out of our lives an' go back to being the Slayer's problem. We'll leave," he said firmly. "Tomorrow night. You're parent's will 'ave gone an' we'll go too."

Willow nodded. "Alright, Spike. Tomorrow night we'll go."

She was more than willing to skip town with him, not because she was frightened of another visit from the First Evil, but because she wanted to put as much distance between Spike and her friends as possible. Once she was out of sight maybe she'd be out of mind and her soul would leave their thoughts. Maybe Spike could find another witch or a demon of some sort who could help them with a spell or ritual to keep any spell Giles could find from taking effect.

"Pet, what did you do to the other witch?" Spike suddenly remembered Amy.

"Oh," Willow bit her lip, a guilty look coming to her face. "Um, I sort of turned her into a rat."

"You what?"

"Rat," she repeated. "I didn't want you to kill her, Spike. It's not her fault she got caught up in our problems, that was all Xander's idea. I don't feel good about it, but well, I'm not all that sorry about it either."

He laughed, his eyes dancing with amusement. "Could I persuade you to do the same thing to the Slayer?"

Her hands came to rest on her hips. "I can't ratify Buffy. You know I can't do that. Even with you gone the town will still need someone to protect it. Faith could use the help."

"Oh alright, I guess it won't matter if the annoyin' bint is wanderin' round one we get outta 'ere."

Willow yawned, covering her mouth with her hand. "Oh. I didn't get my surprise," she said, a disappointed pout forming. "What was it?"

"It'll keep," Spike said, shrugging off his coat as she did hers, hanging it in the wardrobe. "We don't need to be in Sunnydale for it." There were plenty of costal highways in the world he could take her riding along. Her dream of riding a motorbike could become a reality anywhere.

Pulling off her boots Willow turned back to face him. "Can I get a hint?" Her curiosity was piqued and whilst she had a love of surprises, she also enjoyed trying to figure them out.

"No hints," Spike said firmly. His lips curled into a smirk. "Well now, I 'aven't seen this outfit before. Where've you been hidin' it?"

Black suited her, it set off her pale skin to utter perfection and when she wore head to toe black as she was doing now, it reminded him she wasn't as innocent as those big green eyes made her out to be. He knew. He'd been the one doing the corrupting.

Reaching out he hooked a finger into the loop of the zipper at the front of her top, simultaneously tugging her towards him while pulling the zipper down. His tongue stole out to wet his bottom lip, with each tooth the zipper released more soft pale skin became visible and it was perfectly clear to Spike she wore nothing beneath the top.

The zip reached its end and the top fell open on either side of her. Willow shrugged it off as Spike's hand's spanned her waist, pulling her closer as his head dropped to the gentle curve of her neck and he pressed a kiss to the space where her neck met her shoulder.

His fingers ran up her body, teasing the sensitive skin of her breast, inching closer and closer to her nipple, but not touching it. Her leg curled around his, drawing his thigh between hers; she rubbed against him with a soft sound. Spike groaned, his fingers pressing between her lips as his fangs sank into her throat.

The familiar pain of Spike's bite raced through her and Willow's teeth clamped down on his fingers, a whimper escaping her. Eyes closed Willow gave herself over to the truest part of the demon, enjoying the connection with him. It made her stomach twist and her blood flare hot.

Her eyes locked with his as she reached for his shirt and slipped each button free. Cool, nimble fingers brushed her stomach as he tugged at the button on her jeans. As a wave of arousal rolled over her, a blast of magic erupted in the room, causing the furniture to shake and the window to shiver.

Spike growled and reached for her. There was a mad tearing of clothes, the need to feel skin on skin too great.

He tumbled her back onto the bed, his hands hitting the bed on either side of her head. He hovered over her for an endless moment, little tendrils of magic creeping and sparking over his skin as she lost the handle on her power; his own body shook with barely leashed power.

They weren't matched and Spike knew it. She was a witch and as such her power far outstripped his. But he needed her. He wanted her. And he wanted to control her the only way he knew how; he was a demon and would settle for nothing less.

His mouth crushed to hers, sweeping past her lips to kiss her hard and deep. His tongue clashed with hers, demanding complete surrender. The kiss left her weak and breathless, her world closing in until it consisted only of Spike; of them together.

She arched under him, a primal need burning through her like wildfire. A trail of kisses blazed down her throat, over her chest to her stomach and Willow whimpered. Spike worked his way lower, a slow smile curling his lips when she spread her legs invitingly.

"That's my girl," he murmured, stroking her clit with the tip of one finger.

She let out a moan, fire streaking through her when he pressed his fingers inside her. Pleasure tightened inside her at the flick of his tongue against the engorged knot of nerves at the apex of her sex. He continued to stroke her with fingers and tongue, the scent of her rocking through his body, the taste of magic and strawberries sweeping his mouth.

Willow tensed, panting his name over and over again until suddenly everything exploded in a hot rush inside her and a harsh cry tore from her throat.

"That's it," Spike coaxed her through her released with soft hands and softer words; his eyes gleaming yellow.

"Please," she whispered brokenly, reaching for him with desperate fingers.

A dangerous smile touched Spike's lips, the demon rejoiced in her capitulation. Bracing his hands on either side of her, surrounding her with lean muscle and cool skin, Spike thrust inside her. She was hot and wet and almost too much to handle.

The pace he set was hard and powerful; filling her again and again.

Willow shuddered, her head falling back and her hips pushing into him, seeking something teasingly out of reach. Another sharp thrust forced a choked cry from her and her head fell forward to touch her mouth to his shoulder, drawing his flesh between her lips. Warm hands ran over his back, fingers tracing the corded muscles of his shoulders. Her fingers drifted down his sides and back up over his ribs, stroking against his pebbled nipples slowly; at complete contrast to the way his cock filled her and retreated with such dominant force.

A spiral of twisted pleasure broke inside her and Willow came apart; her magic washing over both of them, crackling in the air.

Spike growled, yellow eyes meeting her dazed green ones. "Again."

Clutching at his arms Willow arched off the bed with a guttural cry; every cell in her body vibrating with urgency.

"Again." Spike commanded, his voice scratching in this throat. He changed the angle of his hips, plunging into her again, his control almost gone. "Come. Now."

The harsh command unravelled something inside her and another orgasm ripped through her. Willow could hear her own voice, babbling, begging, pleading and Spike dropped his face into her neck, his fangs sliding into the puncture wounds on her skin.

She dug her heels into the small of his back, her nails raking down the length of his back as her body clenched around his cock.

Spike groaned. "Feels so good, baby. Love the way you feel, so warm. So alive. Can't make it hard enough, can't get deep enough. Want you so much I can never get enough of you. I'll never give you up."

It was the sound of his name falling from her lips that undid him. Spike's hips snapped forward for the last time and he came with a roar, his head thrown back, her blood still staining his lips.

Willow held him tightly, her eyes drifting shut, her exhaustion absolute. Spike lay with his head on her chest, his ear over her heart where the unsteady beating could fill his head.

_I'll never give you up._

Spike meant it and Willow knew it. But he wasn't thinking things through. He would give her up. Not of his own volition, but he would. She would grow old and die while he remained forever as he was now. At some point she would leave him, death would see to that.

As sleep washed over her Willow's last conscious thought was that there had to be something she could do about that. There had to be a way to fix things to her own satisfaction and allow her to be with Spike forever.

XxX

"Hey, Wills."

Willow smiled. "Hey Jessie. What are you doing here?"

Willow felt no fear in spite of what had happened earlier. She had not forgotten that it was Jessie who had led her to the library and she felt Spike might be right, that Jessie's ghost and The First Evil were all one and the same thing. Still there was no fear, just the sense of an old friend coming to visit. The First Evil may have tried to use her to its evil ends twice, but it had also helped her to keep Spike safe.

"I'm here to help, just as I've always helped you."

"Help me? How?"

Jessie gave her a long look. "I'll give you everything you want."

"I have everything I want."

Even in sleep her arms tightened around Spike.

"Not yet you don't," Jessie said, his voice dropping to a dark promise. "But you will."

 

 

 


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter 52

"Last night was the worst of my life," Xander said with feeling. Pale, eyes bleary, he rested his chin in his hands and looked across the table at Faith.

Faith shuddered. Giles and Xander had brought her and Cordelia up to speed, and even though she knew what happened and had seen Willow go all open-the-Hellmouth-crazy -ass -witch once before, Faith still had trouble processing everything. That the Willow she had met when she had first arrived in Sunnydale; quiet, geeky, sidekick Willow, could have that sort of power at her disposal was mindboggling. Frightening. And, Faith had to admit, she was a little bit jealous.

Suddenly Slayer strength and speed didn't seem all that when compared to the power of a witch.

"So Willow's evil now?" Cordelia's eyebrows lifted, a look of scepticism on her face. "Well I'm sorry, but I don't believe it. No-one who wears orange sneakers and corduroy skirts can be evil."

"It's Willow, of course she's not evil," Xander snapped. "She's just, um, confused at the moment. And Spike probably isn't helping." He checked his watch. "Oz should be here soon. Maybe he'll have some ideas."

Faith snorted. "I hate to rain on your dumbass parade, Xander, but Oz isn't going to click his fingers and make everything the way it was before. She's a new Willow now. A Spike loving Willow and you're just gonna have to learn to deal."

"Faith's right." Cordelia sniffed and frowned. "And just why are you getting so involved in Willow's love life? It's none of your business who she dates."

"She's my best friend. I'm always gonna worry about Wills," Xander said defensively. "Although," he looked again at his watch. "Amy going MIA is kinda wigging me out too."

"Have we still not heard from her?" Cordelia asked, and Xander shook his head in response.

Faith busied herself with taking a drink of soda. Every time Amy's name was mentioned, and Xander had been mentioning it a lot over the last hour; Faith felt a prickle of unease moving over her skin. Every Slayer instinct she had told Faith that Amy was a lost cause. She knew, what the others didn't; Spike and Willow had been aware of Amy's presence in town.

It said something, Faith thought, that she honestly couldn't say whether it was Spike or Willow who had taken care of Amy. She was a problem for them and Faith had seen enough of them together to know neither one of them would be willing to sit back and let Amy get busy with the magic.

Was Amy dead?

Had they killed her?

If she was any kind of Slayer she'd tell Giles everything she knew. If she had just one shred of decency inside her she'd confess all and help Willow's friends restore order to their lives. But Faith said nothing. If she started talking it would be an all or nothing situation, she couldn't keep anything back, including her own murderous secret.

Willow was happy with the way things were. As Willow's friend, Faith wanted her to be happy.

She also didn't want anyone finding out what she had done.

Ignorance was bliss.

Silence was golden.

Best to keep quiet.

Faith took another drink of soda. She glanced up when Buffy arrived, actually glad to see the other Slayer; she was a welcome distraction from Faith's own thoughts. Xander's chair legs scraped the floor as he jumped to his feet at the sight of Buffy's companion.

"Oz! You're back."

"Hey," Oz greeted the room as a whole.

"Did you find Amy?" Cordelia addressed Buffy who had gone back to Amy's house to look for her.

"No," Buffy shook her head. "Something's wrong though. Something is really wrong. The lights are still all on at her house but there's no-one there. I went all through the house and I saw her suitcase in her room, she hadn't unpacked yet. She was definitely there last night to have switched the lights on, but she obviously hasn't been back which tells me something's happened to her. Where's Giles?"

Giles came out of the back room a china cup in his hand. When he came closer, Buffy realised it was not tea he was drinking. "Whiskey? Before noon? Giles?" Buffy had passed officially worried when she had failed to find Amy the previous night. She had passed wigging out when she saw Willow all dark and veiny. Now she was in full blown panic mode and a whisky drinking Watcher was not helping her stay calm.

"I was hoping there would be a way around it, but I haven't found anything yet." Giles pinched the bridge of his nose and took a seat at the table. "Last night I knew we were up against some very serious powerful forces."

"We've dealt with powerful forces before," Cordeila pointed out. "We're still standing. Everyone remember the Judge and that no weapon forged to kill him thing? We found a way around that."

"I think you mean I found a way around that," Xander interjected with a proud lift of his head.

Cordelia sighed. "The one time you did something useful."

Xander made a face and Faith grinned.

Giles closed his eyes, head bowing over his cup. "I fear we're out of our league at the moment. I've delved deeper following last night's incident, especially after seeing that Spike was able to physically interact with The First."

"So we're sure Angel was right about that?"Cordelia asked.

"Oh yes," Giles nodded. "Angel was right. No doubt about it."

"How do we help Willow? Buffy explained," Oz added when Xander gave him a questioning look. He had met Buffy outside the school building and she had taken some time to update him. Oz figured Buffy thought it would be easier for him to find out about the extent of Willow's relationship with Spike without everyone else staring at him, waiting for a reaction. She wasn't wrong. Oz couldn't say he was particularly surprised. Spike had played a major part in the deterioration of his relationship with Willow, but it still hadn't been easy to hear about it.

"I'm not completely sure how we help her," Giles admitted. "It seems that without her whole soul Willow is susceptible to dark magic and nowhere is magic darker than on the Hellmouth. I believe that the Ascension was not only meant merge Willow's magic with the power of the Hellmouth, but, after seeing Spike fighting with the First; I believe that the deeper into the Ascension Willow went, the more corporeal the First became. It was using her magic and energy to manifest."

"Manifest?" Buffy whispered horrified. "But that means..."

"A very real First Evil," Faith finished.

"Precisely." Giles took a sip of whiskey to help fortify him. "She would, in essence, join forces with The First and her soul would depart completely; not just from her but Spike too."

"You mean, completely soulless Willow?" Oz said quietly.

Cordelia gave Buffy a pointed look. "And we all know what that means."

Xander's eyes went as wide as saucers. "No more Wills?"

"There are many witches and sorcerers who practice dark magic," Giles spoke slowly, he felt as though his energy had been sapped. "But they are still human, they still have their souls. This wouldn't be Willow practicing dark magic, this would be Willow without a soul at all. A soul is our connection with humanity. Without those things a person becomes...." he trailed off, unable to continue.

"A demon," Faith finished for him. She could hardly believe it. Willow and not the Mayor was to become the pure demon. And this is what happened when you listened to a two bit wheeler dealer demon, Faith thought crossly. That Skylar had everything backwards. The Mayor must have wanted the books to keep them out of the hands of the Slayer's in town. Or, Faith figured that as the Mayor was immortal perhaps he had thought he could be part of the Ascension and rule the town, clearly he'd been wrong.

"What do we do?" Xander demanded. "You said we couldn't kill The First Evil, Giles. Well, if we can't kill it, what do we do?"

"We could send her out of town," Oz suggested. "The First won't be able to reach her if she's not here."

"She was going to leave anyway," Buffy's voice was a broken whisper. "It'll be better for her if she goes now."

"What?" Xander looked confused. "What are you talking about, leave? When was Willow leaving?"

Buffy took a few minutes to explain how Ira Rosenberg had secured a new job in Boston and Willow's parents were leaving town for good very shortly. It still made Buffy ache to think of her best friend leaving her, but she loved Willow enough to know that Sunnydale was not the place for her. Until they found a way to restore Willow to her usual soulful self, leaving was the best option for all of them; Willow most of all.

"Well," Xander threw his hands in the air. "I can't believe she hasn't told me about this. We're supposed to be best friends." He scowled darkly. "I bet Spike knows about it."

Buffy nodded. "Yeah, I think he does."

"Look," Faith sat forward over the table. "Let Spike take her away. He'll look after her, you know he will. Just let them leave together and live the life they want to live."

Buffy looked up her brow furrowing. "You mean, with each of them having half a soul, don't you?"

Faith nodded. "Yeah, B that's exactly what I mean."

"That's not an option," Buffy said firmly. "We have to find a way to put her soul back."

"Why?" Faith glared at her, "Because that's what you want? Well to hell with you, B. Who gave you the right to dictate Willow's life? What about what she wants?" Faith snorted and shook her head. "But you don't want to hear about that, do you? You don't want to listen to what Willow wants because she doesn't want to hang around in your shadow any more. Because she's got the vampire she wants and you can't have the one you want. Because she wants a life away from you. You just can't stand it, can you."

"That's not true!" Buffy was on her feet, her face flushed with anger. "I want what's best for Willow."

"Who the hell are you to say what's best for someone else?" Faith demanded. "Willow's still Willow. She can still think for herself and she's told me she doesn't want her soul put back together. Why don't you just let her live her own life? You can't control everyone B. And not everyone needs saving."

"Enough!" Giles rarely raised his voice, and the two Slayer's fell silent, each glaring at the other across the table. "It's commendable that you both want to help your friend. It is also understandable that you'd each have different ways of going about it. I'm not saying one is right and the other wrong, all I'm going to say is that Willow's wellbeing is our first priority and until we can figure out a way to stop The First connecting with her, Oz is right, she has to leave town. That is one thing I think we can all agree on."

"I agree," Cordelia said.

Faith nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

"She might not want to go," Xander said. "And if Spike's happy partying on the Hellmouth there's no way she's going to go and leave him behind."

"She has to go!" Giles slammed his fist on the table. "Whatever happens, Willow must leave Sunnydale."

"Giles!" Buffy blinked, her jaw dropping open in utter surprise. She'd never seen him behave like this before; and there was an undertone she was only now picking up on. Having been so focused on Willow it hadn't immediately been apparent to her. "There's something else," she said, peering intently at him. "I can see it in your eyes, Giles. There's more to this than you've told us so far."

Xander groaned and ran a hand through his hair. "Can there be more?"

"I'm such an idiot!" Giles shook his head, gripping his skull tightly for a moment. "After last night I was worried so I called The Watcher's Council in the hopes they might have further information, or be able to assist in some way." He groaned, his eyes closing. "I'd have done better to say nothing. To do nothing at all. They said they'd look into it and they called me back around three o'clock this morning to say that Willow is a threat and must be eliminated."

A horrified look crossed Buffy's face. "Eliminated? Giles, that can't mean what it sounds like."

He nodded. "As the Slayer's they want you and Faith to eliminate, as they put it, "the witch". As she only has part of her soul, and the Ascension would rid her of her soul completely, they consider her within the Slayer's jurisdiction."

"No!" Buffy cried vehemently. "I won't do it."

"Me neither!" Faith scowled. "Screw The Watcher's Council!"

"If you won't do it," Oz said thoughtfully. "They'll send someone who will."

"Exactly," Giles said. "That's why Willow has to leave and disappear. Spike I'm sure, will know how to disappear, he's been around a long time."

Xander got up and went to the phone, heart heavy. "I'll call her, ask her and Spike to meet us here when the sun goes down."

As he dialled Willow's number Xander found himself slightly cheered at the thought of Spike. He might be a vampire, but with Willow's soul in him he wasn't completely evil any more and he did take really good care of Willow. Spike had taken on The First Evil for her and he had won. If Willow was going to be safe with anyone it would be Spike.

"How come Spike could see The First and the rest of us couldn't?" he asked, leaning against the counter as the phone rang.

"I believe it's because they share a soul. To a certain extent, they are one," Giles explained. "I'm sorry," he looked from Buffy to Xander. "I thought The Council might be able to help. It never occurred to me that they'd want Willow dead."

"Spike too I expect," Cordelia murmured.

"Absolutely." Giles took another swig of whiskey. It wasn't really helping, but tea just wasn't going to cut it.

"Machine," Xander informed them a few moments later. He cleared his throat. "Hey Wills, it's me. Xander. Um, listen, I really need you and Spike to meet us at the library tonight. It's important, Wills. Like life and death important. We'll all be here waiting for you. I... I love you Wills. Ok, bye."

"Nothing more we can do," Oz let out a sigh.

Buffy stood and went to Xander, catching his hand in hers. "Tonight might be the last night we see Willow for a long time."

Xander squeezed her fingers tightly. "Tonight's gonna be the worst night ever."

XxX

Willow had managed to drag herself from bed and get dressed to spend some time with her parents before they left. They had eaten a nice breakfast together, even though eating had been the last thing on Willow's mind.

They had hugged goodbye at the door, her father insisting she come to Boston during the next school holidays so she could check everything out for herself. Willow had promised she'd go; although Willow had the weirdest feeling this would be the last time she saw her parents, that they would never meet again. She couldn't say where that feeling came from, but it had persisted all morning.

When her parents had finally left, Willow had staggered back to bed, just sitting around making idle small talk had really taken a lot out of her. She knew it was because she had used so much magic the previous night.

"They're gone then?" Spike asked sleepily when she went into the bedroom.

"Yes." Willow unplugged the phone beside the bed, she didn't want any double glazing salesman waking her up. She undressed and climbed in beside him. "I couldn't have stayed awake much longer."

"You used a lot of magic."

"That's part of it," she agreed, snuggling into his arms. "Then there's you."

He chuckled, kissing the top of her head. "Needed you, love. Get used to it." Dipping his head he nuzzled her neck. "I love shagging my girl."

"Me too." Willow frowned, "You know what I mean."

Spike chuckled again. "I know, pet. Now go back to sleep. We'll 'ave another go around later, hum?"

Yawning Willow made an agreeable sound. "Sounds good, Spike."

They were both sound asleep when Xander called.

Willow slept deeply, but it was a troubled sleep. The only thing she could see, no matter how she tried to fight it, was Spike's death. She saw him staked by each person she loved; especially Buffy. She saw other demons tearing him to pieces. She saw the sun rising.

She saw Spike turning to dust over and over again.

She screamed and screamed, but nothing changed. She tried to help, but couldn't move. She was helpless to do anything other than watch Spike come apart before her eyes.

Then suddenly things changed and Willow saw herself getting older. And older. And even older until she looked like Spike's grandmother. Heck, his great grandmother. The older she got the more Spike turned away from her, the more she saw the love and lust face from his face until she was ancient and wrinkled and he didn't look at her at all.

When Willow could take no more and was nothing but a weak ball of pain and tears, Jessie appeared.

"You can prevent this from ever happening, you know. If you want to, you can be with Spike for eternity and keep him safe. You'll grow old, Willow, and you'll die; while Spike will be forever young. But it doesn't have to be that way. You have the power to change it, what nature would take from you, you can keep and be with Spike forever. And," Jessie smiled brilliantly. "You don’t even need to vamp for it."

"How?" Willow gasped through her tears. "How do I stop this from happening?"

Jessie's smiled deepened. Love, it was the most powerful of all the emotions and the most destructive. So many people had done terrible things in the name of Love. Love was the easiest thing in the world to twist and bend and manipulate for someone else's own ends.

"You even have the power to see me again too. You can bring me back, it can be like it used to be. Don’t you miss me, Wills? Don’t you wish I was still here? I miss you. I want to be The Three Musketeers again."

Even in sleep Willow could feel her power growing to enormous magnitude. It infused every nerve, every pore on her skin until she was vibrating with it. Her eyes closed to better absorbed the feeling, little black veins materialising beneath her eyes. When Willow opened her eyes again she was out of her dream and awake in bed.

Leaning over Willow gave Spike a shake. "We have to go, Spike. It’s time to go."

Spike groaned. "Go where? It’s the middle of the day. Go back to sleep, baby."

Climbing out of bed Willow went to the curtains and pulled them open. Spike heard the rattle of the curtain pole and jumped up, looking for someplace to hide. He stood there, naked, with the sun coming through the window; but he wasn't burning. Willow was chanting quietly, her eyes fixed on the sun and the sun, was he imagining it? Was the sun getting dimmer?

Spike stared at her in fascination, she was forcing the day into darkness. The magic rolling off her was so strong he could feel it all over; in every cell of his body. "Willow love?"

Turning to look at him, Willow took his hand. "Come with me, Spike. I know what to do now."

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

She smiled, eyes shining. "I know how we can be together for eternity, and I don’t have to die for it."

The veins were visible around her eyes and seemed to be popping out all over her face, but her hair and eyes were only slightly flecked with black. This wasn't like last night, Willow was in control; Spike could feel it.

"It's been back, The First." It wasn't a question, Spike somehow just knew.

Willow nodded. "You and me, together forever. I can make it happen now, Spike. I know what to do, It showed me. I know how to get unlimited power and destroy anything that ever threatens you; or us."

"How you plannin' on doin' that, love?" he asked warily.

"I love you," she said softly. "I want to be with you. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices to get what we want. I'll give up my soul for you, Spike."

"What if you won't love me?" He hadn't felt this ridiculously insecure in years; but he was happy now and losing Willow's love was one thing he was not prepared to risk.

"You don't love with your soul," she said simply. "I love you with everything I am, and my soul is not everything I am. Nothing will change how I feel about you."

"We're talkin' about The First 'ere, love. It's not just gonna help you out of the goodness of It's heart. It doesn't 'ave any goodness in it. An' It tried to kill Angel, remember?"

"Do you trust me?"

"'Course I do!"

"Then will you come with me, Spike? Will you help me by like you?"

Spike nodded. He was more than willing to go with her when she offered him everything he could ever want.

XxX

Angel felt the darkness and he woke with a start. Disorientated he looked at the clock to find it was the middle of the day. Every instinct he had told him it was dark.

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed Angel went to the window and carefully peeled back the edge of the curtain; shocked when he was greeted by darkness. Pulling the curtains apart he stood in the window staring up at the sky, but there was no sun to be seen.

He got dressed hurriedly, his worry making him clumsy and it took a few moments until he could do up his belt properly.

Where was Spike?

Where was Buffy?

What was happening?

Angel raced down the stairs, skidding to a halt in the hallway when he came face to face with himself. Angel blinked, his body tensing as he eyed this newcomer warily. It was him. They had the same face, the same long hair, the same clothes he had worn back in the day. Angel remembered that suit, Angelus was never really one to bother about clothes, that was Darla's thing, but he had enjoyed that red brocade jacket.

"You're time's nigh."

The Irish brogue startled him. Angel realised he wasn't looking at himself as such, he was looking at Angelus.

There was only one entity he knew of that could take another's form, and only one who'd been pulling that particular trick lately. The First Evil was still here.

Ignoring it, Angel tore out of the house; he had to get to the library. He had to find out what was going on.

The streets were in uproar; humans were running everywhere. Angel didn't stop to fight with any of the demons he came across, there was no time. Besides, they didn't seem to be causing any trouble, they were just standing around staring at the sky. They looked as shocked by the current situation as he was.

Rounding a corner Angel came across a vampire in the act of dragging a screaming woman from her car. Pulling a stake from his pocket Angel sped up, jamming the stake into the vampire's back as he passed. The vampire exploded and Angel kept running. "Get home and stay there!" he yelled over his shoulder. "And don't invite anyone in!"

Before he left the street Angel hear the car come to life and the squealing of tyres as the woman wheel spun the car from the curb. One person at least was safe and they were one vampire down. That could only help.

Everyone was at the library when Angel finally arrived. Xander was talking, waving his arms around. "We didn't get anywhere near the doughnut shop. The sun just went," he clicked his fingers for emphasis.

"And then there were demons everywhere," Cordelia continued. "How does the sun just disappear, Giles?"

Buffy made a sound which was rather close to a growl. "Willow's life is on the line. Amy's disappeared off the face of the earth and now the sun has gone down in the middle of the afternoon. What is going on around here?"

"Buffy!"Angel hurried across the room. "Are you alright? What's happening?"

"I'm fine," Buffy smiled at his concern. "We aren't sure what's going on to be honest."

"Did you notice anything unusual on your way over here?" Giles asked as he scurried into this office and began to pull books from the cupboard.

Angel shook his head. "No, nothing. Other than the sun."

It was at that moment when Faith and Oz arrived. He sported a cut over his eyebrow and there was a bruise forming on Faith's cheek. Xander went to meet them. "What happened?"

"I was half way home when it went dark," Oz explained. "So I figured something was wrong and I turned to come back. I ran across Faith taking on three vampire's and stopped to help."

"That's the last time I go for lunch. From now on I'm ordering take out," Faith muttered, poking at her stinging cheek. "Someone wanna catch me up? It's like a demon playground out there, shouldn't we be slaying?"

"Yeah," Buffy nodded. "We should. Xan, you, Cordelia and Oz stay here and help Giles. Angel, Faith and I will hit the streets."

"You might wanna look up The Dark Queen," Faith said. "One of the vamps I was fighting said "You can’t stop it, Slayer. The blood of the innocent will run when The Dark Queen rises." Whatever that means."

Angel, who was in the book cage with Buffy loading up on weapons, froze with his hand half way to an axe. "Oh no," he whispered, his hand dropping to his side.

"Angel?" Buffy touched his arm, she couldn't resist. He didn't love her anymore and she knew it, but she couldn't help still loving him; with Spike's upcoming departure from Sunnydale, Buffy couldn't help but hope things would go back to how they should be where she and Angel were concerned.

"Something wrong?" Cordelia asked, eyeing him through the bars.

Giles looked up, clutching a book tightly to his chest he headed towards Angel. "Do you know something, Angel? Does it ring a bell with you?"

Angel's mind was racing. It couldn't be right. He had to be wrong. Surely this couldn't happen. "I... I made a wish," he said slowly. "To a Vengeance Demon. I ended up in an alternate Sunnydale."

"Another Sunnydale?" Oz looked interested.

"Yeah." Angel's worry kicked itself up a notch as memories assailed him. "Things were very different...."

"Were we there?" Cordelia interrupted.

"Yes," Angel replied distractedly. "You two," he indicated Cordelia and Oz, "were engaged."

Cordelia and Oz exchanged surprised looks. "Us? As in me and Oz? Engaged?"

"Well that's nice," Xander said crossly "Where was I when all this engaged-ness was going on?"

"You were a vampire," Angel said bluntly. "You and your friend Jessie."

"Oh," Xander was intrigued in spite of himself. For the first time in a long time he thought of Jessie, experiencing a sharp stab of pain and regret. He missed his friend. He would always miss his friend. Maybe having vamp Jessie around wouldn't have been that bad. He looked at Angel, if only they had known about the soul restoration spell back then, they could have performed it on Jessie and he could have been like Angel; only not as brooding and boring.

"Spike was there," Angel continued. "He and Willow were together. Spike ran Sunnydale; he had killed The Master and The Anointed One and had the respect of the demon community. I know Spike killed The Anointed One in this reality but obviously he didn't kill The Master. I could feel the darkness in the other Willow, it was her magic behind Spike that let him do anything he wanted to do. She used her power for Spike." He paused and looked at Giles with troubled eyes. "Spike called Willow his Dark Queen and they kept talking about an Ascension."

"Ascension?"Buffy gasped. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Why?"

"Of course," Giles shook his head. "You haven't been here." He explained to Angel what he had found out.

"You don't think she's behind the sun setting, do you?" Buffy asked, her stomach clenching.

"No... um, does she have that much power? I don't know," Giles admitted.

"When I was in the alternate Sunnydale, Willow had immense power. She and Spike..." Angel paused, searching for the right word. "She and Spike were intimate, and when she, um, peaked, her magic shook the whole room."

"That amount of excess magic is concerning," Giles said.

Angel nodded. "I thought so too."

"From what you've just told us, Angel. I fear that Willow was always meant to ascend."

"I don't know if its relevant, but, well, Xander had been sired by Spike. Willow asked Spike to do it."

"Willow asked Spike to turn me into a vampire?" Xander was incredulous.

"You weren't just a vampire," Angel said. "You were part of the inner circle; you, Jessie, Darla and Drusilla."

"Wow," Xander's lips pursed. "I was an important vampire."

Buffy cleared her throat. "Were.... um... were we all there?"

"No," Angel, hated to hurt her. "There were no Slayers."

Buffy flinched. Angel's heart went out to her. The Slayer was ready to go out into the street and kick butt. She was ready to fight and go down fighting if she had to. But the teenage girl was hurting because she was not in alternate universe created by the man she loved.

"It would be better for you if you hated me," he said quietly.

Buffy flinched again. She was aware of the confused looks her friends were exchanging; she hadn't mentioned to anyone that the man she loved no longer loved her.

She swallowed past the painful lump in her throat. She would never stop loving Angel and Buffy knew it. He was the first man she had ever loved. He was the man she had given herself to heart, body and soul. The first time she had made love with man it had been with Angel, and it had been special and wonderful and everything she could have hoped it would be. He was in her heart and he was there to stay. Angel might be right; it might be better for her to hate him, but it wasn't that easy, even knowing that he now loved Spike the way he loved her, that he wanted to touch Spike the way he had touched her. It was hurtful, and when she thought about it Buffy felt as though she would never be happy again; but she couldn't hate Angel.

"No Slayers and no Watcher's huh?" Faith guessed, desperate to break the awkward silence that had descended upon the room.

"Giles was there. He and Jenny were there."

Giles started. "Jenny?"

"You were all still fighting, the four of you and you're friends Amy and Devon." Angel wasn't sure if telling Giles about Jenny was a good idea or not, but he didn't know what exactly was going to be relevant information, if anything in an alternate reality was even remotely relevant.

"Devon was involved?"Oz looked suitably impressed.

"And your Principle."

"Snyder?" Xander exclaimed loudly.

"Snyder was the good guy?" Buffy's eyes widened.

Angel smiled at their disbelieving looks. "From what you've told me, he wasn't that different." Angel didn't think he would forgive the Principle for pretty much calling him a complete and utter idiot.

Pulling himself out of thoughts of Jenny, Giles cleared his throat and gestured towards the doors, it was time to bring some order to the proceedings. "Buffy, Faith, Angel; off you go. Everyone else, with me."

There was a shuffle of bodies as they all moved to their assigned tasks. Buffy had just finished tucking a stake into the top of her boot when Willow and Spike arrived. "Willow!" she stepped out of the book cage. "I'm glad you're here. Do you have any...."

Willow ignored her completely, hand in Spike's she went straight to the middle of the room. A strong wind sprung up, and a shimmering shield of magic separated her and Spike from the others Buffy's blood ran cold. This was not looking good.

"Wills?" Xander got as close to the wall of magic as he could. "Willow, what are you doing? This isn't you. You aren't evil Willow, you're our Willow; the same Willow who cried because you broke the yellow crayon on the first day of kindergarten. Willow please don't do this."

Magic poured from Willow, filling the air with purple and green spirals. Red lightning flashed and the floor gave way, black smoke rising from beneath, the ground shivering and shaking. Hair flying behind her, Willow turned to Spike tilting her head back and offering her neck.

The First Evil appeared taking the form of Jenny Calendar. It watched Willow's offering and tried to stop Spike from sinking his fangs into her throat, but Willow's magic fought It's own. It gave a shriek when Spike pierced her throat and began to drink; Willow's magic grew stronger and The First could feel Itself getting weaker.

Spike drew back, licking her blood from his lips. Her eyes were flecked with black but he still felt that reign of control from her; whatever was happening, Willow knew what she was doing; that glazed, zombie look was absent from her face.

"We'll be together forever," she whispered, touching her fingers to his throat. "If you offer me what you have."

"Take it," Spike drew a nail across his throat, excitement thrumming through him at the mere thought of her lips on his skin, drinking his blood.

Willow pressed her mouth to the cut and Spike groaned, cradling her back of her head in the palm of one hand and stroking her back with the other.

"No!" The First sent a wave of magic at the entwined couple, but it rolled over them without causing even the slightest damage. Willow had connected with the Hellmouth as she was supposed to, but her connection with Spike went deeper; she could block It's attempts to merge with her.

As Willow's connection with Spike and the Hellmouth became absolute and her soul departed, The First saw It's chance disappear. It had thought It could twist Willow's love for Spike to It's own ends; but Spike had a stronger hold over her than The First ever could.

As he had felt the soul enter his body Spike now felt it leave. It was a less painful experience. His chest grew warm, he felt the familiar squirming of the soul and then it was gone; he felt like his old self.

Drawing back from Spike's throat Willow smiled, stroking his cheek. "It's done. Nothing can touch us Spike."

He still loved her. Even without her soul Spike could still feel that all consuming love for her, and he saw it in her eyes; she still loved him too. What life they would have together; travel, destruction and bloodshed. It would be glorious.

He kissed her softly. "Clever girl."

Willow's eyes narrowed and she looked at The First. "You will not control me."

Spike grinned, rubbing his cheek against hers. "You got that unlimited source of power now, love?"

"Yes. I've got it, Spike." Willow had known Spike was right when he told her The First had a reason for helping her and she'd also figured out what It was up to when she had seen Spike was able to physically wound it.

Willow hated being used, it reminded her of her old self; pathetic, geeky, doormat Willow. It had occurred to her that if The First wanted to possess her body then her magic had to be strong, The First would want as much power as possible. It was her body, her magic, her power and Willow wasn't about to let someone or something else take it and take Spike too. Spike had said her love for him was stronger than the power of The First and Willow was inclined to believe him; especially as The First kept circling back to her feelings for Spike, hoping to use it as her weakness, as a way to control her.

The First had fallen into the same habit as everyone else; focusing on what It perceived to be her weakness and forgetting that she was _smart_.

Spike had always believed in her magical ability and Willow had started to do the same thing. She could not take the power of The First, but she could use the power of the Hellmouth. Witches were all part of nature and The Hellmouth belonged to the earth; it was all one big circle which allowed her to draw power from an unlimited source.

The First had gambled and lost. Willow had gambled and won.

As Willow drew from the Hellmouth and set a blast of magic outwards to shatter the windows and shake the building, The First felt Itself grow weaker. It could not be killed. Willow would not destroy It. But she could keep It in Its weakened state. It retreated into the Hellmouth to where It could nurture Itself and build It's power back.

Still siphoning magic, Willow turned her attention to Faith. Faith felt the pull of her friend; it came from deep inside her, something that twisted and recognised a kindred spirit. Willow smiled and Faith stepped forward, trusting that she could pass through the wall of magic which had kept them all back.

When Faith came abreast of them, Willow touched her face. " Our fierce warrior. The ultimate Slayer."

It was not the time for stupid jealousy, but Buffy felt the sting of Willow choosing Faith over her. More than that, she felt the unbearable pain of losing her best friend. As she stared at Willow, Buffy knew it was over; Willow's soul was gone and she was no longer human. Tears stung her eyes. Buffy felt useless and a complete failure. She hadn't managed to keep her best friend safe and now she was gone. They would never dance at The Bronze again, or study, or have a sleep over, or spend a cosy night curled up with a movie, chocolate and popcorn and talk about boys.

Buffy didn't have much time to mourn the loss of her friend, for suddenly there were vampire's and demon's pouring into the library, headed by Johnny. She gathered herself for the fight, but before she could so much as lift her sword she was hit by a ball of magic and she went tumbling backwards. Buffy grunted when Cordelia landed on top of her.

Winded, she lay there a moment trying to catch her breath. She could see Oz over to her left lying face down, eyes closed. Xander and Angel were in a tangle to her right, but she couldn't see Giles with Cordelia's body pinning her down.

Giving Cordelia a shove, Buffy sat up and made a quick surveillance of the room. She noticed the demons who had arrived weren't alone, they had struggling humans with them. Clambering to her feet Buffy ran to help, but found herself stuck on the opposite side of the magical barrier. Frustrated to turned to Giles who was just getting to his feet. "Can't you do something about this wall?"

"No," Giles replied, equally frustrated. "Willow's magic is far too strong. Any spell I could cast wouldn't make a dent."

The sound of Willow's voice brought a pause to the conversation. "With the blood of the innocent they shall rise again."

Buffy watched horrified as the vampire's bit into the necks of the humans they had brought with them and the other demons used claws to slit the throats of the human's they held. There was blood, so much blood. It spread over the smooth wooden floor, dripping down into the opening of the Hellmouth.

"What... what the hell?" Xander demanded, coming to stand at Buffy's shoulder.

"That blast of magic Willow sent out was a call," Angel said from behind them. "As a demon I could feel it. They've been waiting for this, somehow they knew about it. They've answered her call."

There was more smoke coming from the Hellmouth and then suddenly a figure emerged. Buffy's eyes went wide and she heard Xander suck in a breath as Jessie appeared. He wasn't the only one to come back, Buffy watched helplessly and strangely fascinated, as Billy Ford arrived and then Theresa, Buffy remembered vividly how Angelus had turned Theresa. Next came Sheila, Buffy recalled how she had joined Spike in stalking her through the school. She felt it as if she were watching a parade of her failures.

The resurrections weren't complete as Luke, Dalton and then Darla were next to appear and finally The Master.

Buffy took a step back, her heart lurching. The Master had killed her and she had killed him. Seeing him standing there sent a chill through her.

The Master grinned, stretching out his arms. "It's so good to be back."

Willow touched Spike’s arm."Go Spike, he can’t touch you."

Fangs still stained with her blood, Spike grinned wickedly. He went straight to The Master, accepting a stake from Faith as he passed her. Plunging the stake into The Master's chest Spike watched with a sense of satisfaction as he disintegrated. "Always was a pompous git."

The vampires knelt before Spike, Darla and the newly risen vampire's following suit. Heads bowed they chorused a respectful "Master."

"We need to get out of here," Giles said grabbing Buffy's arm. "There's too many of them and Willow's too strong. We need to leave, now."

"How is this happening?" Xander sounded dazed as he staggered backwards. "Why is she doing this?"

"Because she can."

Buffy turned, fully intent on giving Angel a piece of her mind, maybe even punching him in the face. He wasn't helping. Buffy swore her heart stopped. Her stomach dropped to the floor. Angel's lips were covered in blood, Cordelia and Oz lay sprawled on her floor, bleeding from the neck.

"I saw The First earlier, told me my time was nigh. Didn't know what It meant until now."

She had seen so busy focusing on Willow that Buffy hadn't given a thought to Angel and his soul. Now she was stood face to face with Angelus.

"I liked that other Sunnydale, you know, the one without you in it. No Slayer. No Watcher. Sounds good to me." Angelus' hand shot out and he caught Buffy by the throat. "I owe you one, don't I, Buff." Angelus clicked his tongue against his cheek. "You did send me to hell, remember?"

Buffy struggled, trying to see what had happened to Giles and Xander. Angelus obliged her. Spinning Buffy in tight to his chest, pinning her arms to her side. The new position allowed her to see what was going on. Darla had hold of Giles, her fangs in his neck and Buffy could see the life draining from him. His eyes fluttered and then he went limp. Darla dropped him at her feet and smiled. "Delicious."

Buffy's eyes darted away from Giles prone form looking desperately for Xander. Her lips parted and she looked on helplessly as Spike held Xander against his throat. She could see the blood from Xander's neck wound staining his shirt.

"First time I've ever turned anyone," Spike said, dropping Xander into Jessie's outstretched arms. He curled an arm around Willow's waist. "I did it for you."

"I know, and I love you for it," Willow reached up on tip toes and kissed him.

There was a sudden sharp, savage pain in her neck as Angelus bit down, tearing into her flesh. Buffy jerked in his arms and grit her teeth, she would not give him the satisfaction of screaming. As he drank her life essence and her eyes slid out of focus Buffy caught sight of Willow and Spike. Willow was smiling, looking up at him, her arms around his waist. The last thing she heard was the voice of her best friend, the friend she had failed to protect.

"You will rule from on high, my Spike. You will walk with your head among the stars, use the moon as a sceptre, the town is yours. A new era is born."

 

_fin_

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
